THE TUTU DOCTRINE
THE NEW WORLD ORDER
Translated from Danish
22nd Edition begun May 2020
PUBLISHED BY 2
2's SOLFOND
Free Copyright
BEYOND
REASON
THE
BRIDGE
THE
SOFTENING OF THE STONE HEART
THE
HOLY GRAIL
Four
fairytales describing one Buddhist and three Hinduistic archetypes, and
The TuTu Doctrine describing the Holy Grail
THE
AVATAR OF SYNTHESES
THE 2
2 DOCTRINE
1
THE FIFTH DIMENSION
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
BEYOND REASON
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
THE FEMININE:
THE EMOTIONAL
Contents part 1 Contents
part 2 Contents part 3
Contents part 4
Contents part 5
THE INITIATION
While gazing at the ocean, I remembered the Master.
How God brought the two of us together is something I marvel at.
He lived in the far East, I in the high North.
One day, I was a guest of one of his servants in the North.
This visit was a result of various currents in my life.
CHILDHOOD FAITH
I grew up in an atheist family,
and when I wanted to attend Sunday school to get colored scraps like
some of the other children, my parents told me that the teachers of
Sunday school talked about God, but He did not exist in Reality.
I was further told that He was createdmanifested by weak souls, who were not
able to face that death is a black hole, where you sleep forever when
life is over.
When I began public school, I was told that this wasn’t true; that God
existed and was a very old man, who had lived always and that He was
good and loving and loved all people.
His name was Yahweh and He was invisible, and he spoke in a way, which
common people could not hear, so they only became aware that He was
alive because some uncommon people existed, who were able to both see
and hear Him.
I got the impression back then that there were many, like my parents,
who believed that it was something the uncommon people invented because
they were out to cheat the common people, but there were also many who
believed in them, in particular, if they were able to perform miracles,
like Moses did.
The uncommon ones said that God lived in the Heavens and from there He
looked down on Earth and kept an eye to see if people complied with the
ten important rules He had made for them.
The good ones believed in God and complied with the rules but the evil ones did not.
God invented various ways to torment the evil ones until they became good.
Even if you shouldn’t think so, God loved the evil ones too and you
could know that because He grieved when He had to torment them.
God thought that some of the uncommon ones were particularly good,
because they complied so much with Him that they were willing to kill
their own children if He told them to.
In return, He would kill all their enemies, that is, if they otherwise needed to have somebody killed.
He gave special rewards to those who were so good that they chose to side with Him above everyone else.
They did not have to think about how they would have their wishes
fulfilled because He would see to that, and in addition, they were
allowed to be together with Him in Paradise, when they died
Furthermore, I was told that Paradise was a garden in Heaven, where
they felt so wonderful that they would rather be there than anywhere
else.
But at some point in time, nobody would obey Him anyway, and therefore
He decided to kill all the people in the World except Noah and the
animals, but this did not help much either; so He still had to torment
people at regular intervals.
For example, I was told that He once sent an angel to a city to find
out, who believed in Him in this city, but only one single person did.
The believer was told to take his wife with him out of the city, and
when he had left, God killed the rest of the people in the city by
burning them up with sulfur and fire.
The wife was told not to turn around to see what God did to the people
she knew, but since she did so anyway, God had to change her into a
pillar of salt.
I was told that God also had other means to torment those, who did not comply with Him.
Once you died, He would meet you and tell you that He knew if you had
belonged to the good ones or the evil ones, when you were alive.
If you belonged to the evil ones, He sent you to hell, where the devil lived.
Hell was a place below the ground, and it was awful to be there,
because people were burnt with sulfur and fire all the time, like the
people in that city, which God burnt down.
The advantage of being tormented by God, while you lived, was that you
risked becoming good from it, or else you could die from it; but the
devil you only came down to after you were dead so therefore he could
go on tormenting you forever.
The devil was easy to know from all others as he always had a trident
with him and was either black or red and very ugly, and besides, he had
a tail and horns on his brow like an animal, but he was so very sly
that he had learned to make himself invisible or hide in the darkness,
so he became difficult to discover.
He loved to torment and haunt as many as possible, and therefore he
would like many to be evil, so God would let him have them when they
died.
He tried to make people evil by making himself invisible and whisper in
their ear that they should do something evil, which they otherwise
never could have come up with themselves.
There were many, who did not discover that it was the work of the devil
until it was too late, so you should always be wary of what you thought.
Those, who did not discover that it was he, who whispered in their ear,
he got more and more power over, and so they came to belong to him when
they died, and that problem God wouldn’t help them with because it was
their own fault that they had been so stupid.
That made me wonder; since God was the strongest of the two, He could
easily have taken those people from the devil and told him that they
had not meant any harm by doing the things they had done, but he did
not do it, because then it might happen that the devil would become so
cross, because God interfered in his whispering to people that he no
longer would help God; and then where was God to put all those He
needed to send to hell?
The good ones wept a lot because there were so many, who wouldn’t
believe in God, and the evil ones were so evil that they downright
laughed at those, who believed in God; so in the end God saw no other
way but sending his only Son out of the Heavens and down on Earth to
tell the evil ones that they had to believe in God now, because
otherwise it would become a serious matter.
His Son’s name was Jesus, and he had agreed to come down on Earth to
perform miracles to make it easier for people to believe in God.
He had also agreed to be tormented and killed in a horrifying way, and
therefore God loved him more than everybody else, because when people
saw that, they would surely understand that they should take pity on
God, because they had not believed in Him for such a long time that He
had to treat His only Son in this way.
While Jesus walked on Earth, he promised that he would come down from
Heaven again many years after he was tormented and killed, since he
could not die for real like other people, because he was God’s Son.
At that time, he would see if it had helped any that he and God had done all this for people’s sake.
Those, who had not mended their ways, he would torment, and those, who
had regretted that they didn’t believe in God in the past would be
forgiven and be allowed to sit next to Jesus.
It was particularly fine to sit there, because he sat to the right hand
side of God, the Father, but there was nobody, who knew, who sat to the
left hand side of God, the Father.
HAVING IT OUT WITH GOD
I also felt sorry for God, because people wouldn’t believe in Him.
I wouldn’t mind believing in Him and doing what He wanted me to.
I would even be so good so as to side with Him above everyone else and
was looking forward to have all my wishes fulfilled when I asked Him or
Jesus for something.
My parents wouldn’t agree to let me get a dog, and so I asked God for a
dog many times, but it didn’t help any because I did not get a dog
anyway.
Not even a guinea pig even though I had agreed to settle for a guinea pig.
I thought that God might not be able to hear me, so I had better ask Jesus for it, but that didn’t help any either.
I began getting a hunch that neither God nor Jesus liked me.
That, I thought, was mean, but I kept that a secret, because the worst
thing you could do was to think anything bad about God or Jesus.
I decided to go to church a lot to make God and Jesus like me.
One day, a priest threw me out of the church saying that it wasn’t a place for children.
That convinced me that God and Jesus really didn’t like me, and now I
joined the evil ones, who thought that God didn’t exist, and who spoke
about Him in demeaning ways, if He was mentioned at all.
Even though I could not discern that God punished me for it, I began
fearing God’s revenge once I died and the time of reckoning came.
My fear of death slowly piled up into a feeling of hopelessness and
melancholy, to such an extent that I began longing for death to get it
over with and to get to know if God existed and wanted revenge, or if
death was a black hole like my parents thought.
GOALS OF LIFE
As a young person, I
sought for a goal for my life.
I took a closer look at those people who were rich and powerful, by reading
about them in magazines, but I did not think they had anything that I wanted.
I took a closer look at the beautiful and the famous too, but I did not think
they had anything that I wanted either.
I thought that I would like to have a husband whom I loved, and who loved me
too.
I would also like to have some wonderful children who held out their little
arms to me when I came home from work.
I got a husband and discovered that the love between us did not give me the
satisfaction I had imagined.
I got a child and I did not think that the love between us gave me the
satisfaction that I had hoped for.
I had had my wishes fulfilled, but they did not extinguish that peculiar
longing that I had within me, and which I no longer could put a name to.
PSYCHOTROPICA 1
When II approached
twenty-five years of age, my marriage dissolved, and I drifted on in
life without coming across anything that could fulfill me.
It was part of the zeitgeist at that time to experiment with various
substances to achieve expansion of consciousness, and I began smoking
Indian hemp together with my sister and her husband.
Under the influence of the hemp, I achieved expanded states of
consciousness that made it possible for me to experience life from new
perspectives.
For some time, this gave me the satisfaction I had longed for.
I, my sister and her husband were excited about the World that opened
up to us by the help of the hemp, and in the end, we smoked daily.
In particular we used the expanded states of consciousness to listen to music and talk about life.
My sister’s husband was spiritually inclined.
He was the first person I had met since my childhood’s showdown with God who did not use the word God as a profanity.
He talked about God as if He existed, and I wondered how he could bear to take God seriously.
He had written some poems about his relationship with God that he read
aloud at times when we had smoked together, and they made a deep
impression on me with their descriptions of a beautiful and painful
love relationship, which was beyond anything I had experienced.
He also made paintings of God that envisioned an exploding power, and
my perception of God as an old man with a long white beard began to
stagger.
At the same time, this information createdmanifested resistance and fear in me
because my childhood faith still sat so deep that, in spite of all my
endeavors, I had not managed to shake it off, and my childhood God
demanded that you only looked at Him as God.
If now I began to assume a new perspective, I probably chose an idol, and then He would surely take revenge when I died.
My sister’s husband also introduced the concept of reincarnation,
rebirth in life after life, and I began hoping that my childhood
understanding of God, death and hell was not true.
He talked about coming closer to God through inner enlightenment and
about meditation as a means to achieve it, and again, I became
interested in finding out something about God and shook off my
resistance and my fear.
At some point the impact of the hemp began to change.
I remained in my normal state of mind in its most confused and
suspicious form instead of feeling uplifted to expanded, clear and
intuitive states of consciousness.
Inspired by my sister’s husband and the expanded states of
consciousness from the hemp, I began to investigate the contemporary
methods as to how to learn to meditate instead.
Now and then I got a glimpse of something that reminded me of the lost
effect of the hemp, but not sufficiently, so I continued my quest.
INITIATION 1
One day, I was to meet a woman who also meditated.
When we met, she told me about her Master’s work that consisted in transmission
of higher states of consciousness, which he and his servants, who are called preceptors,
transmitted into the heart of the disciples, and she suggested that I received
a transmission from her to experience it.
We sat down opposite each other with eyes closed.
She began transmitting.
Immediately, I got a vision, where I saw a beam of
light that streamed from her third eye in my direction, and I got the
impression of moving with great speed towards something that I did not know
what was.
The feeling of speed slowed down.
The light divided into two beams and touched me directly in two chakras on my
upper chest, and here they createdmanifested a slight pressure, before sliding in with a
tingling sensation.
Then I felt a sharp
snap in my head and re-experienced an event from the past that I had forgotten.
The memory disappeared, and a vision of delicate pastel shades that mingled
with each other emerged.
In the end, it felt as if a hand gently stroke down the backside of my head.
Until then, I had only seen something with my inner eye when I dreamt in the
night or formed images of memory from a situation or of a person I was thinking
of.
It had never occurred to me that it was possible to see anything else, and when
my third eye caught the light from the preceptor’s third eye, I opened my
physical eyes to see if the sunlight from outside had come into the room and
was playing on my eyelids, but that was not the case.
I did not know anything about the third eye,
purification of old mind-images or The White Light, which actually had a tinge
of gray in the same way as a foggy ray of sun that radiates down through a gap
in the layer of clouds on an overcast day.
Although I had a splitting headache when I left, I was impressed.
Two days later, I was
seated in the home of the preceptor again and received transmission.
Again, I saw The White Light.
This time, it streamed from all of her upper body and glided towards me like a
huge wave that absorbed me and filled me with happiness.
I thought that life was wonderful and I wished to remain in this
happiness-creating light forever.
In the end, I saw myself sitting in miniature at the bottom of a gray flower.
DOUBTS
I told others about my
experiences and expected that they would want to investigate the Master’s
transmission, but instead they doubted my sanity.
That made me uncertain, and I began doubting it too.
I exerted myself to the utmost, to spot the insanity, but I could not detect
it, neither in myself nor in the other meditating people; so I shook off my
fears and continued to receive transmissions and other guidance from the
preceptor.
When she spoke about the Master, I became particularly attentive.
One day, she mentioned that he had ulcers.
I was shaken.
If it were really true that he was a Master, then why didn’t he heal himself?
Again my childhood’s image of God emerged to the surface and made me think that if he had been Jesus, he would have healed himself.
Maybe he wasn’t a Master in Reality but one of the powers of darkness who used
the light to snare people, and only after they were trapped would they become
aware that, in Reality, all of it had been the delusion of the devil.
It dawned on me that even if it turned out that this wasn’t the case,
innermost, I had hoped to get his help to escape from sufferings, but how would
he be able to help me with that when he himself was suffering from an illness?
However, I did not feel like giving up the expanded states of consciousness, so
I decided that I had to wait and see how everything developed, and I shook off
my fear.
My desire to meet the Master in person grew, and finally came the day when I stood face to face with him for the first time.
FACE TO FACE WITH THE MASTER
ARRIVAL AT THE MASTER’S
We were a group of twelve Europeans, who
had traveled together to
I was going in the first batch, but three of the group members had agreed to
take a taxi from New Delhi to Shahjahanpur, and they had left without telling
the rest of us who had planned to take the train the next morning.
When I discovered that, I persuaded the other two to take a taxi together with
me, but I was furious at those three who had left without us.
We arrived in Shahjahanpur some time into the evening and asked people for directions, but it took a long time before we finally met a person who knew who the Master was.
I got disheartened by this, because if he was a great spiritual Master like I
had been told, it appeared strange to me that hardly anybody in his own town
knew who he was.
When we entered the courtyard, I spotted the other three standing on the
terrace, facing away from us.
I rushed over to them furiously and said to one of them: "Do you think you can stand by what you did?" but when he turned his face towards me, I came to a halt and stared at him, astonished.
His face had a peaceful refulgence, which had not been there when I saw him twelve hours earlier in New Delhi
TELEPATHY
At that moment, everybody turned their heads towards a corridor at the right side of the building complex.
The Master came walking out from there.
He was a delicately built, thin and bald man, 74 years of age.
Slightly stooped, he came towards us, and at that instant a thought that I knew
wasn’t my own arose in my mind: "Who disturbs the peace?"
In a breathless moment I realized that
telepathy exists.
The next moment, I realized that it was I who disturbed the peace.
First I felt ashamed, and then I felt angry.
It was unfair that I was attacked in this way.
It wasn’t I who had made a mistake but the others.
Inexplicably, I felt that the Master did not share my point of view and got
confused.
UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THE MASTER’S RADIATION
He passed by us with a
short greeting, by placing one palm of his hand against the other in front of
his chest and nodding lightly with his head.
This greeting is called Namaste or the God-greeting and it means: "I greet
God in you."
He sat down on a chair on the terrace, and I and the rest of the European and
Indian disciples sat down on chairs in a semicircle around him.
Yet not a word had been spoken.
Now and then I looked investigatingly at him.
He had radiant, beautiful eyes, and his face was light from refulgence.
His radiation was intense.
I got an urgent need to meditate and closed my eyes.
A huge image of Jesus on the cross rolled up before my inner eye and
disappeared.
Yet another question, which wasn’t my own, appeared in my mind: "Why have
you come?"
I answered in my mind too: "I have come to get proof of…. something."
I wringed my brain: "Now, why was it I had come?"
I rummaged my thoughts but did not find an answer.
I realized that I did not know why I had come, but I tried to wring a
question out of my brain because I sensed that the Master’s attention would be
directed elsewhere if I didn’t have anything to ask, but all my thoughts had
ebbed out and left me in a state of silence and a feeling of happiness.
THE MASTER – MY GURU
After some time, I opened my eyes and looked impressed at the Master.
He looked straight ahead of himself, and I looked around a bit and discovered
that another disciple sat with eyes closed.
"He is truly a Master," I thought "never have I experienced
anything like this."
Little by little, we all had opened our eyes, and soon a lively conversation
went on between the Master and us.
When he bid us goodnight, I wanted to show him that now I considered him to be
my Master, my Guru.
I waited until the others had walked away a bit and therefore could not hear
me, made the God-greeting and said: "Good night. My Master."
Now it was said out loud.
QUESTIONS TO THE MASTER
The Master’s eldest son managed the farm and his wife, their two daughters, an old maid and an office worker helped out.
The next morning, we were woken up by one of the Master’s grandchildren, a
young woman, who said that breakfast was ready.
We went downstairs, and the Master already sat in a corner of the courtyard in
the early morning sun smoking his hookah.
His hookah sent out a pleasant spiced and sweet
fragrance, and later I found out what was in it.
At the bottom there was a layer of molasses, then tobacco, and on top of the
tobacco was glowing charcoal that kept the tobacco lit.
The Indian disciples sat in a semicircle around him on the ground, and all of a
sudden, I thought that I didn’t have time to eat my breakfast and swallowed it
in a hurry to join the group.
I wanted to hear his
answer to my most burning question and I asked: "What is death?"
"Don’t you feel the peace of the morning?" he asked surprised.
"No, I have too many questions," I answered.
"Write them down, and I’ll answer them one by one," he said.
I went up to my room immediately but when I put the pen to the paper, yet
another question arose that wasn’t my own: "How would it help me that he
explained what death is?"
I realized that even if the Master were able to answer the question to my
satisfaction, my next question would be: "I wonder if what he says is
true."
I took up my next question, but in the same way, I realized that I wouldn’t be
able to use the answer for anything, and before I knew it, I was purged of
questions.
Marveling, I went down to the courtyard and sat down together with the other
disciples in front of the Master without asking him anything.
GOD’S WILL
The Master usually sat
on his terrace and worked with the disciples, who sat in a semicircle around
him.
I noticed that one woman often sat on the chair right opposite him, and I also
wanted to sit at the center of his happiness-creating attention.
I decided to sit down on that chair next time we
gathered around him, but hardly had I sat down before I felt that I had behaved
improper.
I got up, went out into the courtyard as randomly as possible and sat down on
another chair when I came back.
I wondered about the incident and decided to repeat the experiment, but the
result was the same.
The third time we went down there, I arrived as the last one.
The only chair vacant was the chair opposite the Master.
Beaming from joy I sat down.
I had heard sentences like: "Every single hair on our heads is accounted for" or "Not a sparrow falls to the ground without it being the will of God."
After my experiences with the chairs I began to wonder if that might be true,
because if it mattered which chair I sat down on, then that might also be true.
One day, another disciple asked the Master about it, and laughingly he
answered: "Yes, but the opposite is also true.
God’s will does not move without the creaturesmanifestations wanting it."
ARROGANCE 1
A session where the Master or his preceptors transmit The White Light to a group or a single person is called a sitting.
The spiritual work, which took place when we
were together with him, most often, consisted in him giving us a sitting in the
morning and in the evening.
Besides this, another part of the work took place automatically when we sat
together with him and were influenced by his radiation.
One evening, the Master led a group sitting that lasted unusually long, and he
breathed deeply like a person sleeping.
I had become sore from sitting for such a long time on the hard clay floor and I tiptoed out of the room to go
to the backmost courtyard to tell the young woman who was his grandchild that
he had fallen asleep and ask her what we should do.
She said that she would take the dog to the courtyard and make it bark.
Then he would probably wake up.
I tiptoed back into the room, and just as I slid through the door, he looked straight at me,
and then his eyes were closed again.
A few minutes later the dog barked in the courtyard and the Master stopped the
sitting.
When I and the married couple I shared room with were about to sleep, the wife
said: "It was good indeed that you had the courage to do something,
otherwise we would be sitting there still."
By this thought we burst into laughter, and after we started laughing, we
couldn’t stop again.
We laughed for hours about everything
between Heaven and Earth, and I was happy and satisfied
with myself when in the end we dropped off to sleep.
The next morning, the Master’s transmission had hardly begun before I began to
feel ashamed and I got confused because I did not understand why.
It occurred to me that I had reasons to feel ashamed about my behavior the
previous evening.
Patiently, the others had waited the unfolding of events even if they were sore
from sitting on the floor too, but I had not been patient, and on top of that,
I was arrogant enough to think that I was above them because of my action.
It had not occurred to me that the event could be seen from this perspective,
and my feeling of shame grew.
In the end, tears rolled down my cheeks.
Till this point, I had not thought of myself as arrogant or impatient, but
after the sitting I decided that I will not allow myself to be like that
anymore.
UNIVERSAL LOVE
One afternoon, we were together with the Master on the terrace.
The conversation switched among many topics, but soon the voices glided past my
ear like a faint humming in the background.
I was absorbed in watching the Master’s facial expressions and hand movements
while he spoke, and at the same time, I sank deeper and deeper into a feeling
of bliss.
Gratefully I thought: "Oh Master. I love you."
At that moment, he stopped talking and leaned back in his chair, as if he heard
my thought, and it also felt as if a special connection arose between us.
A moment later, he resumed the interrupted conversation.
I wanted to investigate if it was a coincidence, so the next day I stood in a
place where I could see him but he could not see me.
I concentrated, recreatedremanifested the emotion and repeated the thought.
"I love you, too," it sounded soundlessly in my thoughts, and he also turned his face in my direction, and again I got this feeling that a special connection arose between us.
I became happy and thought that his love was a special boon for me alone, but
when I told it to one of the other disciples, she said that she knew this
experience too.
Later, I heard other disciples, both male and female, express similar
experiences and I understood that the Master’s love was universal.
PRAYER
In the Master’s suggestions for daily practice a short prayer was included but I was reluctant to prayer, so I hadn’t used it yet.
One evening, on the terrace, the Master made us all roar with laughter again
and again, and my mood became so light and bright that I decided to use the
prayer, and when we came up to our room, I asked the wife if she would teach
me.
I repeated it after her a couple of times, and then we lay down to sleep.
I repeated the prayer a couple of times in my thoughts, and with a rush I felt
lifted to a feeling of great height, lying in blissful darkness.
For some time I floated there, and then, before my inner eye, I saw myself
slide down through a long dark tunnel.
In the distance I could see the exit, and it was filled with The White Light.
After this experience I let go of my reluctance towards prayer.
GOD IN A FELLOW HUMAN BEING
One morning, the wife was ill, and she said to her husband and me that we shouldn’t tell anybody because she was convinced that it would take its right course when she was with the Master.
Later that morning, a doctor came to her and inquired about her health, and she
asked us if we had told anybody, but that we had not.
She beamed like a sun and said: "No matter what happens to you, the Master
takes care of it. Just think, how did he know that I was ill?"
The doctor prescribed some homeopathic medicines which she should take three times a day, and turning towards me, he gave me the medicines and instructed me as to when she was to take what.
When he left, to my irritation, I became aware that it was expected that I
should give her the medicine.
I thought it was a restriction on my freedom that I had to keep an eye on time
so I could not just devote myself entirely to my experiences with the Master.
Moreover, I had a feeling that the Master made me her servant, and it made me feel that he loved her more than me.
A biblical sentence went through my head: "Am I my brother’s keeper?"
I was unpleasantly affected when I remembered that it was Cain’s reply to God
when God asked where Abel was after Cain had killed him.
I considered giving the medicine to her husband but hesitated, because if it
was the Master’s wish that I should do it, he might punish me somehow if I did
not do it.
I did not feel like telling her that she had to take care of taking her medicines herself, because she sat gazing happily ahead of herself and repeated: “Just think, how did he know that I was ill? The Master certainly takes care of everything”.
Reluctantly, I took on the task, but was not very particular about giving her
the medicine on time.
The following afternoon, I saw the doctor together with her in the courtyard
and hurried over there.
He was dissatisfied with the effects of the medicine and was prescribing
something else, while he instructed another woman as to what she was going to
have and when.
I felt that my task was given to somebody else because I had been irresponsible
and I said a silent prayer asking for another chance.
At that very moment, the doctor turned towards me, took the medicine from the
other woman, gave it to me and instructed me.
I felt relieved, and after this I saw to it that she got her medicine
punctually until she was well again.
Sometimes, it also happened that some of the Indian disciples told me how to meditate, and I got irritated.
Why did they tell me that?
Did I look like a beginner?
How could they know?
I did not listen to what they said, but one afternoon on the terrace with the Master, he corrected my form of meditation.
His transmission started flowing towards me, and I closed my eyes.
Then, I felt how my consciousness was gently focused in my heart and was
rocking there, until the transmission stopped.
I had begun to believe that the Master knew
everything that happened to me because of our telepathic contact, and the
events with the doctor and the other disciples made me think that in some
mysterious way or other, he was also present in all the events I participated
in, so that he could steer my life and my development in the right direction,
now that he had become my Guru.
Thus I had begun to believe that he was omniscient and omnipotent, and for the
first time I had got the idea that God’s qualities could be ascribed to a
fellow human being, and that God’s influence on my life had got something to do
with my fellow human beings.
THE MASTER’S IGNORANCE
One afternoon on the terrace, the conversation changed onto healing herbs.
The Master told us that once he had been at the doctor’s, and then he had known
how the various medicines in the doctor’s bottles worked merely by holding them
in his hand.
The doctor had been amazed and had said that everything the Master said was correct.
After narrating this, he leaned back in his chair and looked around at us like
a happy child who was proud of what he had accomplished, and now he expected
that we came up with an appropriate reaction.
Nobody said anything, and I stared perplexed at him.
Didn’t he himself know that he was omniscient, so that thing should be the very
least of his tricks?
A CLAIRVOYANT DREAM
One night, I had an unusual dream.
I dreamt that I went into the bathroom at the Master’s farm to take a shower.
When I came out there, the Master was lying in a new sunken bathtub, which had been built into the floor, together with a woman who was also his disciple, and who began meditating ahead of me.
I became a bit perplexed about the situation but thought that it was probably
all right when it concerned the Master and jumped into the bathtub myself.
As soon as I lay there the other woman disappeared, and I was glad to get an
opportunity to be alone with him.
He put his arms around me.
Sexual feelings arose in me, but I hoped that he did not discover that.
I was quiet as a mouse waiting to see what else would happen, but nothing
happened, and he got out of the bathtub.
While we stood there wiping ourselves, he also came in through the door.
I looked in confusion from one to the other, but then the Master who came in
through the door took out a fire hose and washed down the Master next to me
with it.
His appearance melted away like wax on a doll, and a handsome young man stood
next to me instead of the Master.
I left the Master’s farm together with him.
For a long time we walked on an edge between the land and the ocean.
Towards the ocean was a deep fall.
He didn’t say anything, and I was waiting for something to happen.
At some point, we came to some kind of shop, which looked like a cylinder with
a pointed roof.
There was a hatch in the wall, and I put my head in and looked around.
There were all kinds of oddities in there.
The young man said that I could choose what I wanted from there.
For a moment, I was tempted by a mirror that I thought was magical.
I had a feeling that my choice was decisive, and therefore I did not want to take chances because of a mirror.
I pulled out my head again and said that there was nothing I wanted from there.
The young man disappeared, and all of a sudden, I found myself inside a white
castle.
I had been taken there against my will, and when I arrived, a man in a
wheelchair came to inspect me.
He scared me for some reason or other and I recoiled, but he followed me.
I made some hand movements, and he rolled his wheelchair backwards and
disappeared.
Then I was bathed by servants in a big sunken bathtub, which was built in the
middle of a beautiful room.
Then I was dressed up in transparent robes and lined up together with some other girls in similar transparent robes.
I was told that a bride for the prince would be selected from among us.
The prince himself was only a child, and the chosen one had to marry his
substitute who was going to lead the realm until the prince himself became
adult enough to take over both the bride and the realm.
I felt that it was not appropriate for me to become the chosen one, and
wondered how I could make myself ugly.
At that moment, it was announced that the chosen one was found.
A lively talk arose, and I took the opportunity to slip out of the hall.
On my way out, I tiptoed into the substitute’s room.
He was in deep sleep and was a handsome young man, with black curly hair,
finely drawn eyebrows and thick, black, long eyelashes, which rested on his
cheeks.
For a moment, I was sad that I wasn’t the chosen one.
I wondered if I should slip in and see the prince but gave it up, because he
was after all only a child yet.
Suddenly, I found myself in front of the gate leading into the Master’s farm.
My clothes were torn and dirty, and I had a pair of wet socks in my hand.
Tired, I dragged myself across the courtyard.
The Master sat in a corner in the sunshine together with a group of disciples
and he did not react to my return.
I went upstairs to my room, took off my clothes and showered; dressed in a
long, clean, white cotton dress and went down and sat among the other disciples
in front of the Master.
As soon as I sat down, I felt the blessed feeling of the power of the
transmission streaming into me and filling me up.
Tired but satisfied, I closed my eyes and slipped into meditation.
When I woke up, I felt
intuitively that I had had a clairvoyant dream about the future.
I was upset about it, because I believed that it said that at some point
in time I would leave the Master to be together with a young man who looked
like the Master but who wasn’t him.
Then, I would go through a series of hardships and, in the end, return to the
Master in a soiled condition with a pair of wet socks in my hand as a sign of
my mistakes.
I thought it was best to avoid the mistakes and pondered over how to avoid the
dream from coming true, but then realized that I couldn’t figure out how to
avoid something which I didn’t know what was.
THE MASTER’S RADIATION
Reluctantly, we realized that the last of our seven days with the Master had come.
The other group would arrive in the course of the evening, and I looked forward
to seeing them again.
I was in the dining room when I heard them arrive and hurried out to say hello,
but when I came out into the courtyard I stopped, surprised, and I stood still
observing them from far.
A quivering unrest streamed out from them and any desire to go meet them left
me.
Their luggage had just been unloaded from the rickshaws, and they stood a
little inside the gate looking tired and colorless.
The quivering unrest which surrounded them vibrated through the sublime peace that existed on the Master’s farm, and which I had become a part of.
First, when I experienced the contrast, I understood how the Master’s radiation
had affected my state of being.
THE MIRROR OF THE SOUL
When the group had been quartered, we went to the terrace.
I was curious to see which chair I would get, and when I reached there, both the new and the old group were
seated already.
The only chair available was the one opposite the Master.
Happily I sat down and looked at him.
I wanted to do something or the other to show him how grateful I was because I
had met him, but couldn’t think of anything.
Suddenly, he looked straight into my eyes.
I looked into his eyes, which opened to me in a very special way.
It appeared to me as if veil after veil lifted from them, and I looked deeper and
deeper.
I looked and I looked, but no matter how deep I looked, there were still
immeasurable depths to be seen.
It lasted maybe a few seconds, but I was overwhelmed.
It had been like looking into eternity!
DEPARTURE
Somebody whispered to me that our taxi had arrived.
I bent over and said it to the Master with a soft and subdued voice.
We got up to take leave and said goodbye one by one.
When we came back to
SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES
It was strange to
return to my usual surroundings, because they were the same as they were ten
days ago but I had changed.
I often experienced the same condition, which I had had together with the
Master.
When the condition was not there, I tried to bring it forth and discovered
that an efficient means to achieve it was to think of him.
Hence, I made it a
habit to think of how it had been to be together with him, and about what
transpired while I had been there.
I also began reading his books and in one of these it said that what I was
doing is called Constant Remembrance, and that this was one of his suggestions
for training one’s capacity to focus spiritually.
Gradually, as I spoke with other meditating people both from the Master’s
system of meditation and other systems, and at the same time, my capacity to
focus developed, I understood that a person usually selects his/her spiritual
guide for the purpose of achieving his/her own conscious contact with God, but
since it is difficult to focus your attention on something as abstract as the
emptiness in the focus point, which is required to see, hear, feel or sense
God, you can use your chosen guide to create an inner focus point by directing
your thoughts towards this person throughout the day.
However, this is only an advantageous practice if the guide has a capacity
which makes it possible for the disciple to experience God’s qualities in him/her.
THE MASTER’S ANSWER TO A LETTER
Sometimes, I wondered what it actually was that I wanted from the Master.
At one point in time, I had imagined that experiences with extrasensory
phenomenon such as telepathy would satisfy my longing to get an answer to
something that I still did not know what could be, but the extrasensory
experiences that I
had together with the Master had not brought me any closer to my goal, which I
was not aware of what could be either.
Eventually, I decided to write to him that I was frequently seized by doubts
about who he was, what his qualities were, and what his purpose was, and his
answer to this letter was overwhelming, particularly because he didn’t say or
write one word.
At the same time, I became aware that I didn’t have to sit in front of him in
A little more than a week after posting the letter, I got a fever and had to go to bed.
I intuitively felt that my fever-condition was due to the fact that the Master
had received my letter and transmitted to me so powerfully that my physical
system became heated, and therefore I decided to meditate although I had been
told that it was better not to do so during illness.
I was lying in bed
meditating but, suddenly, I felt as if I was sitting up, and that was the first
time I experienced that my body sensation was in another place as compared to
where my physical body was placed.
This made me think that the Master wanted to show me that he had the capacity
to bring me into contact with my astral body.
In the evening, I heard light running steps on the stairs that led up to my bedroom.
I was alone in the house and I listened anxiously.
Suddenly, I sensed that my sister stood in the doorway, invisible to my inner
and outer eye.
She shook in a heart-breaking way and a complaint reached my inner ear:
"I'm freezing, and I am so lonely."
My stomach contracted from compassion.
Without words or thoughts I answered: "Then come and make yourself warm
here by me."
I lifted the cover and felt a light weight of an invisible being, half my size,
lay down next to me.
I wanted to say something but could no longer find out how one communicated
without thoughts or words.
Instead I thought: "Do you want me to come and visit you?"
I did not get an answer, and the feeling of the weight next to me had
disappeared too.
I hoped to attain clarity about the experience by comparing it with her
experience at the same point in time, and so I called her the following day and
asked her what she experienced around that time.
She slept.
In spite of the lack of confirmation from her side, I felt that the Master had
shown me that he had the capacity to establish my communication with other
beings in the inner World in a special way, without the use of words or
thoughts, and yet clearer and more direct than when I expressed myself by the
help of words or thoughts.
In the afternoon, again, I decided to meditate and had a vision of a strange cylindrical object that turned around its own axes while at the same time moving forward in space.
From its North and South Pole ran some kind of tubes
with various colors at the ends.
When it disappeared, my field of vision was filled
with a blue sky with oval openings.
I discovered that the colors of the oval openings imperceptibly changed color
to the tones of a celestial music the likes of which I had never heard before or
since.
"Oh, this must be the music of the spheres," I thought.
Much later, I realized it to be the sound of OM emanating from the Heavenly choir.
The following day, I
had a vision where the extended space was filled with little tiny dots that
moved forward in the sky in perfect formation.
At that time, I did not understand what the Master tried to show me with these two visions and sadly, I wrote in my spiritual journal: "What good does it do me that the Master shows me all of this when I don’t have the capacity to understand what he says to me".
Much later, after my Spiritual Wedding with TuTu had
taken place, I was led into the consciousness of our Cosmic Egg by my groom,
and seen from this perspective, I understood that the Master had indeed
answered my questions as to who he was and what his purpose was by the help of
these experiences.
In the first vision, he had let me experience The Cosmic Eggs seen from the
outside, together with the sound-image which springs from them.
In the second vision, he had shown me the archetypal formation of The Cosmic Eggs.
At that point in time, I also understood that a spiritual aspirant can
experience The Cosmic Eggs from the outside, if he/she can penetrate the
seventh dimension consciously and from the inside if he/she can penetrate the
Absolute consciously.
His answer to my letter had thus been that he was a seventh dimension Master, and as such, he had the capacity to take me into this dimension and this was his purpose.
This conclusion, I felt, was confirmed by the Master himself when I read in one
of his books that his highest approach to the Absolute consisted in seeing the
shell of the Egg from the outside.
When he tried to come closer he felt a powerful jolt, which prevented him from
advancing any further.
SELF-CREATEDMANIFESTED LIMITATIONS
For a long time, there
had been rumors that the Master would come to
My disappointment was so intense that I decided to go to
I took a closer look at my finances and found that it could be done
comparatively easily, and thereby, for the first time, I made the discovery
that many things I did not think possible proved to be so if I began to act as
if they were.
SIGNS FOR MY MEETING WITH TUTU
The second time I was
at the Master’s, I had many dreams and two of them stood clear for several
years thereafter.
In one dream, I was very weak and some people circled around me, worried.
I didn’t think there was any cause for worry as my weakness was a kind of an
act that I put up, because I hoped it would make the Master personally come and
attend to me.
I had the idea that he would only come if I weren't able to do without him, and
therefore, I rejected help from those present who did not understand my
unspoken desire for his presence.
I managed to become so weak that I could let myself
drop lifeless on the floor.
That createdmanifested commotion, and a couple of people tried to get me back on my feet but I made myself heavy and let myself drop on the floor again, and in the end they saw no other solution than to implore the Master to personally to come and see what could be done.
When he came, I had been lifeless for so long that I wasn’t able to get back on my feet even if I wanted to get up to show him my joy about his arrival.
However, with great effort, I managed to whisper: "It is because I love you so much."
My voice was barely audible and I was afraid that he had not heard it, so with
a superhuman effort, I managed to get on my feet and take one staggering step
towards him.
Then my legs carried me no further, and I fell into his arms.
Before I lost consciousness again, I managed to repeat barely audible "It
is because I love you so much."
Later, it would prove that the dream showed the state of confusion and
weakness I was in when TuTu came into my life, and that this was actually the
energy pattern or archetype of The Sleeping Beauty that I experienced in this
context.
MEMORY IMAGE FROM A PREVIOUS INCARNATION
In the second dream, I was on tour with the Master and a group of other disciples who were allowed to follow him on this tour.
He was young and handsome and looked like one of
those colored scraps of Jesus I had seen in my childhood.
His mere presence was a blessing to the places he visited, and it was exciting
to see that even if many people weren’t aware of who he was, they were
attracted to the love and compassion that radiated from him.
On our tour, we made a stop at a small village.
In this village, there was a kind of restaurant, which consisted of a roughly
carved wooden table with roughly carved benches on each side of it.
Soon the interaction between the Master and the local inhabitants began.
I was seized by jealousy when too much time passed by without him giving me
special attention.
Usually, he helped me instantly by sending me a loving glance or by coming up
with a cheerful remark.
When he had done that, I felt reassured and was able to observe his interaction
with the surroundings again.
Once, my jealousy arose
when he was deeply absorbed in a conversation, and he continued with it without
taking my feelings into consideration.
I was out of my mind of restlessness and pain, and I realized that I had to
find a way out of this feeling, but I could not get out of it and became
despondent.
At that moment, he turned his face towards me with a cheerful twinkle in his
eyes, while at the same time, he almost imperceptibly shook his head as if he
wanted to say: "You little fool. You do know that I love you."
I became so happy to discover that he had been aware of what was happening
within me all along that my jealousy vanished and I was able to rejoice in his
interaction with the surroundings again.
Later, this proved to be a memory dream from a previous incarnation that, at
the same time, pointed out what was going to become my most important problem
in my relationship with TuTu.
SUICIDE
It was a common
perception among disciples that the Master could say everything about a person
merely by looking at a photo of the person, and I had brought a photo with me
to
His wife and I had talked a lot about his suicide, and she wanted to write a
letter to the Master, to ask about his destiny after death.
We spoke about it one day when I had just come from a sitting with my
preceptor.
The preceptor had mentioned that one could get answers to spiritual questions
by channeling them up through a certain point on one’s head and then going into
deep meditation, forgetting about the question asked.
I did not think that it was a coincidence that I had got this information on
this very day, and so I suggested to my friend’s wife that I should try to get
an answer for her.
She agreed, and I sat down, asked the question, went into deep meditation and
forgot about it.
During the meditation, I had a vision.
I saw a bright figure in front of a dark house.
Everything was in
darkness, and the house wasn’t visible, but I knew that it was there.
In the distance, far behind it, I saw a whitish gleam.
The bright figure rushed restlessly back and forth in front of the house.
I could see the entrance of the house and did not understand why he did not go
through it so that he could reach the light in the distance, but then I
realized that he could not see the door.
I got an intense desire to help and thought: "There! There!" when he
passed by it.
When my inner eye caught the image, I looked at it with the same detachment as
I would look at a random passer-by in the street.
Then, I remembered my question and it gave a jerk in me.
"Yes, but that is my friend," I thought.
My next thought went to his wife.
"No, I can’t tell her that. She’ll go out of her mind from sorrow, when she
hears it… on the other hand, the purpose of this meditation is, after all, to
get an answer for her, so I have to tell her."
I opened my eyes and told her what I had seen.
To my surprise, she got relieved and said: "How good it was that I didn’t
get around to send a letter to the Master, because it is a totally different
question I want to ask; now that I hear the answer, instead, I want to know
what can be done to help him."
She wrote a letter to the Master and after some time she had a dream, where her
husband smiled at her and seemed to be feeling good, but she wasn’t satisfied
with this result, and we decided that I should take a photo of him to the
Master and ask if anything could be done for him.
The Master looked at the photo for a while and answered that I and his wife
could pray for him and so we did at times until the Master came to
The wife approached him again and asked yet another time for help, and he
answered that she could pray for him.
She said that she had done that.
He became silent for a couple of minutes.
"I will do something," he then said.
Later that evening, I sat in his room together with
some other disciples when his most prominent Indian preceptor entered.
Later on, he turned out to be the Master’s successor as a guide for the
disciples, and therefore, I have chosen to call him the Master’s Crown Prince.
"I have got a suicide case and…" the Master said cheerfully and
reverted into Hindi while he eagerly gesticulated and
explained the case to the Crown Prince.
I was surprised by his cheerfulness because I thought that suicide was a
depressing topic, but he seemed to think that he had got an interesting case,
and now, he wanted to show the Crown Prince how you could handle such a case.
The next day, he summoned my friend’s wife
and said: "I found him in a corner of the Universe. I simply took him and
moved him from one shelf to another. Now I have done something, and now he has
peace."
THE INITIATION TAKES
PLACE
After my second visit
to India, I was convinced that the only thing I really wanted was
Self-realization, about which I did not know anything, but the Master often
spoke about it as the highest good for the disciples, and sometimes I
reproached him in my thoughts that he did not uplift me to this stage
immediately as he had the capacity to do so.
I found it hard to believe when he wrote in his books that he was always eager
to give his associates, as he called the disciples, the highest spiritual
approach as soon as possible.
If that was so, then why didn’t he uplift me to the stage of Self-realization
right now?
One day, I received a
transmission from a preceptor and got a vision of the Master’s face, which was
transparent and covered my whole field of vision.
The hollows of his eyes were empty, and I stood in miniature on the rim of one
eye.
An invisible hand was stretched out towards me and a soundless voice offered me:
“Self-realization NOW?!!”
I felt I had to throw
myself out from his eye into the empty void if I wanted to attain it, but I was
as if frozen in death fear.
"I first have to see what will happen between my boyfriend and me," I
thought.
In that fraction of a second, the vision disappeared.
I was surprised to discover that I was afraid of Self-realization.
After that day, I often tried to do away with my fear by recalling the vision
during contemplation and imagining that I jumped.
Even if I set my willpower up to do it I only succeeded in imagining doing it
once, but this fantasy did not bring about any change in my state of
consciousness.
On the other hand, I became aware that the difference between a fantasy-induced
spiritual experience and a genuine one is that the
genuine one brings forth a change in my state of consciousness and the one
produced by my fantasy gives me information of a different kind about my mind.
DECISION TO TRAVEL
While the Master was in Copenhagen, a desire emerged, to stake everything I’d got to come closer to him, and I decided to do a pilgrimage where I would spend a year together with him but various hindrances arose that restricted my stay in the East to three months, where I would spend one week in the beginning and one week in the end of the journey together with him.
Between the first and the last week of
traveling, I would go into the
My sister wanted to come.
We agreed to travel, five people in all - my sister, her boyfriend, her son, my son and I.
PILGRIMAGE
SIGNS OF THE MAGICAL RING
We left the Master’s
farm and went towards
When we reached into the
After a short stay in
Here, we met a traveling salesman from the West, who showed us a little dull
looking metal lump, which he had hanging in a leather strap around his neck.
He told us that this metal was made in a distant past in the temples and
consisted in an alloy of seventeen metals.
People with knowledge of it would pay high prices to gain possession of just a
little piece, because it was said to possess magical properties and bring luck
to the possessor.
He shone a small corner of the lump, and we saw that the metal shone clearer
than gold and deeper than silver.
We imagined that he tried to sell it and asked the price, but it turned out
that he did not want to sell it.
PSYCHOTROPICA 2
Usually, we took our meals in a small restaurant called Suraj, which means sun.
One day, I spoke to an Irishman there.
I had seen him several times.
Every day, he sat there rolling a joint after his meal, and I felt like smoking
some of the famous Nepalese hemp, but did not know
where one could buy it.
It was a long time since I had smoked hemp, and I
wanted to see if the effect was still confusing.
To get into contact with him I asked what he was doing.
He explained that he was making a joint and asked me if I wanted to smoke, so I took a couple of drags.
I got strongly affected and entered a high and clear altered state of
awareness.
THE OLD MAN OF THE FAIRYTALES
In the course of the
next few days, the Irishman and I spent more and more time in each other’s company,
and every time I took a couple of drags from his joint.
One afternoon, I sat together
with him in silence and looked out through the open doors of the restaurant.
An old man came walking down the path towards us.
He was delicately built and fragile like the Master, and he walked in the same way.
I swallowed him in one glance.
His clothes were poor and worn out, and he looked
tired.
I thought that if he had been the Master I would have helped him by giving him
some money.
Spontaneously, I got
up, went over to him, greeted him reverently with the God-greeting and gave him
all the money that I had in my purse.
When I came back to Suraj, the Irishman asked: "What on Earth did you
do?"
"I gave him all my money."
"Are you crazy?"
"You don’t understand," I said, "but he looked like my
Guru."
The Irishman shook his head, but I was very satisfied with my action because it
was the first time in my life that I acted spontaneously out of pure
generosity.
THE MAGICAL RING
The following morning,
the Irishman, my sister’s son, my son and I sat in the morning sun and
had our breakfast when some traveling Tibetan merchants came over to our table.
The boys had spent a lot of time trading with various merchants, and they had tried to find someone who sold snake rings.
I decided to give them one each and asked the two merchants if they had snake
rings.
They showed us some, which looked like black-spotted old brass rings, but they
had a beautiful form and so the boys wanted
them anyway.
Spontaneously, I bought and paid for three rings
without negotiating the price.
One I bought for myself, and wondered why I had bought
it.
The Irishman bought a beautiful silver ring, asked me to receive it and put it
on my finger.
With this, I felt that our relationship was sealed with a ring of love like it
is commonly done in the West.
We went down the path, and the boys were talking between themselves some
distance behind us.
Suddenly, my son came up with an exclamation and he came running to us.
They had started shining their rings, and my son showed us that they shone
clearer than gold and deeper than silver.
When we parted from the Irishman, we began to
shine the rings all over, also the snake’s eye pits
that were no larger than pinheads, and then we went out into the sun to let it
shine on them.
The rings shone with a mysterious brilliance and a pencil of rays stood out
from each eye.
"Yesterday I helped an old man, and today we come into possession of a
magical ring which was made from seventeen
metals," I said, "that makes me think of the fairytales from my
childhood, where an old man comes out of the forest in need of help. If someone
helps, the person receives a magical present."
It turned out that only I got the full benefit from
this gift of power.
Neither my son nor my sister’s son had acquired that type of attention which is
required to spot that side of Reality which contains gifts of power.
THE HEALING POWERS OF THE MAGICAL RING
Late in the afternoon, I went up to Suraj to drink tea, and there I met the cook’s wife who carried her sick baby on her arm.
The family had been to the doctor and to the hospital but nothing helped.
I caressed the baby, who took a firm grip of my hand
and turned it while his lips sought down it.
He found the snake ring and began sucking it.
Gradually, he straightened up, and his feverish eyes
appeared to me to be more normal when he let go of the ring.
"He seems to be better now!?" I asked.
The mother nodded and looked warmly at me.
When I left from there, I looked for the boys to tell them what I had experienced
and that apparently it wasn’t just a mind game that we had come into possession
of a magical ring.
In the course of the next couple of days, the baby got completely well, and the
mother’s face became soft when she looked at me.
THE OLD WOMAN OF THE FAIRYTALES
The next day, I went for a walk and noticed that I felt differently than I used to.
I walked down the path and felt a special communion with the people, the water
buffaloes, the birds, the spiders in their webs, the flowers, the plants and
the trees.
When I walked back towards Suraj, I spotted the old
woman whom I had met one of the first days of
my visit.
She had asked me for a cigarette and a rupee, and it had become a ritual
between us that she got a cigarette and a rupee from me every day.
She leaned towards a post and held on to her
stomach with a face distorted from pain.
I ran the last stretch up to her.
Tears welled up in my eyes when I asked: "Whatever happened to you?"
"Oh... huh… have pain," she groaned
in broken English.
"I don’t know if the ring works or not, but it doesn’t do any harm to
try," I thought.
"Is it here it hurts?" I asked, while at the same time, I put the
ring against her solar plexus center.
At that moment, a prayer went through my head on its own accord: "Oh
Babuji, help this being in agony."
Babuji was the pet name
of the Master.
As the prayer passed through my head, it felt as if my head opened up above my
eyebrows and the whole way around and so the top of my head opened, and a
pillar of light gushed up.
At the same time, wave after wave of bliss rushed through me.
The old woman’s face became calm.
She seized my hand, lifted it to her third eye and pressed the snake ring
against it, stood like that for a moment with eyes closed, let go of my hand,
looked calmly at me and said: "You doctor,"
greeted me with the God-greeting and left.
I looked around.
My eyesight had expanded.
It appeared to me as if I had lost focus, and that made it possible for me to
see a wide-angle picture of the surroundings, while at the same time, I saw
every person, every water buffalo, every tree, every house and every movement
in the landscape.
I saw the totality and the individuality at the same time.
My hearing had changed in the same way as my eyesight.
I heard the total sound-image and every sound by itself.
I heard the music of Reality from the unfolding of
life around me.
It was like a symphony, an undulating movement of sound that no piece of music
could match.
I was full of wonder
about this elevated state that came into being when an intense desire arose in
me to help the old woman.
Yet another time, I had to think of the fairytales saying that the person who
helps an old man or an old woman in need receives a magical present.
THE INFORMATIVE POWERS OF THE MAGICAL RING
The Irishman and I had once visited a
Danish journalist couple who lived in a hut near the lake, but now they had
taken up a room at Suraj because some of their Danish friends had come back
from
One evening, a girl from the Danish group was missing and I asked where she
was.
She was ill, and they feared the worst because she had a fierce attack of
diarrhea.
I went up the hencoop ladder to her room.
"Where does it hurt," I asked.
She lifted the cover and pointed to her belly.
"Is it here?" I said, intuitively putting the snake ring to her belly
at the same time.
She nodded.
Names of various food items and a glass of freshly squeezed grapefruit juice
went through my mind when the ring got in contact with her stomach.
"Have you had something to eat?" I asked.
She shook her head: "I can’t eat anything."
"You ought to eat something. Maybe you could eat these things?”
I listed that, which had gone through my head.
She nodded: "Yes I can eat that."
"Good, then I’ll go down to the kitchen to order it," I said.
The next day, I met her in the restaurant and was told that she became well again after she ate.
SELF-CENTEREDNESS
The word got around
that something special was going on with me, and one day, a Nepalese woman with
her baby on her arm came to me together with the old man.
The children, with whom I used to play five-stones games, usually crowded
around me when I showed up, and now they translated in broken English what the
old man said.
They explained that the woman swung her baby around in a fit of temper and the
baby had become so scared that she cried now when anybody approached her, and
therefore the mother had given her a bonnet with a big flounce to wear so she
couldn’t see when anybody approached her.
The mother herself was unable to speak.
We sat down on the ground and the children and a group of local people gathered
around us.
Intuitively, I turned my hand with the snake ring so it sparkled in the sun,
and when one of the rays hit the baby’s eye, she stopped crying, and I
stretched out my hand to touch her.
A whisper went through the crowd, and I became aware that I was doing something
extraordinary and was momentarily shaken by self-centeredness as if it was me
who personally caused this healing.
Thereby, I was
seized by fear of doing something ridiculous, sitting here and playing healer
by the help of a ring which was probably quite an ordinary ring when all came
down to it.
I shook off my self-centeredness.
The baby seized my hand, lifted it to her mouth and began sucking the ring, and
when she let go of my hand, we sat quietly for a little while.
Then, I put one hand around the neck of the mother and my other hand with the
snake ring intuitively at one point on her throat.
I looked at her in confusion, but followed the impulse, which sprang from the
ring touching her throat, and said that there was nothing the matter with her.
She should just speak.
She didn’t say anything.
I thought that she did
not understand what I said and got one of the children to translate it to her.
The child explained it to her and then said to me that it wasn’t because she
did not want to speak.
She was not able to.
For the second time, I got self-centered and began wondering what I was
actually doing, sitting here telling a sick woman that she should speak without
knowing if she came to harm if she tried.
This time, I did not manage to shake off my self-centeredness and fled to my
hotel to recover.
I dropped off to sleep, and after a couple of hours I woke up and went up the
path to Suraj.
The old woman waited for me together with the mother who carried her baby on
her arm.
The mother greeted me respectfully and said something in Nepalese.
The old woman said: "She thanks you."
Tears of gratitude welled up in my eyes because she
spoke now, and because I had not harmed her.
I looked at the baby who sat on her mother’s arm without the bonnet and
understood that the mother thanked me for the baby’s healing.
The old woman and I lit a cigarette and smoked in silence.
When I was about to leave, she put her hands on my shoulders and looked
affectionately at me.
"You, my daughter," she said.
ATTACHMENT
One afternoon, a
Nepalese woman came to me and pointed to the snake ring and then to herself.
The children were as usual flocking around me and they explained that she wanted my ring.
I said that I couldn’t
give it away because it belonged to me for special reasons.
Afterwards, I became sad because I felt that my action was contrary to the
power of the ring.
Why had I not given her the ring?
I went down to sleep for a couple of hours and when I woke up, it felt as if
the snake ring was not on my finger.
Feverishly I lifted my hand and saw that it was still there, but now I
understood that I was more attached to the ring than was good for me.
We were moving on toward
That very moment, it felt as if the snake ring slid off
my finger.
With a jerk I pulled my hand back and looked at it, frightened.
The ring was still there.
It was the second time I experienced a feeling of the ring disappearing and
wondered what was going on.
It suddenly appeared to me that I had to give the ring to the first person
who asked for it.
I shook my head, but since then, frequently, I caught myself skip shining the
ring every day, which I had to if it should not lose its brilliance.
THE ARRIVAL AT THE HOTEL OF
BLISS
As soon as we reached
He gave us a sitting, and afterwards, he said that I had taken in an unusual
amount of impressions, and so cleaning was needed.
After the sitting, we found a hotel in the same area of the city.
The hotel was called Anand Hotel, and that means The Hotel of Bliss.
My sister, her boyfriend and her son shared one room, and my son and I another.
The hotel had a big open terrace in front of my sister’s room, and mostly we had our breakfast together there.
The day after our arrival, I told the Crown Prince that I was disappointed to
hear that I needed cleaning, because I had had the impression that I had
achieved a spiritual elevation in
He said that it was correct, but at the same time, I had taken in many
impressions which had to be cleaned out.
THE PALM LEAF ARCHIVES
One day, I managed to
get access to the Palm Leaf Archives, which were found in this city.
I heard about these archives at the Master’s farm.
They were said to be spread out all over
The Master believed in them, and therefore I was curious about them and wanted
to visit them, but I did not know where they were to be found.
The father of the Crown Prince mentioned them one day, and it turned out that
he had the address for that part of the archive which was found in
I looked forward to seeing if my palm leaf was there after giving my date of
birth and seeing the archivist disappearing to the backroom of the place.
After some time, he came back with a small bundle that looked like broad
ice-cream sticks, but which were compressed palm leaves covered with writing in
Old Tamil.
He said that now he would find out if I was the right person who fitted these
palm leaves’ description.
He looked ahead of himself, began chanting and then asked: "Did your first
Guru come from your own country?"
I had not thought of my sister’s husband as my Guru, but actually it was he who
had revived my spiritual life and inspired me to embark on the path I was on
now.
He went on chanting and asked: "Is your father’s and mother’s name the
same?"
That I had not thought
of earlier either, because I was used to just calling my parents mother and
father.
When then he asked if their names were a religious designation, I surrendered
to believing that indeed these archives contained information about me.
He asked me about other things from my life too, but
that did not impress me so much, because this information was from those areas
of my life which did not take me by surprise.
In the end, he chanted: "Then let it be justified that this person is the
person who is described on these leaves."
Before we began, he had asked me what I wanted to know, and I had said that I
would like to know how my spiritual life and my love life would develop in the
future.
He now translated those pages into English and said that in the beginning of my
fifties my inborn melancholy would leave me.
From the middle of my fifties, I would get continuous visions of my Guru and
God, and in this life itself I would achieve my spiritual goal.
My husband would come from another country south of my own, and his name would
be the name of a king.
I would meet him very soon, maybe tomorrow, but at the latest within a year,
and he would take well care of me.
FIRST MEETING WITH TUTU
A few days later, I played chess with my sister one evening and it was late before I got up to go to my own room.
When I came out into the hall, my son was talking with a young man and it
turned out that he also came from
I joined them, and it turned out that the Dane just arrived from
We talked about our experiences, and the conversation slid into spiritual
topics.
The Dane spoke in enthusiastic terms about a man who lived in
They met each other in
Every time we came across a spiritual issue that he had difficulties taking a stand on, he said that the Indian would not only be able to give a better answer than he could but also a better answer than I, because he felt that the answers I had found were lacking.
I got irritated because I felt he covered himself behind this Indian all of the
time, but my curiosity was aroused, and the following morning when we had our
brunch on the terrace, the Dane came together with
the Indian to pay us a visit.
He was a handsome young man with glittering eyes that
had an expression of cheerfulness and a depth,
which I, until then, only had seen in the Master.
The Dane flung out his hand and introduced him with the words: "The king
of the Universe."
I threw a fast glance at him to see if he was joking, but he looked at the
Indian with an expression of seriousness and adoration, and I concluded that
the Indian was his Guru.
The Indian introduced himself as Harishchandra, and later it turned out that
his holy name was TuTu.
A person's holy name is a designation of his/her spiritual condition, and I
have chosen to use this name for him where it is possible without disturbing
the context.
He wrote it himself in two ways, either as 22 or as
TuTu, which was his personal preference of the English ‘Two-Two’.
They sat down at our table, and soon we were all spellbound by TuTu, who told us about his stay in the mountains, where a holy man gave him a pilgrim’s staff which had an expanding effect on his consciousness.
At some point in time however, the staff had served its purpose in his life,
and it glided away from him down a river he was bathing in.
He thought that this type of power objects had to
go on to others when they had served their purpose, and was glad that now it
went on to somebody else who needed it.
I looked at the snake ring on my finger and was
relieved to think that if I had to pass it on, it would be because it
had served its purpose in my life.
He talked about spirals and reversed spirals, about time and its dissolution
into its opposite, but I did not understand
what he was talking about.
Anyway, I was spellbound listening to him, and when
he came to a point he found particularly funny, he laughed out loud in a charming childlike way.
He told us that he left his home with a few
rupees in his pocket to go up into the
Sometimes, he lacked the daily necessities, and
sometimes, he got help from unexpected sources.
He was convinced that this happened when he moved through Reality in the right
way.
TUTU’S EGO DEATH
On a foggy night on his
way to
He was walking alone on the road and for no reason he was seized by fear, and
in his agony, he walked and walked.
At some point in time, it became clear to him that it was not he who felt this
fear but his ego.
He had some visions, and when they stopped, he
became completely calm and understood that he had passed through the ego death.
As soon as this experience was over, he spotted a
house but was not sure whether to enter it or not as the people inside might
get scared if he knocked on their door in the middle of the night to ask for
shelter.
At that moment, he spotted a Tulsi plant outside the house.
His mother’s name was Tulsi, and when he saw the plant, he knew that he could knock
the door.
He did and was well received.
I looked suspiciously at him, because when he claimed that he had passed through the ego death, in actual fact, he had to be a Self-realized spiritual Master, and then, in my eyes, he ought to be way more ascetic than he was.
On the other hand, I had been drowning in The White Light while he spoke, just
like it sometimes happened when the Master transmitted to me.
At first, I thought that it was the Master, who, for some reason or another,
had chosen to transmit to me from Shahjahanpur just now, but then it occurred
to me that maybe the transmission came from TuTu.
I decided to try to find out, and when he and
the Dane got up to leave, I said: "Thank you for the transmission," and looked
excited at him to see if he would look
surprised or ask "What transmission?" but
he flung his head back and laughed out loud: "You're welcome."
Showers of The White Light poured down on me,
uplifting and intoxicating me.
I was completely taken in by his free laughter, his soft voice and his
glittering and brilliant eyes, but I was shaken to my core.
I had believed that only the Master and his preceptors were able to give
transmissions of the White Light, but now I had met one more person who was able
to.
TRAVELING PLANS
Halfway, I had expected the Irishman to
turn up in
Before we separated in Pokhara, he had told me that he came to Pokhara with a
friend in an old green van, and suddenly the friend had turned up and insisted on leaving immediately.
The Irishman and I said goodbye.
He and his friend planned on going to
However, I did not know that at this point of time, and I had decided to go to
I imagined that there was a short stretch in Goa where Westerners met each
other just like in Pokhara, because I often heard the sentence: "We meet
in Goa," among Westerners, and I could not imagine that one would have a
casual arrangement like that without having a limited
area to meet up.
I had bought an air ticket to
I had to start two days later, but after TuTu
and the Dane left, I went into my room and thought about the issue.
For some reason or other I had lost my desire to travel.
SECOND MEETING WITH TUTU
The next evening, the Dane and TuTu came to visit us again while we had our dinner on the terrace, and we invited them to join us.
After dinner, the conversation soon entered spiritual issues and TuTu told us
that his spiritual elevation had begun already before he went further up the
mountains.
On his way, he had passed through Manipur and had made a stop there.
One day, he meditated and saw a White Light before his inner eye.
The experience was very powerful, and afterwards he had a splitting headache.
I remembered my first transmission from the preceptor, where I saw The White
Light too, and I also had a splitting headache when I left from there.
He continued by sharing about small and big
events during his journey but soon his words passed by my ear as a soft rising
and falling, while shower after shower of White Light poured down on me and
drowned me in bliss.
It was late before they got up to leave.
"We’ll be back one of these days," TuTu said.
"I am not here the next few days. I go to
"When will you be back?"
"Tuesday."
"Ok, we’ll meet Tuesday evening then," he said.
CONVERSATION IN THE BATH
The next morning, I went out into the common bathroom for women and my sister joined me.
While showering, she said: "You… eh… that Indian
guy… let him be. He is too young and inexperienced, and an experienced woman
like you can twist him around your little finger much too easily. I feel sorry
for him if you only play with his feelings, because I take it that you’re not
interested in involving yourself?"
TuTu was twenty-one, and I was thirty-three.
"I don’t know. You never know."
I stared thoughtfully ahead of myself.
Apparently, she had observed something about him and me, which I myself wasn’t
aware of yet.
"What about the Irishman?" she asked surprised.
"I don’t know. It’s difficult to say."
By now I completely regretted my decision about going to
PASSING ON OF THE MAGICAL RING
When I arrived in
I did not know which direction to take but
spotted a group of Westerners in colorful clothes in a small square.
I told them my problem and said that I was looking for two Irishmen in a green
van.
One of them said that a Goan would come in a moment, and he knew where all
foreign cars were to be found in
A moment later, the man turned up, and he suggested that we went to a nearby
café and talked it over.
I told him my problem, and he said that it was too
late in the day to go looking for the green van which he knew very well as to
where it was.
He told me that it was Christmas time, and therefore it wasn’t possible to get
a hotel room, but he had some friends who had a hotel on the outskirts of town,
so he would take me there for the night and quarter me in their private domain,
and then we could go the following day.
There was something smooth and businesslike about him, which made me feel
unsafe, but I didn’t feel I had any choice other than
surrendering to the mercy of fate, and I agreed.
"What kind of ring is it you have there?" he asked pointing to the
snake ring.
"Oh, it is one I bought in
"Was it expensive?"
"No, it only cost a few rupees."
"If you had two, I would ask you to give me one of them," he said.
My heart sank.
The impossible had happened.
Slowly, I took off the ring and pushed it across the table.
"You can have it," I said in a low tone of voice.
It glittered and sparkled on his little finger.
He got up and said that he had to pick up a scooter so he could take me to the
hotel.
He disappeared, and I went out and sat down on the square to wait for him.
The ring had left me at the worst possible moment.
I was alone in a foreign town and I did not believe
that the Goan would return.
When I carried the ring, I felt protected.
I felt more and more defenseless as time passed, and when half an hour had passed, I began crying.
After crying for a while, I found it absurd that I was sitting here crying
about the loss of the ring.
I turned my thoughts towards the Master, and slowly I came at ease and slid
into meditation.
The meditation ran out, and the Goan came back on a scooter and took me to his
friends.
AGAINST ALL ODDS
The following day, the Goan did not come back, and I took a
bus that went along the many beaches in
I found the green van, which the Goan talked about, but it belonged to a young European couple.
I made friends with the bus driver, and in the end, when I gave up finding the
Irishman, he said that I could live in his home, where his mother and his
sister would care well for me until I had to go back to
I said that I wanted to go back immediately and asked him to show me where I
could change my air ticket.
He shook his head and said that it wasn’t possible to get a plane out of
It wasn’t open yet, but there was already a long
queue outside it.
Against all odds, I joined the queue.
The ticket office opened and people pushed their way in.
After another half an hour I reached the office.
Every time a person reached the counter, the clerk said: "No, there are no
seats available today. Next."
When I reached, the clerk looked at me, annoyed: "Yes?"
"I would like to go back to
"There are no seats today…" he stopped,
looked at me again and then said: "Well… let
me see."
He disappeared for a moment and came back: "Yes, there is just one seat
left. Let me see your ticket.”
A moment later, he came back with it stamped ‘ok’.
THE LOVE RING
It was
I was looking forward to meeting the Dane the next morning but he had moved out
of the hotel.
I was disappointed
because I did not know how to meet TuTu again if he did not come to visit the
Dane.
It felt like a waste of precious time to wait till
Tuesday to see him.
I was surprised that my emotions were so intense and over some unusual thoughts
that emerged.
I thought that until now I had been incarcerated in the cage of time, and
presently the time-cage had finally lifted and allowed him whom I had been
waiting for to step into my time-space sphere.
When I saw his delicately built, slim, almost feminine figure again, I wondered why I
had yearned so intensely for this moment.
He came Tuesday evening, and we all went out and sat down in the moonlight on
the terrace where he entertained us, and around
"Did you have your purposes with your trip
served?" he asked.
I told him that I did not meet the Irishman, and as I wanted to show him that
my relationship with the Irishman was over, I took off the love ring and gave
it to him.
"This is a special ring," I said, "It is a love ring. The
Irishman gave it to me, but I don’t want to be tied to him anymore. You can
have it, so if you want to tie a woman to you in love,
you can give it to her."
"I wear no jewelry" he said, "but I’ll take it home and have it
with me."
One day, we were out driving around in the city on a motorbike, and he told me
that now he had found the woman whom he wanted to tie to himself in love, and
therefore he had decided to give her the ring.
My heart sank.
He took the ring out and gave it to me.
Happily I received it.
A TEST
One afternoon, he casually said to me: "What is wrongdoing?"
In spite of the casual tone in his gentle voice, everything in me went into red
alert together with a feeling that my answer was decisive.
I mused and got the topic narrowed down to theft and murder, but was it always
wrong to take something that did not belong to
me?
It depended on whether the owner had thrown it away.
Was it always wrong to take another person’s life?
It depended on whether it happened as an accident in a situation, where I
defended my own life.
I thought and I thought, but could not think of
anything which was wrong through and through.
"I don’t know," I answered.
"Don’t you know what is right and wrong," he asked in his usual
gentle voice but with an undertone that made me squirm.
"No," I said stiffly, "it depends on the circumstances."
He laughed aloud with delight and threw his arms around me, looking at me
tenderly, and thereby I got the feeling that I had accomplished some kind of
achievement and I found it fortunate that I had thought so deeply before I answered.
TUTU’S TASK
One day, TuTu told me that he had seen me in the afternoon sitting on the stone-step in front of the hotel the day before we met.
I looked melancholically ahead of myself.
He had pointed to me and said to the Dane: "Look at that woman sitting
there. She is sad, and I have to help her with something or the other."
I got irritated.
What a conceited guy.
Was he together with me because he thought that I was a poor wretch he had to
help with something or the other?
On the other hand it might be true?
I could not deny that slowly I had begun to take up
the Dane’s viewpoint that TuTu was some kind of spiritual teacher.
He was very young, but it wasn’t the first time that a very young person
exposed spiritual qualities beyond the usual.
1001 NIGHT’S ADVENTURES
My being together with
him made me feel like a princess from 1001 Night’s Adventures who had slept
alone enclosed in a room while she dreamt about her beloved, who in the end
came flying through time and space on a winged unicorn to wake her up by his magical
arrival.
I was so impressed by
the feelings that arose in me in his company that I said to my sister one day:
"This is too good to be true. The abundance which comes to my lot is so
much that I fear the envy of even the Gods"
In the same way, on
other occasions, words streamed out of my mouth which took me by surprise.
One day, when TuTu and I were on our way to the beach in a rickshaw, I turned
towards him and exclaimed: "If people can’t see
that you are a king, even if you don’t wear a king’s garment, they are
completely blind."
And then I added: "Your Majesty, my king."
"My Goddess," he said.
I wanted to answer by addressing him with the words: "My God," but my
childhood’s image of God surfaced and prevented the words from coming across my
lips, so it was only much later that I came to understand how much truth was
hidden in those words.
Another day, I exclaimed: "I have been looking for you in all the Worlds, and just think that we were to meet here on this little piece of dust in the Universe called the Earth in the year of the Lord 1977. Who would have believed that?"
These statements mystified me and made me think that there was some part of my consciousness knowing something, which the rest of me did not know, but it turned out that everything came to light.
THE END OF THE PILGRIMAGE
Our time in
Before our return to
When we arrived at the ashram, I decided to go back to
He looked surprised at me: "Don't you want to participate in this… eh… celebration?"
I felt ashamed and looked down: "No, I’m leaving tomorrow."
He nodded and did not say anymore, and the day after,
both the boys and I were on our way back to
My sister and her boyfriend wanted to stay, and we were to meet in
The few days we spent in
My pilgrimage was over.
THE 22
DOCTRINE 2
THE SIXTH DIMENSION
____________________________________________________________________
THE BRIDGE
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
THE MASCULINE:
THE MENTAL
Contents part 1 Contents
part 2 Contents part 3
Contents part 4
Contents part 5
THE PRINCIPLES
THE SECOND COMING OF JESUS CHRIST
During my first visit
at the Master’s, when I saw an image of Jesus on the cross come and go in my
mind’s eye, I wondered what the Master had to do with Jesus, but I brushed it
aside by thinking that he cleansed an impression from my own culture out of my
mind even though I didn’t remember when it was createdmanifested.
One day, I heard from one of the Master’s disciples that the Master had taken
on the responsibility for the disciples of Jesus for a period, but secretly
that made me think that he had to suffer from self-aggrandizement, although I could
not make it fit with my other impressions of him.
Gradually, as my
interaction with TuTu developed, I came to believe that the cleansed impression
did not stem from my own culture but was almost two thousand years old and
it sprang from the pain I felt as the thirteenth
disciple Mary Magdalene, when I witnessed the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.
I also came to believe that it was necessary that the Master took on the responsibility for the disciples of Jesus for a period, because Jesus himself took on a life on Earth which demanded all of his attention, and that TuTu was the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.
It is said about Jesus that when he comes back he will bear the name The King of Truth.
TuTu was born on
He bore the name Harishchandra, which is the name of The King of Truth in
Indian mythology.
GOD’S WISH
For daily use, he was
called by the first two syllables of his name, Harish.
Har means Wish and Ish means God.
Put together it means God’s Wish.
TuTu called himself the reluctant Messiah, because it was not the achievement
of a personal desire which necessitated that he accepted to live through those
sufferings that came to his lot but a life he took on according to God’s wish
to carry out a specific task, like it was the case for Jesus too.
THE FATHER AND THE SON
Jesus said that God the Father is found in Heaven and God the Son on Earth, and that the father and the son are one.
TuTu called Heaven for the God Realm or the eighth dimension and Earth for the third.
He explained that God the Father is to be found in the eighth dimension
– the Spirit plane, and God the Son is to be found in the third
dimension – the physical plane, but that they are one and the same
individual consciousness that comes to expression in two different
dimensions – a man and his Spirit, and they are thus one and the same
consciousness in two different forms of expression.
THE HOLY SPIRIT
The last part of TuTu’s
personal name was Chandra, which means Moon.
In mythology, the moon represents the feminine principle - the emotional, and
the sun represents the masculine principle - the mental, and his full personal
name can thus be translated to – God’s wish: The feminine principle.
TuTu also explained that in every human being, whether man or woman, the
emotions reflect the light of the thoughts, like the moon reflects the light of
the sun.
Jesus taught about the masculine principle God the Father and God the Son and
came back as Harishchandra to complete this work by teaching about the feminine
principle Goddess the Mother and Goddess the Daughter.
TuTu explained that Jesus veiled the feminine principle under the name The Holy
Spirit, because humankind at that time needed to step out of the flock
mentality by the help of the masculine principle.
The Holy Spirit is thus the veiled feminine principle Goddess the Mother and
Goddess the Daughter, who is the woman and her Spirit that is one and the
same consciousness expressing herself in two different dimensions, and whom God
now wishes to unveil and thereby place the masculine and the feminine in their
right places, side by side, on an equal footing.
HIERARCHY AND FELLOWSHIP
Further, TuTu explained
that on Earth, the masculine principle represents the mental plane, the
individuality and the hierarchy, and the feminine principle represents the
emotional plane, the unity and the Fellowship.
The mental plane is
different for everybody irrespective of gender and life circumstances, and the
emotional plane is the same for all irrespective of gender and life
circumstances.
Humankind has now
stepped out of the flock mentality by the help of the hierarchy, and in that
way achieved the respect for the individual, and therefore time is ripe to
achieve unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy for the individual by the help of the
Fellowship.
TO SEPARATE THE SHEEP FROM THE
GOATS
In the Bible, the
disciples have written that when Jesus comes back, he will sit at the right
hand side of God the Father, separate the sheep from the goats and then pass
judgment on them.
Those who are ready will follow him to the
TuTu said that the people will
themselves choose if they want to stand either by his right hand side or by his left hand
side, and thus they will themselves pass the judgment on themselves.
Those that are goats will choose to stand by his left hand side and those that
are sheep will choose to stand by his right hand side.
The place by his left hand side belongs to God the Father, and the place by his
right hand side belongs to his Spirit Mate, his other half, his Eternal Beloved.
Those who stand by his left hand side express in that way their desire for God
the Father’s place and thus their desire for the power and the glory, but that
is not due to them.
Those who stand by his right hand side express in that way their desire for his
Eternal Beloved’s place and thus their desire for the unconditional love, care,
compassion and mercy, and that is due to them.
THE JUDGEMENT
Those who wish to take God the Father’s place wish to take a place which no human
being is able to fill in and any attempt to do so is
therefore due to lack of discernment.
As written in the Bible, people who lack this
discernment, fornicate with the great harlot, whom the disciples called
TuTu called the great
harlot prestige and said that these people think they can have their
desire for the power and the glory fulfilled by the help of the great
harlot.
They court the favor of the
harlot by acquiring all the riches of the Earth, but the riches do not
belong to them, and in that way they become robbers and assaulters,
although they are dressed in gold and purple.
All the riches of the Earth are Mother Earth’s gift to all of her children, but
in their insanity those who fornicate with the harlot, rape their own mother,
the Earth, to acquire more and more.
As a result of these actions, they will be thrown into the lake of fire, which
consists of the great pain in their innermost heart, because they cannot hear
the desire of their heart.
In the lake of fire, they learn to discern their innermost heart’s desire from
all other desires.
Only when they honestly admit their human
limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality
and act accordingly, they achieve the power of discernment that whispers in
their ear that the only thing their innermost heart desires is to give and
receive the unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy.
Those who desire his Eternal Beloved’s place show
that they are ready to receive the unconditional love, care, compassion
and mercy, and thereby they show, as written in the
Bible, that they have the wedding garment on, and therefore they shall follow
him to the
They will do this as groom’s swains and bride’s maids to participate in his Spiritual
Wedding with his other half, and this means
that they acknowledge and pick up the message that
the Spiritual Wedding exists, and pass it on.
When they themselves reach the point where,
consciously, they are able to enter the seventh dimension, they know that soon
they are going to stand in front of God's Holy Altar, to enter into their own
Spiritual Wedding with their own Eternal Beloved, who will give them the
unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy, and to whom they will give the
same, and in their joy and anticipation they sing songs of praise about his
Spiritual Wedding together with the Heavenly Choir as written in the Bible.
GOD THE FATHER AND GODDESS THE MOTHER
TuTu explained further that God the Father holds the power of creation and Goddess the Mother holds the power of manifestation.
The creationmanifestation took place as a result of the love between the power of creation and
the power of manifestation.
In the third dimension, this comes to expression when
the man’s seed that holds the power of creation and the woman’s egg that holds
the power of manifestation merge, and in this way, new life and new movement is
also brought into the World as a result of the love between the two.
The power of creation is the
unmanifest, the invisible and the darkness, and the power of
manifestation is the manifest, the visible and the light that streams
out from the Soul Plane, the seventh dimension.
In the individual human being, the presence of God the Father can be
observed as the Spirit of the Soul or the oneness and the presence of
Goddess the Mother can be observed as Soul of the Spirit or the
individuality.
SELF-REALIZATION AND
GOD-REALIZATION
Self-realization means
to make oneself real to oneself, and God-realization means to make God real to
oneself.
At its highest vantage point, Self-realization and God-realization is one and
the same, but the achievement of the highest vantage point consists in a
process involving various stages, where a person gradually realizes his/her
multidimensional existence.
A person who
exclusively perceives his/her existence in the third dimension as real and
therefore acts in accordance with this achieves his/her perception of Reality
by attaching himself or herself to people, animals, plants and material things in the third dimension.
To such a person, God is either a hope that maybe there is more between heaven
and earth or a fantasy that other people have for various reasons.
A person who perceives
his/her existence in both the third and the fourth dimension as real and
therefore acts in accordance with this achieves his/her perception of Reality
by also attaching himself/herself to his/her and others’ need for time and
space as well as his/her own and others’ movements through space over time,
besides the attachments to the third dimension.
To such a person, God is either a hope to personally
experience a miracle, something which is in opposition to the generally
accepted facts in the third dimension, or despondency because of the lack of miracles
in his/her own life, but TuTu said that such a person need not despair and
added: "Don’t hope for a miracle. Count on it."
A person who perceives
his/her existence in the third, the fourth and the fifth dimension as real and
therefore acts in accordance with this achieves his/her perception of Reality by
also attaching himself/herself to his/her own and others’ emotional life,
besides the attachments to the third and fourth dimension.
To such a person, God
is either a merciful but inexplicable power whose paths are incomprehensible,
or a threatening force that can crush all hopes to punish the person in
question for known or unknown trespasses.
A person who perceives his/her existence in the
third, the fourth, the fifth and the sixth dimension as real and therefore acts
in accordance with this achieves his/her perception of Reality by also
attaching himself/herself to his/her own and others’ thought life, besides the
attachments to the third, fourth and fifth dimension.
To such a person, God
is a rational being who acts for reasons that might appear incomprehensible to
the person but because the motives of God spring from a desire for the most
advantageous for each and all, life as it transpires has to be accepted,
because there are good reasons behind the happenings that the person will
probably come to understand at some point in life.
A person who perceives
his/her existence in the third, the fourth, the fifth, the sixth and the
seventh dimension as real and therefore acts in accordance with this achieves
his/her perception of Reality by also attaching himself/herself to love, care,
compassion and mercy, besides the attachments to the third, fourth, fifth and
sixth dimension.
To such a person, God
is a loving, caring, compassionate and merciful Being who acts with a loving,
caring, compassionate and merciful intention for all, and therefore such a
person has to receive both life’s pains and joys as an expression of God’s
gifts of love, and at the highest vantage point of this stage, the person in
question achieves his/her individual and personal Self-realization, which
consists in realizing: "I am God."
Through this realization, the person slowly realizes that not only he/she is God, but that everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence is God, and as a result of this realization, the person slowly achieves his/her universal and impersonal Self-realization, which consists in realizing: "Everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence is God.”
Therefore, such a person perceives his/her own impulses and his/her interactions with everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence as his/her continuous conversation with God.
A person who perceives
his/her existence in the third, fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh dimensions as
well as the Absolute, the eighth dimension as real and therefore acts in accordance with this
achieves his/her perception of Reality by also attaching himself/herself to
God, besides the attachments to the third, fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh
dimension.
For such a person, God is the Eternal Beloved, the Only One, and when such a person connects himself/herself to another human being of the opposite gender who is the Only One for him/her, he/she slowly gets to know God’s unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy through his/her own unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy for his/her beloved and through his/her beloved’s unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy for himself/herself.
Some thought that their one and only was of the same gender as themselves, but TuTu said that to be able to move from the seventh dimension into the Absolute, all the assumed forms of identity had to be shed.
He explained that some of us chose our other half, our Eternal Beloved, from the same gender as we ourselves have, because a masculine soul could take on a female body and vice versa so as to fulfill specific purposes in life and therefore it might happen that we found our Eternal Beloved in a form with the same gender as ourselves.
When these purposes have been fulfilled and the life goal has become to enter the Absolute, such Souls take their rightful gender so as to be able to enter the Absolute.
OUR MULTIDIMENSIONAL BEING
To illustrate our multidimensional existence a graph is found below that links our life experiences together with the dimensions.
The green circle in
this graph is supposed to illustrate
our physical life,
and that is
referred to as our
third dimensional life.
The blue circle illustrates our
life in
space and time, and that is
referred to as our fourth
dimensional life
The red circle illustrates
our emotional life,
and that is referred to as
our fifth dimensional
Life
The yellow circle illustrates
our thought life,
and that is referred to as
our sixth dimensional
life.
The orange circle illustrates
our thought-free
mental life, and
that is also referred to as
our sixth dimensional
life
The violet circle
illustrates our
social life, and
that is referred to as our
seventh dimensional life.
In the center of the graph, the black colour illustrates the unmanifested power of creation, and the white colour illustrates the unmanifested power of manifestation.
The gray colour is supposed to illustrate the merger of the black and the white color, the merged power of creation and manifestation.
All the colours of the rainbow that surrounds these three energies illustrate the radiation from the merged power of creation and manifestation, represented by the gray color.
There are a total of eight colours in the rainbow, but the ultraviolet and the infrared cannot be illustrated in a graph.
The ultraviolet change the hue of all the colours, and the infrared is the heat that radiates from the entire structure.
THE PATH TO THE INDIVIDUAL AND PERSONAL
SELF-REALIZATION
To achieve his/her individual and personal
Self-realization, his/her own wholeness, a person has to achieve the
realization of the existence of God the Father and Goddess
the Mother.
To achieve this, a person has to surrender to the universal and impersonal
presence of God the Father by surrendering to spiritual principles and to the
universal and impersonal presence of Goddess the Mother by surrendering to
earthly principles.
The spiritual principles are omnipresence, omniscience, omnipotence and
immortality.
The earthly principles are limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality.
To surrender to the spiritual principles a person has to take help from his/her
thinking, and to surrender to earthly principles he/she has to take help from his/her
feelings.
The surrender takes place gradually as the person
learns to see, hear, feel and sense both his/her Spirit and his/her body, and
at the same time, acts confidently in accordance with what he/she sees, hears,
feels or senses.
THE PATH TO THE ABSOLUTE SELF-REALIZATION
Once the Master was
asked if it is good for the spiritual life to live in celibacy and he answered
laughingly: "God is no fool. If it was enough with one gender, there wouldn’t
be two."
TuTu explained that the most potent power of the human being is the sexual, and
a person can go as far as the seventh dimension by the help of platonic love or
by the help of sexual love for a person of the opposite or the same gender.
To get access to the
Absolute, the sexual power also has to be active, but for this purpose, it has
to be pure.
The sexual power is pure when the person has attained the capacity to
honestly
follow the swing of his/her own sexual feelings during lovemaking
without denial of the intensity or lack of it in his/her sexual
feelings.
When both partners have attained this, and at the same time, surrender
in unconditional love and care for, compassion with and mercy towards
to each other, together they are powerful enough to enter the Absolute.
They step in, hand in hand, after having entered into their Spiritual
Wedding with each other and with God the Father and Goddess the Mother.
THE FOUR WEDDINGS
A human being’s surrender to his/her beloved’s Spirit and body takes place through the four weddings.
The first wedding is
The Earthly Wedding, which consists in the sexual union of his and her
corporeal bodies.
If love and compassion fades when the sexual attraction
fades, this marriage can be broken.
If love and compassion does not fade, time is ripe for The Angelic Wedding, which is the union of his and her heart.
This marriage cannot be broken no matter how much hardship the couple is
exposed to, because nobody can resist the power of love.
When hardships have cleansed their hearts so that love, care, compassion and mercy stand pure, time is ripe for their Divine Wedding, which is the union of their Souls, and as a result of this wedding they realize that their beloved’s Soul and body is God the Father’s and Goddess the Mother’s individual and personal presence for them outside themselves, like their own Soul and body is God the Father's and Goddess the Mother's individual and personal presence for them inside themselves.
When love, care, compassion and mercy for the beloved’s
Soul and body has become unconditional, time is ripe for their Spiritual Wedding,
which is the union of their Spirits, and this wedding gives them access to The
Holy Grail, The Ocean of Love, in the Absolute, and thus the high God The
Father and Goddess the Mother, and the low God the Son – who is the outer
to his beloved and the inner to himself – and Goddess the Daughter – who
is the outer to her beloved and the inner to herself – unite in
one being who holds both the high and the low, the inner
and the outer, and this United consciousness is their individual and personal
God.
As a result of their Spiritual Wedding, at the same time, they also get connected with
everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence, and this is their
universal and impersonal God.
In the Bible it is
written that a time will come where God comes down on Earth to sleep by the
side of humankind, and at this time, God will wipe every tear from humankind’s
eyes.
TuTu said that this time occurs for a human being after
The Spiritual Wedding has taken place.
THE MUTUAL BODY OF THE MAN AND THE WOMAN
The relationship between spouses consists in their separateness in the form of their individuality and their unity in the form of their love and compassion for each other, and this love and compassion is their mutual body.
In their mutual body, the man is the mental
and the woman the emotional.
Therefore, the man takes the position of the head that juts into the heaven,
and the woman takes the position of the feet that walk on the Earth, and in
this way they both take their rightful places in their mutual body.
With love and compassion for his own and the woman’s individuality, the man
selects the path the couple has to walk, and the woman achieves her
With love and compassion for her own and the man’s
individuality, the woman selects where on the path the couple has to place
their feet, and the man achieves his
TuTu explained that shortly before his death Jesus washed the feet of his
disciples to call attention to his love, care, compassion and mercy for the feminine
principle with this symbolic act.
TO BECOME LIKE CHILDREN ANEW
A man can approach his beloved’s four aspects by approaching the Goddess, the mother, the woman and the girl.
A woman can approach her beloved’s four aspects by approaching the God, the
father, the man and the boy.
A man approaches the
Goddess to ask for directions as to where to place his feet, and the right
attitude is then to take his place as the boy who asks for a favor and becomes
grateful if he receives it.
A woman approaches the God to ask for directions as to which path she should take, and the right attitude is then to take her place as the girl who asks for a favor and becomes grateful if she receives it.
A man approaches the
mother and a woman approaches the father to ask for care, and the right
attitude is then to take his/her place as the boy or the girl who asks for a
favor and becomes grateful if he/she receives it.
A man/woman approaches the woman/man to ask for lovemaking, and the right attitude is then to take his/her place as the boy/girl who asks for a favor and becomes grateful if he/she receives it.
In the lovemaking, the man and the woman take the right attitude by being innocently selfish like children who only listen to the swing of their own sexual feelings, and they ask their partner to satisfy their desire for touch in a way that their sexual feelings reveal to them will feel the best, and they become grateful if they receive it.
A man/woman approaches the girl/boy to ask her/him to play with him/her, and the right attitude is then to take his/her place as the boy/girl who asks for a favor and becomes grateful if he/she receives it.
These attitudes are the
right ones because we must become like children anew to enter the Garden of
Eden, that place in existence where love and compassion for the beloved fill in
all emptiness.
THAT HUMAN BEING WHO LIVES ALONE
That human being, who has achieved his/her individual and personal Self-realization, but who lives alone, must patiently wait to meet his/her beloved to achieve his/her Absolute Self-realization and in the meantime prepare for this meeting by using his/her personal contact with his/her Higher Power as the head and his/her life and will as the feet.
The Higher Power then
selects the path this person must take, and the person himself/herself chooses where
on the path he/she will put his/her feet.
THE CAMEL AND THE NEEDLE’S EYE
It is important that
money, property, power and prestige issues do not divert us from taking our
rightful places, because it is as difficult for the rich to enter
The rich has acquired more than he/she needs to be
able to strut around in self-important seriousness and let others serve
him/her for money, and because others serve him/her in that way, he/she
believes that his/her desires are more important than everybody else’s,
and therefore he/she is like a fool who plays wise.
The one who receives the fulfillment of his/her big and small desires like a
grateful child instead of demanding is a fool in the eyes of the rich but is,
however, the true sage who takes his/her rightful place as the child at the
root of his/her own being, and who can therefore get access to Paradise where to
tickets cannot be bought for property, money, power or prestige.
THE ONE WHO EXALTS HIMSELF/HERSELF
SHALL BE HUMBLED
A
spiritual teacher, who lets himself/herself be served by his/her
students, or who receives payments in any form to pass on his/her
spiritual experiences is like the rich, who distributes pearls to exalt
himself/herself, but when a person exalts himself/herself, also the
abasement has to follow
This will take place at the point in time when the concerned person
realizes that he/she is neither more nor less than any other creaturemanifestion and thus
has to step down from his/her self-exalted state.
SOCIETY’S PERCEPTION OF THE
MASCULINE AND THE FEMININE PRINCIPLE
TuTu explained that the masculine image of the World is perceived as rational, exact and predictable, and the feminine image as irrational, inexact and unpredictable.
In some societies, the irrational is perceived as
negative, on the border of insanity.
This attitude is often found in societies which are dominated by the mental.
In other societies, which are dominated by the emotional, a similar negative
attitude is found about the rational, but both attitudes are out of balance
because thoughts that are not combined with emotions can lead to many cold and
heartless actions, and emotions that are not combined with thoughts can lead to
many explosive and destructive actions.
Therefore, it is just as necessary for men to learn to listen to their emotions
as it is for women to learn to put their emotions into a mental frame, and in
this way, both of them can learn to createmanifest balanced
actions.
THE CHRIST CONSCIOUSNESS
Jesus was referred to as Christ.
Many use the two names at random but TuTu explained that it is essential to discern between the individual person
Jesus and the universal field of consciousness called Christ, which Jesus came
into the World to inform humanity about.
Furthermore, he said that today there are many to be found in this field of
consciousness.
Some are not even aware of it themselves because they don’t discern between the
person Jesus and his state of consciousness called Christ.
The Christ consciousness expresses itself differently in different people
depending on their personal inclination and capacity, but the characteristics
for anyone who has achieved the Christ consciousness is that he/she has a
personal contact with his/her chosen Higher Power, that he/she has surrendered
his/her will and life to his/her chosen Higher Power's care, and that he/she
shows love, care, compassion and mercy towards those who still suffer.
Anybody who is found in the field of consciousness called Christ can rightfully
add this designation to his/her name as his/her holy name showing his/her
existential standing.
THE PRINCIPLES IN CHRIST AND THE PRINCIPLES IN
TUTU
The development of the Christ consciousness can take place in many ways, and one of these is to work all The Twelve Steps in any of The Fellowships Anonymous, which TuTu called The Free Church of the Christ, where the members can learn to live in accordance with the principles of the Christ field of consciousness that consists in having a personal contact with one's chosen Higher Power, having surrendered one’s will and one’s life to one's chosen Higher Power's care and in showing love, care, compassion and mercy to those who still suffer.
In these Fellowships, the members can easily get access to the Christ
consciousness because a spiritual teacher who has worked the 12 Steps in any of
the Fellowships Anonymous and who is called a sponsor can guide the newcomer on
his/her path to his/her Higher Power and thereby make it possible for him/her to
surrender to his/her Higher Power's care and thus achieve the spiritual
awakening that consists in love, care, compassion and mercy for the still
suffering.
Thereby he/she has attained the Chris Consciousness that is also called the compassionate consciousness and he/she can justly ad the name Christ to his/her personal name and thereby express his/her existential stage by the help of his/her holy name; Christ.
The sponsors do this work without receiving either money or services, and
therefore nobody needs to lack the Christ Consciousness and the personal contact
with God today.
The principles that express themselves through the field of consciousness called
TuTu are: A personal contact with one´s chosen Higher
Power, unconditional surrender to one's chosen Higher Power's care,
unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy for all,
be it the still suffering or those who are
successful lin their own eyes or in the
eyes of society.
A person can merge his/her consciousness into the field of consciousness called Christ by carrying out the 12 Steps in the 12 Step Program of Active Addictions Anonymous – The Wild Life and then direct his/her consciousness towards TuTu by working the Program of Christs Anonymous – The Thirteenth Step, and in that way prepare himself/herself to attain the field of consciousness called TuTu by the help of his/her Other Half – his/her Eternal Beloved.
THE OUTRAGE OVER CHRIST
Anybody who has worked
the 12 Steps either in Active Addictions Anonymous -The
Wild life
or in any of the other 12 Step Fellowships Anonymous, or who otherwise
considers himsel/herself to be ready can
participate in Christs Anonymous - The Thirteenth Step if he/she desires to,
and in ChrisAn he/she can work with The Thirteenth Step after having completed
the Twelve Steps of Christs Anonymous.
This program is called The Thirteenth Step because one first works The Twelve Steps and then The Twelve Traditions that constitutes one more step, the Thirteenth Step.
In this Fellowship, members introduce themselves by
first stating their personal name followed by an honest and courageous
admission of their holy name, their state of consciousness, by saying:
"I'm Christ".
Although, some may feel
outraged by this, TuTu suggested to those who fear the outrage to be brave and
stand by their Christ consciousness.
In this way, we can contribute to make the Christ consciousness real to
ourselves and to the World in all its nuances, and this will help us to get
everything put into its right place and others to achieve the Christ
consciousness, even though we have been told that this state of consciousness
is unattainable to anybody but Jesus.
This untruth is expressed by those who desire the power and the glory, and so they
demand that anybody who admits to possess the Christ consciousness must be able
to walk on water in physical Reality, and thereby, they hinder the nuances of
the Christ consciousness in coming to an honest expression.
THE PROGRAM OF CHRISTS ANONYMOUS
The program of Christs Anonymous consists in first admitting that we are powerless over our addiction to our thinking mind, our Ego, and how that makes our life unmanageable and then to open ourselves to believing that a Power greater than us can lead us to our true Self, our Spirit, and thus to Joy of Being.
Then we make a decision unconditionally to surrender our will and our life to
the care of our chosen Higher Power as we understand that Power.
With the courage and the strength this decision brings forth we make a searching
and fearless inventory of ourselves, and then we admit our exact nature to
ourselves, to our Higher Power, to another human being and to our ChrisAn Fellowship.
After this, we make ourselves ready to be liberated from all our defects of character, and when we have become entirely ready, we humbly ask our Higher Power to liberate us from them.
Next, we make a list of all the persons we have harmed - seen through the eyes
we have achieved by the help of the first seven Steps in our Christs Anonymous
Program, - beginning with making amends to ourselves and we also become willing
to make amends to everyone else on our list, and when time is ripe, we make the
amends, unless making direct amends will harm ourselves, them or others that are
indirectly involved in the consequences of the situation we want to make amends
for .
If that is the case, we give indirect amends by doing what we want to do for the
person, we have harmed, but to another human being, who needs it.
Then, we continue to take daily inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit
it.
Through prayer and meditation, we seek to improve our conscious contact with our
Higher Power, as we understand that Power, asking only for knowledge of
our Higher Power’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
After having achieved a spiritual awakening as a result of this work, we
continue to practice these principles in our daily life and pass on the message
to others that it is possible – by the help of the 12 Step Program of Christs
Anonymous – to let go of one's addiction to one's thinking mind, one's
Ego so as to be united with one's true Self, one's Spirit and thereby be led to Joy of
Being.
GAYATHRI MANTRA
TuTu explained that it helps in this work to use the Gayathri mantra or to use the essence of this mantra as a prayer that corresponds with the vibration the mantra holds at appropriate moments in the course of the day.
Gayathri mantra consists in the sound hrim, [pronounced: hreem] that holds the vibration which means: "God, liberate me from this self-important seriousness," and this sound is the root sound which comes second in the hierarchy of root sounds after the primary root sound OM.
After finishing the work with the Twelve Steps we work with The Twelve
Traditions, each of which deals with our relationship with The World around us,
and by the help of this work we become able to place our spiritual clarity in
our Earthly contexts.
The Twelve Traditions
put together are equivalent to one last Step - The Thirteenth Step.
THE COMPLETE BRIDGE TO THE NEW WORLD ORDER
TuTu said that, to
complete The Bridge to The New World Order, AcAdAn, which stands for the 12 Step Fellowship of Active Addictions
Anonymous - The Wild Life also has to come forth.
Those of us
who, even if we want to, cannot free ourselves from our Earthly dependency of
alcohol, drugs, nicotine, food, our body, compulsive
spending, sex, relationships, codependency, destructive thoughts and emotions,
character defects, work, money, power, prestige, fame, material or spiritual
ambitions, or any other obsession that drives us to act compulsively, can be a member of AcAdAn.
Today,
many are found who suffer from a severe case of active addiction, and many more
that have a mild or moderate form of this disease, and in the here and now, any
case of addiction can consist in mild cases that can be resolved, medium or
severe cases that may be resolved and light cases that can be resolved, but
whether our addiction can be resolved in the here and now or not,
nobody who wants access to a 12 Step Fellowship should be denied this no matter
the character their active addiction.
TOTOS SOLFOND
TuTu
said that if the Fellowships Anonymous – all the Fellowships that
work with a 12-Step Program in one form or other – want to participate
in
relieving the suffering on Earth, they could form a foundation called
ToTos Solfond, which could support the creationmanifestation of homes for homeless
human
beings all over the World, in particular for children.
On the first of September every year, all of the Fellowships Anonymous
put together could distribute the foundation funds for homeless purposes with
22% in The North, 22% in The South, 22% in The East and 22% in The West.
The remaining 12% could be used for expenses incurred by the foundation,
and any surplus from here could be returned to the foundation at the end of a
calendar year and thus be included in the next year’s distribution of the
foundation funds.
If we chose to use the surplus of our group from any 12 Step Group in
this way, at the same time, we chose to contribute to improve the World we are
part of, where it is needed the most.
On the 22nd of August every year, we could organize a convention in
Here, we could look into
how much money we had collected and participate in the decision as to how we
wanted our money to be used in accordance with the suggested guide lines.
In the beginning of the life of the foundation, there would hardly be
anything to distribute, in particular because we give free copyright and access
to those who want to read our literature or who want to pass it on.
Still, we do not increase our contributions in our own 12-Step
Group, because we want that the foundation should grow forth harmoniously as an
expression of the united will of our Fellowships to contribute to the World we
live in, where it is
needed the most, and
we ensure that the foundation does not reflect one
person’s or a few members’ influence or affluence.
THE FOUNDATION OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER
TuTu called himself the Messiah Anonymous.
Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of The New World Order, and that means
that it is not the personal data, life story or behavior of the individual
person which shall be focused on but how earthly and spiritual principles work
in this person’s life, and therefore no person can evaluate another person or another person’s
life or behavior by looking at him/her from the outside.
Seen from the outside, a person’s life may be filled with misfortunes
and
degradations, but seen from within, in spite of it all, living in
accordance
with earthly and spiritual principles can fill the life of the person
with happiness and elevations, even if this person lives at the bottom
of society, outcast and persecuted, conscious that his/her life will end at
a young
age with a violent death, like it was the case for Jesus, and like it
was the
case for Harishchandra too, but this can only be known if the person
chooses to
tell about it.
Therefore TuTu’s personal life shall not be considered an example to be
followed but to be one of many upcoming examples as to how living in accordance
with the principles of TuTu can affect a person’s life.
However, it is important to inform about his personal data, not to break the
principle of anonymity but for the sake of giving anybody who needs a
confirmation that he has indeed lived on Earth the opportunity to have it
confirmed.
THE MESSENGER AND THE MESSAGE
TuTu explained that in the case of Jesus the principle of anonymity was not observed, and therefore, today, confusion still exists concerning the messenger and the message.
Jesus chose thirteen companions who were going to be the carriers of the Christ
consciousness, so they could pass on the message about Christ when Jesus himself died.
The teachings they received took a different course because they traveled with
him and were affected by his radiation, while at the same time, they had the
opportunity to observe how the principles in Christ expressed themselves in one
person’s life, namely in the life of Jesus.
In spite of the personal teaching that they received, to some extent, they too
confused the messenger and the message, and also the zeitgeist, to a certain
extent, clouded their perspective.
VIRGINITY
The contemporary perspectives of those
times concerning women were also prevalent among the
thirteen and this expressed itself in various ways,
but TuTu said that in spite of this, truth will
triumph in the end.
The twelve had the idea that the message would lose its power of penetration if
society had to accept a woman like Mary Magdalene - who not only spoke in
congregations but at the same time was considered an outcast of the society -
as one of the carriers of the holy consciousness of Christ, and therefore they
expelled her from the group after Jesus’ death citing the reason that Israel had
twelve tribes and there were twelve months in a year, and therefore thirteen was
an unfortunate number, and after that they spoke about her as
an appendage to the group and not as one of the group.
However, they understood that the feminine principle could not be omitted
entirely, and instead they chose to focus on his personal story by involving
Mary, the mother of Jesus, as the feminine aspect.
Jesus himself pointed out that his mother was not a carrier of the Christ
consciousness when he dismissed her and his brothers at the doorway stating
that they were not his true family.
TuTu called the birth of Jesus a whim in nature, who, in this way, chose to
mark his birth as a special event which was worth noticing, and therefore it
could not be perceived as an example to be followed.
That adoration of virginity, which became a result of confusing the messenger
and the message, has cost both men and women much pain and has also createdmanifested
problems in the development of the love life of humankind.
THE NUMBER 13 AND THE NUMBERS 6-6-6
Even today, there are many who perceive thirteen as an unfortunate number, but Jesus chose thirteen disciples to call attention to the thirteenth letter ‘m’ in the Hebrew alphabet.
‘M’ stands for the holy feminine principle Goddess the Mother.
The sixth letter in the alphabet is ‘f’, which stands for the holy masculine
principle God the Father.
In the Bible, the Holy Trinity consists in God the Father, God the son and the Holy Spirit, and it is stated that the numbers 6-6-6 are the sign of the animal, which has given rise to many fables about these numbers as the numbers of the Devil, the Evil numbers etc.
The Bible warns people against the formation of 6-6-6, because if you exclusively perceive God to be the creative male force, and exclude the manifesting female force, it will createmanifest problems in the perspectives on existence both for the individual and for society, because this formation of numbers put God the Father in all three places of The Holy Trinity and thus it excludes humanity in the form of God the son and also the Holy Spirit, which is the holy feminine principle Goddess the Mother and Goddess the daughter.
When we embrace only the divine masculine force in our perception of God, we give life-force to the formation of 6-6-6, the number of the beast - the animal man and the animal woman - the lowest and most destructive class of people within humankind, thus creatingmanifesting an immense and prolonged suffering for humankind as prophesized in The Bible.
THE ONE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN THROWS THE FIRST STONE
TuTu said that love and forgiveness go hand in hand, but the group around Jesus was not able to forgive Judas for his contribution to the death of Jesus in spite of the fact that they were carriers of the Christ consciousness, but those who want to follow earthly principles have to work with themselves until they find the place of forgiveness within themselves.
Forgiveness cannot be given as a decision but has to spring from the heart,
otherwise the person puts himself/herself aside to give to another, and thereby
he/she loses contact with his/her true condition.
Judas was consumed by political issues and thought that Jesus was going to be king
of the country.
He imagined that if only the priests met him, they would realize that he ought to be king, and therefore he wanted to bring the priests and Jesus together, but when he saw the consequence of his action, he took his own life in pain and despair because of it.
After two thousand years, in her present life as TuTu’s wife, Mary Magdalene
realized that humanity consists in being limited, ignorant, powerless and
mortal, and like humanity prevented Judas from foreseeing the consequences of
his actions, it prevented her from the same, and thus she had to realize the
truth of the words of Jesus: "The one who is without sin throws the first
stone," and then she forgave Judas.
LUCIFER
That time came too when she
forgave the people who contributed to the death of Jesus, but she was
only able to do so after her Spiritual Wedding with him as
Harishchandra Sharma TuTu took place, because she understood then what
she did not understand before, and thereby she realized that also she
had contributed to his death.
She understood that TuTu and she were the first of the eternal couples
who left the Absolute to experience life as creaturesmanifestations.
We chose to manifest as Quadruplets together with another couple, who
wanted the same, and thus we manifested in four directions - the North,
the South, the East and the West - and in that way, Four became the
first positive power factor in the creationmanifestation where the
invisible is the negative, the darkness or the Spirit, and the visible
is the positive, the light or matter.
Others of the eternal couples followed in the wake in wave after wave,
until everybody who had the same desire had projected themselves out of
the Absolute and into createdmanifested forms.
Gradually, as the couples moved into the third dimension, many forgot their original desire and became dissatisfied with life.
They began cursing the day they were createdmanifested, and said that
they would not have gone out if he who went out first had not done so.
His name was Lucifer, the light carrier, whom God loved, because he loved life under all circumstances.
Those who cursed their destiny asked Lucifer how he was able to love
life, and he answered that he had accepted that every
creaturemanifestation had to carry a cross, which consists in
limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality.
THE ONE WHO GIVES HIS/HER LIFE SHALL PRESERVE IT,
AND THE ONE WHO TRIES TO PRESERVE IT SHALL LOSE IT
They retorted that it was
exactly their limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality that
createdmanifested the anger in themselves.
He explained that his acceptance sprang from the fact that he had
chosen to unconditionally surrender his will and his life to the care
of his Absolute consciousness, which he called his Higher Power.
His Higher Power’s form consisted in the individuality and the unity, and these were not confined within any mortal body.
The result of his own limitation because of his mortal body was his
ignorance about many things and his powerlessness over that which he
did not know, but because his Higher Power was not submitted to these
limitations, he moved ahead courageously in life trusting the lead of
his Higher Power.
Therefore, he could use his life force to enjoy life and help himself
to all the good things that his Higher Power offered him on life’s
journey; while at the same time, he accepted the pains of life as a
necessary part of creationmanifestation.
To experience life as a creaturemanifestation, he had to separate
himself from the unlimited to take on a limited form, and the pain of
life consists in this separation, which is also called death in all
things, whether big or small.
They got angry and said that they had not got their life to give it
away to a Higher Power, but now they understood better why they
suffered.
The Higher Power was quite simply revengeful and sent them sufferings, because they did with their life what they wanted.
He answered that their Higher Power gave them the freedom to do what
they wanted with their life, but when a creaturemanifestation reached a
point where he/she asked his/her Higher Power to take over the care of
his/her will and his/her life, he/she would open up to the discovery
that his/her Higher Power had taken on the responsibility of leading
him/her in accordance with his/her own desires from the beginning to
the end, and thereby, he/she would gradually realize the unconditional
love, care, compassion and mercy of his/her Higher Power, and little by
little, that would make his/her anger and bitterness about being a
creaturemanifestation disappear.
THE FALLEN ANGEL
They were seized by distrust and said to each other that he was just a fallen angel who tried to misguide them, but now you could see that when all came down to it he was in Reality their most ardent opponent because who could rejoice in life if you had to give it away at the same time.
When they suffered, they wanted the same suffering to come to his lot so he
could discover the true character of his Higher Power.
NOT A STONE WAS TO BE FOUND ON
WHICH HE COULD LEAN HIS HEAD
When his other half heard their answer, she was seized by shame and fled from him.
In the end, the innocent one did not find a stone on
which he could lean his head, and he gave in to the outrage and asked what we
wanted from him.
We answered that he should live as a son of humankind, without a job, at the
bottom of society, outcast and persecuted, and besides this, he should go
through the most severe of tortures that came to the lot of those whom society
proclaimed to be criminals.
If, under these circumstances, without anger, he would surrender his
will and his life to his Higher Power’s care, then we would believe
that this was the way to love life as a creaturemanifestation.
He agreed to take on this task in compassion for our lack of insight,
and at the same time, he hoped that his destiny would arouse our
compassion, because he needed our love and compassion just as much as
we needed his.
When we saw him hang on the cross, we realized that he had completed
the task and many picked up the message, but many dissociated
themselves from it and continued to curse Lucifer and blame him for
their self-created-self-manifested hell.
THE SAVIOUR
The many
that picked up the message spread over the Earth to pass it on.
One single person, who picked up the message shortly
after the death of Jesus, was a powerful messenger, but to a certain extent, he
was also blinded by his human limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and
mortality, and because he could not simultaneously hold the thought that The
Messiah, The World Teacher, was executed as a criminal and that God's love is
infinitely merciful, he found peace from this paradox by creatingmanifesting the myth about the Saviour.
This misunderstanding has createdmanifested much suffering in those who
wanted to follow the teachings of Jesus, and now it seems to have taken
roots as that mental illness which is known by the name of The Saviour
Complex, popularly known as Codependency.
Below is a graph which illustrates the thought pattern in this complex.
THE RING OF THE SAVIOUR COMPLEX
These four
characteristics in the Ring of the Saviour Complex constitute one thought
pattern and that means that all four of them become active if one activates
just one of them.
Below, the
four main streams of thinking in this complex are described separately:
THE
SAVIOUR: I have to save others from the consequences of their social life, their thoughts,
emotions and actions so that I get to feel good about myself.
THE SEDUCER: Others cannot bear to know how I think, feel and act, and
therefore I have to conceal, deny, twist, manipulate, lie or falsify that image
of my Reality which I pass on to others, so that I get to feel good about
myself.
THE OFFENDER:
Other’s social life, thoughts, emotions and actions are wrong, and it is my task
to change them so that I get to feel good about myself.
THE VICTIM:
I have to sacrifice my money, time, energy and interests for others so that I
get to feel good about myself.
The healing of this mental illness consists in creatingmanifesting an opposing environment of thoughts in one's mind, and the healthy thought pattern is illustrated in the graph below:
THE RING OF EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY
DETACHMENT: Others need to know the consequences of their social life, their thoughts, emotions and actions just like I need to know the consequences of mine, so that they and I can become more enlightened; so I give myself and others the time and space to get to know the consequences of our social life, our thoughts, emotions and actions, and thus we find that contentment begins to bloom within us.
INTEGRITY: I need to know the Reality of the others as it is, and they need to know my Reality as it is, so both they and I can form a truer image of Reality as it IS, and thus we find that contentment begins to bloom within us.
RESPECT FOR OTHERS: Others need
to think, feel, act and relate to others in accordance with their
Reality as it IS, just like I need to think, feel, act and relate to
others in accordance with my Reality as it IS, so that both they and I
can find out how to createmanifest a daily life which satisfies us, and
thus we find that contentment begins to bloom within us.
RESPECT FOR SELF: I and others need to use our money, time, energy and
personal interests on ourselves first of all so at to become able to
createmanifest a daily life for ourselves that satisfy us, and thus we
find that contentment begins to bloom within us.
HE CAME AS A THIEF IN THE NIGHT
In spite of this misunderstanding, the soil was slowly fertilized so he could come back to conclude the work.
It is written in the
Bible that at the time of his return many would say: "There he is… there
he is…" pointing in many different directions, but he advised the people
not to believe it because he would come like a thief in the night, and
therefore the residents of the house would only discover that he had been there
when they woke up in the morning and saw the result of his visit.
TuTu came as a thief in the night, lived anonymously at
the bottom of society and was only recognized by some of those who met him
personally, and who frequently greeted him with the words: "Hello
Jesus."
He took care of his errand on Earth and died in
THE NEW HOLY
LAND
In the Bible, it is also written that he
would not return to
The Master said during one of his travels to the West that
Thus, he appointed Denmark to be the new holy land of the World.
TuTu chose to live, teach and die in
ARCHETYPES
TuTu taught me that the Universe consists of an infinite number of fields of energy, which are called interference patterns.
The voltage among compound energies in a certain interference pattern maintains the pattern in its form.
A certain number of individual and personal interference patterns of the same type put together form a bigger universal and impersonal interference pattern, and this is an archetype.
The archetype holds the combined consciousness of all the individual parts,
while at the same time, every single part holds the total consciousness of the
archetype.
He gave the example that the individual human
being can be seen as the individual and personal interference pattern, and that
all of humanity put together make up the universal and impersonal interference
pattern, which is the archetype: The human being.
The connection between the archetype X and the individual part Y can be
configured in the equation:
X = (Y x Z) + S
where one multiplies Y with Z, which is the number of the parts and to this add S, which is their synthesis, because the synthesis of the parts is bigger than the sum of the individual parts in the same way as an alarm clock is more than the sum of its individual parts.
THE UNITY OF HUMANKIND
I could not imagine that I, as a part of humankind, hold all of humankind’s consciousness, until TuTu took me to a holographic exhibition of pictures one day.
Holographic pictures are three-dimensional and arise when a picture plate with
an interference pattern is lit by laser light, and thereby the three-dimensional
picture appears.
If the holographic picture plate of a horse, for example, is cut into many pieces
and you pick up that piece which was a part of the horse’s ear before and light
it up with laser light, the piece shows the whole horse.
He explained that the exhibition could be used as an illustration of the
principle that everybody is a part of totality and every part IS the totality.
This implies that a single person’s happiness or unhappiness affects all of
humankind, if not in a wake and conscious state then in a sleeping and
unconscious state, and one person’s happiness or unhappiness will thus express
itself in all of humankind’s life.
GOD
That the individual human being is not necessarily aware that he/she holds the total consciousness is due to the limitation of the eye of consciousness in the third dimension, and this can be illustrated by drawing a big ball and placing a microscopic dot at any point somewhere on either the surface on the outside or inside the ball.
The ball then represents the total consciousness of the person, and the dot
represents the limited window of the consciousness in the third dimension.
At the same time, the comparison of the dot with the balll illustrateS the
relationship between the wake day consciousness of the person - the dot, and
the subconscious of the person - the ball.
The ball or the total field of consciousness is in and of itself an archetype,
which includes everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of
consciousness.
This archetype is called God, and everything and everybody everywhere at all
levels of consciousness is thus God and holds all of God’s consciousness since
each part holds the totality.
SPHERES OF CONSCIOUSNESS
The dot can be placed
in various places on the surface of the ball or inside it, and in this way, you
can mark the focus point of the consciousness in various areas, in various
outer or inner spheres.
Various spheres of consciousness hold different Worlds and these can be
experienced by moving the focus point of consciousness by the help of
reflection, contemplation, concentration and meditation.
We are all used to moving effortlessly in the third dimension without bouncing
into other living beings or objects, but in our Earthly lives, that is not so
for our movements in the other dimensions of our existence as well, and this is
clearly seen when we clash with others emotionally, mentally, socially or
spiritually.
TuTu explained that by surrendering to his/her own emotions a person can get
used to be in that condition which exists in the fifth dimension, where
emotions move effortlessly.
By using his/her own thoughts in a reflective manner, i.e. by reflecting everything
instead of judging it on the grounds of good and evil or right and wrong, a
person can get used to be in that condition which exists in the sixth
dimension, where thoughts move effortlessly.
When a person goes into the contemplative state and thereby begin concentrating
in his/her consciousness, he/she can get used to be in that condition which
exists in the seventh dimension, where love, care,
compassion and mercy flow effortlessly in our social interactions.
From the concentrated state of awareness, a person can enter the meditative
state, and a person can thus learn to consciously empty his/her focus point and
thereby become able to see, hear, feel or sense God, and at the same time,
he/she is able to enter the other dimensions and thus become able to experience
Reality in the other Worlds without meeting resistance from emotions and
thoughts which spring from his/her experiences in the third dimension.
The graphs
below illustrate these states of consciousness.
Each circle
represents one of our states of consciousness and the dots inside them
represent our thoughts in the various states of consciousness.
STATES OF CONSCIOUSNESS
Ordinary
Reflection Contemplation Concentration Meditation
The first
circle shows a normal state of mind with many thoughts that produces various
emotional states set into motion by our thoughts.
The second
circle represents a reflective state of mind where we allow our
thoughts and emotions to pass through us without trying to hold on to a
particular thought or the emotion the thought holds,
and by so doing, peace of mind arises, because
we cease to give each and every thought or emotion power over us.
The
third circle shows a
contemplative state of mind, which is an immersion in a particular thought or
set of thoughts, and this is called
prayer when it concerns spiritual pursuits, where our thoughts are concentrated
on an object, a word, a mantra, a koan or a prayer wandering to and from the point of contemplation.
The fourth
circle shows a concentrated state of mind, where all other thoughts but the object
of contemplation have disappeared.
TuTu further explained that by looking at the Rings of Social Interactions a
person can find help to develop his/her social life, his/her love life.
THE RINGS OF SOCIAL INTERACTIONS
By the help of these Rings, it becomes easier for the person to see that there is a ‘me’, an ‘us’ and a ‘you’ in any social interaction.
If he/she pulls his/her own life-circle out from the intertwined circles, he/she sees that almost half of his/her personal life-circle is consumed by the ‘us’ in any social interaction.
From this, he/she can easily see that it will also settle as a hurt in his/her own life-circle if he/she hurts another.
It also becomes clear
that when two people have a social interaction, they are both in touch with a Power Greater than their
individual selves as a ‘me’ and a ‘you’ – in the form of the greater entity existing
in the ‘us’ that is greater than the sum of its parts.
Many people have a
tendency in their social life, their Soul life, to usurp the time, energy,
interest and money of others, hoping that they could liberate themselves from
loneliness, boredom, emptiness and meaninglessness this way and thus harm their love life.
With the help of the
Ring of Emptiness and the Ring of Fulfillment, a person can look into this idea
and thus easily get to see that what they hope to achieve cannot be achieved by
something outside them but must
be healed from within.
THE RING OF EMPTINESS AND THE RING OF FULFILLMENT
If we found ourselves in the Ring of Emptiness when we had empty time in front of us, we felt bored, and life seemed meaningless to us when we felt bored.
In particular we experienced that we had empty time in front of us when we had
completed a specific task or project which had usurped a large amount of time,
or it could also happen simply because we had a lot of time available in our
day.
As a result of the meaninglessness and
boredom, we wanted to flee from ourselves and our lives, and when we wanted
to leave ourselves and our lives we felt lonely.
If we found ourselves in the Ring of Fulfillment when we had empty time in front
of us, we identified ourselves with our true Self, our Spirit, and thereby, we
experienced oneness with ourselves on all of our planes of existence and also
with everything and everybody everywhere at all planes of existence, even with
the so called 'dead' matter.
When we thus experienced oneness with everything, we found everything and
everybody everywhere at all levels of existence, including
ourselves, interesting, and thus we experienced that every present moment, every
NOW, filled us up in a meaningful way.
TUTU’S SUGGESTIONS FOR CONTEMPLATION
As an entrance to meditation, TuTu suggested the following prayer as an object of contemplation to address our Spiritual Parents, our Lord and our Lady in the God Realm, which is also called the Absolute, the Spirit plane, the eighth dimension or the plane of unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy.
In this prayer, we want to expand our consciousness to include our true Self, our Spirit.
The symbol 22 refers
to the TuTu consciousness, which is the holy name for those of us who
no longer are slaves of our thinking mind, our Ego and furthermore have
become united with our Spirit Mate, our significant other plus our own
and our significant other´s Spirit in one merged consciousness of the
masculine and the feminine principle called our true Self, our Spirit.
THE SPIRIT PRAYER
The ‘I’ Version
My Father and my Mother
You Who are in the God Realm
May Your name be my Holy Name 22
May Your Realm come on Earth
so Your will may happen on Earth
like
it happens in the God Realm
Give me this day what I need
Forgive me my wrongs and give me
the
capacity to forgive those who wrong me
Guide me through my desires
and
liberate me from my wrongs
For Yours is the God Realm
and the Power
and the Glory
eternally.
Amen.
He also recommended meditation in groups because the united force of the group can help the individual to enter into meditation.
As entrance to group meditation, the group can begin by saying these words
together and aloud:
The ‘Group’ Version
Our Father and our Mother
You Who are in the God Realm
May Your name be our Holy Name 22
May Your Realm come on Earth
so Your will may happen on Earth
like
it happens in the God Realm
Give us this day what we need
Forgive us our wrongs and give us
the
capacity to forgive those who wrong us
Guide us through our desires
and
liberate us from our wrongs
For Yours is the God Realm
and the Power
and the Glory
eternally.
Amen.
One can also use the following object of contemplation to make one's spiritual goal clear by addressing one's own and one's Eternal Beloved's merged Absolute Self:
THE GOD PRAYER
God
You are the only true goal of my life
I’m yet but a slave of my wishes
putting bar to my advancement
and You are the only God and Power
Who can take me up to that stage.
And in the
group setting:
God
You are the only true goal of our life
We are yet but slaves of our wishes
putting bar to our advancement
and You are the only God and Power
Who can take us up to that stage.
In the morning, TuTu himself used a very simple prayer, which required that he received everything that came to his lot on that day with gratitude, because he considered it to come from his Higher Power and the Gratitude Prayer is expressed in the following way:
THE GRATITUDE PRAYER
God,
You know what this, your child, needs today.
And in the
group setting:
God,
You know what these, your children, need today.
The Way Prayer can be used to develop one’s communication with one’s chosen Higher Power
God,
I seek guidance today about.......
the spiritual aspirant writes down his/her chosen question and become silent,
and when the answer rises from within himself/herself, he/she writes down the
answer)
SLEEPING AND WAKE CONSCIOUSNESS
Every person travels
through the dimensions, from the fourth dimension to the Absolute, every night
during sleep, and in this way picking up his/her life-force for the day.
The difference between the worldly and the spiritual person is that the worldly person does this in the night in a sleeping and unconscious state, and the spiritual person can furthermore do this in the daytime in a wake and conscious state.
THE HOLY GRAIL
That field of consciousness which is called Christ is found in the seventh dimension and it activates love, care, compassion and mercy.
That field of consciousness which is called TuTu is the entrance to the
Absolute and it activates the unconditional love, care, compassion and
mercy.
The Spiritual Wedding takes place in TuTu between that man and that woman who has achieved their individual and personal Self-realization and has then surrendered to each other in unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy.
As a result of this wedding, their consciousness merges into the Holy Grail,
which is also called the innermost heart of the eternal couple, their heart's
heart or the
THE MANWOMAN
The Holy Grail is held in that archetype which is called the Manwoman, The Individual and Personal God, the merged masculine and feminine principle.
ONE GRAPHIC
EXPRESSION OF THE MANWOMAN
There are many ways of
illustrating the Holy Grail, the Manwoman and other areas of the total
consciousness through various graphs and symbols.
Below, the Manwoman is portrayed by the help of two graphs.
One symbolizes the merged man and woman, and the other the Manwoman’s archetype.
THE INDIVIDUAL AND
PERSONAL GOD: THE MANWOMAN
The first graph shows the ManWoman resting in the rainbow-colored Cosmic Egg.
In Reality, the colors change in the oval openings, each in their way,
in all the shades of the rainbow, and thus show a continuously changing
picture.
The egg rests in the blue cosmic seed, which consists of the radiation of The Cosmic Eggs.
The graph consists of one oval and four small circles - two each for
the masculine and feminine principles - plus the two major circles
called the Spirit-circles of the masculine and the feminine in the form
of their individuality.
The Spirit-circles hold the complete experiences of each of them from the beginning of time to the end.
The various other parts and forms in the graph are various areas of consciousness.
The black areas represent God the Father and God the Son - the
invisible unmanifest, and the white areas represent Goddess the Mother
and Goddess the Daughter - the visible unmanifest.
The black fish represents God the Father and the black eyes God the
Son, and the mutual black color illustrates that the Father and the Son
are one.
Goddess the Mother is illustrated by the white fish and Goddess the
Daughter by the white eyes, and the mutual white color illustrates that
the Mother and the Daughter are one.
Two of the fish are separated, and this shows the Individuality, which holds the cold.
The other two are merged, and this shows the Fellowship, which holds the warmth.
In the two merged fish, there is an area that shows the Absolute heart,
which consists of a white and a black area illustrating the
Individuality and a gray area illustrating the Fellowship.
The gray area is the Holy Grail.
The two graphs below accentuate the Absolute Heart and the Holy Grail by depicting them in purple color.
THE ABSOLUTE HEART
THE HOLY GRAIL
Before
creationmanifestation, all the MenWomen were resting each in their
individual Cosmic Eggs, every one of them containing a couple merged in
perfect and blissful love for eternities’ eternity, seen through an
Earthly scale, until, in two of the MenWomen, a desire arose to see
Their beloved in a new perspective, and the two merged MenWomen turned
around Their own axis in each their cosmic egg for this purpose and had
thus set into movement.
This movement made the Cosmic Seed, which consists of the blissful
radiations of love from the yoke of the Cosmic Egg, which is the Holy
Grail penetrate the eggs, and thus radiation became irradiation.
As a result, a new life came into being by the two MenWomen projecting
out into the Cosmic Seed a mirror image of themselves split in four out
into the cosmic seed.
The MenWomen’s projection were each split into the masculine principle
God the Father and God the Son, who are one and the feminine principle
Goddess the Mother and Goddess the Daughter, who are one, and the two
lovers were a mirror image of each other, and this nuclear fission is
often popularly referred to as ‘The Big Bang’.
God the Father and God the Son is the Spirit of the Soul, and Goddess
the Mother and Goddess the Daughter is the Soul of the Spirit.
The Soul is the first mortal body of the individual and personal Spirit
and is like a thin film of crystallized Spirit around the free Spirit
inside the form, but both masculine and the feminine Soul have a free
individual and personal Spirit inside the form of their Soul, and thus
they continue their eternal being together, because God the Father and
God the Son are enveloped by Goddess the Mother and Goddess the
Daughter and Goddess the Mother and Goddess the Daughter holds God the
Father and God the Son within her.
The first two individual MenWomen’s projection into matter consisted in
two pairs that had decided to manifest together, and so they became
Quadruplets at the Soul Level, and as a result these two couples formed
the basic matrix, the blueprint of the createdmanifested Universe – the North,
the South, the East and the West.
Four is thus the first positive power factor in creationmanifestation
as the cosmic Quadruplets were the first visible manifestation.
THE COSMIC TWINS
AND THE COSMIC QUADRUPLETS ON THE SOUL PLANE
The projection
of the first two MenWomen pulled a wave in Their wake of other Menwomen
who had the same desire, and this wave pulled yet another wave, until
all those Menwomen who had set into movement had poured out a
projection of themselves.
However, the projecting of two couples forming Quadruplets at Soul level were rare.
Most projected themselves as Twins, and also very few projected themselves as Triplets, Quintuplets etc.
The plane of existence in which their projections lived their life on
is called the seventh dimension, the Divine plane, Paradise, the Garden
of Eden, Heaven, the Soul plane or the plane of love, care, compassion
and mercy and it is this plane that has coined the word Soul Mates for
those beings, who are lying in the same egg on the Soul Level, because
even if HeShe has been split in two, a ‘He’ and a ‘She’, they do still
however, find themselves in the same cosmic egg.
Below is a graph showing the most common formation of Soul Mates
createdmanifested by one individual ManWoman, and it is called the
Cosmic Twins on the Soul Level and it illustrates the two Soul Mates,
the ManWoman split into two – a man and a woman, who are also called
God the Father and God the Son and Goddess the Mother and Goddess the
Daughter by humankind
Following this is a graph illustrating the archetype of The Cosmic Twins.
Below these are two more graphs called the Cosmic Quadruplets on the
Soul Level that illustrates the first creationmanifestation
createdmanifested by the first two MenWomen that stepped into matter
into a particularly designed cosmic egg for Quadruplets, followed by a
graph illustrating the archetype of all the Menwomen, who manifested as
Quadruplets.
GOD THE FATHER AND
GODDESS THE MOTHER:
(FOR
THE COSMIC
TWINS AT SOUL LEVEL):
THE ARCHETYPE OF THE COSMIC TWINS
AT SOUL LEVEL
(THE COSMIC QUADRUPLETS
IN FOUR DIRECTIONS)
(THE COSMIC QUADRUPLETS
IN FOUR DIRECTIONS)
(THE COSMIC QUADRUPLETS
IN FOUR DIRECTIONS)
GOD THE FATHER AND
GODDESS THE MOTHER AT SOUL LEVEL 2:
(THE COSMIC QUADRUPLETS
IN FOUR DIRECTIONS)
(THE COSMIC QUADRUPLETS
IN FOUR DIRECTIONS)
THE BUDDHA AND THE TARA
At
some point in time, a desire arose in the Souls to see each other in
more particular perspectives, and the Cosmic Seed penetrated the Egg
again, and the Souls projected the split mirror image of themselves out
into the Cosmic Seed, which is the underlying field of energy of all of
creationmanifestation called the Ocean of Love, and in this split, the
masculine and the feminine principle were separated completely.
This projection is called the second projection of the individual
ManWoman, which is the first projection of the Soul plane, the sixth
dimension, the Buddha plane, the plane of enlightenment, the plane of
ideas or the mental plane.
The feminine counterpart of the Buddha is called the Tara or the
Rainbow Goddess, and therefore this graph is called the Buddha and the
Tara.
THE BUDDHA AND THE TARA
THE ARCHETYPE OF THE BUDDHA AND THE TARA
THE LIFE NERVE
When a desire arose in the Buddha and the Tara to fertilize their ideas, the third projection of the individual ManWoman came about, which is the second projection of the Soul plane, which is the first projection of the mental plane, which is called the fifth dimension or the astral plane.
Fertility is held by the feminine principle.
Therefore, the fifth dimension is also called the feminine sphere, and it
consists of the emotional movements of the masculine and the feminine.
The two graphs below illustrate the movement of the
emotional in all directions and the archetype of the emotional.
This projection is called The Life Nerve because the
emotional gives the direction to the movements of life.
THE GRAPH OF THE LIFE NERVE
THE ARCHETYPE OF THE LIFE NERVE
PASHUPATINATH-SHIVA AND KALI-SHAKTI
When a desire arose to curb the emotions yet another projection took place, which is the fourth projection of the individual ManWoman, which is the third projection of the Soul plane, which is the second projection of the mental plane, which is the first projection of the astral plane.
The fourth projection createdmanifested space and time and is
also called the ethereal plane.
Space is the masculine side of this being, and the archetype of space is
Pashupatinath-Shiva, the destroyer, who breaks down ignorance.
The linear time is the feminine side of this being, and the archetype of the
linear time is Kali-Shakti, the destroyess, who breaks down materialism.
THE SON OF MAN AND THE DAUGHTER OF MAN
The last graph below illustrates the son of man and the daughter of man put together, which is the fifth projection of the individual ManWoman, which is the fourth projection of the Soul plane, which is the third projection of the mental plane, which is the second projection of the astral plane, which is the first projection of the ethereal plane.
PASHUPATINATH-SHIVA AND KALI-SHAKTI GRAPH
THE SON AND DAUGHTER OF
HUMANKIND
INVOLUTION AND EVOLUTION
When a son of humankind and a daughter of humankind have had all their material desires fulfilled and thus have become full of days, a turning point arises in the form of a desire to experience again the bliss of the total merger with one’s other half, and with this desire the migration down through dimensions ends.
This migration is called creationmanifestation, involution, entanglement or the descent of
Spirit into Matter, and the migration back through the dimensions begins.
The migration back to the origin is called dissolution, evolution, untanglement
or the ascent of Matter into Spirit.
HINDUISTIC ARCHETYPES
In India,
spiritual science works with a very vast number of archetypes, where
God is perceived to be the merged masculine and feminine principles,
called Ardhanarishwara, who abides the eight dimension, the Absolute as
pure Spirit and pure Spirits archetype, which consists of the
individual united Spirits and is called the God Realm.
The Souls, who were the first creaturesmanifestations, are called Demigods and
Demigoddesses and abide in various fields of energy according to their
own choice in the seventh dimension as Soul Mates, who consists of the
separated masculine and feminine principle into a ‘he’ and a ‘she’ from
their personal Ardhanarishwara.
When a human being meets his/her Spirit Mate in his/her human life, it
becomes his/her task to approach God by seeing his/her God, his/her
personal Ardhanarishwara in his/her partner, and when that is achieved
by the help of The Four Weddings, it also becomes his/her task to see
his/her impersonal God, his/her impersonal Ardhanarishwara in
Ardhanarishwara’s archetype, who holds everything and everybody
everywhere at all levels of existence.
TuTu taught me many archetypes, but the below five
are fundamental for the spiritual aspirants' perspective on existence.
Ardhanarishwara = halfwoman God = the Manwoman = God
Patiparamishwara = the woman’s God = spouse
Padniparamishwari = the man’s Goddess = spouse
Pashupatinath-Shiva = the destroyer = the male God of
the animal-man and the animal-woman = Shiva/Maheshwara/the greatest God
Kali-Shakti = the destroyess = the female God of the
animal-man and the animal-woman = Shakti/Maheshwari/the greatest Goddess.
EVOLUTION
When a couple’s desire
to merge completely arises, this desire sends an impulse through the dimensions
to exactly that Manwoman who has sent out this couple as a projection of
Himself-Herself, and the Manwoman reflects the impulse by letting it wander
back through the dimensions to both of them as a desire to withdraw all
projections.
Thereby, the two individuals begin to become interested in spirituality, whether they live together
or separate in each their part of the outer or the inner Worlds, and thus they
begin receiving teachings as to how to withdraw all projections from the outer
and the inner Worlds.
SPIRITUAL PRACTICE
In the Master’s teachings, this
takes place as a cleaning of consciousness by the help of transmission,
while at the same time, the disciple cooperates by performing a daily
mental cleaning ritual.
The Master’s disciples also practice contemplation and concentration
followed by meditation on a daily basis to expand their conscious
contact with their Higher Power.
In The Fellowships Anonymous, the withdrawal of projections takes place
through cleaning the consciousness with the help of daily inventories
and by the help of the Two Way Prayer that was coined by the Oxford
movement, which is the origine of The Fellowships Anonymous.
The Two Way Prayer, which is a meditation form, where the spiritual
aspirant writes a question down to his chosen Higher Power and this
he/she perceives as a prayer of guidance.
Then he/she lets the answer rise through the stillness within, and this
he/she perceives as meditation, and he/she writes down the answer to
hold it steady in his/her mind for contemplation.
Besides this, respect of one’s own and others’ emotions, plus
reflection, contemplation, concentration and any form of meditation is
a part of the daily work with expanding the conscious contact with
his/her Higher Power.
GOD’S PRESENCE
TuTu explained that as
a result of this training the spiritual capacity of the person grows, and this
capacity is decisive for the person’s experience of God’s presence.
The lesser the capacity, the more distant God appears
to be to a human being, although God is the
very being of himself/herself and even though he/she is surrounded by God in
all ways, both physical and non-physical.
RETURN TO THE ORIGIN
When the
son and the daughter of humankind return to the origin as the ManWoman,
they behold each other in blissful love with their new delighted eyes
that they have attained in involution, and when all
creaturesmanifestations have withdrawn from matter and the evolution is
thus completed, then at full blast, the cosmic orchestra plays the
music of the spheres, which is the rainbow-colored love movements of
the Menwomen, and in this way, there is joy in eternities' eternity,
until creationmanifestation begins anew as materiel manifestation.
NUCLEAR FISSIONS AND NUCLEAR FUSIONS
TuTu explained that
seen from an Absolute point of view, the energy is constant, and energy
injections and energy deprivations are an expression of one and the same
phenomena – the movements of life, which are also called life’s emotions.
If the movement takes place from the Absolute to the dimensions, for each
projection a nuclear fission takes place, and the result is a deprivation of
energy for Spirit and an injection of energy for Matter.
If the movement takes place from the dimensions to the Absolute,
after a series of quantum leaps, a nuclear fusion takes place, and the
result is a deprivation of energy for Matter and an injection of energy for
Spirit.
THE MOVEMENTS OF LIFE
Changes in the emotional states bring forth the movements of the energies of life.
Emotional conditions consist in four fundamental emotions – love, joy,
pain and fear, and all other emotions spring from these four.
For the creaturesmanifestations love and fear walk hand in hand, because love brings out fear of losing the beloved.
This fear goes all the way back to the beginning of
creationmanifestation when the ManWoman was split into two, a he and a
she and this fear holds the power that makes a person capable of
walking that extra mile that is needed to make difficult tasks in our
love life come out successful, and all other types of fear are misuse
of the energy of this emotion with the purpose of forcing oneself to
use an elevated energy level on a chosen project and is called the
thinking mind, the Ego.
Pain arises when the beloved is lost, and joy arises when the beloved is found.
To meet and to separate and to meet again is therefore a prerequisite
to set the energies of life into movement, and it is also the natural
movement of lovemaking.
To illustrate the movements of the energies, there are two graphs below
illustrating creationmanifestation or our entanglement in matter and
dissolution or our untanglement from matter.
The Two Rings are called the Magical Rings.
The first Magical Ring is called The Ring of the Force of Life, which
illustrates the descent of Spirit into Matter; thus this Ring is also
called The Ring of Matter.
The second Magical Ring is The Ring of the Power of Love, which
illustrates Matter’s ascent into Spirit; thus this Ring is also called
The Ring of Spirit.
THE MAGICAL RINGS
THE RING OF MATTER/THE RING OF THE FORCE OF LIFE
The feminine ring: Involution (The movement is clockwise)
Right symbolizes the force of life. Left
symbolizes the power of love.
By turning clockwise, the linear or
horizontal time, power of love is given off and life force is received.
God the Father says: “Become light” and Goddess the Mother becomes the growth of
Matter
à Limitation.
Goddess the Mother says: “Become manifold” and Goddess the Daughter becomes the form of
Matter
à Mortality.
Goddess the Daughter says: “Become love” and God the Son becomes the nourishment of
Matter
à Powerlessness.
God
the Son says: “Become clean” and God the Father becomes the consciousness of
Matter
à Ignorance.
THE RING OF SPIRIT/THE RING OF THE POWER OF LOVE
The masculine ring: Evolution (The movement is anti-clockwise)
Right symbolizes the force of life, and left
symbolizes the power of love.
By turning anti-clockwise, the spiral or vertical time, life-force is given off, and power of love is received.
Goddess the
Mother says: “Become power” and God the Father becomes the consciousness of the
Spirit
à Omniscience.
God the
Father says: “Become force” and God the Son becomes the nourishment of the
Spirit
à Omnipotence.
God the Son
says: “Become oneness” and Goddess the Daughter becomes the form of the
Spirit
à Immortality.
Goddess the
Daughter says: “Become darkness” and Goddess the Mother becomes the growth
of the Spirit
à Omnipresence.
THE REALMS OF CONSCIOUSNESS IN THE THIRD
DIMENSION
TuTu explained that the
movement of consciousness in the third dimension passes through the outer and
the inner planes of the mineral realm, the plant realm, the animal realm
and the human realm.
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST
When the individual’s
consciousness moves from its outer form in the animal realm to its new outer
form in the human realm, he/she brings deep instinctive experiences with
him/her from the other realms from where his/her consciousness has
grown through various stages and has thus become ready to take on a human form.
Throughout his/her time in the animal realm, the consciousness develops new
forms all the time to find the best-equipped survival forms, and thus
everything in the animal realm revolves around becoming powerful enough to
survive.
Therefore, in the animal realm, might is right.
THE HUMAN RIGHTS
In the human realm,
the consciousness moves through various stages and reaches a solution for
everybody’s survival, and so it no longer revolves around survival of the
fittest here but around achieving the right for all human life forms to survive
– both the fragile and the strong – without them being robbed of the
necessities for survival and without them being persecuted and punished by the
flock because of their choice of life style, as this is a prerequisite for the
development of the ability to discern that everybody have all their desires
fulfilled and thereby get the opportunity to get to know the contents of their
desires.
Thus, in the human realm, might is no longer right, but the right to have one's desires
fulfilled is right.
THE FALL OF MATERIALISM
If a powerful person
desires to usurp more than he/she needs, also such a person has to have his/her
wish fulfilled, but anybody has the right to withdraw from this person if the
person tries to buy one’s life-force to usurp even more by exploiting his/her
neighbor as labor instead of sharing the surplus of their mutual endeavors
with each other.
By withdrawing from this kind of exploitation,
anybody can contribute to such a person discovering for himself/herself as to which
of his/her possessions hold a value for him/her and which are acquired with the
purpose of achieving the power and the glory.
If such a person has set himself/herself up as a
dictator of a nation, humankind can open up to receiving all those citizens
from this nation who don’t want to contribute to the dictator’s attempt to
achieve the power and the glory by offering them dignified and humane living
conditions in another country and thus take away the dictator’s opportunity to
usurp rights over the life and happiness of others by the help of persecutions,
murders, fire and brimstone.
In this way, humankind
can collectively help such a dictator to discover that he/she is neither
greater nor smaller than any other creaturemanifestation, and that his/her desires therefore
are neither more nor less important than that of everybody else.
THE DEVIL AND ALL HIS BEING AND ALL HIS DOINGS
That consciousness
which has just left the animal realm to enter his/her human form, needs time,
in life after life after life, to orientate himself/herself in the new realm
so as to be able to find out which principles are valid here.
The general attitude of this type of consciousness
has made humankind visualize it as a human being with
hooves, horns and tail besides a trident that could be used to attack
others in the struggle for survival.
THE SPHINX
When this consciousness
goes through experiences in the human realm in life after life, the person’s mental abilities become clearer,
but he/she is still influenced by the norms of the animal realm, and
therefore humankind has portrayed this type of
consciousness as the sphinx with a human head and an animal body.
JUSTICE
Gradually, as the consciousness acquires
more and more mental abilities, it gets consumed by system-building
and legislation to secure that both the strong and the weak get the
right to their life style, and thus justice becomes
the goal.
DISCERNMENT
When consciousness comes to realize that justice cannot be achieved solely by the help of system-building and legislation, it begins to seek for love, and thereby the person begins to follow the heart instead of the system and the legislation at those points in time where a conflict arises between the two.
CONDEMNATION
That person who fears
and condemns the expression of consciousness in the form of the person with
horns, hooves and tail thus condemns his/her own roots.
By fearing and condemning this part of himself/herself under many different labels such
as the devil, Satan and Beelzebub, the individual prevents himself/herself from
admitting that the qualities ascribed to the
devil is a part of himself/herself, and thereby this part is pushed under the
threshold of the daily consciousness.
This allows the fear and condemnation to breed and become avarice, envy, hatred
and arrogance, which can grow up as trees in the consciousness and bear many
different fruits such as anger, disbelief, superstition and many other
destructive attributes.
THE TREE OF HATRED AND THE TREE OF LOVE
The graph below
illustrates the growth of two trees in the human mind from their birth to their
full fruition.
In the above graph, the Tree of Hatred illustrates how hatred sprouts forth from a slight disturbance in a person’s life in the form of various emotions like ill will, unkindness, irritation and impatience to denial, manipulation, illness and insanity that lead into a trunk of low self-esteem crowned by hatred.
The soil the tree grows in can be looked at like a situation we encounter, and when we respond to the situation with ill will, unkindness, irritation, and impatience, we give nourishment to the Tree of Hatred.
Likewise, the Tree of Love illustrates how love sprouts forth from a slight movement in a person’s life in the form of various emotions like good will, kindness, calmness and patience to admission, self-acceptance, health and sanity that lead into a trunk of high self-esteem crowned by love.
Again, the soil the tree grows in can be perceived as a situation we encounter, and when we respond to the situation with good will, kindness, calmness and patience, we provide nourishment to the Tree of Love.
GUILT AND INNOCENCE
To condemn oneself and others makes a person feel ashamed of himself/herself and feel guilt ridden about being the way he/she is, but anybody – be it animal man/woman or a saint - are at a stage in their existence which is connected with the extent of their existential experiences that are achieved in life after life.
The animal man/woman and the saint carry out actions, which their existential experiences has given them the impression, will be the most advantageous for themselves and their dear ones.
That animal man and animal woman sometimes carry out actions that are harmful to
the life and happiness of others is, therefore, connected to the understanding
that belongs to his/her existential stage.
That the saint abstains from carrying out such actions is also connected with
the understanding which belongs to his/her existential stage.
Thus, the animal man and the animal woman act from the same motives as the saint and they are therefore equally innocent, and exactly this understanding will eventually lead humankind to forgive themselves and others for being as they are.
THE REDEMPTION
Only when a person
honestly admits to possess that part of himself/herself which is ascribed to
the devil can he/she begin to receive those qualities that he/she attained from
his/her time in the mineral realm, the plant realm and the animal realm,
so as to be able to screen out those qualities they no longer need in their
life as human beings, and thereby achieve their redemption from their shame
about themselves.
THE POWERS OF THE DESTRUCTIVE RINGS
Below are some graphs that illustrate some of the characteristics which can sprout forth by denying one’s time in the other realms.
TuTu called these the destructive rings or the Rings of Pain.
THE POWERS OF THE CONSTRUCTIVE RINGS
Below the destructive
rings are some graphs that show some of the characteristics which can sprout
forth
after the cessation of the denial, and these TuTu called the constructive rings
or the Rings of Joy.
THE TRANSFORMATION
By looking at the
powers of the destructive rings and investigating their effects in one’s own
life and in the World, a person, a society, a country or the World at large can
inventory themselves and thereby find loving, caring,
compassionate and merciful ways of replacing the powers of the destructive
rings with the powers of the constructive rings within themselves, within the society, the country or the World at
large if they so desire.
THE DESTRUCTIVE RINGS
The
big circle is the global ring, which is in force for both the individual and
for the World at large. The smaller circles on the rim of the global ring are
the four regional rings each carrying a destructive interference pattern.
THE RINGS OF PAIN
¯
THE GLOBAL RING OF PAIN
¯
THE NORTH
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): AVARICE
SWING: AVARICE « ENVY
THE SOUTH
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): ENVY
SWING: ENVY « AVARICE
THE EAST
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): HATRED
(Suppressed anger)
SWING: HATRED « ARROGANCE
THE WEST
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): ARROGANCE
SWING: ARROGANCE « HATRED
¯
¯
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): AVARICE
EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:
SWING NORTH « SOUTH: STINGINESS « GREED
SWING EAST « WEST: POVERTY « GLUTTONY
When The Ring of Avarice becomes active in us, we want to receive something materially, physically, space-time wise, emotionally, mentally, socially or spiritually without using our own money, time, energy or interest to get it (Stinginess), and we readily receive anything that we do not have to make an effort to get (Greed) even if we do not need it (Gluttony), while at the same time we feel poor in spite of all the things and advantages we possess (Poverty).
THE RING OF PAIN OF THE SOUTH
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): ENVY
EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:
SWING NORTH « SOUTH: DISBELIEF « SUPERSTITION
SWING EAST « WEST: SUBMISSION «
When The Ring of Envy becomes active in us, we imagine that we
can get what we see others
have without doing anything for it (Superstition), and that there is nobody or nothing who will help
us get what we so desire if we work towards
fulfilling our desires ourselves (Disbelief).
We get angry if someone suggests that we should participate and contribute with our interest, energy, time or money just like others do to get the same as they have whether it is material, physical, time-space wise, emotional, mental, social or spiritual (Defiance), or we submit to various demands that are contrary to our innermost desires hoping that others e.g. God, our spouse, our employer, family, friend etc. will fulfill our desires if only we throw ourselves on our knees and flatter them with sacrificial gifts or words of praise (Submission).
THE RING OF PAIN OF THE EAST
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): HATRED
(Suppressed anger)
EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:
SWING NORTH « SOUTH: DENIAL « MANIPULATION
SWING EAST « WEST: DISEASE « MADNESS
When The Ring of Hatred becomes active in us, we deny our needs and refuse to take responsibility for ourselves, whether materially, physically, space-time wise, emotionally, mentally, socially or spiritually (Denial), and we try in roundabout ways to manipulate others into fulfilling our needs to have it confirmed that we are valuable (Manipulation).
At the same time, we imagine that others fulfill our needs because we are so special (Insanity), and if others do not fulfill our needs, we continue to deny them until we feel so bad materially, physically, space-time wise, emotionally, mentally, socially or spiritually that we get ill from it (Illness).
THE RING OF PAIN OF THE WEST
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): ARROGANCE
EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:
SWING NORTH « SOUTH: SUPERIORITY « INFERIORITY
SWING EAST « WEST: OVERPOPULATION « ISOLATION
When The Ring of Arrogance becomes active in us, we feel above others when our needs are met (Superiority), and below others when our needs are not met (Inferiority).
When we feel we are less than others, we stay by ourselves to hide our vulnerability and our feeling of worthlessness (Isolation), and when we feel we are more than others, we fill up our time and space with people and activities to show off our superiority by the help of the number of people present in our lives and the numerous activities we undertake (Over-crowding).
THE CONSTRUCTIVE RINGS
The
big circle is the global ring, which is in force for both the individual and
for the World at large. The smaller circles on the rim of the global ring are
the four regional rings each carrying a constructive interference pattern.
THE RINGS OF JOY
¯
THE GLOBAL RING OF JOY
THE NORTH:
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): FAITH
SWING: FAITH « HOPE
THE SOUTH:
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): HOPE
SWING: HOPE « FAITH
THE EAST:
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): LOVE
SWING: LOVE « TRUTH
THE WEST:
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): TRUTH
SWING: TRUTH « LOVE
¯
THE REGIONAL RINGS
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): FAITH
EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:
SWING NORTH « SOUTH: GENEROSITY « TRUST
SWING EAST « WEST: PROSPERITY
« ACCOUNTABILITY
When The Ring of Faith becomes active in us, we believe that our Higher Power gives us what we need when we need it (Trust), and we use our Higher Power’s gifts to the full or pass them on to others if we do not find use for them (Accountability).
Therefore we pass on our material, physical, space-time wise, emotional, mental, social or spiritual surplus to others who lack what we have in excess (Generosity), and through these actions, we realize that we do have a surplus to give from (Prosperity).
THE RING OF JOY OF THE SOUTH
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): HOPE
EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:
SWING NORTH « SOUTH: CREDENCE
« INFORMATION
SWING EAST « WEST: DISCERNMENT « SERENITY
When The Ring of Hope becomes active in us,
we have faith in that our desires will be fulfilled if we work for it
(Belief), and that our Higher Power will show us the way ahead (Enlightenment).
Therefore we listen
attentively to the guidance of our Higher Power (Discernment) before moving
ahead along the shown path, one step at a time (Serenity).
THE RING OF JOY OF THE EAST
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): LOVE
EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:
SWING NORTH « SOUTH: ADMITTING « SELF-ACCEPTANCE
SWING EAST « WEST: HEALTH « SANITY
When the ring of love becomes active in us,
we take responsibility for ourselves by fulfilling our needs materially,
physically,
space-time wise, emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually
(Self-acceptance), and we seek the help of others for those needs that we cannot fulfill ourselves by admitting our need for
help to another human being (Admission).
As we fulfill our needs this way (Sanity),
we experience an expansion of wellbeing in all areas (Health).
THE RING OF JOY OF THE WEST
ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): TRUTH
EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:
SWING NORTH « SOUTH: HUMILITY « HONESTY
SWING EAST « WEST: INDIVIDUALITY « FELLOWSHIP
When The Ring of Truth becomes active in
us, we feel that everybody is equally valuable to totality (Humility) even
though we are not able to evaluate the full value of ourselves and others (Honesty).
Therefore, we do not try to evaluate our worth or that of others; instead we seek to find that part in ourselves where we recognize the emotions of others (Fellowship), while at the same time, we accept that we and others may have different reasons to feel the way we do (Individuality).
THE PRAYERS OF THE RINGS
We can choose to use the below prayers to make easier our
personal work with the Rings of Pain and Joy, and also we can use The Smile
Meditation below to intensify this work.
The below prayer is called the Prayer of Pain, because we pray to be liberated
from our use of the Rings of Pain in this prayer.
THE PRAYER OF PAIN
God,
Liberate me from using the pain of my self-important seriousness and make my stay in all of the Rings of Pain short today:
The Ring of Emptiness and thereby emptiness, boredom, meaninglessness and loneliness
The Ring of Self-centredness and thereby self-criticism, depression, euphoria and self-praise
The Ring of Codependency and thereby the saviour, seducer, victim and offender roles
The Big Ring of Pain and thereby avarice, envy, hatred and arrogance
The Small Ring of Avarice and thereby stinginess, greed, poverty and gluttony
The Small Ring of Envy and thereby disbelief, superstition, submission and defiance
The Small Ring of Hatred and thereby denial, manipulation, disease and madness
The Small Ring of Arrogance and thereby superiority, inferiority, overcrowding and isolation
The Miniring of Avarice and thereby pettiness, clinging, malaise and hoarding
The Miniring of Envy and thereby insecurity, confusion, unclarity and wretchedness
The Miniring of Hatred and thereby ill will, unkindness, irritation and impatience
The Miniring of Arrogance and thereby condescension, intolerance, exaggeration and seclusion
The Microring of Avarice and thereby selfishness, hardness, unfreedom and negligence
The Microring of Envy and thereby denigration, incusceptibility, narrow-mindedness and unworthiness
The Microring of Hatred and thereby indignation, vindictiveness, belligerence and bitterness
The Microring of Arrogance and thereby disrespect, craftiness, distortion and separateness
The Nanoring of Avarice and thereby inhibition, nervousness, complaining and indifference
The Nanoring of Envy and thereby uncertainty, uncultivatedness, indecision and rashness
The Nanoring of Hatred and thereby resentment, nnwillingnes, vociferousness and
stiff-neckedness
The Nanoring of Arrogance and thereby insincerity, cunning, unreliability and alienation.
THANK YOU!
The below prayer is called the Prayer of Joy, because we
pray for the capacity to make use of all the Rings of Joy.
THE PRAYER OF JOY
God,
Grant me the capacity to be unpretentious and cheerful, joyful and content and make my stay in of all the Rings of Joy long today:
The Ring of Fulfillment and thereby fulfillment, interest, meaningfulness and oneness
The Ring of God-centeredness and thereby
open-mindedness, empowerment, joy and gratitude
The Ring of Emotional Sobriety and thereby detachment, integrity, respect for
self and respect for others
The Big Ring of Joy and thereby faith, hope, love and truth
The Small Ring of Faith and thereby generosity, trust, prosperity and accountability
The Small Ring of Hope and thereby credence, information, discernment and serenity
The Small Ring of Love and thereby admitting, self-acceptance, health and sanity
The Small Ring of Truth and thereby humility, honesty, individuality and fellowship
The Miniring of Faith and thereby largesse, letting go, wellbeing and sharing
The Miniring of Hope and thereby safety, well-informedness, clarity and nobleness
The Miniring of Love and thereby goodwill, kindness, calmness and patience
The Miniring of Truth and thereby equality, tolerance, accuracy and belongingness
The Microring of Faith and thereby consideration, equanimity, freedom of action and contributing
The Microring of Hope and thereby appreciation, teachableness, openness and worthiness
The Microring of Love and thereby amiability, forgiveness, conciliatory and sweetness
The Microring of Truth and thereby respectfulness, straightforwardness, precision and togetherness
The Nanoring of Faith and thereby approachability, light-heartedness, validation and involvement
The Nanoring of Hope and thereby certainty, cultivatedness, resolution and level-headedness
The Nanoring of Love and thereby acceptance, willingness, quietness and flexibility
The Nanoring of Truth and thereby sincerity, simplicity, reliability and familiarity
THANK YOU!
The below contemplation is called The Smile
Meditation, and in this we use the healing power of our smile together with the
healing power from the central part of our brain’s hormone-producing center,
where the thalamus-, hypothalamus-, pineal- and pituitary gland meet in one and
the same area in the center of our brain so as to become able heal pain both
within ourselves and in the outside World.
This central area of our brain together with the healing power of a smile has
been used by spiritual masters for millennia as an object of contemplation and
has createdmanifested the smiling eyes that are so well known in spiritual masters.
The central area in the brain has been named the cave of Brahma in Hinduism and the Crystal Palace in Taoism.
THE SMILE MEDITATION
1. Sit comfortably with your spine
in an upright position and your head straight in a way that allow the muscles of
your neck and throat to feel relaxed.
2. Take a couple of deep, slow
breaths, noticing how your abdomen rises and falls.
3. Rest the tip of your tongue
gently on the roof of your mouth, somewhere behind and close to your upper front
teeth.
5. Now bring your attention to the space between your eyebrows.
As you rest your attention there, energy will begin to gather and as energy pools there, let your attention drift deeper into that pool - back and toward the centre of your head.
6. Let your attention rest now right in the centre of your brain. Feel the energy gathering in this powerful place.
.
7. Allow this energy gathering to flow forward into your eyes. Feel your eyes becoming "smiling eyes."
8. To enhance this, you can imagine that you're gazing into the eyes of the person you love the most, and they're gazing back at you in the same way ... infusing your eyes with this quality of loving-kindness and delight.
9. Now, direct the energy of your smiling eyes into some place in your body that would like some of this healing energy or to some area in your emotions or your thoughts that would like some of this healing energy, but decide in advance if you want to address a pain in your body or you emotions or your thoughts today and focus accordingly.
10. Let the painful spot absorb the smile energy like a sponge absorbs water. It might be a place where you've recently had an injury or illness. It might be a place that just feels a little numb or "sleepy," or simply some place you've not recently taken care of.
In any case, smile down into that place within your body, your emotions or your thoughts, and observe how that place, that emotion or that thought opens up to receive the smile-energy.
11. When the place is saturated, direct your inner gaze with its smile-energy into your solar plexus center, feeling that warmth and brightness is gathering there now below your breastbone.
12. Release the tip of the tongue from the roof of your mouth and release the smile or keep it.
13. If you wish, you can - in the course of your day - choose to look at life around you with your smiling eyes and your smiling lips and thereby transfer the healing energy of your smiling eyes and your smiling lips to your surroundings, especially if you see a human being or an animal suffering from stress or other painful conditions.
In addition to working with the Prayer of Pain, the Prayer of Joy, and
the Smile Meditation, a spiritual aspirant can choose to work with The
Constructive and The Destructive Rings by the help of Emotional Freedom
Technic by following the suggestions for this work in the book One suggestion to work with The Constructive and the Destructive Rings and their Super Strings for readers of the TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order.
THE SPOKEN AND THE WRITTEN WORD
The first step towards love is honesty towards oneself and others.
The difficulty about honesty consists in that the truth cannot be said or
written.
Truth IS.
No matter how many times a person says or writes the word chair, the
word will never become the chair, and therefore honesty consists in the person
expressing the truth about his/her existential experiences, as they appear to
be to the person right HERE right NOW, while at the same time being fully aware
that his/her image of Reality changes day by day, hour by hour, and that he/she
thus expresses a limited and insufficient image in a limited and insufficient
way.
THE ETERNAL TRUTHS
When spiritual teachers
speak or write about that which is called The Eternal Truths, they also give a
limited and insufficient image in a limited and insufficient way of their
limited and insufficient understanding of how the spiritual dimensions affect
life on Earth, although their limited image was sufficient to expand the understanding of the existential
experiences of the people for whom it was meant at that particular time.
Moreover, these descriptions come from persons from many nations across the
World and they go way back in the existence of humankind, and one can use the
different descriptions to compare narratives through millennia from all parts of
the World and thereby discover that a core is found which repeats itself in all
these narrations, and it is this core which is referred to under the concept The
Eternal Truths.
DISPUTE ABOUT WORDS
Spiritual teachers often use to compare phenomenon from other dimensions with something which is known from the third dimension by most of their contemporaries.
In this way, they try to
give an initial understanding to people who do not
have experiences in the field themselves.
The disadvantage of using parables is that the comparisons get outdated when
the societies develop new habits and new aids, and that many spiritual seekers
enter into endless disputes about words to decide who possesses the correct
understanding.
THE END OF THE DISPUTE
If you want to exchange existential information with others, one-on-one or in groups, you can let everybody who wants to express his/her perspective on a given topic speak and listen to the speaker in silence and without comments.
Then, you can take what is useful to you from the perspective of the others and
let that be which you do not want to make use of, while at the same time, you
understand that even if you cannot use all of the information for something,
others find exactly that information which is useless to you useful for them,
and therefore, all contributions are equally valuable.
HELL
One day, light was shed on the problem of suffering in a conversation between the Master and us.
A disciple asked if hell exists.
The Master laughed and said: "Yes, it is found on Earth. Earth is that place
where sufferings are found everywhere, even if it is sometimes in very subtle
forms."
LIBERATION 1
The Master added that
the minimum goal for those who wish to liberate themselves from sufferings is
to liberate themselves from those dependencies that bind them to Earth and thus
liberate themselves from rebirth to Earth.
This he called liberation.
PAIN VERSUS SUFFERING
This conversation made
me think about pain and suffering, and I came to perceive pain as a short-lived
signal of action and suffering as a prolonged feeling of discomfort
springing from my lack of willingness or capacity to perform the action that the pain
ordains.
THE ETERNAL LIFE
TuTu explained that many years ago the consciousness of The Eternal Life was only present in prophets and spiritual teachers who had the task of guiding humankind.
Today, it is present in many who have memories from their previous
incarnations and in many others who have chosen to have confidence in that
reincarnation is a fact.
Besides, it is possible today for anybody who wants to, to contact his/her
previous lives by doing consciousness-travels on
their own time track and thereby investigate the matter personally.
EX CALIBUR
When I began to come across information
that death is not the end of it all, I dared not believe it.
Even at the time when I traveled into the other spheres of existence and spoke
with departed Souls, I dared not believe that my experiences were real.
In the end, I decided to weigh the pros and cons in taking my experiences to
heart.
If I perceived them to be an expression of an overactive fantasy or downright
insanity, they were out of contact with Reality and therefore worthless, and
then I was a confused person who could not see the difference between Reality
and the unreal.
If I perceived them as an expression of a special capacity to get into contact
with higher dimensions, I was in conformity with Reality, and then I was a
person with a talent.
Last, but not least, these experiences were so enriching that I reluctantly
abstained from them, but exactly that scared me most of all.
If I took them to heart because they enriched my life for the moment, and it
later proved that they were a mirage, then I had wasted my life on something
unreal instead of using it for something better, and thereby, I would be worse
off later than I would be now if I renounced them.
I realized that I was faced with Ex Calibur, the magical sword in the stone,
which is so strongly submerged in the stone that even the biggest giants of the
country cannot dislodge it.
A chosen hero comes to the stone and lifts the sword so easily as if it had
never been stuck.
Ex Calibur is a symbol of the
power of discernment, the stone a symbol of Mother Earth and the chosen hero a
symbol of the one who heroically liberates his/her power of discernment from
the earthbound.
I decided to lift the Ex Calibur, trusting my experiences to be my Higher
Power’s answer to my desire to attain knowledge about death.
THE PHYSICAL DEATH
My experiences gave me the impression that
death is a process where, at first, the dying persons are liberated from the
physical body by the chakras beginning to close from the bottom up, and in this
way, the dying persons get help to leave the body through the crown chakra.
THE JUDGEMENT
When the person moves on, he/she goes through the Gate of Death and then into a special meditation where he/she meets God's Light of Love, is penetrated by it and look at his/her life for two days in this light.
In this phase, joy arises about those times where the
person in question acted in conformity with the insight it gives him/her to
look at his/her actions in The Light of Love, and pain arises about those times
where he/she have not done so.
The pain expresses itself in a heartfelt desire to make amends for those actions
which are not in conformity with love for oneself and one's neighbor.
This is the judgment.
THE RESURRECTION
Thereby, the physical and psychological stages of death are complete, and the departed person goes on to the higher Worlds on the third day.
Normally, the resurrected person begins life in the fifth dimension by teaching
others who are about to incarnate by telling them about his/her experiences on
Earth.
THE ASPIRANT
Besides this, he/she meets his/her spiritual guide and gets an opportunity to express his/her desires for a life to come.
Together, they find out which areas the aspirant wants to work with to have his/her
desires fulfilled.
Perhaps the aspirant remembers his/her experiences in
The Light of Love and expresses some of the desires that arose there.
Beyond this, the aspirant can have a desire for
special circumstances, for example, to become
a beauty queen, an explorer or other special aspiration.
DESIRES
The vast majority remember their
experiences in The Light of Love vaguely or not at all, and thus, they do not
have any special desires other than meeting again with those they loved,
or being successful in fulfilling the unfulfilled desires they had last time
around, for example, getting a business, a house, liberating themselves from
material distress and so on.
But even if they do not remember their desires from their stay in The Light of Love, these desires lie like
seeds in the consciousness of their Spirit that holds all of their experiences together with those desires which cannot be fulfilled in their life to come due to the limitation of time.
All desires appear again, when time is ripe, until all desires are fulfilled.
THE LAW OF MERCY
It is impossible for any human being to make amends for all those actions which the person wants to make amends for by looking at them in The Light of Love, but if a person sincerely repents a given action and therefore does not repeat it any more, or at least does not repeat it in the same way, this person comes under the Law of Mercy, and thereby the slate is wiped clean in context with this particular area for this person.
The Higher Power then connects those who
want to have restoration for the acts of others in their previous lives
with those who want to make amends to others, who do not seek to
achieve it anymore, and thus the Law of Mercy becomes beneficial for all.
PERSONAL CAPACITY
The ideas of the
aspirants as to how they attain the fulfillment of their desires are very different
from each other, depending on their respective capacity to
understand the extent of the acts which are required for the fulfillment of
their desires, but if they do not seek guidance as to how they can have their desires fulfilled in the shortest possible time, there
is nobody who corrects them.
They have all of eternity at their disposal, and it is more important that they
have all their desires fulfilled and all their ideas tested than achieving
their goals in one single life, because they will have all of their desires fulfilled
in the long run anyway.
Sometimes, the aspirants have some desires which
cannot be met, because they don’t have the required capacity to handle the
circumstances that they want to experience.
In such instances, they receive guidance as to how they can develop the
required capacity, and a longer series of incarnations may come into question.
Then, they decide if instead they want to let go of their desire, and with this
the guidance is over.
BACK TO LIFE ON EARTH
The work begins with
finding the appropriate community and parents who are willing to offer the
aspirant the circumstance which he/she wants to experience.
This process can take a short or a long time depending on how special
the desires of the aspirant are, and then, he/she is ready for incarnation.
LIBERATION 2
If the aspirant has had
all of his/her earthly desires fulfilled and therefore does not have any
desires which need be fulfilled on
Earth, he/she has achieved liberation, so unless, at some point, he/she wants
to incarnate on Earth to perform a special task the aspirant’s return to Earth
is over.
Instead, this aspirant’s life continues in the higher dimensions, and the
fulfillment of his/her desires in that context is planned together with the
spiritual guide accordingly.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
TuTu explained that the
prophets of the past passed on their knowledge in the form of injunctions and
prohibitions to protect humankind from straying out onto many wild paths as a
result of the human limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality, but this
is no longer required because the general education of the many
at the present time has reached a stage where it is possible to tell The
Eternal Truths by the help of concepts which were formerly inaccessible to the
many, and thus today the individual person can decide for himself/herself by
considering the advantages and disadvantages of taking the
statements of the prophets to heart.
Therefore,
a revised version of the Ten Commandments follows below, where the word
'commandment' is changed to 'statement', the word 'must' is changed to
'can' and the Commandment of Love: 'You must love your God with all
your heart, with all your Soul, with all your mind and your neighbor as
yourself ”is included as the Eleventh Statement.
THE FIRST STATEMENT
The first statement then read: "You cannot have other Gods/Goddesses than me."
God is perfect and
unconditional love, and when a man/woman meets his/her Spirit Mate, the
perfect and unconditional love comes to life in his/her heart, and thus
he/she becomes able to experience God through his/her own perfect and
unconditional love for his/her Spirit Mate.
IDOLATRY
If a person does not have a conscious contact with his/her Spirit Mate in the outer or inner Worlds, this person has an underlying feeling of existential abandonment and loneliness no matter how many people the person is together with.
Under such circumstances, the person in question may attempt to escape these emotions in various ways, for example, by exclusively being preoccupied with alcohol, drugs, nicotine, food, compulsive spending, sex, romantic relationships, codependency, family affairs, children, work, money, power, prestige, fame, material or spiritual ambitions, or any other activity he/she makes use of to escape these emotions.
Because the feeling of abandonment and loneliness cannot be removed in this way,
in utter desperation, such people may become more and more consumed by their
chosen escape attempts in their continuous attempts to fill the void with more
and more of their choice, until in the end, their choice becomes an obsession
that governs and controls all areas of their lives.
This is called idolatry.
However, a time will come when the addicted person realizes that he/she is
compelled to carry out many actions that he/she does not want to so as to escape
these emotions, without succeeding.
When the person reaches this point, he/she feels compelled to find ways of giving up the chosen addiction and continue his/her search for that which can remove the feelings of abandonment and loneliness.
This search continues until the person attains his/her conscious contact with his/her Spirit Mate, his/her Eternal Beloved either in the outer or the inner World and thereby feels the abandonment and loneliness slowly fade, and thus it is not possible to have an idol as your God/Goddess in the long run
THE SECOND STATEMENT
The second statement
then read: "You cannot make yourself an idol."
When a person enters various addictions, he/she forms an idol, but since only
the interaction between oneself and one's Spirit Mate can fill
the existential void, he/she cannot form an idol and keep it.
THE THIRD STATEMENT
The third statement read: "You cannot misuse the name of your God/Goddess."
Yearning
for his/her Spirit Mate, a person may try to give that love which belongs
to his/her Spirit Mate to someone or something else, but this is an
intermediary solution, because a time always comes when the person
realizes that the intermediary solution does not fill the existential
void, and thus it is not possible in the long run to call anything or
anybody but one’s Spirit Mate for one's God/Goddess.
THE FOURTH STATEMENT
The fourth statement is unchanged: "Remember the day of rest to keep it holy."
TuTu added that the societies have a habit of forcing
its members to work when they need rest, but in doing so you act against the
holy body, because honest citizens feel compelled, subconsciously, to contract
various illnesses to be able to feel that they have earned the right to rest.
It will be an advantage, both to society and to the
individual, if instead, you choose to let the individual decide for
himself/herself as to when and how much rest he/she needs, and at the same
time, consider this need to be holy so that nobody has to harm his/her body by contracting
illnesses that can be avoided.
THE FIFTH STATEMENT
The fifth statement: "Honor your father and your mother" is unchanged.
The parents give the child life, and anybody who gives this gift is entitled to
be met with honor and respect, even if the birth is the only obligation which
the parents have been willing to take on in many cases.
A child who comes into life in this way calls for a united endeavor from
society.
By the help of this child, society can learn to
cooperate about contributing to the flowering of life by providing the maximum
options for such a child who does not have the support of his/her parents during
growth, and in this
way, the life of the child can be a gift to society.
The ideal is a society where everyone feels that all
children belong to everybody, because everybody feels responsible for the
children to thrive knowing very well that the harm you do to children will
rebound on society when the child becomes an adult and begins acting in
accordance with his/her experiences as a child.
Any child knows at heart that the love of a parent is only surpassed by the
love of the only one, and anything the parents do is perceived to be an
expression of love by the child.
When the child grows up, he/she will express his/her
love the way he/she got to know love in his/her childhood, and in the
subconscious mind of the adult who acts in undesirable ways, seen with the eyes
of society, confusion arises and then anger, because nobody seems to understand
his/her expression of love, and no amount of opposition, ridicule or punishment
will stop such a person.
He/she will only try harder and harder to express his/her love, hoping that it
will be understood and appreciated sooner or later.
However, sometimes parents misuse this statement to demand undue respect from their children by demanding obedience from the child rather than teaching the child to follow his/her own heart's guidance.
Trying to usurp authority over the child's fate with this type of demands is a misuse of the parental role as guardian angels for the child.
The child, at all times, has the right to follow his/her own ideas and perceptions of what will make him/her happy, while at the same time, being willing to listen and follow the guidance and advice of the parents, but having the right to respectfully decline the suggestions from the parents, if there is a conflict between the two.
THE SIXTH STATEMENT
The sixth statement read: "You cannot kill."
Life is eternal for everyone, and thus you cannot
kill, but if a person interrupts another person's life on Earth, this person is
called a murderer and his/her action means that the murdered person does not
get the opportunity to execute his/her errand on Earth, and this will not only
affect the murdered person but also all those people who were supposed to
benefit from his/her presence on Earth.
When the murderer himself/herself dies, the moment
comes where he/she has to look at his/her action in the Light of Love, and at
this point, the pain arises because of this action together with a desire to
make amends to everyone involved.
This desire will be fulfilled and this work is enough
on its own, but if society chooses to murder the one who murdered, those
members of society who take upon themselves to sentence
others to death or become murderers themselves, as a
job they perform in their daily lives, will come to look at their
actions in the Light of Love, grieve over them and later have their wish
fulfilled to make amends, because it rests on no one to judge or to take a
life.
HONOR WHERE HONOR IS DUE
However, the condition of life is that we all have to eat by shedding innocent blood, but when we do this, we can receive the gift of life from the being we eat, whether this is a plant or an animal, with the reverence that is due to the one who lets down his/her life for us to live.
THE SEVENTH STATEMENT
The seventh statement
then read: "You cannot commit adultery."
A marriage cannot be instituted by any society.
Such an act exclusively consists in
securing the material well-being of the woman, who is suppressed in
many societies, but now time is ripe where this treatment of women is
coming to an end, and this
gives both the man and the woman the option of leaving a marriage which
is not instituted by God.
The sign that a marriage is instituted by God is that the couple is blessed with a love for each other that is so powerful that it binds the couple to each other with ties so strong that not even they themselves can break them.
In some
cases, two people may marry out of convenience hoping that this union
will lead them to the love residing in their innermost heart, but that
love belongs exclusively to their Spirit Mate, and such a love cannot be
forced by reasons of convenience.
However, anybody has the right to fulfill their sexual needs in whichever way they can as long as it happens without hurting themselves or another.
But only
when one come together with one’s Spirit Mate can one become able to
unite the sexual act with a perfect love, and thus one cannot commit
adultery.
THE EIGHTH STATEMENT
The eighth statement is changed to: "You cannot steal."
One who appropriates something that doesn’t belong to
him/her has to look at this act in the Light of Love and later have his/her
desire fulfilled to make amends to the plundered person and all the others who
were affected by this looting.
THE NINTH STATEMENT
The ninth statement is
changed to: "You cannot falsely accuse."
One who does this will later want to make amends to
the falsely accused, and thus truth will always triumph in the end.
THE TENTH STATEMENT
The tenth statement: "You cannot desire that which belongs to your
neighbor."
Anybody has the right
to desire anything, but if a person desires something which belongs to another,
the fulfillment of the desire will not createmanifest the satisfaction the person hoped
for, and thereby, he/she himself/herself will let go of his/her desire in the
end.
THE ELEVENTH STATEMENT
In the eleventh statement, the word ‘shall’ is changed into ‘can only’ or ‘can’ and the words 'from this stage' are added.
"You can love only your God/Goddess with all your heart and all your Soul and
all your mind, and from this stage you can love your
neighbor as yourself."
Until a person achieves contact with his/her Spirit Mate, his/her Eternal Beloved in the outer
or the inner Worlds, that place in the innermost heart which belongs to
his/her Spirit Mate is experienced as abandoned, and thus the person is
not able to love of all his/her heart and all his/her Soul and all
his/her mind.
When a person achieves contact with his/her Spirit Mate in the outer or the
inner Worlds, his/her heart is purified of all false conceptions of God.
Eventually, this leads the couple to The Spiritual Wedding, during which a merger takes place in the Absolute, and thereby, he/she become able to love his/her God/Goddess with all his/her heart and all his/her Soul and all his/her mind, and from this stage, he/she recognizes himself/herself and his/her Spirit Mate in everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence, and in this way, he/she becomes able to love his/her neighbor as himself/herself.
THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF TUTU
The below photograph of
TuTu is one of a series of four and has been createdmanifested by him, by him posing in front of a mirror
and letting the flashlight from the camera createmanifest the light phenomenon on his
heart, while at the same time, a spot of light reflected from his watch became
the spot of light on his forehead.
It took him four attempts to make the spot of light on the forehead find its
exact place.
It illustrates a principle, which is true for all of us.
The photographs of his hands were taken on the photocopying machine in Sundholm
and show the lines in his palms for anybody who would be interested in studying
those.
HARISHCHANDRA TUTU
LIKE THE MOON REFLECTS THE LIGHT
OF THE SUN
THE EMOTIONS REFLECT THE LIGHT
OF THE THOUGHTS
TUTU’S HANDS
THE PERSONAL
ANGER AND REVENGEFULNESS
I kept wondering why the Master had not accepted that I had the right to be angry with my co-travelers, who had left without asking the rest of us if we wanted to come along.
One day, I came across a guideline in one of his books, which read: "Don't
be revengeful about mistakes done by others. Receive them in gratitude as
heavenly gifts."
This, I thought, was disadvantageous and unfair.
I had learned that when somebody committed a mistake, they could learn to stop making mistakes if somebody punished them for it; so according to my perception, it was not only my right but also my duty to punish the others if I wanted to be a good person, and at the same time prevent the mistakes of others to be taken out on me in the future.
Later, I became able to take the Master’s suggestion to heart by choosing to work
on changing the emotions and thoughts that arise in me when I think that others
have made a mistake, instead of demanding that others must change in conformity
with my perception of the right thing.
If I discover that I was materially, physically, energetically, emotionally, mentally, socially or spiritually harmed by the mistakes made by another, I used this information to decide how to avoid getting myself into a similar situation in the future and then acted in accordance with that.
ARROGANCE 2
It made a deep impression in me that I had cried from shame about my arrogance and my impatience during the Master’s morning sitting.
When I came back to
When I observed them, I tried to fight them, but a number of years passed
before I realized that I could not get rid of them by deciding that they were not
allowed to be there, and they did not go away just because I suppressed them or denied them.
Since I did not know
what else to do, I began praying a couple of times every day, to be granted
learning as to how to become humble and patient.
That went on for a couple of years after which I was
whirled into many dramatic events that eventually landed me in Narcotics
Anonymous.
Until then, I had connected humility with humiliation, and therefore I thought
that I had to make myself small and submissive if I wanted to become humble.
Now, I was told that I had to find that place within me where I felt that I was neither
more nor less than others if I wanted to achieve my goal.
I had thought that it was arrogance when I
felt that I was more than others, but not that it was also so when I
felt that I was less than others.
Then, I was told that I had
to first accept possessing the feeling of arrogance to be able to investigate
under which circumstances it arose and what results I achieved from the actions
I did under the influence of my arrogance.
Now that I knew what goal I had to strive for, I began investigating the issue.
First, I searched for an intellectual stand, where I could accept that I was
neither more nor less than others.
I found this when I spotted the paradox that I was unique and that it was
totally common to be so.
If I placed my thumb on something, there was not one fingerprint
in the World similar to mine, and so I was unique, but so was everybody
else!
Then, I investigated
when my arrogance arose.
My feeling of being less than others became
particularly predominant if I spotted the beauty and qualities of others,
or if others got more attention from the people I wanted to get attention from.
If others behaved in ways that I thought implied that they considered me to be
nothing, particularly if it was people whom I secretly admired, or if they were
figures of authority, I got angry and revengeful, but I thought they were right.
I was nothing.
When, for some time, I had felt that I was nothing, I shook it off by thinking
that if others really knew me they would discover that, in Reality, I was
better than most.
At this point, I found various reasons that supported this perception.
If others expressed that they found me better than most, I became suspicious of
their motives.
I believed that they said so to console me, because, in Reality, I was less than most, or because they wanted something from me, or else I thought that this was due to the fact that they didn’t really know me.
Now, I could see that I was in an endless swing in the pendulum of arrogance from more than to less than others and back again.
I kept asking myself why it was so important for me to compare my size
with that of others, and what it was that I had to be for myself to
think
that I was good enough as I was, until I discovered my most secret
thinking.
I had to be good enough for the prince on the white horse.
Secretly, I waited for him to come and take me in his
arms and ride away with me, away from all the dull and gray, and then we were
going to get married and live happily ever after, but for him to choose me I
had to be better than others.
Yes, actually I had to be better than a real princess.
I had long since forgotten this dream, because I
thought it was too embarrassing that I was so childish, but nevertheless, this
hope lived in best of health, as a shadow under the threshold of my
day-consciousness.
THE FEMALE ARCHETYPE OF THE SPIRITUAL WEDDING
In my opinion, the
fairytale of the prince on the white horse is an archetypal description of that
couple that wish to return to
the Absolute love, seen from the feminine perspective.
In this fairytale, the prince always prefers a poor
girl with a pure heart, which he finds nobler than
the one he finds in the real princess he is expected to marry.
The prince shows up in her life because of a strange coincidence of events
which are outside both his and the girl’s control,
and she had not even considered that it is now that
something great is about to happen, namely the meeting with her one and only.
The prince is the only one who discovers that the poor girl is his heart’s chosen one.
Everybody else expect that he will marry the real princess, and his love for
the poor girl is met with great resistance by the environment.
Sometimes, he forgets her when he returns to the castle.
This can make her take into use the magical powers which she is already equipped
with, or which she receives in a mystical way and that suits her purpose, which
is to make the prince remember her.
Sometimes, a curse is thrown on the prince when he returns to the castle, but
the poor girl understands that he is bewitched and finds ways of reaching him
anyway.
In certain instances, she transforms herself into an animal.
The animal approaches him in some way or the other, and now he remembers the
poor girl, begins to look for her and finds her in the end.
Sometimes, it happens that, at first, the prince comes in the form of a toad,
but her heart knows that he is not an ordinary toad, and when she kisses him in
spite of his repelling and unacceptable condition, he transforms into the
prince she is waiting for.
Sometimes, she sleeps for hundreds of years, while she is waiting for him to
come and wake her up.
The environment exposes their love to incredible
hardships, but because of mystical and unusual intervention in events, they
overcome all opposition and all troubles in the end.
The prince takes her with him to his castle.
A big wedding is held, and they live happily ever after.
INTERPRETATION OF THE ARCHETYPE
As I understand it, the symbols of the fairytale describe the energies that play
together in the archetype so as to bring about the Spiritual Wedding.
The prince symbolizes the love that recognizes his one
and only even in a depleted state.
The poor girl symbolizes the one who doesn’t have anything to offer, which
justifies his choice.
The mystical unplanned circumstances that
cause their meeting are a symbol of the Higher Power’s steering of events, and their
meeting is a symbol of the meeting with the true great love.
That he forgets her at his return to the castle shows his attachment to his habitual environment.
That a curse is cast upon him shows that which hinders him in seeing clearly.
Her magical powers show the qualities of character that she has developed.
The activation of her magical powers illustrates the activation of her hidden
and apparent qualities of character to reach the
goal, which is to make the prince remember her.
The mystical events that come to the rescue of the
couple, when it all is about to go wrong, illustrates the help of the Higher
Power to the couple.
That she reaches to him in spite of the curse
symbolizes the power of penetration of her love.
Her transformation into an animal is a symbol of her use of her deepest
instincts to reach him.
To kiss the toad illustrates
her ability to recognize the only one behind repulsive and unacceptable
appearances.
The resistance of the environment shows the
contribution of the World towards the purification of their love.
That she sleeps for hundreds of years shows that even if he is long in coming,
only the meeting with him is of interest to her.
That the prince takes her with him expresses his definite choice.
The big wedding symbolizes the Spiritual Wedding.
That they lived happily ever after symbolizes their immersion in God’s Light of
Love, until creationmanifestation begins anew.
THE MALE ARCHETYPE OF THE SPIRITUAL WEDDING
Seen from the masculine
perspective, his fairytale is that he is a poor boy who doesn’t have anything
to offer a princess.
Many in the country court the princess and show many
good qualities, but she is not interested in any of them.
Sometimes, he sees the princess for the first time because she is out among the
ordinary people in his town, and he senses immediately that she is his only
one.
When he decides to court her, everybody thinks that he is an ignorant fool for
thinking that a princess would want him, and sometimes, he cannot get access to
the castle to meet her, but because of mystical coincidences he succeeds in
getting in anyway and in proposing.
Sometimes, the
princess says yes immediately, because he shows special qualities which
others do not find attractive but which are to the special liking of the
princess, and they marry.
It happens that the environment interferes in the situation with curses and bewitches, which leads the couple astray.
Sometimes, she exposes him to various tests to see if he is the one she has
been waiting for.
Sometimes, the king
is not interested in having him as a son-in-law unless he shows unusual
courage, unusual power of action, unusual wisdom or unusual strength, and
therefore, first he has to kill a dragon which is pestering the realm or find
a magical treasure that nobody else can get hold of and bring it to the king.
Sometimes, a dragon
has captured the princess, and the king has promised her and half the realm
to the one who frees her.
He sets out in confidence of his destiny, but
sometimes he gets problems.
Then, it may happen that a being turns up in a mystical way and helps him by
providing him with magical powers or magical things.
In the process, he develops the required qualities, passes all the tests and wins the princess in the end.
A grand wedding is held, and they live happily ever after.
REDEMPTION
Through self-investigation, I found out that I had made a decision as a child, which, until now, was lying like a shadow under the threshold of my day-consciousness together with the hope that the prince would come to marry me.
I had decided that I might as well make myself ready while I was waiting so as
to make sure that he chose me.
A proof that I was ready was that I had a more noble heart than a
princess.
I was not able to evaluate the condition of my heart, but if others
confirmed that I had a noble heart, it had to be true, and then I was ready.
As there was nothing indicating that others found my heart nobler than that of
others, I had to change.
If I changed that which I or others did not like
about me, if I became better in doing this or that, if I thought in a different
way, felt in a different way, acted in a different way, then others had to
confirm that my heart was noble, and if everybody agreed on it, the prince also
had to be able to see it.
Since I now knew why it meant so much to me to be better than others, I
investigated how the things I did worked, and realized that exactly my
arrogance and impatience were the properties which separated TuTu and me over
and over again, and the actions I had done under the influence of these
emotions had cost both me, him and others much pain.
I was seized by pain when I faced all of this, but
when the pain subsided, I became grateful
that I no longer had to fight to achieve a confirmation from others indicating
that I had a heart that was nobler than that of a princess.
My heart was good enough.
It needed not be better than the heart of others, because the goal of my heart had been to become the bride of the prince.
TuTu was my prince, and he had found the qualities of my heart good enough to
make his definitive choice and lead me to God’s Sacred Altar, to enter into his
Spiritual Wedding with me.
IMPATIENCE
Only after I worked through the two spiritual programs suggested in this book did I realize that when I took my arrogance into use, it meant that all of the four powers in the Big Ring of Pain became active in me, because they constitute one mental-emotional pattern.
Thus, I discovered that avarice, envy and hatred are companions of my arrogance
together with all the defects of character described in the Small Rings of Pain.
Besides these all the other defects of character that are companions to the
defects of character in The Big Ring of Pain, such as the Small Rings-, the
Minirings-, the Microrings and the Nanorings of Pain also arose in me, as these
Rings are like a Chinese box system and thus I became aware that my usage of the
mental-emotional pattern in the Big Ring of Pain lead to my irritability and
impatience that belongs in the Miniring of Hatred with its ill will, unkindness,
irritation and impatience.
Until I realized this, I considered my irritability and impatience to be
comparatively innocent flaws in my character but now I discovered that, in
Reality, they led to my usage of the Small Rings of Pain, The Big Ring of Pain,
the Ring of Codependency, the Ring of Self-centeredness and the Ring of
Emptiness upwards and the Microrings- and the Nanorings of Pain downwards.
I also had to face the fact that it was from my use of these mental-emotional
patterns that all my existential pains sprang, and however unpleasant it was to
admit that I possessed these defects of character, it was necessary for me to do
so, so as to be able to begin observing them and their consequences.
By the help of my observations, I discovered that a desire was always to be
found at the root of any of my defects of character, and that when I denied
them, I actually cut off myself from discovering what I wanted innermost, not to
mention having that desire fulfilled or choosing to let go of it.
At the same time, the concept of defects of character became a neutral concept
for me in the same way as I did not have any painful emotions by the thought of
a defective radio, because I realized that this concept only expressed that I
used a defective mental-emotional pattern, that is, a pattern which does not
work according to intention - the intention always and without exception being
of a loving, caring, compassionate and merciful nature - in an attempt to have a
desire fulfilled which I was not even aware of having.
When I began acknowledging my use of my defects of character, I became aware
that my defects of character hold information about myself and my existence,
which I cannot get access to in any other way than acknowledging them,
investigating them, taking to heart the message they hold.
However, it took me completely by surprise that it was the pain in my defects of character that led me to spiritual enlightenment, because I realized that as long as everything in my life went smoothly, I did not stop to think about my existence, but when I encountered resistance whether it sprang from painful emotions from within or from opposition in my surroundings, I paused to investigate more thoroughly the cause for this.
At first, I thought that I had to find the root of the pain or the opposition, so as to rid myself of these pains or overcome this resistance.
After having worked on this issue for quite a while with this motive, I discovered that I believed I had to rid myself of the pain and the opposition, because I judged the pain and the opposition on a foundation of good and evil.
If instead, without judgments on good and evil, I redeemed myself by finding out the desires at the root of the character defect and used the Rings of Joy to begin the work of fulfilling those desires or letting go of them, I succeeded more often in having my desires fulfilled or letting go of them, while at the same time, it happened in a way where I felt a deep satisfaction about the accompanying emotions and thoughts.
DEMONS
After I had found a way to work around my defects of character, at long last, the concept of demons fell into place in my psychological landscape.
For a long time, the concept of demons had appeared scary to me, but when, at
long last, I acknowledged my defects of character and compared them to
descriptions of demons, I realized that the concept of demons is used to
symbolize the various characteristics and their consequences, which are also
described in the form of the defects of character found in the Rings of Pain.
When I acknowledged my defects of character instead of suppressing or denying
them, I discovered that all these terrifying demons turned out to be frightened
little children inside of me who had a desire that they could not find out how
to get fulfilled, and out of sheer fear, they hit out in all directions without
knowing what they were doing.
Hence, I needed to take these little children – my defects of character, by the hand and guide them by the help of all the wise and mature sides of myself – my inner angels, so as to find a solution to their problems in a way that neither hurt them nor others in the process.
Also, I realised that the outer demons, that is resistance and opposition from the outer World, are not real.
They are projections of my own inner demons.
For example, if I was arrogant in my approach while asking for help from another
human being, I am, in fact, calling out the demon of hatred in the other person
as arrogance and hatred are twins in the Big Ring of Pain, and the other person
will feel no impetus to help me out when he/she is in the state of hatred, and I
am thus cut off from receiving the help that I need.
If I then chose to see this resistance as a sign of ill-will from the other person, I had chosen to demonise the other person instead of lovingly taking care of my own demon, my arrogance, and thereby being able to approach others with humility, when I needed their help.
SUDARSHAN CHAKRA
As a result
of this inner purification work, I also became able to use Sudarshan chakra, which,
in my opinion, is the divinely simplest way of working on my defects of
character on a daily basis.
In the holy trinity of Hinduism they have three male gods: Brahma, Shiva and
Vishnu and their wives Saraswati, Parvathi/Kali and
Lakshmi.
These three gods or archetypes are also called: The
Creator, The Destroyer and The Maintainer, and their wives are perceived to be
Shakti or the manifestation of the qualities of their husbands.
Vishnu, The Maintainer, descends on Earth from his Divine
abode and takes on a human form when humankind is in need of spiritual guidance
of a Divine nature.
When Vishnu takes on his human form, he is also subjected to the conditions of a
human being, and that means that also he is limited, ignorant, powerless and
mortal and thereby fallible, but since Vishnu knows this prior to his descend,
he brings with him his whirling ring of power, which lights up his inner World
just as brightly as the sun lights up the outer World,
and he uses it in his human life to neutralize all inner and outer demons.
This bright, whirling ring of power is called
Sudarshan Chakra.
I have chosen to give Sudarshan chakra a name that is
more easily understood by me and have therefore called it The Ring of Fulfillment.
It is the antidote to The Ring of Emptiness.
THE HIERARCHY OF THE
ARCHETYPICAL RINGS
Below the Hierarchy of the Archetypical Rings is shown in order from the highest to the lowest.
Highest in this Hierarchy the Ring of Emptiness and the Ring of Fulfillment is to be found.
In Greek mythology the Ring of Emptiness is called Pandora’s Box.
Pandora’s Box is said to bring all the sufferings of the World to the one, who opens the box, and it is perceived to be the origin of all our defects of character.
In the Fellowships Anonymous the Ring of Fulfilment is called the God Box and i Hinduistic mythology it is called Sudarshan Chakra or the Sun Wheel.
The God Box is said to bring all the blessings of the World to the one, who opens the box, and it is perceived to be the origin of all of our virtues.
THE RING OF EMPTINESS AND THE RING OF FULFILMENT
Second in this hierarchy is the Ring of Self-centeredness and the Ring of God-centeredness.
THE RING OF
SELF-CENTEREDNESS AND OF GODCENTEREDNESS
When I use
The Ring of God-centeredness, I choose to refrain from criticizing myself for
the mistakes I think I have committed today, thereby avoiding bringing
depression into being within myself.
Instead, I choose to open my mind to new ideas, as to how I can neutralize my
mistakes or transform them to successes, whether the new ideas spring from
inside or outside of me, and thereby I achieve an empowerment that makes it
possible for me to come closer to the solution of my problems.
Instead of
praising myself for the successes I think I have achieved today and thereby creatingmanifesting
a short-lived euphoria or elation about how good I think I am, I choose to
focus on my gratitude, because my inner guides or the people in my environment
were willing to help me by thinking empowering thoughts on my behalf and thus
helping me neutralize my failures or transform them into successes.
When, in that way, my failures are neutralized or transformed into successes, joy arises within me that this was possible because of my Fellowship with others both in my inner World and my outer World.
Third in this hierarchy are the Ring of the Saviour Complex, also referred to as the Ring of Codependency, and the Ring of Emotional Sobriety.
THE RING OF CODEPENDENCY AND OF EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY
Fourth in the hierarchy are the Big Ring
of Pain and the Big Ring of Joy.
THE BIG RING OF PAIN AND THE BIG RING OF JOY
The graph below with the many Rings illustrates the connections between the Big Rings of Pain and Joy with their corresponding Small Rings.
The various colours in the graphs illustrates a defect of character with its corresponding virtue in the same colour, thus showing that it is the same energy that is held in both, but the defect of character is the unenlightened or immature and dysfunctional stage of the energy and the virtue is the fully enlightened or mature and functional stage of the energy
THE BIG AND THE SMALL RINGS OF PAIN
THE BIG AND THE SMALL RINGS OF JOY
The undergrowth in the Ring of Emptiness and the Ring of Fulfillment is the Ring of Self-centeredness and the Ring of God-centeredness.
The undergrowth of the Ring of Self-centeredness and the Ring of God-centeredness is the Ring of Codependency and the Ring of Emotional Sobriety.
The undergrowth of the Ring of Codependency and the Ring of Emotional Sobriety is the Big Ring of Pain and the Big Ring of Joy.
The undergrowth of the Big Ring of Pain and the Big Ring of Joy is the Small Rings of Pain and the Small Rings of Joy.
The undergrowth of the Small Rings of Pain and the Small Rings of Joy is the Minirings of Pain and Joy.
The undergrowth of the Minirings of Pain and Joy are the Microrings of Pain and Joy and the undergrowth of the Microrings are the Nanorings as shown in the below graphs with the tables that comes after the two graphs.
If one pulls the corners of the graphs below the text becomes clear.
THE BIG
RING, THE SMALL-, MINI-, MICRO- AND NANORINGS OF PAIN
THE BIG RING, THE SMALL-, MINI-, MICRO- AND NANORINGS OF JOY
TABLE OF THE BIG RINGS, THE SMALL RINGS, THE MINI-RINGS, THE MICRO-RINGS AND AND THE NANO-RINGS OF PAIN (HORIZONTAL) AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS (VERTICAL OR DIAGONAL)
|
THE FOUR BIG RINGS OF PAIN AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
|
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
The Ring of Emptiness |
Emptiness |
Boredom |
Meaninglessness |
Loneliness |
|
The Ring of Self-centeredness |
Euphoria |
Depression |
Self-criticism |
Self-praise |
|
The Ring of Co-dependency |
Savior-role |
Seducer-role |
Victim-role |
Offender-role |
|
The Big Ring of Pain |
Avarice |
Envy |
Hatred |
Arrogance |
|
THE FOUR SMALL RINGS OF PAIN AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
|
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
Avarice |
Stinginess |
Greed |
Poverty |
Gluttony |
|
Envy |
Disbelief |
Superstition |
Submission |
Defiance |
|
Hatred |
Denial |
Manipulation |
Disease |
Madness |
|
Arrogance |
Superiority |
Inferiority |
Overcrowding |
Isolation |
|
THE FOUR MINI-RINGS OF PAIN AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
|
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
Avarice |
Pettiness |
Clinging |
Malaise |
Hoarding |
|
Envy |
Insecurity |
Confusion |
Unclarity |
Wretchedness |
|
Hatred |
Ill will |
Unkindness |
Irritation |
Impatience |
|
Arrogance |
Condescension |
Intolerance |
Exaggeration |
Seclusion |
|
THE FOUR MICRO-RINGS OF PAIN AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
|
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
Avarice |
Selfishness |
Hardness |
Unfreedom |
Negligence |
|
Envy |
Denigration |
Insusceptibility |
Narrowmindedness |
Unworthiness |
|
Hatred |
Indignation |
Vindictiveness |
Belligerence |
Bitterness |
|
Arrogance |
Disrespect |
Craftiness |
Distortion |
Separateness |
|
THE FOUR NANO-RINGS OF PAIN AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
|
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
Avarice |
Inhibition |
Nervousness |
Complaining |
Indifference |
|
Envy |
Uncertainty |
Uncultivatedness |
Indecision |
Rashness |
|
Hatred |
Resentment |
Unwillingness |
Vociferousness |
Stiff-neckedness |
|
Arrogance |
Insincerity |
Cunning |
Unreliability |
Alienation |
|
THE FOUR BIG RINGS OF PAIN AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
|
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
The Ring of Emptiness |
Emptiness |
Boredom |
Meaninglessness |
Loneliness |
|
The Ring of Self-centeredness |
Euphoria |
Depression |
Self-criticism |
Self-praise |
|
The Ring of Co-dependency |
Savior-role |
Seducer-role |
Victim-role |
Offender-role |
|
The Big Ring of Pain |
Avarice |
Envy |
Hatred |
Arrogance |
|
THE FOUR RINGS OF AVARICE AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
AVARICE |
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
The Small Ring |
Stinginess |
Greed |
Poverty |
Gluttony |
|
The Mini-ring |
Pettiness |
Clinging |
Malaise |
Hoarding |
|
The Micro-ring |
Selfishness |
Hardness |
Unfreedom |
Negligence |
|
The Nano-ring |
Inhibition |
Nervousness |
Complaining |
Indifference |
|
THE FOUR RINGS OF ENVY AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
ENVY |
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
The Small Ring |
Disbelief |
Superstition |
Submission |
Defiance |
|
The Micro-ring |
Denigration |
Insusceptibility |
Narrowmindedness |
Unworthiness |
|
The Nano-ring |
Uncertainty |
Uncultivatedness |
Indecision |
Rashness |
|
THE FOUR RINGS OF HATRED AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
HATRED |
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
The Small Ring |
Denial |
Manipulation |
Disease |
Madness |
|
The Mini-ring |
Ill will |
Unkindness |
Irritation |
Impatience |
|
The Micro-ring |
Indignation |
Vindictiveness |
Belligerence |
Bitterness |
|
The Nano-ring |
Resentment |
Unwillingness |
Vociferousness |
Stiff-neckedness |
|
THE FOUR RINGS OF ARROGANCE AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
ARROGANCE |
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
The Small Ring |
Superiority |
Inferiority |
Overcrowding |
Isolation |
|
The Mini-ring |
Condescension |
Intolerance |
Exaggeration |
Seclusion |
|
The Micro-ring |
Disrespect |
Craftiness |
Distortion |
Separateness |
|
The Nano-ring |
Insincerity |
Cunning |
Unreliability |
Alienation |
TABLE OF THE BIG RINGS, THE SMALL RINGS, THE MINI-RINGS, THE MICRO-RINGS AND THE NANO-RINGS OF JOY (HORIZONTAL) AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS (VERTICAL OR DIAGONAL)
|
THE FOUR BIG RINGS OF JOY AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
|
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
Ring of Fulfillment |
Fulfillment |
Interest |
Meaningfulness |
Oneness |
|
Ring of God-centeredness |
Joy |
Empowerment |
Open-mindedness |
Gratitude |
|
Ring of Emotional Sobriety |
Detachment |
Integrity |
Respect for self |
Respect for others |
|
The Big Ring of Joy |
Faith |
Hope |
Love |
Truth |
|
THE FOUR SMALL RINGS OF JOY AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
|
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
Faith |
Generosity |
Trust |
Prosperity |
Accountability |
|
Hope |
Credence |
Information |
Discernment |
Serenity |
|
Love |
Admitting |
Self-acceptance |
Health |
Sanity |
|
Truth |
Humility |
Honesty |
Individuality |
Fellowship |
|
THE FOUR MINI-RINGS OF JOY AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
|
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
Faith |
Largesse |
Letting go |
Wellbeing |
Sharing |
|
Hope |
Safety |
Well-informedness |
Clarity |
Nobleness |
|
Love |
Goodwill |
Kindness |
Calmness |
Patience |
|
Truth |
Equality |
Tolerance |
Accuracy |
Belongingness |
|
THE FOUR MICRO-RINGS OF JOY AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
|
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
Faith |
Consideration |
Ease |
Action-freedom |
Contributing |
|
Hope |
Appreciation |
Teachableness |
Openness |
Worthiness |
|
Love |
Mercy |
Forgiveness |
Conciliatory |
Sweetness |
|
Truth |
Respectfulness |
Straightforwardness |
Precision |
Togetherness |
|
THE FOUR NANO-RINGS OF JOY AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
|
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
Faith |
Approachability |
Light-heartedness |
Approval |
Involvement |
|
Hope |
Certainty |
Cultivatedness |
Resoluteness |
Level-headedness |
|
Love |
Acceptance |
Willingness |
Quietness |
Flexibility |
|
Truth |
Sincerity |
Simplicity |
Reliability |
Familiarity |
|
THE FOUR BIG RINGS OF JOY AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
|
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
Ring of Fulfillment |
Fulfillment |
Interest |
Meaningfulness |
Oneness |
|
Ring of God-centeredness |
Joy |
Empowerment |
Open-mindedness |
Gratitude |
|
Ring of Emotional Sobriety |
Detachment |
Integrity |
Respect for self |
Respect for others |
|
The Big Ring of Joy |
Faith |
Hope |
Love |
Truth |
|
THE FOUR RINGS OF FAITH AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
FAITH |
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
The Small Ring |
Generosity |
Trust |
Prosperity |
Accountability |
|
The Mini-ring |
Largesse |
Letting go |
Wellbeing |
Sharing |
|
The Micro-ring |
Consideration |
Ease |
Action-freedom |
Contributing |
|
The Nano-ring |
Approachability |
Light-heartedness |
Approval |
Involvement |
|
THE FOUR RINGS OF HOPE AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
HOPE |
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
The Small Ring |
Credence |
Information |
Discernment |
Serenity |
|
The Mini-ring |
Safety |
Well-informedness |
Clarity |
Nobleness |
|
The Micro-ring |
Appreciation |
Teachableness |
Openness |
Worthiness |
|
The Nano-ring |
Certainty |
Cultivatedness |
Resoluteness |
Level-headedness |
|
THE FOUR RINGS OF LOVE AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
LOVE |
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
The Small Ring |
Admitting |
Self-acceptance |
Health |
Sanity |
|
The Mini-ring |
Goodwill |
Kindness |
Calmness |
Patience |
|
The Micro-ring |
Mercy |
Forgiveness |
Conciliatory |
Sweetness |
|
The Nano-ring |
Acceptance |
Willingness |
Quietness |
Flexibility |
|
THE FOUR RINGS OF TRUTH AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS |
||||
|
TRUTH |
North |
South |
East |
West |
|
The Small Ring |
Humility |
Honesty |
Individuality |
Fellowship |
|
The Mini-ring |
Equality |
Tolerance |
Accuracy |
Belongingness |
|
The Micro-ring |
Respectfulness |
Straightforwardness |
Precision |
Togetherness |
|
The Nano-ring |
Sincerity |
Simplicity |
Reliability |
Familiarity |
EGO DEATH
Besides this, at long last, I achieved the ego death.
When I became acquainted with this concept, I imagined it to mean that all my defects of character would disappear in one stroke one day when time was ripe, almost like a miracle like it happened to TuTu on his way to Katmandu, but in my case, it merely happened by my identification with my thinking mind, my Ego slowly stopped and instead I identified myself with my true Self, my Spirit.
DREAM INTERPRETATION
Over the years, I tried to learn something about dreams
and I often returned to the dream I had the first time I visited the Master, to
find out what its message was.
Gradually, as I
learned something about symbols, and due to the events that transpired at the
same time, I realized that my first interpretation had been very limited and
had led to various misunderstandings.
Now, I did a
re-interpretation of the dream seen through the eyes of the new knowledge I had
acquired.
To me, the Master was an expression of God’s universal and impersonal love for
me as it expressed itself in the platonic love-relationship between the Master
and me, and the handsome young man who stepped out of the Master’s form was
TuTu, who was an expression of God’s individual and personal love for me as it
expressed itself in the sexual love-relationship between him and me.
The Master’s farm was a symbol of the Soul plane, the Divine plane, which I
left together with TuTu.
The bath with the other
young woman in the bathtub was a symbol of the cleansing I had to go through in
connection with TuTu’s love for his childhood love.
The arousal of my sexual feelings for TuTu symbolized the activation of my
power of manifestation, which was required for me to be able to write this
book.
The Master cleansed the Master, so the young handsome
man stepped out, symbolizing that my relationship with the Master was a
preparation for my meeting with TuTu, who would step into my life as a result
of my relationship with the Master.
After we left the Divine plane, we walked on the high edge, which illustrated the spiritual aspirant’s walk on the sword’s edge, which is the balancing point between the earthly and the spiritual.
The land symbolized the earthly and the ocean symbolized the spiritual, the
shop my mind and the strange things in the shop the contents of my mind.
The mirror that I thought to be magical was a symbol of my need for
confirmation from others, and the temptations were my desires.
The disappearance of the young man showed that he died.
The castle symbolized The Fellowships Anonymous, and the man in the wheelchair
a sick person, who scared me at the arrival there but who would disappear
because of my own actions.
The prince symbolized the consciousness of TuTu, also called the existential
state of the unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy – the existential
state of the Absolute consciousness.
The bride of the prince symbolized Mother Earth.
That he was yet a child symbolized that the consciousness of the principles in
TuTu were ripening.
The
representative of the prince, who took care of the bride and the realm
till the prince had become an adult were the 12 Step Programs of the
Fellowships Anonymous that were acting as the maintainers of the
fertile soil until the new level of existential awareness had become
accessible in the form of The TuTu Doctrine – The New World Order and the two 12-Steps Programs Active Addictions Anonymous – The Wild Life and Christs Anonymous – The Thirteenth Step as two spiritual paths within the 12 Step paths that could be taken up by anybody, who wanted it besides A Course In Miracles.
The deep sleep of the intermediary symbolized the
lack of knowledge in The Fellowships Anonymous about the principles in TuTu.
The realm was a symbol of the human realm and the bride of mother Earth.
That it wasn’t the right thing for me to become the bride of the prince
symbolized that I was only a single flower in the garment of the bride.
Returning to the Master’s farm symbolized my return to the Divine plane.
My wet socks symbolized mistakes committed.
The last bath symbolized the cleansing that took place through my Step Work with the two 12 Step Programs suggested in The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order with The TuTu Doctrine – The New World Order itself and with A Course In Miracles, the original.
The clean, white, long cotton dress showed simplicity and purity from top to
bottom.
The Master’s lack of attention at my return showed that I had only done my duty to my own desires.
To sit in front of the Master again symbolized my return to God’s universal and
impersonal love for me.
To sit among the other disciples symbolized humility, and the sigh of relief
that my goal was achieved.
To close my eyes and slide into meditation symbolized
that I had gone through the ego-death and thus slipped into the direct
experience of Reality.
TUTU, THE MASTER OF THE MASTER
According to my interpretation of this dream, my interaction with the Master was thus a preparation for my meeting with TuTu.
This, I felt, was confirmed by TuTu, when he told me that he had taken on a life just ahead of his present one to prepare our meeting in this life by creatingmanifesting that system of meditation which the Master got the task to pass on, and he had thus been the Master of the Master.
He had createdmanifested the system to createmanifest the right
conditions to catch me in the West and bring me to the East, to meet him there.
When I began meditation under the guidance of the Master, I was told that the
Master himself had a Master who was dead now.
The Master’s Master had performed the unusual feat of achieving his individual
and personal Self-realization in the course of seven months.
Besides, he revived the Pranahuti process.
Shri Krishna had used the Pranahuti process when he performed his spiritual
work, of which the most renowned example took place when he taught Arjuna in
the battle of Mahabaratha.
However, The Pranahuti process had been extinct for
so long that many thought it never existed, and therefore only few people
gathered around the Master’s Master.
When the Master met his Master, he was seized by an inextinguishable love for
him, and his Master opened some channels in him and a few other disciples which
made it possible for them to perform the Pranahuti process, which consists in
transmission of higher states of consciousness straight into the heart of the
disciple.
When the Master of the Master died, the
Master was chosen to pass on the process, and this process had indeed caught me
in the West and brought me to the East, where I met TuTu.
A LIST OF LITERATURE THAT
MADE AN IMPACT ON MY PERSONAL UNDERSTANDING OF EXISTENCE
A COURSE IN MIRACLES, THE ORIGINAL, SEEN THROUGH THE EYES OF THE PRINCIPLES OF THE TUTU DOCTRINE – THE NEW WORLD ORDER, SCRIBE HELEN SCHUCMAN OG EDITOR WILLIAM T. THETFORD
A COURSE IN MIRACLES , COMPLETE AND ANNOTATED EDITION BY CIRCLE OF ATONEMENT, SCRIBE HELEN SCHUCMAN AND EDITOR WILLIAM T. THETFORD.
ACTIVE ADDICTIONS ANONYMOUS - THE WILD LIFE - ACTIVE ADDICTIONS ANONYMOUS, WSO
A NEW EARTH – ECKHART
TOLLE
A YOGI’S MEMORIES – YOGANANDA
BASIC TEXT – NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS
CHRISTS ANONYMOUS - THE THIRTEENTH STEP - CHRISTS ANONYMOUS, WSO
CITY SHAMAN – SERGE
KING
DEATH AND THE DYING – ELIZABETH
KÜBLER ROSS
DET TREDIE TESTAMENTE – MARTINUS
DIANETICS – L. RON HUBBARD
FLIGHT INTO FREEDOM – EILEEN
CADDY
FRACTALS – TELEVISION PROGRAM
ABOUT MANDELBROT'S EQUATION
GODS IN EVERY MAN – JEAN
SHINODA BOLEN
GODDESSES IN EVERY WOMAN – JEAN
SHINODA BOLEN
I NEED YOUR LOVE – IS THAT TRUE? – BYRON KATIE
IT WORKS HOW AND WHY – NARCOTICS
ANONYMOUS, WSO
JORDEN DØR UDEN KÆRLIGHED – BIRGIT KLEIN
KAHUNA HEALING – SERGE
KING
LIBERATION OF CONSCIOUSNESS – JES
BERTELSEN
LIFE AFTER DEATH? – NILS
OLE JACOBSON
LIFE AFTER LIFE – RAYMOND
MOODY
LOVING WHAT IS – BYRON
KATIE
MEMORIES AND LETTERS – C.G. JUNG
MY MASTER – P. RAJAGOPALACHARI
NO MORE CODEPENDENCY – MELODY
PHILIP’S GOSPEL –NAG
HAMMADI LIBRARY
PRINCE VALIANT – (CARTOON
SERIES IN WEEKLY MAGAZINE)
REALITY AT DAWN – RAM
CHANDRA
70 INCIDENTS OF REINCARNATION – IAN STEVENSON
TEN COMMANDMENTS – RAM
CHANDRA
THE ACTIVE SIDE OF INFINITY – CARLOS
CASTANEDA
THE ART OF DREAMING – CARLOS
CASTANEDA
THE FIRE FROM WITHIN – CARLOS
CASTANEDA
THE
THE HOLY GRAIL – MALCOLM
GODWIN
THE INNER WEDDING – LINDA
SHIERSE LEONARD
THE MASTER GAME – ROBERT
DE ROPP
THE NEW TESTAMENT – JOHN,
MATTHEW, LUKE, MARK
THE POWER OF NOW – ECKHART
TOLLE
THE TAO OF PHYSICS – FRITJOF
CAPRA
THE WAY OF THE SHAMAN – MICHAEL
HARNER
TOMAS’S GOSPEL – NAG
HAMMADI LIBRARY
TOWARDS INFINITY – RAM
CHANDRA
TRUTH ETERNAL – RAM
CHANDRA, FATEHGARH
VOICE REAL – RAM CHANDRA
THE 22
DOCTRINE 3
THE SEVENTH DIMENSION
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
THE SOFTENING OF THE STONE HEART
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
THE MASCULINE AND THE FEMININE:
LOVE
THE EARTHLY WEDDING
THE FEAR OF LOVE
When I came back to
I was used to focus on an inner image of the Master
at those times and tried to brush aside the uninvited image, but that was only
possible for short moments.
I remembered the dream where I left the Master’s farm
together with the young man, and I thought that maybe this had got something to
do with what was happening.
I worried about it because I was not interested in leaving the Master to follow
this young man only to discover later that it had been a mistake and therefore I
would regret it.
In the end, I felt so bewitched by the phenomenon that I decided to write a
letter to the Crown Prince.
He had met TuTu and might be able to tell me if,
perhaps, he had some special qualities that made it possible for him to intrude
on me against my wish.
He answered that one should be careful not to mix the love of God with the
earthly love, and besides, it could only be decided if it was love if it led to
marriage, otherwise the relationship had to be termed lust.
I was dissatisfied with the answer because I did not think that the phenomenon had got anything to do with love and had wanted him to put a stop to it or tell me how I could do it myself.
I decided to write a letter to the Master instead even if he had not met TuTu.
I wrote that I had met him in
I feared that the wind took me away from him, and as I did not want that, I
would now leave the case in his hands.
A preceptor was about to go to
After coming back she told me that he had read it immediately.
"This is a very good letter," he then said and kept it with him for
some time before he took it to his room.
When he came back, he still had it with him and stuck it under the cushion on his chair before he sat down again.
At the same point in time that she mentioned she had given the letter to the Master,
I was vacuum-cleaning when I suddenly felt a whirl of
transmission in the living room and sat down to meditate.
The whirl moved through me for 3-4 minutes, after which it disappeared.
When I heard about his reaction and compared
it with my experience, I was convinced that he had both the will and the power
to take care of the issue, so it was now in
the best of hands, and with this, I calmed down.
A couple of days later, I received a letter
from TuTu where he wrote that he doubted he would succeed in coming to
Besides, he wasn’t sure he wanted to because after I left, he had become so
energy-less that he had fallen ill; so now he
had come to believe that I had cast a spell on him
and sat like a spider in my web waiting for my prey.
I was so hurt by his perception of me that I had to lie down on my bed.
I thought that he had decided to stay in
A prayer streamed through me on its own accord that
he must come to
Startled, I observed myself and mustered all my willpower to add: "Though,
your will be done."
However, it rang so powerless internally that my
fear did not decrease.
Shortly afterwards, I received a letter from TuTu’s
father, who wrote that he hoped I would receive his son well when he
came to Denmark, and in the beginning of august 1978, at long last, I was to
pick him up in the airport.
THE SPIDER
Twenty years later, I had an inner experience with a spider myself, and I was also frightened at first.
However, when it was explained to me, I became glad that he had experienced me
in that way.
My experience took place in one of my shamanic travels.
They took place after TuTu’s death and consisted in me going into my consciousness like in a dream in the night, but with the difference that I was awake while dreaming.
Like in a dream in the night, or like in the three-dimensional Reality for that
matter, events developed in known or surprising ways.
At that time, the Master had been dead for 14 years, but I traveled to meet him
in the inner World to thank him for having suggested me the task of writing
this book.
When I began my inner travel, my Power Animal – my
jaguar Kava, Goddess the Mother, God the Father and TuTu waited for me
at the departure place.
I told them my traveling purpose, and Goddess the Mother stepped forward, took
me in her arms and ascended through the clear air, higher and higher, until I
suddenly got a glimpse of the Master and finally saw him fully.
I also spotted TuTu, who stood in the background on his left-hand side.
I told the Master my errand.
He did not say anything, and I added that I would
like to hear if he had something to say, which I could use as a guideline in
the future.
He still did not answer.
I did not know what to do next and threw a fast
glance at him.
TuTu had disappeared, but instead, I spotted a big
black spot on top of the Master’s left thigh.
When I took a closer look at it, I discovered that it was a black spider with long
hairy legs, a tarantula.
It lifted its forelegs towards me, and when I saw its
mouth, I got scared and shrank away.
"Divine Mother, remove this fear," I prayed.
The fear disappeared.
Again, I looked at the spider and maintained my
calm even if it came towards me, while at the same time becoming bigger and
bigger.
It poured itself over me and glided down and around
me so that I was completely enveloped by it.
Then, it became very tiny and fell down on the ground.
From here it jumped up on my chest, sank into my heart, became a small dot, disappeared,
became visible again and turned its back against my back.
Then, it grew again until it filled out my chest.
My inner travel ended, and the shaman told me that
the spider is the symbol of that being who
gathers all the threads of the Universe in a
perfect pattern.
This made me realize that my experience meant that the threads of the Universe
had gathered in a perfect pattern in my heart, and in the following years,
gradually, I experienced the realization of this travel through the change in
my perspectives.
DRACULA
On another occasion, both TuTu and I had an experience with
another scary creature.
It was about that archetype which is called the vampire or Dracula.
In the physical body, the heart is considered to be the Holy of Holiest because
it is God’s abode and thus the seat of the unconditional love, care, compassion
and mercy, and blood is considered to be the holiest because the blood passes
through the heart and brings life to the whole body, and blood is thus an
expression of that love, care, compassion and mercy which is conditioned by the
power of the heart and then assigned to passing it on.
When the vampire sucks the blood out of his/her victim, he/she therefore sucks
the life-giving force of the holiest out of the person in question.
My experience took
place in a dream where I was on my way up a broad staircase that led up into
the Heavens.
When I had come up some distance, a figure dressed in a black cloak stood
there, blocking my way up.
It was TuTu.
Even if I could not see his teeth, I knew he was Dracula.
I got frightened and ran down again, but when I came to the foot of the
staircase, he was waiting for me there.
I ran up the stairs again, but a bit higher up he stood yet another time
blocking my way.
When I woke up and thought about the dream, my sexual feelings arose, and a joyous shiver went through me, because I could not avoid him whether I ran up or down the Heavenly ladder.
I reproached myself and thought that there had to be something wrong with me
when I was so enthralled by TuTu that I did not want to avoid him, even if my
dream had revealed that he was a monster.
In an accusing tone of voice, I told him about my dream, but he looked happy and
reminded me that he had a similar experience ten years earlier, where
he had a vision of me as a vampire with long pointed purple nails and tusks.
He had become frightened by his vision too, but in the meantime he had
investigated the issue.
He had found out that when love for the beloved is powerful, fear could rise that love would overpower him/her to such an extent that he/she lost his/her own willpower and was transformed into a zombie whose life energy is sucked out by the vampire, because the he/she could not resist his/her urge to serve her love in ways that were contrary to his/her own desires.
This meant that when a person met this archetype in his/her inner World, the person was involved in the great, true love that exists between Spirit Mates, and thus I understood that both TuTu and I felt the same, and that his joy sprang from the fact that my scary dream had revealed my love for him.
TUTU’S BEING
TuTu’s being mystified
me from the beginning, and over the years, I had many different ideas as to who
he was.
When we turned off the light to go to sleep on his
first night in
At first, I thought
that the Master had decided to charge him with the same power that he himself
radiated, so as to help me not to lose my contact with him.
That did not appear unlikely to me because I had
read in one of the Master’s books that the saints of
the past sometimes infused vibrations into a wooden or stone sculpture, which
then radiated this power up to a couple of hundred years afterwards for the
benefit of people who were not able to relate to an abstract concep of God.
If that was possible, then why not this?
At a later point, I had some dreams during a visit at the Master’s, and they made me change my point of view.
In one case, I dreamt that TuTu walked among a big group of the Master’s disciples and helped them with various problems.
The Crown Prince walked by his side and received teachings.
At some point, they came over to me, and I told TuTu about a round spot of
psoriasis that I had on my shin.
TuTu explained something to the Crown Prince, and a moment later the psoriasis
began to grow into a bigger and bigger lump, and in the end, a kind of body
separated from me, fell down on the ground and was lying there, writhing in
death struggle.
A disciple came over to TuTu and asked a question.
He looked gently at her and said in a soft
tone of voice: "This is sheer folly,"
indicating with loving gentleness that what she asked was pure nonsense, but at
the same time, he understood that she just
needed to connect to him, and they both went with
her.
In the meantime, the form on the ground dissolved but for a very small part that swooped back into me.
In the course of a fortnight my psoriasis healed, and that made me think that the dream was an event in the inner World, which now had expressed itself in the outer World.
I also thought that my dream showed that TuTu was
going to
be the Master’s successor, because it was he who taught the Crown Prince and
not the other way around.
In the other incident, I dreamt that we were an infinite stream of disciples who walked together on a long road towards the Master in the far away distance.
By my side walked my friend from the Master’s group of disciples in
Suddenly, I saw TuTu
standing on a balcony on the right hand side of the road, elevated above the stream
of disciples that passed by the balcony, and I understood that he was the true
Master.
I turned my head to tell that to my friend
and discovered that she and the others still had their gaze turned towards the
far away distance.
This dream made me
think that I was the only one who discovered that TuTu was going to be the
Master’s successor, and when the Crown Prince took his seat after the Master’s
death, it came as a shock to me.
For a long time, I
thought that my being in love with TuTu had made my spiritual sight unreliable,
until I realized that although he was not the
Master’s successor in the other disciples’ lives, he was in mine, and then I began trusting my spiritual sight again.
However, Reality superseded my wildest imagination when he told me that he was the Master’s Master in his previous incarnation.
However, this information appeared to me to be too fantastic for me to be able to believe in it, and so eleven years passed by before I was able to take this fact to heart.
When my heart answered my question to myself as to whom I considered him to be by answering that he was the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, I could not believe that either, and I absorbed this information in small bites too.
The absorption took place by me constantly asking myself for a number of years:
"If that is true, then why does he do this or why does he say that?"
For every answer I came up with, one of my illusions was broken down as to what
it meant to be the Master of Masters when he lived on Earth,
and I understood why Jesus emphasized again and again that he was a son of man.
THE NECESSITY OF PAIN
It was a bitter pill to swallow that TuTu’s
pains were as real as everybody else’s, because I hoped that, in some way or another,
it would be possible for me to rise above the pains of life if only I changed
enough, but now I had to realize that when even the Master
of Masters could not avoid the pain of life, it was likely that it was
not possible for me and everybody else either.
Only when I faced this, I came to accept
the pains of life.
When the acceptance
occurred, I realized that the pain of life is not only a necessary part of
existence but also an advantageous one.
What would otherwise prevent me from sitting down on a steaming hot object?
THE EVIL I DID NOT WANT…
Another part of my hope
that he did not suffer in Reality was connected with the pains I had inflicted on him in our marriage, but
when the blinds began to fall off from my
eyes, I was inconsolable.
I pondered on how it happened that I too had
contributed to his pains in spite of all my intentions to the contrary, and I
realized that my interaction with him in the spiritual field had impressed and
overwhelmed me to such an extent that I was not able to take it seriously when
I saw his human limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality.
On one hand, these sides of him brought forth my deepest feelings of
togetherness and tenderness, and on the other hand, they gave rise to the
little tiffs and big clashes of daily life, but at the same time, I perceived
them to be some kind of play-acting on his part, and it was many of those
actions I had done with this attitude that pained me now.
When I remembered what he often said whenever I felt repentant about
unwillingly having harmed him: "Love is to never have to say you are
sorry," my pain began to lift, because I perceived
this phrase to be his way of stating that he knew I acted
out of love for him, and the damages I brought forth were due to my ignorance
rather than a desire to harm him.
However, I had to work a lot with the problem before it became possible for me
to forgive myself.
THE PHYSICAL DEATH OF JESUS CHRIST
I had to swallow yet
another bitter pill in this process, because I had
hoped that what I learned in my childhood was
correct, that Jesus was not subjugated to the physical death so that TuTu could
materialize for me in flesh and blood after his death.
I had never read the Bible myself, but now I decided to read The New Testament
to get confirmed that my desire could be fulfilled.
When I read about Mary Magdalene’s meeting with Jesus
in front of the tomb, it occurred to me that Mary would have recognized Jesus
immediately if he had appeared before her in flesh and blood, and so in my
eyes, this event was a channeling, and therefore, Mary only became aware that
it was Jesus who spoke to her through the mouth of the gardener when he
pronounced her name with that particular sound and intonation which Jesus used
to use, and which the gardener could not know.
I think the same goes for the disciples’ meeting with him at the fisher boat,
because they would not have had to discuss afterwards if it had been him or not
if he had looked like he used to.
The only narration which describes that he looked like he used to is the story
about their meeting with him behind closed doors.
In shamanic travels, however, it is possible that a group travel together in
the inner Worlds and experience the events together in the same way as when a
group in the third dimension experiences something together on a travel in the
outer World, and therefore, I think that it was with their astral ears and eyes
that they heard his astral voice and saw his astral body.
How would it otherwise be possible for him to appear in the room without coming
in through the door like all other physical beings?
In the same way, I believe it was with their astral ears and eyes that they
heard his astral voice and saw his astral body when he came to their rescue by
walking on the water on his way to their boat when it was thrown around in the
stormy weather.
Therefore, after finishing my reading, I gave up my hope that TuTu would
materialize for me in flesh and blood, but instead, I began hoping that my
spiritual capacity would become so well developed that I would be able to hear,
see and experience him just as clearly as if he was physical, like the
disciples had done.
A DREAM VISION
My spiritual vision was not particularly well developed when I was awake and conscious.
I saw the images as transparent forms and in a very
airy way, in the same way as filmmakers portray spiritual phenomena to separate them from the secular.
After my reading of the Bible, I complained to TuTu
about the lack of density in my inner images when I saw him in this transparent
form in the course of the day.
A couple of days later, I had a dream in the night.
I dreamt that we were lying, sleeping together, like we used to do while he
lived here on Earth.
In the dream, I woke up because he put his arm across
my head so I could see his hand and part of his arm in front of my face that
was turned away from him in my sleep.
I removed his arm, but a moment later, it was there again.
"Harish, take away
your arm. I can’t sleep when it is lying there," I said.
He woke up halfway and said: "Ok, I’m sorry,"
and pulled his arm back, but a moment later it was there again.
"If you don’t keep your arm away from my head, I’ll bite your
fingers," I said irritated.
He pulled his arm back, but a moment later it was there again, and I let action
follow words.
He woke up and said gently but with an
undertone of hurt: "Ouch, why did you do
that?"
I always became repentant when I heard the gentleness in his voice after having
hurt him and said: "I’m also sorry about that, but I really can’t sleep
when you put your arm on my head all the time."
"Ok, ok," he said and dropped off to sleep again, but a moment later
his arm was there again.
I woke up from my dream, sat up in the bed
physically speaking, turned around towards him and
said angrily: "Harish, I’m telling you......."
I stopped abruptly by the sight of the empty space in the bed.
An intense joy went through me because he had responded to my wish of
experiencing him as clearly as if he was physical, but I also felt embarrassed
that I had bitten him.
When I saw him the following day, as transparent as I used to, I said to him
with my inner voice: "I thought it would be a blissful experience to be
able to see you and feel you as clearly as if you were physical, but instead it
was an embarrassing story where I bit your fingers."
"I had to irritate you a bit to make you
remember the experience because we are actually together every night, while
you’re asleep. You don’t remember when you wake up because our being together
is so harmonious," he said.
INITIATION 2
One day, a short time
after his arrival in
I said that the Master had already initiated me but he
answered:
“Yes you are indeed, but the Master only
possesses the bright tone of
I possess both the bright and the dark tone.
I have seen your face when you meditate.
You look intensely sad, and I don’t want to see you
sad whenever you meditate.”
I agreed to be initiated again, and the same evening he took out a chillum,
which he had made from soapstone.
He began carving a face on one side, and after a couple
of hours, it began looking like me.
Gradually, as the time passed, I got sleepy, and my eyes began blinking.
He stopped carving: "Are you going to sleep now?"
"I’m so sleepy," I said.
"That’s all right," he gently said and put his knife away.
There was something in his tone of voice which
made me open my eyes and shake off my sleepiness.
I managed to stay awake for the rest of the night, while he finished the
carving.
On the front side of the chillum, he had carved my face and my eyes, and the
third eye on my forehead was carved vertically.
He carved an
Both the third eye and
In the end, he decorated the carvings with delicate green, red and blue colors.
A
He took out incense sticks and two candles and put
them on the chest of drawers.
Then he took out clean clothes for both of us, and in
the end, he picked up clean towels.
"Now, we are going to have a shower," he said.
After the shower, we went into the living room, where he lit the candles and
said that it is good for the spiritual health to have living lights lit.
Then he lit the incense sticks, held them in his hand,
and rotated them circling around the two candles while saying: “One becomes two
becomes three becomes many…”, and then we sat down opposite each other.
He began chanting OM in such a sonorous resounding way
that I had only experienced a similar sound in a dream I had had once at the
Master’s farm, where I woke up immediately after and tried to imitate the sound,
because I was told in the dream that I should sit up and try to chant what I had
heard, but at that time I could only produce a frail and broody sound.
After a few moments, I followed my impulse to join in, and to my joy, the sound
streamed from my lips in as sonorous resounding as the way TuTu’s chant.
Slowly, he let it fade.
"Start meditation on
When I began meditating, my body jerked, and I remembered that I had hidden from him that I had
a contagious skin fungus, which produced some small white spots on my skin.
I opened my eyes and said: "I'm sorry to interrupt the meditation, but I
have hidden something from you, which I should have told you."
"That’s all right. What is it?" he asked.
"I have fungus."
"Is it contagious?"
I wringed, ashamed: "Yes."
"Is there anything else?"
"No."
"That’s all right. Continue the meditation."
When I closed my eyes and began meditating
again, my body jerked yet another time and I remembered an event that had
happened recently.
One day, he gave me a flower in a flowerpot, but a couple of days later, it had a white fungus on the green leaves.
In a teasing manner, he asked me why the plant
had fungus, as if it was my responsibility.
I thought it was a strange way of asking, but said that it probably had got too
much of water, but he kept teasing me about it.
Now, it occurred to me that he had known my secret all along.
My cheeks became warm from embarrassment.
In the future, I’d better hurry to tell him if I came to think of something
which I felt he ought to know.
I sank into deep meditation, and when it was over, he had made the chillum
ready and asked me to light it.
He struck four matches all at once, and they flared
up dramatically.
He held them over the chillum to give me light, and when I sucked in the smoke,
he chanted in a loud and humorous tone of voice: "BUM ShivaShakti
Shambhu," as if he thought that something or the other was incredibly
funny.
The power of the mantra shook me for a moment, and I stifled from fear.
After smoking, we were to make love, and in the end,
I made breakfast.
While I made the food, I asked him many times what the time was, because I had
to be at work at
It proved that time almost stood still, like when I was with the Master, so I
gave up keeping an eye on time and instead I surrendered to what I was doing.
We ate peacefully and calmly, and first after that, I
looked at the clock again.
It was time to go to work.
THE SEED OF LOVE
Later, I investigated
the content of the concept of ideas of this ceremony, and then I realized what I had already
felt, namely that it were great powers that had been activated in this initiation.
Nyasa means to apply the energy of dawn with the
purpose of transferring power to an aspirant during initiation, and TuTu kept
me awake the whole night for this purpose.
The shower and the clean clothes represented cleansing
and the two lit candles the eternal fire of the masculine and the feminine
principle.
He had chosen incense sticks with the fragrance of musk, which is the distinctive characteristic
of Lord Krishna.
Lord Krishna is that archetypal sphere of consciousness in the seventh
dimension which radiates The Seed of Love.
To achieve the
The lower
heart is the uterus of love, and when the lower
heart is emptied of all other
desires but the desire for love, The Seed of Love can penetrate to impregnate The Egg of Love.
After the impregnation, it is the person’s own task to allow the embryo to
grow, so that love gradually gets to fill up the whole of the lower
heart.
THE DIVINE INCARNATION
Humankind’s craving for
love can release an impulse
so that one individual and personal consciousness among those who have
their permanent abode in the seventh dimension lets
himself/herself be born on Earth in flesh and blood, coming out directly from a
given sphere in the seventh dimension, for example, from the Lord Krishna
sphere, and therefore charged with its energy combination.
Such a person is a Divine
incarnation, called an Avatar in Hinduism, a Bodhisattva
in Buddhism, a Wali in Islam and an Angel in
Christianity, because he/she is coming from the
Divine plane, the seventh dimension, and not from the fifth dimension which is
the incarnation point for people who have various personal desires they want to
have fulfilled by taking birth in the third dimension.
The fifth dimension is also the incarnation point for
newly liberated people who have liberated themselves from desires in the third
dimension but want to return to undertake various types of charitable social
work to relieve the sufferings here.
However, gradually as their development progresses,
they are also liberated from returning to the fifth dimension, which means,
they get further and further removed from the affairs of the third dimension,
and it thus takes a special impulse before a descent can take place from the
seventh dimension, not to mention from the entrance of the Absolute.
When a descend takes place for the first time, the energy combination of the
Earth is changed, and thereby it becomes easier for
the subsequent individual and personal
consciousnesses from various fields of consciousness
in the seventh dimension to incarnate on Earth, and thus today, there exists
numerous avatars on Earth with the purpose of participating in the creationmanifestation of
the New World Order.
THE INITIATION OF THE EARTH INTO THE SEED OF LOVE
The first individual and personal
consciousness who succeeded in emerging straight from the field of Lord Krishna,
the seed of love, in the seventh dimension was born in the Yadu Dynasty in India
and got the very name of Krishna.
The descend became possible because 16,000 people were found on Earth with open and empty lower hearts, who craved for love.
They did not meet him personally, but in one and the same day, he transmitted
The Seed of Love into the lower heart of all 16,000 by the help of the Pranahuti
Process in the same way as the Master transmitted to my heart, even if he was in
India and I in Denmark.
Posterity said about Shri Krishna that he married 16,000 women the same day.
However, this should not be taken literally.
The lower heart, both in men and women, is the uterus of love, and its open and
empty condition is the holy yoni, the literal yoni being the
female sexual organ, and both men and women are thus women to Lord Krishna, whom
Shri Krishna represented.
Previously, the atmosphere of the Earth had received The Seed of Love as subtle
irradiation, but on this occasion, the Earth got a direct injection of The Seed
of Love by the help of Shri Krishna and the 16,000 fertilized lower hearts,
which now contained The Seed of Love, and thus, the energy combination of the
atmosphere of the Earth was changed.
Later, others of the individual and personal consciousness descended from this field to Earth in the form of various Avatars, Prophets, Saints and Sages to shower the impregnated lower hearts with renewed energy and to infuse The Seed of Love into those lower hearts that had become ready in the mean time.
THE EARTHLY LIVES OF THE AVATARS
Both Shri Krishna himself and the other
Divine incarnations had their personal earthly lives besides their spiritual
work, and just like all other creaturesmanifestations in the third dimension, they were limited, ignorant, powerless and mortal, but
because their personal radiation and spiritual work was a mystery to their
contemporaries, many stories sprang up describing them in a way that gave the
impression that it was possible to be in a human form without being submitted
to a human being’s conditions, and thus many imaginative concepts arose about
the life of the avatars as human beings.
THE 144,000 CHOSEN ONES
Slowly, over time, many large and small events transpired, gathered in my mind, and made me believe that TuTu was the same individual and personal consciousness who once descended to Earth as Shri Krishna.
However, this time he descended from the sphere of consciousness called TuTu.
TuTu contains both the Absolute’s power of creation in the form of The Seed of Unconditional
Love, Care, Compassion and Mercy, and the power of manifestation in the form of
The Egg of the Unconditional Love, Care, Compassion and Mercy.
For TuTu to be able to descend to Earth charged with the energy combination of
the field, it was required that the original 16,000 men and women had expanded
their capacity for love to also include their neighbor, by the help of the
compassionate capacity of love that springs from that sphere in the seventh
dimension which is called Christ, and that their number had increased minimum
nine times the original number.
This number is required for the principle of morphic resonance, popularly known
as ‘the hundredth monkey’, to come into play.
The principle of morphic resonance states that when a certain number of
individuals from a specific species, for example, monkeys, have achieved a
specific skill, it spreads to the whole species even if the individuals haven’t
been in contact with others from whom
they could have learned it.
When a specific number of people possess love, care, compassion and mercy for
those who suffer, this quality will spread to the whole species from that point
where the critical mass is achieved – in this
case 144,000 – and at the same time, humankind
put together becomes powerful enough to bring forth a descend from the entrance
of the Absolute.
Today, humankind holds these 144,000 love-filled and compassionate
hearts, and the descend has taken place.
As described in the Bible, the descend ushers in a new Heaven and a new Earth.
This happens because the descend makes a more
exact description of the contexts of the dimensions, seen with earthly eyes, accessible,
and this means that spiritual science will reach new heights and change the
outlook of the many.
A sign that the descend has taken place is the news that The Spiritual Wedding
of the descended and his other half has taken place, and at the same time, this
news holds the promise
that these 144,000 will soon stand in front of God's Holy Altar, to enter into their own Spiritual Wedding with their other half.
By the help of the
power of their unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy for each other, they
enter into the Absolute and thereby they become immersed in God’s Light of Love
until the beginning of a new creationmanifestation.
Before these 144,000 return home, they will share
with others the information about their own personal and individual experiences
both on the way to the wedding and in connection with the wedding itself.
The more such narrations that come forward, the more
perspectives become accessible, and the more people will recognize themselves
in these narrations.
Thus, wave after wave will follow in their footsteps
until all have returned to the Origin, and the evolution thereby has come to an
end.
POWER PLANTS
The contents of the chillum for the ceremony was Indian hemp, which contains medicated expansion of consciousness, mixed with tobacco, the sacred plant of the Red Indians, which was used in their peace processes because of the medicated serenity it gives.
Both at this and other times, the sacred plants, the tobacco, the Indian hemp,
the opium Popeye, the grape, the coca bush and the hop just to name a few, were
essential contributions to my inner enlightenment, because they opened up doors
of my consciousness which could not be opened in any
other way in my case.
These plants are called power plants in shamanism, and when I saw those
conditions which surrounded these plants, both in my own and other societies, I
came to perceive the gift of these plants to humankind as a two-edged sword, which could transform into a
curse if parts of humankind appropriated the
gift either through violence and armed force or legislation, to usurp power
over their fellow human beings for the purpose of obtaining material gain or to
exploit them as labor force for the same purpose.
TuTu had made a little poem about this with a play of words, the playfulness of which can only be seen in Danish in which TuTu composed it, but the meaning of it in English is: "Life is fun when it revolves around something which is fun. It is shudder when it revolves around dough."
In Danish:
Livet er sjovt,
når det drejer sig om noget, der er sjovt.
Det er gys,
når det drejer sig om gysser.
The chillum was made especially for the occasion.
The face on the chillum portrayed me in a peaceful condition with a Mona Lisa
smile.
TuTu made many of this type of power objects, and
gradually as I became more aware, I observed that he used them in a way which
redeemed both my own and other people’s destructive emotions in relation
to objects instead of in relation to fellow human beings.
Ahead of the ceremony, he had asked me what I feared the most, and at that point, my fear was that
the man I loved would be unfaithful to me with my
sister so I would feel let down without being able to seek consolation from
her.
When he carved the chillum, he asked me who it looked like, and I said that it
looked like me, but the next day, I discovered that it had a small spot on the
tip of the nose and a small spot above the upper lip.
My sister had those too, and since we were twins,
these two were one of the distinguishing marks in our appearances.
I told her about it believing that she would be pleased.
She got scared and said that she did not want her
face on any chillum.
He had also asked her what she feared the most, but she would not even dream of telling him, because she had discovered that
those who did came to experience to some
degree or other what they feared shortly after, and that she was not
interested in.
I had not observed this phenomenon, but I became more observant and discovered that she was right.
Anyway, I did not
stop telling him what I feared when he asked me, because I felt that some kind
of purification took place, which I could not see through but which I believed
would prove to be to my advantage in the end.
SECURITY RATHER THAN LOVE
The chillum got a chaotic life.
More and more of the mouthpiece broke off, and in the end, it was not good to
use, and it got so many cuts that it wasn’t beautiful anymore.
I was tormented by discovering that, secretly, I became glad every time it got
to look a little worse.
In the end, I chose to tell TuTu about it, and he said that the chillum
portrayed me, but there were various kinds of problems in my relationship with
my sister.
One thing was a sibling complex, which was bigger than normal, and another was
that the jealousy lay under the threshold of day consciousness, and therefore,
had chances of doing greater harm.
For example, he had noticed that my sister intuitively called me every time a
peak experience was about to happen between him and me, and thus she disturbed
the event.
For a long time, I got angry when he touched on my relationship with my sister,
but in the end, reluctantly, I began to observe it.
I had never put a question mark on my love for her and hers for me, but now I
discovered that our relationship did not have the character that I had
imagined.
It consisted in a pact, which said that we, always and
under all circumstances, should be there for one another no matter the cost for
each of us, and besides this, we always had to be loyal to each other above
anybody else, and it was this pact of security that I had perceived as love.
The pact had always createdmanifested problems in our relationships
with our respective boyfriends, who got angry by discovering that they
had the second priority in her or my life.
It had also createdmanifested many difficulties in our social lives,
because other people felt left out when we were together, even our
mother.
When I had spotted all this, a desire arose in me to change the nature of our relationship.
This started a process and it ended up with the both of us admitting
that, in reality, we would rather give our spouses first priority than
each other.
After this conversation, we began freeing ourselves from each other
with stumbling legs, but it was not easy because we were so entangled
in each other’s lives and memories that we often had difficulties
remembering who did what during our growth, and it also called forth a
lot of fear when one of us took a step forward which was a bit too big
for the other.
In the end, I realized that my fear was not the fear of losing her, but of
losing the security that our pact gave me, and from thereon, it became easier.
She felt the same way and, little by little, we managed to give our love for our spouses’ first priority and our friendship second priority.
OM
In the initiation ceremony, the lighting up
of the
It is pronounced ‘aum’
in Hinduism and ‘a’ designates the day consciousness, ‘u’ the dream
consciousness and ‘m’ the dreamless consciousness, which is also called the
pure consciousness.
The initiating movement of creationmanifestation is said to have been accompanied by this
sound, which is called Amen in Christianity and A’meen in Islam.
Spiritual seekers try to get into contact with their origin by using 
before one’s inner eye.
MOVING THE FOCUS POINT OF CONSCIOUSNESS
A mantra is one or more words with inbuilt power induced by the help of the sound waves that the mantra contains.
The sound waves result in kriyas, which
mean actions, and is a kind of electric shock that can make the body jolt,
like my body did when TuTu chanted the mantra of the initiation ceremony, and
like it also did the two other times I
initiated my meditation on
This kind of shocks
can move the focus point of consciousness into
a new area and thereby, for a shorter or longer time period, give the person
access to that field of consciousness of his/her
total consciousness which contains the energy combination or archetype of the
invoked field of consciousness, and from those experiences which the person
achieves from his/her focusing in this particular field of consciousness, a new
realization of the nature of reality arises.
One can also move the focus point of consciousness
slowly by absorbing the mental idea contained in the mantra.
THE SHIVA-SHAKTI INVOCATION
TuTu initiated the mantra of the ceremony by saying BUM, and this word is one of the many root sounds which is used to bring forth Shiva.
Shiva-Shakti was the second word of the mantra, and this is another designation
for the merged masculine and feminine principle, of which Shiva is the
masculine part and Shakti the feminine part.
Shambhu is yet another name of Shiva.
Sham alone
means welfare or happiness and Bhu is a designation for the place of the
Earth.
The total meaning of this name is therefore: "Giver of happiness and welfare on Earth."
TuTu thus induced "the Shiva energy that breaks
down ignorance to give space to the awareness of the merged masculine
and feminine principle that brings forth happiness
and welfare on Earth."
In the initiation, I
got a glimpse of this without understanding what happened though, and the
contrast to my day consciousness was so big that it only produced fear, but
when the glimpse grew to an extent that brought this state of consciousness
into harmony with my day consciousness, I discovered that this condition had
been my spiritual goal, which I, until then, had not been able to put a name
to.
TUTU AND SHIVA
TuTu’s personal use of the Shiva energy was impressive and at times downright awe-inspiring.
He broke down my spiritual ignorance through various initiations and my mental ignorance by touching on topics which were taboo for me.
Emotionally, he broke down my ignorance by playing
psychodramas, where he brought my deepest fears out into the open.
His psychodramas were scenarios he played out, either as concrete actions or as
conversations, which at first I perceived to be future perspectives for my
life.
When my emotions calmed down again after the scare of these future prospects,
he spoke with me about my emotions in such a way that made me understand that
it was a psychodrama he had played out, and that it had got nothing to do with
my future prospects.
My first reaction was usually to do everything in my power to not let myself
get affected, and when that proved not to be possible, I had to walk the heavy
walk through my fears.
Gradually, as I went through them several times, in various ways, I became more
and more calm, because I discovered that the fear of
a specific event was worse than the event itself, and sometimes a dreaded event
did not bring all the devastation that I had feared it would, and in fact, at
times, it proved to be a wonderful event beyond my wildest imagination.
TABOO
My greatest
taboo in the sphere of love was the fact that I was a sexual
creaturemanifestation from birth, and TuTu began touching on this taboo
one day by telling me that for some time he stayed in a village at the
foot of the Himalayas.
In this society, they showed the children a wooden model of the sexual organs as soon as they showed any interest in the topic.
The children were shown how they were built and how they worked, and
were encouraged to experiment with their peers to make their own
discoveries in the field.
I feared pedophilia if adults recognized that children were sexual creaturesmanifestations, and was shaken by his statements.
I remembered the shame of my childhood about my sexuality when I had just discovered it around the age of three by riding on my sister’s knee.
My mother happened to pass by and shamed me so violently that it made an
inedible impression in me.
I did not want to be 'one of that kind' who were
naughty, so I forbade myself to feel those feelings.
When, on occasion, I felt them anyway, I denied it, even to myself.
Sometimes, my feelings and my curiosity went above discipline, and I
participated in secret and shameful doctor’s games with the other children to
discover myself and them, but I made a habit of fantasizing that it wasn’t I
who participated.
When, as an adult, I discovered that I needed to be able to unfold sexually in
relation to my husband, my yearlong self-denial had reached a point where I
could not get rid of it because it did not fit into the picture anymore, and my
habit of dissociating myself from my sexual feelings by the help of fantasy sat so
deep that I could not get rid of it either just because I wanted to be able to
make love in purity with my husband.
I told TuTu about my fear of pedophilia, and he said that shame of the natural
functions of the body was a contributing factor to pedophilia.
A person who had had a healthy upbringing in the sexual area would develop a
sound sense of where the limits went, and thus, would not feel driven to harm
children.
Besides this, the children would pick up on
the openness of society in this area and that would give the child the freedom
to express to their parents or other adults if somebody approached them
sexually without them wanting to engage, and thus, pedophilia would be nipped in the bud.
SEXUAL INNOCENCE
Later, he attacked this taboo from various angles, and I began wishing to be able to make love with TuTu in purity without denials or fantasies.
However, I discovered that I wasn’t able to do it on my own and began to pray
to my Higher Power frequently for help.
In the process, eventually, I became able to straighten out my distorted
sexuality, and thereby, I discovered the innocent nature of my sexual feelings.
However, I only succeeded towards the end of our life together.
I still remember the day when I succeeded for the first time to honestly follow
the swing of my sexual feelings from beginning to end without fantasies or
denials of their intensity or lack of the same, and I understood that my prayer
had been answered.
I became aware that TuTu had also experienced the difference when he said
afterwards: "This was lovemaking, and the difference between making love
and having a fuck consists in this."
JUDGING ABOUT GOOD AND EVIL
Like Tutu used the Shiva energy, I used the Shakti energy.
At times, my use of the Kali aspect of the Shakti energy could scare myself.
Kali attacks everything and everybody in all of the material Universe, and she
cuts down indiscriminately to eradicate ignorance, which she calls evil, and
when she has eradicated all of the material Universe, she reaches for Shiva himself.
He is lying down, smiling in meditation, and at that very moment where she puts her
foot on his chest, she realizes that only Shiva can break down ignorance, and
as long as she imagined this to be her task she acted out of ignorance.
Realizing this, she bit her tongue off, that is, she stopped judging on the grounds of good and evil.
In my case, my Kali energy was activated by my fear
that TuTu represented the worst evil I could imagine: A person who took
advantage of another under the mask of love to attain material gain, and I
would rather destroy my material resources than let both of us benefit by them,
because I did not want to give him material advantages if, in reality, he
pretended when he claimed that he loved me.
TuTu often said that my distrust in his love was the greatest problem between
us, but I was not able to take that to heart because I wanted to see if he
would still be by my side if I were without possessions or position.
Like Kali, I had to bite my tongue off after having
lain waste my material Universe.
Internally, I reproached
myself in harsh tones that I had not been any wiser, until I found the capacity
to forgive myself by the help of my mythological insight.
I realized that the natural consequence of the Kali field becoming active in my
consciousness consisted in that I was saturated by its swing and thereby swung
on the same frequency.
Thus, I put too high demands on myself when I demanded that I should be able to
reach the highest realization of Kali without having gone through the
experience.
I began
giving up my judgments on myself and others from the perspective of good and
evil.
Instead, I began finding a new balance in the four
basic emotions, because I realized that my fear of losing my beloved led me to
walk that extra mile which is required to make difficult things succeed.
Pain led me to enlightenment.
Integration of my enlightenment led me to joy, and the purpose of this new balance was to make it possible for me to merge with my beloved in higher and higher realms.
TUTU AND THE PRECEPTOR
Although I had now been initiated by TuTu, I
continued to receive sittings from my
preceptor, but shortly afterwards, he began opposing my visits to the
preceptor.
Usually, I felt down
when I came back from her.
Her opinion about our relationship meant a lot to me, but she did not think it would last
because of the age difference, the culture difference and the difficult
employment situation in
He insisted on accompanying me when I went to see her, but after having been in
the house once, he insisted on waiting outside.
"Well, are you going down there now again?"
he said in his usual gentle and loving tone of voice but with a kind of
humorously complaining undertone every time I was about to go, "everything
is happening here, and you interrupt the natural flow of events by going."
I invited the preceptor for dinner hoping that it would soften up the
atmosphere between them.
He knew that she was opposed to smoking of hashish but after dinner he began making
a chillum ready.
He held it out to me with a questioning glance, and when I shook my head, he
held it out to her.
She also shook her head.
He lit it himself and then again held it out to me.
I was about to sink into the ground from shame, because now she would become aware that I smoked hashish together with him, but then I thought that she might as well get to know it, first instead of last, so I took it and pulled a drag.
Soon the conversation slid into spiritual topics.
She told about the advantages of submitting to the Master’s guidance, and he
said that so many Gurus were to be found in
It was difficult to evaluate their qualifications, so he preferred to be his
own Guru.
She began losing patience, so I hurried to say: "Try to listen to what he
says even if he is so young, because he actually says the same as the Master
just in a different way."
She calmed down, but a moment later he said in his usual gentle and loving tone
of voice but with a firm and rather chilled undertone that he was dissatisfied
with my condition when I came from her, and that one should be careful coming
up with bad suggestions for the future to people, in particular,
when one trained them spiritually.
She said that she had had enough now.
She had not come here to be taught by such a green pea.
He raised his voice and said in an authoritative voice though still with this amazing gentleness and love coming out in his voice at all times: "Woman, go to your Master and tell him that you do not know what you are doing."
She jumped to her feet, ran out into the hallway and took her coat.
I jumped to my feet and ran after her.
She was already out of the door and had almost reached her car before I caught
up with her.
"Please be kind and stay here," I said.
"No," she said, "I’m not staying here any longer. Now it is up
to you what you want to do."
She started her car.
Again, I remembered the dream where I left the Master’s farm.
Could I stop here?
The thought made me shrink.
No, I had to wait and see where everything landed.
I went back in and asked if he had had to provoke her in that way and he
answered that he had played out a psychodrama to bring both her and me face to
face with ourselves, each in our way.
The next day, I called her and said that I would call her back when I felt
ready to receive sittings again.
SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS
We talked about getting married, and in our talks about getting married, TuTu said that the most common difficulty in the earthly marriage is possessiveness and sexual jealousy.
I was not aware to which extent I suffered from these
emotions, but he warned me and said that possessiveness itself is bad, but
sexual jealousy is the most destructive of all emotions, and if these emotions
did not change within me, he would suddenly be gone.
I got furious and said that he could refrain from doing anything which gave
rise to these emotions in me, then it needed not be a problem.
SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS DIRECTED
TOWARDS THE FUTURE
He began bringing me
face to face with my sexual jealousy and possessiveness one day by telling me that he was
preparing me to live as a Brahmin’s wife.
As a Brahmin, he would come to live his life
for others, and I also had to learn to live my life for others.
I became excited by the thought.
He said that this life style sometimes meant that he had to make love with
other women.
If a woman in a village remained childless, it was customary that you turned to
the Brahmin and asked him for help to impregnate the woman, if it was her
husband who was sterile.
I turned pale.
I wanted to give birth
to his child myself and hoped that it was a privilege that was only due to his
wife, but now I had to face that I should not count on that.
In my chaotic thoughts, I tried to find a fixed point which would make it
possible for me to accept the situation and found out that it would be an
advantage if as many as possible were born with his genes, and since he was
more loving, caring, compassionate and merciful of my emotions than I ever
experienced from anybody before, he would probably not begin this lifestyle
before I had become strong enough to live with it.
SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS DIRECTED
TOWARDS THE PAST
When we were on our way
to Copenhagen Town Hall
to pick up our wedding papers, he said: “There is something you should know.
When I was a child, I had a playmate. We lived next
door to each other and always played together.
I loved her and promised to marry her when I grew up.
She did not believe me, but I promised myself that I would do it.
However, we moved apart and lost contact until we met
in
Her name is Rani. That means queen.
We saw a lot of each other, but one day, something
happened in her family that made her break off her relationship with me.
I wrote several letters, but she maintained that we
couldn’t see each other anymore.
I want you to know that I still love her and want to spend at least four-five
years of my life together with her.”
He had to be joking?!!
I looked investigating at him, but he looked back at me seriously.
"How will you do that when you’re already married to me?" I asked.
"My father also has two wives," he said, "the first wife, whom
he married for practical reasons and the other one whom he married out of
love."
I could readily imagine
that I was the one TuTu married for practical reasons, and that she would be
the one he married out of love.
I thought that this had got something to do with his preparations of me to live
as a Brahmin’s wife and shook it off me.
When first he got to know me better, he would discover that it was I he loved
and wanted to be together with.
SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS DIRECTED
TOWARDS THE INTANGIBLE
Then he began telling me about Shri Krishna’s relationship with the love of his youth, whose name was Radha with the byname Rani.
The love of this couple was considered an ideal.
I asked why Krishna married somebody else then, but
he did not answer and instead said that the woman whom Krishna married was very
possessive and jealous.
To me, the coincidence between these bites of Krishna’s story and our situation
was striking.
Sometimes, I felt like shaking him and yelling: "Wake up now. It may be
that her name is Rani, but I am Rani whether I’m
called this or not, because it is I who is the queen of your heart, whether you
like it or not," but I didn’t say anything.
At other times, I
felt guilty because the power of my love might have sucked him to me
against his will.
I became so tormented by these thoughts that I began
praying to God at frequent intervals that he may be liberated from his guilt if
he was with me because he owed me something from previous lives, because I did
not want to stand in his way if he wanted to be somewhere else.
My jealousy towards
When I brought up the
topic of Rani at an advanced point in time in our life together he looked tired and
said: "Now, do you pull that old skeleton out of the
closet again?”
But that it did not help me any because it could be something he just
said as it happened to be me who was by his side throughout his
life.
Even when he told me that Rani was not her real name
and that now he wanted to call her by her personal name and me as Rani because
it was I who was the queen of his heart, I had difficulties believing him.
KRISHNA AND RUKMINI
Only after his death, I decided to read the story about Krishna, the love of his youth Radha Rani and his wife Rukmini Devi, and then my emotions healed at long last.
Krishna was born in the countryside, where it was the
custom that the children took care of the cows, so he grew up as a
cowherd and consorted with the other cowherds and cowherdesses, among whom Radha
Rani was one.
At the time Rukmini heard about him, he had already left Radha Rani and had
gone to the big city.
Radha Rani was angry because he left her and lived
for some time embittered by his memory.
Rukmini Devi had not met Krishna, but from what she had heard about him, she understood that he was
her heart’s chosen one.
Rukmini was a princess and her family was about to marry her off to one of the
prominent princes of the time but she did not want this marriage after she had
heard about Krishna, even if he was a simple cowherd.
She sent him a letter and asked him to come and abduct her before it was too late.
Krishna was courted and could have chosen so many, but her wish resonated in
his heart, and he decided to abduct her and marry her, even if he knew that his
act would createmanifest an uproar in the royal family, and that he had to prepare
himself for an act of war between himself and the prince to be able to go
through with his desire.
He succeeded in his endeavor and married Rukmini Devi, had children with her
and stayed by her side for the rest of his life.
SPIRITUALITY AND SEXUALITY
The story made me wonder why spiritual aspirants idealized the relationship between Krishna and Radha Rani instead of the relationship between Krishna and Rukmini Devi, but then it occurred to me that it was like the relationship between the Master and me, and I got to perceive the idealization as a song of praise to the platonic love between a Master and his disciple.
I think though that the purification of the mind cannot be completed through
platonic love, because the most potent power of love, the sexual power, is not
a part of this love.
In spite of my many years of spiritual practice under the guidance of the
Master, I had to face that I was unable to do something as simple as following
my sexual feelings honestly in my love life with TuTu, and it took many years
of practical experience before, at long last, it stood pure.
PREPARATIONS FOR BHOG
It did not occur to me
at first that our talks about relationships between couples were psychodramas,
but little by little I calmed down, because I realized that nothing concrete
happened.
One day, he looked
seriously at me and said that these problems could not always be managed with
words.
Sometimes, you had to experience.
This coincided with what I had read in one of the Master’s books about Bhog, which means
to go through the effects.
He wrote that a part of the disciples’ samskaras, massive impressions in
the mind, could be cleaned out by the help of the transmission and the
disciple’s own spiritual work, but some impressions were so massive that they
could only be cleaned out by going through their effects.
The heaviest samskaras lay at the bottom like the
heaviest particles in a well, and therefore they only came up for Bhog in the
end, and it was this heavy winding up of ties of destiny that TuTu was
beginning to prepare me for.
THE EARTHLY WEDDING
He had consulted an astrologer to find the
right day for our earthly wedding, and
I felt a triumph on this day, as if I had carried through the World’s most
difficult enterprise.
Again and again, a feeling of intoxicating joy went through me by the thought:
"Now, he is mine."
We were married on assembly line at the Copenhagen Town Hall, and I grieved
over that.
I would rather have had it happen in the church with great solemnity, but I had
resigned my membership with the public church, and besides, I had been married
once before, and I had learned that it was not proper for a divorcee to dress
up in white for a church wedding, and so I did not think it was proper for me
to be dressed in all white in a church for my wedding.
THE ANGELIC WEDDING
DHARMA AND KARMA
I had learned that dharma is that part of my destiny which has createdmanifested ties from where I have to go through the effects of my constructive acts, and karma is that part of my destiny from where I have to go through the effects of my destructive acts.
However, as a spiritual aspirant, it was my task to liberate myself from all
bindings, whether they were constructive or destructive, to attain liberation.
When TuTu began preparing me for the dissolution of my karma in the
sphere of love and I came to know that I had to have relationships with
other men for this reason, I became unhappy and was yet another time
convinced that he did not love me.
THE MYTHOLOGICAL HARISHCHANDRA
It began with him
showing me a cartoon that in brief told the story of the mythological king Harishchandra, the King of
Truth.
This king had an experience that made him decide to
always stick to the truth.
A sage decided to challenge his decision, and in the process, Harishchandra had his realm taken away and his wife, who lived as a maid in the house of another man, together with his son, who was allowed to stay with his mother.
In the end, he lived as a slave on the cremation grounds, where he took care of the corpses.
After some years, his son died from a snakebite, and his wife was at the same
time falsely accused of the murder of a prince and convicted to death.
He did not know that the accusation was false, and was the one who was going to
execute the beheading, but as he was about to swing the sword, all the Gods
appeared.
He had now proven that he did not stick to the truth only because he was a
king and could afford to be honest, but that he stuck to it under all
circumstances, and thereby, he had impressed the Gods who brought an end to his sufferings by bringing his
son back to life and reuniting him and his wife, who were reinstalled as king
and queen.
Over time, I had got the impression that TuTu did not
tell me mythological stories to entertain me, and I became worried about
the separation between king Harishchandra and his wife.
PREPARATION FOR KARMA DISSOLUTION
When he had been in
There were problems in his home, and he talked about going back to
He suggested me to use the time to our house to order and into meditate on
"It would also be an advantage if you lovingly
take care of everybody in your surroundings instead of sitting in a corner
sulking because I’m not here," he said.
"Do you mean everybody?" I asked.
"Yes," he said.
I looked at him in disbelief.
When TuTu came to
In his despair, he called TuTu and begged him for permission to speak with me
one-on-one.
I did not feel like doing it, but even if TuTu did not say anything and looked
at me in his usual gentle and loving way, there was a strange silence behind
his lack of reaction to my refusal that made me feel like I had a heart of
stone if I did not go to speak to my former boyfriend, and so I went to see him anyway.
He appeared as if transformed
and said that he had attained special powers during his nervous breakdown, and
this had made him very strong, so he had decided
to take me from TuTu.
It scared me, so I told TuTu about it afterwards.
He said: "Yes that he thinks he can."
"Yes, but I’m afraid that he may also be able to in one way or
another," I said.
"That he cannot," TuTu said, "but he has to discover it
himself."
When now he said that my care should embrace everybody, I asked: "Does that also go for my former boyfriend?"
"Yes," he said, "I’m in every man and every man is in me."
I looked suspiciously at him and asked how far this care should go.
"There should be no limits," he answered gently.
"Not against sleeping with him either?" I
asked disbelievingly.
"No," he said.
After he left, I soon got everything in
order and meditated on a daily basis on
I began seeing my former boyfriend on friendly terms.
He was in the process of reading a book by one of the contemporary psychologists who had
createdmanifested a new form of therapy, and he
recommended me to read the therapist’s book, which thrilled him because
he recognized the description of those emotions he had lived through when I married TuTu.
It had been as if all the plugs that had kept his emotions down since childhood had flown out, and even if it had been a painful experience he would not have wanted to do without it, because it raised his general level of energy in a completely new way.
The therapist claimed that he was able to give his clients the same experience,
but under safe conditions, so the clients could get access to those energies
which the suppressed emotions blocked.
THE PAIN OF SEPARATION 1
In the meantime, Christmas drew closer, and TuTu’s arrival was set for the 23rd of December.
I dared not look forward to it until I saw him
in the airport, because he had come five months later than we had agreed on the
last time he came to
On the 22nd of December the phone rang.
It was a telephonic telegram with a laconic message:
"Delayed."
I staggered away from the phone and sank down on the sofa.
A sharp pain went through my heart and spread to my head.
After a couple of hours, the physical pain began diminishing.
The following days, I
went around in a haze.
Most of the time, I lay on the sofa and stared out into
empty air.
IN THERAPY
An exchange of letters began, and he wrote
that he lost his passport in
I looked for a way to make the waiting time short.
My sister and my former boyfriend had talked about going to
Halfway in a haze, I began taking steps to
participate.
Maybe therapy could help me out of my
unbearable emotions, and maybe it could also strengthen me so as to be able to
maintain my balance in the future when TuTu did something that might otherwise throw me off balance.
I wrote to TuTu about my plans and got a letter in which he wrote: "Why
use all that money in a therapy instead of coming here and sharing with
yourself."
He meant that we were two halves making one whole, so when I shared with him I
shared with myself and yet another time he stroke right into my fears of being
taken advantage of materially under the mask of love.
I asked various people what they thought of his
suggestion, but when everybody unanimously advised me against going to
He replied that as things stood now, that option was remote.
To my surprise, I was relieved.
My purpose with the journey was to find the strength
to be together with him, and I did not think I would be able to concentrate on
the therapy if he was there.
I sought permission of leave from my job, put up my house for sale, and when
everything had fallen into place smoothly, a letter came from TuTu where he
wrote that now he was coming.
I wrote back that it would be better to wait and meet when I came back to
In
The rest of my family wanted to stay in Los Angeles
for some more time, so by the end of May, I left for Denmark alone.
TuTu looked tired when I met him in the airport.
My body jerked when he put his arms around me looking lovingly at me and said:
"My wife."
So much was implied in his pronunciation of those two words that I did not know which leg to stand on from joy.
I looked into his radiant eyes, and was once again
enchanted by his magical being.
I was eager to find out if what I had learned in the therapy would affect our
relationship for the better.
TuTu thought that the therapy was superficial and would
not improve anything, and it proved to be true.
TuTu and the Dane who had come with him to the airport wanted
to visit a friend with whom they both stayed in the beginning of my stay in
America, but I wanted to meet the Master.
I asked TuTu to come along because I hoped to get a clearer picture of him by
seeing him together with the Master, but he refused.
When we separated, a sting of pain went through me.
In accordance with my own choice, I had been separated from him for eleven
months.
Then why did it hurt so badly to see him go another way for a couple of hours?
I could not go with them, because I had to see the Master.
With difficulty, I managed to tear myself away and took the bus to Hellerup.
When I came into the
house, the wing doors of the Master’s room were open.
A few disciples sat in his room, and without looking around I went in and sat
down.
Immediately, I felt the bliss-creatingmanifesting power which radiated from him.
It was a sad contrast to the heaviness I felt in my heart.
"Oh, Master," I thought, while at the same time tears rolled down my
cheeks, "I have this pain within me, and I don’t know what to do.”
The power intensified, the pain disappeared, and I sank into meditation.
When the meditation was over, I quietly got up and left the house.
My feet were light as feathers and I almost
danced down the street, because now I had fulfilled my duty to the Master and
now I was going to be together with TuTu.
PURIFICATIONS FOR SEXUAL JEALOUSY
AND POSSESSIVENESS 1
When I arrived at their friend’s house, a big group of people was present.
Among them was a woman TuTu had written to me
about a short time ahead of my departure from
In the letter, he had told me about the people he had met during my absence,
who had meant something special to him, and this woman and he had been lovers.
I sat down next to him and he put a protective arm around me and took my hand
in his.
I looked curiously at her.
She stared out into the air and carefully avoided my inquiring gaze.
Next to her sat her new boyfriend.
I wondered about her choice.
He and TuTu were diametrically opposites.
She wore too much make-up around her eyes, and
that gave her a sickly appearance.
Her clothes were ill fitting.
"It is wise of TuTu to confront me with a woman who arouses my compassion rather than my jealousy," I thought, "that will make it easier for me to overcome my jealousy."
Some bread, butter, jam, knives and cutting boards lay on the floor, which also
served as a table.
Incidentally, the young woman and I reached for the bread at the same time.
Our eyes met, and I tried to smile.
She tried to send back a timid smile and hurried to look out into the empty air again.
I became friendly disposed and got up the courage to butter a slice of bread
and give it to her.
She quickly looked at me and received it with an almost inaudible thanks.
It was getting late, and many visitors had left.
I was waiting for TuTu to give the signal to leave, but instead he suggested
that we stayed overnight.
Many of the other guests also decided to stay, and
some foam rubber mattresses were rolled out on the floor.
We lay down on the floor in a way that made space for as many as possible.
The young woman’s new boyfriend, she, TuTu and I lay next to each other.
I rested my head on his shoulder and tried to drop off to sleep, but I could
not help keeping an eye on the young woman on his other side.
Suddenly, he held out his free arm to her, and she threw herself in his arm
with a half-stifled sob.
Conflicting emotions of jealousy and compassion arose in me.
She was like a drowning person who clung to a straw.
A moment later, she
got up and got ready to leave.
TuTu bent over me and gently said that she
wanted to go home, and he would take her.
I nodded mutely.
They left.
Desperation and jealousy hammered within me, but I felt at the mercy of fate and saw no other option than accepting events.
It occurred to me that her new boyfriend also would
feel hurt, and I held out an arm and stroked his hair.
He seized my hand.
It made me stronger that somebody else needed my help, and I was grateful that I had something to do in the middle of my chaotic emotions.
I got up and made some food, and as soon as we had eaten he dropped off to
sleep.
I felt lost and listened intensely for TuTu’s footsteps on the staircase.
In the end, I gave up hope of seeing him again until the next morning, but
then, at long last, I heard his footsteps.
I jumped to my feet and went out to meet him in the doorway.
He looked tired.
"How is everything here?" he asked in a tired gentle voice and looked
investigating at me.
"Good, now that you’re back," I answered and told him what happened,
"how did it go for you?"
He told me that he had consoled her as best as he could.
They had made love, and he had told her that his feelings for her were the
same, as they always had been.
The moment he said that I felt calm.
He did not deny his feelings for her and they were as they had always been, and that implied that his feelings for me also were as they had always been and that he would not deny his feelings for me in front of others.
I did not have to manipulate or do anything in particular to win his heart.
His feelings were as they had always been
irrespective of me having left him to go to
They were as they had always been for both her and me, and we had each our own place in his life and his heart and at that moment, I trusted that it was I who was the queen of his heart and that nothing or nobody could change that.
Furthermore, his love for her was of such a nature that when she was in a state of despair, he would come to her and console her in whichever way was required, irrespective of the controversial nature and consequence of such an act.
I was his wife and if he would do that for a lover it told me that he would do that for me as well, which meant that I could trust him even under the most unusual circumstances.
For me that was an unusual clear way of thinking.
When I was with him, it often happened that his very presence made me think along lines that were very different from my habitual way of thinking just like when I was together with the Master.
At one point in time she had said that she longed for her boyfriend and had asked TuTu to go back and tell him that she missed him and needed him.
Her boyfriend had woken up, and when he heard that, he got up and left.
My joy that TuTu was back again overshadowed my concern about the development
of events.
We lay down, and when I put my head on his shoulder, a feeling of intense joy and triumph went through me.
I had managed to live through the events of the night without losing my mind.
When we woke up the next morning, I was still in high spirits, so when TuTu
told the Dane about the events of the evening, I was able to listen with a
smile.
The Dane threw some stolen glances at me, and that made me even more pleased
about the calm and strength I felt.
THE HELP OF THE CROWN PRINCE 1
Late in the afternoon, the Dane, one of his friends, TuTu and I went out to visit one of their other friends.
TuTu was warm and attentive, and I was happy and strong.
In the evening, we went into one of the music places in Christiania, which is an
area of Copenhagen where people live in a way which is out of conformity with
the norms of the surrounding society, and I sat down and watched how both men
and women lit up and got life in their faces when TuTu was attentive to them.
We stayed overnight with the friends of the Dane and TuTu, and when I woke up
the following morning, I was restless and unhappy.
My habitual way of thinking had returned and I felt the agony of my sexual jealousy and possessiveness.
I wanted to get away from there.
I told TuTu and he asked if he should come with me.
"That’s up to you," I said coldly, because he could even ask that, as I thought
it went without saying that I wanted him to come with me.
He said that in that case he would stay for some more time.
When I walked down the street, I hoped to hear fast footsteps behind me, but
they did not appear.
I went to Albertslund to my sister’s empty house, showered, and then I went to
Hellerup to visit the Master.
The wing-doors of his room were closed and remained closed during my visit, and
the Crown prince took care of the evening sitting.
He began transmitting.
I sank deeper and deeper into meditation.
Suddenly, TuTu appeared before my inner eye.
He had a cheerful glimpse in his eyes and looked questioningly at me.
I thought angrily: "Go away. You give me nothing but pain."
His face remained questioning, but became serious.
Could it really be so that he did not know how much pain he cost me?
I became mollified and thought: "All right, if you’re in my sister’s house when
I reach there after this sitting, I‘ll trust you in the future."
His image disappeared.
A moment later, it appeared again, and he asked a question without words: "Is it
all right if I bring the Dane with me?"
"Yes, yes," I thought impatiently, because he even considered such a trifle.
His image disappeared.
From that moment on, I could not continue the meditation.
Impatiently, I waited for the sitting to get over and done with.
If TuTu were not in my sister’s house when I came back, I would no longer trust
him and put up with those sufferings I experienced together with him.
If he was there, it was a miracle, because he did not have the key of the house
and could not know whether I was with the Master, my family or in some other
place instead of at my sister’s empty house, and then I would trust him in the
future.
When the sitting was over, I hastened down to the commuter train.
I shuffled restlessly back and forth on the platform.
At long last, the train came and I went in to sit down, but I was too restless
to sit and so I got up again.
My heart was in my throat, and my thoughts were racing back and forth.
Finally, we reached Albertslund Station.
I reached the path leading down to my sister’s house.
From a long distance, I could already see that nobody sat on the step in front
of the house.
I slowed down.
No, it was also too good to be true.
Nothing could be done about it.
It had to be over.
When I reached the main door, I heard music from inside the house.
With trembling hands, I got my key out, unlocked the door and stepped in.
TuTu and the Dane sat in the living room, and the music streamed out of the
stereo speakers.
I looked at TuTu, and he looked back at me with a mischievous expression in his
eyes and an inscrutable smile.
I threw myself around his neck.
When again I found words, I told him everything.
He frowned: "Did you really think that I would ever hurt you?"
"Oh, I didn’t really know what to think," I answered.
At that point in time, I did not understand that it was not he that hurt me but my feelings of sexual jealousy and possessiveness that hurt me.
He got up, went into the adjacent room and came back with a deep purple flower,
which consisted of a heavy cluster of small flowers.
He handed it to me in a very particular way.
Purple!
The color of magic!
That magic which springs from the merger of blue, which represents the Divine
love, and red, which represents the earthly love.
I experienced the handing over of the flower as an accolade and a sealing of our
transcendental contact, and I looked at him with tears of gratitude in my eyes.
"How did you actually get in?" it suddenly occurred to me.
"The Dane has a key, which your sister gave him," TuTu said.
Oh yes, now I remembered that she gave him a key so he could stay the night when
he was in Copenhagen, while she was in Los Angeles.
TAKING LEAVE OF THE MASTER
Still, I wanted to see the Master and TuTu together, because I felt that there was a connection between them, which I was eager to unravel, but every time I suggested that we should go out to see the Master, he did not want to come along, and he also opposed that I went.
That made me extra attentive since he usually did not oppose my wishes.
"Why do you mind that?" I asked.
"What are you going out there for? You interrupt the natural flow of events by
leaving."
In the end, I decided to take leave of the Master.
For once, TuTu agreed to come with me but he did not want to come inside the
house, and waited outside.
The wing-doors of the Master’s room were open, and both that and the adjacent
room were full of people.
I stood behind the crowd.
"I have come to say goodbye," I thought.
I waited for something to happen, but after a few moments, I accepted the idea
that our departure would take place without any special reaction from his side.
At that moment, everyone was asked to leave the Master’s room, so he could rest.
People got up and streamed out, and when the last one had left, I hurried to
step in, ready to withdraw if I ran into the slightest hindrance, but nobody
objected and the doors were closed behind me.
I went over to his bed and sat down on the floor in front of him.
He was lying in the bed and looked at me.
It was my intention to repeat what I had thought, but I could not bring the
words over my lips.
"I’ve got married," I said instead.
He did not answer.
I mentioned TuTu’s personal name.
With a jolt, he sat up in the bed and questioningly repeated the name.
"Oh, you’re going to start a business together," he then said.
"Yes," I answered surprised.
I had not seen him get up with a jolt before.
"What kind of business is it that you’re going to get into?" he asked.
"We’ve been thinking about something with boats in India because that would be a
benefit for many people," I answered.
He seemed to lose interest, nodded and lay down again.
"I’m so grateful to you," I said.
I had no more at heart and waited to hear if the Master had anything to say to
me.
We sat in silence for a few minutes.
“Do you want to rest now?” I asked.
“There is no rest for me anywhere,” he said, “there is too much work to be done”.
A preceptor put her head in and asked me to leave the room, because there were
also others who wanted to talk privately with the Master, so I got up and left.
THE PAIN OF SEPARATION 2
One morning, five days
after my return, TuTu came into the bedroom and said that I should get up, but
this particular morning I pulled the cover over my head and refused to get up.
TuTu laughed lovingly and said to the Dane: "There you see how close we
are. She senses my decision, and therefore she doesn’t want to meet the
day."
I pulled the cover away from my head.
"What do you mean?"
"I have decided to return to
I pulled the cover over my head again and said nothing.
He gently put his hands on the cover and shook me a bit back and forth:
"Ooooh don’t do that. Come alive. Come o...o..o..n."
I did not answer.
He got ready to leave together with the Dane, and
that used to get me up in a hurry, but I did not move.
"Come up now," he said in his usual loving and gentle tone of voice
but with a complaining undertone mixed with cheerfulness, "it’s a
beautiful day, and you are just lying there without meeting it."
"I can’t be bothered," I said coldly.
"Come and help me," he said to the Dane and together they pulled the
cover off me and got me out of bed.
TuTu said that he got a letter from his sister.
His father was ill, and the family needed him.
I did not answer.
I just wanted to close my eyes and pretend that nothing had happened.
In the end, I
gave in.
"I want to come along," I said.
"Time is not ripe," he answered, "you have to be patient and
wait."
"You only say that because you don’t want me to come along," I said.
He shook his head and said: "All right, you can come along."
I got doubtful.
If I went along, it was
equivalent to burning all my bridges, and that I could do for myself, but I did
not think I could make such a choice for my son, and he was not old enough to be able to manage on
his own.
"If you go, will you come back again then?" I asked instead in a thin
voice.
"Yes, I’ll be back after a couple of months," he said.
"Do you promise?"
He nodded.
I remembered with painful clarity the separations we already had gone through and
sat sulking and silent in the car.
"If he really loves me, he doesn’t go," I thought.
"I don’t go anyway," TuTu said.
"You don’t mean it," I said, "it is just something you say to
make me happy right now."
"No, no," he said, "I don’t go if you feel that way."
I got doubtful.
If I managed to hold him back, maybe he would reproach me later that his family
had suffered because of his absence.
Suppose now his father died?
My resistance ebbed out.
We booked his ticket for nine days later.
THE MELTED HEART
One day, he mentioned in passing that he met my former boyfriend in the shopping mall and had the impression that he felt very bad and was very lonely.
I did not answer.
I knew that my former boyfriend had come back from Los Angeles and probably felt
depressed.
We had not seen much of each other in America, and the therapy had not given the result he had hoped for.
Without knowing how I knew it, I knew that TuTu expected me to do something in
that context, but that I was not willing to.
However, TuTu kept mentioning his name at various occasions, and the undertone of his loving and mild voice became increasingly more ominous every time, not as a threat so as to force me to perform an act that I did not want to do but as a warning that some actions were necessary for my life to unfold in the right way, no matter what he or I felt about it at the personal level.
I wringed my brain to find out how it would be possible for me to console my
former boyfriend without missing out on TuTu’s company, so when the Dane and we
were on our way out to dine one day, I suggested that we drove by the hostel
where he lived and
asked him if he wanted to come along.
We stopped by the hostel, and I went upstairs and rang the doorbell.
A fairly long time passed before the door was opened, and my former boyfriend’s
pale and sad face appeared at the door.
When he saw me, a faint glimpse lit up in his eyes.
I told him my errand, but he didn’t want to come along.
When I came down, TuTu’s face looked stifled in spite of the love that was always to be seen in his facial expression even under the direst of circumstances.
"Oh, so he didn’t want to come along," he asked gently.
"No," I answered defiantly, because it did not feel like the right action that I
had done, "but now he has got the chance, so he probably prefers to be alone."
"Is that the right action?" TuTu asked.
I did not answer.
We only had so little time left together before he had to travel.
"Let’s flip a coin about it?" he said in a milder tone of voice.
I nodded.
He flipped the coin, and I lost.
I tried with a timid objection: "Suppose he doesn’t want me to stay there?"
"Don’t worry about that. We’ll wait here until you have asked him."
I went upstairs and rang the doorbell again.
This time, the door was opened fast and my former boyfriend’s face became
visible at the door with hope radiating from his eyes.
"We thought that it might be a good idea that I stayed here for a while, if you
want me to," I said.
He nodded.
"All right, then I’ll go down and tell the others that they don’t have to wait
for me," I said.
He nodded again.
I became despondent.
TuTu was in continuous movement all over the city, and
I could not be sure where to meet him later, but then I got an idea.
I would leave the car with him and the Dane, because then we had to agree on a
specific time they had to pick me up again.
My former boyfriend had come with me downstairs, and when he spotted TuTu, he
walked over to him and thanked him because he had let me stay there.
TuTu looked l compassionately at him, put his hand on his shoulder
and said in his most gentle voice: "Don't think about it my friend and don’t
take time into consideration."
"What is it that you are saying?" I thought in a state of shock, "are you giving
me away indefinitely?
Why, it may take years, maybe a lifetime, if his heart has to open up from that condition he is in, and then what about you and me?"
TuTu had told me that I was the only one who could open up my former boyfriends’
heart, but that had not made me more receptive to his
suggestion.
Again, I felt in the grip of fate, for I had gradually learned that when I had
the feeling that I had now I might as well jump into whatever was ahead of me
instead of trying to escape it.
How could I be sure to meet TuTu tomorrow for that matter, it suddenly occurred
to me?
Tomorrow was the great day!
TuTu had told me that the following day held very special energies that were
suitable for the great initiation, and I wanted to be together with him on that
day so I could achieve it, whatever it consisted of.
"You can take the car," I said.
"It doesn’t matter. You can keep it," he said.
My resistance ebbed out.
I decided t