THE TUTU DOCTRINE

 

  

  

THE NEW WORLD ORDER

 

 

 



The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order is createdmanifested by
Harishchandra Sharma TuTu and Solvejg Sharma TuTu

 

 


 

Translated from Danish


  23rd Edition 2024

 

PUBLISHED BY 22's SOLFOND

Free Copyright



 

 

 THE 22 DOCTRINE 1
 

BEYOND REASON
 

 Meetings with a Master of Soul and a Master of Spirit: Second Coming of Jesus Christ

 

 

THE 22 DOCTRINE 2
 

THE BRIDGE
 

 The descend of and the principles passed on by The Second Coming of Jesus Christ

 

 

THE 22 DOCTRINE 3

 

THE SOFTENING OF THE STONE HEART
 

 The Earthly, Angelic, Divine and Spiritual Weddings of The Second Coming of Jesus Christ

 

 

THE 22 DOCTRINE 4

 

THE HOLY GRAIL
 

Four fairy tales describing one Buddhist and three Hinduistic archetypes, and The TuTu Doctrine describing the Holy Grail

 

 

THE 22 DOCTRINE 5

 

THE AVATAR OF SYNTHESES
 

 Life after life of The Second coming of Jesus Christ and The Tree of Life of the Kabbalah

 

 

 

THE 22 DOCTRINE 1

THE FIFTH DIMENSION

 

 

 

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

BEYOND REASON

 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

THE FEMININE:

THE EMOTIONAL

 
Contents part 1

 

CHAPTER 1

THE INITIATION

CHILDHOOD FAITH

HAVING IT OUT WITH GOD

GOALS OF LIFE

PSYCHOTROPICS 1

INITIATION 1

DOUBTS

CHAPTER 2

FACE TO FACE WITH THE MASTER

ARRIVAL AT THE MASTER’S

TELEPATHY

UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THE MASTER’S RADIATION

THE MASTER – MY GURU

QUESTIONS TO THE MASTER

GOD’S WILL

ARROGANCE 1

UNIVERSAL LOVE

PRAYER

GOD IN A FELLOW HUMAN BEING

THE MASTER’S IGNORANCE

A CLAIRVOYANT DREAM

THE MASTER’S RADIATION

THE MIRROR OF THE SOUL

DEPARTURE

CHAPTER 3

SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES

CONSTANT REMEMBRANCE

THE MASTER’S ANSWER TO A LETTER

SELF-CREATEDMANIFESTED LIMITATIONS

SIGNS FOR MY MEETING WITH TUTU

MEMORY IMAGE FROM A PREVIOUS INCARNATION

SUICIDE

THE INITIATION TAKES PLACE WHEN THE DISCIPLE IS READY

DECISION TO TRAVEL

CHAPTER 4

PILGRIMAGE

SIGNS OF THE MAGICAL RING

PSYCHOTROPICS 2

THE OLD MAN OF THE FAIRY TALES

THE MAGICAL RING

THE HEALING POWERS OF THE MAGICAL RING

THE OLD WOMAN OF THE FAIRY TALES

THE INFORMATIVE POWERS OF THE MAGICAL RING

SELF-CENTEREDNESS

ATTACHMENT

THE ARRIVAL AT THE HOTEL OF BLISS

THE PALM LEAF ARCHIVES

FIRST MEETING WITH TUTU

TUTU’S EGO DEATH

TRAVELING PLANS

SECOND MEETING WITH TUT

CONVERSATION IN THE BATH

PASSING ON OF THE MAGICAL RING

AGAINST ALL ODDS

THE LOVE RING

A TEST

TUTU’S TASK

1001 NIGHT’S ADVENTURES

THE END OF THE PILGRIMAGE

 

Contents part 1  Contents part 2  Contents part 3  Contents part 4  Contents part 5
 

THE INITIATION

 

 I went towards the ocean and sat down on the beach.
While gazing at the ocean, I remembered the Master.
How God brought the two of us together is something I marvel at.
He lived in the far East, I in the high North.
One day, I was a guest of one of his servants in the North.
This visit was a result of various currents in my life.

 

 

CHILDHOOD FAITH

 

I grew up in an atheist family, and when I wanted to attend Sunday school to get colored scraps like some of the other children, my parents told me that the teachers of Sunday school talked about God, but He did not exist in Reality.

I was further told that He was created by weak souls, who were not able to face that death is a black hole, where you sleep forever when life is over.

When I began public school, I was told that this wasn’t true; that God existed and was a very old man, who had lived always and that He was good and loving and loved all people.

His name was Yahweh and He was invisible, and he spoke in a way, which common people could not hear, so they only became aware that He was alive because some uncommon people existed, who were able to both see and hear Him.

I got the impression back then that there were many, like my parents, who believed that it was something the uncommon people invented because they were out to cheat the common people, but there were also many who believed in them, in particular, if they were able to perform miracles, like Moses did.

The uncommon ones said that God lived in the Heavens and from there He looked down on Earth and kept an eye to see if people complied with the ten important rules He had made for them.

The good ones believed in God and complied with the rules but the evil ones did not.

God invented various ways to torment the evil ones until they became good.

Even if you shouldn’t think so, God loved the evil ones too and you could know that because He grieved when He had to torment them.

God thought that some of the uncommon ones were particularly good, because they complied so much with Him that they were willing to kill their own children if He told them to.

In return, He would kill all their enemies, that is, if they otherwise needed to have somebody killed.

He gave special rewards to those who were so good that they chose to side with Him above everyone else.

They did not have to think about how they would have their wishes fulfilled because He would see to that, and in addition, they were allowed to be together with Him in Paradise, when they died

Furthermore, I was told that Paradise was a garden in Heaven, where they felt so wonderful that they would rather be there than anywhere else.

But at some point in time, nobody would obey Him anyway, and therefore He decided to kill all the people in the World except Noah and the animals, but this did not help much either; so He still had to torment people at regular intervals.

For example, I was told that He once sent an angel to a city to find out, who believed in Him in this city, but only one single person did.

The believer was told to take his wife with him out of the city, and when he had left, God killed the rest of the people in the city by burning them up with sulfur and fire.

The wife was told not to turn around to see what God did to the people she knew, but since she did so anyway, God had to change her into a pillar of salt.

I was told that God also had other means to torment those, who did not comply with Him.

Once you died, He would meet you and tell you that He knew if you had belonged to the good ones or the evil ones, when you were alive.

If you belonged to the evil ones, He sent you to hell, where the devil lived.

Hell was a place below the ground, and it was awful to be there, because people were burnt with sulfur and fire all the time, like the people in that city, which God burnt down.

The advantage of being tormented by God, while you lived, was that you risked becoming good from it, or else you could die from it; but the devil you only came down to after you were dead so therefore he could go on tormenting you forever.

The devil was easy to know from all others as he always had a trident with him and was either black or red and very ugly, and besides, he had a tail and horns on his brow like an animal, but he was so very sly that he had learned to make himself invisible or hide in the darkness, so he became difficult to discover.

He loved to torment and haunt as many as possible, and therefore he would like many to be evil, so God would let him have them when they died.

He tried to make people evil by making himself invisible and whisper in their ear that they should do something evil, which they otherwise never could have come up with themselves.

There were many, who did not discover that it was the work of the devil until it was too late, so you should always be wary of what you thought.

Those, who did not discover that it was he, who whispered in their ear, he got more and more power over, and so they came to belong to him when they died, and that problem God wouldn’t help them with because it was their own fault that they had been so stupid.

That made me wonder; since God was the strongest of the two, He could easily have taken those people from the devil and told him that they had not meant any harm by doing the things they had done, but he did not do it, because then it might happen that the devil would become so cross, because God interfered in his whispering to people that he no longer would help God; and then where was God to put all those He needed to send to hell?

The good ones wept a lot because there were so many, who wouldn’t believe in God, and the evil ones were so evil that they downright laughed at those, who believed in God; so in the end God saw no other way but sending his only Son out of the Heavens and down on Earth to tell the evil ones that they had to believe in God now, because otherwise it would become a serious matter.

His Son’s name was Jesus, and he had agreed to come down on Earth to perform miracles to make it easier for people to believe in God.

He had also agreed to be tormented and killed in a horrifying way, and therefore God loved him more than everybody else, because when people saw that, they would surely understand that they should take pity on God, because they had not believed in Him for such a long time that He had to treat His only Son in this way.

While Jesus walked on Earth, he promised that he would come down from Heaven again many years after he was tormented and killed, since he could not die for real like other people, because he was God’s Son.

At that time, he would see if it had helped any that he and God had done all this for people’s sake.

Those, who had not mended their ways, he would torment, and those, who had regretted that they didn’t believe in God in the past would be forgiven and be allowed to sit next to Jesus.

It was particularly fine to sit there, because he sat to the right hand side of God, the Father, but there was nobody, who knew, who sat to the left hand side of God, the Father.

 

 Contents part 1

HAVING IT OUT WITH GOD

 

I also felt sorry for God, because people wouldn’t believe in Him.

I wouldn’t mind believing in Him and doing what He wanted me to.

I would even be so good so as to side with Him above everyone else and was looking forward to have all my wishes fulfilled when I asked Him or Jesus for something.

My parents wouldn’t agree to let me get a dog, and so I asked God for a dog many times, but it didn’t help any because I did not get a dog anyway.

Not even a guinea pig even though I had agreed to settle for a guinea pig.

I thought that God might not be able to hear me, so I had better ask Jesus for it, but that didn’t help any either.

I began getting a hunch that neither God nor Jesus liked me.

That, I thought, was mean, but I kept that a secret, because the worst thing you could do was to think anything bad about God or Jesus.

I decided to go to church a lot to make God and Jesus like me.

One day, a priest threw me out of the church saying that it wasn’t a place for children.

That convinced me that God and Jesus really didn’t like me, and now I joined the evil ones, who thought that God didn’t exist, and who spoke about Him in demeaning ways, if He was mentioned at all.

Even though I could not discern that God punished me for it, I began fearing God’s revenge once I died and the time of reckoning came.

My fear of death slowly piled up into a feeling of hopelessness and melancholy, to such an extent that I began longing for death to get it over with and to get to know if God existed and wanted revenge, or if death was a black hole like my parents thought.

 

 

GOALS OF LIFE

 

As a young person, I sought for a goal for my life.


I took a closer look at those people who were rich and powerful, by reading about them in magazines, but I did not think they had anything that I wanted.


I took a closer look at the beautiful and the famous too, but I did not think they had anything that I wanted either.


I thought that I would like to have a husband whom I loved, and who loved me too.


I would also like to have some wonderful children who held out their little arms to me when I came home from work.


I got a husband and discovered that the love between us did not give me the satisfaction I had imagined.


I got a child and I did not think that the love between us gave me the satisfaction that I had hoped for.


I had had my wishes fulfilled, but they did not extinguish that peculiar longing that I had within me, and which I no longer could put a name to.

 

 

PSYCHOTROPICS 1

 

When II approached twenty-five years of age, my marriage dissolved, and I drifted on in life without coming across anything that could fulfill me.

It was part of the zeitgeist at that time to experiment with various substances to achieve expansion of consciousness, and I began smoking Indian hemp together with my sister and her husband.

Under the influence of the hemp, I achieved expanded states of consciousness that made it possible for me to experience life from new perspectives.

For some time, this gave me the satisfaction I had longed for.

I, my sister and her husband were excited about the World that opened up to us by the help of the hemp, and in the end, we smoked daily.

In particular we used the expanded states of consciousness to listen to music and talk about life.

My sister’s husband was spiritually inclined.

He was the first person I had met since my childhood’s showdown with God who did not use the word God as a profanity.

He talked about God as if He existed, and I wondered how he could bear to take God seriously.

He had written some poems about his relationship with God that he read aloud at times when we had smoked together, and they made a deep impression on me with their descriptions of a beautiful and painful love relationship, which was beyond anything I had experienced.

He also made paintings of God that envisioned an exploding power, and my perception of God as an old man with a long white beard began to stagger.

At the same time, this information createdmanifested resistance and fear in me because my childhood faith still sat so deep that, in spite of all my endeavors, I had not managed to shake it off, and my childhood God demanded that you only looked at Him as God.

If now I began to assume a new perspective, I probably chose an idol, and then He would surely take revenge when I died.

My sister’s husband also introduced the concept of reincarnation, rebirth in life after life, and I began hoping that my childhood understanding of God, death and hell was not true.

He talked about coming closer to God through inner enlightenment and about meditation as a means to achieve it, and again, I became interested in finding out something about God and shook off my resistance and my fear.

At some point the impact of the hemp began to change.

I remained in my normal state of mind in its most confused and suspicious form instead of feeling uplifted to expanded, clear and intuitive states of consciousness.

Inspired by my sister’s husband and the expanded states of consciousness from the hemp, I began to investigate the contemporary methods as to how to learn to meditate instead.

Now and then I got a glimpse of something that reminded me of the lost effect of the hemp, but not sufficiently, so I continued my quest.

 

 

INITIATION 1

 

One day, I was to meet a woman who also meditated.


When we met, she told me about her Master’s work that consisted in transmission of higher states of consciousness, which he and his servants, who are called preceptors, transmitted into the heart of the disciples, and she suggested that I received a transmission from her to experience it.


We sat down opposite each other with eyes closed.


She began transmitting.


Immediately, I got a vision, where I saw a beam of light that streamed from her third eye in my direction, and I got the impression of moving with great speed towards something that I did not know what was.


The feeling of speed slowed down.


The light divided into two beams and touched me directly in two chakras on my upper chest, and here they createdmanifested a slight pressure, before sliding in with a tingling sensation.

 

Then I felt a sharp snap in my head and re-experienced an event from the past that I had forgotten.


The memory disappeared, and a vision of delicate pastel shades that mingled with each other emerged.


In the end, it felt as if a hand gently stroke down the backside of my head.


Until then, I had only seen something with my inner eye when I dreamt in the night or formed images of memory from a situation or of a person I was thinking of.


It had never occurred to me that it was possible to see anything else, and when my third eye caught the light from the preceptor’s third eye, I opened my physical eyes to see if the sunlight from outside had come into the room and was playing on my eyelids, but that was not the case.


I did not know anything about the third eye, purification of old mind-images or The White Light, which actually had a tinge of gray in the same way as a foggy ray of sun that radiates down through a gap in the layer of clouds on an overcast day.

 

Although I had a splitting headache when I left, I was impressed.

 

Two days later, I was seated in the home of the preceptor again and received transmission.


Again, I saw The White Light.


This time, it streamed from all of her upper body and glided towards me like a huge wave that absorbed me and filled me with happiness.


I thought that life was wonderful and I wished to remain in this happiness-creating light forever.


In the end, I saw myself sitting in miniature at the bottom of a gray flower.

 

 

 Contents part 1

DOUBTS

 

I told others about my experiences and expected that they would want to investigate the Master’s transmission, but instead they doubted my sanity.


That made me uncertain, and I began doubting it too.


I exerted myself to the utmost, to spot the insanity, but I could not detect it, neither in myself nor in the other meditating people; so I shook off my fears and continued to receive transmissions and other guidance from the preceptor.


When she spoke about the Master, I became particularly attentive.


One day, she mentioned that he had ulcers.


I was shaken.


If it were really true that he was a Master, then why did he not heal himself?

 

Again my childhood’s image of God emerged to the surface and made me think that if he had been Jesus, he would have healed himself.


Maybe he wasn’t a Master in Reality but one of the powers of darkness who used the light to snare people, and only after they were trapped would they become aware that, in Reality, all of it had been the delusion of the devil.


It dawned on me that even if it turned out that this wasn’t the case, innermost, I had hoped to get his help to escape from sufferings, but how would he be able to help me with that when he himself was suffering from an illness?


However, I did not feel like giving up the expanded states of consciousness, so I decided that I had to wait and see how everything developed, and I shook off my fear.

 

My desire to meet the Master in person grew, and finally came the day when I stood face to face with him for the first time.

 

FACE TO FACE WITH THE MASTER

  

ARRIVAL AT THE MASTER’S

 

We were a group of twelve Europeans, who had traveled together to New Delhi, and we had decided that six of us would go to the Master for the first week while the other six waited in New Delhi and vice versa as there was not so much room on his farm.


I was going in the first batch, but three of the group members had agreed to take a taxi from New Delhi to Shahjahanpur, and they had left without telling the rest of us who had planned to take the train the next morning.


When I discovered that, I persuaded the other two to take a taxi together with me, but I was furious at those three who had left without us.

 

We arrived in Shahjahanpur some time into the evening and asked people for directions, but it took a long time before we finally met a person who knew who the Master was.


I got disheartened by this, because if he was a great spiritual Master like I had been told, it appeared strange to me that hardly anybody in his own town knew who he was.


When we entered the courtyard, I spotted the other three standing on the terrace, facing away from us.
 

I rushed over to them furiously and said to one of them: "Do you think you can stand by what you did?" but when he turned his face towards me, I came to a halt and stared at him, astonished.


His face had a peaceful refulgence, which had not been there when I saw him twelve hours earlier in New Delhi

 

 

TELEPATHY

 

At that moment, everybody turned their heads towards a corridor at the right side of the building complex.


The Master came walking out from there.
 

He was a delicately built, thin and bald man, 74 years of age.


Slightly stooped, he came towards us, and at that instant a thought that I knew wasn’t my own arose in my mind: "Who disturbs the peace?"
 

In a breathless moment I realized that telepathy exists.
 

The next moment, I realized that it was I who disturbed the peace.

 

First I felt ashamed, and then I felt angry.


It was unfair that I was attacked in this way.


It wasn’t I who had made a mistake but the others.


Inexplicably, I felt that the Master did not share my point of view and got confused.

 

 

 Contents part 1

UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THE MASTER’S RADIATION

 

He passed by us with a short greeting, by placing one palm of his hand against the other in front of his chest and nodding lightly with his head.


This greeting is called Namaste or the God-greeting and it means: "I greet God in you."


He sat down on a chair on the terrace, and I and the rest of the European and Indian disciples sat down on chairs in a semicircle around him.


Yet not a word had been spoken.


Now and then I looked investigatingly at him.


He had radiant, beautiful eyes, and his face was light from refulgence.


His radiation was intense.


I got an urgent need to meditate and closed my eyes.


A huge image of Jesus on the cross rolled up before my inner eye and disappeared.


Yet another question, which wasn’t my own, appeared in my mind: "Why have you come?"


I answered in my mind too: "I have come to get proof of…. something."


I wringed my brain: "Now, why was it I had come?"


I rummaged my thoughts but did not find an answer.


I realized that I did not know why I had come, but I tried to wring a question out of my brain because I sensed that the Master’s attention would be directed elsewhere if I didn’t have anything to ask, but all my thoughts had ebbed out and left me in a state of silence and a feeling of happiness.

 

 

THE MASTER – MY GURU

 

After some time, I opened my eyes and looked impressed at the Master.


He looked straight ahead of himself, and I looked around a bit and discovered that another disciple sat with eyes closed.


"He is truly a Master," I thought "never have I experienced anything like this."


Little by little, we all had opened our eyes, and soon a lively conversation went on between the Master and us.


When he bid us goodnight, I wanted to show him that now I considered him to be my Master, my Guru.


I waited until the others had walked away a bit and therefore could not hear me, made the God-greeting and said: "Good night. My Master."


Now it was said out loud.

 

 

QUESTIONS TO THE MASTER

 

The Master’s eldest son managed the farm and his wife, their two daughters, an old maid and an office worker helped out.


The next morning, we were woken up by one of the Master’s grandchildren, a young woman, who said that breakfast was ready.


We went downstairs, and the Master already sat in a corner of the courtyard in the early morning sun smoking his hookah.


His hookah sent out a pleasant spiced and sweet fragrance, and later I found out what was in it.


At the bottom there was a layer of molasses, then tobacco, and on top of the tobacco was glowing charcoal that kept the tobacco lit.


The Indian disciples sat in a semicircle around him on the ground, and all of a sudden, I thought that I didn’t have time to eat my breakfast and swallowed it in a hurry to join the group.

 

I wanted to hear his answer to my most burning question and I asked: "What is death?"


"Don’t you feel the peace of the morning?" he asked surprised.


"No, I have too many questions," I answered.


"Write them down, and I’ll answer them one by one," he said.


I went up to my room immediately but when I put the pen to the paper, yet another question arose that wasn’t my own: "How would it help me that he explained what death is?"


I realized that even if the Master were able to answer the question to my satisfaction, my next question would be: "I wonder if what he says is true."


I took up my next question, but in the same way, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to use the answer for anything, and before I knew it, I was purged of questions.


Marveling, I went down to the courtyard and sat down together with the other disciples in front of the Master without asking him anything.

 

 

GOD’S WILL

 

The Master usually sat on his terrace and worked with the disciples, who sat in a semicircle around him.


I noticed that one woman often sat on the chair right opposite him, and I also wanted to sit at the center of his happiness-creating attention.


I decided to sit down on that chair next time we gathered around him, but hardly had I sat down before I felt that I had behaved improper.


I got up, went out into the courtyard as randomly as possible and sat down on another chair when I came back.


I wondered about the incident and decided to repeat the experiment, but the result was the same.


The third time we went down there, I arrived as the last one.


The only chair vacant was the chair opposite the Master.

 

Beaming from joy I sat down.

 

I had heard sentences like: "Every single hair on our heads is accounted for" or "Not a sparrow falls to the ground without it being the will of God."


After my experiences with the chairs I began to wonder if that might be true, because if it mattered which chair I sat down on, then that might also be true.


One day, another disciple asked the Master about it, and laughingly he answered: "Yes, but the opposite is also true. God’s will does not move without the creaturesmanifestations wanting it."

 

 

 Contents part 1

ARROGANCE 1

 

A session where the Master or his preceptors transmit The White Light to a group or a single person is called a sitting.


The spiritual work, which took place when we were together with him, most often, consisted in him giving us a sitting in the morning and in the evening.


Besides this, another part of the work took place automatically when we sat together with him and were influenced by his radiation.


One evening, the Master led a group sitting that lasted unusually long, and he breathed deeply like a person sleeping.


I had become sore from sitting for such a long time on the hard clay floor and I tiptoed out of the room to go to the back most courtyard to tell the young woman who was his grandchild that he had fallen asleep and ask her what we should do.


She said that she would take the dog to the courtyard and make it bark.

 

Then he would probably wake up.


I tiptoed back into the room, and just as I slid through the door, he looked straight at me, and then his eyes were closed again.


A few minutes later the dog barked in the courtyard and the Master stopped the sitting.


When I and the married couple I shared room with were about to sleep, the wife said: "It was good indeed that you had the courage to do something, otherwise we would be sitting there still."


By this thought we burst into laughter, and after we started laughing, we couldn’t stop again.

 

We laughed for hours about everything between Heaven and Earth, and I was happy and satisfied with myself when in the end we dropped off to sleep.


The next morning, the Master’s transmission had hardly begun before I began to feel ashamed and I got confused because I did not understand why.


It occurred to me that I had reasons to feel ashamed about my behavior the previous evening.


Patiently, the others had waited the unfolding of events even if they were sore from sitting on the floor too, but I had not been patient, and on top of that, I was arrogant enough to think that I was above them because of my action.


It had not occurred to me that the event could be seen from this perspective, and my feeling of shame grew.


In the end, tears rolled down my cheeks.


Till this point, I had not thought of myself as arrogant or impatient, but after the sitting I decided that I will not allow myself to be like that anymore.

 

 

UNIVERSAL LOVE

 

One afternoon, we were together with the Master on the terrace.


The conversation switched among many topics, but soon the voices glided past my ear like a faint humming in the background.


I was absorbed in watching the Master’s facial expressions and hand movements while he spoke, and at the same time, I sank deeper and deeper into a feeling of bliss.


Gratefully I thought: "Oh Master. I love you."


At that moment, he stopped talking and leaned back in his chair, as if he heard my thought, and it also felt as if a special connection arose between us.


A moment later, he resumed the interrupted conversation.


I wanted to investigate if it was a coincidence, so the next day I stood in a place where I could see him but he could not see me.


I concentrated, recreatedremanifested the emotion and repeated the thought.

 

"I love you, too," it sounded soundlessly in my thoughts, and he also turned his face in my direction, and again I got this feeling that a special connection arose between us.


I became happy and thought that his love was a special boon for me alone, but when I told it to one of the other disciples, she said that she knew this experience too.


Later, I heard other disciples, both male and female, express similar experiences and I understood that the Master’s love was universal.

 

 

PRAYER

 

In the Master’s suggestions for daily practice a short prayer was included but I was reluctant to prayer, so I hadn’t used it yet.


One evening, on the terrace, the Master made us all roar with laughter again and again, and my mood became so light and bright that I decided to use the prayer, and when we came up to our room, I asked the wife if she would teach me.


I repeated it after her a couple of times, and then we lay down to sleep.


I repeated the prayer a couple of times in my thoughts, and with a rush I felt lifted to a feeling of great height, lying in blissful darkness.


For some time I floated there, and then, before my inner eye, I saw myself slide down through a long dark tunnel.


In the distance I could see the exit, and it was filled with The White Light.


After this experience I let go of my reluctance towards prayer.

 

 

GOD IN A FELLOW HUMAN BEING

 

One morning, the wife was ill, and she said to her husband and me that we shouldn’t tell anybody because she was convinced that it would take its right course when she was with the Master.


Later that morning, a doctor came to her and inquired about her health, and she asked us if we had told anybody, but that we had not.


She beamed like a sun and said: "No matter what happens to you, the Master takes care of it. Just think, how did he know that I was ill?"

 

The doctor prescribed some homeopathic medicines which she should take three times a day, and turning towards me, he gave me the medicines and instructed me as to when she was to take what.


When he left, to my irritation, I became aware that it was expected that I should give her the medicine.


I thought it was a restriction on my freedom that I had to keep an eye on time so I could not just devote myself entirely to my experiences with the Master.

 

Moreover, I had a feeling that the Master made ​ ​me her servant, and it made ​​me feel that he loved her more than me.


A biblical sentence went through my head: "Am I my brother’s keeper?"


I was unpleasantly affected when I remembered that it was Cain’s reply to God when God asked where Abel was after Cain had killed him.


I considered giving the medicine to her husband but hesitated, because if it was the Master’s wish that I should do it, he might punish me somehow if I did not do it.

 

I did not feel like telling her that she had to take care of taking her medicines herself, because she sat gazing happily ahead of herself and repeated: “Just think, how did he know that I was ill? The Master certainly takes care of everything”.


Reluctantly, I took on the task, but was not very particular about giving her the medicine on time.


The following afternoon, I saw the doctor together with her in the courtyard and hurried over there.


He was dissatisfied with the effects of the medicine and was prescribing something else, while he instructed another woman as to what she was going to have and when.


I felt that my task was given to somebody else because I had been irresponsible and I said a silent prayer asking for another chance.


At that very moment, the doctor turned towards me, took the medicine from the other woman, gave it to me and instructed me.


I felt relieved, and after this I saw to it that she got her medicine punctually until she was well again.

 

Sometimes, it also happened that some of the Indian disciples told me how to meditate, and I got irritated.


Why did they tell me that?

 

Did I look like a beginner?


How could they know?

 

I did not listen to what they said, but one afternoon on the terrace with the Master, he corrected my form of meditation.


His transmission started flowing towards me, and I closed my eyes.


Then, I felt how my consciousness was gently focused in my heart and was rocking there, until the transmission stopped.

I had begun to believe that the Master knew everything that happened to me because of our telepathic contact, and the events with the doctor and the other disciples made me think that in some mysterious way or other, he was also present in all the events I participated in, so that he could steer my life and my development in the right direction, now that he had become my Guru.


Thus I had begun to believe that he was omniscient and omnipotent, and for the first time I had got the idea that God’s qualities could be ascribed to a fellow human being, and that God’s influence on my life had got something to do with my fellow human beings.

 

 Contents part 1

 

THE MASTER’S IGNORANCE

 

One afternoon on the terrace, the conversation changed onto healing herbs.


The Master told us that once he had been at the doctor’s, and then he had known how the various medicines in the doctor’s bottles worked merely by holding them in his hand.

 

The doctor had been amazed and had said that everything the Master said was correct.


After narrating this, he leaned back in his chair and looked around at us like a happy child who was proud of what he had accomplished, and now he expected that we came up with an appropriate reaction.


Nobody said anything, and I stared perplexed at him.


Didn’t he himself know that he was omniscient, so that thing should be the very least of his tricks?

 

 

A CLAIRVOYANT DREAM

 

One night, I had an unusual dream.


I dreamt that I went into the bathroom at the Master’s farm to take a shower.

 

When I came out there, the Master was lying in a new sunken bathtub, which had been built into the floor, together with a woman who was also his disciple, and who began meditating ahead of me.


I became a bit perplexed about the situation but thought that it was probably all right when it concerned the Master and jumped into the bathtub myself.


As soon as I lay there the other woman disappeared, and I was glad to get an opportunity to be alone with him.


He put his arms around me.


Sexual feelings arose in me, but I hoped that he did not discover that.


I was quiet as a mouse waiting to see what else would happen, but nothing happened, and he got out of the bathtub.


While we stood there wiping ourselves, he also came in through the door.


I looked in confusion from one to the other, but then the Master who came in through the door took out a fire hose and washed down the Master next to me with it.


His appearance melted away like wax on a doll, and a handsome young man stood next to me instead of the Master.


I left the Master’s farm together with him.


For a long time we walked on an edge between the land and the ocean.


Towards the ocean was a deep fall.


He didn’t say anything, and I was waiting for something to happen.


At some point, we came to some kind of shop, which looked like a cylinder with a pointed roof.


There was a hatch in the wall, and I put my head in and looked around.


There were all kinds of oddities in there.


The young man said that I could choose what I wanted from there.


For a moment, I was tempted by a mirror that I thought was magical.

 

I had a feeling that my choice was decisive, and therefore I did not want to take chances because of a mirror.


I pulled out my head again and said that there was nothing I wanted from there.


The young man disappeared, and all of a sudden, I found myself inside a white castle.


I had been taken there against my will, and when I arrived, a man in a wheelchair came to inspect me.


He scared me for some reason or other and I recoiled, but he followed me.


I made some hand movements, and he rolled his wheelchair backwards and disappeared.


Then I was bathed by servants in a big sunken bathtub, which was built in the middle of a beautiful room.

 

Then I was dressed up in transparent robes and lined up together with some other girls in similar transparent robes.


I was told that a bride for the prince would be selected from among us.


The prince himself was only a child, and the chosen one had to marry his substitute who was going to lead the realm until the prince himself became adult enough to take over both the bride and the realm.


I felt that it was not appropriate for me to become the chosen one, and wondered how I could make myself ugly.


At that moment, it was announced that the chosen one was found.


A lively talk arose, and I took the opportunity to slip out of the hall.


On my way out, I tiptoed into the substitute’s room.


He was in deep sleep and was a handsome young man, with black curly hair, finely drawn eyebrows and thick, black, long eyelashes, which rested on his cheeks.


For a moment, I was sad that I wasn’t the chosen one.


I wondered if I should slip in and see the prince but gave it up, because he was after all only a child yet.

 

Suddenly, I found myself in front of the gate leading into the Master’s farm.

 

My clothes were torn and dirty, and I had a pair of wet socks in my hand.


Tired, I dragged myself
across the courtyard.


The Master sat in a corner in the sunshine together with a group of disciples and he did not react to my return.


I went upstairs to my room, took off my clothes and showered; dressed in a long, clean, white cotton dress and went down and sat among the other disciples in front of the Master.


As soon as I sat down, I felt the blessed feeling of the power of the transmission streaming into me and filling me up.


Tired but satisfied, I closed my eyes and slipped into meditation.

 

When I woke up, I felt intuitively that I had had a clairvoyant dream about the future.


I was upset about it, because I believed that it said that at some point in time I would leave the Master to be together with a young man who looked like the Master but who wasn’t him.


Then, I would go through a series of hardships and, in the end, return to the Master in a soiled condition with a pair of wet socks in my hand as a sign of my mistakes.


I thought it was best to avoid the mistakes and pondered over how to avoid the dream from coming true, but then realized that I couldn’t figure out how to avoid something which I didn’t know what was.

 

 

 Contents part 1

THE MASTER’S RADIATION

 

Reluctantly, we realized that the last of our seven days with the Master had come.


The other group would arrive in the course of the evening, and I looked forward to seeing them again.


I was in the dining room when I heard them arrive and hurried out to say hello, but when I came out into the courtyard I stopped, surprised, and I stood still observing them from far.


A quivering unrest streamed out from them and any desire to go meet them left me.


Their luggage had just been unloaded from the rickshaws, and they stood a little inside the gate looking tired and colorless.

 

The quivering unrest which surrounded them vibrated through the sublime peace that existed on the Master’s farm, and which I had become a part of.


First, when I experienced the contrast, I understood how the Master’s radiation had affected my state of being.

 

 

THE MIRROR OF THE SPIRIT

 

When the group had been quartered, we went to the terrace.


I was curious to see which chair I would get, and when I reached there, both the new and the old group were seated already.


The only chair available was the one opposite the Master.


Happily I sat down and looked at him.


I wanted to do something or the other to show him how grateful I was because I had met him, but couldn’t think of anything.


Suddenly, he looked straight into my eyes.


I looked into his eyes, which opened to me in a very special way.


It appeared to me as if veil after veil lifted from them, and I looked deeper and deeper.


I looked and I looked, but no matter how deep I looked, there were still immeasurable depths to be seen.


It lasted maybe a few seconds, but I was overwhelmed.


It had been like looking into eternity!

 

 

DEPARTURE

 

Somebody whispered to me that our taxi had arrived.


I bent over and said it to the Master with a soft and subdued voice.


We got up to take leave and said goodbye one by one.

 

When we came back to New Delhi, we felt that our newly acquired condition was disturbed by the noise and unrest of the big city, and agreed to go back to our respective home countries instead of staying in New Delhi for that one week we had planned.

 

SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES

 

 CONSTANT REMEMBRANCE

 

It was strange to return to my usual surroundings, because they were the same as they were ten days ago but I had changed.


I often experienced the same condition, which I had had together with the Master.


When the condition was not there, I tried to bring it forth and discovered that an efficient means to achieve it was to think of him.

 

Hence, I made it a habit to think of how it had been to be together with him, and about what transpired while I had been there.


I also began reading his books and in one of these it said that what I was doing is called Constant Remembrance, and that this was one of his suggestions for training one’s capacity to focus spiritually.


Gradually, as I spoke with other meditating people both from the Master’s system of meditation and other systems, and at the same time, my capacity to focus developed, I understood that a person usually selects his/her spiritual guide for the purpose of achieving his/her own conscious contact with God, but since it is difficult to focus your attention on something as abstract as the emptiness in the focus point, which is required to see, hear, feel or sense God, you can use your chosen guide to create an inner focus point by directing your thoughts towards this person throughout the day.


However, this is only an advantageous practice if the guide has a capacity which makes it possible for the disciple to experience God’s qualities in him/her.

 

 Contents part 1

 

THE MASTER’S ANSWER TO A LETTER

 

Sometimes, I wondered what it actually was that I wanted from the Master.


At one point in time, I had imagined that experiences with extrasensory phenomenon such as telepathy would satisfy my longing to get an answer to something that I still did not know what could be, but the extrasensory experiences that I had together with the Master had not brought me any closer to my goal, which I was not aware of what could be either.


Eventually, I decided to write to him that I was frequently seized by doubts about who he was, what his qualities were, and what his purpose was, and his answer to this letter was overwhelming, particularly because he didn’t say or write one word.


At the same time, I became aware that I didn’t have to sit in front of him in India to be able to receive his transmission.

 

A little more than a week after posting the letter, I got a fever and had to go to bed.


I intuitively felt that my fever-condition was due to the fact that the Master had received my letter and transmitted to me so powerfully that my physical system became heated, and therefore I decided to meditate although I had been told that it was better not to do so during illness.

 

I was lying in bed meditating but, suddenly, I felt as if I was sitting up, and that was the first time I experienced that my body sensation was in another place as compared to where my physical body was placed.


This made me think that the Master wanted to show me that he had the capacity to bring me into contact with my astral body.

 

In the evening, I heard light running steps on the stairs that led up to my bedroom.


I was alone in the house and I listened anxiously.


Suddenly, I sensed that my sister stood in the doorway, invisible to my inner and outer eye.


She shook in a heart-breaking way and a complaint reached my inner ear: "I'm freezing, and I am so lonely."


My stomach contracted from compassion.


Without words or thoughts I answered: "Then come and make yourself warm here by me."


I lifted the cover and felt a light weight of an invisible being, half my size, lay down next to me.


I wanted to say something but could no longer find out how one communicated without thoughts or words.


Instead I thought: "Do you want me to come and visit you?"


I did not get an answer, and the feeling of the weight next to me had disappeared too.


I hoped to attain clarity about the experience by comparing it with her experience at the same point in time, and so I called her the following day and asked her what she experienced around that time.


She slept.


In spite of the lack of confirmation from her side, I felt that the Master had shown me that he had the capacity to establish my communication with other beings in the inner World in a special way, without the use of words or thoughts, and yet clearer and more direct than when I expressed myself by the help of words or thoughts.

 

In the afternoon, again, I decided to meditate and had a vision of a strange cylindrical object that turned around its own axes while at the same time moving forward in space.


From its North and South Pole ran some kind of tubes with various colors at the ends.


When it disappeared, my field of vision was filled with a blue sky with oval openings.


I discovered that the colors of the oval openings imperceptibly changed color to the tones of a celestial music the likes of which I had never heard before or since.


"Oh, this must be the music of the spheres," I thought.

 

Much later, I realized it to be the sound of OM emanating from the Heavenly choir.

 

The following day, I had a vision where the extended space was filled with little tiny dots that moved forward in the sky in perfect formation.

 

At that time, I did not understand what the Master tried to show me with these two visions and sadly, I wrote in my spiritual journal: "What good does it do me that the Master shows me all of this when I don’t have the capacity to understand what he says to me".

 

Much later, after my Spiritual Wedding with TuTu had taken place, I was led into the consciousness of our Cosmic Egg by my groom, and seen from this perspective, I understood that the Master had indeed answered my questions as to who he was and what his purpose was by the help of these experiences.


In the first vision, he had let me experience The Cosmic Eggs seen from the outside, together with the sound-image which springs from them.


In the second vision, he had shown me the archetypal formation
of The Cosmic Eggs.


At that point in time, I also understood that a spiritual aspirant can experience The Cosmic Eggs from the outside, if he/she can penetrate the seventh dimension consciously and from the inside if he/she can penetrate the Absolute consciously.

 

His answer to my letter had thus been that he was a seventh dimension Master, and as such, he had the capacity to take me into this dimension and this was his purpose.


This conclusion, I felt, was confirmed by the Master himself when I read in one of his books that his highest approach to the Absolute consisted in seeing the shell of the Egg from the outside.


When he tried to come closer he felt a powerful jolt, which prevented him from advancing any further.

 

 

SELF-CREATEDMANIFESTED LIMITATIONS

 

For a long time, there had been rumors that the Master would come to Europe, among other purposes to spend some time in Copenhagen, but in the end, we were informed that his visit would be postponed for a year because of his health.


My disappointment was so intense that I decided to go to India again even if I did not have the money for it.


I took a closer look at my finances and found that it could be done comparatively easily, and thereby, for the first time, I made the discovery that many things I did not think possible proved to be so if I began to act as if they were.

 

 Contents part 1

 

SIGNS FOR MY MEETING WITH TUTU

 

The second time I was at the Master’s, I had many dreams and two of them stood clear for several years thereafter.


In one dream, I was very weak and some people circled around me, worried.


I didn’t think there was any cause for worry as my weakness was a kind of an act that I put up, because I hoped it would make the Master personally come and attend to me.


I had the idea that he would only come if I weren't able to do without him, and therefore, I rejected help from those present who did not understand my unspoken desire for his
presence.


I managed to become so weak that I could let myself drop lifeless on the floor.

 

That createdmanifested commotion, and a couple of people tried to get me back on my feet but I made myself heavy and let myself drop on the floor again, and in the end they saw no other solution than to implore the Master to personally to come and see what could be done.

 

When he came, I had been lifeless for so long that I wasn’t able to get back on my feet even if I wanted to get up to show him my joy about his arrival.

 

However, with great effort, I managed to whisper: "It is because I love you so much."


My voice was barely audible and I was afraid that he had not heard it, so with a superhuman effort, I managed to get on my feet and take one staggering step towards him.


Then my legs carried me no further, and I fell into his arms.


Before I lost consciousness again, I managed to repeat barely audible "It is because I love you so much."


Later, it would prove that the dream showed the state of confusion and weakness I was in when TuTu came into my life, and that this was actually the energy pattern or archetype of The Sleeping Beauty that I experienced in this context.

 

 

MEMORY IMAGE FROM A PREVIOUS INCARNATION

 

In the second dream, I was on tour with the Master and a group of other disciples who were allowed to follow him on this tour.


He was young and handsome and looked like one of those colored scraps of Jesus I had seen in my childhood.


His mere presence was a blessing to the places he visited, and it was exciting to see that even if many people weren’t aware of who he was, they were attracted to the love and compassion that radiated from him.


On our tour, we made a stop at a small village.


In this village, there was a kind of restaurant, which consisted of a roughly carved wooden table with roughly carved benches on each side of it.


Soon the interaction between the Master and the local inhabitants began.


I was seized by jealousy when too much time passed by without him giving me special attention.


Usually, he helped me instantly by sending me a loving glance or by coming up with a cheerful remark.


When he had done that, I felt reassured and was able to observe his interaction with the surroundings again.

 

Once, my jealousy arose when he was deeply absorbed in a conversation, and he continued with it without taking my feelings into consideration.


I was out of my mind of restlessness and pain, and I realized that I had to find a way out of this feeling, but I could not get out of it and became despondent.


At that moment, he turned his face towards me with a cheerful twinkle in his eyes, while at the same time, he almost imperceptibly shook his head as if he wanted to say: "You little fool. You do know that I love you."


I became so happy to discover that he had been aware of what was happening within me all along that my jealousy vanished and I was able to rejoice in his interaction with the surroundings again.


Later, this proved to be a memory dream from a previous incarnation that, at the same time, pointed out what was going to become my most important problem in my relationship with TuTu.
 

 Contents part 1

SUICIDE

 

It was a common perception among disciples that the Master could say everything about a person merely by looking at a photo of the person, and I had brought a photo with me to India, of a friend who had committed suicide.


His wife and I had talked a lot about his suicide, and she wanted to write a letter to the Master, to ask about his destiny after death.


We spoke about it one day when I had just come from a sitting with my preceptor.


The preceptor had mentioned that one could get answers to spiritual questions by channeling them up through a certain point on one’s head and then going into deep meditation, forgetting about the question asked.


I did not think that it was a coincidence that I had got this information on this very day, and so I suggested to my friend’s wife that I should try to get an answer for her.


She agreed, and I sat down, asked the question, went into deep meditation and forgot about it.


During the meditation, I had a vision.


I saw a bright figure in front of a dark house.

 

Everything was in darkness, and the house wasn’t visible, but I knew that it was there.


In the distance, far behind it, I saw a whitish gleam.


The bright figure rushed restlessly back and forth in front of the house.


I could see the entrance of the house and did not understand why he did not go through it so that he could reach the light in the distance, but then I realized that he could not see the door.


I got an intense desire to help and thought: "There! There!" when he passed by it.


When my inner eye caught the image, I looked at it with the same detachment as I would look at a random passer-by in the street.


Then, I remembered my question and it gave a jerk in me.


"Yes, but that is my friend," I thought.


My next thought went to his wife.


"No, I can’t tell her that. She’ll go out of her mind from sorrow, when she hears it… on the other hand, the purpose of this meditation is, after all, to get an answer for her, so I have to tell her."


I opened my eyes and told her what I had seen.


To my surprise, she got relieved and said: "How good it was that I didn’t get around to send a letter to the Master, because it is a totally different question I want to ask; now that I hear the answer, instead, I want to know what can be done to help him."


She wrote a letter to the Master and after some time she had a dream, where her husband smiled at her and seemed to be feeling good, but she wasn’t satisfied with this result, and we decided that I should take a photo of him to the Master and ask if anything could be done for him.


The Master looked at the photo for a while and answered that I and his wife could pray for him and so we did at times until the Master came to Copenhagen the following year.


The wife approached him again and asked yet another time for help, and he answered that she could pray for him.

 

She said that she had done that.


He became silent for a couple of minutes.


"I will do something," he then said.


Later that evening, I sat in his room together with some other disciples when his most prominent Indian preceptor entered.


Later on, he turned out to be the Master’s successor as a guide for the disciples, and therefore, I have chosen to call him the Master’s Crown Prince.


"I have got a suicide case and…" the Master said cheerfully and reverted into Hindi while
he eagerly gesticulated and explained the case to the Crown Prince.


I was surprised by his cheerfulness because I thought that suicide was a depressing topic, but he seemed to think that he had got an interesting case, and now, he wanted to show the Crown Prince how you could handle such a case.

The next day, he summoned my friend’s wife and said: "I found him in a corner of the Universe. I simply took him and moved him from one shelf to another. Now I have done something, and now he has peace."

 

 

THE INITIATION TAKES PLACE WHEN THE DISCIPLE IS READY

 

After my second visit to India, I was convinced that the only thing I really wanted was Self-realization, about which I did not know anything, but the Master often spoke about it as the highest good for the disciples, and sometimes I reproached him in my thoughts that he did not uplift me to this stage immediately as I believed he had the capacity to do so.


I found it hard to believe when he wrote in his books that he was always eager to give his associates, as he called the disciples, the highest spiritual approach as soon as possible.


If that was so, then why didn’t he uplift me to the stage of Self-realization right now?

 

One day, I received a transmission from a preceptor and got a vision of the Master’s face, which was transparent and covered my whole field of vision.


The hollows of his eyes were empty, and I stood in miniature on the rim of one eye.


An invisible hand was stretched out towards me and a soundless voice offered me: “Self-realization NOW?!!”

 

I felt I had to throw myself out from his eye into the empty void if I wanted to attain it, but I was as if frozen in death fear.


"I first have to see what will happen between my boyfriend and me," I thought.


In that fraction of a second, the vision disappeared.


I was surprised to discover that I was afraid of Self-realization.


After that day, I often tried to do away with my fear by recalling the vision during contemplation and imagining that I jumped.


Even if I set my willpower up to do it I only succeeded in imagining doing it once, but this fantasy did not bring about any change in my state of consciousness.


On the other hand, I became aware that the difference between a fantasy-induced spiritual experience and a genuine one
is that the genuine one brings forth a change in my state of consciousness and the one produced by my fantasy gives me information of a different kind about my mind.

 

 

DECISION TO TRAVEL

 

While the Master was in Copenhagen, a desire emerged, to stake everything I’d got to come closer to him, and I decided to do a pilgrimage where I would spend a year together with him but various hindrances arose that restricted my stay in the East to three months, where I would spend one week in the beginning and one week in the end of the journey together with him.

 

Between the first and the last week of traveling, I would go into the Himalayan Mountains to Nepal and then go south to Madras to receive transmissions from the Crown Prince.

 

My sister wanted to come.

 

We agreed to travel, five people in all - my sister, her boyfriend, her son, my son and I.

 

PILGRIMAGE

 

SIGNS OF THE MAGICAL RING

 

We left the Master’s farm and went towards Nepal.


When we reached into the Himalayan Mountains, I discovered that the feeling which I called the Master’s presence washed through me many times a day, and now I understood why the Himalayan Mountains were considered to be a shrine that many Indians aspired to visit at least once in their lives.


After a short stay in Katmandu, we went back to a city called Pokhara and took lodging in a hotel called Fewa, which was situated by the mountain lake.


Here, we met a traveling salesman from the West, who showed us a little dull looking metal lump, which he had hanging in a leather strap around his neck.


He told us that this metal was made in a distant past in the temples and consisted in an alloy of seventeen metals.


People with knowledge of it would pay high prices to gain possession of just a little piece, because it was said to possess magical properties and bring luck to the possessor.


He shone a small corner of the lump, and we saw that the metal shone clearer than gold and deeper than silver.


We imagined that he tried to sell it and asked the price, but it turned out that he did not want to sell it.

 

 Contents part 1

 

PSYCHOTROPICS 2

 

Usually, we took our meals in a small restaurant called Suraj, which means sun.


One day, I spoke to an Irishman there.


I had seen him several times.


Every day, he sat there rolling a joint after his meal, and I felt like smoking some of the famous Nepalese hemp, but did not know where one could buy it.


It was a long time since I had smoked hemp, and I wanted to see if the effect was still confusing.


To get into contact with him I asked what he was doing.

 

He explained that he was making a joint and asked me if I wanted to smoke, so I took a couple of drags.


I got strongly affected and entered a high and clear altered state of awareness.

 

 

THE OLD MAN OF THE FAIRY TALES

 

In the course of the next few days, the Irishman and I spent more and more time in each other’s company, and every time I took a couple of drags from his joint.


One afternoon
, I sat together with him in silence and looked out through the open doors of the restaurant.


An old man came walking down the path towards us.

 

He was delicately built and fragile like the Master, and he walked in the same way.


I swallowed him in one glance.


His clothes were poor and worn out, and he looked tired.


I thought that if he had been the Master I would have helped him by giving him some money.


Spontaneously, I got up, went over to him, greeted him reverently with the God-greeting and gave him all the money that I had in my purse.


When I came back to Suraj, the Irishman asked: "What on Earth did you do?"


"I gave him all my money."


"Are you crazy?"


"You don’t understand," I said, "but he looked like my Guru."


The Irishman shook his head, but I was very satisfied with my action because it was the first time in my life that I acted spontaneously out of pure generosity.

 

 

THE MAGICAL RING

 

The following morning, the Irishman, my sister’s son, my son and I sat in the morning sun and had our breakfast when some traveling Tibetan merchants came over to our table.

The boys had spent a lot of time trading with various merchants, and they had tried to find someone who sold snake rings.


I decided to give them one each and asked the two merchants if they had snake rings.


They showed us some, which looked like black-spotted old brass rings, but they had a beautiful form and so the boys wanted them anyway.


Spontaneously, I bought and paid for three rings without negotiating the price.


One I bought for myself, and wondered why I had bought it.


The Irishman bought a beautiful silver ring, asked me to receive it and put it on my finger.


With this, I felt that our relationship was sealed with a ring of love like it is commonly done in the West.


We went down the path, and the boys were talking between themselves some distance behind us.


Suddenly, my son came up with an exclamation and he came running to us.


They had started shining their rings, and my son showed us that they shone clearer than gold and deeper than silver.


When we parted from the Irishman, we began to shine the rings all over, also the snake’s eye pits that were no larger than pinheads, and then we went out into the sun to let it shine on them.


The rings shone with a mysterious brilliance and a pencil of rays stood out from each eye.


"Yesterday I helped an old man, and today we come into possession of a magical ring which was made from seventeen metals," I said, "that makes me think of the fairy tales from my childhood, where an old man comes out of the forest in need of help. If someone helps, the person receives a magical present."


It turned out that only I got the full benefit from this gift of power.


Neither my son nor my sister’s son had acquired that type of attention which is required to spot that side of Reality which contains gifts of power.

 

 Contents part 1

 

THE HEALING POWERS OF THE MAGICAL RING

 

Late in the afternoon, I went up to Suraj to drink tea, and there I met the cook’s wife who carried her sick baby on her arm.


The family had been to the doctor and to the hospital but nothing helped.


I caressed the baby, who took a firm grip of my hand and turned it while his lips sought down it.


He found the snake ring and began sucking it.


Gradually, he straightened up, and his feverish eyes appeared to me to be more normal when he let go of the ring.


"He seems to be better now!?" I asked.


The mother nodded and looked warmly at me.


When I left from there, I looked for the boys to tell them what I had experienced and that apparently it wasn’t just a mind game that we had come into possession of a magical ring.


In the course of the next couple of days, the baby got completely well, and the mother’s face became soft when she looked at me.

 

 

THE OLD WOMAN OF THE FAIRY TALES

 

The next day, I went for a walk and noticed that I felt differently than I used to.


I walked down the path and felt a special communion with the people, the water buffaloes, the birds, the spiders in their webs, the flowers, the plants and the trees.


When I walked back towards Suraj, I spotted the old woman whom I had met one of the first days of my visit.


She had asked me for a cigarette and a rupee, and it had become a ritual between us that she got a cigarette and a rupee from me every day.


She leaned towards a post and held on to her stomach with a face distorted from pain.


I ran the last stretch up to her.

 

Tears welled up in my eyes when I asked: "Whatever happened to you?"


"Oh... huh… have pain," she groaned in broken English.


"I don’t know if the ring works or not, but it doesn’t do any harm to try," I thought.


"Is it here it hurts?" I asked, while at the same time, I put the ring against her solar plexus center.


At that moment, a prayer went through my head on its own accord: "Oh Babuji, help this being in agony."


Babuji was the pet name of the Master.


As the prayer passed through my head, it felt as if my head opened up above my eyebrows and the whole way around and so the top of my  head opened, and a pillar of light gushed up.


At the same time, wave after wave of bliss rushed through me.


The old woman’s face became calm.


She seized my hand, lifted it to her third eye and pressed the snake ring against it, stood like that for a moment with eyes closed, let go of my hand, looked calmly at me and said: "You doctor," greeted me with the God-greeting and left.


I looked around.


My eyesight had expanded.


It appeared to me as if I had lost focus, and that made it possible for me to see a wide-angle picture of the surroundings, while at the same time, I saw every person, every water buffalo, every tree, every house and every movement in the landscape.


I saw the totality and the individuality at the same time.


My hearing had changed in the same way as my eyesight.


I heard the total sound-image and every sound by itself.


I heard the music of Reality from the unfolding of life around me.


It was like a symphony, an undulating movement of sound that no piece of music could match.

 

I was full of wonder about this elevated state that came into being when an intense desire arose in me to help the old woman.


Yet another time, I had to think of the fairy tales saying that the person who helps an old man or an old woman in need receives a magical present.

 

 

THE INFORMATIVE POWERS OF THE MAGICAL RING

 

The Irishman and I had once visited a Danish journalist couple who lived in a hut near the lake, but now they had taken up a room at Suraj because some of their Danish friends had come back from Katmandu and chose to live there, so all of a sudden we were surrounded by a whole group of Danes.


One evening, a girl from the Danish group was missing and I asked where she was.


She was ill, and they feared the worst because she had a fierce attack of diarrhea.


I went up the hen coop ladder to her room.


"Where does it hurt," I asked.


She lifted the cover and pointed to her belly.


"Is it here?" I said, intuitively putting the snake ring to her belly at the same time.


She nodded.


Names of various food items and a glass of freshly squeezed grapefruit juice went through my mind when the ring got in contact with her stomach.


"Have you had something to eat?" I asked.


She shook her head: "I can’t eat anything."

"You ought to eat something. Maybe you could eat these things?”

I listed that, which had gone through my head.

She nodded: "Yes I can eat that."

"Good, then I’ll go down to the kitchen to order it," I said.

The next day, I met her in the restaurant and was told that she became well again after she ate.

 

 Contents part 1

 

SELF-CENTEREDNESS

 

The word got around that something special was going on with me, and one day, a Nepalese woman with her baby on her arm came to me together with the old man.


The children, with whom I used to play five-stones games, usually crowded around me when I showed up, and now they translated in broken English what the old man said.


They explained that the woman swung her baby around in a fit of temper and the baby had become so scared that she cried now when anybody approached her, and therefore the mother had given her a bonnet with a big flounce to wear so she couldn’t see when anybody approached her.


The mother herself was unable to speak.


We sat down on the ground and the children and a group of local people gathered around us.


Intuitively, I turned my hand with the snake ring so it sparkled in the sun, and when one of the rays hit the baby’s eye, she stopped crying, and I stretched out my hand to touch her.


A whisper went through the crowd, and I became aware that I was doing something extraordinary and was momentarily shaken by self-centeredness as if it was me who personally caused this healing.

 

Thereby, I was seized by fear of doing something ridiculous, sitting here and playing healer by the help of a ring which was probably quite an ordinary ring when all came down to it.


I shook off my self-centeredness.


The baby seized my hand, lifted it to her mouth and began sucking the ring, and when she let go of my hand, we sat quietly for a little while.


Then, I put one hand around the neck of the mother and my other hand with the snake ring intuitively at one point on her throat.


I looked at her in confusion, but followed the impulse, which sprang from the ring touching her throat, and said that there was nothing the matter with her.

She should just speak.


She didn’t say anything.

 

I thought that she did not understand what I said and got one of the children to translate it to her.


The child explained it to her and then said to me that it wasn’t because she did not want to speak.


She was not able to.


For the second time, I got self-centered and began wondering what I was actually doing, sitting here telling a sick woman that she should speak without knowing if she came to harm if she tried.


This time, I did not manage to shake off my self-centeredness and fled to my hotel to recover.


I dropped off to sleep, and after a couple of hours I woke up and went up the path to Suraj.


The old woman waited for me together with the mother who carried her baby on her arm.


The mother greeted me respectfully and said something in Nepalese.


The old woman said: "She thanks you."


Tears of gratitude welled up in my eyes because she spoke now, and because I had not harmed her.


I looked at the baby who sat on her mother’s arm without the bonnet and understood that the mother thanked me for the baby’s healing.


The old woman and I lit a cigarette and smoked in silence.


When I was about to leave, she put her hands on my shoulders and looked affectionately at me.


"You, my daughter," she said.

 

 

ATTACHMENT

 

One afternoon, a Nepalese woman came to me and pointed to the snake ring and then to herself.


The children were as usual flocking around me and they explained that she wanted my ring.

 

I said that I couldn’t give it away because it belonged to me for special reasons.


Afterwards, I became sad because I felt that my action was contrary to the power of the ring.


Why had I not given her the ring?


I went down to sleep for a couple of hours and when I woke up, it felt as if the snake ring was not on my finger.


Feverishly I lifted my hand and saw that it was still there, but now I understood that I was more attached to the ring than was good for me.


We were moving on toward Madras, and when we were on the train, I lit a cigarette and dropped the ashes out of the window.


That very moment, it felt as if the snake
ring slid off my finger.


With a jerk I pulled my hand back and looked at it, frightened.


The ring was still there.


It was the second time I experienced a feeling of the ring disappearing and wondered what was going on.


It suddenly appeared to me that I had to give the ring to the first person who asked for it.


I shook my head, but since then, frequently, I caught myself skip shining the ring every day, which I had to if it should not lose its brilliance.

 

 Contents part 1

 

THE ARRIVAL AT THE HOTEL OF BLISS

 

As soon as we reached Madras, we went over to see the Crown Prince to tell him that we had arrived.


He gave us a sitting, and afterwards, he said that I had taken in an unusual amount of impressions, and so cleaning was needed.


After the sitting, we found a hotel in the same area of the city.


The hotel was called Anand Hotel, and that means The Hotel of Bliss.


My sister, her boyfriend and her son shared one room, and my son and I another.

 

The hotel had a big open terrace in front of my sister’s room, and mostly we had our breakfast together there.


The day after our arrival, I told the Crown Prince that I was disappointed to hear that I needed cleaning, because I had had the impression that I had achieved a spiritual elevation in Nepal.


He said that it was correct, but at the same time, I had taken in many impressions which had to be cleaned out.

 

 

THE PALM LEAF ARCHIVES

 

One day, I managed to get access to the Palm Leaf Archives, which were found in this city.


I heard about these archives at the Master’s farm.


They were said to be spread out all over India, and they were supposed to contain information both about past, present and future lives for everybody who has ever incarnated in Madras.


The Master believed in them, and therefore I was curious about them and wanted to visit them, but I did not know where they were to be found.


The father of the Crown Prince mentioned them one day, and it turned out that he had the address for that part of the archive which was found in Madras, so we went over there.


I looked forward to seeing if my palm leaf was there after giving my date of birth and seeing the archivist disappearing to the backroom of the place.


After some time, he came back with a small bundle that looked like broad ice-cream sticks, but which were compressed palm leaves covered with writing in Old Tamil.


He said that now he would find out if I was the right person who fitted these palm leaves’ description.


He looked ahead of himself, began chanting and then asked: "Did your first Guru come from your own country?"


I had not thought of my sister’s husband as my Guru, but actually it was he who had revived my spiritual life and inspired me to embark on the path I was on now.


He went on chanting and asked: "Is your father’s and mother’s name the same?"

 

That I had not thought of earlier either, because I was used to just calling my parents mother and father.


When then he asked if their names were a religious designation, I surrendered to believing that indeed these archives contained information about me.


He asked me about other things from my life too, but that did not impress me so much, because this information was from those areas of my life which did not take me by surprise.


In the end, he chanted: "Then let it be justified that this person is the person who is described on these leaves."


Before we began, he had asked me what I wanted to know, and I had said that I would like to know how my spiritual life and my love life would develop in the future.


He now translated those pages into English and said that in the beginning of my fifties my inborn melancholy would leave me.


From the middle of my fifties, I would get continuous visions of my Guru and God, and in this life itself I would achieve my spiritual goal.


My husband would come from another country south of my own, and his name would be the name of a king.


I would meet him very soon, maybe tomorrow, but at the latest within a year, and he would take well care of me.

 

 

FIRST MEETING WITH TUTU

 

A few days later, I played chess with my sister one evening and it was late before I got up to go to my own room.


When I came out into the hall, my son was talking with a young man and it turned out that he also came from Denmark.


I joined them, and it turned out that the Dane just arrived from Nepal too.


We talked about our experiences, and the conversation slid into spiritual topics.


The Dane spoke in enthusiastic terms about a man who lived in Madras.


They met each other in Katmandu and traveled together to Madras.

 

Every time we came across a spiritual issue that he had difficulties taking a stand on, he said that the Indian would not only be able to give a better answer than he could but also a better answer than I, because he felt that the answers I had found were lacking.


I got irritated because I felt he covered himself behind this Indian all of the time, but my curiosity was aroused, and the following morning when we had our brunch on the terrace, the Dane came together with the Indian to pay us a visit.


He was a handsome young man with glittering eyes that had an expression of cheerfulness and a depth, which I, until then, only had seen in the Master.


The Dane flung out his hand and introduced him with the words: "The king of the Universe."


I threw a fast glance at him to see if he was joking, but he looked at the Indian with an expression of seriousness and adoration, and I concluded that the Indian was his Guru.


The Indian introduced himself as Harishchandra, and later it turned out that his holy name was TuTu.


A person's holy name is a designation of his/her spiritual condition, and I have chosen to use this name for him where it is possible without disturbing the context.


He wrote it himself in two ways, either as 22 or as TuTu, which was his personal preference of the English ‘Two-Two’.

 

They sat down at our table, and soon we were all spellbound by TuTu, who told us about his stay in the mountains, where a holy man gave him a pilgrim’s staff which had an expanding effect on his consciousness.


At some point in time however, the staff had served its purpose in his life, and it glided away from him down a river he was bathing in.


He thought that this type of power objects had to go on to others when they had served their purpose, and was glad that now it went on to somebody else who needed it.


I looked at the snake ring on my finger and was relieved to think that if I had to pass it on, it would be because it had served its purpose in my life.


He talked about spirals and reversed spirals, about time and its dissolution into its opposite, but I did not understand what he was talking about.


Anyway, I was spellbound listening to him, and when he came to a point he found particularly funny, he laughed out loud in a charming childlike way.

 

He told us that he left his home with a few rupees in his pocket to go up into the Himalayan Mountains.


Sometimes, he lacked the daily necessities, and sometimes, he got help from unexpected sources.


He was convinced that this happened when he moved through Reality in the right way.

 

 Contents part 1

 

TUTU’S EGO DEATH

 

On a foggy night on his way to Katmandu, he had lost his ego.


He was walking alone on the road and for no reason he was seized by fear, and in his agony, he walked and walked.


At some point in time, it became clear to him that it was not he who felt this fear but his
ego.


He had some visions, and when they stopped, he became completely calm and understood that he had passed through the ego death.


As soon as this experience was over, he spotted a house but was not sure whether to enter it or not as the people inside might get scared if he knocked on their door in the middle of the night to ask for shelter.


At that moment, he spotted a Tulsi plant outside the house.


His mother’s name was Tulsi, and when he saw the plant, he knew that he could knock the door.


He did and was well received.

 

I looked suspiciously at him, because when he claimed that he had passed through the ego death, in actual fact, he had to be a Self-realized spiritual Master, and then, in my eyes, he ought to be way more ascetic than he was.


On the other hand, I had been drowning in The White Light while he spoke, just like it sometimes happened when the Master transmitted to me.


At first, I thought that it was the Master, who, for some reason or another, had chosen to transmit to me from Shahjahanpur just now, but then it occurred to me that maybe the transmission came from TuTu.


I decided to try to find out, and when he and the Dane got up to leave, I said: "Thank you for the transmission," and looked excited at him to see if he would look surprised or ask "What transmission?" but he flung his head back and laughed out loud: "You're welcome."


Showers of The White Light poured down on me, uplifting and intoxicating me.


I was completely taken in by his free laughter, his soft voice and his glittering and brilliant eyes, but I was shaken to my core.


I had believed that only the Master and his preceptors were able to give transmissions of the White Light, but now I had met one more person who was able to.

 

 

TRAVELING PLANS

 

Halfway, I had expected the Irishman to turn up in Madras.


Before we separated in Pokhara, he had told me that he came to Pokhara with a friend in an old green van, and suddenly the friend had turned up and insisted on leaving immediately.


The Irishman and I said goodbye.


He and his friend planned on going to Goa, but later he wrote to me that he had lost all his papers and his money and had to go home at the expense of the consulate as soon as he had left Nepal.


However, I did not know that at this point of time, and I had decided to go to Goa to meet him.


I imagined that there was a short stretch in Goa where Westerners met each other just like in Pokhara, because I often heard the sentence: "We meet in Goa," among Westerners, and I could not imagine that one would have a casual arrangement like that without having a
limited area to meet up.


I had bought an air ticket to Goa and had planned on staying there for one week.


I had to start two days later, but after TuTu and the Dane left, I went into my room and thought about the issue.


For some reason or other I had lost my desire to travel.

 

 

SECOND MEETING WITH TUTU

 

The next evening, the Dane and TuTu came to visit us again while we had our dinner on the terrace, and we invited them to join us.


After dinner, the conversation soon entered spiritual issues and TuTu told us that his spiritual elevation had begun already before he went further up the mountains.


On his way, he had passed through Manipur and had made a stop there.


One day, he meditated and saw a White Light before his inner eye.


The experience was very powerful, and afterwards he had a splitting headache.


I remembered my first transmission from the preceptor, where I saw The White Light too, and I also had a splitting headache when I left from there.


He continued by sharing about small and big events during his journey but soon his words passed by my ear as a soft rising and falling, while shower after shower of White Light poured down on me and drowned me in bliss.


It was late before they got up to leave.


"We’ll be back one of these days," TuTu said.


"I am not here the next few days. I go to Goa tomorrow," I said.


"When will you be back?"


"Tuesday."


"Ok, we’ll meet Tuesday evening then," he said.

 

 Contents part 1

 

CONVERSATION IN THE BATH

 

The next morning, I went out into the common bathroom for women and my sister joined me.


While showering, she said: "You… eh… that Indian guy… let him be. He is too young and inexperienced, and an experienced woman like you can twist him around your little finger much too easily. I feel sorry for him if you only play with his feelings, because I take it that you’re not interested in involving yourself?"


TuTu was twenty-one, and I was thirty-three.

 

"I don’t know. You never know."


I stared thoughtfully ahead of myself.


Apparently, she had observed something about him and me, which I myself wasn’t aware of yet.


"What about the Irishman?" she asked surprised.


"I don’t know. It’s difficult to say."


By now I completely regretted my decision about going to Goa, but I thought I had to see what happened, if for nothing else, to give back the Irishman his love ring so that he could give it to somebody else.

 

 

PASSING ON OF THE MAGICAL RING

 

When I arrived in Goa, I took the bus to Goa City, got off and went down the street.


I did not know which direction to take but spotted a group of Westerners in colorful clothes in a small square.


I told them my problem and said that I was looking for two Irishmen in a green van.


One of them said that a Goan would come in a moment, and he knew where all foreign cars were to be found in Goa.


A moment later, the man turned up, and he suggested that we went to a nearby café and talked it over.


I told him my problem, and he said that it was too late in the day to go looking for the green van which he knew very well as to where it was.


He told me that it was Christmas time, and therefore it wasn’t possible to get a hotel room, but he had some friends who had a hotel on the outskirts of town, so he would take me there for the night and quarter me in their private domain, and then we could go the following day.


There was something smooth and businesslike about him, which made me feel unsafe, but I didn’t feel I had any choice other than surrendering to the mercy of fate, and I agreed.


"What kind of ring is it you have there?" he asked pointing to the snake ring.

 

"Oh, it is one I bought in Nepal," I said as casual as possible.


"Was it expensive?"


"No, it only cost a few rupees."


"If you had two, I would ask you to give me one of them," he said.


My heart sank.


The impossible had happened.


Slowly, I took off the ring and pushed it across the table.


"You can have it," I said in a low tone of voice.


It glittered and sparkled on his little finger.


He got up and said that he had to pick up a scooter so he could take me to the hotel.


He disappeared, and I went out and sat down on the square to wait for him.


The ring had left me at the worst possible moment.


I was alone in a foreign town and I did not believe that the Goan would return.


When I carried the ring, I felt protected.

 

I felt more and more defenseless as time passed, and when half an hour had passed, I began crying.


After crying for a while, I found it absurd that I was sitting here crying about the loss of the ring.


I turned my thoughts towards the Master, and slowly I came at ease and slid into meditation.


The meditation ran out, and the Goan came back on a scooter and took me to his friends.

 

 

AGAINST ALL ODDS

 

The following day, the Goan did not come back, and I took a bus that went along the many beaches in Goa, to see if I could find the Irishman.

 

I found the green van, which the Goan talked about, but it belonged to a young European couple.


I made friends with the bus driver, and in the end, when I gave up finding the Irishman, he said that I could live in his home, where his mother and his sister would care well for me until I had to go back to Madras.


I said that I wanted to go back immediately and asked him to show me where I could change my air ticket.


He shook his head and said that it wasn’t possible to get a plane out of Goa so fast because of Christmas, but he brought me to the ticket office anyway.


It wasn’t open yet, but there was already a long queue outside it.


Against all odds, I joined the queue.


The ticket office opened and people pushed their way in.


After another half an hour I reached the office.


Every time a person reached the counter, the clerk said: "No, there are no seats available today. Next."


When I reached, the clerk looked at me, annoyed: "Yes?"


"I would like to go back to Madras now."


"There are no seats today…" he stopped, looked at me again and then said: "Well… let me see."


He disappeared for a moment and came back: "Yes, there is just one seat left. Let me see your ticket.”


A moment later, he came back with it stamped ‘ok’.

 

 Contents part 1

 

THE LOVE RING

 

It was midnight before I reached Anand hotel.


I was looking forward to meeting the Dane the next morning but he had moved out of the hotel.

 

I was disappointed because I did not know how to meet TuTu again if he did not come to visit the Dane.


It felt like a waste of precious time to wait till Tuesday to see him.


I was surprised that my emotions were so intense and over some unusual thoughts that emerged.


I thought that until now I had been incarcerated in the cage of time, and presently the time-cage had finally lifted and allowed him whom I had been waiting for to step into my time-space sphere.


When I saw his delicately built, slim, almost feminine figure again, I wondered why I had yearned so intensely for this moment.


He came Tuesday evening, and we all went out and sat down in the moonlight on the terrace where he entertained us, and around midnight my family withdrew.


"Did you have your purposes with your trip served?" he asked.


I told him that I did not meet the Irishman, and as I wanted to show him that my relationship with the Irishman was over, I took off the love ring and gave it to him.


"This is a special ring," I said, "It is a love ring. The Irishman gave it to me, but I don’t want to be tied to him anymore. You can have
it, so if you want to tie a woman to you in love, you can give it to her."


"I wear no jewelry" he said, "but I’ll take it home and have it with me."


One day, we were out driving around in the city on a motorbike, and he told me that now he had found the woman whom he wanted to tie to himself in love, and therefore he had decided to give her the ring.


My heart sank.


He took the ring out and gave it to me.


Happily I received it.

 

 

A TEST

 

One afternoon, he casually said to me: "What is wrongdoing?"


In spite of the casual tone in his gentle voice, everything in me went into red alert together with a feeling that my answer was decisive.


I mused and got the topic narrowed down to theft and murder, but was it always wrong to take something that did not belong to me?


It depended on whether the owner had thrown it away.


Was it always wrong to take another person’s life?


It depended on whether it happened as an accident in a situation, where I defended my own life.


I thought and I thought, but could not think of anything which was wrong through and through.


"I don’t know," I answered.


"Don’t you know what is right and wrong," he asked in his usual gentle voice but with an undertone that made me squirm.


"No," I said stiffly, "it depends on the circumstances."


He laughed aloud with delight and threw his arms around me, looking at me tenderly, and thereby I got the feeling that I had accomplished some kind of achievement and I found it fortunate that I had thought so deeply before I answered.

 

 

TUTU’S TASK

 

One day, TuTu told me that he had seen me in the afternoon sitting on the stone-step in front of the hotel the day before we met.


I looked melancholically ahead of myself.


He had pointed to me and said to the Dane: "Look at that woman sitting there. She is sad, and I have to help her with something or the other."


I got irritated.

 

What a conceited guy.


Was he together with me because he thought that I was a poor wretch he had to help with something or the other?


On the other hand it might be true?


I could not deny that slowly I had begun to take up the Dane’s viewpoint that TuTu was some kind of spiritual teacher.


He was very young, but it wasn’t the first time that a very young person exposed spiritual qualities beyond the usual.

 

 

1001 NIGHT’S ADVENTURES

 

My being together with him made me feel like a princess from 1001 Night’s Adventures who had slept alone enclosed in a room while she dreamt about her beloved, who in the end came flying through time and space on a winged unicorn to wake her up by his magical arrival.

 

I was so impressed by the feelings that arose in me in his company that I said to my sister one day: "This is too good to be true. The abundance which comes to my lot is so much that I fear the envy of even the Gods".

 

In the same way, on other occasions, words streamed out of my mouth which took me by surprise.


One day, when TuTu and I were on our way to the beach in a rickshaw, I turned towards
him and exclaimed: "If people can’t see that you are a king, even if you don’t wear a king’s garment, they are completely blind."


And then I added: "Your Majesty, my king."


"My Goddess," he said.


I wanted to answer by addressing him with the words: "My God," but my childhood’s image of God surfaced and prevented the words from coming across my lips, so it was only much later that I came to understand how much truth was hidden in those words.

 

Another day, I exclaimed: "I have been looking for you in all the Worlds, and just think that we were to meet here on this little piece of dust in the Universe called the Earth in the year of the Lord 1977. Who would have believed that?"

 

These statements mystified me and made me think that there was some part of my consciousness knowing something, which the rest of me did not know, but it turned out that everything came to light.

 

 Contents part 1

 

THE END OF THE PILGRIMAGE

 

Our time in Madras was about to run out, and each day my pain grew at the prospect of separating from TuTu.


Before our return to Denmark, we had to spend a week together with the Master to participate in the annual celebrations of the late Guru of the Master.


When we arrived at the ashram, I decided to go back to Madras, so the day after our arrival I went to the Master to tell him.


He looked surprised at me: "Don't you want to participate in this… eh… celebration?"


I felt ashamed and looked down: "No, I’m leaving tomorrow."


He nodded and did not say anymore, and the day after, both the boys and I were on our way back to Madras.


My sister and her boyfriend wanted to stay, and we were to meet in New Delhi just ahead of our departure for Denmark.


The few days we spent in Madras came to an end much too fast, but when I left, TuTu and I had agreed that he would come to Copenhagen as soon as he had got his passport in order.


My pilgrimage was over.

 

THE 22 DOCTRINE 2

THE SIXTH DIMENSION

 

 

 

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

THE BRIDGE

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

THE MASCULINE:

THE MENTAL

 

Contents part 2
 

CHAPTER 1

THE PRINCIPLES

THE SECOND COMING OF JESUS CHRIST

THE KING OF TRUTH

GOD’S WISH

THE FATHER AND THE SON

THE HOLY SPIRIT

HIERARCHY AND FELLOWSHIP

TO SEPARATE THE SHEEP FROM THE GOATS

THE JUDGMENT

GOD THE FATHER AND GODDESS THE MOTHER

SELF-REALIZATION AND GOD-REALIZATION
OUR MULTIDIMENSIONAL BEING
LEVELS OF EXISTENCE
THE PATH TO THE INDIVIDUAL AND PERSONAL SELF-REALIZATION

THE PATH TO THE ABSOLUTE SELF-REALIZATION

THE FOUR WEDDINGS

THE MUTUAL BODY OF THE MAN AND THE WOMAN

TO BECOME LIKE CHILDREN ANEW

THAT HUMAN BEING WHO LIVES ALONE

THE CAMEL AND THE NEEDLE’S EYE

THE ONE WHO EXALTS HIMSELF/HERSELF SHALL BE HUMBLED

SOCIETY’S PERCEPTION OF THE MASCULINE AND THE FEMININE PRINCIPLE

THE CHRIST CONSCIOUSNESS

THE PRINCIPLES IN CHRIST AND THE PRINCIPLES IN TUTU

THE OUTRAGE OVER CHRIST

THE PROGRAM OF CHRISTS ANONYMOUS

THE THIRTEENTH STEP

THE COMPLETE BRIDGE TO THE NEW WORLD ORDER

THE FOUNDATION OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER

TOTOS SOLFOND

THE MESSENGER AND THE MESSAGE

VIRGINITY

THE NUMBER 13 AND THE NUMBERS 6-6-6

THE ONE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN THROWS THE FIRST STONE

LUCIFER

THE ONE WHO GIVES HIS/HER LIFE SHALL PRESERVE IT, AND THE ONE WHO TRIES TO PRESERVE IT SHALL LOSE IT
THE FALLEN ANGEL
NOT A STONE WAS TO BE FOUND ON WHICH HE COULD LEAN HIS HEAD

THE SAVIOR

THE RING OF THE SAVIOR COMPLEX

THE RING OF EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY

HE CAME AS A THIEF IN THE NIGHT

THE NEW HOLY LAND AND THE NEW JERUSALEM

ARCHETYPES

THE UNITY OF HUMANKIND
GOD

SPHERES OF CONSCIOUSNESS

THE RINGS OF SOCIAL INTERACTIONS

THE RING OF EMPTINESS AND THE RING OF FULFILLMENT

STATES OF CONSCIOUSNESS

TUTU’S SUGGESTIONS FOR CONTEMPLATION

THE SPIRIT PRAYER

THE GOD PRAYER

THE GRATITUDE PRAYER

THE TWO WAY PRAYER

SLEEPING AND WAKE CONSCIOUSNESS

THE HOLY GRAIL

THE MANWOMAN

ONE GRAPHIC EXPRESSION OF THE MANWOMAN

THE INDIVIDUAL AND PERSONAL GOD: THE MANWOMAN GRAPH

THE UNIVERSAL AND IMPERSONAL GOD THE ARCHETYPE OF THE MANWOMAN GRAPH

THE ABSOLUTE HEART

THE HOLY GRAIL

CREATIONMANIFESTATION

THE COSMIC TWINS

GOD THE FATHER AND GODDESS THE MOTHER:  THE COSMIC QUADRUPLETS GRAPH

THE ARCHETYPE OF THE COSMIC QUADRUPLETS GRAPH

GOD THE FATHER AND GODDESS THE MOTHER: THE COSMIC TWINS GRAPH

THE ARCHETYPE OF THE COSMIC TWINS GRAPH

THE BUDDHA AND THE TARA

THE BUDDHA AND THE TARA GRAPH

THE ARCHETYPE OF THE BUDDHA AND THE TARA GRAPH

THE LIFE NERVE

THE GRAPH OF THE LIFE NERVE

THE ARCHETYPE OF THE LIFE NERVE GRAPH

PASHUPATINATH-SHIVA AND KALI-SHAKTI

PASHUPATINATH-SHIVA AND KALI-SHAKTI GRAPH
HE SON OF MAN AND THE DAUGHTER OF MAN

THE SON AND DAUGHTER OF HUMANKIND
THE TWELVE STEPS OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER
GAYATHRI MANTRA
INVOLUTION AND EVOLUTION
HINDUISTIC ARCHETYPES
EVOLUTION
SPIRITUAL PRACTICE
GOD’S PRESENCE

RETURN TO THE ORIGIN

NUCLEAR FISSIONS AND NUCLEAR FUSIONS

THE MOVEMENTS OF LIFE

THE MAGICAL RINGS

THE RING OF MATTER/THE RING OF THE FORCE OF LIFE

THE RING OF SPIRIT/THE RING OF THE POWER OF LOVE

THE REALMS OF CONSCIOUSNESS IN THE THIRD DIMENSION

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

THE HUMAN RIGHTS

THE FALL OF MATERIALISM

THE DEVIL AND ALL HIS BEING AND ALL HIS DOINGS

THE SPHINX

JUSTICE

DISCERNMENT

CONDEMNATION

THE TREE OF HATRED AND THE TREE OF LOVE

GUILT AND INNOCENCE

THE REDEMPTION

THE POWERS OF THE DESTRUCTIVE RINGS

THE POWERS OF THE CONSTRUCTIVE RINGS

THE TRANSFORMATION

THE DESTRUCTIVE RINGS

THE RINGS OF PAIN

THE GLOBAL RING OF PAIN

THE RING OF PAIN OF THE NORTH

THE RING OF PAIN OF THE SOUTH

THE RING OF PAIN OF THE EAST

THE RING OF PAIN OF THE WEST

THE CONSTRUCTIVE RINGS

THE RINGS OF JOY

THE GLOBAL RING OF JOY

THE RING OF JOY OF THE NORTH

THE RING OF JOY OF THE SOUTH

THE RING OF JOY OF THE EAST

THE RING OF JOY OF THE WEST
THE PRAYERS OF THE RINGS
THE PRAYER OF PAIN
THE PRAYER OF JOY
THE SMILE MEDITATION
EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE - EFT

THE SPOKEN AND THE WRITTEN WORD

THE ETERNAL TRUTHS

DISPUTE ABOUT WORDS

HELL

LIBERATION 1

PAIN CONTRA SUFFERING
THE ETERNAL LIFE
EX CALIBUR
THE PHYSICAL DEATH

THE JUDGEMENT
THE RESURRECTION

THE ASPIRANT

DESIRES

THE LAW OF MERCY

PERSONAL CAPACITY

BACK TO LIFE ON EARTH

LIBERATION 2

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

THE FIRST STATEMENT

IDOLATRY

THE SECOND STATEMENT

THE THIRD STATEMENT

THE FOURTH STATEMENT

THE FIFTH STATEMENT

THE SIXTH STATEMENT

HONOR WHERE HONOR IS DUE

THE SEVENTH STATEMENT

THE EIGHTH STATEMENT

THE NINTH STATEMENT

THE TENTH STATEMENT

THE ELEVENTH STATEMENT

THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF TUTU
HARISHCHANDRA TUTU PHOTO
TUTU'S HANDS

GREETINGS TO ALL
 

CHAPTER 2

THE PERSONAL

ANGER AND REVENGEFULNESS

ARROGANCE 2

THE FEMALE ARCHETYPE OF THE SPIRITUAL WEDDING

INTERPRETATION OF THE ARCHETYPE

THE MALE ARCHETYPE OF THE SPIRITUAL WEDDING

REDEMPTION

IMPATIENCE

DEMONS

SUDARSHAN CHAKRA

THE HIERARCHY OF THE ARCHETYPAL RINGS

THE RING OF SELFCENTEREDNESS AND OF GODCENTEREDNESS

THE RING OF CODEPENDENCY AND OF EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY

THE BIG AND THE SMALL RINGS OF PAIN

THE BIG AND THE SMALL RINGS OF JOY

THE BIG, SMALL, MINI, MICRO AND NANORINGS OF PAIN
THE BIG, SMALL, MINI, MICRO AND NANORINGS OF JOY
TABLE OF THE BIG, SMALL, MINI, MICRO AND NANORINGS OF PAIN
TABLE OF THE BIG, SMALL, MINI, MICRO AND NANORINGS OF PAIN
EGO DEATH

DREAM INTERPRETATION

TUTU, THE MASTER OF THE MASTER

A LIST OF LITERATURE THAT MADE AN IMPACT ON MY PERSONAL UNDERSTANDING OF EXISTENCE

 

Contents part 1  Contents part 2  Contents part 3  Contents part 4  Contents part 5
 

THE PRINCIPLES

 

 

THE SECOND COMING OF JESUS CHRIST

 

During my first visit at the Master’s, when I saw an image of Jesus on the cross come and go in my mind’s eye, I wondered what the Master had to do with Jesus, but I brushed it aside by thinking that he cleansed an impression from my own culture out of my mind even though I didn’t remember when it was createdmanifested.


One day, I heard from one of the Master’s disciples that the Master had taken on the responsibility for the disciples of Jesus for a period, but secretly that made me think that he had to suffer from self-aggrandizement, although I could not make it fit with my other impressions of him.


Gradually, as my interaction with TuTu developed, I came to believe that the cleansed impression did not stem from my own culture but was almost two thousand years old and it sprang from the pain I felt as the thirteenth disciple Mary Magdalene, when I witnessed the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

 

I also came to believe that it was necessary that the Master took on the responsibility for the disciples of Jesus for a period, because Jesus himself took on a life on Earth which demanded all of his attention, and that TuTu was the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.



THE KING OF TRUTH

 

It is said about Jesus that when he comes back he will bear the name The King of Truth.


TuTu was born on the 1st of September 1956 in Madras, India.


He bore the name Harishchandra, which is the name of The King of Truth in Indian mythology.

 

 

GOD’S WISH

 

For daily use, he was called by the first two syllables of his name, Harish.


Har means Wish and
Ish means God.


Put together it means God’s Wish.


TuTu called himself the reluctant Messiah, because it was not the achievement of a personal desire which necessitated that he accepted to live through those sufferings that came to his lot but a life he took on according to God’s wish to carry out a specific task, like it was the case for Jesus too.

 

 

THE FATHER AND THE SON

 

Jesus said that God the Father is found in Heaven and God the Son on Earth, and that the father and the son are one.

TuTu called Heaven for the Soul Realm or the seventh dimension, and Earth for the third.

He explained that God the Father is to be found in the seventh dimension – the Soulplane, and God the Son is to be found in the third dimension – the physical plane, but that they are one and the same individual consciousness that comes to expression in two different dimensions – a man and his Soul, and they are thus one and the same consciousness in two different forms of expression

 

THE HOLY SPIRIT

 

The last part of TuTu’s personal name was Chandra, which means Moon.


In mythology, the moon represents the feminine principle - the emotional, and the sun represents the masculine principle - the thoughts, and his full personal name can thus be translated to – God’s wish: The feminine principle.

TuTu also explained that in every human being, whether man or woman, the emotions reflect the light of the thoughts, like the moon reflects the light of the sun.


Jesus taught about the masculine principle God the Father and God the Son and came back as Harishchandra to complete this work by teaching about the feminine principle Goddess the Mother and Goddess the Daughter.


TuTu explained that Jesus veiled the feminine principle under the name The Holy Spirit, because humankind at that time needed to step out of the flock mentality by the help of the masculine principle.


The Holy Spirit is thus the united energy from a woman and her soul, even though they express themselves in two different dimensions, and their united energy is greater than the sum of the energy from both of them, and this feminine principle God now wishes to lift the veil from and thereby place the masculine and the feminine in their right places, side by side, on an equal footing.

 

 

HIERARCHY AND FELLOWSHIP

 

Further, TuTu explained that on Earth, the masculine principle represents the mental plane, the individuality and the hierarchy, and the feminine principle represents the emotional plane, the unity and the Fellowship.

 

The mental plane is different for everybody irrespective of gender and life circumstances, and the emotional plane is the same for all irrespective of gender and life circumstances.

 

Humankind has now stepped out of the flock mentality by the help of the hierarchy, and in that way achieved the respect for the individual, and therefore time is ripe to achieve unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy for the individual by the help of the Fellowship.
 

 Contents part 2

 

TO SEPARATE THE SHEEP FROM THE GOATS

 

In the Bible, the disciples have written that when Jesus comes back, he will sit at the right hand side of God the Father, separate the sheep from the goats and then pass judgment on them.


Those who are ready will follow him to the God Realm and those who are not will be thrown into the lake of fire.


TuTu said that the people will themselves choose if they want to stand either by his right hand side or by his left hand side, and thus they will themselves pass the judgment on themselves.


Those that are goats will choose to stand by his left hand side and those that are sheep will choose to stand by his right hand side.


The place by his left hand side belongs to God the Father, and the place by his right hand side belongs to his Spirit Mate, his other half, his Eternal Beloved.

 
Those who stand by his left hand side express in that way their desire for God the Father’s place and thus their desire for the power and the glory, but that is not due to them.


Those who stand by his right hand side express in that way their desire for his Eternal Beloved’s place and thus their desire for the unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy, and that is due to them.

 

 

THE JUDGEMENT

 

Those who wish to take God the Father’s place wish to take a place which no human being is able to fill in and any attempt to do so is therefore due to lack of discernment.


As written in the Bible, people who lack this discernment, fornicate with the great harlot, whom the disciples called Babylon.


TuTu called the great harlot prestige and said that these people think they can have their desire for the power and the glory fulfilled by the help of the great harlot.


They court the favor of the harlot by acquiring all the riches of the Earth, but the riches do not belong to them, and in that way they become robbers and assaulters, although they are dressed in gold and purple.


All the riches of the Earth are Mother Earth’s gift to all of her children, but in their insanity those who fornicate with the harlot, rape their own mother, the Earth, to acquire more and more.


As a result of these actions, they will be thrown into the lake of fire, which consists of the great pain in their innermost heart, because they cannot hear the desire of their heart.


In the lake of fire, they learn to discern their innermost heart’s desire from all other desires.


Only when they honestly admit their human limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality and act accordingly, they achieve the power of discernment that whispers in their ear that the only thing their innermost heart desires is to give and receive the unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy.


Those who desire his Eternal Beloved’s place show that they are ready to receive the unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy, and thereby they show, as written in the Bible, that they have the wedding garment on, and therefore they shall follow him to the God Realm.


They will do this as groom’s swains and bride’s maids to participate in his Spiritual Wedding with his other half, and this means that they acknowledge and pick up the message that the Spiritual Wedding exists, and pass it on.


When they themselves reach the point where, consciously, they are able to enter the seventh dimension, they know that soon they are going to stand in front of God's Holy Altar, to enter into their own Spiritual Wedding with their own Eternal Beloved, who will give them the unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy, and to whom they will give the same, and in their joy and anticipation they sing songs of praise about his Spiritual Wedding together with the Heavenly Choir as written in the Bible.

 

 

GOD THE FATHER AND GODDESS THE MOTHER

 

TuTu explained further that God the Father holds the power of creation and Goddess the Mother holds the power of manifestation.


The creationmanifestation took place as a result of the love between the power of creation and the power of manifestation.


In the third dimension, this comes to expression when the man’s seed that holds the power of creation and the woman’s egg that holds the power of manifestation merge, and in this way, new life and new movement is also brought into the World as a result of the love between the two.


The power of creation is the unmanifest, the invisible and the darkness, and the power of manifestation is the manifest, the visible and the light that streams out from the Soul Plane, the seventh dimension.

In the individual human being, the presence of God the Father can be observed as the Spirit of the Soul or the oneness and the presence of Goddess the Mother can be observed as Soul of the Spirit or the individuality.

 

 

SELF-REALIZATION AND GOD-REALIZATION

 

Self-realization means to make oneself real to oneself, and God-realization means to make God real to oneself.


At its highest vantage point, Self-realization and God-realization is one and the same, but the achievement of the highest vantage point consists in a process involving various stages, where a person gradually realizes his/her multidimensional existence.

 

A person who exclusively perceives his/her existence in the third dimension as real and therefore acts in accordance with this achieves his/her perception of Reality by attaching himself or herself to people, animals, plants and material things in the third dimension.


To such a person, God is either a hope that maybe there is more between heaven and earth or a fantasy that other people have for various reasons.

 

A person who perceives his/her existence in both the third and the fourth dimension as real and therefore acts in accordance with this achieves his/her perception of Reality by also attaching himself/herself to his/her and others’ need for time and space as well as his/her own and others’ movements through space over time, besides the attachments to the third dimension.

 
To such a person, God is either a hope to personally experience a miracle, something which is in opposition to the generally accepted facts in the third dimension, or despondency because of the lack of miracles in his/her own life, but TuTu said that such a person need not despair and added: "Don’t hope for a miracle. Count on it."

 

A person who perceives his/her existence in the third, the fourth and the fifth dimension as real and therefore acts in accordance with this achieves his/her perception of Reality by also attaching himself/herself to his/her own and others’ emotional life, besides the attachments to the third and fourth dimension.

 

To such a person, God is either a merciful but inexplicable power whose paths are incomprehensible, or a threatening force that can crush all hopes to punish the person in question for known or unknown trespasses.


A person who perceives his/her existence in the third, the fourth, the fifth and the sixth dimension as real and therefore acts in accordance with this achieves his/her perception of Reality by also attaching himself/herself to his/her own and others’ thought life, besides the attachments to the third, fourth and fifth dimension.

 

To such a person, God is a rational being who acts for reasons that might appear incomprehensible to the person but because the motives of God spring from a desire for the most advantageous for each and all, life as it transpires has to be accepted, because there are good reasons behind the happenings that the person will probably come to understand at some point in life.

 

A person who perceives his/her existence in the third, the fourth, the fifth, the sixth and the seventh dimension as real and therefore acts in accordance with this achieves his/her perception of Reality by also attaching himself/herself to love, care, compassion and mercy, besides the attachments to the third, fourth, fifth and sixth dimension.

 

To such a person, God is a loving, caring, compassionate and merciful Being who acts with a loving, caring, compassionate and merciful intention for all, and therefore such a person has to receive both life’s pains and joys as an expression of God’s gifts of love, and at the highest vantage point of this stage, the person in question achieves his/her individual and personal Self-realization, which consists in realizing: "I am God."

 

Through this realization, the person slowly realizes that not only he/she is God, but that everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence is God, and as a result of this realization, the person slowly achieves his/her universal and impersonal Self-realization, which consists in realizing: "Everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence is God.”

 

Therefore, such a person perceives his/her own impulses and his/her interactions with everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence as his/her continuous conversation with God.

 

A person who perceives his/her existence in the third, fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh dimensions as well as the Absolute, the eighth dimension as real and therefore acts in accordance with this achieves his/her perception of Reality by also attaching himself/herself to God, besides the attachments to the third, fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh dimension.

 

For such a person, God is the Eternal Beloved, the Only One, and when such a person connects himself/herself to another human being of the opposite gender who is the Only One for him/her, he/she slowly gets to know God’s unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy through his/her own unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy for his/her beloved and through his/her beloved’s unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy for himself/herself.

 

Some thought that their one and only was of the same gender as themselves, but TuTu said that to be able to move from the seventh dimension into the Absolute, all the assumed forms of identity had to be shed.

 

He explained that some of us chose our other half, our Eternal Beloved, from the same gender as we ourselves have, because a masculine soul could take on a female body and vice versa so as to fulfill specific purposes in life and therefore it might happen that we found our Eternal Beloved in a form with the same gender as ourselves.

 

When these purposes have been fulfilled and the life goal has become to enter the Absolute, such Souls take their rightful gender so as to be able to enter the Absolute.
 

Contents part 2

 

OUR MULTIDIMENSIONAL BEING

 

To illustrate our multidimensional existence a graph is found below that links our life experiences together with the dimensions.


LEVELS OF EXISTENCE


 

 


The green circle
in this graph is supposed to illustrate our physical life, and that is referred to as our third dimensional life.

The blue circle illustrates our life in space and time, and that is referred to as our fourth dimensional life

The red circle illustrates our emotional life, and that is referred to as our fifth dimensional Life

The yellow circle illustrates our thought life, and that is referred to as our sixth dimensional life.

The orange circle illustrates our thought-free mental life, and that is also referred to as our sixth dimensional life

The violet circle illustrates our social life, and that is referred to as our seventh dimensional life.

 

In the center of the graph, the black color illustrates the unmanifested power of creation, and the white color illustrates the unmanifested power of manifestation.

The gray color is supposed to illustrate the merger of the black and the white color, the merged power of creation and manifestation.

All the colors of the rainbow that surrounds these three energies illustrate the radiation from the merged power of creation and manifestation, represented by the gray color.

There are a total of nine colors in the rainbow, but the ultraviolet and the infra-red cannot be illustrated in a graph.

The ultraviolet change the hue of all the colors, and the infra-red is the heat that radiates from the entire structure.

 

 

THE PATH TO THE INDIVIDUAL AND PERSONAL SELF-REALIZATION

 

To achieve his/her individual and personal Self-realization, his/her own wholeness, a person has to achieve the realization of the existence of God the Father and Goddess the Mother.


To achieve this, a person has to surrender to the universal and impersonal presence of God the Father by surrendering to spiritual principles and to the universal and impersonal presence of Goddess the Mother by surrendering to earthly principles.


The spiritual principles are omnipresence, omniscience, omnipotence and immortality.


The earthly principles are limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality.


To surrender to the spiritual principles a person has to take help from his/her thinking, and to surrender to earthly principles he/she has to take help from his/her feelings.


The surrender takes place gradually as the person learns to see, hear, feel and sense both his/her Spirit and his/her body, and at the same time, acts confidently in accordance with what he/she sees, hears, feels or senses.

 

 

THE PATH TO THE ABSOLUTE SELF-REALIZATION

 

Once the Master was asked if it is good for the spiritual life to live in celibacy and he answered laughingly: "God is no fool. If it was enough with one gender, there wouldn’t be two."


TuTu explained that the most potent power of the human being is the sexual, and a person can go as far as the seventh dimension by the help of platonic love or by the help of sexual love for a person of the opposite or the same gender.

 

To get access to the Absolute, the sexual power also has to be active, but for this purpose, it has to be pure.


The sexual power is pure when the person has attained the capacity to honestly follow the swing of his/her own sexual feelings during lovemaking without denial of the intensity or lack of it in his/her sexual feelings.



They step in, hand in hand, after concluding their Spiritual Wedding with each other in their personal TuTu consciousness at the entrance to the God Realm.


They step in, hand in hand, after concluding their Spiritual Wedding with each other in their personal Ardhanarishvara/ManWoman and with their impersonal Ardhanarishvara/ManWoman at the entrance to the God Realm.

They enter the God Realm as one being like they were before the Big Bang where they got split into a 'he' and a 'she', and in that process they lost their oneness both with each other and with God
, and so they did not know anymore, who they were and what they were.


 

THE FOUR WEDDINGS

 

A human being’s surrender to his/her beloved’s Spirit and body takes place through the four weddings.

 

The first wedding is The Earthly Wedding, which consists in the sexual union of his and her corporeal bodies.


If love and compassion fades when the sexual attraction fades, this marriage can be broken.

 

If love and compassion does not fade, time is ripe for The Angelic Wedding, which is the union of his and her heart.


This marriage cannot be broken no matter how much hardship the couple is exposed to, because nobody can resist the power of love.

 

When hardships have cleansed their hearts so that love, care, compassion and mercy  stand pure, time is ripe for their Divine Wedding, which is the union of their Souls, and as a result of this wedding they realize that their beloved’s Soul and body is God the Father’s and Goddess the Mother’s individual and personal presence for them outside themselves, like their own Soul and body is God the Father's and Goddess the Mother's individual and personal presence for them inside themselves.

 

When love, care, compassion and mercy for the beloved’s Soul and body has become unconditional, time is ripe for their Spiritual Wedding, which is the union of their Spirits, and this wedding gives them access to The Holy Grail, The Ocean of Love, in the Absolute, and thus the high God The Father and Goddess the Mother, and the low God the Son – who is the outer to his beloved and the inner to himself – and Goddess the Daughter – who is the outer to her beloved and the inner to herself – unite in one being who holds both the high and the low, the inner and the outer, and this United consciousness is their individual and personal God.

 

As a result of their Spiritual Wedding, at the same time, they also get connected with everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence, and this is their universal and impersonal God.

 

In the Bible it is written that a time will come where God comes down on Earth to sleep by the side of humankind, and at this time, God will wipe every tear from humankind’s eyes.


TuTu said that this time occurs for a human being after
The Spiritual Wedding has taken place.

 

Contents part 2
 

THE MUTUAL BODY OF THE MAN AND THE WOMAN

 

The relationship between spouses consists in their separateness in the form of their individuality and their unity in the form of their love and compassion for each other, and this love and compassion is their mutual body.


In their mutual body, the man is the mental and the woman the emotional.


Therefore, the man takes the position of the head that juts into the heaven, and the woman takes the position of the feet that walk on the Earth, and in this way they both take their rightful places in their mutual body.


With love and compassion for his own and the woman’s individuality, the man selects the path the couple has to walk, and the woman achieves her Paradise by walking the path the man chooses.


With love and compassion for her own and the man’s individuality, the woman selects where on the path the couple has to place their feet, and the man achieves his Paradise by placing his feet on the path in those places that the woman chooses.


TuTu explained that shortly before his death Jesus washed the feet of his disciples to call attention to his love, care, compassion and mercy for the feminine principle with this symbolic act.

 

 

TO BECOME LIKE CHILDREN ANEW

 

A man can approach his beloved’s four aspects by approaching the Goddess, the mother, the woman and the girl.


A woman can approach her beloved’s four aspects by approaching the God, the father, the man and the boy.

 

A man approaches the Goddess to ask for directions as to where to place his feet, and the right attitude is then to take his place as the boy who asks for a favor and becomes grateful if he receives it.

 

A woman approaches the God to ask for directions as to which path she should take, and the right attitude is then to take her place as the girl who asks for a favor and becomes grateful if she receives it.

 

A man approaches the mother and a woman approaches the father to ask for care, and the right attitude is then to take his/her place as the boy or the girl who asks for a favor and becomes grateful if he/she receives it.

 

A man/woman approaches the woman/man to ask for lovemaking, and the right attitude is then to take his/her place as the boy/girl who asks for a favor and becomes grateful if he/she receives it.

 

In the lovemaking, the man and the woman take the right attitude by being innocently selfish like children who only listen to the swing of their own sexual feelings, and they ask their partner to satisfy their desire for touch in a way that their sexual feelings reveal to them will feel the best, and they become grateful if they receive it.

 

A man/woman approaches the girl/boy to ask her/him to play with him/her, and the right attitude is then to take his/her place as the boy/girl who asks for a favor and becomes grateful if he/she receives it.

 

These attitudes are the right ones because we must become like children anew to enter the Garden of Eden, that place in existence where love and compassion for the beloved fill in all emptiness.

 

 

THAT HUMAN BEING WHO LIVES ALONE

 

That human being, who has achieved his/her individual and personal Self-realization, but who lives alone, must patiently wait to meet his/her beloved to achieve his/her Absolute Self-realization and in the meantime prepare for this meeting by using his/her personal contact with his/her true Self as the head and his/her life and will as the feet.

 

The true Self then selects the path this person must take, and the person himself/herself chooses where on the path he/she will put his/her feet.

 

 

THE CAMEL AND THE NEEDLE’S EYE

 

It is important that money, property, power and prestige issues do not divert us from taking our rightful places, because it is as difficult for the rich to enter Paradise as it is for a camel to pass through a needle’s eye.


The rich has acquired more than he/she needs to be able to strut around in self-important seriousness and let others serve him/her for money, and because others serve him/her in that way, he/she believes that his/her desires are more important than everybody else’s, and therefore he/she is like a fool who plays wise.


The one who receives the fulfillment of his/her big and small desires like a grateful child instead of demanding is a fool in the eyes of the rich but is, however, the true sage who takes his/her rightful place as the child at the root of his/her own being, and who can therefore get access to Paradise where to tickets cannot be bought for property, money, power or prestige.

 

 

THE ONE WHO EXALTS HIMSELF/HERSELF SHALL BE HUMBLED

 

A spiritual teacher, who lets himself/herself be served by his/her students, or who receives payments in any form to pass on his/her spiritual experiences is like the rich, who distributes pearls to exalt himself/herself, but when a person exalts himself/herself, also the abasement has to follow


This will take place at the point in time when the concerned person realizes that he/she is neither more nor less than any other creaturemanifestion and thus has to step down from his/her self-exalted state.

 

 

SOCIETY’S PERCEPTION OF THE MASCULINE AND THE FEMININE PRINCIPLE

 

TuTu explained that the masculine image of the World is perceived as rational, exact and predictable, and the feminine image as irrational, inexact and unpredictable.


In some societies, the irrational is perceived as negative, on the border of insanity.


This attitude is often found in societies which are dominated by the mental.


In other societies, which are dominated by the emotional, a similar negative attitude is found about the rational, but both attitudes are out of balance because thoughts that are not combined with emotions can lead to many cold and heartless actions, and emotions that are not combined with thoughts can lead to many explosive and destructive actions.


Therefore, it is just as necessary for men to learn to listen to their emotions as it is for women to learn to put their emotions into a mental frame, and in this way, both of
them can learn to createmanifest balanced actions.

 

 

The Christ Consciousness

 

Jesus was referred to as Christ.


Many use the two names at random but TuTu explained that it is essential to discern between the individual person Jesus and the universal field of consciousness called Christ, which Jesus came into the World to inform humanity about.


Furthermore, he said that today there are many to be found in this field of consciousness.


Some are not even aware of it themselves because they don’t discern between the person Jesus and his state of consciousness called Christ.


The Christ Consciousness expresses itself differently in different people depending on their personal inclination and capacity, but the characteristics for anyone who has achieved the Christ Consciousness is that he/she has a personal contact with his/her true Self, that he/she has surrendered his/her will and life to his/her true Self's care, and that he/she shows love, care, compassion and mercy towards those who still suffer.


Anybody who is found in the field of consciousness called Christ can rightfully add this designation to his/her name as his/her holy name showing his/her existential standing.

 

Contents part 2

 

THE PRINCIPLES IN CHRIST AND THE PRINCIPLES IN TUTU

 

The development of the Christ Consciousness can take place in many ways, and one of these is to work all The Twelve Steps in any of The Fellowships Anonymous, which TuTu called The Free Church of the Christ, where the members can learn to live in accordance with the principles of the field of the Christ Consciousness that consists in having a personal contact with one's true Self, having surrendered one’s will and one’s life to one's true Self's care and in showing love, care, compassion and mercy to those who still suffer.


In these Fellowships, the members can easily get access to the Christ Consciousness because a spiritual teacher who has worked the 12 Steps in any of the Fellowships Anonymous and who is called a sponsor can guide the newcomer on his/her path to his/her true Self and thereby make it possible for him/her to surrender to his/her true Self's care and thus achieve the spiritual awakening that consists in love, care, compassion and mercy for the still suffering.

 

Thereby he/she has attained the Christ Consciousness that is also called the consciousness of mercy and he/she can justly ad the name Christ to his/her personal name and thereby express his/her existential stage by the help of his/her holy name; Christ.


The sponsors do this work without receiving either money or services, and therefore nobody needs to lack the Christ Consciousness and the personal contact with God today.


The principles that express themselves through the field of consciousness called TuTu are: A personal contact with one´s true Self, unconditional surrender to one's true Self's care, unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy for all,
be it the still suffering or those who are successful in their own eyes or in the eyes of society.


A person can merge his/her consciousness into the field of consciousness called Christ by carrying out the 12 Steps in the 12 Step Program of Active Addictions Anonymous – The Wild Life and then direct his/her consciousness towards TuTu by working the Program of Christs Anonymous – The Thirteenth Step, and in that way prepare himself/herself to attain the consciousness called TuTu by the help of his/her Other Half – his/her Eternal Beloved.
 

 

THE OUTRAGE OVER CHRIST

 

Anybody who has worked the 12 Steps either in Active Addictions Anonymous -The Wild life or in any of the other 12 Step Fellowships Anonymous, or who otherwise considers himself/herself to be ready can participate in Christs Anonymous - The Thirteenth Step if he/she desires to, and in ChrisAn he/she can work with The Thirteenth Step after having completed the Twelve Steps of Christs Anonymous.

 

This Program is called The Thirteenth Step because one first works The Twelve Steps and then The Twelve Traditions that constitutes one more step, the Thirteenth Step.


In this Fellowship, members introduce themselves by first stating their personal name followed by an honest and courageous admission of their holy name, their state of consciousness, by saying: "I'm Christ".

 

Although, some may feel outraged by this, TuTu suggested to those who fear the outrage to be brave and stand by their Christ Consciousness.


In this way, we can contribute to make the Christ Consciousness real to ourselves and to the World in all its nuances, and this will help us to get everything put into its right place and others to achieve the Christ Consciousness, even though we have been told that this state of consciousness is unattainable to anybody but Jesus.


This untruth is expressed by those who desire the power and the glory, and so they demand that anybody who admits to possess the Christ Consciousness must be able to walk on water in physical Reality, and thereby, they hinder the nuances of the Christ Consciousness in coming to an honest expression.

 

 

THE PROGRAM OF CHRISTS ANONYMOUS

 

The Program of Christs Anonymous consists in first admitting that we are powerless over our addiction to our thinking mind, our ego, and how that makes our life unmanageable and then to open ourselves to believing that a Power greater than us can lead us to our true Self, our Spirit, and thus to Joy of Being.


Then we make a decision unconditionally to surrender our will and our life to the care of our Higher Power as we understand that Power.


With the courage and the strength this decision brings forth we make a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves, and then we admit our exact nature to ourselves, to our true Selves, to another human being and to our ChrisAn Fellowship.

 

After this, we make ourselves ready to be liberated from all our defects of character, and when we have become entirely ready, we humbly ask our true Selves to liberate us from them.


Next, we make a list of all the persons we have harmed - seen through the eyes we have achieved by the help of the first seven Steps in our Christs Anonymous Program, - beginning with making amends to ourselves and we also become willing to make amends to everyone else on our list, and when time is ripe, we make the amends, unless making direct amends will harm ourselves, them or others that are indirectly involved in the consequences of the situation we want to make amends for .

If that is the case, we give indirect amends by doing what we want to do for the person, we have harmed, but to another human being, who needs it.


Then, we continue to take daily inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it.


Through prayer and meditation, we seek to improve our conscious contact with our Higher Power, as we understand that Power, asking only for knowledge of our Higher Power’s will for us and the power to carry that out.

 
After having achieved a spiritual awakening as a result of this work, we continue to practice these principles in our daily life and pass on the message to others that it is possible – by the help of the 12 Step Program of Christs Anonymous – to let go of one's addiction to one's thinking mind, one's ego so as to be united with one's true Self, one's Spirit and thereby be led to Joy of Being.

 

 

THE THIRTEENTH STEP

 

After finishing the work with the Twelve Steps we work with The Twelve Traditions, each of which deals with our relationship with The World around us, and by the help of this work we become able to place our spiritual clarity in our Earthly contexts.

 

The Twelve Traditions put together are equivalent to one last Step - The Thirteenth Step.

 

 

THE COMPLETE BRIDGE TO THE NEW WORLD ORDER

 

TuTu said that, to complete The Bridge to The New World Order, AcAdAn, which stands for the 12 Step Fellowship of Active Addictions Anonymous - The Wild Life also has to come forth.

 

Those of us who, even if we want to, cannot free ourselves from our Earthly dependency of alcohol, drugs, nicotine, food, our body, compulsive spending, sex, relationships, codependency, destructive thoughts and emotions, character defects, work, money, power, prestige, fame, material or spiritual ambitions, or any other obsession that drives us to act compulsively, can be a member of AcAdAn.

 

Today, many are found who suffer from a severe case of active addiction, and many more that have a mild or moderate form of this disease, and in the here and now, any case of addiction can consist in mild cases that can be resolved, medium or severe cases that may be resolved and light cases that can be resolved, but whether our addiction can be resolved in the here and now or not, nobody who wants access to a 12 Step Fellowship should be denied this no matter the character their active addiction.

 

Contents part 2

 

TOTOS SOLFOND

 

TuTu said that if the Fellowships Anonymous – all the Fellowships that work with a 12-Step Program in one form or other – want to participate in relieving the suffering on Earth, they could form a foundation called ToTo's Solfond, which could support the creationmanifestation of homes for homeless human beings all over the World, in particular for children.

 

On the first of September every year, all of the Fellowships Anonymous put together could distribute the foundation funds for homeless purposes with 22% in The North, 22% in The South, 22% in The East and 22% in The West.

 

The remaining 12% could be used for expenses incurred by the foundation, and any surplus from here could be returned to the foundation at the end of a calendar year and thus be included in the next year’s distribution of the foundation funds.

 

If we chose to use the surplus of our group from any 12 Step Group in this way, at the same time, we chose to contribute to improve the World we are part of, where it is needed the most.

 

On the 22nd of August every year, we could organize a convention in Copenhagen prior to the distribution of our money.

 

Here, we could look into how much money we had collected and participate in the decision as to how we wanted our money to be used in accordance with the suggested guide lines.

 

In the beginning of the life of the foundation, there would hardly be anything to distribute, in particular because we give free copyright and access to those who want to read our literature or who want to pass it on.

 

Still, we do not increase our contributions in our own 12-Step Group, because we want that the foundation should grow forth harmoniously as an expression of the united will of our Fellowships to contribute to the World we live in, where it is needed the most, and we ensure that the foundation does not reflect one person’s or a few members’ influence or affluence.

 

 

THE FOUNDATION OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER

 

TuTu called himself the Messiah Anonymous.


Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of The New World Order, and that means that it is not the personal data, life story or behavior of the individual person which shall be focused on but how earthly and spiritual principles work in this person’s life, and therefore no person can evaluate another person or another person’s life or behavior by looking at him/her from the outside.


Seen from the outside, a person’s life may be filled with misfortunes and degradations, but seen from within, in spite of it all, living in accordance with earthly and spiritual principles can fill the life of the person with happiness and elevations, even if this person lives at the bottom of society, outcast and persecuted, conscious that his/her life will end at a young age with a violent death, like it was the case for Jesus, and like it was the case for Harishchandra too, but this can only be known if the person chooses to tell about it.

 
Therefore TuTu’s personal life shall not be considered an example to be followed but to be one of many upcoming examples as to how living in accordance with the principles of TuTu can affect a person’s life.


However, it is important to inform about his personal data, not to break the principle of anonymity but for the sake of giving anybody who needs a confirmation that he has indeed lived on Earth the opportunity to have it confirmed.

 

 

THE MESSENGER AND THE MESSAGE

 

TuTu explained that in the case of Jesus the principle of anonymity was not observed, and therefore, today, confusion still exists concerning the messenger and the message.


Jesus chose thirteen companions who were going to be the carriers of the Christ Consciousness, so they could pass on the message about Christ when Jesus himself died.


The teachings they received took a different course because they traveled with him and were affected by his radiation, while at the same time, they had the opportunity to observe how the principles in Christ expressed themselves in one person’s life, namely in the life of Jesus.


In spite of the personal teaching that they received, to some extent, they too confused the messenger and the message, and also the zeitgeist, to a certain extent, clouded their perspective.

 

 

VIRGINITY

 

The contemporary perspectives of those times concerning women were also prevalent among the thirteen and this expressed itself in various ways, but TuTu said that in spite of this, truth will triumph in the end.


The twelve had the idea that the message would lose its power of penetration if society had to accept a woman like Mary Magdalene - who not only spoke in congregations but at the same time was considered an outcast of the society - as one of the carriers of the holy consciousness of Christ, and therefore they expelled her from the group after Jesus’ death citing the reason that Israel had twelve tribes and there were twelve months in a year, and therefore thirteen was an unfortunate number, and after that they spoke about her as an appendage to the group and not as one of the group.


However, they understood that the feminine principle could not be omitted entirely, and instead they chose to focus on his personal story by involving Mary, the mother of Jesus, as the feminine aspect.


Jesus himself pointed out that his mother was not a carrier of the Christ Consciousness when he dismissed her and his brothers at the doorway stating that they were not his true family.


TuTu called the birth of Jesus a whim in nature, who, in this way, chose to mark his birth as a special event which was worth noticing, and therefore it could not be perceived as an example to be followed.


That adoration of virginity, which became a result of confusing the messenger and the message, has cost both men and women much pain and has also createdmanifested problems in the development of the love life of humankind.

 

 

THE NUMBER 13 AND THE NUMBERS 6-6-6

 

Even today, there are many who perceive thirteen as an unfortunate number, but Jesus chose thirteen disciples to call attention to the thirteenth letter ‘m’ in the Hebrew alphabet.


‘M’ stands for the holy feminine principle Goddess the Mother.


The sixth letter in the alphabet is ‘f’, which stands for the holy masculine principle God the Father.

 

In the Bible, the Holy Trinity consists in God the Father, God the son and the Holy Spirit, and it is stated that the numbers 6-6-6 are the sign of the animal, which has given rise to many fables about these numbers as the numbers of the Devil, the Evil numbers etc.

 

The Bible warns people against the formation of 6-6-6, because if you exclusively perceive God to be the creative male force, and exclude the manifesting female force, it will createmanifest problems in the perspectives on existence both for the individual and for society, because this formation of numbers put God the Father in all three places of The Holy Trinity and thus it excludes humanity in the form of God the son and also the Holy Spirit, which is the holy feminine principle Goddess the Mother and Goddess the daughter.

 

When we embrace only the divine masculine force in our perception of God, we give life-force to the formation of 6-6-6, the number of the beast - the animal man and the animal woman - the lowest and most destructive class of people within humankind, thus creatingmanifesting an immense and prolonged suffering for humankind as prophesied in The Bible.
 

Contents part 2

 

THE ONE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN THROWS THE FIRST STONE

 

TuTu said that love and forgiveness go hand in hand, but the group around Jesus was not able to forgive Judas for his contribution to the death of Jesus in spite of the fact that they were carriers of the Christ Consciousness, but those who want to follow earthly principles have to work with themselves until they find the place of forgiveness within themselves.


Forgiveness cannot be given as a decision but has to spring from the heart, otherwise the person puts himself/herself aside to give to another, and thereby he/she loses contact with his/her true condition.


Judas was consumed by political issues and thought that Jesus was going to be king of the country.

 

He imagined that if only the priests met him, they would realize that he ought to be king, and therefore he wanted to bring the priests and Jesus together, but when he saw the consequence of his action, he took his own life in pain and despair because of it.


After two thousand years, in her present life as TuTu’s wife, Mary Magdalene realized that humanity consists in being limited, ignorant, powerless and mortal, and like humanity prevented Judas from foreseeing the consequences of his actions, it prevented her from the same, and thus she had to realize the truth of the words of Jesus: "The one who is without sin throws the first stone," and then she forgave Judas.


At an even later stage, when she read G. I. Gurdjieff's trilogy: All and Everything, she came to perceive Judas as having been instructed by Jesus to act as he did so that Jesus could fulfill his mission, and thus it fell into place for her, when all the contemporary accounts in the Bible unanimously reported that Jesus said to Judas during the Last Supper: Go and do what you must do, and that it was a possibility that Judas committed suicide in order to follow his much-loved Master to the Higher Worlds without waiting for his old age.

 

LUCIFER

 

That time came too when she forgave the people who contributed to the death of Jesus, but she was only able to do so after her Spiritual Wedding with him as Harishchandra Sharma TuTu took place, because she understood then what she did not understand before, and thereby she realized that also she had contributed to his death.

She understood that TuTu and she were the first of the eternal couples who left the Absolute to experience life as creaturesmanifestations.

We chose to manifest as Quadruplets together with another couple, who wanted the same, and thus we manifested in four directions - the North, the South, the East and the West - and in that way, Four became the first positive power factor in the creationmanifestation where the invisible is the negative, the darkness or the Spirit, and the visible is the positive, the light or matter.

Others of the eternal couples followed in the wake in wave after wave, until everybody who had the same desire had projected themselves out of the Absolute and into createdmanifested forms.

Gradually, as the couples moved into the third dimension, many forgot their original desire and became dissatisfied with life.

They began cursing the day they were createdmanifested, and said that they would not have gone out if he who went out first had not done so.

His name was Lucifer, the light carrier, whom God loved, because he loved life under all circumstances.

Those who cursed their destiny asked Lucifer how he was able to love life, and he answered that he had accepted that every creaturemanifestation had to carry a cross, which consists in limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality.

 

 

THE ONE WHO GIVES HIS/HER LIFE SHALL PRESERVE IT, AND THE ONE WHO TRIES TO PRESERVE IT SHALL LOSE IT

 

They retorted that it was exactly their limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality that createdmanifested the anger in themselves.

He explained that his acceptance sprang from the fact that he had chosen to unconditionally surrender his will and his life to the care of his Absolute consciousness, which he called his true Self.

His true Self’s form consisted in the individuality and the unity, and these were not confined within any mortal body.

The result of his own limitation because of his mortal body was his ignorance about many things and his powerlessness over that which he did not know, but because his true Self was not submitted to these limitations, he moved ahead courageously in life trusting the lead of his true Self.

Therefore, he could use his life force to enjoy life and help himself to all the good things that his true Self offered him on life’s journey; while at the same time, he accepted the pains of life as a necessary part of creationmanifestation.

To experience life as a creaturemanifestation, he had to separate himself from the unlimited to take on a limited form, and the pain of life consists in this separation, which is also called death in all things, whether big or small.

They got angry and said that they had not got their life to give it away to a true Self, but now they understood better why they suffered.

The true Self was quite simply revengeful and sent them sufferings, because they did with their life what they wanted.

He answered that their true Self gave them the freedom to do what they wanted with their life, but when a creaturemanifestation reached a point where he/she asked his/her true Self to take over the care of his/her will and his/her life, he/she would open up to the discovery that his/her true Self had taken on the responsibility of leading him/her in accordance with his/her own desires from the beginning to the end, and thereby, he/she would gradually realize the unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy of his/her true Self, and little by little, that would make his/her anger and bitterness about being a creaturemanifestation disappear.

 

 

THE FALLEN ANGEL

 

They were seized by distrust and said to each other that he was just a fallen angel who tried to misguide them, but now you could see that when all came down to it he was in Reality their most ardent opponent because who could rejoice in life if you had to give it away at the same time.


When they suffered, they wanted the same suffering to come to his lot so he could discover the true character of his true Self.

 

 

NOT A STONE WAS TO BE FOUND ON WHICH HE COULD LEAN HIS HEAD

 

When his other half heard their answer, she was seized by shame and fled from him.


In the end, the innocent one did not find a stone on which he could lean his head, and he gave in to the outrage and asked what we wanted from him.


We answered that he should live as a son of humankind, without a job, at the bottom of society, outcast and persecuted, and besides this, he should go through the most severe of tortures that came to the lot of those whom society proclaimed to be criminals.


If, under these circumstances, without anger, he would surrender his will and his life to his true Self’s care, then we would believe that this was the way to love life as a creaturemanifestation.

He agreed to take on this task in compassion for our lack of insight, and at the same time, he hoped that his destiny would arouse our compassion, because he needed our love and compassion just as much as we needed his.

When we saw him hang on the cross, we realized that he had completed the task and many picked up the message, but many dissociated themselves from it and continued to curse Lucifer and blame him for their self-created-self-manifested hell.

 

 

THE SAVIOR

 

The many that picked up the message spread over the Earth to pass it on.


One single person of those, who picked up the message shortly after the death of Jesus, was a powerful messenger, but to a certain extent, he was also blinded by his human limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality, and because he could not simultaneously hold the thought that The Messiah, The World Teacher, was executed as a criminal and that God's love is infinitely merciful, he found peace from this paradox by creatingmanifesting the myth about the Savior.

This misunderstanding has createdmanifested much suffering in those, who wanted to follow the teachings of Jesus, and now it seems to have taken roots as that mental illness which is known by the name of The Savior Complex, popularly known as Codependency.
 

Contents part 2


Below is a graph which illustrates the thought pattern in this complex.

 

THE RING OF THE SAVIOR COMPLEX


 

 

These four characteristics in the Ring of the Savior Complex constitute one thought pattern and that means that all four of them become active if one activates just one of them.

 

Below, the four main streams of thinking in this complex are described separately:

 

THE SAVIOR: I have to save others from the consequences of their social life, their thoughts, emotions and actions so that I get to feel good about myself.


THE SEDUCER: Others cannot bear to know how I think, feel and act, and therefore I have to conceal, deny, twist, manipulate, lie or falsify that image of my Reality which I pass on to others, so that I get to feel good about myself.


THE OFFENDER:
Other’s social life, thoughts, emotions and actions are wrong, and it is my task to change them so that I get to feel good about myself.


THE VICTIM:
I have to sacrifice my money, time, energy and interests for others so that I get to feel good about myself.

 

The healing of this mental illness consists in creatingmanifesting an opposing environment of thoughts in one's mind, and the healthy thought pattern is illustrated in the graph below:

 

 

THE RING OF EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY

 

 

DETACHMENT: Others need to know the consequences of their social life, their thoughts, emotions and actions just like I need to know the consequences of mine, so that they and I can become more enlightened; so I give myself and others the time and space to get to know the consequences of our social life, our thoughts, emotions and actions, and thus we find that contentment begins to bloom within us.

 

INTEGRITY: I need to know the Reality of the others as it is, and they need to know my Reality as it is, so both they and I can form a truer image of Reality as it IS, and thus we find that contentment begins to bloom within us.

 

RESPECT FOR OTHERS: Others need to think, feel, act and relate to others in accordance with their Reality as it IS, just like I need to think, feel, act and relate to others in accordance with my Reality as it IS, so that both they and I can find out how to createmanifest a daily life which satisfies us, and thus we find that contentment begins to bloom within us.

RESPECT FOR SELF: I and others need to use our money, time, energy and personal interests on ourselves first of all so at to become able to createmanifest a daily life for ourselves that satisfy us, and thus we find that contentment begins to bloom within us
.

 

 

HE CAME AS A THIEF IN THE NIGHT

 

In spite of this misunderstanding, the soil was slowly fertilized so he could come back to conclude the work.

 

It is written in the Bible that at the time of his return many would say: "There he is… there he is…" pointing in many different directions, but he advised the people not to believe it because he would come like a thief in the night, and therefore the residents of the house would only discover that he had been there when they woke up in the morning and saw the result of his visit.


TuTu came as a thief in the night, lived anonymously at the bottom of society and was only recognized by some of those who met him personally, and who frequently greeted him with the words: "Hello Jesus."


He took care of his errand on Earth and died in Copenhagen on the second of March 1998.

 

 

THE NEW HOLY LAND AND THE NEW JERUSALEM

 

In the Bible, it is also written that he would not return to Jerusalem because Jerusalem kills the prophets, and therefore, a new holy land and a New Jerusalem would arise at his return.


The Master said during one of his travels to the West that Denmark is the spiritual capital of the World today.


Thus, he appointed Denmark to be the new holy land of the World.


TuTu chose to live, teach and die in Denmark's capital Copenhagen, which he thereby appointed to be the New
Jerusalem, the new holy city of the World.

 

 

ARCHETYPES

 

TuTu taught me that the Universe consists of an infinite number of fields of energy, which are called interference patterns.

 

The voltage among compound energies in a certain interference pattern maintains the pattern in its form.

 

A certain number of individual and personal interference patterns of the same type put together form a bigger universal and impersonal interference pattern, and this is an archetype.


The archetype holds the combined consciousness of all the individual parts, while at the same time, every single part holds the total consciousness of the archetype.


He gave the example that the individual human being can be seen as the individual and personal interference pattern, and that all of humanity put together make up the universal and impersonal interference pattern, which is the archetype: The human being.


The connection between the archetype X and the individual part Y can be configured in the equation:

 

X = (Y x Z) + S

 

where one multiplies Y with Z, which is the number of the parts and to this add S, which is their synthesis, because the synthesis of the parts is bigger than the sum of the individual parts in the same way as an alarm clock is more than the sum of its individual parts.

 

Contents part 2

 

THE ONENESS OF HUMANKIND

 

I could not imagine that I, as a part of humankind, hold all of humankind’s consciousness, until TuTu took me to a holographic exhibition of pictures one day.

           
Holographic pictures are three-dimensional and arise when a picture plate with an interference pattern is lit by laser light, and thereby the three-dimensional picture appears.


If the holographic picture plate of a horse, for example, is cut into many pieces and you pick up that piece which was a part of the horse’s ear before and light it up with laser light, the piece shows the whole horse.


He explained that the exhibition could be used as an illustration of the principle that everybody is a part of totality and every part IS the totality.


This implies that a single person’s happiness or unhappiness affects all of humankind, if not in a wake and conscious state then in a sleeping and unconscious state, and one person’s happiness or unhappiness will thus express itself in all of humankind’s life.

 

 

GOD

 

That the individual human being is not necessarily aware that he/she holds the total consciousness is due to the limitation of the eye of consciousness in the third dimension, and this can be illustrated by drawing a big ball and placing a microscopic dot at any point somewhere on either the surface on the outside or inside the ball.


The ball then represents the total consciousness of the person, and the dot represents the limited window of the consciousness in the third dimension.


At the same time, the comparison of the dot with the ball illustrates the relationship between the wake day consciousness of the person - the dot, and the subconscious of the person - the ball.


The ball or the total field of consciousness is in and of itself an archetype, which includes everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of consciousness.


This archetype is called God, and everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of consciousness is thus God and holds all of God’s consciousness since each part holds the totality.

 

 

SPHERES OF CONSCIOUSNESS

 

The dot can be placed in various places on the surface of the ball or inside it, and in this way, you can mark the focus point of the consciousness in various areas, in various outer or inner spheres.


Various spheres of consciousness hold different Worlds and these can be experienced by moving the focus point of consciousness by the help of reflection, contemplation, concentration and meditation.


We are all used to moving effortlessly in the third dimension without bouncing into other living beings or objects, but in our Earthly lives, that is not so for our movements in the other dimensions of our existence as well, and this is clearly seen when we clash with others emotionally, mentally, socially or spiritually.


TuTu explained that by surrendering to his/her own emotions a person can get used to be in that condition which exists in the fifth dimension, where emotions move effortlessly.


By using his/her own thoughts in a reflective manner, i.e. by reflecting everything instead of judging it on the grounds of good and evil or right and wrong, a person can get used to be in that condition which exists in the sixth dimension, where thoughts move effortlessly.


When a person goes into the contemplative state and thereby begin concentrating in his/her consciousness, he/she can get used to be in that condition which exists in the seventh
dimension, where love, care, compassion and mercy flow effortlessly in our social interactions. From the concentrated state of awareness, a person can enter the meditative state, and a person can thus learn to consciously empty his/her focus point and thereby become able to see, hear, feel or sense God, and at the same time, he/she is able to enter the other dimensions and thus become able to experience Reality in the other Worlds without meeting resistance from emotions and thoughts which spring from his/her experiences in the third dimension.

 

The graphs below illustrate these states of consciousness.

 

Each circle represents one of our states of consciousness and the dots inside them represent our thoughts in the various states of consciousness.

 

Contents part 2

 

STATES OF CONSCIOUSNESS

 

                                                                                 Ordinary          Reflection        Contemplation     Concentration     Meditation

 

 

 

The first circle shows a normal state of mind with many thoughts that produces various emotional states set into motion by our thoughts.

 

The second circle represents a reflective state of mind where we allow our thoughts and emotions to pass through us without trying to hold on to a particular thought or the emotion the thought holds, and by so doing, peace of mind arises, because we cease to give each and every thought or emotion power over us.

 

The third circle shows a contemplative state of mind, which is an immersion in a particular thought or set of thoughts, and this is called prayer when it concerns spiritual pursuits, where our thoughts are concentrated on an object, a word, a mantra, a koan or a prayer wandering to and from the point of contemplation.

 

The fourth circle shows a concentrated state of mind, where all other thoughts but the object of contemplation have disappeared.

 

The fifth circle shows a meditative state of mind, where there is no thought activity but a direct experience of Reality and this is called the Silence or the emptiness in the focus point, which is a prerequisite for the direct experience of our true Selves’s presence.

 

TuTu further explained that by looking at the Rings of Social Interactions a person can find help to develop his/her social life, his/her love life.

 

 

THE RINGS OF SOCIAL INTERACTIONS

 

 

 

By the help of these Rings, it becomes easier for the person to see that there is a ‘me’, an ‘us’ and a ‘you’ in any social interaction.

 

If he/she pulls his/her own life-circle out from the intertwined circles, he/she sees that almost half of his/her personal life-circle is consumed by the ‘us’ in any social interaction.

 

From this, he/she can easily see that it will also settle as a hurt in his/her own life-circle if he/she hurts another.

 

It also becomes clear that when two people have a social interaction, they are both in touch with a Power Greater than their individual selves as a ‘me’ and a ‘you’ – in the form of the greater entity existing in the ‘us’ that is greater than the sum of its parts.

 

Many people have a tendency in their social life, their Soul life, to usurp the time, energy, interest and money of others, hoping that they could liberate themselves from loneliness, boredom, emptiness and meaninglessness this way and thereby harm their love life.

 

With the help of the Ring of Emptiness and the Ring of Fulfillment, a person can look into this idea and thus easily get to see that what they hope to achieve cannot be achieved by something outside them but must be healed from within.

 

 

THE RING OF EMPTINESS AND THE RING OF FULFILLMENT

 

 

If we found ourselves in the Ring of Emptiness when we had empty time in front of us, we felt bored, and life seemed meaningless to us when we felt bored.


In particular we experienced that we had empty time in front of us when we had completed a specific task or project which had usurped a large amount of time, or it could also happen simply because we had a lot of time available in our day.
 

As a result of the meaninglessness and boredom, we wanted to flee from ourselves and our lives, and when we wanted to leave ourselves and our lives we felt lonely.

If we found ourselves in the Ring of Fulfillment when we had empty time in front of us, we identified ourselves with our true Self, our Spirit, and thereby, we experienced oneness with ourselves on all of our planes of existence and also with everything and everybody everywhere at all planes of existence, even with the so called 'dead' matter.

When we thus experienced oneness with everything, we found everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence, including ourselves, interesting, and thus we experienced that every present moment, every NOW, filled us up in a meaningful way.

 

TUTU’S SUGGESTIONS FOR CONTEMPLATION

 

The merged masculine and feminine principle is called Ardhanarishvara in Sanskrit and is a designation for God, our FatherMother.

 

Ardhanarishvara is also the designation for the merged masculine and feminine principle in each individual Spirit, whom God createdmanifested in the God Realm/the Absolute/the Eighth Dimension/the Spirit plane.

 

If a human being has lived through his/her Spiritual Wedding and thus has attained his/her oneness with his/her true Self, his/her Spirit, he/she can use the Spirit Prayer as an object of contemplation to expand his/her conscious awareness of the Oneness in the Absolute between God, his/her FatherMother and himself/herself as the SonDaughter of God.

 

THE SPIRIT PRAYER

 

The ‘I’ Version

 

The ‘I’ Version

God, my FatherMother
You Who are
in the God Realm
May Your name be my
Holy Name Ardhanarishvara
May Your Realm come on Earth
so Your will may happen on Earth

likeit happens in the God Realm
Give me this day what I need
Forgive me my mistakes and give me

the capacityto forgive those who mistake me
Guide me through my desires
andliberate me from my mistakes
For Yours is the God Realm
andthe Power
and the Glory
eternally.
Amen.


It is also recommended to do meditation in groups because the united force of the group can help the individual to enter into meditation.

As entrance to group meditation, the group can begin by saying the words aloud together like this:

 

The ‘Group’ Version


God, our FatherMother
You Who are in the God Realm
May Your name be my
Holy Name Ardhanarishvara
May Your Realm come on Earth
so Your will may happen on Earth
like it happens in the God Realm
Give us this day what we need
Forgive us our mistakes and give us
the capacity to forgive those who mistake us
Guide us through our desires
and liberate us from our mistakes
For Yours is the God Realm
and the Power
and the Glory
eternally.
Amen.

With the same purpose in mind, we could also choose to recite the following Sanskrit mantra:


OM Mani Padme Hum!

Which in English would mean: 

Amen, the Jewel Is in the Lotus flower!


The jewel would represent the masculine principle and the lotus flower would represent the feminine principle.

 

 

If a person has not attained oneness with his/her true Self, his/her Spirit, he/she can prepare for this oneness through the attainment of the Divine Wedding on the Soul Plane/the Divine Plane/the Seventh Dimension/Heaven, and for this purpose he/she can use the Soul Prayer as a contemplation object.

 

At this level of consciousness, God the Father and Goddess Mother are two and God the Son and Goddess Daughter are two, and this expresses the state of mind found in the symbol 2et purpur hjerte 13 punkt2, which is the first positive power factor in the consciousness hierarchy of humankind and thus the end of suffering and death arising from the separation of the masculine and the feminine principle in The Big Bang.

THE SOUL PRAYER

 

The ‘I’ Version

 

My Father and my Mother

You Who are on the Divine plane
May Your name be my
Holy Name TuTu
May Your Realm come on Earth
so Your will may happen on Earth

like it happens on the Divine plane
Give me this day what I need
Forgive me my mistakes and give me

the capacity to forgive those who mistake me
Guide me through my desires

and liberate me from my mistakes
For Yours is the Soul Realm

and the Power

and the Glory

 eternally.
Amen.

 

 

The ‘we’ Version

 

Our Father and our Mother

You Who are on the Divine plane
May Your name be our
Holy Name TuTu
May Your Realm come on Earth
so Your will may happen on Earth

like it happens on the Divine plane
Give us this day what we need
Forgive us our mistakes and give us

the capacity to forgive those who mistake us
Guide us through our desires

and liberate us from our mistakes
For Yours is the Soul Realm

and the Power

and the Glory

 eternally.
Amen.


 

We could also use the following object of contemplation to make our spiritual goal clear to ourselves.


THE GOD PRAYER

 

God
You are the only true goal of my life
I’m yet but a slave of my wishes
putting bar to my advancement
and You are the only God and Power
Who can take me up to that stage,
so take my will and my life
and show me how to live
in complete conformity
with my true Self, my Spirit.

   
And in the group setting:   
God
You are the only true goal of our life
We are yet but slaves of our wishes
putting bar to our advancement
and You are the only God and Power
Who can take us up to that stage,
so take our will and our life
and show us how to live
in complete conformity
with our true Self, our Spirit.

 

THE GRATITUDE PRAYER


In the morning, TuTu himself used a very simple prayer, which required that he received everything that came to his lot on that day with gratitude, because he perceived it to come as a gift from his true Self and the Gratitude Prayer is expressed in the following way:
God,
You know what this, your child, needs today.

And in the group setting:
God,
You know what these, your children, need today.

THE TWO WAY PRAYER

 
The Two Way Prayer is a prayer and meditation form, which mostly takes ten minutes or less, where the spiritual aspirant writes a question down to his/her true Self and this he/she perceives to be prayer.

Then he/she imagines what his/her true Self would answer and write that down and this he/she perceives to be meditation and thus the completion of his/her prayer and meditation for the day.

God,
I seek your guidance today about.......

(the spiritual aspirant writes down his/her chosen question and becomes silent.
When the answer arises within him/her, he/she writes down the answer).

 

  Contents part 2

 

SLEEPING AND WAKE CONSCIOUSNESS

 

Every person travels through the dimensions, from the fourth dimension to the Absolute, every night during sleep, and in this way picking up his/her life-force for the day.

 

The difference between the worldly and the spiritual person is that the worldly person does this in the night in a sleeping and unconscious state, and the spiritual person can furthermore do this in the daytime in a wake and conscious state.

 

 

THE HOLY GRAIL

 

That field of consciousness which is called Christ is found in the seventh dimension and it activates love, care, compassion and mercy.


That field of consciousness which is called TuTu is the entrance to the Absolute and after the Spiritual Wedding of the Soul Mates in TuTu, where they melt into one being as their true Self, their Spirit/Ardhanarishvara it activates the unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy in all of their personal energy field.

 

The Spiritual Wedding takes place in TuTu between that man and that woman who has achieved their individual and personal Self-realization and has then surrendered to each other in unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy.


As a result of this wedding, their consciousness merges into the Holy Grail, which is also called the innermost heart of the eternal couple, their heart's heart or the Ocean of Love.

 

 

THE MANWOMAN

 

The Holy Grail is held in that archetype which is called the ManWoman, The Individual and Personal God, the merged masculine and feminine principle.

 

 

ONE GRAPHIC EXPRESSION OF THE MANWOMAN

 

There are many ways of illustrating the Holy Grail, the ManWoman and other areas of the total consciousness through various graphs and symbols.


Below, the ManWoman is portrayed by the help of two graphs.

 

One symbolizes the merged man and woman, and the other the ManWoman’s archetype.

 

 

THE INDIVIDUAL AND PERSONAL GOD: THE MANWOMAN

 

 

 

 

 THE UNIVERSAL AND IMPERSONAL GOD: THE ARCHETYPE OF THE MANWOMAN

 

 


 

Contents part 2

 

The first graph shows the ManWoman resting in the rainbow-colored Cosmic Egg.

In Reality, the colors change in the oval openings, each in their way, in all the shades of the rainbow, and thus show a continuously changing picture.

The egg rests in the blue cosmic seed, which consists of the radiation of The Cosmic Eggs.

The graph consists of one oval and four small circles - two each for the masculine and feminine principles - plus the two major circles called the Spirit-circles of the masculine and the feminine in the form of their individuality.

The Spirit-circles hold the complete experiences of each of them from the beginning of time to the end.

The various other parts and forms in the graph are various areas of consciousness.

The black areas represent God the Father and God the Son - the invisible unmanifest, and the white areas represent Goddess the Mother and Goddess the Daughter - the visible unmanifest.

The black fish represents God the Father and the black eyes God the Son, and the mutual black color illustrates that the Father and the Son are one.

Goddess the Mother is illustrated by the white fish and Goddess the Daughter by the white eyes, and the mutual white color illustrates that the Mother and the Daughter are one.

Two of the fish are separated, and this shows the Individuality, which holds the cold.

The other two are merged, and this shows the Fellowship, which holds the warmth.

In the two merged fish, there is an area that shows the Absolute heart, which consists of a white and a black area illustrating the Individuality and a gray area illustrating the Fellowship.

The gray area is the Holy Grail.

The two graphs below accentuate the Absolute Heart and the Holy Grail by depicting them in purple color.

 

 

THE ABSOLUTE HEART

 

 

 

 

THE HOLY GRAIL

 

 

 

 

 CREATIONMANIFESTATION

 

Before creationmanifestation, all the MenWomen were resting each in their individual Cosmic Eggs, every one of them containing a couple merged in perfect and blissful love for eternities’ eternity, seen through an Earthly scale, until, in two of the MenWomen, a desire arose to see Their beloved in a new perspective, and the two merged MenWomen turned around Their own axis in each their cosmic egg for this purpose and had thus set into movement.

This movement made the Cosmic Seed, which consists of the blissful radiations of love from the yoke of the Cosmic Egg, which is the Holy Grail penetrate the eggs, and thus radiation became irradiation.

As a result, a new life came into being by the two MenWomen projecting out into the Cosmic Seed a mirror image of themselves split in four out into the cosmic seed.

The MenWomen’s projection were each split into the masculine principle God the Father and God the Son, who are one and the feminine principle Goddess the Mother and Goddess the Daughter, who are one, and the two lovers were a mirror image of each other, and this nuclear fission is often popularly referred to as ‘The Big Bang’.

God the Father and God the Son is the Spirit of the Soul, and Goddess the Mother and Goddess the Daughter is the Soul of the Spirit.

The Soul is the first mortal body of the individual and personal Spirit and is like a thin film of crystallized Spirit around the free Spirit inside the form, but both masculine and the feminine Soul have a free individual and personal Spirit inside the form of their Soul, and thus they continue their eternal being together, because God the Father and God the Son are enveloped by Goddess the Mother and Goddess the Daughter and Goddess the Mother and Goddess the Daughter holds God the Father and God the Son within her.
 
The first two individual MenWomen’s projection into matter consisted in two pairs that had decided to manifest together, and so they became Quadruplets at the Soul Level, and as a result these two couples formed the basic matrix, the blueprint of the createdmanifested Universe – the North, the South, the East and the West.

Four is thus the first positive power factor in creationmanifestation as the cosmic Quadruplets were the first visible manifestation.

 

Contents part 2

 

THE COSMIC TWINS AND THE COSMIC QUADRUPLETS ON THE SOUL PLANE

 

The projection of the first two MenWomen pulled a wave in Their wake of other Menwomen who had the same desire, and this wave pulled yet another wave, until all those Menwomen who had set into movement had poured out a projection of themselves.
 
However, the projecting of two couples forming Quadruplets at Soul level were rare.   
 
Most projected themselves as Twins, and also very few projected themselves as Triplets, Quintuplets etc.

The plane of existence in which their projections lived their life on is called the seventh dimension, the Divine plane, Paradise, the Garden of Eden, Heaven, the Soul plane or the plane of love, care, compassion and mercy and it is this plane that has coined the word Soul Mates for those beings, who are lying in the same egg on the Soul Level, because even if heshe has been split in two, a ‘he’ and a ‘she’, they do still however, find themselves in the same cosmic egg.

 

Below is a graph showing the most common formation of Soul Mates createdmanifested by one individual ManWoman, and it is called the Cosmic Twins on the Soul plane l and it illustrates the two Soul Mates, the ManWoman split into two – a man and a woman, who are also called God the Father and God the Son as the united masculine consciousness on the Soul plane and Goddess the Mother and Goddess the Daughter as the united feminine consciousness on the Soul plane by humankind

 
Following this is a graph illustrating the archetype of The Cosmic Twins.
 
Below these are two more graphs called the Cosmic Quadruplets on the Soul Level that illustrates the first creationmanifestation createdmanifested by the first two MenWomen that stepped into matter into a particularly designed cosmic egg for Quadruplets, followed by a graph illustrating the archetype of all the Menwomen, who manifested as Quadruplets

.

 

GOD THE FATHER AND GODDESS THE MOTHER:
(FOR
THE COSMIC TWINS AT SOUL LEVEL):
 

 

 

 

THE ARCHETYPE OF THE COSMIC TWINS AT SOUL LEVEL

 

 

 

 

  GOD THE FATHER AND GODDESS THE MOTHER AT SOUL LEVEL:
(THE COSMIC QUADRUPLETS IN FOUR DIRECTIONS)

 

 

  GOD THE FATHER AND GODDESS THE MOTHER AT SOUL LEVEL ARCHETYPE:
(THE COSMIC QUADRUPLETS IN FOUR DIRECTIONS)

 

  GOD THE FATHER AND GODDESS THE MOTHER AT SOUL LEVEL ARCHETYPE:
(THE COSMIC QUADRUPLETS IN FOUR DIRECTIONS)

 

 

GOD THE FATHER AND GODDESS THE MOTHER AT SOUL LEVEL 2:
(THE COSMIC QUADRUPLETS IN FOUR DIRECTIONS)

 

 

 

 GOD THE FATHER AND GODDESS THE MOTHER AT SOUL LEVEL ARCHETYPE 2:
(THE COSMIC QUADRUPLETS IN FOUR DIRECTIONS)

 

 


 
Contents part 2

 

THE BUDDHA AND THE TARA

 

At some point in time, a desire arose in the Souls to see each other in more particular perspectives, and the Cosmic Seed penetrated the Egg again, and the Souls projected the split mirror image of themselves out into the Cosmic Seed, which is the underlying field of energy of all of creationmanifestation called the Ocean of Love, and in this split, the masculine and the feminine principle were separated completely.
   
This projection is called the second projection of the individual ManWoman, which is the first projection of the Soul plane, the sixth dimension, the Buddha plane, the plane of enlightenment, the plane of ideas or the mental plane.

The feminine counterpart of the Buddha is called the Tara or the Rainbow Goddess, and therefore this graph is called the Buddha and the Tara.

 

 

THE BUDDHA AND THE TARA

 

 

 

 

THE ARCHETYPE OF THE BUDDHA AND THE TARA

 

 

 

 

THE LIFE NERVE

 

When a desire arose in the Buddha and the Tara to fertilize their ideas, the third projection of the individual ManWoman came about, which is the second projection of the Soul plane, which is the first projection of the mental plane, which is called the fifth dimension or the astral plane.


Fertility is held by the feminine principle.


Therefore, the fifth dimension is also called the feminine sphere, and it consists of the emotional movements of the masculine and the feminine.


The two graphs below illustrate the movement of the emotional in all directions and the archetype of the emotional.


This projection is called The Life Nerve because the emotional gives the direction to the movements of life.
 

 

 

THE GRAPH OF THE LIFE NERVE

 

 

 

 

THE ARCHETYPE OF THE LIFE NERVE

 

 

 

 

Contents part 2

 

PASHUPATINATH-SHIVA AND KALI-SHAKTI

 

When a desire arose to curb the emotions yet another projection took place, which is the fourth projection of the individual ManWoman, which is the third projection of the Soul plane, which is the second projection of the mental plane, which is the first projection of the astral plane.


The fourth projection createdmanifested space and time and is also called the ethereal plane.


Space is the masculine side of this being, and the archetype of space is Pashupatinath-Shiva, the destroyer, who breaks down ignorance.


The linear time is the feminine side of this being, and the archetype of the linear time is Kali-Shakti, the destroyess, who breaks down materialism.

 

 

THE SON OF MAN AND THE DAUGHTER OF MAN

 

The last graph below illustrates the son of man and the daughter of man put together, which is the fifth projection of the individual ManWoman, which is the fourth projection of the Soul plane, which is the third projection of the mental plane, which is the second projection of the astral plane, which is the first projection of the ethereal plane.

 

 

PASHUPATINATH-SHIVA AND KALI-SHAKTI GRAPH

 

  

 

THE SON AND DAUGHTER OF HUMANKIND

 

 






THE 12 STEPS OF THE TUTU DOCTRINE - THE NEW WORLD ORDER

 

1. We admitted that we were powerless over our unconditional Love - that our denial made our life unmanageable.

2. 2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could lead us to acknowledge our unconditional Love and thereby lead us to the joy without opposites, which is the happiness, we have been searching for.

3. We made a decision to unconditionally turn our will and our life over to the care our unconditional Love, as we understood It.

4. We made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.

5. We admitted our exact nature to ourselves, our unconditional Love, another human being and The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship.

6. We became entirely ready to allow our unconditional Love to transform our mistakes to wisdom.

7. We humbly asked our unconditional Love to liberate us from our mistakes.

8. We made a list of those, who had been hurt by our mistakes, beginning with ourselves and became willing to make amends to all.

9. We made direct amends to all as soon as possible, except if it would hurt us, them or others further.

10. We continued to take personal inventory and when we made mistakes, we promptly admitted it.

11. Through prayer and meditation we sought to improve our conscious contact with our unconditional Love, as we understood It, asking only for knowledge of our unconditional Love's Will for us and the power to carry that out.

12.  Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we passed on the message of recovery to others, who suffer from fear of themselves, others, the World at large, life or death, pain and illness, the devil and God, and we practiced these principles in all our affairs.

 

GAYATHRI MANTRA

 

TuTu explained that it helps in this work to use the Gayathri mantra or to use the essence of this mantra as a prayer that corresponds with the vibration the mantra holds at appropriate moments in the course of the day.


Gayathri mantra consists in the sound hrim, [pronounced: hreem] that holds the vibration, which means: "God, liberate me from this self-important seriousness," and this sound is the  root sound which comes second in the hierarchy of root sounds after the primary root sound OM
.

HRIM

 

     


TO FACILITATE ONE’S STEP WORK IN THE TUTU DOCTRINE FELLOWSHIP.

 

In order to facilitate working with and understanding concepts used in the 12 Steps of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order, it is suggested that the student familiarize himself/herself with https://acadan.org/ to make an in-depth study of one's human limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality/changeability.

After that it is suggested that the student familiarize himself/herself with Christs Anonymous - The Thirteenth Step using this link https://christsanonymous.org/ to make an in-depth study of his/her thinking mind’s, his/her Ego’s thought system and the consequences of using this as well as his/her knowing mind’s, his/her true Self’s, his/her Spirit’s thought system and the consequences of using this.

Furthermore, it is suggested that the student familiarize himself/herself with A Course In Miracles, the new using this link https://acim-ekim.org/ to study the differences between his/her thinking mind`s, his/her Ego's thought system and his/her true Self's, his/her Spirit's
thought system.

 

In The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship we introduce ourselves by saying our first name followed by our courageous admission of, who we are by saying: I am Love.

 

UPDATES

 

Updates regarding the suggestion to work with the 12 Steps of the TTDF will be uploaded as soon as possible.


ONE SUGGESTION FOR WORKING WITH THE 12 STEPS OF THE TUTU DOCTRINE - THE NEW WORLD ORDER.


STEP ONE

 

WE ADMITTED THAT WE WERE POWERLESS OVER OUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE - THAT OUR DENIAL MADE OUR LIFE UNMANAGEABLE.

Dear student of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order.

CONGRATULATIONS!

You have now begun your work with Step One!
The principle of Step One is honesty.
The Slogan of Step One is: Truth always triumphs in the end!

Read the following sections of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order and write down your understanding of and experience with or lack of experience with that section and when you have completed this assignment share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both:

The necessity of pain.

Demons

The devil and all his being and all his doings

The Sphinx

Justice

Discernment

Condemnation

Guilt and innocence

The redemption

The Powers of the destructive Rings

The Powers of the constructive Rings

The Transformation

The fear of love

The spider

Dracula

Security rather than love

Friendship

Platonic love

Karmic connections

Soulmates/Cosmic Twins

Spirit Mates

Sexual jealousy and possessiveness directed towards the future

Sexual jealousy and possessiveness directed towards the past

Sexual jealousy and possessiveness directed towards the intangible

The Tree of Love and the Tree of Hatred

The fairy-tale about the Master of the Universe


TASKS FOR STEP ONE.

1. a. What kinds of fear have I experienced in the material area/third dimension, b. how does my fear make me deny what I would love to possess in the material area, c. how does my fear make me deny giving myself what I want d. and how does my denial make my life unmanageable?

2. a. What kinds of fear have I experienced in the physical area/third dimension, b. how does my fear make me deny what I would love to possess in the physical area, c. how does my fear make me deny giving myself what I want, d. and how does my denial make my life unmanageable?

3. a. What forms of fear have I experienced in the movement/energetic/space-time area/fourth dimension, b. how does my fear make me deny what I would love to possess in the movement/energetic/space-time area, c. how does my fear make me deny giving myself what I want d. and how does my denial make my life unmanageable?

4. a. What kinds of fear have I experienced in the emotional area/fifth dimension, b. how does my fear make me deny what I would love to possess in the emotional area, c. how does my fear make me deny giving myself what I want d. and how does my denial make my life unmanageable?

5. a. What kinds of fear have I experienced in the mental/thought area/sixth dimension, b. how does my fear make me deny what I would love to possess in the mental/thought area, c. how does my fear make me deny giving myself what I want d. and how does my denial make my life unmanageable?

6. a. What kinds of fear have I experienced in the social area/seventh dimension, b. how does my fear make me deny what I would love to possess in the social area, c. how does my fear make me deny giving myself what I want d. and how does my denial make my life unmanageable?

7. a. What kinds of fear have I experienced in the spiritual area/the Absolute, b. how does my fear make me deny what I would love to possess in the spiritual area, c. how does my fear make me deny giving myself what I want d. and how does my denial make my life unmanageable?

8. I choose to describe four areas where I fear myself, and I choose to observe how I a. interact with others, f. how I think, c. feel and d. act under the influence of my fear.

9. I choose to describe four areas where I fear others, and I choose to observe how I a. interact with others, f. how I think, c. feel and d. act under the influence of my fear.

10. I choose to describe four areas where I fear the World at large, and I choose to observe how I a. interact with others, f. how I think, c. feel and d. act under the influence of my fear.

11. I choose to describe four areas where I fear life at large, and I choose to observe how I a. interact with others, f. how I think, c. feel and d. act under the influence of my fear.

12. I choose to describe four areas where I fear death/changeability at large, and I choose to observe how I a. interact with others, f. how I think, c. feel and d. act under the influence of my fear.

13. I choose to describe four areas where I fear pain, and I choose to observe how I a. interact with others, f. how I think, c. feel and d. act under the influence of my fear.

14. I choose to describe four areas where I fear illness, and I choose to observe how I a. interact with others, f. how I think, c. feel and d. act under the influence of my fear

15. I choose to describe four areas where I fear the devil, and I choose to observe how I a. interact with others, f. how I think, c. feel and d. act under the influence of my fear.

16. I choose to describe four areas where I fear God, and I choose to observe how I a. interact with others, f. how I think, c. feel and d. act under the influence of my fear.

17. I choose to describe where I have a special fear that most people I know do not experience in the same way, and I choose to observe how I a. interact with others, f. how I think, c. feel and d. act under the influence of my fear.

When you have finished this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy, or both if you have both.

ONE WEEK TASK

On day 1 of my one week task, I choose to describe a situation from the day when my material possessions were dominated by a. my fear’s thoughts, b. the resulting emotions of my fear’s thoughts c. the actions that my emotions bring forth, d. how that made me deny what I would love to experience in my material life, e. and how that made my life unmanageable.

On day 2 of my one week task, I choose to describe a situation from the day when my physical life was dominated by a. my fear’s thoughts, b. the resulting emotions of my fear’s thoughts c. the actions that my emotions bring forth, d. how that made me deny what I would love to experience in my physical life, e. and how that made my life unmanageable.

On day 3 of my one week task, I choose to describe a situation from the day when my energy/movements through space over time were dominated by a. my fear’s thoughts, b. the resulting emotions of my fear’s thoughts c. the actions that my emotions bring forth, d. how that made me deny what I would love to experience in my energy life, e. and how that made my life unmanageable.

On day 4 of my one week task, I choose to describe a situation from the day when my emotions were dominated by a. my fear’s thoughts, b. the resulting emotions of my fear’s thoughts c. the actions that my emotions bring forth, d. how that made me deny what I would love to experience in my emotional life, e. and how that made my life unmanageable.

On day 5 of my one week task, I choose to describe a situation from the day when a stream of thoughts was dominated by a. my fear’s thoughts, b. the resulting emotions of my fear’s thoughts c. the actions that my emotions bring forth, d. how that made me deny what I would love to experience in my thought life, e. and how that made my life unmanageable.

On day 6 of my one week task, I choose to describe a situation from the day in which an interaction with another/others was dominated by a. my fear’s thoughts, b. the resulting emotions of my fear’s thoughts c. the actions that my emotions bring forth, d. how that made me deny what I would love to experience with the other/others, e. and how that made my life unmanageable.

On day 7 of my one week task, I choose to describe a situation from the day when a spiritual or intuitive experience was dominated by a. my fear’s thoughts, b. the resulting emotions of my fear’s thoughts c. the actions that my emotions bring forth, d. how that made me deny what I would love to experience in my spiritual life, e. and how that made my life unmanageable.

When you have finished this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy, or both if you have both.

SYNOPSIS

Write a synopsis about what you think has been the benefit of carrying out the work with Step One, because a synopsis can facilitate sharing it with your sponsor, your recovery buddy or both, if you have both and it will also facilitate your work in your Fifth, Tenth and Twelfth Step.

 

STEP TWO

 

WE CAME TO BELIEVE THAT A POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES COULD LEAD US TO ACKNOWLEDGE OUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND THUS TO THE JOY WITHOUT OPPOSITES, WHICH IS THE HAPPINESS WE HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR.

Dear student of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order.

CONGRATULATIONS!

You have now begun your work with Step Two!
The principle of Step Two is open-mindedness.
The Slogan of Step Two is: To listen attentively and respectfully to another is the first expression of emotional sobriety!

Love and hugs from us to you!

Read the following sections in The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order and write down your understanding of and experience with or lack of experience with that section and when you have finished this task share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both:

Our Multidimensional Being

The path to individual and personal Self-realization

The path to the universal and individual Self-realization

The four weddings

The mutual body of the man and the woman

To become like children anew

That human being who lives alone

One graphic expression of the ManWoman

The individual and personal God

The universal and impersonal God

The Absolute Heart

The Holy Grail

CreationManifestation

The Fairy-tale about the Love without limits


TASKS FOR STEP TWO.

1. I choose to describe how I will achieve to come to believe that my unconditional Love is completely and unconditionally ready to give me anything I would love to possess in the material area of the third dimension.

2. I choose to describe how I will achieve to come to believe that my unconditional Love is completely and unconditionally ready to give me anything I would love to possess in the physical area of the third dimension.

3. I choose to describe how I will achieve to come to believe that my unconditional Love is completely and unconditionally ready to give me anything I would love to possess in the movement/energetic/space-time area of the fourth dimension..

4. I choose to describe how I will achieve to come to believe that my unconditional Love is completely and unconditionally ready to give me anything I would love to possess in the emotional area of the fifth dimension.

5. I choose to describe how I will achieve to come to believe that my unconditional Love is completely and unconditionally ready to give me anything I would love to possess in in the mental/thought area of the sixth dimension.

6. I choose to describe how I will achieve to come to believe that my unconditional Love is completely and unconditionally ready to give me anything I would love to possess in in the social area of the seventh dimension.

7. I choose to describe how I will achieve to come to believe that my unconditional Love is completely and unconditionally ready to give me anything I would love to possess in the spiritual area of the eighth dimension/the Absolute.

8. I choose to describe how I will achieve to come to believe that the unconditionally loving, caring, compassionate and merciful intention of my unconditional Love is found behind the four areas where I fear myself as a human being, and how I will act on my decision.

9. I choose to describe how I will achieve to come to believe that the unconditionally loving, caring, compassionate and merciful intention of my unconditional Love is found behind the four areas where I fear others as human beings, and how I will act on my decision.

10. I choose to describe how I will achieve to come to believe that the unconditionally loving, caring, compassionate and merciful intention of my unconditional Love is found behind the four areas where I fear the human World at large, and how I will act on my decision.

11. I choose to describe how I will achieve to come to believe that the unconditionally loving, caring, compassionate and merciful intention of my unconditional Love is found behind the four areas where I fear life as a human being, and how I will act on my decision.

12. I choose to describe how I will achieve to come to believe that the unconditionally loving, caring, compassionate and merciful intention of my unconditional Love is found behind the four areas where I fear of death/changeability as a human being, and how I will act on  my decision.

15. I choose to describe how I will achieve to come to believe that the unconditionally loving, caring, compassionate and merciful intention of my unconditional Love exists behind areas where I have a special fear that most people I know do not experience in the same way, and what do I think, this intention could be.

When you have finished this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both.

ONE WEEK TASK

Every day for one week I write down minimum one example from the day about how I came to believe that my Love was completely ready to unconditionally give me whatever I would love to possess materially, physically, movement wise/energetically/space-time wise, emotionally, mentally/thought wise, socially or spiritually on this day.

When you have finished this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both.

SYNOPSIS

Write a synopsis about what you think has been the benefit of carrying out the work with Step Two, because a synopsis can facilitate sharing it with your sponsor, your recovery buddy or both, if you have both and it will also facilitate your work in your Fifth, Tenth and Twelfth Step.

 

 

STEP THREE

 

WE MADE A DECISION TO UNCONDITIONALLY TURN OUR WILL AND OUR LIFE OVER TO THE CARE OF OUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, AS WE UNDERSTOOD IT.

 

Dear student of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order.

 

CONGRATULATIONS!

 

You have now begun your work with Step Three!

The principle of Step Three is unconditional surrender.

The Third Step Slogan is: Follow your heart.

 

Love and hugs from us to you!

 

Read the following sections in The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order and write down your understanding of and experience with or lack of experience with that section and when you have finished this task share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both:

 

Hinduistic archetypes

 

The fairy-tale of the Gods and Goddesses who walk on the Earth

 

 

TASKS FOR STEP THREE.

 

1. I choose to describe how I will surrender unconditionally to my Love by giving myself that, which I would love to possess in the material area of the third dimension, and how I will act on my decision.

 

2. I choose to describe how I will surrender unconditionally to my Love by giving myself that, which I would love to possess in the physical area of the third dimension, and how I will act on my decision.

 

3. I choose to describe how I will surrender unconditionally to my Love by giving myself that, which I would love to possess in the movement/energetic/space-time area of the fourth dimension, and how I will act on my decision.

 

4. I choose to describe how I will surrender unconditionally to my Love by giving myself that, which I would love to possess in the emotional area of the fifth dimension, and how I will act on my decision.

 

5. I choose to describe how I will surrender unconditionally to my Love by giving myself that, which I would love to possess in in the mental/thought area of the sixth dimension, and how I will act on my decision.

 

6. I choose to describe how I will surrender unconditionally to my Love by giving myself that, which I would love to possess in in the social area of the seventh dimension, and how I will act on my decision.

 

7.  I choose to describe how I will surrender unconditionally to my Love by giving myself that, which I would love to possess in the spiritual area of the eighth dimension/the Absolute, and how I will act on my decision.

 

8. I choose to describe how I will surrender unconditionally to that, which I chose to believe in being the unconditionally caring, compassionate and merciful intention of my Love that is found behind the four areas where I fear myself as a human being, and how I will act on my decision.

 

9. I choose to describe how I will surrender unconditionally to that, which I chose to believe in being the unconditionally caring, compassionate and merciful intention of my Love that is found behind the four areas where I fear others as human beings, and how I will act on my decision.

 

10 . I choose to describe how I will surrender unconditionally to that, which I chose to believe in being the unconditionally caring, compassionate and merciful intention of my Love that is found behind the four areas where I fear the human World at large, and how I will act on my decision.

 

11. I choose to describe how I will surrender unconditionally to that, which I chose to believe in being the unconditionally caring, compassionate and merciful intention of my Love that is found behind the four areas where I fear life as a human being, and how I will act on my decision.

 

12. I choose to describe how I will surrender unconditionally to that, which I chose to believe in being the unconditionally caring, compassionate and merciful intention of my Love that is found behind the four areas where I fear death/changeability as a human being, and how I will act on my decision.

 

13. I choose to describe how I will surrender unconditionally to that, which I chose to believe in being the unconditionally caring, compassionate and merciful intention of my Love that is found behind areas where I have a special fear that most people I know do not experience in the same way, and how I will act on my decision.


When you have finished this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both.

ONE WEEK TASK

Every day for one week I write down at least one example from the day of how I surrendered unconditionally to the care, compassion and mercy of my Love by giving myself that, which I would love to possess materially, physically, movement wise/energetically/space-time wise, emotionally, mentally/thought wise, socially or spiritually on this day.

When you  have finished this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both.

 

SYNOPSIS

 

Write a synopsis about what you think has been the benefit of carrying out the work with Step Three, because a synopsis can facilitate sharing it with your sponsor, your recovery buddy or both, if you have both and it will also facilitate your work in your Fifth, Tenth and Twelfth Step.

 

STEP FOUR

 

WE MADE A SEARCHING AND FEARLESS INVENTORY OF OURSELVES.

 

Dear student of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order.

 

CONGRATULATIONS!

 

You have now begun your work on Step Four!

The principle of Step Four is courage.

The Fourth Step Slogan is: I accept both my virtues and my defects of character.

 

Love and hugs from us to you!

 

Read the following sections in The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order and write down your understanding of and experience with or lack of experience with that section and when you have finished this task share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both:

 

States of Consciousness

 

The Rings of social interactions

 

The Ring of Emptiness and the Ring of Fulfillment

 

The Realms of Consciousness in the third dimension

 

Survival of the fittest

 

The human rights

 

The fall of materialism          

 

The devil and all his being and all his doings

 

The Sphinx

 

Justice

 

Discernment

 

Condemnation


Guilt and innocence

The redemption

 

The powers of the destructive Rings

 

The powers of the constructive Rings

 

The transformation

 

The destructive Rings

 

The Rings of pain

 

The global Ring of pain.

 

The Small Ring of Pain of the North

 

The Small Ring of Pain of the South

 

The Small Ring of Pain of the East

 

The Small Ring of Pain of the West

 

The fairy-tale about good and evil

 

TASKS FOR STEP FOUR.

 

1. I choose to describe minimum one situation from my life up till now where I felt hurt, because I did not get what I would love to possess in the material area, and I describe the Ring that matches my painful thoughts and emotions by describing where my chosen Ring's four attributes fit into the situation.

                                                                                                                 

2. I choose to describe minimum one situation from my life up till now where I felt hurt, because I did not get what I would love to possess in the physical area, and I describe the Ring that matches my painful thoughts and emotions by describing where my chosen Ring's four attributes fit into the situation.

 

3. I choose to describe minimum one situation from my life up till now where I felt hurt, because I did not get what I would love to possess in the movement/energetic/space-time area, and I describe the Ring, that fits my painful thoughts and emotions by describing where the four attributes of my chosen Ring fit into the situation.

 

4. I choose to describe minimum one situation from my life up till now where I felt hurt that I didn't get what I would love to possess in the emotional area, and I describe the Ring that matches my painful thoughts and emotions by describing where my chosen Ring's four attributes fit into the situation.

 

5. I choose to describe minimum one situation from my life up till now where I felt hurt, because I did not get what I would love to possess in the mental/thought realm and I describe the Ring that fits my painful thoughts and emotions by describing where my chosen Ring's four attributes fit into the situation.

 

6. I choose to describe minimum one situation from my life up till now where I felt hurt that I didn't get what I would love to possess in the social area, and I describe the Ring that matches my painful thoughts and emotions by describing where my chosen Ring's four attributes fit into the situation.

 

7 I choose to describe minimum one situation from my life until now where I felt hurt, because I did not get what I would love to possess in the spiritual area, and I describe the Ring that fits my painful thoughts and emotions by describing where my chosen Ring's four attributes fit into the situation.

 

8. I choose to describe minimum one situation from my life until now where I felt hurt, because I was not helped to recover from my fear of myself as a person, and I describe the Ring that fits my painful thoughts and emotions by describing where my chosen Ring's four attributes fit into the situation.

 

9. I choose to describe minimum one situation from my life up till now where I felt hurt, because I was not helped to recover from my fear of others as human beings, and I describe the Ring that fits my painful thoughts and emotions by describing where the four characteristics of my chosen Ring fit into the situation.

 

10. I choose to describe minimum one situation from my life up till now where I felt hurt, because I was not helped to recover from my fear of the human World at large, and I describe the Ring that fits my painful thoughts and emotions by describing where the four characteristics of my chosen Ring fit into the situation

 

11. I choose to describe minimum one situation from my life until now where I felt hurt, because I was not helped to recover from my fear of life as a human being, and I describe the Ring that fits my painful thoughts and emotions by describing where the four characteristics of my chosen Ring fit into the situation.

 

12. I choose to describe minimum one situation from my life up till now where I felt hurt, because I was not helped to recover from my fear of death/changeability as a human, and I describe the Ring that fits my painful thoughts and emotions by describing where the four characteristics of my chosen Ring fit into the situation.

 

13. I choose to describe minimum one situation from my life until now where I felt hurt, because I was not helped to recover from a special fear that most people I know do not experience in the same way, and I describes the Ring that fits my painful thoughts and emotions by describing where the four characteristics of my chosen Ring fit into the situation.

 

When you finish this task, share it with your sponsor or your healing partner, or both if you have both.

 

ONE WEEK TASK

 

Every day for one week, I write down a situation where I experienced one of  fear’s emotional pains, and I describe the Ring that fits my painful thoughts and emotions by describing where the four characteristics of my chosen Ring fit into the situation.

 

When you have finished this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy, or both if you have both.

 

SYNOPSIS

 

Write a synopsis about what you think has been the benefit of carrying out the work with Step Four, because a synopsis can facilitate sharing it with your sponsor, your recovery buddy or both, if you have both and it will also facilitate your work in your Fifth, Tenth and Twelfth Step.

 

 

STEP FIVE

 

WE ADMITTED OUR EXACT NATURE TO OURSELVES, OUR UNCONDITONAL LOVE, ANOTHER HUMAN BEING AND THE TUTU DOCTRINE FELLOWSHIP.

Dear student of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order.

CONGRATULATIONS!

You have now begun your work with Step Five!
The principle of Step Five is humility.
The Fifth Step Slogan is: Any creaturemanifestation is neither superior nor inferior to me.

 

Love and hugs from us to you!

 

Read the following sections in The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order and write down your understanding of and experience with or lack of experience with that section and when you have finished this task share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both :

 

The Seed of Love

 

The Fertilized Egg

 

The fruit

 

TASKS FOR STEP FIVE.

 

ONE WEEK TASK

 

Every day for a week I write down how I chose .

 

When you finish this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both.

 

SYNOPSIS

 

Write a synopsis about what you think has been the benefit of carrying out the work with Step Five, because a synopsis can facilitate sharing it with your sponsor, your recovery buddy or both, if you have both and it will also facilitate your work in your Tenth and Twelfth Step.

 

 

STEP SIX

 

WE BECAME ENTIRELY READY TO ALLOW OUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TO TRANSFORM OUR MISTAKES TO WISDOM.

 

Dear student of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order.

 

CONGRATULATIONS!

 

You have now begun your work with Step Six! The principle of Step Six is transformation.

The Sixth Step Slogan is: I own my hurts.

 

Love and hugs from us to you!

 

Read the following sections in The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order and write down your understanding of and experience with or lack of experience with that section and when you have finished this task share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both :


The Guilt and innocence

The Hierarchy of the Archetypal Rings

The Ring of Emptiness and the Ring of Fulfillment

The Ring of Self-centeredness and the Ring of God-centeredness

The Ring of Codependency and the Ring of Emotional Sobriety

The Big Ring of Pain and the Big Ring of Joy

The Big and the Small Rings of Pain

The Big and the Small Rings of Joy

The Big, The Small, the Mini, the Micro and the Nanorings of Pain

The Big, The Small, the Mini, the Micro and the Nanorings of Joy

Table for the Big, Small, Mini, Micro and Nanorings of Pain and their Superstrings.

Table for the Big, Small, Mini, Micro and Nanorings of Joy and their Superstrings.

The Constructive Rings

The Global Ring of Joy

The Small Ring of Joy of the North

The Small Ring of Joy of the South

The Small Ring of Joy of the East


The Small Ring of Joy of the West


The Seed of Love

 

The Fertilized Egg

 

The fruit


TASKS FOR STEP SIX.


I can choose to use the tables below to pair a Ring or a Superstring of Pain a with the corresponding Ring or Superstring of Joy to contribute to the growth of my Buddha/wisdom if I am male, or Tara/wisdom if I am female, or I can choose another format that I like better if I wish.

These tables are taken from the book 'Suggestions for working with the Destructive and the Constructive Rings' that are available on our website for free reading or download, and if I need to go in depth with a set of Rings or Superstrings, I  choose to use the entire transformation process for the set of Rings or Superstrings I are working with as described in that book.

In Step Six, however, I simply choose to work with a set of Rings or Superstrings from the list of the 76 transformation suggestions until I have used them all at least once, and then I share the results of this work with my sponsor or my recovery buddy, or both if I have both.


AppendixA

1. From Absence of my true Self, my Spirit

Ego to Spirit

North

South

East

West

Absence of Spirit

Unloving

Uncaring

Hardhearted

Merciless

Presence of Spirit

Loving

Caring

Compassonate

Merciful

2. From Addiction to Dissatisfaction with my form-identities to Contentment

 

Dissatisfaction to Contentment

North

South

East

West

Dissatisfaction with form identity

Limitation

Ignorance

Powerlessness

Mortality

Contentment with form identity

Limitation

Ignorance

Powerlessness

Mortality

Appendix B

From the Big Rings of Pain to the Big Rings of Joy

 

03. From the Ring of Emptiness to the Ring of Fulfillment

 

Emptiness to the Fulfillment

North

South

East

West

Ring of Emptiness

Emptiness

Boredom

Meaninglessness

Loneliness

Ring of Fulfillment

Fulfillment

Interest

Meaningfulness

Oneness

04. From the Ring of Self-centeredness to the Ring of God-centeredness.

 

Selfcentered to Godcentered

North

South

East

West

Ring of Selfcenteredness

Euphoria

Depression

Self-criticism

Self-praise

Ring of Godcenteredness

Joy

Empowerment

Openmindedness

Gratitude

05. From the Ring of Co-dependency to the Ring of Emotional Sobriety

Codependent to Sobriety

North

South

East

West

Co-dependency

Savior Role

Seducer Role

Victim Role

Offender Role

Emotional Sobriety

Detachment

Integrity

Respect of Self

Respect of others



 
06. From the Big Ring of Pain to the Big Ring of Joy

Smerte to the Joy

North

South

East

West

Store Smertering

Avarice

Hope

Hatred

Arrogance

Store Joysring

Faith

Hope

Love

Truth

07. From the Small Ring of Avarice to the Small Ring of Faith

 

Avarice to Faith

North

South

East

West

Small Ring of Avarice

Stinginess

Greed

Poverty

Gluttony

Small Ring of Faith

Generosity

Trust

Prosperity

Accountability

08. From the Miniring of Avarice to the Miniring of of Faith.

Avarice to the Faith

North

South

East

West

Miniring of Avarice

Pettiness

Clinging

Malaise

Hoarding

Miniring of Faith

Largesse

Letting go

Well-being

Sharing

09. From the Microring of Avarice to the Microring of Faith.

Avarice to the Faith

North

South

East

West

Avarice Microring of

Selfishness

Hardness

Unfreedom

Negligence

Microring of Faith

Consideration

Ease

Action-freedom

Contributing

10. From the Nanoring of Avarice to the Nanoring of Faith

Avarice to the Faith

North

South

East

West

Nanoring of Avarice

Inhibition

Nervousness

Complaining

Indifference

Nanoring of Faith

Approachability

Lightheartedness

Validation

Involvement

11. From the Small Ring of Envy to the Small Ring of Hope

 

Envy to the Hope

North

South

East

West

Small Ring of Envy

Disbelief

Superstition

Submission

Defiance

Small Ring of Hope

Credence

Information

Discernment

Serenity

12. From the Miniring of Envy to the Miniring of Hope

 

Envy to the Hope

North

South

East

West

Miniring of Envy

Insecurity

Confusion

Unclarity

Wretchedness

Miniring of Hope

Safety

Well-informedness

Clarity

Nobleness

13. From the Microring of Envy to the Microring of Hope

Envy to the Hope

North

South

East

West

Microring of Envy

Denigration

Insusceptibility

Narrowmindedness

Unworthiness

Microring of Hope

Appreciation

Teachableness

Openness

Worthiness




14. From the Nanoring of Envy to the Nanoring of Hope.

Envy to the Hope

North

South

East

West

Nanoring of Envy

Uncertainty

Uncultivatedness

Indecision

Rashness

Nanoring of Hope

Sikkerhed

Dannethed

Beslutsomhed

Levelheadedness

15. From the Small Ring of Hatred/suppressed anger to the Small Ring of Love.

Hatred to Love

North

South

East

West

Small Ring of Hatred

Denial

Manipulation

Disease

Madness

Small Ring of Love

Admitting

Selv-acceptance

Health

Sanity

16. From the Miniring of Hatred/suppressed anger to the Miniring of Love.

Hatred to Love

North

South

East

West

Miniring of Hatred

Ill will

Unkindness

Irritation

Impatience

Miniring of Love

Goodwill

Kindness

Calmness

Patience

17. From the Microring of Hatred/suppressed anger to the Microring of Love.

Hatred to Love

North

South

East

West

Microring of Hatred

Indignation

Vindictiveness

Belligerence

Bitterness

Microring of Love

Mercy

Forgiveness

Conciliatory

Sweetness

18. From the Nanoring of Hatred/suppressed anger to the Nanoring of Love

Hatred to Love

North

South

East

West

Nanoring of Hatred

Resentment

Unwillingness

Vociferousness

Stiff-neckedness

Nanoring of Love

Acceptance

Willingness

Quietness

Flexibility

19. From the Small Ring of Arrogance to the Small Ring of Truth.

Arrogance to Truth

North

South

East

West

Small Ring of Arrogance

Superiority

Inferiority

Overcrowding

Isolation

Small Ring of Truth

Humility

Honesty

Individuality

Fellowship

20. From the Miniring of Arrogance to the Miniring of Truth

 

Arrogance to Truth

North

South

East

West

Miniring of Arrogance

Condescension

Intolerance

Exaggeration

Seclusion

Miniring of Truth

Equality

Tolerance

Accuracy

Belongingness

21. From the Microring of Arrogance to the Microring of Truth

 

Arrogance to Truth

North

South

East

West

Microring of Arrogance

Disrespect

Craftiness

Distortion

Separateness

Microring of Truth

Respectfulness

Straightforwardness

Precision

Togetherness

22. From the Nanoring Arrogance of to the Nanoring of Truth

 

Arrogance to Truth

North

South

East

West

Nanoring of Arrogance

Insincerity

Cunning

Unreliability

Alienation

Nanoring of Truth

Sincerity

Simplicity

Reliability

Familiarity

 

Appendix C

 

 23. From the Northern Vertical Superstring of Avarice to the Northern Vertical Superstring of Faith.

From NVSA to NVSF

North

South

East

West

Avarice NVS

Stinginess

Pettiness

Selfishness

Inhibition

Faith NVS

Generosity

Largesse

Consideration

Approachability

24. From the Southern Vertical Superstring of Avarice to the Southern Vertical Superstring of Faith.

 

From SVSA to SVSF

North

South

East

West

Avarice SVS

Greed

Clinging

Hardness

Nervousness

Faith SVS

Trust

Letting go

Ease

Lightheartedness

25. From the Eastern Vertical Superstring of Avarice to the Eastern Vertical Superstring of Faith.

From EVSA to EVSF

North

South

East

West

Avarice EVS

Pettiness

Clinging

Uto thepashed

Hoarding

Faithen EVS

Largesse

Letting go

Well-being

Sharing

26. From the Western Vertical Superstring of Avarice to the Western Vertical Superstring of Faith.

From WVSA to WVSF

North

South

East

West

Avarice WVS

Gluttony

Hoarding

Negligence

Indifference

Faith WVS

Accountability

Sharing

Contributing

Involvement

27. From the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of Avarice to the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of Faith.

From NDDSA to NDDSF

North

South

East

West

Avarice NDDS

Stinginess

Clinging

Unfreedom

Indifference

Faith NDDS

Generosity

Letting go

Action-freedom

Involvement

28. From the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of Avarice to the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of Faith.

 

From the NUDSA
 to the NUDSF

North

South

East

West

Avarice NUDS

Inhibition

Hardness

Malaise

Gluttony

Faith NUDS

Approachability

Ease

Well-being

Accountability

29. From the Northern Vertical Superstring of Envy to the Northern Vertical Superstring of Hope.

 

From the NVSE to NVSH

North

South

East

West

Envy NVS

Disbelief

Insecurity

Denigration

Uncertainty

Hope NVS

Credence

Safety

Appreciation

Sikkerhed

30. From the Southern Vertical Superstring of Envy to the Southern Vertical Superstring of Hope.

From the SVSE to the SVSH

North

South

East

West

Envy SVS

Superstition

Confusion

Insusceptibility

Uncultivatedness

Hope SVS

Information

Well-informedness

Teachableness

Dannethed

 

31. From the Eastern Vertical Superstring of Envy to the Eastern Vertical Superstring of Hope.

From the EVSE to EVSH

North

South

East

West

Envy EVS

Submission

Unclarity

Narrowmindedness

Indecision

Hope EVS

Discernment

Clarity

Openness

Beslutsomhed


32. From the Western Vertical Superstring of Envy to the Western Vertical Superstring of Hope.

From WVSE to WVSH

North

South

East

West

Envy WVS

Faith

Wretchedness

Unworthiness

Rashness

Hope WVS

Serenity

Nobleness

Worthiness

Levelheadedness

33. From the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of Envy to the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of Hope.

From the NDDSE

 to NDDSH

North

South

East

West

Envy NDDS

Disbelief

Confusion

Narrowmindedness

Rashness

Hope NDDS

Credence

Well-informedness

Openness

Levelheadedness



34. From the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of Envy to the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of Hope.

From NUDSE to NUDSH

North

South

East

West

Envy NUDS

Uncertainty

Insusceptibility

Unclarity

Faith

Hope NOS

Sikkerhed

Teachableness

Clarity

Serenity

35. From the Northern Vertical Superstring of Hatred/Suppressed Anger to the Northern Vertical Superstring of Love.

From NVSH to NVSL

North

South

East

West

Hatred NVS

Denial

Ill will

Indignation

Resentment

Love NVS

Admitting

Goodwill

Mercy

Acceptance

36. From the Southern Vertical Superstring of Hatred/Suppressed Anger to the Southern Vertical Superstring of Love.

From the SVSH to SVSL

North

South

East

West

Hatred SVS

Manipulation

Unkindness

Vindictiveness

Unwillingness

Love SVS

Selv-acceptance

Kindness

Forgiveness

Willingness

37. From the Eastern Vertical Superstring of Hatred/Suppressed Anger to the Eastern Vertical Superstring of Love.

From the EVSH to EVSH

North

South

East

West

Hatred EVS

Disease

Irritation

Belligerence

Vociferousness

Love EVS

Health

Calmness

Conciliatory

Quietness

38. From the Western Vertical Superstring of Hatred/Suppressed Anger to the Western Vertical Superstring of Love.

From the WVSH to  WVSL

North

South

East

West

Hatred WVS

Madness

Impatience

Bitterness

Stiff-neckedness

Love WVS

Sanity

Patience

Sweetness

Flexibility


39. From the
Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of Hatred/Suppressed Anger to the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of Love.


From NDDSH to NDDSL

North

South

East

West

Hatred NDDS

Denial

Unkindness

Belligerence

Stiff-neckedness

Love NDDS

Admitting

Kindness

Conciliatory

Flexibility


40. From the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of Hatred/Suppressed Anger to the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of Love.

From NUDSH to the NUDSL

North

South

East

West

Hatred NUDS

Resentment

Vindictiveness

Irritation

Madness

Love NUDS

Acceptance

Forgiveness

Calmness

Sanity

41. From the Northern Vertical Superstring of Arrogance to the Northern Vertical Superstring of Truth.

From the NVSA to the NVST

North

South

East

West

Arrogance NVS

Superiority

Condescension

Disrespect

Insincerity

Truth NVS

Humility

Equality

Respectfulness

Sincerity

42. From the Southern Vertical Superstring of Arrogance to the Southern Vertical Superstring of Truth.

 

From SVSA to the SVST

North

South

East

West

Arrogance SVS

Inferiority

Intolerance

Craftiness

Cunning

Truth SVS

Honesty

Tolerance

Straightforwardness

Simplicity

43. From the Eastern Vertical Superstring of Arrogance to the Eastern Vertical Superstring of Truth.

 

From the EVSA to EVST

North

South

East

West

Arrogance EVS

Overcrowding

Exaggeration

Distortion

Unreliability

Truth EVS

Individuality

Accuracy

Precision

Reliability

44. From the Western Vertical Superstring of Arrogance to the Western Vertical Superstring of Truth.

 

From the WVSA to WVST

North

South

East

West

Arrogance WVS

Isolation

Seclusion

Separateness

Alienation

Truth WVS

Fellowship

Belongingness

Togetherness

Familiarity

45. From the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of Arrogance to the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of Truth.

 

From NDDSA to NDDST

North

South

East

West

Arrogance NDDS

Superiority

Intolerance

Distortion

Alienation

Truth NDDS

Humility

Tolerance

Precision

Familiarity

46. From the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of Arrogance to the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of Truth.

 

From NUDSA to the NUDST

North

South

East

West

Arrogance NUDS

Insincerity

Craftiness

Exaggeration

Isolation

Truth NUDS

Sincerity

Straightforwardness

Accuracy

Fellowship

 

Appendix D

47. From the Northern Vertical Superstring of the Big Pain Rings to the Northern Vertical Superstring of the Big Joy Rings.

 

From the NVSBP to NVSBJ

North

South

East

West

Big Painring NVS

Emptiness

Eufori

Savior Role

Avarice

Big Joyring NVS

Fulfillment

Joy

Detachment

Faith

48. From the Southern Vertical Superstring of the Big Pain Rings to the Southern Vertical Superstring of the Big Joy Rings.

 

From the SVSBP to SVSBJ

North

South

East

West

Big Painring SVS

Boredom

Depression

Seducer Role

Envy

Big Joyring SVS

Interesse

Empowerment

Integrity

Hope

49. From the Eastern Vertical Superstring of the Big Pain Rings to the Eastern Vertical Superstring of the Big Joy Rings.

 

From EVSBP to EVSBJ

North

South

East

West

Big Painring EVS

Meaninglessness

Self-criticism

Victim Role

Hatred

Big Joyring EVS

Meningsfuldhed

Openmindedness

Respect of Self

Love

50. From the Western Vertical Superstring of the Big Pain Rings to the Western Vertical Superstring of the Big Joy Rings.

 

From WVSBP to WVSBJ

North

South

East

West

Big Painring WVS

Loneliness

Self Praise

Offender Role

Arrogance

Big Joyring WVS

Oneness

Gratitude

Respect of Others

Truth

51. From the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of the Big Pain Rings to the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of the Big Joy Rings.

 

From NDDSBP to NDDSBJ

North

South

East

West

Big Painring NDDS

Emptiness

Depression

Victim Role

Arrogance

Big Joyring NDDS

Fulfillment

Empowerment

Respect of Self

Truth

52. From the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of the Big Pain Rings to the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of the Big Joy Rings.

 

From NUDSBP to NUDSBJ

North

South

East

West

Big Painring NUDS

Avarice

Seducer Role

Self-criticism

Loneliness

Big Joyring NUDS

Faith

Integrity

Openmindedness

Oneness

53. From the Northern Vertical Superstring of the Small Pain Rings to the Northern Vertikal Superstreng the Small Joy Rings.

 

NVSSP to NVSSJ

North

South

East

West

Small Painring SVS

Stinginess

Disbelief

Denial

Superiority

Small Joyring SVS

Generosity

Credence

Admitting

Humility

54. From the Southern Vertical Superstring of the Small Pain Rings to the Southern Vertikal Superstreng the Small Joy Rings.

 

SVSSP to SVSSJ

North

South

East

West

Small Painring SVS

Greed

Superstition

Manipulation

Inferiority

Small Joyring SVS

Trust

Information

Selv-acceptance

Honesty

55. From the Eastern Vertical Superstring of the Small Pain Rings to the Eastern Vertikal Superstreng the Small Joy Rings.

EVSSP to EVSSJ

North

South

East

West

Small Painring EVS

Poverty

Submission

Disease

Overcrowding

Small Joyring EVS

Prosperity

Discernment

Health

Individuality

56. From the Western Vertical Superstring of the Small Pain Rings to the Western Vertikal Superstreng the Small Joy Rings.

EVSSP to  EVSSJ

North

South

East

West

Small Painring EVS

Gluttony

Faith

Madness

Isolation

Small Joyring EVS

Accountability

Serenity

Sanity

Fellowship

57. From the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of the Small Pain Rings to the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of Small Joy Rings.

NDDSSP to  NDDSSJ

North

South

East

West

Small Painring NDDS

Stinginess

Superstition

Disease

Isolation

Small Joyring NDDS

Generosity

Information

Health

Fellowship

58. From the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of the Small Pain Rings to the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of Small Joy Rings.

 

NUDSSP to  NUDSSJ

North

South

East

West

Small Painring NUDS

Superiority

Manipulation

Submission

Gluttony

Small Joyring NUDS

Humility

Selv-acceptance

Discernment

Accountability

59. From the Northern Vertical Superstring of the Minipain Rings to the Northern Vertical Superstring of the Minijoy Rings.

NVSMPR to the  NVSMJR

North

South

East

West

Nini Painring NVS

Pettiness

Insecurity

Ill will

Condescension

Mini Joyring NVS

Largesse

Safety

Goodwill

Equality

60. From the Southern Vertical Superstring of the Minipain Rings to the Southern Vertical Superstring of the Minijoy Rings.

NVSMPR to the  NVSMJR

North

South

East

West

Nini Painring NVS

Clinging

Confusion

Unkindness

Intolerance

Mini Joyring NVS

Letting go

Well-informedness

Kindness

Tolerance

61. From the Eastern Vertical Superstring of the Minipain Rings to the Eastern Vertical Superstring of the Minijoy Rings.

NVSMPR to the  NVSMJR

North

South

East

West

Nini Painring NVS

Malaise

Unclarity

Irritation

Exaggeration

Mini Joyring NVS

Well-being

Clarity

Calmness

Accuracy

62. From the WesternVertical Superstring of the Minipain Rings to the Western Vertical Superstring of the Minijoy Rings.

NVSMPR to the  NVSMJR

North

South

East

West

Nini Painring NVS

Hoarding

Wretchedness

Impatience

Seclusion

Mini Joyring NVS

Sharing

Nobleness

Patience

Belongingness



53. From the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of the Minipain Rings to the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of the Minijoy Rings.

 

NVSMPR to the  NVSMJR

North

South

East

West

Nini Painring NVS

Pettiness

Confusion

Irritation

Seclusion

Mini Joyring NVS

Largesse

Well-informedness

Calmness

Belongingness


64. From the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of the Minipain Rings to the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of the Minijoy Rings.


NVSMPR to the  NVSMJR

North

South

East

West

Nini Painring NVS

Condescension

Unkindness

Unclarity

Hoarding

Mini Joyring NVS

Equality

Kindness

Clarity

Sharing

65. From the Northern Vertical Superstring of the Micro Painrings to the Northern Vertical Superstring of the Micro Joyrings.

NVSMP to NVSMJ

North

South

East

West

Micro Painring NVS

Selfishness

Denigration

Indignation

Disrespect

Micro Joyring NVS

Consideration

Appreciation

Mercy

Respectfulness

66. From the Southern Vertical Superstring of the Micro Painrings to the Southern Vertical Superstring of the Micro Joyrings.

NVSMP to NVSMJ

North

South

East

West

Micro Painring NVS

Hardness

Insusceptibility

Vindictiveness

Craftiness

Micro Joyring NVS

Acceptance

Teachableness

Forgiveness

Straightforwardness

67. From the Eastern Vertical Superstring of the Micro Painrings to the Eastern Vertical Superstring of the Micro Joyrings.

 

NVSMP to NVSMJ

North

South

East

West

Micro Painring NVS

Unfreedom

Narrowmindedness

Belligerence

Distortion

Micro Joyring NVS

Action-freedom

Openness

Conciliatory

Precision

 

68. From the Western Vertical Superstring of the Micro Painrings to the Western Vertical Superstring of the Micro Joyrings.

 

NVSMP to NVSMJ

North

South

East

West

Micro Painring NVS

Negligence

Unworthiness

Bitterness

Separateness

Micro Joyring NVS

Contributing

Worthiness

Sweetness

Togetherness


69.
From the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of the Micro Painrings to the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of
the Micro Joyrings.

NVSMP to NVSMJ

North

South

East

West

Micro Painring NVS

Selfishness

Insusceptibility

Belligerence

Separateness

Micro Joyring NVS

Consideration

Teachableness

Conciliatory

Togetherness

70. From the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of the Micro Painrings to the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of the Micro Joyrings.

NVSMP to NVSMJ

North

South

East

West

Micro Painring NVS

Disrespect

Vindictiveness

Narrowmindedness

Negligence

Micro Joyring NVS

Respectfulness

Forgiveness

Openness

Contributing

71 From the Northern Vertical Superstring of the Nano Painring to the Northern Vertical Superstring of the Nano Joyring.

WVSNP to  WVSNJ

North

South

East

West

Nano Painring WVS

Inhibition

Uncertainty

Resentment

Insincerity

Nano Joyring WVS

Approachability

Sikkerhed

Acceptance

Sincerity

72. From the Southern Vertical Superstring of the Nano Painring to the Southern Vertical Superstring of the Nano Joyring.

 

WVSNP to  WVSNJ

North

South

East

West

Nano Painring WVS

Nervousness

Uncultivatedness

Unwillingness

Cunning

Nano Joyring WVS

Lightheartedness

Dannethed

Willingness

Simplicity

73. From the Eastern Vertical Superstring of the Nano Painring to the Eastern Vertical Superstring of the Nano Joyring.

WVSNP to  WVSNJ

North

South

East

West

Nano Painring WVS

Complaining

Indecision

Vociferousness

Unreliability

Nano Joyring WVS

Validation

Beslutsomhed

Quietness

Reliability

74. From the Western Vertical Superstring of the Nano Painring to the Western Vertical Superstring of the Nano Joyring.

WVSNP to WVSNJ

North

South

East

West

Nano Painring WVS

Indifference

Rashness

Stiff-neckedness

Alienation

Nano Joyring WVS

Involvement

Levelheadedness

Flexibility

Familiarity


75. From the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of the Nano Painring to the Northern Downward Diagonal Superstring of the Nano Joyring

NDDSNP to NDDSNJ

North

South

East

West

Nano Painring NUDS

Inhibition

Uncultivatedness

Vociferousness

Alienation

Nano Joyring NUDS

Approachability

Dannethed

Quietness

Familiarity

76. From the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of the Nano Painring to the Northern Upward Diagonal Superstring of the Nano Joyring

NUDSNP to NUDSNJ

North

South

East

West

Nano Painring NUDSNP

Insincerity

Unwillingness

Indecision

Indifference

Nano Joyring NUDSNJ

Sincerity

Willingness

Beslutsomhed

Involvement

 


 

ONE WEEK TASK

 

Each day for a week, I write down at least one example of how I chose to take up a mental-emotional Painring or Superstring for transformation using the corresponding mental-emotional Joyring or Superstring, and I choose to describe the wisdom I gained in the transformation.

When you finish this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both

SYNOPSIS

 

Write a synopsis about what you think has been the benefit of carrying out the work with Step Six, because a synopsis can facilitate sharing it with your sponsor, your recovery buddy or both, if you have both and it will also facilitate your work in your Fifth, Tenth and Twelfth Step.

 

 

STEP SEVEN

 

WE HUMBLY ASKED OUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TO LIBERATE US FROM OUR MISTAKES.

 

Dear student of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order.

 

CONGRATULATIONS!

 

You have now begun your work with Step Seven! The principle of Step Seven is Letting Go.

The Seventh Step Slogan is: Let go and let Love.

 

Love and hugs from us to you!

 

Read the following sections in The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order and write down your understanding of and experience with or lack of experience with that section and when you have finished this task share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both :

 

TASKS FOR STEP SEVEN.

 

ONE WEEK TASK

 

Every day for a week I write down how I chose .

 

When you finish this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both.

 

SYNOPSIS

 

Write a synopsis about what you think has been the benefit of carrying out the work with Step Seven, because a synopsis can facilitate sharing it with your sponsor, your recovery buddy or both, if you have both and it will also facilitate your work in your Tenth and Twelfth Step.

 

 

STEP EIGHT

 

WE MADE A LIST OF THOSE, WHO HAD BEEN HURT BY OUR MISTAKES, BEGINNING WITH OURSELVES AND BECAME WILLING TO MAKE AMENDS TO ALL.

 

Dear student of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order.

 

CONGRATULATIONS!

 

You have now begun your work with Step Eight! The principle of Step Eight is Forgiveness.

The Eighth Step Slogan is: Forgive me my mistakes and give me the capacity to forgive those who mistake me.

 

Love and hugs from us to you!

 

Read the following sections in The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order and write down your understanding of and experience with or lack of experience with that section and when you have finished this task share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both :

TASKS FOR STEP EIGHT.

 

ONE WEEK TASK

 

Every day for a week I write down how I chose .

 

When you finish this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both.

 

SYNOPSIS

 

Write a synopsis about what you think has been the benefit of carrying out the work with Step Eight, because a synopsis can facilitate sharing it with your sponsor, your recovery buddy or both, if you have both and it will also facilitate your work in your Tenth and Twelfth Step.

 

STEP NINE

 

WE MADE DIRECT AMENDS TO ALL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, EXCEPT WHEN TO DO SO WOULD HURT US OR OTHERS FURTHER.

 

Dear student of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order.

 

CONGRATULATIONS!

 

You have now begun your work with Step Nine! The principle of Step Nine is liberation.

The Ninth Step Slogan is: The right action is the sweet fruit itself.

 

Love and hugs from us to you!

 

Read the following sections in The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order and write down your understanding of and experience with or lack of experience with that section and when you have finished this task share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both :

 

TASKS FOR STEP NINE.

 

ONE WEEK TASK

 

Every day for a week I write down how I chose .

 

When you finish this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both.

 

SYNOPSIS

 

Write a synopsis about what you think has been the benefit of carrying out the work with Step Nine, because a synopsis can facilitate sharing it with your sponsor, your recovery buddy or both, if you have both and it will also facilitate your work in your Tenth and Twelfth Step.

 

STEP TEN

 

WE CONTINUED TO TAKE PERSONAL INVENTORY AND WHEN WE MADE MISTAKES, WE PROMPTLY ADMITTED IT.

 

Dear student of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order.

 

CONGRATULATIONS!

 

You have now begun your work with Step Ten! The principle of Step Ten is Willingness.

The Tenth Step Slogan is: Guide me through my desires and liberate me from my mistakes.

 

Love and hugs from us to you!

 

Read the following sections in The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order and write down your understanding of and experience with or lack of experience with that section and when you have finished this task share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both :

 

TASKS FOR STEP TEN.

 

ONE WEEK TASK

 

Every day for a week I write down how I chose .

 

When you finish this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both.

 

SYNOPSIS

 

Write a synopsis about what you think has been the benefit of carrying out the work with Step Ten, because a synopsis can facilitate sharing it with your sponsor, your recovery buddy or both, if you have both and it will also facilitate your work in your Twelfth Step.

 

STEP ELEVEN

 

THROUGH PRAYER AND MEDITATION WE SOUGHT TO IMPROVE OUR CONSCIOUS CONTACT WITH OUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, AS WE UNDERSTOOD IT, ASKING ONLY FOR KNOWLEDGE OF OUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE'S WILL FOR US AND FOR THE POWER TO CARRY THAT OUT.

 

Dear student of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order.

 

CONGRATULATIONS!

 

You have now begun your work with Step Eleven! The principle of Step Eleven is expansion of consciousness .

The Slogan of the Eleventh Step is: Love, Your Will Be Done.

 

Love and hugs from us to you!

 

Read the following sections in The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order and write down your understanding of and experience with or lack of experience with that section and when you have finished this task share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both:

 

God

 

TASKS FOR STEP ELEVEN.

 

ONE WEEK TASK

 

Every day for a week I write down how I chose .

 

When you finish this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both.

 

SYNOPSIS

 

Write a synopsis about what you think has been the benefit of carrying out the work with Step Eleven, because a synopsis can facilitate sharing it with your sponsor, your recovery buddy or both, if you have both and it will also facilitate your work in your Twelfth Step.

 

STEP TWELVE

 

HAVING HAD A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING AS A RESULT OF THESE STEPS, WE PASSED ON THE MESSAGE OF RECOVERY TO OTHERS WHO SUFFERED FROM FEAR OF THEMSELVES, OTHERS, THE WORLD AT LARGE, LIFE AND DEATH, PAIN AND ILLNESS, THE DEVIL AND GOD AND WE PRACTICED THESE PRINCIPLES IN ALL OUR AFFAIRS.

 

Dear student of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order.

 

CONGRATULATIONS!

 

You have now begun your work with Step Twelve! The principle of Step Twelve is Mercy.

The Twelfth Step Slogan is:  We do not ask how your pain arose but what you want to do about it and how we can help.

 

Love and hugs from us to you!

 

Read the following sections in The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order and write down your understanding of and experience with or lack of experience with that section and when you have finished this task share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both :

 

TASKS FOR STEP TWELVE.

 

ONE WEEK TASK

 

Every day for a week I write down how I chose .

 

When you finish this task, share it with your sponsor or your recovery buddy or both if you have both.

 

SYNOPSIS

 

Write a synopsis about what you think has been the benefit of carrying out the work with Step Twelve, because a synopsis can facilitate sharing it with your sponsor, your recovery buddy or both, if you have both and it will also facilitate your work in your Tenth and Twelfth Step.

 

SAMPLE MEETING FORMAT FOR THE TOTO DOCTRINE FELLOWSHIP

 

We suggest the following meeting format for meetings in The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship:

The chairperson opens the meeting by saying

My name is ______ and I am unconditional Love.

Welcome to this meeting of The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship. We meet every ……day from ….. to ……

The meeting room will be open 15 minutes before and after the meeting.

We are a Fellowship of men and women who meet regularly to help each other liberate ourselves from the unmanageability that springs from our denial of who and what we are and the fear it leads to .

Let's begin this meeting with a moment of silence to reflect on why we are here now, followed by the God's Prayer that our group has chosen from our literature.

After a moment of silence say:

Thank you, and now let's pray our chosen prayer together:

God, our FatherMother
You are the only true goal of our life
We are yet but slaves of our wishes
putting bar to our advancement,
and You are the only God and Power
Who can take us up to that stage
so take our will and our life
and show us how we can live
in perfect conformity
with our true Self, our Spirit.

Thank you!

After the prayer, the meeting formally begins with the chair saying:

The only prerequisite for membership of The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship is a desire to give up one’s denial of one’s powerlessness over one’s unconditional Love and thus to be lead to the joy without opposites, which is the happiness, we have been searching for.

It costs nothing to be a member of the Fellowship.

You are a member if you say you are.

We suggest that you come some time before the meeting and stay some time after the meeting to develop your sense of Fellowship with the other members of The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship

I will now pass the floor to our treasurer name, who will welcome our newcomers and celebrate milestones with our old-timers.

The treasurer says:

My name is....... and I am unconditional Love.

In the TuTu Doctrine Fellowship, we believe that everyone, who comes to our meetings is part of that power, which keeps our group alive, and therefore we celebrate different active periods of members’ participation in our.

To begin with, we celebrate the most important persons among us today, who are our newcomers.

Is there anyone who wants to introduce himself,/herself by name, who are at their first meeting today?

 

Please allow us to welcome you.

 

Welcome the newcomer by giving him/her The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship Welcome amulet after it has been circulated to all members to give them an opportunity to charge it with their blessings and good wishes for the newcomer's future.

 

FRONT AND BACK OF THE WELCOME

AMULET IN THE TUTU DOCTRINE FELLOWSHIP

 


 

We now move on to celebrate members' participation in The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship.

 

Has anyone attended between 2 and 29 meetings in The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship today?

 Has anyone attended 30 meetings, 40 meetings, 50 meetings, 60 meetings,70 meetings, 80 meetings, 90 meetings, 100 meetings, 110 meetings, more meetings og other meeting numbers you want to celebrate in The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship today?


If a member wishes to celebrate his/her meeting attendance with the Fellowship, give him/her The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship amulet that has the number of his/her meetings on one side and one of the three symbols which are the ManWoman, the Absolute Heart or the Holy Grail on the other side.

 

FRONT AND BACK OF MILESTONE MEET THE AMULET IN THE TOTO DOCTRINE FELLOWSHIP

 

5 meetings


5 meetings


5 meetings


 

Proceed to the next part of the celebrations by asking:


Does anyone want to celebrate the completion of a Step in the TuTu Doctrine Fellowship by sharing their experiences with that Step in our meeting today after the group readings?


If a member wishes to celebrate the completion of a Step with the Fellowship, give him/her The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship amulet that has the name of the Step he/she has completed on one side and one of The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship’s symbols, on the other side after it has been circulated to all members to give them an opportunity to charge it with their blessings and good wishes for the member's future.

 

FRONT AND BACK OF MILESTONE STEPS

THE AMULET IN THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE TOTO DOCTRINE


 Step 6


Step 6


Step 6

 

 

End the celebrations by saying:

Thank you for celebrating your healing milestones with us today.

I now turn the floor over to the Chair, _______.

Thank you!

The chair says:

My name is ____ and I am unconditional love.

Now let's move on with our group readings.

Choose members to read one or more of the group readings and ask them to read it aloud to the group by saying:

I ask (name of member) to read (name of reading) for us.

The group readings can be read in the following order:

What is The TuTu  Doctrine Fellowship?

Why are we here?

Who has the disease fear?

The Program in The TuTu  Doctrine Fellowship.

What can I do?

Take it easy!

After the group readings, the chair says:

I now ask those members who have completed working on a Step in the TuTu Doctrine Fellowship to come up here and share their experiences of their work on this Step with the Fellowship.

Please welcome (name) to share his/her experience with the Fellowship.

When he/she has finished sharing, say.

I now open the meeting to members, who wish to share and pass the word around the room.

Those who prefer to listen today can introduce themselves and say they want to listen and pass the floor on to the next member.

At the end of this part of the meeting, the chairperson closes the meeting by saying:

I will now close the meeting with our closing readings.

Choose members to read one or more of the group readings and ask them to read it to the group by saying:

I ask (name of member) to read (name of reading) for us.

The group readings can be read in the following order:

The Twelve Traditions in The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship.

Just for today.

After the readings, the meeting leader reads The TuTu  Doctrine Fellowship announcements, if there are any, and adds:

If a member wishes to open a new meeting in The TuTu  Doctrine Fellowship, we suggest that he/she follows suggestion for the meeting format found in The TuTu  Doctrine - The New World Order under the title: Sample Meeting Format in The TuTu  Doctrine Fellowshiip.

Anybody, who wants to can find our literature for free reading or download on the Internet at this address:

https://totos-solfond.org/

In the end, the chair ends the meeting by saying:

I thank you all for attending this meeting and for sharing with us your experience, strength and hope about how we can recover from our denial of our powerlessness over our unconditional Love.

And we now end our meeting with the Spirit Prayer, which our group has chosen from our literature.


The 'Group' Version

 

God, our FatherMother

You Who are in the God Realm
May Your name be our
Holy Name Ardhanarishvara
May Your Realm come on Earth
so Your will may happen on Earth

like it happens in the God Realm
Give us this day what we need
Forgive us our mistakes and give us

the capacity to forgive those who mistake us
Guide us through our desires

and liberate us from our mistakes
For Yours is the God Realm

and the Power

and the Glory

eternally.
Amen.

 

THANK YOU!

 

Keep coming back! We need you!

 

 

WHAT IS THE TUTU DOCTRINE FELLOWSHIP?

TTDF is a non-commercial Fellowship of men and women for whom our denial of our unconditional Love had become a problem.

The Program in TTDF is a Program of complete abstinence from using denial of our powerlessness over our unconditional Love.

There are no ties attached to TTDF.

The Program in The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship is not a religious Program.

It is a spiritual Program, and as such TTDF neither endorses nor opposes any belief, denomination or religion; we are neither affiliated with any religious or political group nor are we affiliated with any other organization.

Anyone may join us regardless of his/her forms of denial and fear, age, profession, race, sexual identity or sexual choice, political belief, faith, religion or lack of religion.

The only requirement for membership of The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship is a desire to stop using denial of one’s powerlessness over one’s unconditional Love.

We have no membership fees, no commitments to sign and no promises to make to anyone.

We are not interested in who or what has caused our denial of our unconditional Love, what we have done in the past, or how much or how little we own, but only in what we want to do to liberate our self from our denial, so we can return home to our unconditional Love.

We have learned from our experiences in The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship that those of us who continue to come regularly to our meetings are able to live a life of oneness with his/her unconditional Love of himself/herself, others, the World at large, life and death, pain and illness, the devil and God.

WHY ARE WE HERE?


We are a Fellowship of men and women who want to return home to our unconditional Love and to achieve this we work with the Program in The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship.

We meet regularly to help each other recover from our denial of our powerlessness over our unconditional Love by sharing about our recovery experiences, and thus we draw strength and hope from each other.

Before we came to the Fellowship of the Two Doctrine, we could not accept our unconditional Love for ourselves, others, the World at large, life and death, pain and illness, the devil and God.

We could not live and enjoy life as other people could.

We always felt that something was lacking in our lives, and we believed that if only forced ourselves and others to work harder, change enough, think, feel and act differently or became better in some areas, we would become able to return home to our unconditional love.

Furthermore we believed that if only others would treat us better, be more understanding, loving, caring, compassionate and merciful, we would be able to love ourselves, and everything and everybody everywhere on all levels of consciousness as it is and as we and they are.

Most of us realized that despite our persistent efforts to change, and despite all the love, care, compassion and mercy we received from others, we were still afraid of ourselves, others, the World at large, life and death, pain and illness, the devil and God.

After having tried everything we could on our own to overcome our fear, but without success, we finally sought help from each other in The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship.

We had finally found a Fellowship with others who suffered from the same as us, and together we moved from our denial of our powerlessness over our unconditional Love to acknowledge that when we were acting in conformity with our unconditional Love for ourselves and everything and everybody everywhere on all levels of consciousness, we achieved the joy without opposites, which is the happiness we have been searching for.

WHO HAS THE DISEASE OF FEAR?


Those of us who cannot liberate himself/herself from their denial of their powerlessness over their unconditional Love and who therefore acts in opposition to the unconditional Love of their true Self, their Spirit for himself/herself and everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of consciousness, suffer from the disease of fear.

Because of our denial, we try to find out who we are, and this search for ourselves makes as something other than the unconditional Love, we are, scares us, because we imagine that something or someone somewhere at some level of consciousness, wants to do evil to us afraid of the fantasies of evil that we imagine exist and that we may find inside ourselves, even if evil is not found in the True Reality, but only in our fantasy.

Our fear can be of a mild, moderate or severe nature, just as it is the case with any other physical or mental illness.

Today many are found, who suffer from a severe state of fear and even more who have a mild or moderate form of this disease.

Our experience has shown us that whether our fear is mild, moderate or severe, the mental-emotional pain of fear generally settle in us over time as diseases of a material, physical, energetic, emotional, mental, social or spiritual nature.

However, when we came to the TuTu Doctrine Fellowship, we discovered that we could learn to live an earthly life in conformity with our unconditional Love, whether our fear was mild, moderate, or severe.

THE PROGRAM IN THE TUTU DOCTRINE FELLOWSHIP


1. We admitted that we were powerless over our unconditional Love - that our denial made our life unmanageable.

2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could lead us to acknowledge our unconditional Love and thereby lead us to the joy without opposites, which is the happiness, we have been searching for.

3. We made a decision to unconditionally turn our will and our life over to the care our unconditional Love, as we understood It.

4. We made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.

5. We admitted our exact nature to ourselves, our unconditional Love, another human being and The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship.

6. We became entirely ready to allow our unconditional Love to transform our mistakes to wisdom.

7. We humbly asked our unconditional Love to liberate us from our mistakes.

8. We made a list of those, who had been hurt by our mistakes, beginning with ourselves and became willing to make amends to all.

9. We made direct amends to all as soon as possible, except if it would hurt us, them or others further.

10. We continued to take personal inventory and when we made mistakes, we promptly admitted it.

11. Through prayer and meditation we sought to improve our conscious contact with our unconditional Love, as we understood It, asking only for knowledge of our unconditional Love's Will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we passed on the message of recovery to others suffering from denial of their powerlessness over their unconditional Love, and we practiced these principles in all our affairs.

WHAT CAN I DO?


Begin working on your own Program by completing Step One of the Program in The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship.

You can do this with the help of a sponsor who is usually an experienced member of The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship and who can guide you through the Steps.

If such a person is not available, it has been suggested that you can work the Steps in another way by forming a recovery partnership with another member of TTDF and work through the Steps with him/her, and if you wish, you can even use both options.

When we admit flatly to our innermost selves that we are powerless over our unconditional Love, we have taken a giant step towards our unconditional Love.

Many of us had some reservations on this point because we had difficulties in imagining how it would be possible for us to stop being scared of ourselves, others, the World at large, life and death, pain and illness, the devil and God, but we suggest that you give yourself a chance and be as thorough as possible from the beginning.

Go to Step Two and then work through the rest of the Steps, one at a time.

Gradually, your understanding of the Program will develop as you begin to achieve results and experience the benefits that arise from your work with the Program in TTDF.

Come to our meetings.

Here you will find answers to some of the things that may be disturbing you now.

If you are unable to attend a meeting for various reasons, maintain a regular contact with the Fellowship by being in contact with the members of TTDF.

Stop using denial of your powerlessness over your unconditional Love one day at a time.

Most of us can do for an hour what may seem impossible for a longer period of time.

If you get consumed by a thought that springs from denial of your unconditional Love, then put yourself on a "five minutes at a time" basis to refrain from taking your denial into use.

Minutes will grow into hours and hours into days, and thus you can break the habit and gain longer and longer glimpses of the joy without opposites.

The real miracle happens when you realize that you ARE unconditional Love, because you discover in your work with the Program in TTDF that innermost you unconditionally love yourself and everything and everyone everywhere on all levels of consciousness as who it is and who you and they are in Truth behind the mask of our three dimensional limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality/changeability.

You have stopped using denial and have begun living a happy life as the unconditional Love, you are.

TAKE IT EASY!


The Program in The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship can seem like a huge task, and it helps us to remember that we can't do it all at once, and no one expects us to.
 
It is also important to remind ourselves that we did not develop our denial in one day, and we do not recover in one day either, so remember – TAKE IT EASY!
 
We feel that our approach to stop denying what and who, we are, they are and it is by acknowledging our powerlessness over our unconditional Love for ourselves and everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of consciousness, is extremely therapeutic because the healing power of two or more people helping each other to liberate ourselves from our denial of what and who we are, what and who others are, and what and who anything at all is, is without parallel.

THE TWELVE TRADITIONS IN TTDF


Just like each of us as individual members of the TuTu Doctrine Fellowship finds our place in the Fellowship and in the World at large, the group finds its place in the Fellowship and in the World at large by means of the Twelve Traditions of TTDF.

TRADITION 1: Our common welfare should come first; our personal recovery depends on the oneness of our group, and the oneness of the group depends on each individual member's sense of belonging to the group.

TRADITION 2: For our group purposes, there is but one ultimate authority, an unconditionally loving Spirit as that Spirit comes to expression through our Group Consciousness. Our leaders are trusted servants; they do not govern.

TRADITION 3: The only requirement for membership in The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship is a desire to stop denying one’s powerlessness over one’s unconditional Love.

TRADITION 4: Every group in the TTDF is autonomous except in matters affecting The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship at large; similarly, every member of the group has the right to be autonomous except in matters affecting the group or TTDF as a whole.

TRADITION 5: Every group has but one primary purpose – to pass on the message of recovery to others, who suffer under their denial of their powerlessness over their unconditional Love, and who therefore is scared of themselves, others, the World at large, life and death, pain and illness, the devil and God.

TRADITION 6: A TTDF group ought never endorse, finance or lend the TTDF name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of property, money, power and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

TRADITION 7: Every group in TTDF ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

TRADITION 8: The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
 
TRADITION 9: TTDF ought never be organized, but we may createmanifest service commissions or committees directly accountable to those they serve.
 
TRADITION 10: TTDF has no opinion on outside issues; therefore the TTDF name ought never be drawn into public debates.
 
TRADITION 11:Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; personal anonymity should always be maintained at the level of Internet, press, radio, television and films.

TRADITION 12: Anonymity is the Spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

JUST FOR TODAY


Many of us in The TuTu Doctrine Fellowship use this affirmation in our recovery:

JUST FOR TODAY, my thoughts will be on my recovery, living and enjoying life without using denial of  my powerlessness over my unconditional Love.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will have faith in someone in ChrisAn, who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will use my TTDF Program. I will follow it to the best of my ability.

JUST FOR TODAY, through TTDF I will try to get a better perspective on myself and my life.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will be undaunted, my thoughts will be with my new family, people who are not using denial of their powerlessness over their unconditional Love, and who have found a new way to live.

So long as I follow this way, I have nothing to fear!

THE PRINCIPLES OF THE STEPS


The principle of Step One is Honesty.
Slogan: Truth always triumphs in the end!

2) The principle of Step Two is Open-mindedness.
Slogan: To listen attentively and respectfully to another is the first expression of emotional sobriety.

3) The principle of Step Three is Surrender.
Slogan: Follow your heart.

4) The principle of Step Four is Courage.
Slogan: I accept both my virtues and my defects of character.

The first four Steps put together also represent the first meeting with the Big Ring of Joy that consists of Faith, Hope, Love and Truth.

5) The principle of Step Five is Humility.
Slogan: Any creaturemanifestation is neither superior nor inferior to me.

6) The principle of Step Six is Transformation.
Slogan: I own my hurts.

7) The principle of Step Seven is Letting Go.
Slogan: Let go and let Love.

8) The principle of Step Eight is Forgiveness.
Slogan: Forgive me my mistakes and give me the capacity to forgive those who mistake me.

Steps Five to Eight put together represent the second meeting with the Big Ring of Joy that consists of Faith, Hope, Love and Truth.

9) The principle of Step Nine is Liberation.
Slogan: The right action is the sweet fruit itself.

10) The principle of Step Ten is Willingness.
Slogan: Guide me through my desires and liberate me from my mistakes.

11) The principle of Step Eleven is Expansion of Consciousness.
Slogan: Love, Your will be done.

The principle of Step Twelve is Mercy.
Slogan: We do not ask how your pain arose but what you want to do about it and how we can help.

The last four Steps put together represent the third meeting with the Big Ring of Joy that consists of Faith, Hope, Love and Truth.

THE PRINCIPLES OF THE TRADITIONS


1) The principle of the First Tradition is Fellowship.
Slogan: Together we can accomplish what we cannot accomplish alone.

2) The principle of the Second Tradition is Service.
Slogan: I don't serve to elevate myself but to give life-force to the principles I wish to further.

3) The principle of the Third Tradition is Tolerance.
Slogan: Tolerance furthers understanding.

4) The principle of the Fourth Tradition is Serenity.
Slogan: To meet and to separate and to meet again is the life condition of all creaturesmanifestations.

5) The principle of the Fifth Tradition is Gratitude.
Slogan: Mutual appreciation pleases the heart.

6) The principle of the Sixth Tradition is Life-force.
Slogan: I liberate myself from that which doesn't serve my purpose.

7) The principle of the Seventh Tradition is Simplicity.
Slogan: A place for everything and everything in its place.

8) The principle of the Eighth Tradition is Respect.
Slogan: Live and let live.

9) The principle of the Ninth Tradition is Accountability.
Slogan: I serve with pleasure or not at all.

10) The principle of the Tenth Tradition is Anonymity.
Slogan: I speak for myself about myself to myself.

11) The principle of the Eleventh Tradition is Truth.
Slogan: My truth is not the whole truth.

12) The principle of the Twelfth Tradition is Freedom.
Slogan: I take to heart what I can use and leave the rest.

 

INVOLUTION AND EVOLUTION

 

When a son of humankind and a daughter of humankind have had all their material desires fulfilled and thus have become full of days, a turning point arises in the form of a desire to experience again the bliss of the total merger with one’s other half, and with this desire the migration down through dimensions ends.


This migration is called creationmanifestation, involution, entanglement or the descent of Spirit into Matter, and the migration back through the dimensions begins.


The migration back to the origin is called dissolution, evolution, untanglement or the ascent of Matter into Spirit.

 

 

HINDUISTIC ARCHETYPES

 

In India, spiritual science works with a very vast number of archetypes, where God is perceived to be the merged masculine and feminine principles, called Ardhanarishvara, who abides the eight dimension, the Absolute as pure Spirit and pure Spirits archetype, which consists of the individual united Spirits and is called the God Realm.

The Souls, who were the first creaturesmanifestations, are called Demigods and Demigoddesses and abide in various fields of energy according to their own choice in the seventh dimension as Soul Mates, who consists of the separated masculine and feminine principle into a ‘he’ and a ‘she’ from their personal Ardhanarishvara.

When a human being meets his/her Spirit Mate in his/her human life, it becomes his/her task to approach God by seeing his/her God, his/her personal Ardhanarishvara in his/her partner, and when that is achieved by the help of The Four Weddings, it also becomes his/her task to see his/her impersonal God, his/her impersonal Ardhanarishvara in Ardhanarishvara’s archetype, who holds everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence.


TuTu taught me many archetypes, but the below five are fundamental for the spiritual aspirants'  perspective on existence.


Ardhanarishvara = halfwoman God = the ManWoman = God

 

Patiparamishwara = the woman’s God = spouse


Padniparamishwari = the man’s Goddess = spouse


Pashupatinath-Shiva = the destroyer = the male God of the animal-man and the animal-woman = Shiva/Maheshwara/the greatest God


Kali-Shakti = the destroyess = the female God of the animal-man and the animal-woman = Shakti/Maheshwari/the greatest Goddess.

 

Contents part 2

 

EVOLUTION

 

When a couple’s desire to merge completely arises, this desire sends an impulse through the dimensions to exactly that ManWoman who has sent out this couple as a projection of Himself-Herself, and the ManWoman reflects the impulse by letting it wander back through the dimensions to both of them as a desire to withdraw all projections.


Thereby, the two individuals
begin to become interested in spirituality, whether they live together or separate in each their part of the outer or the inner Worlds, and thus they begin receiving teachings as to how to withdraw all projections from the outer and the inner Worlds.

 

 

SPIRITUAL PRACTICE

 

In the Master’s teachings, this takes place as a cleaning of consciousness by the help of transmission, while at the same time, the disciple cooperates by performing a daily mental cleaning ritual.

The Master’s disciples also practice contemplation and concentration followed by meditation on a daily basis to expand their conscious contact with their true Self.

In The Fellowships Anonymous, the withdrawal of projections takes place through cleaning the consciousness with the help of daily inventories and by the help of the Two Way Prayer that was coined by the Oxford movement, which is the origin of The Fellowships Anonymous.

The Two Way Prayer, which is a meditation form, where the spiritual aspirant writes a question down to his true Self and this he/she perceives as a prayer of guidance.

Then he/she lets the answer rise through the stillness within, and this he/she perceives as meditation, and he/she writes down the answer to hold it steady in his/her mind for contemplation.

Besides this, respect of one’s own and others’ emotions, plus reflection, contemplation, concentration and any form of meditation is a part of the daily work with expanding the conscious contact with his/her true Self.

 

 

GOD’S PRESENCE

 

TuTu explained that as a result of this training the spiritual capacity of the person grows, and this capacity is decisive for the person’s experience of God’s presence.


The lesser the capacity, the more distant God appears to be to a human being, although God is the very being of himself/herself and even though he/she is surrounded by God in all ways, both physical and non-physical.

 

 

RETURN TO THE ORIGIN

 

When the son and the daughter of humankind return to the origin as the ManWoman, they behold each other in blissful love with their new delighted eyes that they have attained in involution, and when all creaturesmanifestations have withdrawn from matter and the evolution is thus completed, then at full blast, the cosmic orchestra plays the music of the spheres, which is the rainbow-colored love movements of the Menwomen, and in this way, there is joy in eternities' eternity, until creationmanifestation begins anew as materiel manifestation.

 

 

NUCLEAR FISSIONS AND NUCLEAR FUSIONS

 

TuTu explained that in the Absolute the energy is constant, but from the seventh dimension to the first, which all are the illusion about separation from God and the eternal beloved Spirit Mate in each their way, energy injections and energy deprivations are found, and here is the battle about the energies and the fear of losing a normal expression in the movements of life.


If the movement takes place from the Absolute to the dimensions, from the seventh to the first, for each projection into form, a nuclear fission takes place, and the result is a deprivation of awareness of Spirit/Oneness of the eternal lovers and an injection of energy to the awareness of Matter/Separation of the eternal lovers.


If the movement takes place from the dimensions to the Absolute, after a series of quantum leaps, a nuclear fusion takes place, and the result is a deprivation of awareness of Matter/Separation of the eternal lovers and an injection of energy to the awareness Spirit/Oneness of the eternal lovers.

 

 

THE MOVEMENTS OF LIFE

 

Changes in the emotional states bring forth the movements of the energies of life in the worlds of illusions.

 

Basic emotional conditions arose in the seventh dimension and consist in four fundamental emotions: Love, joy, pain and fear, and all other emotions spring from these four.

They are the result of the illusion about ‘the Big Bang’, where the separation of the masculine and the feminine principle apparently took place.

 

But what God has joined together is inseparable, and thus the masculine and the feminine principle cannot be separated, because all the individual Spirits that God createdmanifested as HisHer SonDaughters are thus one being like God HimHerself and therefore any idea of separation is an illusion.

 

However, the illusion of separation may appear to a human being to be real, because the human lovers are separated into a ‘he’ and a ‘she’.

 

For the separated, love and fear go hand in hand because love in the seventh dimension, after ‘the Big Bang’, called out fear of having lost one’s eternal beloved Spirit Mate.

 

Pain arises when the beloved appears to be lost, and joy arises when the beloved appears to be found.

 

In the world of illusions, the eternally loving Spirit Mates meet and separate and meet again and again, and even the act of lovemaking takes place by the bodies meeting and separating and meeting again until the seed of love and the egg of love meets at the peak of merging.

 

Separation therefore can appear to be a prerequisite for setting the motions of the life energies into movement so new life can come into being.

 

To illustrate the movements of the life energies as they appear to the separated to be on Planet Earth, two graphs are found below that illustrate the movements in the worlds of illusions, where Spirit seems to be entangled in or untangled from matter.

 

The two Rings are called the Magic Rings, and they are found as two different energy fields in the seventh dimension - one that works for involution/matter and one that works for evolution/Spirit.

 

The first Magical Ring is called the Ring of Matter, and illustrates the illusion of the entanglement of the Spirit in Matter, and therefore this Ring is also called the Ring of Illusion.

The second Magical Ring is called the ring of Spirit, and illustrates the untanglement of Spirit from matter, and therefore this Ring is also called the Ring of Truth.

 

THE MAGICAL RINGS  

THE RING OF MATTER/THE RING OF ILLUSION

The feminine ring: Involution (The movement is clockwise)

Right symbolizes the illusion. Left symbolizes the Truth.

  By turning clockwise, linear time, horizontal time,
 Truth is given off and illusion is received.

 

God the Father says: “Become light” and Goddess the Mother becomes the growth of Matter Limitation.

 

Goddess the Mother says: “Become manifold” and Goddess the Daughter becomes the form of Matter Mortality.

 

Goddess the Daughter says: “Become love” and the God the Son becomes the nourishment of Matter Powerlessness.

 

God the Son says: “Become clean” and God the Father becomes the consciousness of Matter Ignorance.

THE RING OF SPIRIT/THE RING OF TRUTH 

The masculine ring: Evolution (The movement is anti-clockwise)

Right symbolizes the illusion, and left symbolizes the Truth.

By turning anti-clockwise, spiral time, vertical time,
illusion is given off, and Truth  is received.
 

 

Goddess the Mother says: “Become power” and God the Father becomes the consciousness of the Spirit  Omniscience.

 

God the Father says: “Become force” and God the Son becomes the nourishment of the Spirit  Omnipotence.

 

God the Son says: “Become oneness” and Goddess the Daughter becomes the form of the Spirit  Immortality.

 

Goddess the Daughter says: “Become darkness” and Goddess the Mother becomes the growth of the Spirit  Omnipresence.

 

Contents part 2

 

THE REALMS OF CONSCIOUSNESS IN THE THIRD DIMENSION

 

TuTu explained that the movement of consciousness in the third dimension passes through the outer and the inner planes of the mineral realm, the plant realm, the animal realm and the human realm.

 

 

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

 

When the individual’s consciousness moves from its outer form in the animal realm to its new outer form in the human realm, he/she brings deep instinctive experiences with him/her from the other realms from where his/her consciousness has grown through various stages and has thus become ready to take on a human form.


Throughout his/her time in the animal realm, the consciousness develops new forms all the time to find the best-equipped survival forms, and thus everything in the animal realm revolves around becoming powerful enough to survive.


Therefore, in the animal realm, might is right.

 

 

THE HUMAN RIGHTS

 

In the human realm, the consciousness moves through various stages and reaches a solution for everybody’s survival, and so it no longer revolves around survival of the fittest here but around achieving the right for all human life forms to survive – both the fragile and the strong – without them being robbed of the necessities for survival and without them being persecuted and punished by the flock because of their choice of life style, as this is a prerequisite for the development of the ability to discern that everybody have all their desires fulfilled and thereby get the opportunity to get to know the contents of their desires.

 

Thus, in the human realm, might is no longer right, but the right to have one's desires fulfilled is right.

 

 

THE FALL OF MATERIALISM

 

If a powerful person desires to usurp more than he/she needs, also such a person has to have his/her wish fulfilled, but anybody has the right to withdraw from this person if the person tries to buy one’s life-force to usurp even more by exploiting his/her neighbor as labor instead of sharing the surplus of their mutual endeavors with each other.


By withdrawing from this kind of exploitation, anybody can contribute to such a person discovering for himself/herself as to which of his/her possessions hold a value for him/her and which are acquired with the purpose of achieving the power and the glory.


If such a person has set himself/herself up as a dictator of a nation, humankind can open up to receiving all those citizens from this nation who don’t want to contribute to the dictator’s attempt to achieve the power and the glory by offering them dignified and humane living conditions in another country and thus take away the dictator’s opportunity to usurp rights over the life and happiness of others by the help of persecutions, murders, fire and brimstone.

 

In this way, humankind can collectively help such a dictator to discover that he/she is neither greater nor smaller than any other creaturemanifestation, and that his/her desires therefore are neither more nor less important than that of everybody else.

 

 

THE DEVIL AND ALL HIS BEING AND ALL HIS DOINGS

 

That consciousness which has just left the animal realm to enter his/her human form, needs time, in life after life after life, to orientate himself/herself in the new realm so as to be able to find out which principles are valid here.


The general attitude of this type of consciousness has made humankind visualize it as a human being with hooves, horns and tail besides a trident that could be used to attack others in the struggle for survival.

 

 

THE SPHINX

 

When this consciousness goes through experiences in the human realm in life after life, the person’s mental abilities become clearer, but he/she is still influenced by the norms of the animal realm, and therefore humankind has portrayed this type of consciousness as the sphinx with a human head and an animal body.

 

 

JUSTICE

 

Gradually, as the consciousness acquires more and more mental abilities, it gets consumed by system-building and legislation to secure that both the strong and the weak get the right to their life style, and thus justice becomes the goal.

 

 

DISCERNMENT

 

When consciousness comes to realize that justice cannot be achieved solely by the help of system-building and legislation, it begins to seek for love, and thereby the person begins to follow the heart instead of the system and the legislation at those points in time where a conflict arises between the two.

 

 

CONDEMNATION

 

That person who fears and condemns the expression of consciousness in the form of the person with horns, hooves and tail thus condemns his/her own roots.


By fearing and condemning this part of himself/herself under many different labels such as the devil, Satan and Beelzebub, the individual prevents himself/herself from admitting that the qualities ascribed to the devil is a part of himself/herself, and thereby this part is pushed under the threshold of the daily consciousness.

 

This allows the fear and condemnation to breed and become avarice, envy, hatred and arrogance, which can grow up as trees in the consciousness and bear many different fruits such as anger, disbelief, superstition and many other destructive attributes.

 

 

THE TREE OF HATRED/SUPPRESSED ANGER AND THE TREE OF LOVE

 

The graph below illustrates the growth of two trees in the human mind from their birth to their full fruition.

 

 

In the above graph, the Tree of Hatred/suppressed anger illustrates how hatred sprouts forth from a slight disturbance in a person’s life in the form of various emotions like ill will, unkindness, irritation and impatience to denial, manipulation, illness and insanity that lead into a trunk of low self-esteem crowned by hatred.

The soil the tree grows in can be looked at like a situation we encounter, and when we respond to the situation with ill will, unkindness, irritation, and impatience, we give nourishment to the Tree of Hatred/suppressed anger.

 

Likewise, the Tree of Love illustrates how love sprouts forth from a slight movement in a person’s life in the form of various emotions like good will, kindness, calmness and patience to admission, self-acceptance, health and sanity that lead into a trunk of high self-esteem crowned by love.

 

Again, the soil the tree grows in can be perceived as a situation we encounter, and when we respond to the situation with good will, kindness, calmness and patience, we provide nourishment to the Tree of Love.

 

Contents part 2

 

GUILT AND INNOCENCE

 

To condemn oneself and others makes a person feel ashamed of himself/herself and feel guilt ridden about being the way he/she is, but anybody – be it animal man/woman or a saint - are at a stage in their existence which is connected with the extent of their existential experiences that are achieved in life after life.

 

The animal man/woman and the saint carry out actions, which their existential experiences has given them the impression, will be the most advantageous for themselves and their dear ones.


That animal man and animal woman sometimes carry out actions that are harmful to the life and happiness of others is, therefore, connected to the understanding that belongs to his/her existential stage.


That the saint abstains from carrying out such actions is also connected with the understanding which belongs to his/her existential stage.

 

Thus, the animal man and the animal woman act from the same motives as the saint and they are therefore equally innocent, and exactly this understanding will eventually lead humankind to forgive themselves and others for being as they are.

 

 

THE REDEMPTION

 

Only when a person honestly admits to possess that part of himself/herself which is ascribed to the devil can he/she begin to receive those qualities that he/she attained from his/her time in the mineral realm, the plant realm and the animal realm, so as to be able to screen out those qualities they no longer need in their life as human beings, and thereby achieve their redemption from their shame about themselves.

 

 

THE POWERS OF THE DESTRUCTIVE RINGS

 

Below are some graphs that illustrate some of the characteristics which can sprout forth by denying one’s powerlessness over the unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy of one’s true Self, one’s Spirit..


TuTu called these the destructive rings or the Rings of Pain
.

 

 

THE POWERS OF THE CONSTRUCTIVE RINGS

 

Below the destructive rings are some graphs that show some of the characteristics which can sprout forth after the cessation of the denial, and these TuTu called the constructive rings or the Rings of Joy.

 

 

THE TRANSFORMATION

 

By looking at the powers of the destructive rings and investigating their effects in one’s own life and in the World, a person, a society, a country or the World at large can inventory themselves and thereby find loving, caring, compassionate and merciful ways of replacing the powers of the destructive rings with the powers of the constructive rings within themselves, within the society, the country or the World at large if they so desire.

 

Contents part 2

 

THE DESTRUCTIVE RINGS

 

By beginning to look at the powers of the destructive rings in Step Four and Six in the 12 Step Program of TTDF and investigating their effects in one’s own life and in the World, a person, a society, a country or the World at large can inventory themselves and thereby find loving, caring, compassionate and merciful ways of replacing the powers of the destructive rings with the powers of the constructive rings within themselves, within the society, the country and the World at large if they so desire.

 

 

THE RINGS OF PAIN

 

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THE GLOBAL RING OF PAIN

 

 

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THE NORTH

 

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): AVARICE

SWING: AVARICE <-> ENVY

 

THE SOUTH

 

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): ENVY

SWING: ENVY <-> AVARICE

 

THE WEST

 

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): ARROGANCE

SWING: ARROGANCE <-> HATRED

 

THE EAST

 

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): HATRED (Suppressed anger)

SWING: HATRED <-> ARROGANCE

 

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THE REGIONAL RINGS

 

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 THE SMALL RING OF PAIN OF THE NORTH

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): AVARICE

EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:

 

SWING NORTH <-> SOUTH: STINGINESS <-> GREED

SWING EAST <-> WEST: POVERTY <-> GLUTTONY

 

 

When The Ring of Avarice becomes active in us, we want to receive something materially, physically, space-time wise, emotionally, mentally, socially or spiritually without using our own money, time, energy or interest to get it (Stinginess), and we readily receive anything that we do not have to make an effort to get (Greed) even if we do not need it (Gluttony), while at the same time we feel poor in spite of all the things and advantages we possess (Poverty).

THE SMALL RING OF PAIN OF THE SOUTH

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): ENVY

EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:

 

SWING NORTH <-> SOUTH: DISBELIEF <-> SUPERSTITION

SWING EAST <-> WEST: SUBMISSION <-> DEFIANCE

 

 

When The Ring of Envy becomes active in us, we imagine that we can get what we see others have without doing anything for it (Superstition), and that there is nobody or nothing who will help us get what we so desire if we work towards fulfilling our desires ourselves (Disbelief).

 

We get angry if someone suggests that we should participate and contribute with our interest, energy, time or money just like others do to get the same as they have whether it is material, physical, time-space wise, emotional, mental, social or spiritual (Defiance), or we submit to various demands that are contrary to our innermost desires hoping that others e.g. God, our spouse, our employer, family, friend etc. will fulfill our desires if only we throw ourselves on our knees and flatter them with sacrificial gifts or words of praise (Submission).

 

THE SMALL RING OF PAIN OF THE EAST

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): HATRED (Suppressed anger)

EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:

 

SWING NORTH <-> SOUTH: DENIAL <-> MANIPULATION

SWING EAST <-> WEST: DISEASE <-> MADNESS

 

 

When The Ring of Hatred/suppressed anger becomes active in us, we deny our needs and refuse to take responsibility for ourselves, whether materially, physically, space-time wise, emotionally, mentally, socially or spiritually (Denial), and we try in roundabout ways to manipulate others into fulfilling our needs to have it confirmed that we are valuable (Manipulation).

 

At the same time, we imagine that others fulfill our needs because we are so special (Insanity), and if others do not fulfill our needs, we continue to deny them until we feel so bad materially, physically, space-time wise, emotionally, mentally, socially or spiritually that we get ill from it (Illness).

THE SMALL RING OF PAIN OF THE WEST

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): ARROGANCE

EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:

 

SWING NORTH <-> SOUTH: SUPERIORITY <-> INFERIORITY

SWING EAST <-> WEST: OVERCROWDING <-> ISOLATION


 


When The Small Ring of Arrogance becomes active in us, we feel above others when our needs are met (Superiority), and below others when our needs are not met (Inferiority).

 

When we feel we are less than others, we stay by ourselves to hide our vulnerability and our feeling of worthlessness (Isolation), and when we feel we are more than others, we fill up our time and space with people and activities to show off our superiority by the help of the number of people present in our lives and the numerous activities we undertake (Overcrowding).

THE CONSTRUCTIVE RINGS

 

The big circle is the global ring, which is in force for both the individual and for the World at large. The smaller circles on the rim of the global ring are the four regional rings each carrying a constructive interference pattern.

THE RINGS OF JOY

 

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THE GLOBAL RING OF JOY

 

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THE NORTH:

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): FAITH

SWING: FAITH <-> HOPE

 

 

THE SOUTH:

 

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): HOPE

SWING: HOPE <-> FAITH

 

 

THE EAST:

 

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): LOVE

SWING: LOVE <-> TRUTH

 

 

THE WEST:

 

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): TRUTH

SWING: TRUTH <-> LOVE

 

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THE REGIONAL RINGS

 

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THE SMALL RING OF JOY OF THE NORTH

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): FAITH

EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:

 

SWING NORTH « SOUTH: GENEROSITY « TRUST

SWING EAST « WEST: PROSPERITY « ACCOUNTABILITY

 

the-northern-ring-of-joy-tutu, NEW

 

When The Ring of Faith becomes active in us, we believe that our true Selves gives us what we need when we need it (Trust), and we use our true Selves’s gifts to the full or pass them on to others if we do not find use for them (Accountability).

 

Therefore we pass on our material, physical, space-time wise, emotional, mental, social or spiritual surplus to others who lack what we have in excess (Generosity), and through these actions, we realize that we do have a surplus to give from (Abundance).

THE SMALL RING OF JOY OF THE SOUTH

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): HOPE

EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:

 

SWING NORTH <-> SOUTH: CREDENCE <-> INFORMATION

SWING EAST <-> WEST: DISCERNMENT <-> SERENITY

 

 

 

 

When The Ring of Hope becomes active in us, we have faith in that our desires will be fulfilled if we work for it (Belief), and that our true Selves will show us the way ahead (Enlightenment)).

 

Therefore we listen attentively to the guidance of our true Selves (Discernment) before moving ahead along the shown path, one step at a time (Serenity).

 




THE SMALL RING OF JOY OF THE EAST

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): LOVE

EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:

 

SWING NORTH <-> SOUTH: ADMITTING <-> SELF-ACCEPTANCE

SWING EAST <-> WEST: HEALTH <-> SANITY

 
the-western-ring-of-joy-tutu

 


 

When the ring of love becomes active in us, we take responsibility for ourselves by fulfilling our needs materially, physically, space-time wise, emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually (Self-acceptance), and we seek the help of others for those needs that we cannot fulfill ourselves by admitting our need for help to another human being (Admission).

 

As we fulfill our needs this way (Sanity), we experience an expansion of wellbeing in all areas (Health).

 

THE SMALL RING OF JOY OF THE WEST

ARCHETYPE (INTERFERENCE PATTERN): TRUTH

EFFECT AT WORLD LEVEL:

 

SWING NORTH <-> SOUTH: HUMILITY <->HONESTY

SWING EAST « WEST: INDIVIDUALITY « FELLOWSHIP

 

 

When The Small Ring of Truth becomes active in us, we feel that everybody is equally valuable to totality (Humility) even though we are not able to evaluate the full value of ourselves and others (Honesty).

 

Therefore, we do not try to evaluate our worth or that of others; instead we seek to find that part in ourselves where we recognize the emotions of others (Fellowship), while at the same time, we accept that we and others may have different reasons to feel the way we do (Individuality).

 

THE PRAYERS OF THE RINGS

 

We can choose to use the below prayers to make easier our personal work with the Rings of Pain and Joy, and also we can use The Smile Meditation below to intensify this work.

The below prayer is called the Prayer of Pain, because we pray to be liberated from our use of the Rings of Pain in this prayer.
 

 Contents part 2
 

THE PRAYER OF PAIN

 

God,

 

Liberate me from using the pain of my self-important seriousness and make my stay in all of the Rings of Pain short today:

 

The Ring of Emptiness and thereby emptiness, boredom, meaninglessness and loneliness

 

The  Ring of Self-centredness and thereby self-criticism, depression, euphoria and self-praise

 

The Ring of Codependency and thereby the savior, seducer, victim and offender roles

 

The Big Ring of Pain and thereby avarice, envy, hatred and arrogance

 

The Small Ring of Avarice and thereby stinginess, greed, poverty and gluttony

 

The Small Ring of Envy and thereby disbelief, superstition, submission and defiance

 

The Small Ring of Hatred/suppressed anger and thereby denial, manipulation, disease and madness

 

The Small Ring of Arrogance and thereby superiority, inferiority, overcrowding and isolation

 

The Miniring of Avarice and thereby pettiness, clinging, malaise and hoarding

 

The Miniring of Envy and thereby insecurity, confusion, unclarity and wretchedness

 

The Miniring of Hatred/suppressed anger and thereby ill will, unkindness, irritation and impatience

 

The Miniring of Arrogance and thereby condescension, intolerance, exaggeration and seclusion

 

The Microring of Avarice and thereby selfishness, hardness, unfreedom and negligence

 

The Microring of Envy and thereby denigration, incusceptibility, narrow-mindedness and unworthiness

 

The Microringof Hatred/suppressed anger and thereby indignation, vindictiveness, belligerence and bitterness

 

The Microring of Arrogance and thereby disrespect, craftiness, distortion and separateness

 

The Nanoring of Avarice and thereby inhibition, nervousness, complaining and indifference

 

The Nanoring of Envy and thereby uncertainty, uncultivatedness, indecision and rashness

 

The Nanoring of Hatred/suppressed anger and thereby resentment, unwillingness, vociferousness and

stiff-neckedness
 

The Nanoring of Arrogance and thereby insincerity, cunning, unreliability and alienation.

 

THANK YOU!
 


The below prayer is called the Prayer of Joy, because we pray for the capacity to make use of all the Rings of Joy.


Contents part 2
 

THE PRAYER OF JOY

 

God,

 

Grant me the capacity to be unpretentious and cheerful, joyful and content and make my stay in of all the Rings of Joy long today:

 

The Ring of Fulfillment and thereby fulfillment, interest, meaningfulness and oneness

 

The Ring of God-centeredness and thereby open-mindedness, empowerment, joy and gratitude

The Ring of Emotional Sobriety and thereby detachment, integrity, respect for self and respect for others

 

The Big Ring of Joy and thereby faith, hope, love and truth

 

The Small Ring of Faith and thereby generosity, trust, prosperity and accountability

 

The Small Ring of Hope and thereby credence, information, discernment and serenity

 

The Small Ring of Love and thereby admitting, self-acceptance, health and sanity

 

The Small Ring of Truth and thereby humility, honesty, individuality and fellowship

 

The Miniring of Faith and thereby largesse, letting go, wellbeing and sharing

 

The Miniring of Hope and thereby safety, well-informedness, clarity and nobleness

 

The Miniring of Love and thereby goodwill, kindness, calmness and patience

 

The Miniring of Truth and thereby equality, tolerance, accuracy and belongingness

 

The Microring of Faith and thereby consideration, equanimity, freedom of action and contributing

 

The Microring of Hope and thereby appreciation, teachableness, openness and worthiness

 

The Microring of Love and thereby amiability, forgiveness, conciliatory and sweetness

 

The Microring of Truth and thereby respectfulness, straightforwardness, precision and togetherness

 

The Nanoring of Faith and thereby approachability, light-heartedness, validation and involvement

 

The Nanoring of Hope and thereby certainty, cultivatedness, resolution and level-headedness

 

The Nanoring of Love and thereby acceptance, willingness, quietness and flexibility

 

The Nanoring of Truth and thereby sincerity, simplicity, reliability and familiarity

 

THANK YOU!

 

Contents part 2

THE SMILE MEDITATION 

 

In context with our use of the Pain Prayer and the Joy Prayer, we can also choose to use The Smile Meditation to intensify the effect of our prayers.

In it we use the healing power of our smile together with the healing power from the central part of our brain’s hormone-producing center, where the thalamus-, hypothalamus-, pineal- and the pituitary gland meet in one and the same area in the center of our brain so as to become able heal pain both inward in ourselves and outward in the outside World.

This central area of our brain together with the healing power of a smile has been used by spiritual masters for millennia as an object of contemplation and has createdmanifested the smiling eyes that are so well known in spiritual masters.

 

The central area in the brain has been named the cave of Brahma in Hinduism and the Crystal Palace in Taoism.


1. Sit comfortably with your spine in an upright position and your head straight in a way that allow the muscles of your neck and throat to feel relaxed.

2. Take a couple of deep, slow breaths, noticing how your abdomen rises and falls.

3. Rest the tip of your tongue gently on the roof of your mouth, somewhere behind and close to your upper front teeth.

4. Smile gently, allowing your lips to feel full and smooth as they spread to the side and lift just slightly. This smile should be like the Mona Lisa smile or how we might smile - mostly to ourselves - if we had just gotten a joke that someone told us several days ago.

5.
Now bring your attention to the space between your eyebrows.

As you rest your attention there, energy will begin to gather and as energy pools there, let your attention drift deeper into that pool - back and toward the center of your head.


6.
Let your attention rest now right in the center of your brain. Feel the energy gathering in this powerful place.
.
7.
Allow this energy gathering to flow forward into your eyes. Feel your eyes becoming "smiling eyes."

8.
To enhance this, you can imagine that you're gazing into the eyes of the person you love the most, and they're gazing back at you in the same way ... infusing your eyes with this quality of loving-kindness and delight.

9.
Now, direct the energy of your smiling eyes into some place in your body that would like some of this healing energy or to some area in your emotions or your thoughts that would like some of this healing energy, but decide in advance if you want to address a pain in your body or you emotions or your thoughts today and focus accordingly.

10. Let the painful spot absorb the smile energy like a sponge absorbs water.
It might be a place where you've recently had an injury or illness. It might be a place that just feels a little numb or "sleepy," or simply some place you've not recently taken care of.

In any case, smile down into that place within your body, your emotions or your thoughts, and observe how that place, that emotion or that thought opens up to receive the smile-energy.


11. When the place is saturated, direct your inner gaze with its smile-energy into your solar plexus center,
feeling that warmth and brightness is gathering there now below your breastbone.

12. Release the tip of the tongue from the roof of your mouth and release the smile or keep it.

13. If you wish, you can - in the course of your day - choose to look at life around you with your smiling eyes and your smiling lips and thereby transfer the healing energy of your smiling eyes and your smiling lips to your surroundings, especially if you see a human being or an animal suffering from stress or other painful conditions.

 

Contents part 2

 

EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE – EFT

In addition to working with the Prayer of Pain, the Prayer of Joy, and the Smile Meditation, a spiritual aspirant can choose to work with The Constructive and The Destructive Rings by the help of Emotional Freedom Technique by following the suggestions for this work in the book One suggestion to work with The Constructive and the Destructive Rings and their Super Strings for readers of The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order.


THE SPOKEN AND THE WRITTEN WORD

 

The first step towards love is honesty towards oneself and others.


The difficulty about honesty consists in that the truth cannot be said or written.

 

Truth IS.


No matter how many times a person says or writes the word chair, the word will never become the chair, and therefore honesty consists in the person expressing the truth about his/her existential experiences, as they appear to be to the person right HERE right NOW, while at the same time being fully aware that his/her image of Reality changes day by day, hour by hour, and that he/she thus expresses a limited and insufficient image in a limited and insufficient way.

 

 

THE ETERNAL TRUTHS

 

When spiritual teachers speak or write about that which is called The Eternal Truths, they also give a limited and insufficient image in a limited and insufficient way of their limited and insufficient understanding of how the spiritual dimensions affect life on Earth, although their limited image was sufficient to expand the understanding of the existential experiences of the people for whom it was meant at that particular time.


Moreover, these descriptions come from persons from many nations across the World and they go way back in the existence of humankind, and one can use the different descriptions to compare narratives through millennia from all parts of the World and thereby discover that a core is found which repeats itself in all these narrations, and it is this core which is referred to under the concept The Eternal Truths.

 

 

DISPUTE ABOUT WORDS

 

Spiritual teachers often use to compare phenomenon from other dimensions with something which is known from the third dimension by most of their contemporaries.


In this way, they try to
give an initial  understanding to people who do not have experiences in the field themselves.


The disadvantage of using parables is that the comparisons get outdated when the societies develop new habits and new aids, and that many spiritual seekers enter into endless disputes about words to decide who possesses the correct understanding.

 

 

THE END OF THE DISPUTE

 

If you want to exchange existential information with others, one-on-one or in groups, you can let everybody who wants to express his/her perspective on a given topic speak and listen to the speaker in silence and without comments.


Then, you can take what is useful to you from the perspective of the others and let that be which you do not want to make use of, while at the same time, you understand that even if you cannot use all of the information for something, others find exactly that information which is useless to you useful for them, and therefore, all contributions are equally valuable.

 

 

HELL

 

One day, light was shed on the problem of suffering in a conversation between the Master and us.


A disciple asked if hell exists.


The Master laughed and said: "Yes, it is found on Earth. Earth is that place where sufferings are found everywhere, even if it is sometimes in very subtle forms."

 

 

LIBERATION 1

 

The Master added that the minimum goal for those who wish to liberate themselves from sufferings is to liberate themselves from those dependencies that bind them to Earth and thus liberate themselves from rebirth to Earth.


This he called liberation.

 

 

PAIN VERSUS SUFFERING

 

This conversation made me think about pain and suffering, and I came to perceive pain as a short-lived signal of action and suffering as a prolonged feeling of discomfort springing from my lack of willingness or capacity to perform the action that the pain ordains.

 

 

THE ETERNAL LIFE

 

TuTu explained that many years ago the consciousness of The Eternal Life was only present in prophets and spiritual teachers who had the task of guiding humankind.


Today, it is present in many who have memories from their previous incarnations and in many others who have chosen to have confidence in that reincarnation is a fact.


Besides, it is possible today for anybody who wants to, to contact his/her previous lives by doing consciousness-travels on their own time track and thereby investigate the matter personally.

 

 

EX CALIBUR

 

When I began to come across information that death is not the end of it all, I dared not believe it.


Even at the time when I traveled into the other spheres of existence and spoke with departed Souls, I dared not believe that my experiences were real.


In the end, I decided to weigh the pros and cons in taking my experiences to heart.

 
If I perceived them to be an expression of an overactive fantasy or downright insanity, they were out of contact with Reality and therefore worthless, and then I was a confused person who could not see the difference between Reality and the unreal.


If I perceived them as an expression of a special capacity to get into contact with higher dimensions, I was in conformity with Reality, and then I was a person with a talent.


Last, but not least, these experiences were so enriching that I reluctantly abstained from them, but exactly that scared me most of all.


If I took them to heart because they enriched my life for the moment, and it later proved that they were a mirage, then I had wasted my life on something unreal instead of using it for something better, and thereby, I would be worse off later than I would be now if I renounced them.


I realized that I was faced with Ex Calibur, the magical sword in the stone, which is so strongly submerged in the stone that even the biggest giants of the country cannot dislodge it.


A chosen hero comes to the stone and lifts the sword so easily as if it had never been stuck.


Ex Calibur is a symbol of the power of discernment, the stone a symbol of Mother Earth and the chosen hero a symbol of the one who heroically liberates his/her power of discernment from the earthbound.


I decided to lift the Ex Calibur, trusting my experiences to be my true Self’s answer to my desire to attain knowledge about death.

 

 

THE PHYSICAL DEATH

 

My experiences gave me the impression that death is a process where, at first, the dying persons are liberated from the physical body by the chakras beginning to close from the bottom up, and in this way, the dying persons get help to leave the body through the crown chakra.

 

Contents part 2

 

THE JUDGEMENT

 

When the person moves on, he/she goes through the Gate of Death and then into a special meditation where he/she meets God's Light of Love, is penetrated by it and look at his/her life for two days in this light.


In this phase, joy arises about those times where the person in question acted in conformity with the insight it gives him/her to look at his/her actions in The Light of Love, and pain arises about those times where he/she have not done so.


The pain expresses itself in a heartfelt desire to make amends for those actions which are not in conformity with love for oneself and one's neighbor.


This is the judgment.

 

 

THE RESURRECTION

 

Thereby, the physical and psychological stages of death are complete, and the departed person goes on to the higher Worlds on the third day.


Normally, the resurrected person begins life in the fifth dimension by teaching others who are about to incarnate by telling them about his/her experiences on Earth.

 

 

THE ASPIRANT

 

Besides this, he/she meets his/her spiritual guide and gets an opportunity to express his/her desires for a life to come.


Together, they find out which areas the aspirant wants to work with to have his/her desires fulfilled.


Perhaps the aspirant remembers his/her experiences in The Light of Love and expresses some of the desires that arose there.


Beyond this, the aspirant can have a desire for special circumstances, for example, to become a beauty queen, an explorer or other special aspiration.

 

 

DESIRES

 

The vast majority remember their experiences in The Light of Love vaguely or not at all, and thus, they do not have any special desires other than meeting again with those they loved, or being successful in fulfilling the unfulfilled desires they had last time around, for example, getting a business, a house, liberating themselves from material distress and so on.

 

But even if they do not remember their desires from their stay in The Light of Love, these desires lie like seeds in the consciousness of their Spirit that holds all of their experiences together with those desires which cannot be fulfilled in their life to come due to the limitation of time.


All desires appear again, when time is ripe, until all desires are fulfilled.

 

 

THE LAW OF MERCY

 

It is impossible for any human being to make amends for all those actions which the person wants to make amends for by looking at them in The Light of Love, but if a person sincerely repents a given action and therefore does not repeat it any more, or at least does not repeat it in the same way, this person comes under the Law of Mercy, and thereby the slate is wiped clean in context with this particular area for this person.


The true Self then connects those who want to have restoration for the acts of others in their previous lives with those who want to make amends to others, who do not seek to achieve it anymore, and thus the Law of Mercy becomes beneficial for all.

 

 

PERSONAL CAPACITY

 

The ideas of the aspirants as to how they attain the fulfillment of their desires are very different from each other, depending on their respective capacity to understand the extent of the acts which are required for the fulfillment of their desires, but if they do not seek guidance as to how they can have their desires fulfilled in the shortest possible time, there is nobody who corrects them.


They have all of eternity at their disposal, and it is more important that they have all their desires fulfilled and all their ideas tested than achieving their goals in one single life, because they will have all of their desires fulfilled in the long run anyway.


Sometimes, the aspirants have some desires which cannot be met, because they don’t have the required capacity to handle the circumstances that they want to experience.


In such instances, they receive guidance as to how they can develop the required capacity, and a longer series of incarnations may come into question.


Then, they decide if instead they want to let go of their desire, and with this the guidance is over.

 

 

BACK TO LIFE ON EARTH

 

The work begins with finding the appropriate Fellowship and parents who are willing to offer the aspirant the circumstance which he/she wants to experience.


This process can take a short or a long time depending on how special the desires of the aspirant are, and then, he/she is ready for incarnation.

 

 

LIBERATION 2

 

If the aspirant has had all of his/her earthly desires fulfilled and therefore does not have any desires which need be fulfilled on Earth, he/she has achieved liberation, so unless, at some point, he/she wants to incarnate on Earth to perform a special task the aspirant’s return to Earth is over.


Instead, this aspirant’s life continues in the higher dimensions, and the fulfillment of his/her desires in that context is planned together with the spiritual guide accordingly.

 

 

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

 

TuTu explained that the prophets of the past passed on their knowledge in the form of injunctions and prohibitions to protect humankind from straying out onto many wild paths as a result of the human limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality, but this is no longer required because the general education of the many at the present time has reached a stage where it is possible to tell The Eternal Truths by the help of concepts which were formerly inaccessible to the many, and thus today the individual person can decide for himself/herself by considering the advantages and disadvantages of taking the statements of the prophets to heart.


Therefore, a revised version of the Ten Commandments follows below, where the word 'commandment' is changed to 'statement', the word 'must' is changed to 'can' and the Commandment of Love: 'You must love your God with all your heart, with all your Soul, with all your mind and your neighbor as yourself ”is included as the Eleventh Statement.

 

Contents part 2

 

THE FIRST STATEMENT

 

The first statement then read: "You cannot have other Gods/Goddesses than me."


God is perfect and unconditional love, and when a man/woman meets his/her Spirit Mate, the perfect and unconditional love comes to life in his/her heart, and thus he/she becomes able to experience God through his/her own perfect and unconditional love for his/her Spirit Mate.

 

 

IDOLATRY

 

If a person does not have a conscious contact with his/her Spirit Mate in the outer or inner Worlds, this person has an underlying feeling of existential abandonment and loneliness no matter how many people the person is together with.

 

Under such circumstances, the person in question may attempt to escape these emotions in various ways, for example, by exclusively being preoccupied with alcohol, drugs, nicotine, food, compulsive spending, sex, romantic relationships, codependency, family affairs, children, work, money, power, prestige, fame, material or spiritual ambitions, or any other activity he/she makes use of to escape these emotions.


Because the feeling of abandonment and loneliness cannot be removed in this way, in utter desperation, such people may become more and more consumed by their chosen escape attempts in their continuous attempts to fill the void with more and more of their choice, until in the end, their choice becomes an obsession that governs and controls all areas of their lives.


This is called idolatry.


However, a time will come when the addicted person realizes that he/she is compelled to carry out many actions that he/she does not want to so as to escape these emotions, without succeeding.

 

When the person reaches this point, he/she feels compelled to find ways of giving up the chosen addiction and continue his/her search for that which can remove the feelings of abandonment and loneliness.


This search continues until the person attains his/her conscious contact with his/her Spirit Mate, his/her Eternal Beloved either in the outer or the inner World and thereby feels the abandonment and loneliness slowly fade, and thus it is not possible to have an idol as your God/Goddess in the long run

 

 

THE SECOND STATEMENT

 

The second statement then read: "You cannot make yourself an idol."


When a person enters various addictions, he/she forms an idol, but since only the interaction between oneself and one's Spirit Mate can fill the existential void, he/she cannot form an idol and keep it.

 

 

THE THIRD STATEMENT

 

The third statement read: "You cannot misuse the name of your God/Goddess."


Yearning for his/her Spirit Mate, a person may try to give that love which belongs to his/her Spirit Mate to someone or something else, but this is an intermediary solution, because a time always comes when the person realizes that the intermediary solution does not fill the existential void, and thus it is not possible in the long run to call anything or anybody but one’s Spirit Mate for one's God/Goddess.

 

 

THE FOURTH STATEMENT

 

The fourth statement is unchanged: "Remember the day of rest to keep it holy."


TuTu added that the societies have a habit of forcing its members to work when they need rest, but in doing so you act against the holy body, because honest citizens feel compelled, subconsciously, to contract various illnesses to be able to feel that they have earned the right to rest.


It will be an advantage, both to society and to the individual, if instead, you choose to let the individual decide for himself/herself as to when and how much rest he/she needs, and at the same time, consider this need to be holy so that nobody has to harm his/her body by contracting illnesses that can be avoided.

 

 

THE FIFTH STATEMENT

 

The fifth statement: "Honor your father and your mother" is unchanged.


The parents give the child life, and anybody who gives this gift is entitled to be met with honor and respect, even if the birth is the only obligation which the parents have been willing to take on in many cases.


A child who comes into life in this way calls for a united endeavor from society.


By the help of this child, society can learn to cooperate about contributing to the flowering of life by providing the maximum options for such a child who does not have the support of his/her parents during growth, and in this way, the life of the child can be a gift to society.


The ideal is a society where everyone feels that all children belong to everybody, because everybody feels responsible for the children to thrive knowing very well that the harm you do to children will rebound on society when the child becomes an adult and begins acting in accordance with his/her experiences as a child.


Any child knows at heart that the love of a parent is only surpassed by the love of the only one, and anything the parents do is perceived to be an expression of love by the child.


When the child grows up, he/she will express his/her love the way he/she got to know love in his/her childhood, and in the subconscious mind of the adult who acts in undesirable ways, seen with the eyes of society, confusion arises and then anger, because nobody seems to understand his/her expression of love, and no amount of opposition, ridicule or punishment will stop such a person.


He/she will only try harder and harder to express his/her love, hoping that it will be understood and appreciated sooner or later.

 

However, sometimes parents misuse this statement to demand undue respect from their children by demanding obedience from the child rather than teaching the child to follow his/her own heart's guidance.

 

Trying to usurp authority over the child's fate with this type of demands is a misuse of the parental role as guardian angels for the child.

 

The child, at all times, has the right to follow his/her own ideas and perceptions of what will make him/her happy, while at the same time, being willing to listen and follow the guidance and advice of the parents, but having the right to respectfully decline the suggestions from the parents, if there is a conflict between the two.

 

Contents part 2

 

THE SIXTH STATEMENT

 

The sixth statement read: "You cannot kill."


Life is eternal for everyone, and thus you cannot kill, but if a person interrupts another person's life on Earth, this person is called a murderer and his/her action means that the murdered person does not get the opportunity to execute his/her errand on Earth, and this will not only affect the murdered person but also all those people who were supposed to benefit from his/her presence on Earth.


When the murderer himself/herself dies, the moment comes where he/she has to look at his/her action in the Light of Love, and at this point, the pain arises because of this action together with a desire to make amends to everyone involved.


This desire will be fulfilled and this work is enough on its own, but if society chooses to murder the one who murdered, those members of society who take upon themselves to sentence others to death or become murderers themselves, as a job they perform in their daily lives, will come to look at their actions in the Light of Love, grieve over them and later have their wish fulfilled to make amends, because it rests on no one to judge or to take a life.

 

 

HONOR WHERE HONOR IS DUE

 

However, the condition of life is that we all have to eat by shedding innocent blood, but when we do this, we can receive the gift of life from the being we eat, whether this is a plant or an animal, with the reverence that is due to the one who lets down his/her life for us to live.

 

 

THE SEVENTH STATEMENT

 

The seventh statement then read: "You cannot commit adultery."


A marriage cannot be instituted by any society.


Such an act exclusively consists in securing the material well-being of the woman, who is suppressed in many societies, but now time is ripe where this treatment of women is coming to an end, and this gives both the man and the woman the option of leaving a marriage which is not instituted by God.

 

The sign that a marriage is instituted by God is that the couple is blessed with a love for each other that is so powerful that it binds the couple to each other with ties so strong that not even they themselves can break them.

 

In some cases, two people may marry out of convenience hoping that this union will lead them to the love residing in their innermost heart, but that love belongs exclusively to their Spirit Mate, and such a love cannot be forced by reasons of convenience.

 

However, anybody has the right to fulfill their sexual needs in whichever way they can as long as it happens without hurting themselves or another.

 

But only when one come together with one’s Spirit Mate can one become able to unite the sexual act with a perfect love, and thus one cannot commit adultery.

 

 

THE EIGHTH STATEMENT

 

The eighth statement is changed to: "You cannot steal."


One who appropriates something that doesn’t belong to him/her has to look at this act in the Light of Love and later have his/her desire fulfilled to make amends to the plundered person and all the others who were affected by this looting.

 

 

THE NINTH STATEMENT

 

The ninth statement is changed to: "You cannot falsely accuse."


One who does this will later want to make amends to the falsely accused, and thus truth will always triumph in the end.

 

 

THE TENTH STATEMENT

 

The tenth statement: "You cannot desire that which belongs to your neighbor."

Anybody has the right to desire anything, but if a person desires something which belongs to another, the fulfillment of the desire will not createmanifest the satisfaction the person hoped for, and thereby, he/she himself/herself will let go of his/her desire in the end.

 

 

THE ELEVENTH STATEMENT

 

In the eleventh statement, the word ‘shall’ is changed into ‘can only’ or ‘can’ and the words 'from this stage' are added.

"You can love only your God/Goddess with all your heart and all your Soul and all your mind, and from this stage you can love your neighbor as yourself."


Until a person achieves contact with his/her Spirit Mate, his/her Eternal Beloved in the outer or the inner Worlds, that place in the innermost heart which belongs to his/her Spirit Mate is experienced as abandoned, and thus the person is not able to love of all his/her heart and all his/her Soul and all his/her mind.


When a person achieves contact with his/her Spirit Mate in the outer or the inner Worlds, his/her heart is purified of all false conceptions of God.


Eventually, this leads the couple to The Spiritual Wedding, during which a merger takes place in the Absolute, and thereby, he/she become able to love his/her God/Goddess with all his/her heart and all his/her Soul and all his/her mind, and from this stage, he/she recognizes himself/herself and his/her Spirit Mate in everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence, and in this way, he/she becomes able to love his/her neighbor as himself/herself
.

 

 

THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF TUTU

 

The below photograph of TuTu is one of a series of four and has been createdmanifested by him, by him posing in front of a mirror and letting the flashlight from the camera createmanifest the light phenomenon on his heart, while at the same time, a spot of light reflected from his watch became the spot of light on his forehead.


It took him four attempts to make the spot of light on the forehead find its exact place.


It illustrates a principle, which is true for all of us.


The photographs of his hands were taken on the photocopying machine in Sundholm and show the lines in his palms for anybody who would be interested in studying those.

 

Contents part 2

 

HARISHCHANDRA TUTU

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LIKE THE MOON REFLECTS THE LIGHT OF THE SUN

THE EMOTIONS REFLECT THE LIGHT OF THE THOUGHTS

 

 

TUTU’S HANDS

 

 

 

 

GREETINGS TO ALL

 

 

THE PERSONAL


 

ANGER AND REVENGEFULNESS

 

I kept wondering why the Master had not accepted that I had the right to be angry with my co-travelers, who had left without asking the rest of us if we wanted to come along.


One day, I came across a guideline in one of his books, which read: "Don't be revengeful about mistakes done by others. Receive them in gratitude as heavenly gifts."


This, I thought, was disadvantageous and unfair.


 

I had learned that when somebody committed a mistake, they could learn to stop making mistakes if somebody punished them for it; so according to my perception, it was not only my right but also my duty to punish the others if I wanted to be a good person, and at the same time prevent the mistakes of others to be taken out on me in the future.


Later, I became able to take the Master’s suggestion to heart by choosing to work on changing the emotions and thoughts that arise in me when I think that others have made a mistake, instead of demanding that others must change in conformity with my perception of the right thing.


If I discover that I was materially, physically, energetically, emotionally, mentally, socially or spiritually harmed by the mistakes made by another, I used this information to decide how to avoid getting myself into a similar situation in the future and then acted in accordance with that
.

 

Contents part 2

 

ARROGANCE 2

 

It made a deep impression in me that I had cried from shame about my arrogance and my impatience during the Master’s morning sitting.


When I came back to Copenhagen, I wanted to live up to my promise to myself that I would never again allow myself to be like that, and I began observing when either of these two emotions arose.


When I observed them, I tried to fight them, but a number of years passed before I realized that I could not get rid of them by deciding that they were not allowed to be there, and they did not go away just because I suppressed them or denied them.

 

Since I did not know what else to do, I began praying a couple of times every day, to be granted learning as to how to become humble and patient.


That went on for a couple of years after which I was whirled into many dramatic events that eventually landed me in Narcotics Anonymous.


Until then, I had connected humility with humiliation, and therefore I thought that I had to make myself small and submissive if I wanted to become humble.


Now, I was told that I had to find that place within me where I felt that I was neither more nor less than others if I wanted to achieve my goal.


I had thought that it was arrogance when I felt that I was more than others, but not that it was also so when I felt that I was less than others.


Then
, I was told that I had to first accept possessing the feeling of arrogance to be able to investigate under which circumstances it arose and what results I achieved from the actions I did under the influence of my arrogance.


Now that I knew what goal I had to strive for, I began investigating the issue.


First, I searched for an intellectual stand, where I could accept that I was neither more nor less than others.


I found this when I spotted the paradox that I was unique and that it was totally common to be so.


If I placed my thumb on something, there was not one fingerprint in the World similar to mine, and so I was unique, but so was everybody else!


Then, I investigated when my arrogance arose.


My feeling of being less than others became particularly predominant if I spotted the beauty and qualities of others, or if others got more attention from the people I wanted to get attention from.


If others behaved in ways that I thought implied that they considered me to be nothing, particularly if it was people whom I secretly admired, or if they were figures of authority, I got angry and revengeful, but I thought they were right.


I was nothing.


When, for some time, I had felt that I was nothing, I shook it off by thinking that if others really knew me they would discover that, in Reality, I was better than most.

 

At this point, I found various reasons that supported this perception.


If others expressed that they found me better than most, I became suspicious of their motives.

 

I believed that they said so to console me, because, in Reality, I was less than most, or because they wanted something from me, or else I thought that this was due to the fact that they didn’t really know me.


Now, I could see that I was in an endless swing in the pendulum of arrogance from more than to less than others and back again.


I kept asking myself why it was so important for me to compare my size with that of others, and what it was that I had to be for myself to think that I was good enough as I was, until I discovered my most secret thinking.


I had to be good enough for the prince on the white horse.


Secretly, I waited for him to come and take me in his arms and ride away with me, away from all the dull and gray, and then we were going to get married and live happily ever after, but for him to choose me I had to be better than others.


Yes, actually I had to be better than a real princess.


I had long since forgotten this dream, because I thought it was too embarrassing that I was so childish, but nevertheless, this hope lived in best of health, as a shadow under the threshold of my day-consciousness.

 

 

THE FEMALE ARCHETYPE OF THE SPIRITUAL WEDDING

 

In my opinion, the fairy tale of the prince on the white horse is an archetypal description of that couple that wish to return to the Absolute love, seen from the feminine perspective.


In this fairy tale, the prince always prefers a poor girl with a pure heart, which he finds nobler than the one he finds in the real princess he is expected to marry.


The prince shows up in her life because of a strange coincidence of events which are outside both his and the girl’s control, and she had not even considered that it is now that something great is about to happen, namely the meeting with her one and only.

 

The prince is the only one who discovers that the poor girl is his heart’s chosen one.


Everybody else expect that he will marry the real princess, and his love for the poor girl is met with great resistance by the environment.


Sometimes, he forgets her when he returns to the castle.


This can make her take into use the magical powers which she is already equipped with, or which she receives in a mystical way and that suits her purpose, which is to make the prince remember her.


Sometimes, a curse is thrown on the prince when he returns to the castle, but the poor girl understands that he is bewitched and finds ways of reaching him anyway.


In certain instances, she transforms herself into an animal.


The animal approaches him in some way or the other, and now he remembers the poor girl, begins to look for her and finds her in the end.


Sometimes, it happens that, at first, the prince comes in the form of a toad, but her heart knows that he is not an ordinary toad, and when she kisses him in spite of his repelling and unacceptable condition, he transforms into the prince she is waiting for.


Sometimes, she sleeps for hundreds of years, while she is waiting for him to come and wake her up.


The environment exposes their love to incredible hardships, but because of mystical and unusual intervention in events, they overcome all opposition and all troubles in the end.

 
The prince takes her with him to his castle.


A big wedding is held, and they live happily ever after.

 

Contents part 2

 

INTERPRETATION OF THE ARCHETYPE

 

As I understand it, the symbols of the fairy tale describe the energies that play together in the archetype so as to bring about the Spiritual Wedding.


The prince symbolizes the love that recognizes his one and only even in a depleted state.


The poor girl symbolizes the one who doesn’t have anything to offer, which justifies his choice.


The mystical unplanned circumstances that cause their meeting are a symbol of the true Self’s steering of events, and their meeting is a symbol of the meeting with the true great love.


That he forgets her at his return to the castle shows his attachment to his habitual environment.


That a curse is cast upon him shows that which hinders him in seeing clearly.


Her magical powers show the qualities of character that she has developed.


The activation of her magical powers illustrates the activation of her hidden and apparent qualities of character to reach the goal, which is to make the prince remember her.


The mystical events that come to the rescue of the couple, when it all is about to go wrong, illustrates the help of the true Self to the couple.


That she reaches to him in spite of the curse symbolizes the power of penetration of her love.


Her transformation into an animal is a symbol of her use of her deepest instincts to reach him.


To kiss the toad illustrates her ability to recognize the only one behind repulsive and unacceptable appearances.


The resistance of the environment shows the contribution of the World towards the purification of their love.


That she sleeps for hundreds of years shows that even if he is long in coming, only the meeting with him is of interest to her.


That the prince takes her with him expresses his definite choice.


The big wedding symbolizes the Spiritual Wedding.


That they lived happily ever after symbolizes their immersion in God’s Light of Love, until creationmanifestation begins anew.

 

 

THE MALE ARCHETYPE OF THE SPIRITUAL WEDDING

 

Seen from the masculine perspective, his fairy tale is that he is a poor boy who doesn’t have anything to offer a princess.


Many in the country court the princess and show many good qualities, but she is not interested in any of them.


Sometimes, he sees the princess for the first time because she is out among the ordinary people in his town, and he senses immediately that she is his only one.


When he decides to court her, everybody thinks that he is an ignorant fool for thinking that a princess would want him, and sometimes, he cannot get access to the castle to meet her, but because of mystical coincidences he succeeds in getting in anyway and in proposing.


Sometimes, the princess says yes immediately, because he shows special qualities which others do not find attractive but which are to the special liking of the princess, and they marry.

 

It happens that the environment interferes in the situation with curses and bewitches, which leads the couple astray.


Sometimes, she exposes him to various tests to see if he is the one she has been waiting for.


Sometimes, the king is not interested in having him as a son-in-law unless he shows unusual courage, unusual power of action, unusual wisdom or unusual strength, and therefore, first he has to kill a dragon which is pestering the realm or find a magical treasure that nobody else can get hold of and bring it to the king.


Sometimes, a dragon has captured the princess, and the king has promised her and half the realm to the one who frees her.


He sets out in confidence of his destiny, but sometimes he gets problems.


Then, it may happen that a being turns up in a mystical way and helps him by providing him with magical powers or magical things.


In the process, he develops the required qualities, passes all the tests and wins the princess in the end
.


A grand wedding is held, and they live happily ever after.

 

 

REDEMPTION

 

Through self-investigation, I found out that I had made a decision as a child, which, until now, was lying like a shadow under the threshold of my day-consciousness together with the hope that the prince would come to marry me.


I had decided that I might as well make myself ready while I was waiting so as to make sure that he chose me.


A proof that I was ready was that I had a more noble heart than a princess.


I was not able to evaluate the condition of my heart, but if others confirmed that I had a noble heart, it had to be true, and then I was ready.


As there was nothing indicating that others found my heart nobler than that of others, I had to change.


If I changed that which I or others did not like about me, if I became better in doing this or that, if I thought in a different way, felt in a different way, acted in a different way, then others had to confirm that my heart was noble, and if everybody agreed on it, the prince also had to be able to see it.


Since I now knew why it meant so much to me to be better than others, I investigated how the things I did worked, and realized that exactly my arrogance and impatience were the properties which separated TuTu and me over and over again, and the actions I had done under the influence of these emotions had cost both me, him and others much pain.


I was seized by pain when I faced all of this, but when the pain subsided, I became grateful that I no longer had to fight to achieve a confirmation from others indicating that I had a heart that was nobler than that of a princess.


My heart was good enough.

 

It needed not be better than the heart of others, because the goal of my heart had been to become the bride of the prince.


TuTu was my prince, and he had found the qualities of my heart good enough to make his definitive choice and lead me to God’s Sacred Altar, to enter into his Spiritual Wedding with me.

 

Contents part 2

 

IMPATIENCE

 

Only after I worked through the two spiritual Programs suggested in this book did I realize that when I took my arrogance into use, it meant that all of the four powers in the Big Ring of Pain became active in me, because they constitute one mental-emotional pattern.


Thus, I discovered that avarice, envy and hatred are companions of my arrogance together with all the defects of character described in the Small Rings of Pain.


Besides these all the other defects of character that are companions to the defects of character in The Big Ring of Pain, such as the Small Rings-, the Minirings-, the Microrings and the Nanorings of Pain also arose in me, as these Rings are like a Chinese box system and thus I became aware that my usage of the mental-emotional pattern in the Big Ring of Pain lead to my irritability and impatience that belongs in the Miniring of Hatred with its ill will, unkindness, irritation and impatience.


Until I realized this, I considered my irritability and impatience to be comparatively innocent flaws in my character but now I discovered that, in Reality, they led to my usage of the Small Rings of Pain, The Big Ring of Pain, the Ring of Codependency, the Ring of Self-centeredness and the Ring of Emptiness upwards and the Microrings- and the Nanorings of Pain downwards.


I also had to face the fact that it was from my use of these mental-emotional patterns that all my existential pains sprang, and however unpleasant it was to admit that I possessed these defects of character, it was necessary for me to do so, so as to be able to begin observing them and their consequences.


By the help of my observations, I discovered that a desire was always to be found at the root of any of my defects of character, and that when I denied them, I actually cut off myself from discovering what I wanted innermost, not to mention having that desire fulfilled or choosing to let go of it.


At the same time, the concept of defects of character became a neutral concept for me in the same way as I did not have any painful emotions by the thought of a defective radio, because I realized that this concept only expressed that I used a defective mental-emotional pattern, that is, a pattern which does not work according to intention - the intention always and without exception being of a loving, caring, compassionate and merciful nature - in an attempt to have a desire fulfilled which I was not even aware of having.

 
When I began acknowledging my use of my defects of character, I became aware that my defects of character hold information about myself and my existence, which I cannot get access to in any other way than acknowledging them, investigating them, taking to heart the message they hold.

 

However, it took me completely by surprise that it was the pain in my defects of character that led me to spiritual enlightenment, because I realized that as long as everything in my life went smoothly, I did not stop to think about my existence, but when I encountered resistance whether it sprang from painful emotions from within or from opposition in my surroundings, I paused to investigate more thoroughly the cause for this.

 

At first, I thought that I had to find the root of the pain or the opposition, so as to rid myself of these pains or overcome this resistance.

 

After having worked on this issue for quite a while with this motive, I discovered that I believed I had to rid myself of the pain and the opposition, because I judged the pain and the opposition on a foundation of good and evil.


If instead, without judgments on good and evil, I redeemed myself by finding out the desires at the root of the character defect and used the Rings of Joy to begin the work of fulfilling those desires or letting go of them, I succeeded more often in having my desires fulfilled or letting go of them, while at the same time, it happened in a way where I felt a deep satisfaction about the accompanying emotions and thoughts
.

 

 

DEMONS

 

After I had found a way to work around my defects of character, at long last, the concept of demons fell into place in my psychological landscape.

For a long time, the concept of demons had appeared scary to me, but when, at long last, I acknowledged my defects of character and compared them to descriptions of demons, I realized that the concept of demons is used to symbolize the various characteristics and their consequences, which are also described in the form of the defects of character found in the Rings of Pain.

When I acknowledged my defects of character instead of suppressing or denying them, I discovered that all these terrifying demons turned out to be frightened little children inside of me who had a desire that they could not find out how to get fulfilled, and out of sheer fear, they hit out in all directions without knowing what they were doing.

Hence, I needed to take these little children – my defects of character, by the hand and guide them by the help of the Rings of Joy, so I could build up my wisdomgoddess, my Tara.

In the way I could become able to use my enlightened ego, all the wise and mature sides of myself to find a solution to all my ego-problems in a way that neither hurt me nor others in the process.

Also, I realized that the outer demons, that is resistance and opposition from the outer World, are not real.

They are projections of my own inner demons.

For example, if I was arrogant in my approach while asking for help from another human being, I am, in fact, calling out the demon of hatred in the other person.

Arrogance and hatred/suppressed anger are twins in the Big Ring of Pain, and the other person will feel no impetus to help me out when he/she is in the state of hatred/suppressed anger.

In that way I am cut off from receiving the help that I need, and if I then chose to see this resistance as a sign of ill-will from the other person, I had chosen to demonize the other person by mentally placing him/her in the Microring of Hatred with it ill will, unkindness, irritation and impatience instead of lovingly taking care of my own demon, my arrogance from the Microring of Arrogance with its disrespect, craftiness, distortion and separateness, and thereby being able to approach others with humility, at least when I needed their help.

 

 

SUDARSHAN CHAKRA

 

As a result of this inner purification work, I also became able to use Sudarshan chakra, which, in my opinion, is the divinely simplest way of working on my defects of character on a daily basis.


In the holy trinity of Hinduism they have three male gods: Brahma, Shiva and Vishnu and their wives Saraswati, Parvathi/Kali and Lakshmi.


These three gods or archetypes are also called: The Creator, The Destroyer and The Maintainer, and their wives are perceived to be Shakti or the manifestation of the qualities of their husbands.


Vishnu, The Maintainer, descends on Earth from his Divine abode and takes on a human form when humankind is in need of spiritual guidance of a Divine nature.


When Vishnu takes on his human form, he is also subjected to the conditions of a human being, and that means that also he is limited, ignorant, powerless and mortal and thereby fallible, but since Vishnu knows this prior to his descend, he brings with him his whirling ring of power, which lights up his inner World just as brightly as the sun lights up the outer World, and he uses it in his human life to neutralize all inner and outer demons.


This bright, whirling ring of power is called Sudarshan Chakra.


I have chosen to give Sudarshan chakra a name that is more easily understood by me and have therefore called it The Ring of Fulfillment.


It is the antidote to The Ring of Emptiness.

Contents part 2
 

THE HIERARCHY OF THE ARCHETYPAL RINGS

 

Below the Hierarchy of the Archetypal Rings is shown in order from the highest to the lowest.

 

Highest in this Hierarchy the Ring of Emptiness and the Ring of Fulfillment is to be found.

In Greek mythology the Ring of Emptiness is called Pandora’s Box.

Pandora’s Box is said to bring all the sufferings of the World to the one, who opens the box, and it is perceived to be the origin of all our defects of character.

In the Fellowships Anonymous the Ring of Fulfillment is called the God Box and i Hinduistic mythology it is called Sudarshan Chakra or the Sun Wheel.

The God Box is said to bring all the blessings of the World to the one, who opens the box, and it is perceived to be the origin of all of our virtues.

 

THE RING OF EMPTINESS AND THE RING OF FULFILLMENT

 

 

Second in this hierarchy is the Ring of Self-centeredness and the Ring of God-centeredness.

 

THE RING OF SELF-CENTEREDNESS AND OF GODCENTEREDNESS

 

 

When I use The Ring of God-centeredness, I choose to refrain from criticizing myself for the mistakes I think I have committed today, thereby avoiding bringing depression into being within myself.

 

Instead, I choose to open my mind to new ideas, as to how I can neutralize my mistakes or transform them to successes, whether the new ideas spring from inside or outside of me, and thereby I achieve an empowerment that makes it possible for me to come closer to the solution of my problems.

 

Instead of praising myself for the successes I think I have achieved today and thereby creatingmanifesting a short-lived euphoria or elation about how good I think I am, I choose to focus on my gratitude, because my inner guides or the people in my environment were willing to help me by thinking empowering thoughts on my behalf and thus helping me neutralize my failures or transform them into successes.

 

When, in that way, my failures are neutralized or transformed into successes, joy arises within me that this was possible because of my Fellowship with others both in my inner World and my outer World.

 

Third in this hierarchy are the Ring of the Savior Complex, also referred to as the Ring of Codependency, and the Ring of Emotional Sobriety.

 

THE RING OF CODEPENDENCY AND OF EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY

 

 

 

 

Fourth in the hierarchy are the Big Ring of Pain and the Big Ring of Joy.

 

THE BIG RING OF PAIN AND THE BIG RING OF JOY

 

 

The graph below with the many Rings illustrates the connections between the Big Rings of Pain and Joy with their corresponding Small Rings.

 

The various colors in the graphs illustrates a defect of character with its corresponding virtue in the same color, thus showing that it is the same energy that is held in both, but the defect of character is the unenlightened or immature and dysfunctional stage of the energy and the virtue is the fully enlightened or mature and functional stage of the energy

 

THE BIG AND THE SMALL RINGS OF PAIN

 

 

 

 

 

THE BIG AND THE SMALL RINGS OF JOY

 

 

 

Contents part 2

 

The undergrowth in the Ring of Emptiness and the Ring of Fulfillment is the Ring of Self-centeredness and the Ring of God-centeredness.

 

The undergrowth of the Ring of Self-centeredness and the Ring of God-centeredness is the Ring of Codependency and the Ring of Emotional Sobriety.

 

The undergrowth of the Ring of Codependency and the Ring of Emotional Sobriety is the Big Ring of Pain and the Big Ring of Joy.

 

The undergrowth of the Big Ring of Pain and the Big Ring of Joy is the Small Rings of Pain and the Small Rings of Joy.

 

The undergrowth of the Small Rings of Pain and the Small Rings of Joy is the Minirings of Pain and Joy.

 

The undergrowth of the Minirings of Pain and Joy are the Microrings of Pain and Joy and the undergrowth of the Microrings are the Nanorings as shown in the below graphs with the tables that comes after the two graphs.

 

If one pulls the corners of the graphs below the text becomes clear.

 

 THE BIG RING, THE SMALL-, MINI-, MICRO- AND NANORINGS OF PAIN
 

 

 

 

 

THE BIG RING, THE SMALL-, MINI-, MICRO- AND NANORINGS OF JOY

 

 

 

 

TABLE OF THE BIG RINGS, THE SMALL RINGS, THE MINI-RINGS, THE MICRO-RINGS AND AND THE NANO-RINGS OF PAIN (HORIZONTAL) AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS (VERTICAL OR DIAGONAL)

 

THE FOUR BIG RINGS OF PAIN AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

 

North

South

East

West

The Ring of Emptiness

Emptiness

Boredom

Meaninglessness

Loneliness

The Ring of Self-centeredness

Euphoria

Depression

Self-criticism

Self-praise

The Ring of Co-dependency

Savior-role

Seducer-role

Victim-role

Offender-role

The Big Ring of Pain

Avarice

Envy

Hatred

Arrogance

THE FOUR SMALL RINGS OF PAIN AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

 

North

South

East

West

Avarice

Stinginess

Greed

Poverty

Gluttony

Envy

Disbelief

Superstition

Submission

Defiance

Hatred

Denial

Manipulation

Disease

Madness

Arrogance

Superiority

Inferiority

Overcrowding

Isolation

THE FOUR MINI-RINGS OF PAIN AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

 

North

South

East

West

Avarice

Pettiness

Clinging

Malaise

Hoarding

Envy

Insecurity

Confusion

Unclarity

Wretchedness

Hatred

Ill will

Unkindness

Irritation

Impatience

Arrogance

Condescension

Intolerance

Exaggeration

Seclusion

THE FOUR MICRO-RINGS OF PAIN AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

 

North

South

East

West

Avarice

Selfishness

Hardness

Unfreedom

Negligence

Envy

Denigration

Insusceptibility

Narrowmindedness

Unworthiness

Hatred

Indignation

Vindictiveness

Belligerence

Bitterness

Arrogance

Disrespect

Craftiness

Distortion

Separateness

THE FOUR NANO-RINGS OF PAIN AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

 

North

South

East

West

Avarice

Inhibition

Nervousness

Complaining

Indifference

Envy

Uncertainty

Uncultivatedness

Indecision

Rashness

Hatred

Resentment

Unwillingness

Vociferousness

Stiff-neckedness

Arrogance

Insincerity

Cunning

Unreliability

Alienation

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

THE FOUR BIG RINGS OF PAIN AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

 

North

South

East

West

The Ring of Emptiness

Emptiness

Boredom

Meaninglessness

Loneliness

The Ring of Self-centeredness

Euphoria

Depression

Self-criticism

Self-praise

The Ring of Co-dependency

Savior-role

Seducer-role

Victim-role

Offender-role

The Big Ring of Pain

Avarice

Envy

Hatred

Arrogance

THE FOUR RINGS OF AVARICE AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

AVARICE

North

South

East

West

The Small Ring

Stinginess

Greed

Poverty

Gluttony

The Mini-ring

Pettiness

Clinging

Malaise

Hoarding

The Micro-ring

Selfishness

Hardness

Unfreedom

Negligence

The Nano-ring

Inhibition

Nervousness

Complaining

Indifference

THE FOUR RINGS OF ENVY AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

ENVY

North

South

East

West

The Small Ring

Disbelief

Superstition

Submission

Defiance

The Micro-ring

Denigration

Insusceptibility

Narrowmindedness

Unworthiness

The Nano-ring

Uncertainty

Uncultivatedness

Indecision

Rashness

THE FOUR RINGS OF HATRED/SUPPRESSED ANGER AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

HATRED

North

South

East

West

The Small Ring

Denial

Manipulation

Disease

Madness

The Mini-ring

Ill will

Unkindness

Irritation

Impatience

The Micro-ring

Indignation

Vindictiveness

Belligerence

Bitterness

The Nano-ring

Resentment

Unwillingness

Vociferousness

Stiff-neckedness

THE FOUR RINGS OF ARROGANCE AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

ARROGANCE

North

South

East

West

The Small Ring

Superiority

Inferiority

Overcrowding

Isolation

The Mini-ring

Condescension

Intolerance

Exaggeration

Seclusion

The Micro-ring

Disrespect

Craftiness

Distortion

Separateness

The Nano-ring

Insincerity

Cunning

Unreliability

Alienation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TABLE OF THE BIG RINGS, THE SMALL RINGS, THE MINI-RINGS, THE MICRO-RINGS AND THE NANO-RINGS OF JOY (HORIZONTAL) AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS (VERTICAL OR DIAGONAL)

 

THE FOUR BIG RINGS OF JOY AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

 

North

South

East

West

Ring of Fulfillment

Fulfillment

Interest

Meaningfulness

Oneness

Ring of God-centeredness

Joy

Empowerment

Open-mindedness

Gratitude

Ring of Emotional Sobriety

Detachment

Integrity

Respect for self

Respect for others

The Big Ring of Joy

Faith

Hope

Love

Truth

THE FOUR SMALL RINGS OF JOY AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

 

North

South

East

West

Faith

Generosity

Trust

Prosperity

Accountability

Hope

Credence

Information

Discernment

Serenity

Love

Admitting

Self-acceptance

Health

Sanity

Truth

Humility

Honesty

Individuality

Fellowship

THE FOUR MINI-RINGS OF JOY AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

 

North

South

East

West

Faith

Largesse

Letting go

Wellbeing

Sharing

Hope

Safety

Well-informedness

Clarity

Nobleness

Love

Goodwill

Kindness

Calmness

Patience

Truth

Equality

Tolerance

Accuracy

Belongingness

THE FOUR MICRO-RINGS OF JOY AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

 

North

South

East

West

Faith

Consideration

Ease

Action-freedom

Contributing

Hope

Appreciation

Teachableness

Openness

Worthiness

Love

Mercy

Forgiveness

Conciliatory

Sweetness

Truth

Respectfulness

Straightforwardness

Precision

Togetherness

THE FOUR NANO-RINGS OF JOY AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

 

North

South

East

West

Faith

Approachability

Light-heartedness

Approval

Involvement

Hope

Certainty

Cultivatedness

Resoluteness

Level-headedness

Love

Acceptance

Willingness

Quietness

Flexibility

Truth

Sincerity

Simplicity

Reliability

Familiarity

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

THE FOUR BIG RINGS OF JOY AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

 

North

South

East

West

Ring of Fulfillment

Fulfillment

Interest

Meaningfulness

Oneness

Ring of God-centeredness

Joy

Empowerment

Open-mindedness

Gratitude

Ring of Emotional Sobriety

Detachment

Integrity

Respect for self

Respect for others

The Big Ring of Joy

Faith

Hope

Love

Truth

THE FOUR RINGS OF FAITH AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

FAITH

North

South

East

West

The Small Ring

Generosity

Trust

Prosperity

Accountability

The Mini-ring

Largesse

Letting go

Wellbeing

Sharing

The Micro-ring

Consideration

Ease

Action-freedom

Contributing

The Nano-ring

Approachability

Light-heartedness

Approval

Involvement

THE FOUR RINGS OF HOPE AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

HOPE

North

South

East

West

The Small Ring

Credence

Information

Discernment

Serenity

The Mini-ring

Safety

Well-informedness

Clarity

Nobleness

The Micro-ring

Appreciation

Teachableness

Openness

Worthiness

The Nano-ring

Certainty

Cultivatedness

Resoluteness

Level-headedness

THE FOUR RINGS OF LOVE AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

LOVE

North

South

East

West

The Small Ring

Admitting

Self-acceptance

Health

Sanity

The Mini-ring

Goodwill

Kindness

Calmness

Patience

The Micro-ring

Mercy

Forgiveness

Conciliatory

Sweetness

The Nano-ring

Acceptance

Willingness

Quietness

Flexibility

THE FOUR RINGS OF TRUTH AND THEIR SUPERSTRINGS

TRUTH

North

South

East

West

The Small Ring

Humility

Honesty

Individuality

Fellowship

The Mini-ring

Equality

Tolerance

Accuracy

Belongingness

The Micro-ring

Respectfulness

Straightforwardness

Precision

Togetherness

The Nano-ring

Sincerity

Simplicity

Reliability

Familiarity

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


EGO DEATH

 

Besides this, at long last, I achieved the ego death.

 

When I became acquainted with this concept, I imagined it to mean that all my defects of character would disappear in one stroke one day when time was ripe, almost like a miracle like it happened to TuTu on his way to Katmandu, but in my case, it merely happened by my identification with my thinking mind, my ego slowly stopped and instead I identified myself with my true Self, my Spirit.

 

 

DREAM INTERPRETATION

 

Over the years, I tried to learn something about dreams and I often returned to the dream I had the first time I visited the Master, to find out what its message was.


Gradually, as I learned something about symbols, and due to the events that transpired at the same time, I realized that my first interpretation had been very limited and had led to various misunderstandings.


Now, I did a re-interpretation of the dream seen through the eyes of the new knowledge I had acquired.


To me, the Master was an expression of God’s universal and impersonal love for me as it expressed itself in the platonic love-relationship between the Master and me, and the handsome young man who stepped out of the Master’s form was TuTu, who was an expression of God’s individual and personal love for me as it expressed itself in the sexual love-relationship between him and me.


The Master’s farm was a symbol of the Soul plane, the Divine plane, which I left together with TuTu.

 

The bath with the other young woman in the bathtub was a symbol of the cleansing I had to go through in connection with TuTu’s love for his childhood love.


The arousal of my sexual feelings for TuTu symbolized the activation of my power of manifestation, which was required for me to be able to write this book.


The Master cleansed the Master, so the young handsome man stepped out, symbolizing that my relationship with the Master was a preparation for my meeting with TuTu, who would step into my life as a result of my relationship with the Master.

 

After we left the Divine plane, we walked on the high edge, which illustrated the spiritual aspirant’s walk on the sword’s edge, which is the balancing point between the earthly and the spiritual.


The land symbolized the earthly and the ocean symbolized the spiritual, the shop my mind and the strange things in the shop the contents of my mind.


The mirror that I thought to be magical was a symbol of my need for confirmation from others, and the temptations were my desires.


The disappearance of the young man showed that he died.


The castle symbolized The Fellowships Anonymous, and the man in the wheelchair a sick person, who scared me at the arrival there but who would disappear because of my own actions.


The prince symbolized the consciousness of TuTu, also called the existential state of the unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy – the existential state of the Absolute consciousness.

 

The bride of the prince symbolized Mother Earth.


That he was yet a child symbolized that the consciousness of the principles in TuTu were ripening.


The representative of the prince, who took care of the bride and the realm till the prince had become an adult were the 12 Step Programs of the Fellowships Anonymous that were acting as the maintainers of the fertile soil until the new level of existential awareness had become accessible in the form of The TuTu Doctrine – The New World Order itself and the two other 12-Steps Programs
Active Addictions Anonymous – The Wild Life and Christs Anonymous – The Thirteenth Step as two other spiritual paths within the 12 Step paths and furthermore the new version of A Course In Miracles, which could all be taken up by anybody, who wanted it.

 

The deep sleep of the intermediary symbolized the lack of knowledge in The Fellowships Anonymous about the principles in TuTu.


The realm was a symbol of the human realm and the bride of mother Earth.


That it wasn’t the right thing for me to become the bride of the prince symbolized that I was only a single flower in the garment of the bride.


Returning to the Master’s farm symbolized my return to the Divine plane.


My wet socks symbolized mistakes committed.


The last bath symbolized the cleansing that took place through my Step Work with the two 12 Step Programs suggested in The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order, with the new version of A Course In Miracles and with The TuTu Doctrine – The New World Order itself.


The clean, white, long cotton dress showed simplicity and purity from top to bottom.

 

The Master’s lack of attention at my return showed that I had only done my duty to my own desires.


To sit in front of the Master again symbolized my return to God’s universal and impersonal love for me.


To sit among the other disciples symbolized humility, and the sigh of relief that my goal was achieved.


To close my eyes and slide into meditation symbolized that I had gone through the ego-death and thus slipped into the direct experience of Reality.

 

Contents part 2
 

TUTU, THE MASTER OF THE MASTER

 

According to my interpretation of this dream, my interaction with the Master was thus a preparation for my meeting with TuTu.

 

This, I felt, was confirmed by TuTu, when he told me that he had taken on a life just ahead of his present one to prepare our meeting in this life by creatingmanifesting that system of meditation which the Master got the task to pass on, and he had thus been the Master of the Master.


He had createdmanifested the system to createmanifest the right conditions to catch me in the West and bring me to the East, to meet him there.


When I began meditation under the guidance of the Master, I was told that the Master himself had a Master who was dead now.


The Master’s Master had performed the unusual feat of achieving his individual and personal Self-realization in the course of seven months.


Besides, he revived the Pranahuti process.


Shri Krishna had used the Pranahuti process when he performed his spiritual work, of which the most renowned example took place when he taught Arjuna in the battle of Mahabaratha.


However, The Pranahuti process had been extinct for so long that many thought it never existed, and therefore only few people gathered around the Master’s Master.


When the Master met his Master, he was seized by an inextinguishable love for him, and his Master opened some channels in him and a few other disciples which made it possible for them to perform the Pranahuti process, which consists in transmission of higher states of consciousness straight into the heart of the disciple.

 

When the Master of the Master died, the Master was chosen to pass on the process, and this process had indeed caught me in the West and brought me to the East, where I met TuTu.

 

A LIST OF LITERATURE THAT MADE AN IMPACT ON MY PERSONAL UNDERSTANDING OF EXISTENCE

 

A COURSE IN MIRACLES, BY COURSE IN MIRACLE SOCIETY, SCRIBE HELEN SCHUCMAN AND EDITOR WILLIAM T. THETFORD, CREATEDMANIFESTED BY HARISHCHANDRA SHARMA TUTU AND SOLVEJG SHARMA TUTU.


ACTIVE ADDICTIONS ANONYMOUS - THE WILD LIFE - ACTIVE ADDICTIONS ANONYMOUS, WSO, CREATEDMANIFESTED BY HARISHCHANDRA SHARMA TUTU AND SOLVEJG SHARMA TUTU.

ALL AND EVERYTHING – TRILOGY – G. I. GURDJIEFF


A NEW EARTH ECKHART TOLLE


A YOGI’S MEMORIES YOGANANDA


BASIC TEXT NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS



CHRISTS ANONYMOUS - THE THIRTEENTH STEP - CHRISTS ANONYMOUS, WSO, CREATEDMANIFESTED BY HARISHCHANDRA SHARMA TUTU AND SOLVEJG SHARMA TUTU.


CITY SHAMAN SERGE KING


DEATH AND THE DYING ELIZABETH KÜBLER ROSS


DESTINY OF SOULS – MICHAEL NEWTON


DET TREDIE TESTAMENTE MARTINUS


DIANETICS L. RON HUBBARD


FLIGHT INTO FREEDOM EILEEN CADDY


FRACTALS TELEVISION PROGRAM ABOUT MANDELBROT'S EQUATION


GODS IN EVERY MAN JEAN SHINODA BOLEN


GODDESSES IN EVERY WOMAN JEAN SHINODA BOLEN


I NEED YOUR LOVE – IS THAT TRUE? BYRON KATIE


IT WORKS HOW AND WHY NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS, WSO


JORDEN DØR UDEN KÆRLIGHED BIRGIT KLEIN


JOURNEY OF SOULS – MICHAEL NEWTON


KAHUNA HEALING SERGE KING


LIBERATION OF CONSCIOUSNESS JES BERTELSEN


LIFE AFTER DEATH? NILS OLE JACOBSON


LIFE AFTER LIFE RAYMOND MOODY


LOVING WHAT IS BYRON KATIE


MEMORIES AND LETTERS C.G. JUNG


MY MASTER P. RAJAGOPALACHARI


NO MORE CODEPENDENCY MELODY ADAMS


PHILIP’S GOSPEL NAG HAMMADI LIBRARY


PRINCE VALIANT (CARTOON SERIES IN WEEKLY MAGAZINE)


REALITY AT DAWN RAM CHANDRA


70 INCIDENTS OF REINCARNATION IAN STEVENSON


TEN COMMANDMENTS RAM CHANDRA


THE ACTIVE SIDE OF INFINITY CARLOS CASTANEDA


THE ART OF DREAMING CARLOS CASTANEDA


THE FIRE FROM WITHIN CARLOS CASTANEDA


THE GARDEN OF FAIRY TALES CARLOS CASTANEDA


THE HOLY GRAIL MALCOLM GODWIN


THE INNER WEDDING LINDA SHIERSE LEONARD


THE MASTER GAME ROBERT DE ROPP


THE NEW TESTAMENT JOHN, MATTHEW, LUKE, MARK


THE POWER OF NOW ECKHART TOLLE


THE TAO OF PHYSICS FRITJOF CAPRA


THE WAY OF THE SHAMAN MICHAEL HARNER


TOMAS’S GOSPEL NAG HAMMADI LIBRARY


TOWARDS INFINITY RAM CHANDRA


TRUTH ETERNAL RAM CHANDRA, FATEHGARH


VOICE REAL RAM CHANDRA

 

 

Contents part 2

 

THE 22 DOCTRINE 3

THE SEVENTH DIMENSION

 

 

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

THE SOFTENING OF THE STONE HEART

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

THE MASCULINE AND THE FEMININE:

LOVE

 
Contents part 3

 

CHAPTER 1

THE EARTHLY WEDDING

THE FEAR OF LOVE

THE SPIDER

DRACULA

TUTU’S BEING

THE NECESSITY OF PAIN

THE EVIL I DID NOT WANT

THE PHYSICAL DEATH OF JESUS CHRIST

A DREAM VISION

INITIATION 2

THE SEED OF LOVE

THE DIVINE INCARNATION

THE INITIATION OF THE EARTH INTO THE SEED OF LOVE

THE EARTHLY LIVES OF THE AVATARS

THE 144,000 CHOSEN ONES

POWER PLANTS

SECURITY RATHER THAN LOVE

OM

THE SHIVA-SHAKTI INVOCATION

TUTU AND SHIVA

TABOO

SEXUAL INNOCENCE

JUDGING ABOUT GOOD AND EVIL

TUTU AND THE PRECEPTOR

SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS

SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS DIRECTED TOWARDS THE FUTURE

SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS DIRECTED TOWARDS THE PAST

SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS DIRECTED TOWARDS THE INTANGIBLE

KRISHNA AND RUKMINI

SPIRITUALITY AND SEXUALITY

PREPARATIONS FOR BHOG

THE EARTHLY WEDDING

CHAPTER 2

THE ANGELIC WEDDING

DHARMA AND KARMA

THE MYTHOLOGICAL HARISHCHANDRA

PREPARATION FOR KARMA DISSOLUTION

THE PAIN OF SEPARATION 1

IN THERAPY
REUNION WITH THE MASTER
PURIFICATION FOR SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS 1
THE HELP OF THE CROWN PRINCE 1
TAKING LEAVE OF THE MASTER
THE PAIN OF SEPARATION 2

THE MELTED HEART
TUTU'S HEART

CONFIRMATION OF THE CONDITION OF THE MELTED HEART

TUTU’S DEPARTURE
PREPARATION FOR PSYCHODRAMA

TUTU’S ILLNESS 1

PURIFICATION OF SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS 2

HEALING OF MY DEEPLY FELT HEARTACHE

TIME TRACK TRAVELS

KARMA DISSOLUTION
RUKMINI AND SISHUPALA

MY TASK

THE MASTER’S DEATH

THE RESPECT BETWEEN MAN AND WOMAN

THE HELP OF THE CROWN PRINCE 2

THE ANGELIC WEDDING

 

CHAPTER 3

THE DIVINE WEDDING  

TUTU’S ILLNESS 2

IGNORANCE

PREPARATION FOR THE FULFILLMENT OF A PROHIBITED DESIRE

THE FULFILLMENT OF A PROHIBITED DESIRE

WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS

CAST OUT OF SOCIETY

TUTU’S TEARS

SEXUAL FREEDOM

INITIATION TO SHIVA

THE MOMENT OF REALIZATION

PREPARATION FOR THE SPIRITUAL REBIRTH

COSMIC TWINS

HE LOVES ME - HE LOVES ME NOT?

THE FELLOWSHIPS ANONYMOUS

THE DIVINE WEDDING

 

CHAPTER 4

THE SPIRITUAL WEDDING

FEAR OF THE CONSEQUENCE OF LOVE

RELAPSE

THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL

THE TWICE BORN

THE TRUE DISCIPLES OF JESUS

BACK TO THE FELLOWSHIPS ANONYMOUS

VANITY-PERISHABILITY

SHIVA, THE DESTROYER

THE COMING INTO BEING OF THE TUTU DOCTRINE

TUTU’S ILLNESS 3

TUTU’S DEATH

TUTU’S FUNERAL

TUTU’S BIRTH

PREPARATION FOR CROSSING THE BOUNDARY OF DEATH

THE MEETING WITH THE COBRA KA

THE POWER OF THE COBRA

THE MEETING WITH THE JAGUAR KAVA

THE POWER OF THE JAGUAR

TUTU, THE JAGUAR, THE LION AND ME

REUNION WITH TUTU

SURRENDER TO GOD THE FATHER AND GODDESS THE MOTHER

PURIFICATION OF THE GUILT OF THE MOTHER LOVE

KNOWLEDGE AND WILL ALONE IS NOT ENOUGH

THE ARCHETYPE OF THE SEXUAL POWER

PREPARATION FOR PURIFICATION OF RELUCTANCE

DEATH HELP

CONFIRMATION OF THE DEATH HELP

TUTU RETURNS TO GOD THE FATHER

THE SPIRITUAL WEDDING

 


Contents part 1  Contents part 2  Contents part 3  Contents part 4  Contents part 5

 

THE EARTHLY WEDDING

 

THE FEAR OF LOVE

 

When I came back to Denmark, I discovered that TuTu’s image popped up before my inner eye whenever I wanted to meditate.


I was used to focus on an inner image of the Master at those times and tried to brush aside the uninvited image, but that was only possible for short moments.


I remembered the dream where I left the Master’s farm together with the young man, and I thought that maybe this had got something to do with what was happening.


I worried about it because I was not interested in leaving the Master to follow this young man only to discover later that it had been a mistake and therefore I would regret it.


In the end, I felt so bewitched by the phenomenon that I decided to write a letter to the Crown Prince.


He had met TuTu and might be able to tell me if, perhaps, he had some special qualities that made it possible for him to intrude on me against my wish.


He answered that one should be careful not to mix the love of God with the earthly love, and besides, it could only be decided if it was love if it led to marriage, otherwise the relationship had to be termed lust.

 

I was dissatisfied with the answer because I did not think that the phenomenon had got anything to do with love and had wanted him to put a stop to it or tell me how I could do it myself.


I decided to write a letter to the Master instead even if he had not met TuTu.


I wrote that I had met him in Madras, and I felt like a leaf in the wind that would be swept wherever the wind took it.


I feared that the wind took me away from him, and as I did not want that, I would now leave the case in his hands.


A preceptor was about to go to India, and I asked her to take the letter with her and deliver it personally.


After coming back she told me that he had read it immediately.


"This is a very good letter," he then said and kept it with him for some time before he took it to his room.

 

When he came back, he still had it with him and stuck it under the cushion on his chair before he sat down again.


At the same point in time that she mentioned she had given the letter to the Master, I was vacuum-cleaning when I suddenly felt a whirl of transmission in the living room and sat down to meditate.


The whirl moved through me for 3-4 minutes, after which it disappeared.


When I heard about his reaction and compared it with my experience, I was convinced that he had both the will and the power to take care of the issue, so it was now in the best of hands, and with this, I calmed down.


A couple of days later, I received a letter from TuTu where he wrote that he doubted he would succeed in coming to Denmark because his father was against the idea.


Besides, he wasn’t sure he wanted to because after I left, he had become so energy-less that he had fallen ill; so now he had come to believe that I had cast a spell on him and sat like a spider in my web waiting for my prey.

 

I was so hurt by his perception of me that I had to lie down on my bed.


I thought that he had decided to stay in India because the Master had done something or the other.


A prayer streamed through me on its own accord that he must come to Denmark, together with a decision that I would give up my connection with the Master forever if it separated TuTu and me.


Startled, I observed myself and mustered all my willpower to add: "Though, your will be done."


However, it rang so powerless internally that my fear did not decrease.


Shortly afterwards, I received a letter from TuTu’s father, who wrote that he hoped I would receive his son well when he came to Denmark, and in the beginning of august 1978, at long last, I was to pick him up in the airport.

 

 

THE SPIDER

 

Twenty years later, I had an inner experience with a spider myself, and I was also frightened at first.


However, when it was explained to me, I became glad that he had experienced me in that way.


My experience took place in one of my shamanic travels.

 

They took place after TuTu’s death and consisted in me going into my consciousness like in a dream in the night, but with the difference that I was awake while dreaming.


Like in a dream in the night, or like in the three-dimensional Reality for that matter, events developed in known or surprising ways.


At that time, the Master had been dead for 14 years, but I traveled to meet him in the inner World to thank him for having suggested me the task of writing this book.


When I began my inner travel, my Power Animal – my jaguar Kava, Goddess the Mother, God the Father and TuTu waited for me at the departure place.


I told them my traveling purpose, and Goddess the Mother stepped forward, took me in her arms and ascended through the clear air, higher and higher, until I suddenly got a glimpse of the Master and finally saw him fully.


I also spotted TuTu, who stood in the background on his left-hand side.


I told the Master my errand.


He did not say anything, and I added that I would like to hear if he had something to say, which I could use as a guideline in the future.


He still did not answer.


I did not know what to do next and threw a fast glance at him.


TuTu had disappeared, but instead, I spotted a big black spot on top of the Master’s left thigh.


When I took a closer look at it, I discovered that it was a black spider with long hairy legs, a tarantula.


It lifted its forelegs towards me, and when I saw its mouth, I got scared and shrank away.


"Divine Mother, remove this fear," I prayed.


The fear disappeared.


Again, I looked at the spider and maintained my calm even if it came towards me, while at the same time becoming bigger and bigger.


It poured itself over me and glided down and around me so that I was completely enveloped by it.

 

Then, it became very tiny and fell down on the ground.


From here it jumped up on my chest, sank into my heart, became a small dot, disappeared, became visible again and turned its back against my back.


Then, it grew again until it filled out my chest.


My inner travel ended, and the shaman told me that the spider is the symbol of that being who gathers all the threads of the Universe in a perfect pattern.


This made me realize that my experience meant that the threads of the Universe had gathered in a perfect pattern in my heart, and in the following years, gradually, I experienced the realization of this travel through the change in my perspectives.

 

 Contents part 3

DRACULA

 

On another occasion, both TuTu and I had an experience with another scary creature.


It w
as about that archetype which is called the vampire or Dracula.


In the physical body, the heart is considered to be the Holy of Holiest because it is God’s abode and thus the seat of the unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy, and blood is considered to be the holiest because the blood passes through the heart and brings life to the whole body, and blood is thus an expression of that love, care, compassion and mercy which is conditioned by the power of the heart and then assigned to passing it on.


When the vampire sucks the blood out of his/her victim, he/she therefore sucks the life-giving force of the holiest out of the person in question.

 

My experience took place in a dream where I was on my way up a broad staircase that led up into the Heavens.


When I had come up some distance, a figure dressed in a black cloak stood there, blocking my way up.

 

It was TuTu.


Even if I could not see his teeth, I knew he was Dracula.


I got frightened and ran down again, but when I came to the foot of the staircase, he was waiting for me there.


I ran up the stairs again, but a bit higher up he stood yet another time blocking my way.

 

When I woke up and thought about the dream, my sexual feelings arose, and a joyous shiver went through me, because I could not avoid him whether I ran up or down the Heavenly ladder.


I reproached myself and thought that there had to be something wrong with me when I was so enthralled by TuTu that I did not want to avoid him, even if my dream had revealed that he was a monster.


In an accusing tone of voice, I told him about my dream, but he looked happy and reminded me that he had a similar experience ten years earlier, where he had a vision of me as a vampire with long pointed purple nails and tusks.


He had become frightened by his vision too, but in the meantime he had investigated the issue.

 

He had found out that when love for the beloved is powerful, fear could rise that love would overpower him/her to such an extent that he/she lost his/her own willpower and was transformed into a zombie whose life energy is sucked out by the vampire, because the he/she could not resist his/her urge to serve her love in ways that were contrary to his/her own desires.

 

This meant that when a person met this archetype in his/her inner World, the person was involved in the great, true love that exists between Spirit Mates, and thus I understood that both TuTu and I felt the same, and that his joy sprang from the fact that my scary dream had revealed my love for him.

SPIRIT MATES

 

When thoughts began to arise within me, which held a certainty that I did not normally have that TuTu was my Spirit Mate, I rejected these thoughts.

I couldn't imagine that such a wonderful person could represent my masculine part on the Spirit plane where we were one being, because that would mean he loved me as much as I loved him.

I couldn't imagine that anyone could love me unless there was something seriously wrong with that person because my mind was dominated by my thinking mind’s, my ego's thought system, which was filled with derogatory and hateful thoughts about me.

As my mind was liberated from my denial of my powerlessness over my unconditional Love by the help of the 12 Step Program in the TuTu Doctrine Fellowship I little by little became able to instead taking care of myself, others, the World at large, life and death, pain and illness, the devil and God with my unconditional Love, care, compassion and mercy.

The slow return of my knowing mind’s, my  God mind’s thought system enabled me to come to believe that he and I are in Truth one being, consisting of a merging of the masculine and feminine principles on the Spirit plane and we are also one being even if we meet as two separate beings here on Earth and thus that I was loved by him as his one and only Spirit Mate, just as I was loved by him as his one and only Spirit Mate, no matter what on plane of existence we met.

 

TUTU’S BEING

 

TuTu’s being mystified me from the beginning, and over the years, I had many different ideas as to who he was.


When we turned off the light to go to sleep on his first night in Denmark, I felt a powerful radiation streaming from him, as if it was the Master himself lying next to me.


At first, I thought that the Master had decided to charge him with the same power that he himself radiated, so as to help me not to lose my contact with him.


That did not appear unlikely to me because I had read in one of the Master’s books that the saints of the past sometimes infused vibrations into a wooden or stone sculpture, which then radiated this power up to a couple of hundred years afterwards for the benefit of people who were not able to relate to an abstract concept of God.

 

If that was possible, then why not this?

 

At a later point, I had some dreams during a visit at the Master’s, and they made me change my point of view.

 

In one case, I dreamt that TuTu walked among a big group of the Master’s disciples and helped them with various problems.


The Crown Prince walked by his side and received teachings.


At some point, they came over to me, and I told TuTu about a round spot of psoriasis that I had on my shin.


TuTu explained something to the Crown Prince, and a moment later the psoriasis began to grow into a bigger and bigger lump, and in the end, a kind of body separated from me, fell down on the ground and was lying there, writhing in death struggle.


A disciple came over to TuTu and asked a question.


He looked gently at her and said in a soft tone of voice: "This is sheer folly," indicating with loving gentleness that what she asked was pure nonsense, but at the same time, he understood that she just needed to connect to him, and they both went with her.

 

In the meantime, the form on the ground dissolved but for a very small part that swooped back into me.

In the course of a fortnight my psoriasis healed, and that made me think that the dream was an event in the inner World, which now had expressed itself in the outer World.


I also thought that my dream showed that TuTu was going to be the Master’s successor, because it was he who taught the Crown Prince and not the other way around.

 

In the other incident, I dreamt that we were an infinite stream of disciples who walked together on a long road towards the Master in the far away distance.


By my side walked my friend from the Master’s group of disciples in Copenhagen.


Suddenly, I saw TuTu standing on a balcony on the right hand side of the road, elevated above the stream of disciples that passed by the balcony, and I understood that he was the true Master.

 

I turned my head to tell that to my friend and discovered that she and the others still had their gaze turned towards the far away distance.

This dream made me think that I was the only one who discovered that TuTu was going to be the Master’s successor, and when the Crown Prince took his seat after the Master’s death, it came as a shock to me.


For a long time, I thought that my being in love with TuTu had made my spiritual sight unreliable, until I realized that although he was not the Master’s successor in the other disciples’ lives, he was in mine, and then I began trusting my spiritual sight again.

 

However, Reality superseded my wildest imagination when he told me that he was the Master’s Master in his previous incarnation.

 

However, this information appeared to me to be too fantastic for me to be able to believe in it, and so eleven years passed by before I was able to take this fact to heart.

 

When my heart answered my question to myself as to whom I considered him to be by answering that he was the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, I could not believe that either, and I absorbed this information in small bites too.


The absorption took place by me constantly asking myself for a number of years: "If that is true, then why does he do this or why does he say that?"


For every answer I came up with, one of my illusions was broken down as to what it meant to be the Master of Masters when he lived on Earth
, and I understood why Jesus emphasized again and again that he was a son of man.

 

 Contents part 3

 

THE NECESSITY OF PAIN

 

It was a bitter pill to swallow that TuTu’s pains were as real as everybody else’s, because I hoped that, in some way or another, it would be possible for me to rise above the pains of life if only I changed enough, but now I had to realize that when even the Master of Masters could not avoid the pain of life, it was likely that it was not possible for me and everybody else either.

 

Only when I faced this, I came to accept the pains of life.

 

When the acceptance occurred, I realized that the pain of life is not only a necessary part of existence but also an advantageous one.


What would otherwise prevent me from sitting down on a steaming hot object?

 

 

THE EVIL I DID NOT WANT…

 

Another part of my hope that he did not suffer in Reality was connected with the pains I had inflicted on him in our marriage, but when the blinds began to fall off from my eyes, I was inconsolable.


I pondered on how it happened that I too had contributed to his pains in spite of all my intentions to the contrary, and I realized that my interaction with him in the spiritual field had impressed and overwhelmed me to such an extent that I was not able to take it seriously when I saw his human limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality.


On one hand, these sides of him brought forth my deepest feelings of togetherness and tenderness, and on the other hand, they gave rise to the little tiffs and big clashes of daily life, but at the same time, I perceived them to be some kind of play-acting on his part, and it was many of those actions I had done with this attitude that pained me now.


When I remembered what he often said whenever I felt repentant about unwillingly having harmed him: "Love is to never have to say you are sorry," my pain began to lift, because I
perceived this phrase to be his way of stating that he knew I acted out of love for him, and the damages I brought forth were due to my ignorance rather than a desire to harm him.


However, I had to work a lot with the problem before it became possible for me to forgive myself.

 

 

THE PHYSICAL DEATH OF JESUS CHRIST

 

I had to swallow yet another bitter pill in this process, because I had hoped that what I learned in my childhood was correct, that Jesus was not subjugated to the physical death so that TuTu could materialize for me in flesh and blood after his death.


I had never read the Bible myself, but now I decided to read The New Testament to get confirmed that my desire could be fulfilled.


When I read about Mary Magdalene’s meeting with Jesus in front of the tomb, it occurred to me that Mary would have recognized Jesus immediately if he had appeared before her in flesh and blood, and so in my eyes, this event was a channeling, and therefore, Mary only became aware that it was Jesus who spoke to her through the mouth of the gardener when he pronounced her name with that particular sound and intonation which Jesus used to use, and which the gardener could not know.


I think the same goes for the disciples’ meeting with him at the fisher boat, because they would not have had to discuss afterwards if it had been him or not if he had looked like he used to.


The only narration which describes that he looked like he used to is the story about their meeting with him behind closed doors.


In shamanic travels, however, it is possible that a group travel together in the inner Worlds and experience the events together in the same way as when a group in the third dimension experiences something together on a travel in the outer World, and therefore, I think that it was with their astral ears and eyes that they heard his astral voice and saw his astral body.


How would it otherwise be possible for him to appear in the room without coming in through the door like all other physical beings?


In the same way, I believe it was with their astral ears and eyes that they heard his astral voice and saw his astral body when he came to their rescue by walking on the water on his way to their boat when it was thrown around in the stormy weather.


Therefore, after finishing my reading, I gave up my hope that TuTu would materialize for me in flesh and blood, but instead, I began hoping that my spiritual capacity would become so well developed that I would be able to hear, see and experience him just as clearly as if he was physical, like the disciples had done.

 

 

A DREAM VISION

 

My spiritual vision was not particularly well developed when I was awake and conscious.


I saw the images as transparent forms and in a very airy way, in the same way as filmmakers portray spiritual phenomena to separate them from the secular.


After my reading of the Bible, I complained to TuTu about the lack of density in my inner images when I saw him in this transparent form in the course of the day.

 

A couple of days later, I had a dream in the night.


I dreamt that we were lying, sleeping together, like we used to do while he lived here on Earth.


In the dream, I woke up because he put his arm across my head so I could see his hand and part of his arm in front of my face that was turned away from him in my sleep.


I removed his arm, but a moment later, it was there again.

 

"Harish, take away your arm. I can’t sleep when it is lying there," I said.


He woke up halfway and said: "Ok, I’m sorry," and pulled his arm back, but a moment later it was there again.


"If you don’t keep your arm away from my head, I’ll bite your fingers," I said irritated.


He pulled his arm back, but a moment later it was there again, and I let action follow words.


He woke up and said gently but with an undertone of hurt: "Ouch, why did you do that?"


I always became repentant when I heard the gentleness in his voice after having hurt him and said: "I’m also sorry about that, but I really can’t sleep when you put your arm on my head all the time."


"Ok, ok," he said and dropped off to sleep again, but a moment later his arm was there again.


I woke up from my dream, sat up in the bed physically speaking, turned around towards him and said angrily: "Harish, I’m telling you......."


I stopped abruptly by the sight of the empty space in the bed.


An intense joy went through me because he had responded to my wish of experiencing him as clearly as if he was physical, but I also felt embarrassed that I had bitten him.


When I saw him the following day, as transparent as I used to, I said to him with my inner voice: "I thought it would be a blissful experience to be able to see you and feel you as clearly as if you were physical, but instead it was an embarrassing story where I bit your fingers."


"I had to irritate you a bit to make you remember the experience because we are actually together every night, while you’re asleep. You don’t remember when you wake up because our being together is so harmonious," he said.

 

 Contents part 3

 

INITIATION 2

 

One day, a short time after his arrival in Denmark, TuTu said that he would initiate me the following day.


I said that the Master had already initiated me but he answered:

 

“Yes you are indeed, but the Master only possesses the bright tone of OM.


I possess both the bright and the dark tone.


I have seen your face when you meditate.


You look intensely sad, and I don’t want to see you sad whenever you meditate.”


I agreed to be initiated again, and the same evening he took out a chillum, which he had made from soapstone.


He began carving a face on one side, and after a couple of hours, it began looking like me.


Gradually, as the time passed, I got sleepy, and my eyes began blinking.


He stopped carving: "Are you going to sleep now?"


"I’m so sleepy," I said.


"That’s all right," he gently said and put his knife away.


There was something in his tone of voice which made me open my eyes and shake off my sleepiness.


I managed to stay awake for the rest of the night, while he finished the carving.


On the front side of the chillum, he had carved my face and my eyes, and the third eye on my forehead was carved vertically.

 

He carved an OM on the backside of the chillum and he carved two spirals in opposite directions at the mouthpiece of the chillum, which he explained was a symbol of time and its dissolution into its opposite.


Both the third eye and OM lit up when the chillum was lit.


In the end, he decorated the carvings with delicate green, red and blue colors.


A quarter to six, he began preparing the ceremony.


He took out incense sticks and two candles and put them on the chest of drawers.


Then he took out clean clothes for both of us, and in the end, he picked up clean towels.

 

"Now, we are going to have a shower," he said.


After the shower, we went into the living room, where he lit the candles and said that it is good for the spiritual health to have living lights lit.


Then he lit the incense sticks, held them in his hand, and rotated them circling around the two candles while saying: “One becomes two becomes three becomes many…”, and then we sat down opposite each other.


He began chanting OM in such a sonorous resounding way that I had only experienced a similar sound in a dream I had had once at the Master’s farm, where I woke up immediately after and tried to imitate the sound, because I was told in the dream that I should sit up and try to chant what I had heard, but at that time I could only produce a frail and broody sound.


After a few moments, I followed my impulse to join in, and to my joy, the sound streamed from my lips in as sonorous resounding as the way TuTu’s chant
.


Slowly, he let it fade.

 

"Start meditation on OM," he said.


When I began meditating, my body jerked, and I remembered that I had hidden from him that I had a contagious skin fungus, which produced some small white spots on my skin.


I opened my eyes and said: "I'm sorry to interrupt the meditation, but I have hidden something from you, which I should have told you."


"That’s all right. What is it?" he asked.


"I have fungus."


"Is it contagious?"


I wringed, ashamed: "Yes."


"Is there anything else?"


"No."


"That’s all right. Continue the meditation."


When I closed my eyes and began meditating again, my body jerked yet another time and I remembered an event that had happened recently.

 

One day, he gave me a flower in a flowerpot, but a couple of days later, it had a white fungus on the green leaves.


In a teasing manner, he asked me why the plant had fungus, as if it was my responsibility.


I thought it was a strange way of asking, but said that it probably had got too much of water, but he kept teasing me about it.


Now, it occurred to me that he had known my secret all along.


My cheeks became warm from embarrassment.


In the future, I’d better hurry to tell him if I came to think of something which I felt he ought to know.


I sank into deep meditation, and when it was over, he had made the chillum ready and asked me to light it.


He struck four matches all at once, and they flared up dramatically.


He held them over the chillum to give me light, and when I sucked in the smoke, he chanted in a loud and humorous tone of voice: "BUM ShivaShakti Shambhu," as if he thought that something or the other was incredibly funny.


The power of the mantra shook me for a moment, and I stifled from fear.


After smoking, we were to make love, and in the end, I made breakfast.


While I made the food, I asked him many times what the time was, because I had to be at work at eight o’clock.


It proved that time almost stood still, like when I was with the Master, so I gave up keeping an eye on time and instead I surrendered to what I was doing.


We ate peacefully and calmly, and first after that, I looked at the clock again.


It was time to go to work.

 

 Contents part 3

 

THE SEED OF LOVE

 

Later, I investigated the content of the concept of ideas of this ceremony, and then I realized what I had already felt, namely that it were great powers that had been activated in this initiation.

 

Nyasa means to apply the energy of dawn with the purpose of transferring power to an aspirant during initiation, and TuTu kept me awake the whole night for this purpose.


The shower and the clean clothes represented cleansing and the two lit candles the eternal fire of the masculine and the feminine principle.


He had chosen incense sticks with the fragrance of musk, which is the distinctive characteristic of Lord Krishna.


Lord Krishna is that archetypal sphere of consciousness in the seventh dimension which radiates The Seed of Love.


To achieve the Krishna consciousness, the spiritual aspirant has to empty his/her
lower heart of all earthly desires.


The
 lower heart is the uterus of love, and when the lower heart is emptied of all other desires but the desire for love, The Seed of Love can penetrate to impregnate The Egg of Love.


After the impregnation, it is the person’s own task to allow the embryo to grow, so that love gradually gets to fill up the whole of the
 lower heart.

 

 

THE DIVINE INCARNATION

 

Humankind’s craving for love can release an impulse so that one individual and personal consciousness among those who have their permanent abode in the seventh dimension lets himself/herself be born on Earth in flesh and blood, coming out directly from a given sphere in the seventh dimension, for example, from the Lord Krishna sphere, and therefore charged with its energy combination.


Such a person is a Divine incarnation, called an Avatar in Hinduism, a Bodhisattva in Buddhism, a Wali in Islam and an Angel in Christianity, because he/she is coming from the Divine plane, the seventh dimension, and not from the fifth dimension which is the incarnation point for people who have various personal desires they want to have fulfilled by taking birth in the third dimension.


The fifth dimension is also the incarnation point for newly liberated people who have liberated themselves from desires in the third dimension but want to return to undertake various types of charitable social work to relieve the sufferings here.


However, gradually as their development progresses, they are also liberated from returning to the fifth dimension, which means, they get further and further removed from the affairs of the third dimension, and it thus takes a special impulse before a descent can take place from the seventh dimension, not to mention from the entrance of the Absolute.


When a descend takes place for the first time, the energy combination of the Earth is changed, and thereby it becomes easier for the subsequent individual and personal consciousnesses from various fields of consciousness in the seventh dimension to incarnate on Earth, and thus today, there exists numerous avatars on Earth with the purpose of participating in the creationmanifestation of the New World Order.


THE INITIATION OF THE EARTH INTO THE SEED OF LOVE

 

The first individual and personal consciousness who succeeded in emerging straight from the field of Lord Krishna, the seed of love, in the seventh dimension was born in the Yadu Dynasty in India and got the very name of Krishna.

 

The descend became possible because 16,000 people were found on Earth with open and empty lower hearts, who craved for love.


They did not meet him personally, but in one and the same day, he transmitted The Seed of Love into the lower heart of all 16,000 by the help of the Pranahuti Process in the same way as the Master transmitted to my heart, even if he was in India and I in Denmark.

 

Posterity said about Shri Krishna that he married 16,000 women the same day.


However, this should not be taken literally.


The lower heart, both in men and women, is the uterus of love, and its open and empty condition is the holy yoni, the literal yoni being the female sexual organ, and both men and women are thus women to Lord Krishna, whom Shri Krishna represented.


Previously, the atmosphere of the Earth had received The Seed of Love as subtle irradiation, but on this occasion, the Earth got a direct injection of The Seed of Love by the help of Shri Krishna and the 16,000 fertilized lower hearts, which now contained The Seed of Love, and thus, the energy combination of the atmosphere of the Earth was changed.


Later, others of the individual and personal consciousness descended from this field to Earth in the form of various Avatars, Prophets, Saints and Sages to shower the impregnated lower hearts with renewed energy and to infuse The Seed of Love into those lower hearts that had become ready in the meantim
e.

 

 

THE EARTHLY LIVES OF THE AVATARS

 

Both Shri Krishna himself and the other Divine incarnations had their personal earthly lives besides their spiritual work, and just like all other creaturesmanifestations in the third dimension, they were limited, ignorant, powerless and mortal, but because their personal radiation and spiritual work was a mystery to their contemporaries, many stories sprang up describing them in a way that gave the impression that it was possible to be in a human form without being submitted to a human being’s conditions, and thus many imaginative concepts arose about the life of the avatars as human beings.

 

 Contents part 3

 

THE 144.000 CHOSEN ONES

 

Slowly, over time, many large and small events transpired, gathered in my mind, and made me believe that TuTu was the same individual and personal consciousness who once descended to Earth as Shri Krishna.

 

However, this time he descended from the sphere of consciousness called TuTu.


TuTu contains both the Absolute’s power of creation in the form of The Seed of Unconditional Love, Care, Compassion and Mercy, and the power of manifestation in the form of The Egg of the Unconditional Love, Care, Compassion and Mercy.


For TuTu to be able to descend to Earth charged with the energy combination of the field, it was required that the original 16,000 men and women had expanded their capacity for love to also include their neighbor, by the help of the merciful capacity of love that springs from that sphere in the eighth dimension which is called Christ, and that their number had increased minimum nine times the original number.


This number is required for the principle of morphic resonance, popularly known as ‘the hundredth monkey’, to come into play.


The principle of morphic resonance states that when a certain number of individuals from a specific species, for example, monkeys, have achieved a specific skill, it spreads to the whole species even if the individuals haven’t been in contact with others from whom they could have learned it.


When a specific number of people possess love, care, compassion and mercy for those who suffer, this quality will spread to the whole species from that point where the critical mass is achieved – in this case 144,000 – and at the same time, humankind put together becomes powerful enough to bring forth a descend from the entrance of the Absolute.


Today, humankind holds these 144,000 love-filled and compassionate hearts, and the descend has taken place.

 

As described in the Bible, the descend ushers in a new Heaven and a new Earth.


This happens because the descend makes a more exact description of the contexts of the dimensions, seen with earthly eyes, accessible, and this means that spiritual science will reach new heights and change the outlook of the many.


A sign that the descend has taken place is the news that The Spiritual Wedding of the descended and his other half has taken place, and at the same time, this news holds the promise that these 144,000 will soon stand in front of God's Holy Altar, to enter into their own Spiritual Wedding with their other half.

 

By the help of the power of their unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy for each other, they enter into the Absolute and thereby they become immersed in God’s Light of Love until the beginning of a new creationmanifestation.


Before these 144,000 return home, they will share with others the information about their own personal and individual experiences both on the way to the wedding and in connection with the wedding itself.


The more such narrations that come forward, the more perspectives become accessible, and the more people will recognize themselves in these narrations.


Thus, wave after wave will follow in their footsteps until all have returned to the Origin, and the evolution thereby has come to an end.

 

 

POWER PLANTS

 

The contents of the chillum for the ceremony was Indian hemp, which contains medicated expansion of consciousness, mixed with tobacco, the sacred plant of the Red Indians, which was used in their peace processes because of the medicated serenity it gives.


Both at this and other times, the sacred plants, the tobacco, the Indian hemp, the opium Popeye, the grape, the coca bush and the hop just to name a few, were essential contributions to my inner enlightenment, because they opened up doors of my consciousness which could not be opened in any other way in my case.


These plants are called power plants in shamanism, and when I saw those conditions which surrounded these plants, both in my own and other societies, I came to perceive the gift of these plants to humankind as a two-edged sword, which could transform into a curse if parts of humankind appropriated the gift either through violence and armed force or legislation, to usurp power over their fellow human beings for the purpose of obtaining material gain or to exploit them as labor force for the same purpose.

 

TuTu had made a little poem about this with a play of words, the playfulness of which can only be seen in Danish in which TuTu composed it, but the meaning of it in English is: "Life is fun when it revolves around something which is fun. It is shudder when it revolves around dough."

 

In Danish:

 

Livet er sjovt, når det drejer sig om noget, der er sjovt.

Det er gys, når det drejer sig om gysser.

 


POWER OBJECTS

 

The chillum was made especially for the occasion.


The face on the chillum portrayed me in a peaceful condition with a Mona Lisa smile.


TuTu made many of this type of power objects, and gradually as I became more aware, I observed that he used them in a way which redeemed both my own and other people’s destructive emotions in relation to objects instead of in relation to fellow human beings.

 

Ahead of the ceremony, he had asked me what I feared the most, and at that point, my fear was that the man I loved would be unfaithful to me with my sister so I would feel let down without being able to seek consolation from her.


When he carved the chillum, he asked me who it looked like, and I said that it looked like me, but the next day, I discovered that it had a small spot on the tip of the nose and a small spot above the upper lip.


My sister had those too, and since we were twins, these two were one of the distinguishing marks in our appearances.


I told her about it believing that she would be pleased.


She got scared and said that she did not want her face on any chillum.


He had also asked her what she feared the most, but she would not even dream of telling him, because she had discovered that those who did came to experience to some degree or other what they feared shortly after, and that she was not interested in.

 

I had not observed this phenomenon, but I became more observant and discovered that she was right.


Anyway, I did not stop telling him what I feared when he asked me, because I felt that some kind of purification took place, which I could not see through but which I believed would prove to be to my advantage in the end.

 

 Contents part 3

 

SECURITY RATHER THAN LOVE

 

The chillum got a chaotic life.


More and more of the mouthpiece broke off, and in the end, it was not good to use, and it got so many cuts that it wasn’t beautiful anymore.


I was tormented by discovering that, secretly, I became glad every time it got to look a little worse.


In the end, I chose to tell TuTu about it, and he said that the chillum portrayed me, even if I had believed that it portraited my twin sister, but there were various kinds of problems in my relationship with my sister.


One thing was a sibling complex, which was bigger than normal, and another was that the jealousy lay under the threshold of day consciousness, and therefore, had chances of doing greater harm.


For example, he had noticed that my sister intuitively called me every time a peak experience was about to happen between him and me, and thus she disturbed the event.


For a long time, I got angry when he touched on my relationship with my sister, but in the end, reluctantly, I began to observe it.


I had never put a question mark on my love for her and hers for me, but now I discovered that our relationship did not have the character that I had imagined.


It consisted in a pact, which said that we, always and under all circumstances, should be there for one another no matter the cost for each of us, and besides this, we always had to be loyal to each other above anybody else, and it was this pact of security that I had perceived as love.


The pact had always createdmanifested problems in our relationships with our respective boyfriends, who got angry by discovering that they had the second priority in her or my life.

It had also createdmanifested many difficulties in our social lives, because other people felt left out when we were together, even our mother.

When I had spotted all this, a desire arose in me to change the nature of our relationship.

This started a process and it ended up with the both of us admitting that, in reality, we would rather give our spouses first priority than each other.

After this conversation, we began freeing ourselves from each other with stumbling legs, but it was not easy because we were so entangled in each other’s lives and memories that we often had difficulties remembering who did what during our growth, and it also called forth a lot of fear when one of us took a step forward which was a bit too big for the other.


In the end, I realized that my fear was not the fear of losing her, but of losing the security that our pact gave me, and from thereon, it became easier.

 

She felt the same way and, little by little, we managed to give our love for our spouses’ first priority and our friendship second priority.


FRIENDSHIP

At one point I asked TuTu what friendship is and he replied: Friendship arise when two or more people have a common purpose and therefore walk together on the mutual path of their earthly life.

When one or the other/the others or both/all have had their purpose fulfilled, their paths part until they meet again, when they return to the Absolute as brothers and sisters, and thus the platonic love of friendship lasts forever between them, even though they at some point each has to walk his own path in his earthly life.

Much later I understood that when Spirit Mates projected themselves out as triplets, two of them were Spirit Mates and the third was one half of one of their brotherssisters, who had agreed to contribute to the couple's emerging Soul Life.

The third triplet was the couple's male friend/female friend, and among them the greatest platonic love of friendship was to be found, since all three were Soul Mates, who had belonged together from the beginning of the creationmanifestation, when they were born together, when the Universe as we know it came into being.

PLATONIC LOVE

This answer helped me to understand that it is not only the sexual love between Spirit Mates as one being that lasts forever, but also that any platonic love lasts forever, whether it is found between Soul Mates, family members or among friends, who belong to the same Soul cluster and therefore live in the same energy field in the higher worlds inclusive of the God Realm even if the God Realm is a oneness of everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of consciousness.

KARMIC CONNECTIONS

When the separation took place, an intense pain of panic fear arose in the projected Soul Mates, because they believed they had lost their other half, their one and only Spirit Mate.

Over this painful fear the Souls cast a light veil, and thereby the pain of fear was hidden in an energy field of its own called the wisdom plane/sixth dimension.

In the sixth dimension there was much confusion and that could lead to that the now completely separated Spirit Mates becoming involved in sexual relationships with other than their Spirit Mate because they longed for the oneness of their true Self, their Spirit and the oneness with God, our FatherMother and our brotherssisters.

Under the influence of these sexual interactions between the separated, many vows were made and many actions performed that did not spring from the Absolute Love between Spirit Mates

This created great distortions of the Absolute Truth and the nature of the     True Reality.

When those involved crosses the bridge to the Higher Worlds and view their lives and actions in God's light of Love, a desire arises to correct the distortions and restore the Truth, and as all desires are granted in the long run, these wishes are also granted, and this is called karma, which consists in corrections of everything that is not in accordance with the Truth.

 

OM

 

In the initiation ceremony, the lighting up of the OM and the third eye when the chillum was lit symbolized the awakening of my pure consciousness.


OM is said to be the sound-image of the total specter of consciousness.


It is pronounced ‘aum’
in Hinduism and ‘a’ designates the day consciousness, ‘u’ the dream consciousness and ‘m’ the dreamless consciousness, which is also called the pure consciousness.


The initiating movement of creationmanifestation is said to have been accompanied by this sound, which is called Amen in Christianity and A’meen in Islam.


Spiritual seekers try to get into contact with their origin by using OM as an object of contemplation in various ways, for example, by chanting it or listening to its vibrations with one’s inner ear or by either drawing its letter-form or visualizing the letter-form 
before one’s inner eye.

 


MOVING THE FOCUS POINT OF CONSCIOUSNESS

 

A mantra is one or more words with inbuilt power induced by the help of the sound waves that the mantra contains.

 

The sound waves result in kriyas, which mean actions, and is a kind of electric shock that can make the body jolt, like my body did when TuTu chanted the mantra of the initiation ceremony, and like it also did the two other times I initiated my meditation on OM.

 

This kind of shocks can move the focus point of consciousness into a new area and thereby, for a shorter or longer time period, give the person access to that field of consciousness of his/her total consciousness which contains the energy combination or archetype of the invoked field of consciousness, and from those experiences which the person achieves from his/her focusing in this particular field of consciousness, a new realization of the nature of reality arises.


One can also move the focus point of consciousness slowly by absorbing the mental idea contained in the mantra.

 

 

THE SHIVA-SHAKTI INVOCATION

 

TuTu initiated the mantra of the ceremony by saying BUM, and this word is one of the many root sounds which is used to bring forth Shiva.


Shiva-Shakti was the second word of the mantra, and this is another designation for the merged masculine and feminine principle, of which Shiva is the masculine part and Shakti the feminine part.


Shambhu is yet another name of Shiva.


Sham alone means welfare or happiness and Bhu is a designation for the place of the Earth.


The total meaning of this name is therefore: "Giver of happiness and welfare on Earth."


TuTu thus induced "the Shiva energy that breaks down ignorance to give space to the awareness of the merged masculine and feminine principle that brings forth happiness and welfare on Earth."


In the initiation, I got a glimpse of this without understanding what happened though, and the contrast to my day consciousness was so big that it only produced fear, but when the glimpse grew to an extent that brought this state of consciousness into harmony with my day consciousness, I discovered that this condition had been my spiritual goal, which I, until then, had not been able to put a name to.

 

 

TUTU AND SHIVA

 

TuTu’s personal use of the Shiva energy was impressive and at times downright awe-inspiring.

 

He broke down my spiritual ignorance through various initiations and my mental ignorance by touching on topics which were taboo for me.


Emotionally, he broke down my ignorance by playing psychodramas, where he brought my deepest fears out into the open.


His psychodramas were scenarios he played out, either as concrete actions or as conversations, which at first I perceived to be future perspectives for my life.


When my emotions calmed down again after the scare of these future prospects, he spoke with me about my emotions in such a way that made me understand that it was a psychodrama he had played out, and that it had got nothing to do with my future prospects.


My first reaction was usually to do everything in my power to not let myself get affected, and when that proved not to be possible, I had to walk the heavy walk through my fears.


Gradually, as I went through them several times, in various ways, I became more and more calm, because I discovered that the fear of a specific event was worse than the event itself, and sometimes a dreaded event did not bring all the devastation that I had feared it would, and in fact, at times, it proved to be a wonderful event beyond my wildest imagination.

 

 Contents part 3

 

TABOO

 

My greatest taboo in the sphere of love was the fact that I was a sexual creaturemanifestation from birth, and TuTu began touching on this taboo one day by telling me that for some time he stayed in a village at the foot of the Himalayas.

In this society, they showed the children a wooden model of the sexual organs as soon as they showed any interest in the topic.

The children were shown how they were built and how they worked, and were encouraged to experiment with their peers to make their own discoveries in the field.

I feared pedophilia if adults recognized that children were sexual creaturesmanifestations, and was shaken by his statements.

 

I remembered the shame of my childhood about my sexuality when I had just discovered it around the age of three by riding on my sister’s knee.


My mother happened to pass by and shamed me so violently that it made an inedible impression in me.


I did not want to be 'one of that kind' who were naughty, so I forbade myself to feel those feelings.

 

When, on occasion, I felt them anyway, I denied it, even to myself.


Sometimes, my feelings and my curiosity went above discipline, and I participated in secret and shameful doctor’s games with the other children to discover myself and them, but I made a habit of fantasizing that it wasn’t I who participated.


When, as an adult, I discovered that I needed to be able to unfold sexually in relation to my husband, my yearlong
self-denial had reached a point where I could not get rid of it because it did not fit into the picture anymore, and my habit of dissociating myself from my sexual feelings by the help of fantasy sat so deep that I could not get rid of it either just because I wanted to be able to make love in purity with my husband.


I told TuTu about my fear of pedophilia, and he said that shame of the natural functions of the body was a contributing factor to pedophilia.


A person who had had a healthy upbringing in the sexual area would develop a sound sense of where the limits went, and thus, would not feel driven to harm children.

 

Besides this, the children would pick up on the openness of society in this area and that would give the child the freedom to express to their parents or other adults if somebody approached them sexually without them wanting to engage, and thus,  paedophilia would be nipped in the bud.

 

 

SEXUAL INNOCENCE

 

Later, he attacked this taboo from various angles, and I began wishing to be able to make love with TuTu in purity without denials or fantasies.


However, I discovered that I wasn’t able to do it on my own and began to pray to my true Self frequently for help.


In the process, eventually, I became able to straighten out my distorted sexuality, and thereby, I discovered the innocent nature of my sexual feelings.


However, I only succeeded towards the end of our life together.


I still remember the day when I succeeded for the first time to honestly follow the swing of my sexual feelings from beginning to end without fantasies or denials of their intensity or lack of the same, and I understood that my prayer had been answered.


I became aware that TuTu had also experienced the difference when he said afterwards: "This was lovemaking, and the difference between making love and having a fuck consists in this."

 

 

JUDGING ABOUT GOOD AND EVIL

 

Like Tutu used the Shiva energy, I used the Shakti energy.


At times, my use of the Kali aspect of the Shakti energy could scare myself.


Kali attacks everything and everybody in all of the material Universe, and she cuts down indiscriminately to eradicate ignorance, which she calls evil, and when she has eradicated all of the material Universe, she reaches for Shiva himself.


He is lying down, smiling in meditation, and at that very moment where she puts her foot on his chest, she realizes that only Shiva can break down ignorance, and as long as she imagined this to be her task she acted out of ignorance.


Realizing this, she bit her tongue off, that is, she stopped judging on the grounds of good and evil.


In my case, my Kali energy was activated by my fear that TuTu represented the worst evil I could imagine: A person who took advantage of another under the mask of love to attain material gain, and I would rather destroy my material resources than let both of us benefit by them, because I did not want to give him material advantages if, in reality, he pretended when he claimed that he loved me.


TuTu often said that my distrust in his love was the greatest problem between us, but I was not able to take that to heart because I wanted to see if he would still be by my side if I were without possessions or position.


Like Kali, I had to bite my tongue off after having lain waste my material Universe.


Internally, I reproached myself in harsh tones that I had not been any wiser, until I found the capacity to forgive myself by the help of my mythological insight.


I realized that the natural consequence of the Kali field becoming active in my consciousness consisted in that I was saturated by its swing and thereby swung on the same frequency.


Thus, I put too high demands on myself when I demanded that I should be able to reach the highest realization of Kali without having gone through the experience.

 

I began giving up my judgments on myself and others from the perspective of good and evil.


Instead, I began finding a new balance in the four basic emotions, because I realized that my fear of losing my beloved led me to walk that extra mile which is required to make difficult things succeed.

 

Pain led me to enlightenment.

 

Integration of my enlightenment led me to joy, and the purpose of this new balance was to make it possible for me to merge with my beloved in higher and higher realms.

 

 Contents part 3

 

TUTU AND THE PRECEPTOR

 

Although I had now been initiated by TuTu, I continued to receive sittings from my preceptor, but shortly afterwards, he began opposing my visits to the preceptor.


Usually, I felt down when I came back from her.


Her opinion about our relationship meant a lot to me, but she did not think it would last because of the age difference, the culture difference and the difficult employment situation in Denmark, which would probably prevent him from getting a job.


He insisted on accompanying me when I went to see her, but after having been in the house once, he insisted on waiting outside.


"Well, are you going down there now again?" he said in his usual gentle and loving tone of voice but with a kind of humorously complaining undertone every time I was about to go, "everything is happening here, and you interrupt the natural flow of events by going."


I invited the preceptor for dinner hoping that it would soften up the atmosphere between them.


He knew that she was opposed to smoking of hashish but after dinner he began making a chillum ready.


He held it out to me with a questioning glance, and when I shook my head, he held it out to her.


She also shook her head.


He lit it himself and then again held it out to me.

 

I was about to sink into the ground from shame, because now she would become aware that I smoked hashish together with him, but then I thought that she might as well get to know it, first instead of last, so I took it and pulled a drag.


Soon the conversation slid into spiritual topics.


She told about the advantages of submitting to the Master’s guidance, and he said that so many Gurus were to be found in India.


It was difficult to evaluate their qualifications, so he preferred to be his own Guru.


She began losing patience, so I hurried to say: "Try to listen to what he says even if he is so young, because he actually says the same as the Master just in a different way."


She calmed down, but a moment later he said in his usual gentle and loving tone of voice but with a firm and rather chilled undertone that he was dissatisfied with my condition when I came from her, and that one should be careful coming up with bad suggestions for the future to people, in particular, when one trained them spiritually.


She said that she had had enough now.

 

She had not come here to be taught by such a green pea.

 

He raised his voice and said in an authoritative voice though still with this amazing gentleness and love coming out in his voice at all times: "Woman, go to your Master and tell him that you do not know what you are doing."


She jumped to her feet, ran out into the hallway and took her coat.


I jumped to my feet and ran after her.


She was already out of the door and had almost reached her car before I caught up with her.


"Please be kind and stay here," I said.


"No," she said, "I’m not staying here any longer. Now it is up to you what you want to do."


She started her car.


Again, I remembered the dream where I left the Master’s farm.


Could I stop here?

 

The thought made me shrink.


No, I had to wait and see where everything landed.


I went back in and asked if he had had to provoke her in that way and he answered that he had played out a psychodrama to bring both her and me face to face with ourselves, each in our way.


The next day, I called her and said that I would call her back when I felt ready to receive sittings again.

 

 

SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS

 

We talked about getting married, and in our talks about getting married, TuTu said that the most common difficulty in the earthly marriage is possessiveness and sexual jealousy.


I was not aware to which extent I suffered from these emotions, but he warned me and said that possessiveness itself is bad, but sexual jealousy is the most destructive of all emotions, and if these emotions did not change within me, he would suddenly be gone.


I got furious and said that he could refrain from doing anything which gave rise to these emotions in me, then it needed not be a problem.

 

 Contents part 3

 

SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS DIRECTED TOWARDS THE FUTURE

 

He began bringing me face to face with my sexual jealousy and possessiveness one day by telling me that he was preparing me to live as a Brahmin’s wife.


As a Brahmin, he would come to live his life for others, and I also had to learn to live my life for others.


I became excited by the thought.


He said that this life style sometimes meant that he had to make love with other women.


If a woman in a village remained childless, it was customary that you turned to the Brahmin and asked him for help to impregnate the woman, if it was her husband who was sterile.


I turned pale.

 

I wanted to give birth to his child myself and hoped that it was a privilege that was only due to his wife, but now I had to face that I should not count on that.


In my chaotic thoughts, I tried to find a fixed point which would make it possible for me to accept the situation and found out that it would be an advantage if as many as possible were born with his genes, and since he was more loving, caring, compassionate and merciful of my emotions than I ever experienced from anybody before, he would probably not begin this lifestyle before I had become strong enough to live with it.

 

 

SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS DIRECTED TOWARDS THE PAST

 

When we were on our way to Copenhagen Town Hall to pick up our wedding papers, he said: “There is something you should know.


When I was a child, I had a playmate. We lived next door to each other and always played together.


I loved her and promised to marry her when I grew up.


She did not believe me, but I promised myself that I would do it.


However, we moved apart and lost contact until we met in Madras some years later, and my emotions for her had not changed.


Her name is Rani. That means queen.


We saw a lot of each other, but one day, something happened in her family that made her break off her relationship with me.


I wrote several letters, but she maintained that we couldn’t see each other anymore.


I want you to know that I still love her and want to spend at least four-five years of my life together with her.”

 

He had to be joking?!!


I looked investigating at him, but he looked back at me seriously.


"How will you do that when you’re already married to me?" I asked.


"My father also has two wives," he said, "the first wife, whom he married for practical reasons and the other one whom he married out of love."

 

I could readily imagine that I was the one TuTu married for practical reasons, and that she would be the one he married out of love.


I thought that this had got something to do with his preparations of me to live as a Brahmin’s wife and shook it off me.


When first he got to know me better, he would discover that it was I he loved and wanted to be together with.

 

 

SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS DIRECTED TOWARDS THE INTANGIBLE

 

Then he began telling me about Shri Krishna’s relationship with the love of his youth, whose name was Radha with the byname Rani.


The love of this couple was considered an ideal.


I asked why Krishna married somebody else then, but he did not answer and instead said that the woman whom Krishna married was very possessive and jealous.


To me, the coincidence between these bites of Krishna’s story and our situation was striking.


Sometimes, I felt like shaking him and yelling: "Wake up now. It may be that her name is Rani, but I am Rani whether I’m
called this or not, because it is I who is the queen of your heart, whether you like it or not," but I didn’t say anything.


At other times, I felt guilty because the power of my love might have sucked him to me against his will.


I became so tormented by these thoughts that I began praying to God at frequent intervals that he may be liberated from his guilt if he was with me because he owed me something from previous lives, because I did not want to stand in his way if he wanted to be somewhere else.


My jealousy towards Krishna’s Radha Rani was the most difficult of all the forms of jealousy I suffered from, because it was intangible.

 

When I brought up the topic of Rani at an advanced point in time in our life together he looked tired and said: "Now, do you pull that old skeleton out of the closet again?”

But that it did not help me any because it could be something he just said as it happened to be me who was by his side throughout his life.


Even when he told me that Rani was not her real name and that now he wanted to call her by her personal name and me as Rani because it was I who was the queen of his heart, I had difficulties believing him.

 

 Contents part 3

 

KRISHNA AND RUKMINI

 

Only after his death, I decided to read the story about Krishna, the love of his youth Radha Rani and his wife Rukmini Devi, and then my emotions healed at long last.


Krishna was born in the countryside, where it was the custom that the children took care of the cows, so he grew up as a cowherd and consorted with the other cowherds and cowherdesses, among whom Radha Rani was one.


At the time Rukmini heard about him, he had already left Radha Rani and had gone to the big city.


Radha Rani was angry because he left her and lived for some time embittered by his memory.


Rukmini Devi had not met Krishna, but from what she had heard about him, she understood that he was her heart’s chosen one.


Rukmini was a princess and her family was about to marry her off to one of the prominent princes of the time but she did not want this marriage after she had heard about Krishna, even if he was a simple cowherd.

 

She sent him a letter and asked him to come and abduct her before it was too late.


Krishna was courted and could have chosen so many, but her wish resonated in his heart, and he decided to abduct her and marry her, even if he knew that his act would createmanifest an uproar in the royal family, and that he had to prepare himself for an act of war between himself and the prince to be able to go through with his desire.


He succeeded in his endeavor and married Rukmini Devi, had children with her and stayed by her side for the rest of his life.

 

 

SPIRITUALITY AND SEXUALITY

 

The story made me wonder why spiritual aspirants idealized the relationship between Krishna and Radha Rani instead of the relationship between Krishna and Rukmini Devi, but then it occurred to me that it was like the relationship between the Master and me, and I got to perceive the idealization as a song of praise to the platonic love between a Master and his disciple.


I think though that the purification of the mind cannot be completed through platonic love, because the most potent power of love, the sexual power, is not a part of this love.


In spite of my many years of spiritual practice under the guidance of the Master, I had to face that I was unable to do something as simple as following my sexual feelings honestly in my love life with TuTu, and it took many years of practical experience before, at long last, it stood pure.

 

 

PREPARATIONS FOR BHOG

 

It did not occur to me at first that our talks about relationships between couples were psychodramas, but little by little I calmed down, because I realized that nothing concrete happened.


One day, he looked seriously at me and said that these problems could not always be managed with words.

 

Sometimes, you had to experience.


This coincided with what I had read in one of the Master’s books about Bhog, which means to go through the effects.


He wrote that a part of the disciples’ samskaras, massive impressions in the mind, could be cleaned out by the help of the transmission and the disciple’s own spiritual work, but some impressions were so massive that they could only be cleaned out by going through their effects.


The heaviest samskaras lay at the bottom like the heaviest particles in a well, and therefore they only came up for Bhog in the end, and it was this heavy winding up of ties of destiny that TuTu was beginning to prepare me for.

 

 

THE EARTHLY WEDDING

 

He had consulted an astrologer to find the right day for our earthly wedding, and the 22nd of September 1978 was our wedding day.


I felt a triumph on this day, as if I had carried through the World’s most difficult enterprise.


Again and again, a feeling of intoxicating joy went through me by the thought: "Now, he is mine."


We were married on assembly line at the Copenhagen Town Hall, and I grieved over that.


I would rather have had it happen in the church with great solemnity, but I had resigned my membership with the public church, and besides, I had been married once before, and I had learned that it was not proper for a divorcee to dress up in white for a church wedding, and so I did not think it was proper for me to be dressed in all white in a church for my wedding.

  

THE ANGELIC WEDDING

 

DHARMA AND KARMA

 

I had learned that dharma is that part of my destiny which has createdmanifested ties from where I have to go through the effects of my constructive acts, and karma is that part of my destiny from where I have to go through the effects of my destructive acts.


However, as a spiritual aspirant, it was my task to liberate myself from all bindings, whether they were constructive or destructive, to attain liberation.


When TuTu began preparing me for the dissolution of my karma in the sphere of love and I came to know that I had to have relationships with other men for this reason, I became unhappy and was yet another time convinced that he did not love me.

 

 

THE MYTHOLOGICAL HARISHCHANDRA

 

It began with him showing me a cartoon that in brief told the story of the mythological king Harishchandra, the King of Truth.


This king had an experience that made him decide to always stick to the truth.
 

A sage decided to challenge his decision, and in the process, Harishchandra had his realm taken away and his wife, who lived as a maid in the house of another man, together with his son, who was allowed to stay with his mother.

 

In the end, he lived as a slave on the cremation grounds, where he took care of the corpses.


After some years, his son died from a snakebite, and his wife was at the same time falsely accused of the murder of a prince and convicted to death.


He did not know that the accusation was false, and was the one who was going to execute the beheading, but as he was about to swing the sword, all the Gods appeared.


He had now proven that he did not stick to the truth only because he was a king and could afford to be honest, but that he stuck to it under all circumstances, and thereby, he
had impressed the Gods who brought an end to his sufferings by bringing his son back to life and reuniting him and his wife, who were reinstalled as king and queen.


Over time, I had got the impression that TuTu did not tell me mythological stories to entertain me, and I became worried about the separation between king Harishchandra and his wife.

 

 Contents part 3

 

PREPARATION FOR KARMA DISSOLUTION

 

When he had been in Denmark for three months, a letter arrived from his sister.


There were problems in his home, and he talked about going back to Madras.


He suggested me to use the time to our house to order and into meditate on OM every day, while he was gone.


"It would also be an advantage if you lovingly take care of everybody in your surroundings instead of sitting in a corner sulking because I’m not here," he said.


"Do you mean everybody?" I asked.


"Yes," he said.


I looked at him in disbelief.

 

When TuTu came to Denmark, my relationship with my former boyfriend had been over for a year, but we had the same work place, so he was able to keep track of what happened in my life, and he had got a nervous breakdown when I married TuTu.


In his despair, he called TuTu and begged him for permission to speak with me one-on-one.


I did not feel like doing it, but even if TuTu did not say anything and looked at me in his usual gentle and loving way, there was a strange silence behind his lack of reaction to my refusal that made me feel like I had a heart of stone if I did not go to speak to my former boyfriend, and so I went
to see him anyway.


He appeared as if transformed and said that he had attained special powers during his nervous breakdown, and this had made him very strong, so he had decided to take me from TuTu.


It scared me, so I told TuTu about it afterwards.


He said: "Yes that he thinks he can."


"Yes, but I’m afraid that he may also be able to in one way or another," I said.


"That he cannot," TuTu said, "but he has to discover it himself."

 

When now he said that my care should embrace everybody, I asked: "Does that also go for my former boyfriend?"


"Yes," he said, "I’m in every man and every man is in me."

 

I looked suspiciously at him and asked how far this care should go.


"There should be no limits," he answered gently.


"Not against sleeping with him either?" I asked disbelievingly.


"No," he said.

 

After he left, I soon got everything in order and meditated on a daily basis on OM.


I began seeing my former boyfriend on friendly terms.


He was in the process of reading a book by one of the contemporary psychologists who had createdmanifested a new form of therapy, and he recommended me to read the therapist’s book, which thrilled him because he recognized the description of those emotions he had lived through when I married TuTu.

 

It had been as if all the plugs that had kept his emotions down since childhood had flown out, and even if it had been a painful experience he would not have wanted to do without it, because it raised his general level of energy in a completely new way.


The therapist claimed that he was able to give his clients the same experience, but under safe conditions, so the clients could get access to those energies which the suppressed emotions blocked.

 

 

THE PAIN OF SEPARATION 1

 

In the meantime, Christmas drew closer, and TuTu’s arrival was set for the 23rd of December.


I dared not look forward to it until I saw him in the airport, because he had come five months later than we had agreed on the last time he came to Denmark.


On the 22nd of December the phone rang.


It was a telephonic telegram with a laconic message: "Delayed."


I staggered away from the phone and sank down on the sofa.


A sharp pain went through my heart and spread to my head.


After a couple of hours, the physical pain began diminishing.

 

The following days, I went around in a haze.


Most of the time, I lay on the sofa
and stared out into empty air.

 

 

IN THERAPY

 

An exchange of letters began, and he wrote that he lost his passport in New Delhi, and there was trouble in his family, so it would probably take a long time before he came to Denmark again.


I looked for a way to make the waiting time short.


My sister and my former boyfriend had talked about going to America to put the new therapy to the test.


Halfway in a haze, I began taking steps to participate.


Maybe therapy could help me out of my unbearable emotions, and maybe it could also strengthen me so as to be able to maintain my balance in the future when TuTu did something that might otherwise throw me off balance.


I wrote to TuTu about my plans and got a letter in which he wrote: "Why use all that money in a therapy instead of coming here and sharing with yourself."


He meant that we were two halves making one whole, so when I shared with him I shared with myself and yet another time he stroke right into my fears of being taken advantage of materially under the mask of love.


I asked various people what they thought of his suggestion, but when everybody unanimously advised me against going to Madras, I wrote back that my decision was firm and that he could come along to America if he wanted to.


He replied that as things stood now, that option was remote.


To my surprise, I was relieved.


My purpose with the journey was to find the strength to be together with him, and I did not think I would be able to concentrate on the therapy if he was there.


I sought permission of leave from my job, put up my house for sale, and when everything had fallen into place smoothly, a letter came from TuTu where he wrote that now he was coming.


I wrote back that it would be better to wait and meet when I came back to Denmark, because it was too late to change anything, but in the beginning of June 1979 he arrived in Denmark again, and we had three intense weeks together before I left for Los Angeles.

 

In Los Angeles, I received a letter from one of the Master’s disciples, who wrote that the Master would come to Denmark by the end of May 1980, and that became decisive for my decision to return.


The rest of my family wanted to stay in Los Angeles for some more time, so by the end of May, I left for Denmark alone.


TuTu looked tired when I met him in the airport.


My body jerked when he put his arms around me looking lovingly at me and said: "My wife."


So much was implied in his pronunciation of those two words that I did not know
which leg to stand on from joy.


I looked into his radiant eyes, and was once again enchanted by his magical being.


I was eager to find out if what I had learned in the therapy would affect our relationship for the better.

 

TuTu thought that the therapy was superficial and would not improve anything, and it proved to be true.

 

 Contents part 3


REUNION WITH THE MASTER

 

TuTu and the Dane who had come with him to the airport wanted to visit a friend with whom they both stayed in the beginning of my stay in America, but I wanted to meet the Master.


I asked TuTu to come along because I hoped to get a clearer picture of him by seeing him together with the Master, but he refused.


When we separated, a sting of pain went through me.


In accordance with my own choice, I had been separated from him for eleven months.


Then why did it hurt so badly to see him go another way for a couple of hours?


I could not go with them, because I had to see the Master.


With difficulty, I managed to tear myself away and took the bus to Hellerup.

 

When I came into the house, the wing doors of the Master’s room were open.


A few disciples sat in his room, and without looking around I went in and sat down.


Immediately, I felt the bliss-creatingmanifesting power which radiated from him.


It was a sad contrast to the heaviness I felt in my heart.


"Oh, Master," I thought, while at the same time tears rolled down my cheeks, "I have this pain within me, and I don’t know what to do.”


The power intensified, the pain disappeared, and I sank into meditation.


When the meditation was over, I quietly got up and left the house.


My feet were light as feathers and I almost danced down the street, because now I had fulfilled my duty to the Master and now I was going to be together with TuTu.

 

 

 Contents part 3

 

PURIFICATIONS FOR SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS 1

 

When I arrived at their friend’s house, a big group of people was present.


Among them was a woman TuTu had written to me about a short time ahead of my departure from Los Angeles.

 
In the letter, he had told me about the people he had met during my absence, who had meant something special to him, and this woman and he had been lovers.


I sat down next to him and he put a protective arm around me and took my hand in his.


I looked curiously at her.


She stared out into the air and carefully avoided my inquiring gaze.


Next to her sat her new boyfriend.


I wondered about her choice.

 

He and TuTu were diametrically opposites.


She wore too much make-up around her eyes, and that gave her a sickly appearance.


Her clothes were ill fitting.

 

"It is wise of TuTu to confront me with a woman who arouses my compassion rather than my jealousy," I thought, "that will make it easier for me to overcome my jealousy."


Some bread, butter, jam, knives and cutting boards lay on the floor, which also served as a table.


Incidentally, the young woman and I reached for the bread at the same time.


Our eyes met, and I tried to smile.


She tried to send back a timid smile and hurried to look out into the empty air again.


I became friendly disposed and got up the courage to butter a slice of bread and give it to her.


She quickly looked at me and received it with an almost inaudible thanks.


It was getting late, and many visitors had left.


I was waiting for TuTu to give the signal to leave, but instead he suggested that we stayed overnight.


Many of the other guests also decided to stay, and some foam rubber mattresses were rolled out on the floor.


We lay down on the floor in a way that made space for as many as possible.


The young woman’s new boyfriend, she, TuTu and I lay next to each other.


I rested my head on his shoulder and tried to drop off to sleep, but I could not help keeping an eye on the young woman on his other side.


Suddenly, he held out his free arm to her, and she threw herself in his arm with a half-stifled sob.


Conflicting emotions of jealousy and compassion arose in me.


She was like a drowning person who clung to a straw
.


A moment later, she got up and got ready to leave.


TuTu bent over me and gently said that she wanted to go home, and he would take her.


I nodded mutely.

 

They left.

 

Desperation and jealousy hammered within me, but I felt at the mercy of fate and saw no other option than accepting events.


It occurred to me that her new boyfriend also would feel hurt, and I held out an arm and stroked his hair.


He seized my hand.

 

It made me stronger that somebody else needed my help, and I was grateful that I had something to do in the middle of my chaotic emotions.


I got up and made some food, and as soon as we had eaten he dropped off to sleep.


I felt lost and listened intensely for TuTu’s footsteps on the staircase.


In the end, I gave up hope of seeing him again until the next morning, but then, at long last, I heard his footsteps.


I jumped to my feet and went out to meet him in the doorway.


He looked tired.


"How is everything here?" he asked in a tired gentle voice and looked investigating at me.


"Good, now that you’re back," I answered and told him what happened, "how did it go for you?"


He told me that he had consoled her as best as he could.


They had made love, and he had told her that his feelings for her were the same, as they always had been.

 

The moment he said that I felt calm.

 

He did not deny his feelings for her and they were as they had always been, and that implied that his feelings for me also were as they had always been and that he would not deny his feelings for me in front of others.

 

I did not have to manipulate or do anything in particular to win his heart.

 

His feelings were as they had always been irrespective of me having left him to go to Los Angeles for such a long time.

 

They were as they had always been for both her and me, and we had each our own place in his life and his heart and at that moment, I trusted that it was I who was the queen of his heart and that nothing or nobody could change that.

 

Furthermore, his love for her was of such a nature that when she was in a state of despair, he would come to her and console her in whichever way was required, irrespective of the controversial nature and consequence of such an act.

 

I was his wife and if he would do that for a lover it told me that he would do that for me as well, which meant that I could trust him even under the most unusual circumstances.

 

For me that was an unusual clear way of thinking.

 

When I was with him, it often happened that his very presence made me think along lines that were very different from my habitual way of thinking just like when I was together with the Master.

 

At one point in time she had said that she longed for her boyfriend and had asked TuTu to go back and tell him that she missed him and needed him.


Her boyfriend had woken up, and when he heard that, he got up and left.


My joy that TuTu was back again overshadowed my concern about the development of events.
 

We lay down, and when I put my head on his shoulder, a feeling of intense joy and triumph went through me.

 

I had managed to live through the events of the night without losing my mind.


When we woke up the next morning, I was still in high spirits, so when TuTu told the Dane about the events of the evening, I was able to listen with a smile.


The Dane threw some stolen glances at me, and that made me even more pleased about the calm and strength I felt.

 

 Contents part 3


THE HELP OF THE CROWN PRINCE 1

 

Late in the afternoon, the Dane, one of his friends, TuTu and I went out to visit one of their other friends.


TuTu was warm and attentive, and I was happy and strong.


In the evening, we went into one of the music places in Christiania, which is an area of Copenhagen where people live in a way which is out of conformity with the norms of the surrounding society, and I sat down and watched how both men and women lit up and got life in their faces when TuTu was attentive to them.


We stayed overnight with the friends of the Dane and TuTu, and when I woke up the following morning, I was restless and unhappy.

 

My habitual way of thinking had returned and I felt the agony of my sexual jealousy and possessiveness.


I wanted to get away from there.


I told TuTu and he asked if he should come with me.


"That’s up to you," I said coldly, because he could even ask that, as I thought it went without saying that I wanted him to come with me.


He said that in that case he would stay for some more time.


When I walked down the street, I hoped to hear fast footsteps behind me, but they did not appear.


I went to Albertslund to my sister’s empty house, showered, and then I went to Hellerup to visit the Master.


The wing-doors of his room were closed and remained closed during my visit, and the Crown prince took care of the evening sitting.


He began transmitting.

 

I sank deeper and deeper into meditation.


Suddenly, TuTu appeared before my inner eye.


He had a cheerful glimpse in his eyes and looked questioningly at me.


I thought angrily: "Go away. You give me nothing but pain."


His face remained questioning, but became serious.


Could it really be so that he did not know how much pain he cost me?


I became mollified and thought: "All right, if you’re in my sister’s house when I reach there after this sitting, I‘ll trust you in the future."


His image disappeared.


A moment later, it appeared again, and he asked a question without words: "Is it all right if I bring the Dane with me?"


"Yes, yes," I thought impatiently, because he even considered such a trifle.


His image disappeared.


From that moment on, I could not continue the meditation.


Impatiently, I waited for the sitting to get over and done with.


If TuTu were not in my sister’s house when I came back, I would no longer trust him and put up with those sufferings I experienced together with him.


If he was there, it was a miracle, because he did not have the key of the house and could not know whether I was with the Master, my family or in some other place instead of at my sister’s empty house, and then I would trust him in the future.

 

When the sitting was over, I hastened down to the commuter train.


I shuffled restlessly back and forth on the platform.


At long last, the train came and I went in to sit down, but I was too restless to sit and so I got up again.


My heart was in my throat, and my thoughts were racing back and forth.

 

Finally, we reached Albertslund Station.


I reached the path leading down to my sister’s house.


From a long distance, I could already see that nobody sat on the step in front of the house.


I slowed down.


No, it was also too good to be true.

 

Nothing could be done about it.


It had to be over.


When I reached the main door, I heard music from inside the house.


With trembling hands, I got my key out, unlocked the door and stepped in.


TuTu and the Dane sat in the living room, and the music streamed out of the stereo speakers.


I looked at TuTu, and he looked back at me with a mischievous expression in his eyes and an inscrutable smile.


I threw myself around his neck.


When again I found words, I told him everything.


He frowned: "Did you really think that I would ever hurt you?"


"Oh, I didn’t really know what to think," I answered.

 

At that point in time, I did not understand that it was not he that hurt me but my feelings of sexual jealousy and possessiveness that hurt me.


He got up, went into the adjacent room and came back with a deep purple flower, which consisted of a heavy cluster of small flowers.


He handed it to me in a very particular way.


Purple!


The color of magic!


That magic which springs from the merger of blue, which represents the Divine love, and red, which represents the earthly love.


I experienced the handing over of the flower as an accolade and a sealing of our transcendental contact, and I looked at him with tears of gratitude in my eyes.

 

"How did you actually get in?" it suddenly occurred to me.


"The Dane has a key, which your sister gave him," TuTu said.


Oh yes, now I remembered that she gave him a key so he could stay the night when he was in Copenhagen, while she was in Los Angeles.

 

 Contents part 3

 

TAKING LEAVE OF THE MASTER

 

Still, I wanted to see the Master and TuTu together, because I felt that there was a connection between them, which I was eager to unravel, but every time I suggested that we should go out to see the Master, he did not want to come along, and he also opposed that I went.


That made me extra attentive since he usually did not oppose my wishes.

 
"Why do you mind that?" I asked.


"What are you going out there for? You interrupt the natural flow of events by leaving."


In the end, I decided to take leave of the Master.


For once, TuTu agreed to come with me but he did not want to come inside the house, and waited outside.


The wing-doors of the Master’s room were open, and both that and the adjacent room were full of people.


I stood behind the crowd.


"I have come to say goodbye," I thought.


I waited for something to happen, but after a few moments, I accepted the idea that our departure would take place without any special reaction from his side.


At that moment, everyone was asked to leave the Master’s room, so he could rest.


People got up and streamed out, and when the last one had left, I hurried to step in, ready to withdraw if I ran into the slightest hindrance, but nobody objected and the doors were closed behind me.


I went over to his bed and sat down on the floor in front of him.

 

He was lying in the bed and looked at me.


It was my intention to repeat what I had thought, but I could not bring the words over my lips.


"I’ve got married," I said instead.


He did not answer.

 

I mentioned TuTu’s personal name.


With a jolt, he sat up in the bed and questioningly repeated the name.


"Oh, you’re going to start a business together," he then said.


"Yes," I answered surprised.


I had not seen him get up with a jolt before.


"What kind of business is it that you’re going to get into?" he asked.


"We’ve been thinking about something with boats in India because that would be a benefit for many people," I answered.


He seemed to lose interest, nodded and lay down again.


"I’m so grateful to you," I said.


I had no more at heart and waited to hear if the Master had anything to say to me.


We sat in silence for a few minutes.

 

“Do you want to rest now?” I asked.

 

“There is no rest for me anywhere,” he said, “there is too much work to be done”.


A preceptor put her head in and asked me to leave the room, because there were also others who wanted to talk privately with the Master, so I got up and left.

 

 

THE PAIN OF SEPARATION 2

 

One morning, five days after my return, TuTu came into the bedroom and said that I should get up, but this particular morning I pulled the cover over my head and refused to get up.


TuTu laughed lovingly and said to the Dane: "There you see how close we are. She senses my decision, and therefore she doesn’t want to meet the day."

 

I pulled the cover away from my head.


"What do you mean?"


"I have decided to return to Madras."


I pulled the cover over my head again and said nothing.


He gently put his hands on the cover and shook me a bit back and forth: "Ooooh don’t do that. Come alive. Come o...o..o..n."


I did not answer.


He got ready to leave together with the Dane, and that used to get me up in a hurry, but I did not move.


"Come up now," he said in his usual loving and gentle tone of voice but with a complaining undertone mixed with cheerfulness, "it’s a beautiful day, and you are just lying there without meeting it."


"I can’t be bothered," I said coldly.


"Come and help me," he said to the Dane and together they pulled the cover off me and got me out of bed.


TuTu said that he got a letter from his sister.

 

His father was ill, and the family needed him.


I did not answer.

 

I just wanted to close my eyes and pretend that nothing had happened.


In the end, I gave in.


"I want to come along," I said.


"Time is not ripe," he answered, "you have to be patient and wait."


"You only say that because you don’t want me to come along," I said.


He shook his head and said: "All right, you can come along."


I got doubtful.

 

If I went along, it was equivalent to burning all my bridges, and that I could do for myself, but I did not think I could make such a choice for my son, and he was not old enough to be able to manage on his own.


"If you go, will you come back again then?" I asked instead in a thin voice.


"Yes, I’ll be back after a couple of months," he said.


"Do you promise?"


He nodded.


I remembered with painful clarity the separations we already had gone through and sat sulking and silent in the car.


"If he really loves me, he doesn’t go," I thought.


"I don’t go anyway," TuTu said.


"You don’t mean it," I said, "it is just something you say to make me happy right now."


"No, no," he said, "I don’t go if you feel that way."


I got doubtful.


If I managed to hold him back, maybe he would reproach me later that his family had suffered because of his absence.


Suppose now his father died?


My resistance ebbed out.


We booked his ticket for nine days later.

 

 Contents part 3

 

THE MELTED HEART

 

One day, he mentioned in passing that he met my former boyfriend in the shopping mall and had the impression that he felt very bad and was very lonely.


I did not answer.


I knew that my former boyfriend had come back from Los Angeles and probably felt depressed.

 

We had not seen much of each other in America, and the therapy had not given the result he had hoped for.


Without knowing how I knew it, I knew that TuTu expected me to do something in that context, but that I was not willing to.

 

However, TuTu kept mentioning his name at various occasions, and the undertone of his loving and mild voice became increasingly more ominous every time, not as a threat so as to force me to perform an act that I did not want to do but as a warning that some actions were necessary for my life to unfold in the right way, no matter what he or I felt about it at the personal level.


I wringed my brain to find out how it would be possible for me to console my former boyfriend without missing out on TuTu’s company, so when the Dane and we were on our way out to dine one day, I suggested that we drove by the hostel where he lived and asked him if he wanted to come along.


We stopped by the hostel, and I went upstairs and rang the doorbell.


A fairly long time passed before the door was opened, and my former boyfriend’s pale and sad face appeared at the door.


When he saw me, a faint glimpse lit up in his eyes.


I told him my errand, but he didn’t want to come along.
 

When I came down, TuTu’s face looked stifled in spite of the love that was always to be seen in his facial expression even under the direst of circumstances.


"Oh, so he didn’t want to come along," he asked gently
.


"No," I answered defiantly, because it did not feel like the right action that I had done, "but now he has got the chance, so he probably prefers to be alone."


"Is that the right action?" TuTu asked.


I did not answer.


We only had so little time left together before he had to travel.


"Let’s flip a coin about it?" he said in a milder tone of voice.


I nodded.


He flipped the coin, and I lost.

 

I tried with a timid objection: "Suppose he doesn’t want me to stay there?"


"Don’t worry about that. We’ll wait here until you have asked him."


I went upstairs and rang the doorbell again.


This time, the door was opened fast and my former boyfriend’s face became visible at the door with hope radiating from his eyes.


"We thought that it might be a good idea that I stayed here for a while, if you want me to," I said.


He nodded.


"All right, then I’ll go down and tell the others that they don’t have to wait for me," I said.


He nodded again.


I became despondent.


TuTu was in continuous movement all over the city, and I could not be sure where to meet him later, but then I got an idea.


I would leave the car with him and the Dane, because then we had to agree on a specific time they had to pick me up again.


My former boyfriend had come with me downstairs, and when he spotted TuTu, he walked over to him and thanked him because he had let me stay there.


TuTu looked l compassionately at him, put his hand on his shoulder and said in his most gentle voice: "Don't think about it my friend and don’t take time into consideration."


"What is it that you are saying?" I thought in a state of shock, "are you giving me away indefinitely?

 

Why, it may take years, maybe a lifetime, if his heart has to open up from that condition he is in, and then what about you and me?"


TuTu had told me that I was the only one who could open up my former boyfriends’ heart, but that had not made me more receptive to his suggestion.


Again, I felt in the grip of fate, for I had gradually learned that when I had the feeling that I had now I might as well jump into whatever was ahead of me instead of trying to escape it.


How could I be sure to meet TuTu tomorrow for that matter, it suddenly occurred to me?

 

Tomorrow was the great day!


TuTu had told me that the following day held very special energies that were suitable for the great initiation, and I wanted to be together with him on that day so I could achieve it, whatever it consisted of.


"You can take the car," I said.


"It doesn’t matter. You can keep it," he said.


My resistance ebbed out.


I decided to put TuTu out of my head and concentrate on what was ahead of me.


We went upstairs to my former boyfriend’s room and sat down to talk.


He looked at me with a glance that made me think: "Oh, he loves me just as dearly as I love TuTu," and I was filled up with compassion for his love and pain, because of it's hopelessness.


I put my arms around him, and we sat for several hours and talked in low voices about his situation.

 

When he came back to Denmark, he looked up his brother, who had had all his things stored, but his brother, who was an alcoholic, had left his apartment, which now was occupied by accidental alcoholics and drug addicts.


All his possessions had disappeared, so now he had hit bottom in all areas.


It was almost midnight when I decided to go to Albertslund, hoping to meet TuTu there, although I felt that this was not the right action.


I drove towards Albertslund, but felt with increasing certainty that I wouldn’t meet TuTu there.


He wasn’t there either, and I became so distraught over it that I screamed his name with tears flowing down my cheeks.


I could not fall asleep, but in the end, I decided to give up trying to see TuTu and instead go to meet my former boyfriend when I woke up, so as to be able to finish this, whatever that was.


Then, I dropped off to sleep.

 

The following morning, I immediately drove to my former boyfriend’s, and when we had spoken for a couple of hours, I suggested that we went to town.


I hoped that he felt strong enough now to be able to tolerate that TuTu joined us.


When we came downstairs to the car, I found a piece of gold paper stuck under one of the windshield wipers.


I knew immediately that TuTu had been by and left this greeting for me.


Gold is noblest of all metals, and in this way, he told me that I was facing a decisive battle, where it was important that I acted in accordance with the noblest of endeavors.


My plan of trying to meet TuTu did not feel like the right action, but I shook the feeling off, and we went to various places where TuTu often came and knocked on the doors, but nobody opened.


We went to Christiania and walked around there, until we ran into a married couple who were also looking for him.


When I spoke with them, I got a feeling that TuTu was in Christiania to fulfill their desire to see him, but would stay away as long as they were together with us, out of consideration for both my ex-boyfriend and me.


I could not do anything about this.


We went back to the hostel.


Little by little, as our talks progressed, my heart gradually became softer and softer in compassion with the sufferings of my former boyfriend, and when he asked me to stay overnight, I said yes immediately.


We lay in each other’s arms, when suddenly I became aware of my heart.


It felt as if it melted, oozed out of my body like steam and left an empty hole.


The following morning, he looked glad and self-confident, and I did not think of leaving him anymore.


"How are you doing?" I asked.


"I’m fine now," he said, "and you don’t have to stay here any longer."


"I don’t mind staying," I said.

 

"Yes, but I feel fine now, so it is all right that you’re leaving" he said.


We went for a small walk before I left for Østerbro, where I met TuTu at the first place I came to.


He smiled warmly when he saw me.


"Well, how did it go?"


I told him what had happened, and when I mentioned that I had screamed his name, he said that he had felt it.


When I had finished narrating, he mentioned something about heart conditions.


I had forgotten my heart-experience and told him about it.


He nodded pleased and began talking about the laws for the expansion of consciousness.


"There are no limits to the expansion of consciousness," he began.


I don’t remember what more he said because it felt as if my mind expanded more and more as he spoke, and in the end, I got scared.


"I become so high that thoughts cannot follow," I said and looked frightened at him.


"Yes, I’ll blow your mind sky-high," he said and laughed.


"I have to lie down," I said.


I went in and lay down in the adjacent room.


The light streamed out like a crown from my head, but in the course of a quarter of an hour, the condition subsided and I joined the group again.


Later, when we came down to the car, the patch, which was on the canvas roof of the car, had disappeared.


I had bought a used gray Citroen convertible, and the previous owners had repaired a hole in the roof with a red heart-shaped patch.


Instead of the heart there was now an open hole, and I thought that it was a strange coincidence that my car had the same condition as myself.

 

 Contents part 3

 

TUTU’S HEART

 

TuTu had spoken about us going to Lolland to say goodbye to his friends there before he left for India.

 

I imagined that I would be together with him without interruption the last few days, but already after a couple of hours, he began mentioning my former boyfriend’s situation again.


On our way to Lolland, he spoke about him with such determination that I suggested we went by to ask him if he wanted to come along.


TuTu nodded, and we drove by the hostel.


I went up and asked if he wanted to come along, but he did not want to.


When I returned to the car, TuTu asked if it would not be better that I stayed.


I shook my head determined, and he suggested that we should let the coin decide the issue, but again I shook my head determined.


"But, what is it you want then?" he asked.


"I want to be together with you," I answered, "there are only a few days left before you leave, and I can take care of my former boyfriend afterwards."


He nodded and said: "As you wish, but is it the right thing?"


I did not answer.


I did not care if it was right or wrong as long as I did not have to separate from him just now.


We left, TuTu at the wheel, the Dane next to him and me behind.


I lay down and let myself be rocked by the car, and again I became aware of the wonderful feeling of the empty hole where my heart used to be.


I expressed my wonder and a moment later TuTu asked the Dane to take over the wheel and came to the back of the car.


I rested my head on his chest and discovered that his heartbeat could not be heard.


"Oh, you have a heart like mine," I exclaimed.

 

He nodded.


I remembered how worried I had been about his heart, previously.


One time, I had been lying with my head on his chest and had become aware that his heart was galloping ahead.


I told him my observation and said that I worried about it because I believed that it would cut short his life.


He answered that it was my own heart I heard, but I thought that at least I was able to decide if it was my own or his heart I heard, and I decided to pray for the poor galloping heart.


Now, I understood that he had spoken the truth, and that it was thus my own heart I had been praying for.

 

 

CONFIRMATION OF THE CONDITION OF THE MELTED HEART

 

At a later time, when the Crown Prince was in Denmark, the conversation fell on the conditions of the heart, and some disciples spoke about their experiences.


A disciple told that once he had experienced it as if he had no heart, because it had melted away.


The Crown Prince said that this condition was due to him surrendering his heart to God, but it often happened that a disciple changed his/her mind and took his/her heart back again.


I said that once I had had the same experience out of compassion for another human being.


He looked investigating directly into my eyes for a moment and asked: "Out of compassion?"


"Yes."


"At that time you had a higher condition than you normally have," he said, and now I understood that exactly my being together with my former boyfriend had made possible the great initiation TuTu had spoken about.

 

 

TUTU’S DEPARTURE

 

When we came back to Copenhagen, TuTu gathered a few belongings in a travel bag, and we were a small group who followed him to the airport.


Again, in a flash, he stepped out of the time-space sphere in which I found myself, and the time cage closed in on me again.

 

 

PREPARATION FOR PSYCHODRAMA

 

One month after his departure, I received a letter from him, where he wrote in foggy terms that he had smoked opium.


I got worried, called him in Madras and said that I would fly down there immediately to see what was going on.


He sounded the way he used to and said in an authoritative voice that time was not ripe.


I realized that I had only two weeks left of my vacation, and instead I planned the trip, got permission of leave from my job and just before Christmas time I was on my way to India with a four months stay ahead of me.


TuTu had written that he would not come to New Delhi to receive me, but instead send a friend, who would take care of me and help me to move on.


The Dane lived in Poona at that time and surprised me by receiving me at the airport.


TuTu’s friend was also there, but it proved that he had not been able to get a train ticket to Madras for me, so he suggested that I stayed with him and his family for a week or so.


The Dane had two tickets for Poona the same afternoon and suggested that I went with him and met one of the most discussed of the contemporary spiritual teachers.


The trip from New Delhi to Madras took 48 hours, the trip to Poona took 24 hours, and the trip from there to Madras also took 24 hours, so I decided that I might as well go with the Dane and thereby have company for half of the time of my trip to Madras.

 

Twenty-four hours later, I found myself in the Dane’s large and airy two-story bamboo hut in Poona.

 

I met the spiritual teacher, but I lost interest very fast when I saw that his private quarters consisted in a big luxurious house surrounded by iron gratings with a gate.


In front of the gate stood heavily armed guards, and none of this expressed that trust in the true Self that I wanted to find in a spiritual teacher.

 

I had problems getting a train out of Poona, and when a couple of weeks had passed, I called up TuTu to tell him about the situation.


Two days later, he came to Poona to pick me up.


There was something new, strange and hard about his appearance, which I hadn’t experienced before.


In the train on our way to Madras, he said through clenched teeth that he had to come to pick me up because we needed at least two months for what was now going to transpire.


"What is that?" I asked interested.


He did not answer.


When we came closer to Madras, the atmosphere between us became a little warmer.


"Tell me what you fear the most," he asked.


I was just about to tell him that at this time I feared the most that he would let me down for a younger woman, but then I changed my mind.


If he was as wise as I imagined, he probably knew it already.


"Find out yourself," I answered instead.

 

 Contents part 3

 

TUTU’S ILLNESS 1

 

TuTu had carved a bamboo flute, which he often played both in nature and at home.


By the mouthpiece, he had carved the number 22.


Even though I knew that it was his holy name, I asked him what it meant, because I wanted to hear him say it out loud.


“Why that's my name” he said, and I nodded in satisfaction.


Then he added: "Besides this, it also has a different meaning. Have you ever heard of a catch 22?"


"No," I said.

 

After his death I investigated it at the library.

 

A catch 22 refers to a no-win situation, where circumstances are such that you are accused of wrongs no matter what you do.

 

In retrospect, I realize that both I and others accused him of a wrong in the form of lack of love for me as my spouse, because he was not only willing to step aside for other men to step into the role of my spouse for a while, but that he, on top of it, was even willing to bring me together with these men, and both I and others saw that as a wrong in his behavior, in his marriage with me.

 

From where I stand today, I see that his surrender to the highest spiritual principles of unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy demanded that he was willing to step aside to make space for other men in my life and even contribute to my interaction with them by leading me to them, to make possible for me the most all-encompassing deliverance from my old karmic bindings in the area of love.

 

So today, I can see that, from an earthly perspective, he was accused of a wrong in relation to me by acting the way he did, but that he would also have been accused for a wrong if he had not acted the way he did, seen from a spiritual perspective.


A catch 22 also means that those with power and authority have the right to do to you what you cannot prevent them from doing.


Both these interpretations proved to be accurate in TuTu’s life.

 

While I was in Madras, he met with an accident.


He was driving his motorcycle when a rickshaw driver made a sudden maneuver, and he told me later that he had had the choice of taking on a problem himself or hit the rickshaw driver, and he had never regretted that he saved the life of the man in spite of the chronic pain problem the accident proved to inflict on him.


He made an abrupt turn of the motorcycle so that it drove away from the man, and instead, he himself was hurled over the wheel towards the rickshaw with which he collided with great force.


In spite of many examinations, the doctors could not find a concrete reason for the pain in the left hand side of his lower back, which had been stitched after having taken the impact of the blow, and for this reason, they would not give TuTu the painkilling medicine he needed.


Therefore, TuTu chose to medicate himself by buying the required medicine in the black market.


He called the opium poppy’s juice, which is used to manufacture painkillers such as opium, morphine, heroin and other morphological preparations for the medicine of the Gods that they had given as a gift to ease humankind's pains.


Unfortunately, humankind could not prevent those with power and authority to do what they wanted, and they thought it was their task to decide who should have access to this pain relief.


TuTu thought that it was up to the individual to decide, but he couldn’t prevent those in power and authority to do what they wanted either, and they did not want to give him access to the pain relief that he felt he needed, and they punished him with imprisonment when they discovered that he had taken matters in his own hand.


At a later point, I thought: "How big must the sacrificial pyre become before society comes to its senses and allows the individual access to the pain treatment that he/she himself/herself feels a need for, whether their pain is of a physical, psychological, social or spiritual nature?"

when I saw the sad state of affairs surrounding people who are addicted to painkilling medicine, in particular, when I heard of a desperate robbery committed by an addict with withdrawal pains, in fear of having to go through withdrawal pains.

 

 

PURIFICATION OF SEXUAL JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS 2

 

While I was in Madras, he played out a psychodrama that I could not escape, and it exactly revolved around my fear of him letting me down for a younger woman.


He had a friend in Madras with whom he was together every day, and when we had had my luggage put in place, he said that we were invited to visit his friend’s family.


I was looking forward to be introduced to his family and his friends at long last.


His friend had a sister who was fifteen years younger than me, and whom I tried to make friends with during the visit, but she kept me at a distance.


When we left from there, TuTu asked, if I had noticed anything in particular about her.


"No," I said, "what should that be?"


"She is jealous of you," he said.


"Why?"


"Because you are my wife."

 

"Well," I thought, "that’s why she kept me at a distance."


Aloud I said: "Well that’s sad for her."


"Yes," he said, "I don’t know what to do with it either. I tried and tried to avoid it, but I could not help falling in love with her."


I looked at him astounded.


Why did he tell me that?


"I see," I said.


"Yes, there is that strange thing about love that it sneaks in on you and goes through all cracks and openings."

 

My stomach started burning.


He kept speaking, and before we reached home my inside was in flames out of jealousy.


He went to bed immediately and dropped off to sleep, but I could not sleep and went out on the terrace and stared out into the empty air, while my intestines writhed.

 

In the course of the next couple of months, the young woman treated me with contempt without concealing that she was happy not to be as geriatric as me, and it tormented me that TuTu did not do anything to support me against her attacks but maintained this alien and hard way in his appearance which kept me at a distance.


At the same time, he frequently came up with comments about his warm feelings for her, and that brought me totally out of balance to such an extent that I cut off all my long hair as a protest, because it had not done me any good to make myself look as beautiful as I was able to so as to win TuTu’s heart.

 

One day, she took me for a walk, and I hoped to make friends with her at long last, but after a short time, she told me that TuTu had said to her that he would go to Denmark and make a lot of money and then come back to her, but she really did not care.


She was only dealing with him out of pity, because she was actually in love with somebody else, but maybe I knew what his plans were?


My stomach contracted.


I pulled myself together and said: "I really don’t know anything about that. You see, he loves so many, and I don’t know where you are in that hierarchy, but I know this much that he has a great love for his childhood sweetheart."


"I have heard about her," she said in a thin voice.


"Yes," I continued mercilessly and lined up various people whom TuTu loved, and went on: "I may be at the very bottom of this hierarchy, but that also has its advantages. Then he doesn’t bother about impressing me, so I get to see something of him that nobody else gets to see."


Her patronizing smile vanished, and I felt a mean satisfaction about that.

 

The following day, TuTu said coldly to me: Oh, so you took my friend’s sister for a walk yesterday?"


"Why do you think so?" I asked.

 

"Her behavior towards me has changed, and she says that the two of you went for a walk yesterday, so I suppose you have taken her for a walk and told her mean things about me."


"I didn’t take her for a walk. She took me for a walk," I said.

 Contents part 3


"Why would she do a thing like that?" he asked coldly.


"I wondered about that too," I said and told him what transpired, and in the end, I added in a poisonous tone of voice: "So as you can see, she is not interested in you, because she is in love with somebody else," although I didn’t really believe her when she said that.


He frowned and said in a gruff tone of voice: "Oh, so she said something like that to you, did she now?"


I thought his gruffness sprang from his hurt that she was in love with somebody else and not from the fact that she had hurt me, and I answered in a stiff tone of voice: "Yes, she did."

 

A few days later, she came one early morning and asked TuTu to take her to the bus, because she was running late.


TuTu, his friend and I often rode on the motorbike together, and I said that I wanted to come along even if we would then be three on the motorbike.


"It only takes ten minutes," he said coldly.


After two hours, he came back.


"She is waiting for me in the Dane’s hut in Guindy," he said, "I just have to take care of something."


He put on newly ironed clothes and Kajal around his eyes, like many Indian men use it.


He came back to me.


"Does it look nice?" he asked.


"No," I said.


"Well, but I think that she will like it," he said and walked out of the door.


I had never seen him with make-up before and looked amazed at him when he walked out.

 

It seemed to be important to him that I was aware of what he was doing, because he could have done it all without me being aware.

 

My jealousy hammered like a pulse in my stomach, and I couldn’t relax anywhere, so I went with the family to the animal park to calm my restlessness.


His friend came later and asked for him and was told that TuTu and his sister had gone to Guindy together.


When they came back, TuTu told me that the young woman had offered him her virginity, but he did not want to take advantage of the situation, and so he had not touched her.


Fuming of revengefulness, I told this to his friend, knowing fully well that it would createmanifest problems for her because it was not considered proper conduct that a young Indian woman spend a full day alone with a married man, and a couple of days, later she was sent to some family in another city.

 

For my part, the crown of the drama came when his friend told me in anger because of the situation that TuTu had said to him ahead of my arrival that, in Reality, I was nothing for him because I was too old, but I had promised him some money, otherwise he would never have married me.


I had never promised TuTu money, on the contrary, but yet another time my deepest fears surfaced.


I confronted TuTu with it, and he went pale and seemed to become almost green in his face: "Did he say that to you?"


I took this to be a confirmation that indeed he had said something to that effect and felt totally crushed.

 

Only later, when I learned that he and his friend actually had a fistfight after I left, where he had received several blows from his friend and also had given his friend one single blow, but this one right on his nose, it occurred to me that he might have turned pale from anger because his friend had not spoken the truth, as TuTu normally did not defend himself when others attacked him.


Instead, he moved away from his attacker as fast as possible.


Besides, his friend was in love with me, and I believe that TuTu conveyed to his friend in this manner that he had poked his nose too far ahead by lying about TuTu to win me.

 

Later, he also told me that he had never reciprocated the young woman’s emotions at any point, but had played out a psychodrama.

 

She came back to Madras soon after I had left and had approached him in various ways, but he had kept their interaction at a friendly level.


However, I only became able to accept that this interaction took place at all when both my sexual jealousy and my possessiveness, little by little, let go of their oppressing grip on me, because thereby I reached a point where I thought that as long as I felt fully satisfied with his interaction with me I did not have to take a stand on whether his interactions with others robbed me of something, which I did not know what was, and thereby I let go of my desire to be in control of his interactions with other women and men.

 

 

HEALING OF MY DEEPLY FELT HEARTACHE

 

I looked like a withered little old woman when I came back to Copenhagen and began licking my wounds.

 

I only had a few hours of work every day, and the rest of the time I slept.


Again, I began visiting the preceptor to receive transmission.


With a superhuman effort, I tried to turn my thoughts towards the Master, but every day I caught myself being absorbed in thoughts about TuTu.


One day, an Indian preceptor came to Copenhagen and gave a group sitting to around twenty people.


Afterwards, he called me and said that he wanted to give me a special sitting.


I received it the following day.


Afterwards, he asked me if I was in some kind of a nightmarish condition.


Tears welled up in my eyes and I just bent my head and nodded.


He said that I had some wounds in my heart which he wanted to heal, but one sitting was not enough, so if it was possible for me to receive sittings twice a week for a period, it would help.


It was arranged, and after that my spiritual condition ascended to ecstatic heights for a long period of time, where I began singing self-composed songs in the bathtub in praise of the Master.

 

 Contents part 3

 

TIME TRACK TRAVELS

 

One day, I ran into my former boyfriend, and it proved that he was still in a state of despair.


He had become interested in a spiritual creed that had a bad reputation, because it pressurized the members to contribute with more and more money to participate in various courses, and I got worried about the spiritual seduction that I thought he had gotten into.


On his side, he thought that I was judgmental, because I had never investigated the group more closely, and so I decided to do that.


It proved that the creed had discovered how it was possible in a very simple way to move down your own time track, into previous incarnations, and thereby attain understanding for coherences in the present.


After a conversation with the group, they wanted to show me what they were able to do and offered me a free test of four sessions.


I moved into different previous incarnations on my own time track and was impressed by the process.


Afterwards, I discovered that a chronic bladder infection that I had had for sixteen years had disappeared as a result of the four sessions.


I decided to participate in some of the courses of the group even if I was opposed to paying for spiritual guidance, but already in the first course, I discovered that the group had taken the stand that they knew what evil is, and had set their goal to be erasing it, just like Kali.


That had permeated their World of ideas with enemy images, and since that was opposed to my spiritual goal, which I still did not know what was but which at least I had found out had something to do with love, I gave up the group.

 

 

KARMA DISSOLUTION

 

While my conversations with my former boyfriend were going on, little by little, an urgent feeling grew that I had to give him all the time he needed to be able to open his heart, if I wanted to see TuTu again.


I decided to stop thinking of TuTu and instead give my former boyfriend all the love and attention I was able to.

 

First of all, he wanted to marry me.


I felt that he was testing me to see if I was willing to let TuTu behind me.


I agreed, but said that first he had to move into my place so we could live together for a period of time to see how it went.


This meant that he had to change quite a lot in his lifestyle, and he suggested instead that we became lovers again, so that we did.

 

My attempts to forget TuTu were not very successful, and in the end, I became so desperate about the development of everything that I prayed to God, with tears flowing, to send me a clairvoyant person with great capacity so as to receive guidance in spoken words, which could tell me if I were on the right track.


The following day, a woman I hadn’t spoken with for half a year called me and told me that she had just met a healer who was clairvoyant, and who had the most amazing qualities.


I asked for his phone number, but she said that it was useless to try to get into contact with him if I needed an answer right now, because there was a waiting time for half a year to get to talk with him, and he did not pick up his phone but received messages on his answering machine.


I insisted, and she gave me his number.


I got through to him, introduced myself and said: "I don’t know what to do. I know this man around whom my thoughts are revolving all of the time, and then I met a clairvoyant woman, and…"


He interrupted: "Yes, and she said that you should stay away from him, and that is true too. You’re not good for each other presently.

 
There is a Soul connection between the two of you, but you have to know other men before the one it is going to be can come, and it is important that you concentrate about learning, what you have to learn from these men before he can come.


There will come a time where you’ll be faced with some problems, which you will find difficult to cope with, and at that time, you’re welcome to call me again.”


He continued by talking about my relationship with my sister, whom he could not have known anything about, and about my visit to the palm leaf archives in Madras, so when I hung up, I was full of confidence and threw myself into events yet another time with renewed strength.

 

My former boyfriend and I continued to be lovers for several years, but no matter how much loving attention I gave him, he kept complaining that I did not love him enough, and one day it became too much for me.


"Will you be so kind as to tell me what it is about your love that you find so much better that you find it justified to complain about mine?" I asked, "I’m willing to marry you and live the rest of my life with you, but you’re not."


He did not answer, but soon after this, he began losing interest in me, and eventually he said that he did not want to see me anymore.

 

Joy trickled through me from head to foot.


I could barely believe that it was over and I crept into myself, quiet as a mouse, while I was waiting for another telephone call where he said that he regretted his decision, but it did not come.


I visited him once to see how he was doing, and his reactions showed me that he had indeed lost interest in me.

 

 

RUKMINI AND SISHUPALA

 

Today, I believe that five thousand years ago, he was that prince from whom Krishna abducted Rukmini, and that time was ripe now to heal those wounds which he got on that occasion.


The prince had asked for Rukmini’s hand and got a promise of marriage.


This promise she broke just ahead of the wedding, when she fled with Krishna.


Thereby, the prince suffered a humiliating blow in front of the whole royal circle.


He pursued Krishna and Rukmini with an army, as was the proper behavior at that time for a prince whose bride was snatched away, but his enterprise failed in spite of him getting help from the armies of other princes, and that gave him another humiliating blow.


Besides, he had to give up marrying at the time he had decided to and he withered under the impression of his idea that all his misfortunes sprang from the fact that Rukmini had chosen somebody else.


After that, he closed his heart to anything else but the desire to win her back.

 

Just like the prince, my former boyfriend imagined that he would attain a satisfactory life if only I loved him in the right way, and he got every opportunity to achieve his wish.


I had lived together with him for five years before I met TuTu, but he had also complained that my love was not satisfactory for those five years.


I still remember my amazement when one day he said: "Yes, yes, I know that you’re waiting for someone, but couldn’t you try to be happy together with me until then?"


I wasn’t aware that I was waiting for someone, and I thought that I was just as satisfied with my life together with him as the other women involved in a coupleship that I knew, but in the end, we agreed to end our relationship one year before TuTu came into my life because of the lack of spiritual harmony.


When at last it struck him that his desire for a satisfactory love life could not be fulfilled by me no matter how much effort I put into it, he saw no other way than letting go of his desire, and for the first time, he became able to open up his heart to the possibility of meeting his own Eternal Beloved.

 

 Contents part 3

 

MY TASK

 

In 1982, I decided to visit the Master.

 
During the stay, that conversation took place which gave rise to me beginning the work with this manuscript.


At that time, the disciples did not visit the Master at his farm anymore, but were quartered in an ashram he got built outside the city.


The Master came out there to give group sittings, and sometimes, we were invited to visit him at the farm for a couple of hours.


The last day, I felt an unusual urge to go to the Master’s farm even if we were not invited, so I went there.


In the course of the day, I was enveloped by a transmission that lifted me to incredible heights, and we came closer to each other than ever before.


Late in the afternoon, he said: "You are writing a book?"


I knew his subtle way of suggesting a spiritual work and was filled with joy, because he suggested that I should write a book.

 

Suddenly, it struck me that maybe he spoke about my spiritual diary, so I said: "Yes, Master, my spiritual diary."


"No, no, not that," he said and leaned back.


We elapsed into silence for a long time, but then he said something, almost inaudible.


I leaned forward: "Excuse me?"


“I’m talking philosophy," he said, "write on your spiritual experience and every word will be philosophy. You can write the book for leisure. I also wrote my books for leisure.”


We elapsed back into silence.

 

The following year, I met him in Paris, but at that time his health was so poor that he spent most of his time in bed.


I had worked hard to finish this book, but thirty more years had to pass by before this work was completed.

 

 

THE MASTER’S DEATH

 

In 1984, an announcement came that the Master was seriously ill and hospitalized in a clinic in New Delhi.


I went to India again and stayed there for one week.


Most of the time, he was in a coma.


The first couple of days I was there, I wept a lot because of his state of being.

 

My last personal meeting with him took place the day I had to go back to Denmark.


One of the Master’s family members called me to his room.


A moment later, he disappeared together with the other family members, and the nurse asked me to look after the Master for a moment, while she was taking care of something else.


Thus, I suddenly found myself alone with the Master.

 

He came out of his coma and looked straight at me.


Gently, internally, I sang the song that I had composed for him long ago.


Telepathically, I told him how much it pained me to see him in this condition and asked for the purpose.


"It is to soften your stone heart," the telepathic answer sounded.


When I left his room, he lifted his hand in greeting.

 

He died two weeks later.


Honored be his memory.

 

 

THE RESPECT BETWEEN MAN AND WOMAN

 

The Crown Prince took his seat as the Master’s successor and came to Denmark in 1985.


In that context I met a male disciple, and in the course of my short relationship with him I learned that I had to maintain the balance in the coupleship, even if the relationship had ever so rich spiritual qualities.


I usually lost my balance to live up to spiritual ideals about being loving, giving, tolerant and understanding.


That could make me cross my own boundaries by not allowing myself to withdraw when I needed to be alone, or when I felt saturated by our being together and needed to be alone to digest events or had tasks to complete that had got nothing to do with him.


I could also take it upon myself to exceed his limits when he felt saturated by our being together and needed to withdraw to digest the impressions or had tasks that had got nothing to do with me.


I would try to keep myself and him in our being together with more or less dramatic scenarios, which I played out when both I or he needed to do something without the other.


Now, I learned that this type of behavior had the opposite effect of what I wanted, and then I began to respect both my own and my partner’s boundaries.

 

 

THE HELP OF THE CROWN PRINCE 2

 

I received a couple of letters from TuTu, who wrote that he would come to Denmark so we could clear up all misunderstandings, but at that time I was still afraid of the emotional pains which I felt together with him, so I said no.


In the course of the following years, my resistance ebbed out.


I decided that I would go to India one last time, and if my being together with the Crown Prince didn’t express itself in a grand spiritual revelation that would put everything in its right place, I would look up TuTu and surrender to my love for him, no matter where it took me.


The revelation failed to appear, and I looked up TuTu, but when I met him, I became so heavy from fear that I could barely walk, and scared, I fled to the Crown Prince.


He sat together with a group of disciples and answered questions, but I had nothing to ask, so I did not participate in the conversation.


Suddenly, he turned around, looked straight at me and said: "What is the princess without the prince other than a frustrated female?"


I looked up TuTu again.

 

 Contents part 3

 

THE ANGELIC WEDDING

 

He received me lovingly and suggested that we married one more time.


This time in a Krishna temple in Madras.


I was dressed in a white cotton dress with an embroidery of flowers on the chest, he in a white Indian kurta and white Indian pajama.


The Pujari, the high priest of the temple sang the mantras, and we exchanged flower garlands.


TuTu said that this was a wedding between our hearts, an angelic wedding, and it could not be broken with a divorce like our Danish wedding.


After the wedding, we went to see the Crown Prince, who blessed the event.


Afterwards, he said to TuTu that it was good that at last somebody had been able to put the chain of marriage around my ankle, and they both laughed.

 

When we came back to Roseland, which was the name of our hotel, TuTu had sprinkled rose leaves all over our bed.


He began kissing me.

 

"This is the night of a thousand kisses," he said, "because tonight I will kiss you a thousand times."


I slipped into his arms, and in this way, our angelic wedding came to can end.

 

THE DIVINE WEDDING

 

I returned to Denmark alone, because first TuTu had to get his visa first, but in 1989 I went to the airport with a swelling heart to pick him up yet another time.

 

 

TUTU’S ILLNESS 2

 

He had decided to use his arrival to Denmark as an opportunity to attempt to do without his self-medication, and he succeeded.


He wanted to find a job but there was great unemployment, and the only types of available jobs were cleaning and delivering newspapers.


He decided to become a newspaper boy.


Later, we bought a truck and he became carrier for the same company and also got some cleaning jobs at offices, libraries and kindergartens, but due to his driving, he contracted sciatica, and his doctor said that he had to take painkillers or stop working altogether, because otherwise the sciatica nerve would get so irritated that he could come to permanent harm.


His stomach could not tolerate the available over-the-counter painkillers, and when the doctor did not want to give him the required medication, he chose yet another time to medicate himself.


I was shaken when I discovered that, because I feared the consequences of chemical dependency more than anything else.

 

 

IGNORANCE

 

I had read a lot about chemical dependency since he began his self-medication in India and had got the impression that you could force a person to stop being chemically dependent if only you put enough pressure.

 

I told him that he would lose me for good if he did not stop taking painkillers immediately.

 

It did not help any.

 

With a bleeding heart, I increased the pressure by asking him to move out of our home.

 

He moved out.

 

I remembered my clairvoyant guide who had said that, at some point in time, I would face some problems, which I would find it hard to cope with, and then I could call him again.

 

I called him.

 

He said that the way I had handled the problem wasn’t the right way, because it was essential that TuTu and I were together for the upcoming events.

 

I was relieved to be able to exclude what I had read about handling chemically dependent people, and asked TuTu to move back home again, and that he did.

 

  

PREPARATION FOR THE FULFILLMENT OF A PROHIBITED DESIRE

 

At one point in time, TuTu was to lead a project of alternative energy, and the institute sent him to India in that context.

 

I went with him, and when we came back I decided to apply for permission of leave from my job, so as to be able to help him with his project.

 

When my permission of leave began, I decided that I wanted to try out heroin to find out what the drug did to those who took it.

 

I had desired to try it since the middle of my twenties but had refrained from it, because I had read that you risked dying from it.

 

Now, however, I had been with TuTu when he bought heroin in the black market, and there we gradually got to know many creativemanifestative and intelligent people, and that had broken down the image of addicts and addiction that I had formed from my reading.

 

Sometimes, we stayed a couple of hours with some of these people, and I got the opportunity to see both men and women smoke heroin.

 

To my amazement, I discovered that they sank away when they had smoked a certain amount like people who went into deep meditation, and when I got around trying it myself, I came to perceive it to be medicated meditation.

 

It was mostly men who smoked, and I admired the women who had the courage to take the drug in spite of the attitude of the society.

 

I asked them what to do if in case you got addicted.

 

They said that it took some time to get addicted, and afterwards, it took four or five days to get through the withdrawals, which felt like a flu.

 

That gave me courage, because I thought that I was stable enough to be able to clear four or five days of discomfort if worse came to worst, and if only I had tried the drug, I would also be able to understand better what was going on with TuTu.

 

 

THE FULFILLMENT OF A PROHIBITED DESIRE

 

I told him that I wanted to smoke some of his heroin, and he explained to me how to do it.

 

When I had smoked a bit, he said that I should not smoke anymore because I would get nauseous otherwise.

 

"Am I high now?" I asked surprised.

 

"Yes", he said.

 

“No, it can’t be true. I have read about the rush, which is supposed to be so fantastic. Why, I barely feel any difference,” I said.

 

"Yes, but it is nothing but what you experience now," he said.

 

"You apparently have to be hooked to know what this drug really is, because I can’t imagine that addicts are willing to tolerate all the hardships they are exposed to, just to experience this," I said.

 

He did not answer.

 

I decided to become hooked, and the following time-period I smoked daily.

 

When I postponed my timing of smoking and experienced various feelings of discomfort, I asked: "Am I hooked now?"

 

"No, not really," he said.

 

The day came where there was a lack of heroin in the black market, and then withdrawal symptoms hit me for the first time.

 

The discomfort took me by surprise.

 

It was true that it felt like a kind of flu, with diarrhea, cold-sweat and running nose, but with the difference that I became cold to the marrow of my bones and could not get back my body heat, and the soreness in my body was not something that I could sleep from like when I had flu.

 

Every second, I was aware that my body was paining and was deadly cold, while at the same time, I sweated profusely.

 

"Did you know this?" I asked, shocked by my body-sensations.

 

"Yes," he said, "this is withdrawal symptoms."

 

I had had my wish fulfilled.

 

I was hooked.

 

 Contents part 3

 

WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS

 

I decided that this was the end of my career as an addict, but when I had gone through a day and a half of withdrawal symptoms, I became willing to disregard my decision so as to bring an end to my discomfort.

 

We managed to get hold of some heroin and the relief was great when I felt the heroin rush through my entire system.

 

The soreness disappeared, and my body-heat returned.

 

The contrast between the discomfort of withdrawal symptoms and the comfort of bringing it to an end was the biggest emotional contrast I had yet experienced, and I got hooked on the contrast.

 

This meant that I was ready for the needle.

 

With the needle, the contrast became even clearer from the taking in of the drug till the dissolution of the discomfort.

 

I got hooked on the needle.

 

I can say for sure that the discomfort of withdrawal symptoms is the most intense discomfort I have experienced in my life.

 

At one point in time, it proved that I had a tumor in my spine, which had broken through my spine to my lung-cave, where it continued its growth.

 

First, I was operated on in my spine, and I went through various forms of fear ahead of the operation, mostly by thinking that I might get paralyzed in my arms or legs or suffer brain damage, because some nerve fibers would be damaged during surgery.

 

Six weeks later, that part which was in the lung-cave was operated on, and I was in a coma for some days, because my lungs collapsed during surgery.

 

When I came around, I found myself in a ventilator and felt an intense discomfort by not being able to breathe the way I used to, but the discomfort of these experiences were not as intense as the discomfort of my withdrawal symptoms from heroin, because I was unconscious part of the time and got abundantly supplied with morphine when I was conscious.

 

Thereby, I realized that I did not know what I was doing when I claimed that TuTu did not love me or his family if he wasn't willing to live through withdrawal symptoms to prove the opposite.

 

 

CAST OUT OF SOCIETY

 

I looked for a solution, where I could take heroin without getting too many withdrawal problems and I got the idea that I would sell heroin enough to cover our own use.

 

I told this to TuTu, but he said that it was better to buy what we needed every day, because it might be difficult to not increase usage if we had too much of it.

 

I did not think that we could afford to pay the prices at street level, so I decided to do it even if it was illegal.

 

At one point in time, the police spotted us.

 

Dramatically, they burst their way into our apartment by kicking in the door.

 

I was arrested and accused of possession of ten grams of heroin.

 

In the following time-phase, the police kicked the door in to our apartment at all hours, and soon our life was so chaotic that everything began to go downhill.

 

We became unable to take care of our business, our creditors picked up our cars, the summerhouse went for foreclosure, and we hit bottom materially.

 

To crown the work, the police had gradually put together an indictment, and I was convicted to 40 days in prison for possession of heroin, which meant that now I had a criminal record, and thereby, I was cut off from returning to my job and had thus been cast out of society.

 

 

TUTU’S TEARS

 

The following time phase brought forth those three times that TuTu wept over my destiny.

 

The first time, he wept because I put more emphasis on material security than on love.

 

The second time, he wept when I asked him to shoot the heroin in my right hand, where I had my best vein.

 

He took my hand, looked at my prick marks, and with tears in his eyes, he gently stroked it, while he said: "Your little hand. Your little hand."

 

I looked surprised at the tears that rolled down his cheeks.

 

Why did he take that so hard?

 

Why, he used the needle himself.

 

Last time, he wept when I prostituted for the first time to get means for heroin.

 

I looked at him in wonder.

 

Why did he cry over that?

 

After all, it was an excellent solution to our problems, and anyway, I had the intention to share with him.

 

In that way, none of us had to have withdrawal symptoms, so instead he ought to be grateful that I was willing to sacrifice in that way to get hold of the required money.

 

However, I had not foreseen the discomfort that was involved in having sex under the impression of beginning withdrawal symptoms with men for whom I, at the maximum, felt pity.

 

 

SEXUAL FREEDOM

 

After TuTu’s death, I prostituted for the last time.

 

I thought that it would be good for my body to have its sexual need fulfilled, and it would also be excellent to supplement my income with some extra money.

 

Now that I was no longer having withdrawals, it should be a piece of cake.

 

I went through with my decision, and then I realized that at long last I was finished with prostitution.

 

I wanted the freedom to respect and follow the swing of my own sexual feelings during lovemaking, and that wasn’t possible in connection with prostitution, because the man paid for me to respect and follow his sexual feelings and put aside my own if they weren’t in harmony with his, and that I did not want to do anymore.

 

 

INITIATION TO SHIVA

 

Once, when we were in withdrawals and therefore extremely sensitive, TuTu and I walked up and down the streets of our neighborhood, hoping to meet somebody we knew, who could help us bring us out of our withdrawals.

 

TuTu began speaking about the defense mechanisms of humankind.

 

I don’t remember what he said, but it made me look around with new eyes, and I sensed the Spirit behind the crisp physical surface of the people who walked in the street.

 

"Oh," I said, "life on Earth is a miracle. Just think, then all these Spirits walk around in the streets in a physical body, which allows them to experience life on Earth."

 

"Yes," TuTu said, "we are all mighty warriors in the dark."

 

"This night, I dreamed about my mother," he continued, "she was a little girl at the bottom of the ocean, innocent in her becoming, and she said – Oh, here I am. Oh, look there… and there… and she played with the seashells and hid for fun’s sake inside the conches."

 

When he uttered his mother’s sentences, his voice was delicate and full of a small girl's innocent wonder.

 

"How strange," I said, "we have all hidden behind shells."

 

"Yes," he said.

 

I continued, "We have forgotten who we are, because we have hidden behind shell after shell gradually as we built up our defenses."

 

"Yes," he said, "let’s go home."

 

We went home, and he stood in front of a poster of Shiva, who danced with flowing hair in a ring of the fire of the sun on top of a little green dwarf.

 

"This dwarf is a symbol of the ignorance," he said, "Shiva is dancing his cosmic dance on top of ignorance, and slowly breaks it down, while he beats his drum: BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM…”

 

His rhythmical repetition of the drum-sound, which I later recognized as the shamanic drum, penetrated my consciousness and scared me.

 

He continued, "He beats his drum, and we walk in time with his drumbeat, whether we want to or not. Some dance joyfully along on the drum-sound in the fire of enlightenment like Shiva himself, others oppose it and cry and scream, but everybody move forward."

 

"Stop it," I said, "I get scared."

 

He laughed: "Are you scared of your ignorance?"

 

"Yes," I said, "I would rather be very clever."

 

He stopped, and we went into the living room and sat down.

 

 Contents part 3

 

THE MOMENT OF REALIZATION

 

The drum-sound still sat as a sensation in my body, and before I knew what I intended to say, it broke through all dams: "Now, at long last, I know who you are. You are the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. I have thought this so many times before, when I asked myself who you actually are, but only now I know it, because now I also know that I’m the second coming of Mary Magdalene."

 

He smiled gently.

 

"I’ll call up and tell my sister what I have discovered," I said agitated.

 

He nodded.

 

I rang her and told her.

 

"No," she said, "now you must really pardon me. I think that you can have that perception of him exclusively because you’re so much in love."

 

"Can’t you see it?" I said, "he is an outcast and persecuted like Jesus was, and I am cast out, persecuted and prostituted like Mary Magdalene was."

 

"Why, but that all addicts and addict-prostitutes are," she said, "are they all the Second Coming of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene?"

 

I got confused.

 

I hadn’t thought of that.

 

She was probably right that I found so many qualities in him because I was so much in love.

 

 

PREPARATION FOR THE SPIRITUAL REBIRTH

 

At one point in time, I decided that I could not handle my lifestyle anymore and sought help in the public system.

 

I was offered Methadone, but all in the drug environment warned me against the artificial opiate and said that I did not know what I was doing if I accepted the offer, because Methadone withdrawals took around six weeks as compared to the four-five days of heroin, and hardly anybody managed to get out of Methadone.

 

TuTu said that Methadone was illegal in India because it dried out the marrow of the bones and destroyed the fertility as opposed to heroin, which is a natural opiate that does not any organ damage.

 

Long-term use of Methadone dried out the marrow of the bones to such an extent that the bones broke as easily as matchsticks.

 

I hesitated, but then decided to try it anyway because it was legal, and it might bring about the required calm in my life so I could make my attempt to become clean.

 

After having got calmness into my life this way, I went to my sister’s house and tried to become clean.

 

My body became so sore from the withdrawals that I could not lie on a bed, so she filled an air mattress halfway with air, and there it was possible for me to lie.

 

She put warm water in plastic-bags and put them all over me so I wouldn’t shake so much from the cold in my bones, but it only helped a little.

 

I did not manage to resist the pressure from the withdrawals, so I decided that I would take heroin for the next six weeks, until the Methadone withdrawals were over and then try to take the four-five days of heroin withdrawals, but when I began cutting down the heroin, it slowly penetrated to me that it wasn’t within my reach to become clean.

 

I got scared.

 

TuTu said not to worry, because I would succeed in getting out of it in the end.

 

I didn’t believe him.

 

I got more and more panic-stricken and began getting anxiety attacks.

 

In the end, I decided to go to my sister again and try to become clean by taking on a ‘cold turkey’.

 

An acquaintance suggested that I got a chain around my leg so that I did not feel tempted to run out of the house to get hold of some heroin when my sister was at work and the withdrawals became too bad.

 

I agreed, tied a long chain around my leg, locked it and gave my sister the key before she left.

 

When I was going to the toilet, the chain rattled loudly in the silence because I had to drag it behind me across the floor.

 

The sound cut in me to the marrow of my bones.

 

In the end, I found out that this was not the solution and stopped chaining myself.

 

 

COSMIC TWINS

 

Gradually as I got to feel better, I got restless, and my sister’s husband went for a walk with me.

 

Outside the houses in Albertslund, there are some big lawns, and we kept walking around  the one outside their house, while I talked and talked about my confusion and my feelings for TuTu.

 

In my oversensitive condition, my consciousness suddenly opened, and I stopped and looked at him with big eyes.

 

“Now I know who TuTu also is," I exclaimed, "his name has these two Ts, because he is my true teacher and my time twin.”

 

He looked at me without understanding.

 

We returned to the house, and I tumbled on with my thoughts, which I could neither make head nor tail of.

 

The phone rang.

 

It was TuTu.

 

"How are you?" he asked gently.

 

"Now, I finally know who you also are", I said eagerly, "you’re my time twin and my true teacher because your name has these two T’s."

 

"I’m glad that you have discovered it," he said gently.

 

"What is a time twin?" I asked.

 

He did not answer.

 

"You are my cosmic twin. We were born together, when the Universe came into being," I exclaimed without knowing where that came from.

 

 

HE LOVES ME - HE LOVES ME NOT?

 

I threw a quick glance around to see if anybody could hear me, and then I said: "I don’t feel so good. I’m terribly restless. I want some heroin. If you love me, you come to Albertslund station in one hour, bring me some heroin and bring needle, citric acid and a spoon along."

 

"Do you think that is a good idea?" he asked, "weren’t you going to be there to become clean?"

 

"You only say that because you can’t be bothered and because you would rather take it yourself", I said.

 

"Ok, I’ll come, but I first have to go and get hold of something, so let’s say in two hours," he said.

 

When I hung up, I thought that now it would show if he really loved me, for only an addict who has too little drugs to cover his own needs - like TuTu - will know what I asked from him.

 

Two hours later, I found an excuse to leave my sister’s supervision and went to the station.

 

He was there.

 

"He really loves me," I thought in wonder.

 

We went into a staircase.

 

He made my fix, and when the warmth from it spread in my body, I felt perfectly satisfied.

 

We went for a walk, hand in hand, but after fifteen minutes, he said that he had to go back to town.

 

I nodded.

 

He was busy now if he should cover his own needs.

 

I returned to my sister’s house.

 

 Contents part 3

 

THE FELLOWSHIPS ANONYMOUS

 

When I felt better, I went home to visit TuTu and discovered that he had started selling out of the furniture to get hold of money for heroin.

 

I could not hold it against him, but wanted to make sure that the apartment wasn’t emptied of furniture and anything else of value when I returned clean, so I asked him to move out, and I also said that our marriage was over because I had been told that I should not hope to stay clean if I lived together with somebody who still took drugs.

                                 

Then I went to my sister’s house again.

 

One of her friends had told her that I needed help from somebody who had gone through the same as me.

 

She had heard of something called Narcotics Anonymous, where clean addicts help newcomers to become and stay clean, and thereby I landed in the first of The Fellowships Anonymous that I was to participate in.

 

At my first meeting, I could not believe my own eyes and ears.

 

Twenty clean addicts sat around a table and told about their problems with chemical addiction, and when I saw them, I knew that it was possible to stay clean.

 

Tears of gratitude streamed down my cheeks, because now I knew that I did not have to die as an addict.

 

When the other addicts told about their experiences with being clean, they spoke about all what I had longed for.

 

They spoke about their personal connection with their true Self; about the new freedom they had found, unbound by religious systems, but above all, they spoke about love and mercy to themselves and others.

 

My tears of gratitude flowed in a continuous stream and ascended to sobbing when in the end they got up, took each other’s hands, formed a big circle and prayed:

 

God,

Grant us the serenity

to accept the things we cannot change

courage to change the things we can

and the wisdom to know the difference.

 

I was told that I had to change to be able to remain clean, and therefore it was a good idea to do the Fellowship’s Twelve Steps, which would take me forward to a spiritual awakening.

 

If I wanted to, I could ask one of the other women who already had done these Steps if she would be my sponsor.

 

A sponsor in this Fellowship is a clean addict who takes another clean addict through The Twelve Steps.

 

I got a sponsor and began my step-work.

 

 

THE DIVINE WEDDING

 

When I had been in the Fellowship for four months, I spotted my nicotine addiction and decided that I wanted to get out of all my chemical addictions, so I also entered the Fellowship called Nicotine Anonymous.

 

This Fellowship was very small, and therefore I got a male sponsor.

 

He proved to be a Christian and suggested that I began my step-work with a prayer inviting Jesus into my heart.

 

Then, I should go into deep meditation, and then Jesus might be merciful to me and show himself to me in a vision.

 

That sounded exciting, I thought.

 

If I could get a vision of the real Jesus, then at long last, I would get rid of my perception of TuTu as the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, because I had not been able to shake that idea off of me in spite of the fact that obviously it was absurd.

 

I had not meditated systematically since TuTu came to Denmark and decided to take up this habit again, so I began making a place for myself with a comfortable chair exclusively for that purpose, like I had it when the Master was my spiritual guide.

 

I put five candles on the table next to the chair with two short thick blue candles on each side of a tall, white slim candle.

 

Then, I cleaned the room and went out into the bathroom to shower.

 

I spotted my long wavy henna-dyed hair and my dark-dyed eyebrows and lashes in the mirror.

 

"Is this how you’re going to introduce yourself to Jesus?" I asked myself, "look at all the false colors you carry."

 

I took a scissors and cut the hair off, but I dyed it with henna recently, so the dye was all the way to the roots.

 

I went down to the hairdresser and said that I wanted to become bald.

 

"Bald?" she said in disbelief.

 

"Yes," I said, "and I also want the eyebrows and the eyelashes shaved off.

 

"No, there I draw the line", she said, "the eyebrows let go, but the eyelashes, there goes the limit."

 

I hadn’t given it a thought that I needed my lashes to clean my eyeballs if I got dust in my eyes, and I agreed with her that there went the limit.

 

When I looked at my naked eye brows and my bald head in the mirror during my shower, I began crying of sorrow about my looks.

 

I finished my shower, and at last, I was ready to sit down in my meditation chair.

 

When I sat there, I felt that now I had done what was in my power to get a successful experience and I began praying:

 

Jesus, I want to surrender to you as your bride. Come to me!

 

I ask you to come into my heart to take your place on my life’s throne as the king of my heart.

 

I also ask you to show yourself to me so that I don’t have to be so confused anymore.

 

I sank into deep meditation, and I don’t know how much time passed before TuTu appeared before my inner eye, but then I knew that Jesus had showed himself to me like I had prayed for.

 

When I opened my eyes and came back into my day-consciousness, I thought: "It can’t be true. What a pity that my feelings for TuTu have confused me so much that I have lost out on this chance of changing direction in my life in spite of all of my efforts."

 

I called my sponsor and said that I had done what he suggested, and I had also got a vision, but I did not think the vision was genuine, so therefore I wanted to hear his opinion about the situation.

 

I told him about the course of events and asked if he thought that it was possible that somebody other than Jesus could show up in a vision under those circumstances.

 

"No", he said, "I think, it is Jesus you have seen, whether you think so yourself or not."

 

"You are not just my sponsor anymore", I said spontaneously, "Hereafter I’ll call you John, the apostle of love."

 

When I hung up, I thought of the fact that I had not told him that it was my husband I had seen in the vision, and it might be that it would have made my sponsor change his mind about it, but if he was right, then why wasn’t the groom by my side?

 

I had not spoken with TuTu for several months.

 

It was a strange wedding with a bride and no groom.

 

I decided that I would believe the vision to be genuine if the groom came.

 

It was early in the evening, and I went off to a meeting in one of The Fellowships Anonymous to talk about my experience and thereby try to attain clarity as to what had happened.

 

The telephone rang the next morning.

 

It was TuTu.

 

Without beating about the bush he asked: "Shall I come?"

 

"If you shall come? I can’t wait. When are you coming?"

 

"I’m coming immediately," he said.

 

"I will come down to the bus to pick you up. Which bus will you take?" I asked.

 

"Bus 16," he said, and we hung up.

 

"Sum of digits = seven, sacred number," I thought about the number of the bus.

 

I looked at the blue candles.

 

The color of Krishna.

 

Two on one side and two on the other side of the white candle.

 

TuTu was written on my altar.

 

I looked into the mirror.

 

Oh no, I was bald.

 

The doorbell rang.

 

Outside the door stood my nephew and his best friend.

 

They were drunk both of them and had a ghetto blaster with them.

 

"Oh", I thought, “now come the wedding guests with the wedding-music.”

 

I jumped into a new orange jump suit that my sister had given me recently, and we went as one troop down to the bus, I in the middle, my nephew and his friend loud and happy on each side of me with the music from the ghetto blaster thundering out of the loudspeakers.

 

"What a sight people get," my nephew said, "here goes two drunk Danes with a ghetto blaster in their hand, beers in their pockets and a Hare Krishna in the middle."

 

I looked down myself.

 

Yes, indeed. I was a Hare Krishna with my bald head and my orange clothes.

 

When TuTu got down from the bus, I was anxious to see his reaction to my looks, but not a twitch or a gleam in his eyes revealed any surprise.

 

"Welcome Krishna," I said and slid into his arms.

 

I told him my experience, and he suggested the wedding dinner, which we ordered from a nearby ‘out of the house’ food-place, and while it was prepared, we stood outside in the sun and waited.

 

TuTu lifted his one foot and pointed to his ankle: "Can you see the chain there?"

 

"No", I said.

 

"There is a chain there even if it is invisible. It is the chain of love which you have tied around my ankle."

 

"I don’t want that," I answered, "I want you to be free and without chains."

 

"I love my chain," he said.

 

"I get scared of my spiritual experiences because they fade away again," I said.

 

"Hold on to me under all circumstances, then you don’t have to be afraid of anything," he said.

 

We took the food home, and when we had finished eating, I said to TuTu that I wanted to talk to him alone and took him with me into my meditation-room.

 

I flung out my hand and made a sliding movement along the lines of the first two blue candles, then the other two and eventually up the middle, where the white candle was, while at the same time I solemnly said: "Welcome TuTu, my one and only."

 

Then I pointed to the sandalwood oil and a small dish of sweets, which sat in front of the candles and said: "On this altar I have put candles to show you the Light of my Love and also something sensuous and something sweet, because that is what I want to be to you."

 

I put a little sandalwood oil on him and a sweet in his mouth.

 

Then, I took the glass with sweets and gave sweets to my nephew and his friend.

 

"Now, we are going to make love," TuTu said, and with this our Divine wedding came to an end.

 

 Contents part 3

 

THE SPIRITUAL WEDDING

 

 

FEAR OF THE CONSEQUENCE OF LOVE

 

After we made love, I said that I would like him to move back home.


He said yes, and at that moment I got scared.


So often, I had some spiritual experiences together with TuTu that led me into a state of ecstasy, just like now, but all of which turned out to fade again a little later.


Just think, if I relapsed into heroin from living together with him.


"I’m just not ready to move back home yet," he gently said.


"All right," I said relieved.


"I have to go back to Sundholm," he said.


I nodded.


It was a full time job to maintain good connections with pushers and get hold of the required money to avoid withdrawals

 

 

RELAPSE

 

I began visiting him at Sundholm, which is a hostel for addicts, alcoholics and other homeless people, and I discovered that he had started drinking alcohol on a daily basis.


He told me that some of the other residents had not been able to bear seeing his withdrawals, so they had brought alcohol to him on a number of occasions, and thereby he had discovered that if only he became intoxicated enough, it took away the withdrawals, and because it was a legal drug it was within his reach to pay for it.


He had also given in to legislation and therefore applied for Methadone.


Now, he was waiting to have it granted, and if he managed to get it, he would stop his intake of alcohol.


It took a long time before he was granted his Methadone, and at that time, it proved to be impossible for him to wring his body out of the grip of alcohol, and with this, he was chemically dependent on both alcohol and Methadone.


Soon, most of my life took place in Sundholm, and when he was granted his Methadone, I got a desire to experience the needle again, so I persuaded him to give me a little of his medicine.

 

 

THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL

 

One day, when we spoke about the place, TuTu said: "Sundholm is healthier than the rest of society," and that was in sharp conflict with my perception, because here deaths occurred among the residents every month, even if they were only in their thirties or forties.


When I returned to Narcotics Anonymous after my relapse, I discovered that The Fellowships Anonymous held a disproportionate big percentage of artists, musicians and spiritual capacities as compared to the rest of society.


The spiritual awakening, which both I and the others achieved by the help of the Twelve Steps in Narcotics Anonymous, made me perceive our previous condition as drug users as that spiritual phenomenon, which is called The Dark Night of the Soul.

 

The concept of The Dark Night of the Soul holds that condition where a person goes through those experiences that he/she fears most of all, while at the same time, he/she feels abandoned by God and humans alike, and this condition comes immediately ahead of a spiritual rebirth.


That made me realize that the residents of Sundholm had their spiritual rebirth coming up very soon, if not in this life, then in the next one.


This progressed spiritual condition was not equally applicable to the rest of society, so I had to agree with TuTu that Sundholm was healthier than the rest of society seen from a spiritual perspective.

 

 

THE TWICE BORN

 

As a result of my spiritual rebirth, I came to perceive myself and the other twelve steppers to be twice born.


At one point in time
, I realized that there were many ways of getting through the rebirth.


I realized this when I went for physiotherapy treatment.


The physiotherapist was chatting away about life and her small talk resonated in me.


"You sound like a twice born," I said, "is that so?"


"Yes," she said.


"Are you a clean addict?"

 

"No."


"Then how did it happen?"


“I was exposed to a car crash," she said, "both I and the car were completely smashed, and I was unconscious for a long time.

 

When I came around, I could neither stand nor walk and had to rebuild myself from square one.


During the rehabilitation, I had to reconsider everything that I had felt and thought until then, and I changed viewpoints on practically everything.


I felt very lonely because neither my family nor the staff at the hospital understood what was happening to me, and when I had recovered fully, I got divorced.”


"It must have been tough" I said, "I have the support from the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous where a lot of people go through the same process."


"Yes, it was tough," she said, "but I would not have missed it for anything."


"I can understand that very well," I said, "I feel the same way."

 

 

THE TRUE DISCIPLES OF JESUS

 

One day, in my second phase of using drugs, when  TuTu and I, were in the red light district of Copenhagen to buy heroin, my consciousness opened.


I looked around and said: "Those people coming here are
the true disciples of Jesus."


TuTu did not say anything, but looked tenderly at me.


When I came back home, I called my sister and told her my discovery.


"No, now you must stop it," she said.


“Yes, but they are," I said, "can’t you see it?

 

Who was Jesus together with back then?

 

The outcasts and the persecuted, and that is exactly what the people in the red light district and in Sundholm are, and if Jesus lived today that is exactly where he would move around.


Just think that I had to land in the gutter to find that out."


"And TuTu is of course supposed to be The Second Coming of Jesus Christ who runs around as an addict and alcoholic in the red light district and in Sundholm," she said.

 

"Yes," I said hurriedly.


"If now he has come to save them, then why is he an addict and an alcoholic himself?"

 

I said:

 

“Should he be above them or should he share their circumstances?


He has been everywhere where people suffer, as one of them.


He has been in prison in the East and in the West.

 

He has been in hostels for the homeless and has slept among the poor in the street.


But he has also been in churches, mosques and temples among those who suffer.


I have also seen him among the suffering in the business world and among old money and new money.


Everywhere, he has been like one of those he moved among."


"Do we all have to become addicts or alcoholics to become spiritual now?" my sister asked.


"No, no," I said, "not in that way. I don’t know how others are going to go through The Dark Night of the Soul, but my worst fears had to do with chemical addiction, so it has apparently been my destiny to do it in that way.

 

Can’t you see what it means that there are so many chemically dependent all over the world today?"


"No." she answered.


"It means that many presently go through The Dark Night of the Soul," I said.


"And what of it?" she said.


"Yes, then time is ripe for the many, and that means that it is spiritual dawn for the World, because the sleeping Spirits are about to wake up."


"Is it now supposed to be a blessing all of a sudden to be an addict or an alcoholic?" she asked.

 

"No, no," I said, "it is exactly that which I feared most of all, and I don’t know what kind of fears others have, which they have to go through in a way where they feel abandoned by God and man, but addiction was my path, as I can gather."


"No, thank you," she said, "that is not for me."


"No," I said, "not for me either, but I have discovered that I’m able to live, also under those circumstances that I have feared most of all, and that has made my fear disappear."

 

 Contents part 3

 

BACK TO THE FELLOWSHIPS ANONYMOUS

 

TuTu and I were lucky to find a good pusher with stable delivery, fair prices and a good quality of heroin.


He moved back home and our life became stable.


We both worked in the workshops in Sundholm for eight hours every day, he as a sculptor and I as an editorial secretary in the local newspaper of Sundholm.


We were both social clients, and this income covered the daily necessities, and in Sundholm we made just enough of money to avoid withdrawals.


Then the police caught our pusher, and I decided to return to Narcotics Anonymous.


This time
, I was not as panic-stricken as last time, so I continued to work in Sundholm, even if I was surrounded by drug users, and TuTu and I also continued to live together, even if he continued his drug use, while I went through my 12 step Program.

 

 

VANITY - PERISHABILITY

 

At one point in time, I started working with this book and stopped going to Sundholm.


One day
, I met one of the Master’s old disciples, who was writing a book on his spiritual experiences.


He had problems translating it into English, and I offered to help.


The cooperation lasted for three weeks, and I became irritated because he did not take on the responsibility of being the center of his own Universe, and I decided to write myself out of my emotions.

 

The result was 'The Fairytale of the Master of the Universe', in which I later added a description of the work with the pain of the thinking mind, the ego.


I was very proud of the result and read it aloud to TuTu.


"I’m the pen, and you’re the ink," he said.


I became furious and asked if he wanted to take the credit for my work.


He did not answer.


In the following time-phase, I slowly began to realize that everything I had written in this fairy tale was something I had learned from TuTu, but I thought that the pen was better than the ink because it was the pen that wrote while the ink had to put up with being written with, until it penetrated to me that the pen is useless without the ink and the ink is useless without the pen, and this realization released an urge to express my love for TuTu, and thereby 'The Fairytale of Love without Limits' came into being.


I read it aloud to him, and he nodded satisfied.

 

 

SHIVA, THE DESTROYER

 

A couple of months later, he came home one day and asked: "Who am I?"


I looked at him with uncertainty and asked: "What do you mean?"


He pointed to a circular emblem he had put on the label of his jacket.


It portrayed Shiva.


I did not know what to say, but the following days I returned to this thought several times and began looking at the D
estroyer through the love I felt for TuTu.


Some days later, I was working with this book when suddenly
, I felt deeply inspired and began writing 'The Fairytale about Good and Evil'.


TuTu sat on the couch in the adjacent room and I don’t know how it happened, but the music that streamed out of the radio suited my state of mind, and at that moment
, where I described the emerging of the Destroyer out of The Ocean of Love, the music ascended to a fantastic crescendo and tears streamed down my cheeks.


"I’m writing something which is totally incredible," I said to TuTu.

 

He came into the room.


"Look," I said, "I describe Shiva."


He bent over the computer and read.


"It is very beautiful,” he gently said.


I startled from joy because of his appreciation.


He went back into the adjacent room, and eagerly I continued to write, satisfied with the fact that I had now described the destroyer Shiva, who is space and his wife Kali, who is time in “The fairy tale about good and evil” and the CreatorManifestoress BrahmaShakti in “The fairy tale of love without limits” as I saw the two Hinduistic archetypes after having been taught by TuTu, and also the female Buddha, the Rainbow Goddess, in “The fairy tale of the Master of the Universe”, as I saw her through the eyes TuTu taught me to see with.


Only after TuTu’s death it occurred to me that I still needed to describe the last of the Hinduistic trinity, Vishnu the Maintainer, and then 'The Fairytale of the Gods who walk on the Earth', came into being.


This fairy tale describes an inner conversation with TuTu
, which took place after his death while I wrote.

 

 

THE COMING INTO BEING OF THE TUTU DOCTRINE

 

I stopped resisting my perception of him as The Second Coming of Jesus Christ, and one day, I said that it was a pity that there was nothing in the Bible written by himself, so now that the chance was there, I would like to have his permission to put in his Four Guidelines into this manuscript.

 

He nodded.


He had taught me about the Four
Guidelines since the time we met in Madras in 1977.


Over the years, I had continuously returned to them, and every time they sank deeper into my consciousness.


With an interval of years, I told him how far I had come with my realization of the contents of the Four
Guidelines, and sometimes he just listened and nodded, and at other times he came up with various comments.


Gradually, it became my perception that the Four
Guidelines are the peak of all that can be said in the spiritual field, and that everything worth knowing exists in seed-form in one page that comes after the fairy tales in part four of this book under the heading ‘The Seed of Love’.

 

During the meal of the feast after The Spiritual Wedding, I wanted to explain the Four Guidelines to one of the guests, and then I realized that I was not able to express myself clearly enough to make myself understood by anybody but TuTu, and I decided to write down my understanding to reach an expression which was clear to others too.


Thereby The Doctrine itself, which consists of The Seed of Love, The Fertilized Egg and The Fruit, came into being.

 

 Contents part 3

 

TUTU’S ILLNESS 3

 

During the last half year of TuTu’s life, he and I did not live together.


He lived two streets away from me together with another alcoholic, because his illness had now progressed to such an extent that it was too hard on me to be together with him when he was very drunk.


We had an agreement that he slept at his friend’s place when he was very drunk and with me when he was not that drunk.


He was not always able to evaluate how drunk he was and came and rang my doorbell under all circumstances.


There was a doorbell on the outer door, and I used to go down to meet him outside the main door to talk with him for a few minutes to decide if he was so dazed from Methadone and alcohol that I could not reach him.


If I was not able to reach him, I asked him to go to his friend, but otherwise he came with me upstairs.


His body and mind were dissolving in front of my very eyes, and there was nothing I could do to prevent it.


One day, I was writing, and he sat in the adjacent room.


A terrible sound came from him and I turned with a jolt to see what was happening.


He stood vertically up in the air, and his body was trembling with cramps, as if an invisible being shook him back and forth in a totally unreal way.


His eyes rolled around and he sank down on the couch again, his eyes turned white before they closed and a bubble of blood stood out from his lips.

 

I jumped to my feet, rushed in and seized him around his upper arms and shook him while I screamed in despair: "No, no, I beg you. I beg you. Come back. Come back."


I had a vague idea that you could call a person back from the threshold of death if you begged him/her not to leave.


My body shook from a deep, tearless and silent sobbing, and I sank shaking down on the floor.

 

He opened his eyes and looked calmly at me.


"What’s the matter?" he asked gently.


"Don’t you know that you had a seizure?"


"No," he said.


I was so shook up that it took me several hours to recover.


Then I said: "I cannot see you anymore. You have to… you must seek professional help now."


"No, you must help me," he said helplessly, and still today, 16 years later, my heart breaks by remembering this moment.


"Yes, but don’t you understand that if I could help you, it would have happened. There is nothing which I can find out, which I haven’t tried to do to help you, but it hasn’t helped. You have to, you must, seek professional help now.


I cannot ask you any longer to keep the alcohol down when you risk getting such seizures for that reason, and when you’re dazed by alcohol, I cannot reach you, so I can’t see you anymore.


When you’re signed in at a treatment place, you can call me, and then we can meet again."


A couple of days later
, he called me from his friend’s house and said that he had got a cramp seizure during the night, and he almost bit his tongue in two, so there was a deep hole in it.


"Can I come over?" he asked with such a gentle and helpless tone of voice that it shot through me as a physically painful contraction in my stomach.


"No," I said with a bleeding heart, "you have to dial ‘help’ and tell them what happened, so they can send an ambulance and hospitalize you. You must have professional help now. Nothing I can do can help you now."


A couple of hours later
, he called me from the hospital and my hopes rose.


He told me that they had asked him if he wanted to get out of alcohol, and he had said yes, so now he thought that they would help him, but he needed various things
, which he asked me to pick up and bring to him.

 

I went to his friend’s house, found the things he wanted, and went to the hospital.


There was a deathlike silence in the hallway, and his slight frame appeared to me to be even slighter than it used to be.


We sat in silence together for some time, and then we agreed that I should come every day for as long as the stay lasted.


The next morning
, he called me and said that they signed him out because treatment of alcoholics and drug addicts had to go through other channels.


"Don’t they understand that your situation is acute?" I asked.


"Yes," he said, "but it is illegal for them to help me."


"Yes, but there are long waiting times in the treatment system," I said, "couldn’t they have given you some medicines to keep the alcoholism at bay until then?"


"That is also illegal," he said, "but you need not worry. I will tr
y to find a solution."

 

 

TUTU’S DEATH

 

Around ten days later, he called me in the afternoon.


"How are you doing?" I asked surprised, because he sounded completely sober at this hour of the day.


"I’m fine, there is lots of life left in me yet," he said cheerfully.


"Yes, of course," I said, "that I also counted on. You just need some help with your alcohol problem."


"I have spoken to Blue Cross," he said, "and I count on getting help from them."

 

"That’s very nice. Call me as soon as you’re signed in.


By the way
, I have moved the furniture around in the way you suggested, so the bed is now in the small room. The only thing lacking for everything to be as it ought to be is that you’re lying in the bed next to me.


"Then what is this?" he asked referring to the fact that it was my choice that he was not living in our apartment.


"That is nothing. It only concerns your alcohol problem."


"I love you," he said.


"I love you too," I said, and we hung up.


One o’clock in the night
, my doorbell rang.


I woke up confused and thought that it was TuTu
, who had decided to come home for some important reason or other.


I picked up the hall phone: "Yes."


“It is the police. It concerns Harishchandra Sharma.” The voice on the other end said.


"He doesn’t live here," I said.


"Yes, but we would like to talk to you for a moment anyway," they said.


I let them in.


"You are married to him?"


"Yes."


"We’re sent from Glostup hospital. You should call them immediately."


"What has happened?" I asked.


"Your husband has fallen down a stair in Sundholm and has hurt his head. He was first taken to Sundby hospital to be operated on, but then they transferred him to Glostrup."


I called up and was told that he might not live through the night, so if I wanted to see him, I had to come now.

 

Weeping, I called my sister to ask her to drive me there.


I called up TuTu’s mother and sister and told them about the situation.


My sister came, and we drove to the hospital.


Here we
were told that he was in a coma lying in a ventilator.


I dared not go in to see him because I was scared that he might look afraid or desperate, so my sister went in there first.


"You can readily go in there. He looks peaceful," she said.


His hair was shaved off, and he had a small bandage on the right side of his head.


An older nurse came over to me and said in a calm and sober tone of voice: "I regret that you got the message from an inexperienced nurse. She has not given this kind of messages before.

 

Your husband is brain dead, and we have put him in a respirator to await those body signals  which tell us that his brain is really dead."


Her calm and sober voice made me calm immediately.


"How do you know that?" I asked.

 

"The body no longer holds the water back, and that’s why all the time, I check it in this bag. The urine goes down there, because we have laid a catheter.


"Does it pain when a person’s brain dies?" I asked.


"No," she said in the same calm and sober tone of voice, "if a person gets a hard blow to the head, the brain will swell in the same way as a finger that has got a hard blow, but because there is no space for it, blood and liquid is pressed out of the brain, and then it dies."


She left, and I looked calmly at him.


Gently, I stroke his hands, his face, his feet.


I kissed his hands and his feet and leaned over the bed to put my head on his chest for the last time.


When I put my head there, it was as if his spiritual heart ascended from his chest and enveloped my head in a gentle embrace.

 

When I lifted my head again, I found myself in a state of quiet ecstasy.


I sat down by the bedside to meditate.


A doctor came and asked if it was all right by me that they shut off the ventilator because they had now ascertained that the brain death had occurred.

 

I nodded and remained sitting by his bed while his body became cold.


A nurse came and asked if I would say when it was all right with me that they took his body away.


I got up and said that they could do it now.


When I left from there, the pink and turquoise colors of dawn beamed towards me.


My ecstasy ascended and ascended the following days, so I became unable to tell anybody that TuTu died, because I could not say it without bursting into laughter, and I feared the reactions of others if they heard that, so my sister did it for me.


"How typical of him," I thought, "first he gives me the shock of his impending death by getting a cramp seizure that appears as if he is dying, while he is here and can himself help me through the worst, and on the day itself, he calls me in a completely sober state and tells me how happy and optimistic he is, so that I don’t have to pain from uncertainty and unrest by the thought that he might have felt lonely or abandoned on this day".


He also told me the most important of all and gave me the chance of saying the same: "I love you."

 

 Contents part 3

 

TUTU’S FUNERAL

 

TuTu had told me that he liked best the Parsi Zoroastrian way of treating the physical body after death.


They put up the dead body in The Tower of Silence, where birds ate the flesh off the bones, and where wind and weather dried them out, until they smoldered and went back to mother Earth, but there was no Tower of Silence in Denmark, so instead he was cremated and put down in the mutual grave of the known.

 

 

TUTU’S BIRTH

 

Later, his mother told me that he called her when he was signed out of the hospital, and they had spoken together to her heart's content.

 

When she hung up, she knew there was nothing more to say.


She only hoped that there would be somebody with him when the moment came.


Besides this, she told me that his birth had been something out of the ordinary.


She was in a kind of meditative condition while she dozed off between labors, and it came as a shock to her when she gave birth to her next child that childbirth is a painful event.

 

 

PREPARATION FOR CROSSING THE BOUNDARY OF DEATH

 

One day, a couple of months after TuTu’s death, I was in a café with a small group from one of The Fellowships Anonymous, and one of those present told me that he stopped smoking nicotine after a shamanic travel.


Since then, he did not have any problems with it.


I had not yet succeeded in giving up nicotine, so I asked him to connect me with the shaman.


He turned out to be a friendly Danish man around fifty years of age from one of The Fellowships Anonymous.


He said that it couldn’t be known if a person stopped smoking nicotine as a result of his/her shamanic travels, but under all circumstances, my first traveling purpose had to be to go into the inner world to see if I could meet an animal who was willing to become my guide.

 

Gradually, as our conversation progressed, I understood that shamanic travels consisted in moving around in the inner Worlds in a wake and conscious state.


Besides, he said that it would reveal itself if a given animal would be my guide, if the animal behaved in an unusual way or approached me four times in various ways.


I had to lie down in a relaxed position on a mattress on the floor and would get some earphones on, through which I would hear the shamanic drum that would mark the pulse of the travel.


When I heard a drum roll, the traveling time was up, and I had to return to my normal day consciousness.

 

He stuck a small microphone to my blouse collar and said that I should keep narrating what I saw during the course of my entire travel, and it would be taped.


After the travel, he would also tape our conversation, which would take place to clear up whatever doubts or questions I might have, and then I could listen to the tape in between our meetings to be able to go deeper with my understanding of my experiences.

 


THE MEETING WITH THE COBRA KA

 

During my first travel, I met a black snake, who moved forward in front of me on the road.


Suddenly, he straightened like a stick, and in the end, he got up on the tip of his tail and danced for me.


As recommended by the shaman, I took him in my arms, took him back with me from the travel and gave him to the shaman.


I felt a bit ridiculous when I gave the shaman the snake that was invisible to the physical eye, and the shaman received him and blew him into my spiritual system, by first blowing into my heart chakra and then into my crown chakra.


The snake chose to settle in my solar plexus chakra, and when I asked him why, he said that my solar plexus chakra was always open, and therefore, he rolled himself up like a flat spiral and lay there to protect me from irrelevant penetrations.


When I came out into the street again, I discovered that the colors of the three dimensional Reality had a new glow, which I had never noticed before.

 

 

THE POWER OF THE COBRA

 

As soon as possible, I asked the spiritual beings I met on my travels about their name and looked it up in a dictionary later to find out the symbolic meaning, which I considered to be information about the archetypal energies which were active in my interactions with them.


The snake called himself Ka, but I had not found out what Ka meant when I was about to describe my travels in this book.


In a conversation with TuTu’s mother, who visited Denmark at that time, I got to know that the black cobra looks like all other snakes when it did not have the hood distended, and that it was called Kalanag, which means black snake in Hindi.

 

It had not occurred to me that it was a cobra I met, because he had not distended his hood like the cobra does when defending himself or attacking, but that might be due to the fact that Ka neither defended himself against me nor attacked, and I got to think that Ka had introduced himself by the short form of Kalanag.


In Hinduistic posters of archetypes, the cobra is often found with distended hood as a part of the picture, because it is considered to be a powerful protector, and it was thus a powerful protector who had come to me.


I really needed that because it would soon show that my true Self’s purpose of bringing me together with the shaman was to send me on travels to the realm of death, which, as the shaman explained, could be a very difficult and even downright dangerous area to move around in.

 

Later on, I found out that the word Ka is an ancient Egyptian word that means Spirit, and is related to the God Horus with the all-seeing Horus Eye that is a symbol of the Omniscience of Spirit.

 

 

THE MEETING WITH THE JAGUAR KAVA

 

Ahead of my second travel, the shaman said that Ka wasn’t my guide but a chakra animal, so I had to travel yet another time to see if I could meet my guide.

 

On the travel, I met a jet black jaguar whose name is Kava.


Kava kava is a Milanese root, which is used in New Guinea for making slightly intoxicating drinks that are also used as a door opener to shamanic travels, and to me, the name expressed the slightly changed states of consciousness I entered into when I met Kava.


It was an emotional meeting, and I think that TuTu knew many years ahead of his death that this meeting was going to take place.

 

From a monthly magazine about cars, he had cut out a jaguar which was see-through like glass, and had stuck it on one of the doors of our table linen cupboard.


At that time, I thought he stuck it there because he dreamt of getting a car of that type.


On the other door of the cupboard, he had stuck yet another ‘invisible’ jaguar, with just the eyebrows, the green eyes and the canines visible.


For the nose he had put a red heart, and that gave me the idea that he wanted to say something to me with this picture, because he always used to call my attention to hearts of all forms and materials, for example in the tiles of the street, in the leaves of the trees, in the feathers of the birds and so on, and to top it all, I had green eyes and long canines like the jaguar on the door.

 

I had not had the heart to say to him that I didn’t want these things glued on the furniture, and at the point in time of my travel, they had been sitting there for years.


I had got used to them, and I also thought that TuTu’s heart-shaped nose gave the otherwise wild looking jaguar a cute look.

 

When Kava came bouncing to me in the beginning of the travel, I sought for words to find a designation for the big jet black cat I saw.


"I don’t really know what such one is called," I narrated on the tape, "it is very big… what is it called? A panther... A leopard?


At that moment, TuTu’s pictures on the cupboard doors flashed before my inner eye.


"Oh," I said, "it is a jaguar. A very beautiful and spectacular jaguar, and this meeting has been prepared for a very long time."


The love Kava showed me took me by surprise.


It was like balm on my wounded heart, and for that reason, I cried deeply moved during a major part of the travel.


We talked together about various things, and I was more and more fascinated by her.


At that time, I wasn’t aware that she was a she, and considered if she, in some way which I was not able to understand, was TuTu in disguise, and I looked at her in love.


She turned her head and said phlegmatic "I’m a she."


At that moment, the home calling drum sounded, and with that the travel ended.

 

 Contents part 3

 

THE POWER OF THE JAGUAR

 

Later, I did some research on the Internet under the heading of shamanism and found that the word panther is used at random to refer to the jaguar as well as the leopard.


Jaguar and panther are thus two different names of the same animal.


In Abodazara, early Jewish commentary on the scriptures, the jaguar or the panther is enumerated to be the last name in Josef’s family.


The scripture tells how a man was healed in Jesus Ben Panther’s name, and the power of the jaguar is thus connected with Jesus.

 

The jaguar is also known as the power of The Thousand Eyes of Argo, the symbol of God’s omniscience in the Greek mythology.


The God Hermes killed Argo, and the power from his thousand eyes was transferred to the feathers of the peacock.


The peacock is the vehicle of Shri Krishna, also called his Totem in shamanism, and therefore, Shri Krishna also possesses the power of the jaguar.


Besides, the jaguar is considered to be a symbol of rebirth after a period of suffering and death.


Rebirth means that longstanding hurts at long last begin to heal, and with the healing, that person who has the jaguar as his/her Power Animal or Totem would achieve the regaining of the power that was lost at the time the hurts occurred.


The jaguar is also a symbol of the rising of the Kundalini power and symbolizes the time phase where the person with this Totem moves from the poles of existence to a life without poles or barriers.


It is also a symbol of the Greek archetype Dionysus, the twice born.


For the one to whom the jaguar comes as a Totem, the other realities will open up, and the jaguar also holds the promise of protection and regained power, which transforms that which is sad in our lives to joy.


The jaguar is also a symbol of Mastership of all the dimensions, the Absolute Mastership.


When I had got this information, it became clear to me that it was the power and courage of the jaguar that Krishna had used to abduct Rukmini in spite of the superior force against him, and that it was the courage and power of the jaguar that Jesus had used to confront his terrifying death instead of fleeing from it, and it would turn out that the jaguar came to help me cross the boundary of death and turn my pain into joy, but most important of all, it would prove that Kava became my neutral anchor, upon whom I had an unconditional trust during all of my inner travels.

 

 

TUTU, THE JAGUAR, THE LION AND ME

 

When TuTu moved, he had the grace of a cat, and when he yawned or stretched, I got to think of a lion.


Once, I ‘saw’ myself as a lioness too.


This happened in a sexual interaction.

 

TuTu had suggested that we should make love, and that I should try to imagine that I did not know which sexual organs belonged to whom.


In the sequence, I got a vision of us as lions on the savannah, where he followed me.


He uttered lovesick lion sounds, caught up with me and covered me, while at the same time, he bit my neck.

 

I told him that I had seen us as lion and lioness but not the content of the vision.


One day, we had bought a Walkman and walked around in Amager, and I spoke into the microphone to make a sound snapshot of my experiences together with him.


He was drunk and walked next to me.


I said into the microphone:
"Yes, and just think how strange it is that he is walking here on the street like other people and have to discuss with the drugstore man if he can get a beer on credit.


I don’t know how to describe the contrast between his spiritual being and his human needs.


He needs the same care as everybody else."


"Yes," he broke in with a childish voice, "also for kisses."


"Yes," I said, "also for kisses."


"And then he bit her neck…" he continued and growled like a lovesick lion, "aaarghh," and the surroundings of his nose wrinkled like that of a lion.


I shook from joy.


He knew it!


My intuitive perception that we both belonged to the cat-line of the animal realm I hereby felt confirmed by him, but when I looked at my body colors I saw the colors of the lioness, and when I looked at his, I saw the colors of the jaguar.


That made me conclude that we both had lived through times as lions and as jaguars in that time phase where our consciousness moved through the cat-line of the animal realm.

 

I also had some mind-images of myself as a house cat.


An exhausting and scuffled existence with human beings as sole company.


A stranger in a strange land.


When I thus found my roots in the animal realm, I understood many sides of myself better, and I also got to think that the spiritual purity among others expresses itself in the body odor of a person, and that perception made me think that TuTu’s spiritual purity was perfect.


Before the Spiritual Wedding, my body odor at times had a distinct and strong smell of cat, while he never smelled from anything, even under extreme circumstances.


For example, when he ate garlic, he smelled of fresh garlic instead of getting that stale smell that can arise as a mix of garlic and human odor.


At times, he showered only every three weeks once, and that did not make any difference either.


Also at the time where he was the furthest out, physically speaking, he had no personal smell but the Methadone, the alcohol and the tobacco could of course be picked up.

 

 Contents part 3

 

REUNION WITH TUTU

 

After my second inner travel, it turned out that the shaman’s specialty was death and death work, and he agreed to teach me.


The purpose of my first death travel was to learn something about death from Kava.


First, she took me to a place which I spontaneously called The Cave of Death.


We sat outside this place for some time and looked in.


In short glimpses, I saw people move around in there.


Kava began ascending up through some kind of darkness, and confused, I followed.


I spotted a sheen of light at the top, and I realized that we moved up through some kind of channel, and then I realized that it was my spine, and that this was a Kundalini ascend.

When we approached the exit of the channel, the Sahasrara chakra, I got scared of what I would get to see when we came out.

 

The ascent came to a stop.


Kava became still as a statue, sat motionless and waited.


I told her about my fear and distrust, and she started running away from me.

 

I thought that she abandoned me because of my distrust, but only much later she told me that she was running to pick up help.


I did not know what to do about that and hurried to ask my true Self for help to achieve the required trust to be able to follow her.


She came back and suggested that she enveloped me, and I got very shy, because I felt that this was the highest honor she could show me, but in spite of my shyness that made it impossible for me to speak I was able to nod in agreement.


She enveloped me and inside of her, it became possible for me to come out of the channel.


I was impressed by the landscape that met my eye when we came out, but she was in a hurry and with me in her pelt, we ran fast and came through a desolate area.


Then we came to a place which I spontaneously called the city before you come to the light, because it lay in darkness and you could see a gleam of light on the other side of it.


When we came to the outskirts of the town, I shook.


"TuTu lives here?!" I exclaimed and got a nervous stomach-ache by the thought.


I asked Kava to stop for a moment and stepped out of her pelt.


My voice sank to a whisper: "Do you know where he lives?"


She said yes, and I asked her to take me there.


Fast, she took me through the city, until we came to an area with circular houses.


She took me into one of them.


When my eyes got used to the darkness, I discovered that TuTu was lying alone sleeping right in the middle of that circle that the sole room of the house formed.


I walked over to him and called gently: "Harish, wake u..u..up."


Drowsy he sat up: "Oh, it’s you?"


"Yes, it’s me. How are you?"

 

"I’m fine, I dreamt about you, and…"


It appeared that something penetrated to him.


"Oh, I miss you,” he said.

 

I became remorseful, because I had woken him up and made him feel want.


"Oh, yes… I really don’t know what to say," I said sadly, "maybe you can lie down and dream some more. I don’t know."


"Stay with me," he said.


"Yes, but I want to be in the light," I said.


"You don’t have to be scared of the darkness," he said.


"I’m not scared of the darkness. It is dull. That’s all."


I sighed and thought about that he told me while he was still alive, that he would be the one who picked me up when I died.


Even if he was twelve years younger than me, we both knew that he probably would die first due to his illness.


At that time, I became glad to hear his words, but now I thought that I wanted to be together with him in a wake state instead of lying and dreaming about him, even if it happened in his arms.


Before my own death, I wanted him to reach the light in the distance, so we could be awake together.


"You have to go to the light. If you miss me and want to be together, you have to go to the light," I said.


"Then why are you here?" he asked.


"I’m only here because it is important to me to know how you are."


"I’m fine here," he said.


My voice sank to a whisper of pain, because apparently he had no intentions of doing what I suggested: "It's all right. The most important thing is that you are where you want to be."

 

"Don’t be angry about it," he said.


"Yes, but angry? No, but I am happy. If it is here that you are happy, then I’m happy for you."


"Oh, I’m so tired now," he said sleepily.


"All right," I said and suppressed my crying.


He looked at me for a moment and began to lie down again.


My voice sank to a whisper: "Yes, just lie down. Go to sleep. Sleep… and dream sweet dreams. Yes… sweet dreams I want for you."


He slept.


I went back to Kava.


"Hey Kava, he is sleeping now."


All of a sudden, weeping overwhelmed me: "Oh no. Everything is so different than I had believed."


"He’s sleeping now," Kava said.


"Well, yes." I said snuffling, "let’s just get away then."


Again crying overwhelmed me.


"Yes… oh yes… ooooh, I’m mourning, because he is in such a place, which I find so dull."


"It is not dull for him," Kava said.


"Well no, that is of course right."


I could not pull myself together to leave the place.


Kava consoled me and said that he slept a good long sleep without being interrupted by withdrawals.


"Well, yes, that is true too. I have always loved to sleep too, so why not?" I said.


"Yes, there you see," Kava said.

 

"Yes... yeah, yes, but I wanted more for him than just sleeping," I said with a choking voice.

I pulled myself together and added: "But that is just nonsense."


"He is fine," Kava said.


"Yes, yes… but it torments me that he said that he misses me. Can't one do something about that?"


"When he is sleeping, he is dreaming about you," Kava said.


"Well, yes," I exclaimed with relief and began laughing when it sank in totally, "well, yes… yes, one can of course just say it in that way there… It is a bit hard this. That I really have to say."


The travel ended, and I thanked Kava from the bottom of my heart for her teachings.

 

 Contents part 3


THE REALM OF DEATH

 

Afterwards, the shaman showed me a book in which the realm of death was described and said that this area was a locality in the inner world, which existed beyond the other Worlds.

 

It was known by shamans under various names depending on the perception of the individual shaman, in my case as the Cave of Death and in other cases as the Realm of death, pain and illness, the Place of Death and so on.


He also said that the place I had been to was an intermediary station, where some departed people passed through and others stayed for a shorter or longer period to regenerate after a life, which in one way or another required a rest period.


According to his opinion, TuTu was in the mildest of the conditions, which could be due to a person dying under the circumstances that he did.


Then he asked if I would like to help TuTu to move on.


"Can you do that? I always believed that it was the departed people who helped us and not the other way around"


"It happens both ways."


"Oh, if there is something that I can do to help, I would very much like to do that."

 

"Then you first have to go through death yourself on your next travel," he said, "then you know how it feels, and then you have to help another person than your husband that you know has died some time back. When you have done that, you can help your husband."


All this took me by surprise.

 

A couple of months before his death, TuTu had told me that Jesus was a shaman.


At the same occasion, he said that soon I would have my great wish fulfilled.


Immediately, I knew that he spoke about moving into the dimensions consciously and exclaimed: "Then I want to meet the Master."


"That’s all right, but you have to see your father first," he said.


I became thrilled and imagined that it would be a happy experience, which I would talk to TuTu about, even if he said that I had to be prepared for that as it cost blood to achieve it.


In no way had I considered that it should cost his blood, but when I became aware that the specialty of the shaman was death work, I had thought that TuTu had prepared me for this moment, and I expected that the predictions of the palm leaf archives were going to become reality now, and thus, that I should be able to get continuous visions of my Guru and God.


I perceived TuTu to be my Guru and God and therefore I had counted on that he would begin to guide me from the inner worlds from now on.


Now, instead, I was in a situation where I had an animal as an inner guide and was about to help TuTu instead of the other way around.

 

 

SURRENDER TO GOD THE FATHER AND GODDESS THE MOTHER

 

During my second death travel, my traveling purpose was to experience my death like suggested by the shaman.


In this case, I have chosen to make a transcript of my traveling tape, because I feel that it speaks on its own without needing further explanations.


I have used square parenthesis around explanations that are not spoken on the tape and around tones of voice that cannot be perceived by help of the written word.

 

I have also used normal parenthesis around what others in my inner travel say that cannot be heard on the tape.

 

At this point in time, the name I used for my totem was Jaguar as I did not know her name that later proved to be Kava, but in this transcript, I have chosen to use her real name for her anyway.

 

The transcription of my inner travel tape:


"Yes, Ok, so I’m here at the departure place, and Kava is there.


She is in a big hurry. She has hardly time to say hello, so she rushes into the tunnel.


OK.


We are through.


We are in the Cave of Death now, and she sits and looks, and I sit and look.


I feel a bit nervous and a bit tense and the likes.


So, I sort of feel, as if I see myself trying to crawl up the wall in the Cave of Death, while at the same time, I sit next to Kava and watch.


I’m sort of formless in some way or other and confused.


I’m damn confused!


I don’t know what is going on.


Actually, I don’t know that I’m dead, and I actually don’t know why I try to crawl up the wall either, but I’m uneasy, and I’m anxious, and I want to crawl up that wall there, and it appears to me to be vital in some way or other to crawl up that wall, even if I don’t know why on earth I’m crawling up the wall.


I keep sliding down every time I try to crawl up.


I crawl and crawl, and I slide down, and I crawl up and slide down again.


I begin to get somewhat tired of crawling up and sliding down again.


I begin to ask myself why at all I try to crawl up.


Yes, it occurs to me that it is pointless to try to crawl up.

 

The only reason for me to try to crawl up is that I don’t know what else to do, and I think that I have to do something.


[I give up crawling up and sit up instead.]


I’m sitting down there at the bottom and looking around dazed, and I realize [My voice gets louder from fear] that this is really very different as compared to what I’m used to, and I become rather uneasy and sad… and confused, and little by little it penetrates to me that…


Yes… [I start crying]… yes that I’m dead… and I sit and look around a bit… and it is really an incredibly big place in reality. It is very much bigger than when I saw it the first time.


It is much bigger than I just realized at first…


So…


Oh, I’m glad to know with a small corner of my consciousness that you are sitting there [my shaman].


Yes, truly speaking man…


Well, but so… it is a very big place this one, it is like curved, expanding, and I look around and I think: "What next… what next… what…


So, there are others here too. There are actually others but me here.


Yes… well yes… there is actually ever so many…

 
So, it is incredibly big…


It is actually more like some kind of a city or… [I realize that I can’t describe the place with the help of words].


Well, but in any case it is incredibly big, and I don’t know really what I’m supposed to do, and I don’t really know anybody, and in that way, it is really being a lot, you could say, like, what I know from previously, coming into a new place and not really knowing, what I am to do…

 

Yes, I don’t know really what I’m to do.


Well, yes… It is as if there is a place over there, where you can go to get to know what you should do.

 

Well, ok, I go over there, I think.


All of a sudden it occurs to me, where is Kava?


Kava sits and looks at me.


Ok then, I have Kava with me now.


Kava walks next to me now, and we walk over there.


[Deep sigh in an attempt to find the bright side of the picture without being able to find it.]


Oh, yes, so, groovy… ok… yes…


Yes, good enough, so I go over there.


[I spot the reception] Really that’s just so wild. It is so crazy. It looks like such a place where you can buy tickets for the movies or something that style…


So… somewhat different anyway, but that’s probably the closest I can get…


Eh…

 

 Contents part 3


Yes, there is some person or other there, so I have better just… [Find out if it is all right to talk to the person, who looks very busy and apparently haven’t observed that I’m there.]

 
Yes, by Jove, I can after all just ask Kava. It really didn’t occur to me until now.


"Hey Kava, what now? Shall I ask, or shall I not ask, or can you tell me…


("Ask!" Kava says).


Ok, well, but I ask…

 
[I gather my courage] Yes, ok, then…


[To the woman in the reception] Well, but so, I would like to know what to do now…


So, I have just died, and I would like to… [I give out a loud laugh about the absurdity in what I’m saying]


Yes, sorry that I laugh, but it appears to me to be such a little bit unreal… eh… but really, I would like to know where I should go, or what I should do and such things there.

 

Ye… ah, I don’t really get an answer, and I think that she is about to find out what… [I’m supposed to do, and I think it will help the case if I say my name, so that I do and continue.]


I just died, and I would like to know what to do… [She doesn’t look up.]


What I shall do, yes… what direction to take, or what shall I do.


Kava gives a big yawn, so she is apparently used to such things…


(The woman lifts her head and says: "Go straight ahead.")

 

Ye… ah, well, but I am told that I just have to go straight ahead…

 

Mmmm… ok…


[I heave a deep and doubtful sigh]… yes, ok, so, I didn’t get so much wiser because of that, but I do it then.

 
But so I go straight ahead then…


It is such a rock area… rocks… rocks…

 
So, I’m really glad… [that Kava is there]


Ok, I go straight ahead… yes… yes.


I walk and I walk, but nothing really happens.


It keeps being the same, but I’m happy to have Kava’s company.


Well yes, maybe I should say it straight to Kava…


"I’m really happy that you’re here together with me. That is really nice. Do you know this? But really, couldn’t we…  [do something or the other to make events happen a bit faster?]


Really, do we have to walk here for so long?


Couldn’t you…


Really, couldn’t you help me to… move on to where it is that I am supposed to be, wherever that is?


Really, if… [you know it.] Do you?.........

 

("I can take you along," Kava says.)


…well, ok… Yes, but I would like that. I would like if you take me along… if you, yes, if you envelope me.


[Kava envelops me and begins to run with me inside her, and we come to the city
before you come to the light.]


I have come to the city before the light and it is dark there.


Yes… o… ohjj!!! [I get impressed by the sight of the light in the distance] There is some kind of light in the distance.


[Again I turn my gaze towards the city] I have come to the city before you come to the light...


[I find it difficult to find words to describe what I see] … eh... well, here live human beings… or here live Spirits… or here live people…


They walk in the streets.


Well, yes, so, people walk in the streets. It’s only dark here.


So...  but life just goes on, like it does here [In Copenhagen] in the winter, even if it is dark.


Well, but here I apparently…


[Suddenly I remember that it is the same city which I have been in once before.]


It’s the same place which TuTu lives in…


So the same place, or at least it looks a lot like it, but I do believe that it is the same city, or it is… or I think it is… yes, really, it is…

 
That there… ascent, [Kundalini ascending after we left the reception] I also saw that, but I didn’t get around to describe it because it happened so fast.


So, [I mean] that there… ascent which Kava made, but I was just tagging along.
 

 Contents part 3


Well, but so now I’m here…

 
So, yes, I don’t know really…

 
So Kava, I don’t know…

 

Ok so then I’m here, and then what?


("You have to live some place," Kava says.)


Well, I have to live some place.


[Kava brings me to a house similar to the one I have already visited, but this house is empty.]


So, apparently, I have to live in such a place, like TuTu lived in.


Such a round house… sort of.


Such a round house or at least a round room…

 
Oh, apparently I have to lay myself down in there in the middle…


So, I’m such a bit scared…


I’m sort of a bit scared to close my eyes…

 
So that is something strange… [I laugh]


So, I’m scared of closing my eyes, because I’m scared of dying…


Oh, no, how ‘watery’ [slang for silly]… but I’m sort of scared of dying if I close my eyes, but I’m already dead…

 
[I think deeply and become aware why I’m scared.]

 
Well, yes, I’m scared of what I am going to see if I close my eyes.


That is it.


Kava, now I really need… [I meant to complete ‘your advice’ but Kava answers me before I have finished what I wanted to say.]


("It is something you have to do alone.")


Ok, well, but then I sort of have to do it alone…


[I can’t bring myself to lie down]


E.. i.. h, no, th.. a.. really.

 

Well, but ok, I’ve got to…


It is a bit frightening… I really think so…


Well, so, but it is really as if I have to lay myself down on the floor there, and I have to make…


I don’t really know what it is, a kind of meditation, or… something along those lines, really…

 
Well, but… I don’t know.


I’m a little bit afraid, damn it, in some way or other… hm… but eh… I could of course try to be trusting… and try to do it…


Really, it is kind of hard really…

 

Kava sits in one side, and I’m told that it is something which I have to do alone.


I would really like to have Kava with me; I would feel kind of more safe about that, I think.


I don’t know really.

 

I think that I’ll just talk a bit with Kava about it, because I don’t feel sort of quite safe about this.


"Hm... yah... so Kava so... I’m not so… the shaman also said something about that I shouldn’t go some places where you are not coming along… I’m not so crazy about that thing there about laying myself down there in the middle and things like that.


I think, suppose now I’m not strong enough to… eh… to be able to see what I have to see.


Really… I need help… I need help… I need courage and clarity and trust… and I pray to receive help to have courage, clarity and trust, and then tell me Kava if I should do it or I shouldn’t do it.


("No," Kava says with emphasis.)


NO??


OK, so then I don’t do it.


What then?

 

[Kava envelops me and begins to run.]


Well, now it proceeds.


Ok, we’re moving towards the light now…


Kava is running and running very fast, and Kava has me within her.


Yes, we are coming closer to… the light.


Kava stops and sits down, and I discover that now again we sit in the Cave of Death… and just sit there in the entrance to The Cave of Death… sit and look.


[Suddenly I realize that we haven’t moved through the landscape like we use to, to come to some place or the other.]

 

It has happened fast coming back to that… [place].


[Then I realize that we are both sitting in front of the light and in front of The Cave of Death.]


Well yes, have come back is not like that… it… eh…


 Contents part 3


I have been sitting there all the time, while I have followed that part of me which moved into The Cave of Death together with Kava.


[I return to my awareness of the light.]


Well, so, I can see the light.


I can see the light in the distance.

 

It is sort of… a kind of refulgence you could say.


So… a kind of white sun you could say… yes, you couldn’t say sun.

 

You can only see the beams from there.


I look… it lights up the whole space there far away behind the darkness, and I look…


And yes, I begin to move towards it, very direct, together with Kava…


Yes, I move towards there [some surprising ideas appear in my thoughts] and I wonder if it is Godfather or Godmother who is in the light.

 

Aaaaa… I think Godmother.


[Suddenly it strikes me that everything I read about the bliss of meeting the light doesn’t happen in my case.]


Oh, yes, it is quite ordinary in reality as compared to what I had thought it was.


Well, yes, so… It is the strangest thoughts I get, but I suppose I just have to surrender to them.


It is good that I have Kava walking next to me.


She becomes all white now.


Well, ok, yes, so those things that appear inside me are that Godfather is the darkness and Godmother is the light.


Together, they are everything.


Godfather cannot be seen.

 

That is why he is the darkness.

 

Godmother can be seen, and that’s why she is the light.


And they love each other, those two.


Yes… oh yes…


So now I just say the things which pass through.


So dusk is there… where they merge with each other to a certain extent…


[I think it is some strange thoughts I express, but then pull myself together to express them totally straight.]


Really, not to a certain extent…


It is quite simply the sexual act between the light and the darkness… it is kind of odd to say it, but ok.


[I remember my spiritual goal and want to surrender to Goddess the Mother and God the Father in their most abstract form, which I’m now faced with, but I’m shy, because, at the same time, I know that the shaman takes notes about those areas he wants to comment afterwards.]


Oh yes, well… yes… yah…


So, Godmother, I want to surrender to you as a child, and Godfather, I want to surrender to you as a child.


I want that you will receive me as my caring and loving parents, and I pray that I may become one with both of you, filled with love for both of you.


Filled with love… for the light and the darkness.


[I sigh lightly from relief about having said it, and then I feel that Godmother and Godfather receive me as their child. When the reception is completed, I realize that I am their child, and it has always been like that, but I haven’t been able to see it, because I have connected the darkness with 'evil'. I sigh deeper and deeper and begin to cry, feeling moved when the realization penetrates me.]


[Crying of relief, feeling deeply moved and grateful for the beauty of what I experience I acknowledge my true nature].


Yes… and I am of the light, and I am of the darkness.


[The home calling drum.]


Yes, yes.


Kava?


[In a flash, Kava envelops me, and fast as lightning, we move back through the areas we have come through. I laugh out loud.]


Goodness me, how fast she is.


We are at home [At the departure place].


Yes, we are at home.


[To Kava] Thank you. You are just the most wonderful on Earth.


I’m glad that you are in my life.


I thank you for the journey and for what I learned.

 

The journey was over.


I sat up and sighed lightly.

 

 Contents part 3

 

PURIFICATION OF THE GUILT OF THE MOTHER LOVE

 

The shaman said that now it would be a good idea if I began traveling a bit on my own at home if I felt like it, and then we could talk about possible problems that occurred.


First, I traveled to get to know Kava better and it was only in this travel that I found out that her name was Kava.


Until then, I had called her Jaguar.


She told me that her life began once a long time ago, when she was born where the sun rises.


She grew up, and one day, she met her beloved.


I saw everything through her eyes and felt her pain, when her beloved was on his way away from her again.


The big beautiful male jaguar disappeared in the distance.


His name was Kama.


After that, she got cubs and proudly showed them to me.


"Don’t you feel pain when you look at your cubs?" I asked.


"No," she said, and it was first at that moment, I became aware that the pain I felt in relation to my son wasn’t a feeling which was always part of motherhood.

 

In the following time period, I discovered that the pain in my mother heart was connected with the pain I felt within my inner child, the emotions and thoughts of my childhood.


My son looked like me, and in the areas where I learned to be critical of myself, I was also critical of him, but it pained my heart that my mother-love was not without even one single critical thought.


Besides, I was tormented by the mistakes I felt I had committed in my relationship with him during his growth.

 

After the travel, a purification took place, where slowly, I was liberated from the guilt which had weighed down my heart.


First, I realized that any newborn baby comes into the World with his/her personal purposes and needs exactly those parents who come to his/her lot, to make it possible for him/her to fulfill his/her personal purpose.


Then I ran into the Tibetan term tertön.


A tertön is a person who has projected his/her spiritual knowledge into the future with the idea of taking on a life at a specific time phase, to pass on his/her information when others had become receptive to them.


A tertön seeks a couple of parents who need to die early so that he/she doesn’t get his/her parents' support during childhood.


A person who has the support of both his/her parents during childhood rests safely in their love, whereas a person who doesn’t have the support of the parents begins to look for the parents behind the parents.


The person therefore ends up finding God, and that is exactly the purpose of a tertön.


When I realized that even the worst thinkable circumstances for a child could be part of the person’s purpose in life, my mother-heart healed, being aware that my son needed a mother like me to be able to fulfill his purposes in life.

 

 

KNOWLEDGE AND WILL ALONE IS NOT ENOUGH

 

On my second travel on my own, I wanted to receive guidance as to how to stop smoking nicotine.

 

Kava was, as usual, at the departure place and she ran eagerly fast through the landscape, carrying me, until we came to a glade in the vegetation.


There was a small cave there, and in front of the cave, TuTu sat like a yogi in the lotus position and meditated.


Kava sat down and stared at him in love.


I sat down next to her and waited.


His thumb and forefinger on each hand formed a circle, which was turned towards me, and I felt that he said to me without words that we were both whole now in the same way as the circles.


He opened his eyes.

 

They were big and glittering and they became bigger and bigger.


In the end they formed one big glittering eye in the middle.


I called his name, but he interrupted me and said: "My name is Kama here."


His tone of
voice was so awe-inspiring that I totally forgot that he was ever my husband.


"I seek guidance as to how I can stop smoking nicotine," I said.


"You just do it and forget it."


That I knew already, and so I came up with all those objections that were my reasons for taking up smoking again at those times I had stopped in the past.


All his answers were something that I already knew, so I realized that I had all the information that I needed for the purpose, but I still smoke in this moment of writing and so I have come to understand that will and knowledge are not enough.


Time also has to be ripe and some more years had to pass before I, at long last achieved the power to let go of this powerful addiction.

 

 

THE ARCHETYPE OF THE SEXUAL POWER

 

I looked up the word Kama in my dictionary, and it means: The God of Love in the form of desire.


Kama is, in other words, the archetypal power of sexual love, and when I had found that out, it appeared logical to me that both Kava’s partner and TuTu, who was my partner, had the same name because they were The God of Sexual Love for us, each in his own way.


Later, I became aware that the power of Kama belongs to Hara Chakra.


I made a shamanic journey there, where among others I was together with TuTu, who told me this.

 

 

PREPARATION FOR PURIFICATION OF RELUCTANCE

 

When the shaman suggested that first I should help another person who died, it struck me that I should help a woman who died from an overdose.


TuTu had lived together with her for a period of time in Sundholm at the time where I had told him that our relationship was over.


When the thought struck me, I was seized by jealousy by the idea that now she could be together with TuTu on the other side, while I had to live on here.


No, I wouldn’t downright help her to trace out TuTu, I decided.


Instead, I would help a girlfriend’s former husband, who also died from an overdose about a year ago.


I felt uncomfortable about my decision because it didn’t feel like the right action, but I shook it off and thought addressing Tutu: "That thing there I will not get mixed up in at all. If she is going to get help, you have to do it yourself," because I felt that the impulse had come from him.

 

 Contents part 3

 

DEATH HELP

 

I lay down on the mattress of the shaman and made myself ready for my third death travel, when I changed my mind about my traveling purpose, which was to help Joe Ben.


I would also help that woman with whom TuTu had lived together, if I could.


I asked my shaman, "I have an urge to say that I travel to help Joe Ben or Lone Kvist. Can one do that?"


(The names are not the actual names of the persons in question.)


"Yes," the shaman said, "that you can."


I said my traveling purpose four times, like I used to, and the journey started.


First, I found Joe Ben, who sat on a bench in Sundholm and looked absentmindedly ahead of himself.


He did not notice me, and I felt pulled over to another area of Amager.


There I met Lone Kvist in the street.

 

I asked her if she was aware that she was dead.


She began crying and said that then she could better understand it.


Everything had become so strange.


I said that I had come to see if I could help her to proceed, if she wanted it.

 

She did, and Kava enveloped both of us and brought us to The Cave of Death.


We levitated in a Kundalini ascent, but during the ascent, Lone got scared and the journey came to a stop.


The glimpse she had got when Kava rushed through The Cave of Death had frightened her.


She could remember that it was the place where she got confused and fled back to something familiar, which she knew from her past.


I explained to her that The Cave of Death was just a place you came through on your way onward but it did not help, so she had to go back and go through the experience to discover that there was nothing to fear.


In The Cave of Death, she got up dazed yet another time, and this time, she managed to avoid fleeing and she went to the registration, where she was also told to move straight ahead.


Kava and I walked behind her, but that she wasn’t aware of.


When she reached the end of the hallway, she stared out into the darkness.


She obviously did not know what to do, and I asked Kava for advice.


Kava gave a roar so wild that both Lone and I got a shock and fell over the edge.


All the three of us fell down through the darkness to the light and landed softly on the lawn in a garden with flowers and trees.


Suddenly, TuTu came walking towards us.


He looked at Kava and me, but he did not heed us.


After the travel, the shaman told me that he probably didn’t see us even if he looked at us, because it was often the case under such circumstances that the person just felt a presence without seeing anything.

 

He walked over to Lone Kvist, embraced her, soothed her and told her that there was nothing to be afraid of.


Then, he said that he loved her, and they walked away together.


Kava and I hurried back to Sundholm.


Joe Ben still sat there and looked somewhat glassy out of his eyes.


He didn’t hear me even if I said hello to him, and Kava went over and rubbed his leg a couple of times, and then he became aware.


I asked how he felt, and he said that he felt strange because everything appeared to be so unreal.


He had taken some kind of drug, he couldn’t remember which one, and he sat here waiting for the effect to subside.


I said: "It is not because you have taken something that you feel like that. You feel like that because you’re actually dead."


"Dead?"


"Yes, you’re dead."


"You must be joking?"


"No, I’m not joking."


"Then, how can I speak with you?"


"That you can, because I’m traveling on the astral plane."


"Well then, that’s why I can’t talk to anyone of the people I know."


"Yes that’s why. They can’t hear you."


"Well, then I can better understand it."


"Yes."


"Yes, but then it is clear."


"Yes."

 

"Then, what are you doing here?"


"Actually, I have come to ask you if you could do with some help to proceed, so that you don’t have to be so confused."


He immediately agreed, and Kava picked us both up.


She ran with the speed of lightning to The Cave of Death, and Joe Ben got up fairly fast and went over to the registration.


Then, we went down the rock hall, but then I spotted a side hall, which I hadn’t seen before.


We went down that hallway and came to a room, which looked like the waiting room in a hospital with a lively coming and going.


Joe Ben was sitting there sinking away all of the time even if Kava rubbed him, and when a doctor came over there, Kava told him that Joe Ben needed healing because he lost consciousness all of the time.


The doctor said that they would take care of him, and I understood that apparently he was going into treatment.


That surprised me, because at that time, I didn’t think that you could proceed with your development unless you were living on Earth.


The journey ended, and I thanked Kava, opened my eyes and got up.


I was sad and relieved at the same time.


TuTu had a person with him, whom he loved and who loved him, but it wasn’t me, and then there was nothing else left for me than to go on with my own life.

 

 Contents part 3

 

CONFIRMATION OF THE DEATH HELP

 

Two weeks later, I spotted Joe Ben’s former wife in the street.


I wondered if I should tell her about my experience.

 

She looked at me with a peculiar glance, and that made me walk over to her.


"Hello," I said, "how is everything?"

 

"Everything is fine," she said, and there was something in her eyes that made it burst out of me: "By the way, I met Joe Ben the other day."


"You did?" she said with emphasis and turned to those she was together with: "Just go on. I’ll be there right away. I just have to hear something here."


I told her what I had experienced.


"When was that?"


"Around two weeks ago."


"Now let me tell you something in return," she said, "one week ago, both his son and I dreamt about him on the same night, and we haven’t dreamt about him since his death. In the dream, he said that we did not have to worry about him anymore. He felt good now, and now he was going to proceed."

 

 

TUTU RETURNS TO GOD THE FATHER

 

Ahead of my fourth and last death travel, the shaman suggested that I made a small travel ahead of the actual travel, to seek guidance from Kava as to how to deal with it.


I met Kava at the departure place and said: "I would like to hear if you have some suggestions for me, because I intend to travel to help TuTu."


She said: "Yes, you see," but as soon as she said that, I got scared that she might suggest that we began the travel in the garden, where I saw TuTu together with Lone Kvist, and then I could not hear her.


I pulled myself together to listen to her and quite right she suggested that we went straight to the garden.


I told her that I did not feel like meeting him if he came walking to me together with Lone Kvist.


"Well," she said dryly, "do you travel to help or do you travel because you want to have things your way?"


I thought deeply about it and then said that I would like to travel to help, but then I realized that I needed help myself.


She suggested that I use The Light of Love, and then she transferred it to me by blowing it into my heart, and it spread to my entire chest region.

 

Then, I realized that I also needed help to have my prejudice, my jealousy, my possessiveness and other defects of character that might blind me on the journey removed.


I asked her to inject her courage and strength into me, and she chose to grogg me.


Grogging is a kind of energy injection which is somewhat similar to a blood transfusion.


I became quiet, to let her strength and courage permeate all of my being, in particular, my solar plexus area, the area which was always hit in spite of the presence of Ka.


I also asked Ka for help so that I wouldn’t get all those arrows in solar plexus that I used to, and Ka said that he would swallow them if any came; that they did not affect him as he just digested them.


With Kava’s courage and strength, The Light of Love and Ka’s protection, it should be possible for me to encounter just about anything, I thought, but then I realized that I had yet another block.


It was difficult for me to face that TuTu might be small and scared, like he had to be when he needed my help.


I asked God to give me the strength to bear it if it proved to be the case, and then I began the actual travel after having thanked everybody for wanting to help me.


Again, Kava sat at the departure place waiting for me.


Fast, she brought me down through the hallway of rocks in The Cave of Death and to the edge where Lone Kvist, Kava and I fell out last time.


Softly, we fell down through the darkness into the light and landed in the garden.


There was a big tree there, and TuTu sat under it together with Lone Kvist.


I felt my way into TuTu and discovered that he was afraid of being alone and clung on to the presence of Lone Kvist.


Feverishly, he tried to keep her there, because he perceived her to be a light angel.


She appeared reluctant, and I went into her and looked around.


Yes, she had to go somewhere else, but she could not move on because he held on to her.

 

"Kava!" I called, "Kava, I don’t really know what to do here."


"Go into me," Kava said.

 

I went into her, and inside Kava I heard: “Wake him up! Wake him up!


He is in a trance, like a person who has taken drugs."


Intuitively, I felt that it was important that he did not cling on to people now, because then he could not move on, and I feared that he would cling to me if I became visible, so I let myself become totally absorbed by Kava and became her.


As Kava, I walked over to TuTu and began rubbing his leg to wake him up, just like Kava had woken up Joe Ben.


His attention turned towards me in the form of Kava, and he began to stroke down my fur, put his arms around my neck and held on.


Lone Kvist began fading, and he became doubtful if he should reach for her or hold on to me.


He stroked down my fur, and Lone Kvist disappeared completely.


He could feel Kava’s strength, so he clung on, and I rubbed up and down his leg to keep him conscious and let my strength flow into him.


I could not speak to him.


It was important that he was allowed to feel the strength inside himself.


A grogging took place between him and me.


I took turns being inside him and inside Kava.


He sucked her strength.


He was so weak that he could not walk.

 

That was why he was sitting down.


He was very confused, but Kava’s presence gave him the strength of knowing that he was not alone.


We just sat there together, while his inner strength and clarity slowly grew.

 

I prayed to God that TuTu might get strength and courage to get up and go wherever he had to be and offered to take him if it was the will of God.


A cone-shaped gleam, see-through like water, appeared from above.


It was the power of God the Father.


It went down through the crown of his head, and he was lit up from the inside.


Little by little, he too turned see-through like water.


God the Father sucked him up, and he became invisible to my inner eye.


Only Kava and I was left in the garden.


I came out of Kava and thanked her for her help.


I thought that it was proper for TuTu that God the Father Himself had beamed him up, but I was sad that he was now out of my life.

 

 Contents part 3

 

THE SPIRITUAL WEDDING

 

I began considering how to continue my life without TuTu.


My thoughts started revolving around the shaman.


He was an attractive person, and besides, he did not have a girlfriend.


On the 14th of May 1998, I sat on my sofa and considered if I should try to become his girlfriend.


Suddenly, my considerations ceased, because a thought struck me.


What was it I tried to delude myself into?


The Shaman was no doubt attractive.

 

He was intelligent and spiritually well developed, but of what use was that to me?

 

My heart belonged to TuTu!


I squirmed reluctantly under the realization.

 

If my heart belonged to a dead man, did that mean that never again I should rest in another person’s arms?


I began praying to my true Self, to receive the capacity to surrender to the love of my heart in spite of the unfortunate circumstances.


After having prayed for some time, I managed to come to a point where I did not meet with resistance from any part of my mind, and at that moment, I was washed over by a wave of energy and one realization after another followed.


First, I understood that at this very moment, I had surrendered unconditionally to the love of my heart.


The next moment, a line passed through me with great solemnity: "And he sat at the right hand side of God the Father, The Almighty."


Intuitively, I began drawing, and The Ring of Matter/The Ring of Illusion as described in The Bridge came into being.


When I finished drawing this Ring, I called India, to speak to TuTu’s sister, with whom I had wanted to talk for a long time.


I told her that I was writing a book about the things TuTu taught me, and that I had met him on astral travels to the realm of death.


She said that she would like me to tell him some things from her.


"I don’t know if I ever meet him again," I said.


"Yes, but if you do, will you tell him those things then?"


"Yes, I will do it," I said.


When I went to bed after the conversation, I could not sleep and decided to travel, to see if I could meet TuTu to give his sister’s messages to him.


As fast as lightning, Kava took me from the departure place to the place where I met him as Kama.

 

This time around he also sat in meditation.


As soon as we arrived, he opened his eyes and came over and took my hand.

 

He looked very joyful, and there was something youthful and boyish about him, because his joy was so unconditional.


Eagerly, he pulled me with him, and we ascended up and up and up, until we came to a place where the ground we walked on looked like a landscape of clouds.


We were in the middle of the landscape, and he eagerly pulled me to some place, where a Ring was found, standing upright in the landscape.


He stopped in front of the Ring.


The very moment I looked into it, it expanded.

 

A jolt went through me, and I knew that this was The Ring of the Power of Love, God’s Sacred Altar.

 

The Ring formed a power field, and the energies from the powers were visible as various fields that stretched deep into it


When I looked into the energy fields, I knew that now we were going to get married.


The very moment I knew it, we were married, and God the Father and Goddess the Mother appeared.


God the Father could not be seen, but I knew that he was there.


Then, we were to make love, and all the four of us united.


Now, I understood why it had been so important that I went through purifications for my sexual jealousy and possessiveness.


Love wave after love wave swept over me.


When a wave became calm, I remembered his sister and told him about her problem.


He gave me his answer, and immediately I went into the adjacent room and called Madras to tell her.


When I returned to the bed, my visions continued, and the next wave of love took off.


Our lovemaking became more and more intense, and a passion, which I had never felt in the physical world, rushed through me.


I realized that the impossible had happened.


I was in his arms, and we made love with each other across the dimensions.

 

Our love had crossed the boundary of death!


Wave after wave followed, and at one point, he said: "With love, the animal must be driven out."


My physical tongue jumped in and out like a reptile’s tongue, playing, and I uttered some animalistic sounds.


Suddenly, it occurred to me how I would look to a spectator, and that made me feel insane.


I got scared, even if I knew that it was the last remains of my animalistic mentality that was being cleaned out and said: "This has to stop now. I’m scared."


"You don’t have to be scared," he said.


"Yes, but I am scared, so we have to go on some other day."


I interrupted the travel and got up abruptly.


When I went into the living room, I thought that I was about to go insane and considered whom I could call in the middle of the night.


"Take it easy," it sounded inside me.


Oh, yes, I could take it easy.


"What then?" I thought.


"Drink some water," it sounded inside me.


I went out into the kitchen and drank some water.


"What then?" I thought.


"Turn on the radio,"

 Contents part 3


"Turn on the radio?" I thought, "in the middle of the night?"


I did so, and it turned out that my radio was at a station where the speaker spoke about mythology.


He spoke about a woman who loved her husband so dearly that she defied death and brought him back to life.

 

I listened astounded.


It was exactly my situation.


Was TuTu not exactly as alive to me as ever?


The speaker continued by telling that the woman achieved this by cleaning herself with the help of Gayathri mantra, and they would chant it now.


It wasn’t the form of Gayathri mantra that TuTu had taught me, but I chanted along, as best as I could, and then I calmed down, went to bed and dropped off to sleep.


Our Spiritual Wedding was over.

 

THE 22 DOCTRINE 4

THE ABSOLUTE

 

 

 

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

THE HOLY GRAIL

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

THE HEALED MASCULINE AND FEMININE:

THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

 

 Contents part 4

 

CHAPTER 1

THE FAIRYTALE ABOUT THE MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE

 

CHAPTER 2

THE FAIRYTALE ABOUT LOVE WITHOUT LIMITS

 

CHAPTER 3

THE FAIRYTALE ABOUT GOOD AND EVIL

 

CHAPTER 4

THE FAIRYTALE ABOUT THE GODS, WHO WALK ON THE EARTH

THE FLYING HEART

 

CHAPTER 5

THE 22 DOCTRINE

THE SEED OF LOVE

THE FERTILIZED EGG

THE OMEGA AND ALPHA SYMBOL OF THE HOLY GRAIL

THE ETERNAL CIRCUIT

THE FRUIT

 

 
Contents part 1  Contents part 2  Contents part 3  Contents part 4  Contents part 5

 

 THE FAIRYTALE ABOUT THE MASTER/MASTERESS OF THE UNIVERSE

 

The Woman went into her inner temple to find wisdom.

 

The temple hade many sacred rooms and through the temple yard she respectfully approached the Rainbow Goddess, who sat like a white light beam on Her throne, which shone in all the colors of the rainbow.

 

She bent reverently and said:

"Oh Rainbow Goddess!

You, the wisest of all women.

I have come to you to seek wisdom.

I have been told that you can enlighten me about the Master of the Universe.
Then, tell me, how do I find him?"

 

"The question must be specified. There is an infinite number of Universes."

 

"How can there be an infinite number?"

"The Universe is one but the perspective is different for the atom and for the galaxy.
Thus, there is an infinite number, and it cannot be said about one that this is The Universe and about another that it is not."

"Then tell me, how do I find the Master of the Universe in the Universe in which I live?"

 

"The question must be specified. In your Universe, there is an infinite number of bigger and smaller Masters/Masteresses."

 

"Then tell me, how do I find the right question?"

 

"Your Universe can have one ruler, and one ruler only, whom all  Masters/Masteresses, big and small, must bend to.

 

If doubts reign about the position of the ruler, chaos and confusion will exist within both big and small."

 

"Then tell me who this ruler is, so I may find him and adore him?"

 

"She is you, and you are she.”

 

"Oh Rainbow Goddess, how can I believe this?"

 

"You are, beyond any doubt, the ruler of the Universe!"

 

"How can I be the ruler of the Universe without knowing it?"

 

"You don't know it, because you haven't yet sat down on the throne."

 

"How can I sit down on the throne?"

 

"By doing it."

 

"Yes, but where do I find the throne?"

 

"The throne is in the center."

 

"Where is this center?"

 

"The center is your heart. The heart is the center."

 

"How can my heart be the center without me knowing about it?"

 

"In your heart, the high and the low, the inner and the outer, meet.

 

Here, the wisdom of your bodies and the wisdom of your Mind merge into emotional conditions, which give human life direction."

 

"Oh Rainbow Goddess, I still don't understand, how can I sit on the throne."

 

"Make real that you are the ruler of the Universe. That puts you on the throne."

 

"How can I make this real?"

 

"You must begin every day by sitting down, imagining that you put yourself in the center of your heart, on your life's throne.

 

From here, you must respectfully request all Masters/Masteresses, high and low, inner and outer, to bless you with their gifts, guidance and advice, because your Universe is big, and any ruler must seek the gifts, guidance and advice of their subjects to be able to rule.


Then, you must become silent to listen to their advice, and on this foundation, you must make your decisions, high and low, inner and outer, as to how you want to rule your Universe this very day.

 

Throughout the day, you must constantly be attentive to your heart's desires and adjust your actions accordingly.


By the end of the day, fearlessly, you must admit your mistakes.


Then, from your heart, you must ask for forgiveness from yourself and from the Masters for your mistakes.


In the end, you must decide how to avoid a repetition of the mistakes in the future and through these decisions and the actions, which spring from them, you may consider yourself forgiven.


To the extent you succeed in carrying out your decisions, first from your heart you must express your gratitude for the gifts, guidance and advice you have received in the course of the day that made your success possible and then you must congratulate yourself for your success."

 

"Oh Rainbow Goddess, how will I find the time for all of this?"

 

"Time is short, and therefore, you may approach all Masters/Masteresses at the same time by addressing them with the word Master/Masteress or the word God.

In the course of the day, any time, you may address them in this way and ask for help and guidance, and then you can be confident that help will come, and they will reveal to you what is your most important decision, in the HERE and NOW."
 
"Oh Rainbow Goddess, how do I become a beloved and honored ruler?"
 
"By working in harmony with the Masters/Masteresses of the Universe, who all must bend to you."
 
"Who are the Masters/Masteresses of the Universe?"
 
"There are infinitely many, big and small, inner and outer."
 
"Who are the biggest inner four?"
 
"They are:
The Master/Masteress of matter, who resides in the stomach.
The Master/Masteress of thinking, who resides in the brain.
The Master/Masteress of the Soul, who resides in the heart.
And the Master/Masteress of Spirit, who resides in everything."
 
"Who are the biggest outer four?"
 
"They are:
The Master/Masteress of matter, who nourishes your body.
The Master/Masteress of thinking, who nourishes your thoughts.
The Master/Masteress of the Soul, who nourishes your heart.
And the Master/Masteress of Spirit, who nourishes everything."
 
"Who are the smaller Masters/Masteresses?"
 
"They are the messengers of the bigger Masters/Masteresses!

They have developed Mastership in various fields.

They come to you in many forms to bring you the gifts, guidance and advice from the bigger Masters/Masteresses.

Through Masters/Masteresses of handicraft is brought to you an infinite number of aids to assist you in your daily chores.

Through Masters/Masteresses in adorning your body with warm or cool, shiny or lusterless, soft or hard materials is brought to you new feelings in your skin and new experience to your eye.

Through culinary Masters/Masteresses is brought to you new experiences of fragrance and taste.

Through artistic Masters/Masteresses is brought to you new experiences of form and color.

Through musical Masters/Masteresses is brought to you new experiences of sound.
Through philosophical Masters is brought to you new experiences of thinking.

Through Masters/Masteresses of the Soul is brought to you new experiences of your heart.

Through spiritual Masters/Masteresses is brought to you new experiences of everything.

Nature herself is both high and low, inner and outer, and brings you her masterly gifts, guidance and advice in all areas.

As you can see, they come to you from everywhere through everything and everybody.

Therefore, be respectful to everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence."
 
"Then, how do I work in harmony with the inner Masters/Masteresses?"
 
"By listening to the advice of the body and evaluating what needs to be done.

Then, you must act accordingly.

Through this, the maximum harmony is achieved in this Master's/Masteres’s field, and your reward will be great.

By listening to the advice of the brain and evaluating which thoughts you find useful for your purpose and which you find useless.

Then, you must act accordingly.

Through this, the maximum harmony is achieved in this Master's/Masteres’s field, and your reward will be great.

By listening to the advice of the heart and evaluating which thoughts combined with which body feelings will createmanifest the best emotional conditions.

Then, you must act accordingly.

Through this, the maximum harmony is achieved in this Master's/Masteres’s field, and your reward will be great.

By listening to the high and the low, the inner and the outer, and evaluating how you can best extract the essence of this and thereby draw nourishment from everything.

Then, you must act accordingly.

Through this, the maximum harmony is achieved in this Master's/Masteres’s field, and your reward will be great."
 
"Then, how do I work in harmony with the outer Masters/Masteresses?"
 
"By listening to their advice and honoring their gifts, whether you want to make use of them or not."
 
"Then tell me, how can I be called a ruler?

If I have to serve all these Masters/Masteresses, I'm but a servant."
 
"You are, beyond any doubt, the unlimited ruler of the Universe.

It is you who decides if you wish to be in the light or in the darkness.

If you wish to serve well or poorly.

If you wish to be loved and honored or feared and despised."
 
"How can any ruler decide that she wishes to be in the darkness?"
 
"In the darkness, there are treasures which cannot be found in the light.

In the light, there are treasures which cannot be found in the darkness."
 
"Oh Rainbow Goddess, then tell me, who am I, who rules all of this?"
 
"You are the Spirit.

You are the one who chooses among life and growth, sustenance and maintenance, degradation and destruction.

You are the Creatoress, the Maintaineress and the Destroyeress."
 
"Then, how do I choose among life and growth, sustenance and maintenance, degradation and destruction?"
 
"By wishing.

Your wish is the law of the Universe."
 
"Oh Rainbow Goddess, I'm seized by great fear of wishing for wrong things."
 
"There are no wrong wishes."
 
"Yes, but imagine, if what I wish for becomes my misfortune."
 
"There is no misfortune.

Only the pleasant good and the unpleasant good."
 
"Yes, but imagine, if I wish for the pleasant good and receive discomfort from the fulfillment of my wish."
 
"Don't fear your wishes.

Fulfill them and learn.

Learning leads to wisdom."
 
"Oh Rainbow Goddess, I see now that there is an infinite number of Universes.

Then tell me, who is the ruler of all Universes?"
 
"You are."
 
"How can I be the ruler of all Universes without knowing about it?"
 
"You are the Spirit.

The Spirit is omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent and immortal."
 
"Then tell me, why do I feel so limited, ignorant, powerless and mortal?"
 
"You have taken human form and, for a while, taken residence in that body, in that heart and in that brain, and that is the limitation, the ignorance, the powerlessness and the mortality.

No human being can be without limitation, ignorance, powerlessness and mortality.

You must humbly learn to accept your humanness, and yet you must remember your true being in the process."
 
"Then tell me, why did I take residence in this body, in this heart and in this brain?"
 
"You have taken residence there to achieve the experience of death."
 
"What is death?"
 
"Death is loss of possessions, bodies, movements, emotions, thoughts and conditions in all big and small things."
 
"It appears to me that I have many bodies."
 
"Yes, you have a physical body/Mother Earth body, a space and time body/an ethereal body, an emotional body/astral body, a mental body/causal body and a Soul/social body."
 
"What are all my bodies for?"
 
"Your physical body/Mother Earth body is your vehicle for your Spirit in the third dimension, your space and time body/ethereal body is your vehicle for your Spirit in the fourth dimension, your emotional body/astral body is your vehicle for your Spirit in the fifth dimension, your mental body/causal body is your vehicle for your Spirit in the sixth dimension, and your Soul/social body is your vehicle for your Spirit in the seventh dimension.

Only in The Absolute, your Spirit is not embodied and becomes free to be what heshe is, without any limitations."
 
"Why do I want the experience of death when I'm immortal?"
 
"Through the perspective of death, the presence of life is achieved for a human being."
 
"Why do I need to experience death to achieve the presence of life when I have eternal life?"
 
"For at human being life becomes present as the contrast to death.

Without contrast human beings experience the eternal life as death.

Therefore, death is life, in the perspective on eternity for a human being."
 
For a long time, in silence, the Woman looked at the glorious appearance of the Rainbow Goddess with strong feelings of gratitude and then said: "How do I become like you?"
 
"You are like me, and I am like you."
 
"I feel unworthy to think that I am like you."
 
"The limitation, ignorance and powerlessness of your mortal existence stand in the light of your Self-realization."
 
"Are other creaturesmanifestations like you too?"
 
"My universal being is in all women and all women are in my universal being."
 
"Are you not in all men?"
 
"All men are in the universal being of my masculine counterpart, who is called the enlightened one, and who sits like a beam of white light on his throne, which shines in all the colors of the rainbow, and his universal being is in them."
 
"I fear getting arrogant if I think that I am like you."
 
"Don't fear your greatness, and don't fear your smallness. Everybody is great and small, each in their way."
 
"How are you small?"
 
"My universal nature is my all-pervasiveness and my greatness, and my bodily nature is my limitation and my smallness."
 
"I fear the anger of others if I honestly am what I am."
 
"The thoughts of hatred/suppressed anger also have their rightful place in you and in others, but that is no reason to give up honestly being the one you are."
 
"I believed that my angry thoughts were the evil side of my being, and that they had to be slain, in particular the thoughts of hatred/suppressed anger."
 
"No, they should not be slain but transformed. They are your creaturesmanifestations, and your love, care, compassion, mercy and understanding will transform them."
 
"How can I show love, care, compassion, mercy and understanding for my hatred?"
 
"Investigate any of your countless anger forms and see in which way this particular anger form is serving you with devotion and faithfulness in accordance with the task you have given it.

Your understanding will melt your heart with love and compassion for the limitation, the ignorance and the powerlessness of the service of that anger form.

In this way, you become able to give each single anger form access to your heart, and from your heart they achieve the power of action and become able to give you the gifts they were trying to give you all along.

Through their gifts, you receive the pure consciousness of the multiplicity in your own being, which you, up to then, have denied access to your heart.

When you have thus accepted your heart as a multifaceted diamond, you are ready for the Spiritual Wedding."
 
"What is the Spiritual Wedding?"
 
"The Spiritual Wedding is the fourth wedding."
 
"What are the four weddings?"
 
"The first wedding consists in the merger of the corporeal body of God the Son with the corporeal body of Goddess the Daughter, and this is called the Earthly wedding.

The second wedding consists in the merger of the heart of God the Son with the heart of Goddess the Daughter, and this is called the Angelic Wedding.

The third wedding consists in the merger of the Soul of God the Son with the Soul of Goddess the Daughter, and this is called the Divine Wedding. 

The fourth wedding consists in the merger of the Spirit of God the Son with the Spirit of Goddess the Daughter, and this is called the Spiritual Wedding."
 
"What is the Soul?"
 
"The first body of the Spirit is like a thin film crystallized around a spark of Spirit, and this is called the naked ignorant Soul."
 
"Why is he/she called ignorant?"
 
"He/she rests in oneness and is ignorant of multiplicity, but when he/she has achieved the knowledge of multiplicity he/she is ready for the Spiritual Wedding, and through the Spiritual Wedding, he/she gives up his/her body to merge with his/her Spirit and become free, and thus the Soul is the first and the last body of the Spirit."
 
"Why would I wish to let my Soul merge with my Spirit and thus lose my Soul?"
 
"During this wedding, you enter the Absolute Heart's Holy Grail, which is called The Ocean of Love."
 
"But I don't want to lose my individuality by merging with the All."
 
"Between the seeing and the seen lies the being.

This play of words is given to show the eternal components of existence.

The seeing designates Spirit, who is oneness, who is the darkness that manifests the light.

The seen designates matter, who is individuality, who is multiplicity, who is the light that manifests the darkness.

The being is existence, who is child of the darkness and of the light, and who manifests the light and the darkness.

All do they have each their sovereign place in The Eternal’s grand scheme.

Your individuality is thus your eternal gift, which is sovereignly yours, and it can never be lost."
 
"I'm still afraid of being absorbed."
 
"Your individuality is that speck of light in the darkness which separates you in a unique way from the universal presence of darkness when you are immersed in the darkness.

Your beloved's individuality is that speck of darkness, which separates him in a unique way from the universal presence of the light when he is immersed in the light.

When you unite in the Absolute, you are immersed in him and he in you, and thus the cycle is completed, but individuality remains."
 
"What happens if I let myself become absorbed?"
 
"When your Soul merges with your Spirit, pregnant with knowledge of multiplicity, you give off the gift of multiplicity to oneness.

You yourself receive the gift of your Spirit, which is the oneness, and in this way, the two halves merge in love of multiplicity and of oneness."
 
"But I have learned that oneness is the feminine, the Holy Spirit, and multiplicity is the masculine, the Worldly Spirit."
 
"Here the principle of invertendo or lateral reversing comes into play.
In the same way as the left half of the brain is reflected by the right hand and the right half of the brain is reflected by the left hand, thus is the feminine reflected by the masculine and the masculine by the feminine.

And this is how it happens that the corporeal masculine reflects the feminine in Spirit, and the corporeal feminine reflects the masculine in Spirit, and this is the vertical reversing.

In the low, the feminine principle is oneness and the masculine principle individuality, but in the high, the feminine principle is individuality and the masculine principle oneness, and this is the horizontal reversing."
 
"I become jealous by thinking that all men are in my Cosmic Twin, and he is in them, because then all women must be connected with him and he with them, and I want him to myself."
 
"You also have that.

He is in all men, and all men are in him.

You are in all women, and all women are in you.

Like this it happens that he is connected with every woman everywhere.

From his individual love for and compassion with you springs his universal love for and compassion with every woman everywhere.

Everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence is therefore connected with him and with you, and he and you with them, but all of him belongs to you and all of you belong to him, and this is the nature of the relationship between the two Spirit Mates for each and everybody."
 
"But I need to feel safe by knowing that he is always there for me."
 
"He is always there for you, and you are always there for him, and this has been so since before the beginning of time."
 
"But I feel I lost him at the beginning of creationmanifestation."
 
"This is an illusion.

He is always with you – in his bodies, in his heart, in his Soul and in his Spirit."
 
"But I need to see that he is always there.

Otherwise, I do not know if I am able to believe what you are teaching."
 
"There will come a time where you will always see that he is there, and this is called Constant Remembrance, and then your faith will grow into certainty."
 
For a long time, in silence the woman looked gratefully at the Rainbow Goddess and then said: "I thank you for sharing your knowledge of existence with me."
 
The wisdom of the Rainbow Goddess melted into the innermost recesses of her heart, and like this, they became twin sisters.
 
Enriched with her new knowledge she slowly got up and walked across the temple yard to the sacred room of the CreatorManifestoress.

 

THE FAIRYTALE ABOUT THE LOVE WITHOUT LIMITS

 

The woman respectfully approached The CreatorManifestoress, who sat as a white light beam on HisHer throne, which shone in the same color as a delicate pink dawn.

She bent reverently and said:

"Oh CreatorManifestoress!
You, the most loved of all.
I have come to You to seek knowledge.
I have been told that You can enlighten me about my origin.
Then tell me, how I came into being."

The CreatorManifestoress radiated towards her in love, and she humbly sat down at the foot of the throne to meditate.

The perfect love of The CreatorManifestoress melted into the innermost recesses of her heart, which brought her back to the point before the initiation of creationmanifestation.

Here, the perfect oneness of the ManWoman lay in serene calm, as uncreatedunmanifested thought, latent in the cosmic being, resting in its perfection.

The ManWoman, Ardhanarishvara slowly entwined HimHerself around HimHerself in eternal blissful lovemaking, and from HimHer all the individual Spirits came into being, each one a manwoman, Ardhanarishvara.

One individual Spirit, Ardhanarishvara set into movement to become able to see hisher beloved in a new perspective, and love was the heat that started the movement.

Also, the wave of movement createdmanifested heat and sound too, and this further contributed to the heat.

The finest particles of the latent thought were warmed up, but remained unchanged, and the heat was transmitted to the coarser parts that expanded.

The heat became intense.

The coarser parts of the cosmic egg exploded in an inferno of motion and sound in several consecutive waves of expansion, and for the expanding particles, time came into being, as the gap, which arose between their uncreatedunmanifested and their createdmanifested state.

Creationmanifestation of the forms of separation had taken its beginning yet another time as a result of the heat of love in the cosmic being, and it slowly took solid form in organic growth, which increased.

Every particle was different, but held at the root an image of the four elements of the highest:

1.    The cosmic being, who is the nourishment of the All.

2.    The sublime calm in the latent thought.

3.    The oneness in the ManWoman, who slung like a double spiral around HimHerself, and HisHer double bound nature, which consisted in that HeShe could be both in the uncreatedunmanifested and the createdmanifested simultaneously.

4.    And love, who was that power that initiated the movement in the cosmic being, who now accepted that the ManWoman, as a result of HisHer love, wished to set into movement, and thereby, the cosmic being allowed the split in uncreatedunmanifested form and createdmanifested form.

The double spiral had thus split into two, which came to expression as a loving he and a loving she, sand thus he and she became able to createmanifest in lovemaking to createmanifest myriads of life, because the fruit of love is life, and life is in the organic growth in the same form as in the cosmic being, namely in Spirit, Soul, thought, emotion and action, which leads to the formation of new life.

Like each particle was different, each couple who sprang from the particles or The Cosmic Eggs were different, and also he and she were different but each one held an image of the total being, and thus, they held both the inner condition of the uncreatedunmanifested and the creativemanifestive power of love, which brought forth the outer expression of the inner condition.

The createdmanifested parts spread out to acquire the experience of life in form, which was the purpose of creationmanifestation, and to meet and separate and meet again and thereby acquire knowledge of the pain of separation and the joy of reunion, which is the life condition of the createdmanifested forms.

The loneliness that the separation brought forth gave rise to longing to merge again with one's other half and thereby return to one's perfect place in totality, so that the loneliness would come to an end.

He and she began to form images of their return to the formless in the Ocean of Love, but depending on their capacity for image formation, more or less precise images arose of the goal, which they called God, but no matter how refined the images were, The Reality at the root seemed to escape them, because no one could form an image which held the sublime calm, the total oneness and the perfect love that lay in the cosmic being.

They gave these four elements that constituted one condition many names and sought to approach this condition through thought, emotion and action of many kinds.

Through love, they sought the power of action.

Through prayer, they centered the thought in one point, and through this, they sought to createmanifest oneness.

Through repeated thought, meditation arose, which was no longer the thought but the latent image of the thought, and through this action, in glimpses, they brought forth contact with the condition of sublime calm, which, at times, could penetrate and refresh the creaturesmanifestations and remind them of their origin.

Through focusing attention on the void, they sought the cosmic being, and when these four were brought to perfect congruity, they were said to have achieved cosmic consciousness.

Since the cosmic consciousness was the very fundamental structure in each and every particle, in each and every being, it slowly became clear that it was necessary to get into the root of one's own being to find the path back.

However, the creaturesmanifestations had formed complicated images forms and could no longer find themselves, because their own creationmanifestation of forms stood in the way, and many could not even discover that it was themselves they were looking for.

For this purpose, they could find help in many places, but the biggest help they received when they met the creaturemanifestation who represented that part they belonged together with, in their whole selves in The Cosmic Egg, when they were createdmanifested.

He and she wandered for years in the millions in each their part of cosmos to acquire the experience of life in many facets and by the help of this, recreateremanifest the connection with their other half, and at intervals they met.

Then they came close to the perfect oneness, which they had once known, and the perfect love, which they were inspired by before the beginning of time, was innate in their connection and made everything they did when they were together stand out in an exceptional light.

They were together both to clean themselves of false images of Reality and to help each other to live through difficult facets of the experience of life, and also to merge their knowledge into as perfect an image of Reality as they held in between them, before they went out wandering in the cosmos again.

The new aspects of their knowledge, both the true and the false, were achieved during their wandering, when they worked and acquired knowledge, when they lived their everyday life and acquired habits, and when they met a creaturemanifestation who showed some of the characteristics of their cosmic twin.

Then, a spontaneous recognition arose, and their love was aroused, and therefore, they became willing to merge with the experiences that this creaturemanifestation had to share, and thus the love for other creaturesmanifestations brought them through many difficult points, which they would otherwise not have had the power of action to go through.

In this way, many connections could be formed that contributed to their knowledge with many special perspectives.


  Contents part 4


When the separated parts of the masculine and the feminine side from their personal Ardhanarishvara met and thereby were not exposed to chemical-sensuous, emotional, mental, social and spiritual barriers that existed between non-Spirit Mates, the transfer of wisdom could take place in a great feast of fireworks of experiences and realizations, which took place through the merging of the two, who, through this process, in one single life had their growth doubled.

Sometimes, they also got the opportunity to evaluate if they were about to come to the end with their experiences and thus had achieved that perfection which gave them the option of returning to the original oneness.

The perfection consisted in the ability to receive oneself and the other in perfect love, for when love turns inward in perfect love for oneself and outward in perfect love for the beloved and upward in perfect love for the true Self and downward in perfect love for creationmanifestation, the work is complete, and this condition is called Universal Love, which includes both the high and the low, the inner and the outer.

The fundamental emotion in the meetings between these spirit couples was the all-purifying love without limits, and, as a result of this, they entered the holy matrimony, which is that condition that contains the merger of two, and this cannot be ordained by any society but originates from creationmanifestation itself, and from this again springs the principle which has been given the following wording: "What God has united, no human can cast asunder."

This line of direction is given to make clear the importance of and the respect for love as part of the shrine, so that countries, societies, families and individuals may understand that, here, you tread on holy ground, and so they need to take a step back without interfering even if they find that the connection between this he and this she in their eyes do not seem right, proper or appropriate in their country, their society or their family.

This lay at the root of all the createdmanifested, and hereby the desire arose, because each he sought to meet the representation of his perfect she, and each she sought to meet the representation of her perfect he, and all did they use creationmanifestation in each their way, in accordance with their image of what it took to attract their Spirit Mate, and this was their subconscious attempt to come closer to their own perfection.

When the meditation was over, the woman looked in silence at The CreatorManifestoress, and then said: "Everything emanates love and clarity. I don't wish to move from this point, because I wish to preserve this love and this clarity."
 
"
Everything is in movement.

Even if you don't move from this point, love and clarity will move as long as you find yourself inside a form, for in all forms changeability/death is to be found, and this makes you lose love and clarity, and therefore you must constantly remember to return to love and clarity."

Slowly, she got up and walked across the temple yard towards the sacred room of The Destroyer.


 

 THE FAIRYTALE ABOUT GOOD AND EVIL


Respectfully, the woman approached ShivaShakti, The DestroyerDestroyeress, who sat as a deep sky-blue light on hisher throne, which shone in a luminous radiant spring-green color.

She bent reverently and said:
"Oh DestroyerDestroyeress!
You, the most feared of all.
I have come to you to seek knowledge.
I have been told that you can enlighten me about good and evil."

The love of The DestroyerDestroyeress radiated mercifully towards her, and she humbly sat down at the foot of the throne to meditate.

The Destroyer’sDestroyeress’s perfect mercy melted into the innermost recesses of her heart, which brought her back to the time after the creationmanifestation of form had begun, and she found herself as a creaturemanifestation, when time came into being.

She had been expelled from the cosmic womb through several successive waves of movement, and when the oneness between her and her Spirit Mate split into two Soul Mates, she was seized by great fear of having lost her Eternal Beloved Spirit Mate and this fear was the first pain of the formcreationmanifestation.

Spontaneously, she used her power of love to put a light crystallized veil of oblivion over the painful feeling and thus the fear got isolated on an existence plane on its own and became the thinking mind, the ego.

By thus veiling the pain of the fear and isolate it on an existence plane on its own alienation arose in the two egos, and seen through this veil the expulsion turned into a rejection.

Thereby, she got a feeling of not being like she ought to be, and she was seized by great fear.

Around this fear, her Soul put yet another veil of oblivion, and the darkening increased.

Her entanglement of her thinking mind’s, her ego had begun.

In her thinking mind, her ego the latent thought crystallized, and thereby the naked thought arose: "I am."

She looked around through her ego’s dawning thinking power and could understand nothing, because the ego’s thought is of time and can only understand through comparison with the already known, which belongs to the past, and for the ego nothing was known, and the ego was seized by shame of its ignorance and wished to hide for the rest of the creationmanifestation.

In compassion with the ignorant limitation of her ego, she used her the Soul Power, her power of love to createmanifest a sentry from the cosmic streams of energy that is the nourishment of the all and thus she put a protector at the disposal of the ego so that nothing unknown should take him/her by surprise it.

She used her Soulpower to createmanifest life in this sentry by placing a spark of her own life-force, which is the power of love, into her creaturemanifestation, so the sentry of her ego that was yet another fear thought independently could take charge of his/her assignment, which consisted in protecting her ego against the unknown, and the ego sentry served her with perfect dedication to his/her task.

By creatingmanifesting this sentry she also createdmanifested a bulwark in her ego against the rest of the creaturesmanifestations, who, for the thought ‘I am’, sprang from the unknown that the sentry had the task of protecting the ego against.

In that way, the first isolation arose, and her ego lost the oneness with the other creaturesmanifestations, and her Soul lost the joy of living due to the suffering of her creaturemanifestation.

In the prison of isolation, imagination came into being, for in this prison, the ego could see nothing but her own play with herself, and the ego entertained herself with many ideas and images, put together kaleidoscopically by the creativity her Soul had already displayed, but these ideas and images were not the Reality at the root.

Some ideas and images were uplifting and some were frightening, and thus the idea of good and evil came into being.

As good, the ego designated the pleasant and inviting images, which she felt an irresistible urge to experience more clearly, and by this urge she createdmanifested growth and life in these ideas and in these images, and thus she herself gave power to the pleasant pole of the dualistic pendulum of the ego life.

As evil, the ego designated the unpleasant and frightening images, which she felt an irresistible urge to investigate and thus createmanifest excitement in the monotony of the imprisonment, and by this urge she createdmanifested life and growth in these ideas and in these images, and thus she herself gave power to the unpleasant pole of the dualistic pendulum of the ego life.

As her thinking mind, her ego, she expanded the fantasy to embrace all the combinations she could get to think of, and as her Soul she put sentry after sentry to protect the creationsmanifestations of her ego, and to each creaturemanifestation and each sentry she gave yet another spark of her life force.

Her Soul's sentinels and her ego's creaturesmanifestations stood like a wall around her ego to serve, help and protect both her thinking mind, her ego and her ego's productions, and thereby her ego became entangled in yet layer upon layer that overwhelmed both her Soul and her ego more and more and cast a shadow on the Light of Reality.

The darkness became deeper and deeper, until her Soul, in the end, lived in the outermost darkness, completely isolated within herself, with only a spark of love power left, for the rest she had given to her ego and her ego’s sentries and creationsmanifestations of thoughtforms.

Then, she found herself in a state of weeping and grinding of teeth, and with choking heart, she prayed for liberation from this loveless ego-centeredness, and she became willing to put her self-will, her own creationmanifestation, away, to surrender to the will of God, the Keynote of the Universe, and for the repentant sinners/sinneress, the liberation of her Soul then became accessible.

She arrived at the outermost darkness, the Dark Night of the Soul, together with the first wave of creaturesmanifestations that had reached to the Dark Night of the Soul, and when their invocations for help stroke the Keynote, a wave of mercy arose in The Ocean of Love, which is the Keynote of the Universe, and a huge field of energy began to condense.

In the condensation process, the prayer looked like an a huge venomous snake that wringed through The Ocean of Love.

The form arose from the impression of the congregated poisonous being from the manifold darkened Souls, and the movement of the snake arose at the moment of creationmanifestation from the impression of the touching prayers, which initiated the movement.

The mercy emerged from the snake-form of the energy field as a being of great power, awe-inspiring to behold in hisher sublime calm with groups of poisonous snakes, who each and every one represented the despairing darkened Souls, who squirmed in grinding of teeth everywhere outside on the merciful being of love, around hisher neck, hisher arms and hisher legs, into which they sank their teeth to get rid of the poison of fear and to suck hisher life power in return.

Heshe was deeply sky-blue and sat on a throne that shone from a radiant, fluorescent, spring-green color, and hisher power consisted in the ability to break down the manifold walls of the ego-thoughts around the trapped part of her Soul.

Heshe did this by merging them into the mind of the Soul and thus resurrect them to oneness with their CreatorManifestoress, and for each thought heshe merged, the Souls regained yet another spark of their power of love.

In the last instance, heshe merged in the finest veils around the ego, which were the most difficult to remove.

And thereby the Souls, by hisher help, began to untangle their ego out of the many entanglements of the ego.

The mercy of The Destroyer was love of a very particular casting, because heshe didn't wish for anything other than the liberation of the entrapped part of the Souls, and heshe accepted that the creaturesmanifestations were unable to love or even appreciate hisher service, because hisher service was connected with much pain and great fear and with reluctance to let go of the pleasant parts of their own creaturesmanifestations.

Gradually, as hisher help to the creaturesmanifestations progressed, and ego thought after ego thought melted into the power of love of the Soul, and veil after veil was lifted, the shame of the creaturesmanifestations of not being like they thought they ought to be disappeared, and with this burden self-pity disappeared, and the creaturesmanifestations then realized that in spite of the pain and the fear all is very well.

Slowly, the day consciousness of the woman returned, and she looked at the DestroyerDestroyeress through tears of love and gratitude, in deep awe of the greatness of hisher mercy and for hisher unselfish service, and asked: "How do I get the courage to untangle my ego?"

"By finding and surrendering to the Will of God, which is unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy.

By remembering that after the destruction comes the resurrection, for the creaturesmanifestations rise again in their full height, like bird Phoenix, who rises from the ashes of his/her old existence every single day with the insight and clarity that lies at the root of the pain when the pain itself is burnt to ashes."

Transfigured, she slowly walked across the temple yard to the sacred room of The Maintainer.

THE FAIRYTALE OF THE GODS AND GODDESSES, WHO WALK ON THE EARTH


The woman respectfully approached the Maintainer/Maintaineress, who sat as a clear green light on hisher throne, which shone in all shades of red and blue, because of it’s mixture with the white light.
 
She bent reverently and said:
 
"Oh Maintainer/Maintaineress.
You, the most worshiped of all.
I have come to You to seek knowledge.
I have been told that You can enlighten me about the Gods and Goddesses, who walk on the Earth.
Then, tell me how it happens."
 

"They project their heart down on Earth, and attire it in flesh and blood."

 

"How do they attire their heart in flesh and blood?"

 

"By emerging from the love between man and woman and letting themselves be born by the woman like anybody who is born on Earth."

 

"Are You that son and daughter of humankind, who is called the King and Queen of Truth, the King and Queen of Kings and Queens and the Master and Mistress of Masters and Masteresses?"

 

"We are him and her, and any son and daughter of humankind is in us, and we are in him and her."

 

"God be thanked and praised.
I thought again and again that you were him and her.
Only now
, I understand that you were indeed so.
If any son and daughter of humankind is in you, and you are in him and her, are all sons and daughters of humankind then Gods like you?"

 

"Yes, all sons and daughters of humankind are Gods and Goddesses who walk on the Earth."

 

"If we all are Gods and Goddesses, then why do we live as ignorant human beings on this Earth?"

 

"To experience life in the third dimension and to contribute towards improving it."

 

"How can I improve life on Earth?"

 

"By improving your own life."

 

"Are you, who is called a king and a queen, when you walk on the Earth, not above all the rest of us?"

 

"No, when we walk on the Earth, we am a son and a daughter of humankind, like everybody else, and like all other sons and daughters of humankind, we need love, care, compassion and mercy from other sons and daughters of humankind and our true Selvess."

 

"What are Your true Selvess?"

 

"God, our FatherMother, our Source plus God the Soulfather and Goddess the Soulmother are our true Selvess."

 

"Two thousand years ago, you did not teach about Goddess the Soulmother."

 

"Time was not ripe.
The feminine principle Goddess the Soulmother and Goddess the Souldaughter therefore became The Veiled Woman and was called The Holy Spirit."

 

"Did you come back to teach about Goddess the Soulmother and Goddess the Souldaughter?"

 

"Yes, I came back to separate the sheep from the goats and to lift the veil from The Veiled Woman, The Holy Spirit, and thereby make clear the distinctions between the feminine and the masculine and thus put everything in its right place."

 

"How do I approach The Holy Spirit?"

 

"Through the brotherhood and sisterhood."

 

"What is the brotherhood and sisterhood?"

 

"The brotherhood and sisterhood is the equality, which is also called the sameness or The Holy Spirit, who restores the creatures’manifestation’s’ awareness of their Fellowship.


Even a stone is a creaturemanifestation, who emanated from the same point as us."

 

"What is the hierarchy, then?"

 

"The hierarchy is the diversity, which is also called the multiplicity or The Worldly Spirit, who restores the creatures’manifestations’ awareness of their uniqueness, because each creaturemanifestation is unique.

 

Even two snowflakes are different and so they differ in a unique way from the rest."

 

"Doesn't the hierarchy mean that some creaturesmanifestations stand above others?"

 

"The creaturesmanifestations have each chosen to develop various talents, and some have come further in the development of special talents than others, and this is the hierarchy."

 

"When the hierarchy separates and shows the differences, doesn't the hierarchy separate brother from brother and sister form sister?"

 

"This only happens when brothers and sisters have forgotten their origin."


"Why are you called the King and Queen of Kings and Queens, the Master and Mistress of Masters and Mistresses, the Highest Authority of the Hierarchy?"

 

"We were the first who went out as a manifested creation of form, and because we know most about being a manifestation of form, we teach others in the art of being a manifested form.


Thus, we are the humble male servant and female servant of others and their highest authority concerning knowledge of the existence as a form identity, whether others are kings or queens, masters or mistresses or beggars."

 

"When you walk on the Earth, are you then ignorant like the rest of us?"

 

"Yes, when we walk on the Earth, we am being taught in special fields by others who stand above us in this field."

 

"What, for instance, were you taught when you were here?"

 

"We were, for instance, taught the contemporary art of cooking and stone-carving."

 

"Are you also powerless over some things when you are here, like the rest of us?"

 

"Yes, and therefore we surrender our life and our will to our true Selvess' care, God, our FatherMother and origin and to God our Soulfather and Goddess our Soulmother and seek to only carry out their will for us."

 

"Were you also scared when you walked on the Earth?"

 

"Nothing human is alien to us.
Last time, we walked the path of the outcasts, and also this time, we walked the path of the outcasts."

 

"How do I stop being seized by fear about the sufferings of the World?"

 

"Stop imagining pains that are not yours, because you cannot know the carrying capacity of your neighbor; that which appears to you to be a stroke with an axe may be a pinprick for your neighbor, and that which appears to your neighbor to be a stroke with an axe may be a pinprick for you.


Any pain is given in accordance with the capacity of the recipient.


If the pain exceeds the capacity, the recipient is stripped of the awareness of the pain, and if the recipient experiences a pain
, which crosses this threshold, it is the signal to leave the physical body and give it back to Mother Earth, who gave you this gift in the first place."

 

"Is it not my task to try to relieve the pain of my neighbor then?"

 

"Many are the called, but few are the chosen.
It is given nobody to be able to help everyone with every problem, and therefore you must first search your heart to decide if it is your task to help."

 

"How do I decide if it is my task to help?"

 

"If you, in your heart, once stood in the same place as your neighbor and would enjoy helping, it is your task to help."

 

"If I never stood in the same place in my heart, is there nothing I can do then?"

 

"You can show your neighbor the way to someone else, who once stood in the same place in his/her heart and would enjoy helping."

 

"How do I help my neighbor then?"

 

"By sharing about your own experience and thereby giving your neighbor strength and the hope that also he/she can get through the pain."

 

"Is that all?"

 

"It may appear to you to be little, but it is not so.
It is important that you give that contribution to the solution that you want to give, no matter how small you think it is."

 

"What do I do if my neighbor doesn't want to hear or come along to the place where help is found?"

 

"Then you must respect that time is not ripe."

 

"How do I learn to accept my own pains?"

 

"Remember your worst pain and tell me if you would want to have been without it."

 

"When I look back at the pains of my life, I realize that for every pain I felt, I learned something valuable, and therefore, I would not want to have been without it, but isn’t it possible to learn from joy alone?"

 

"Pain and joy have each theirs to give."

 

"Is it better to give than to receive?"

 

"The giver finds the joy in giving, and this is the masculine.
The receiver finds the joy in receiving, and this is the feminine."

 

"I have learned that it is better to give than to receive."

 

"Then you have found yourself in an environment where the masculine pole is dominating, but it is of no use to have something to give if there’s nobody who wants to receive."

 

"Is the man then a giver and the woman a receiver?"

 

"When the man is thinking but not sensitive, he is dominated by his masculine pole and is thus a giver, but this belongs to the animal realm, which is that stage where might is right.


When the woman is sensitive but not thinking, she is dominated by her feminine pole and is thus a receiver, but also this belongs to the animal realm.


The symbol of the animal man and the animal woman is tooth and nail.


Their personal God is their stomach, and their universal God is survival of the fittest.


The animal man and the animal woman is the lowest rank in the human realm and swing in the pendulum between might is right and right is right, and through this swing their power of discernment is developed.

 

When the man's feminine pole begins to balance his masculine pole, he begins to become sensitive, and when the woman's masculine pole begins to balance her feminine pole, she begins to become thinking.


At this stage, he and she become able to both give and receive.

 

The sphinx is their symbol with its human head and animal body, but in the animal body the human heart is asleep.


Their personal God is their body, and their universal God is the power and the glory."

 

"What happens when the poles have come into balance?"

 

"When the poles have come into balance, the thinking man has become sensitive and the sensitive woman has become thinking.


As a result
, they enter the humane realm of the human realm, which is that stage where the human heart begins to awaken, where right is right, and where everybody gives and receives accordingly.


The diamond is their symbol.


It represents the power of discernment, which flashes ominously in the impure heart, which is that heart which is in conflict with itself, and it shines benevolently in the pure heart
, which is that heart which is at peace with itself.

Their personal God is justice, and their universal God is legislation and system-building."

 

"What happens when the human heart has become fully awake?"

 

"In the pure heart, the battle between might is right and right is right is over, and the human heart is thus fully awake.

The man or the woman with the pure heart shall step into the Soul realm and thereby see God.

At this stage
, they begin to recognize parts of themselves and their beloved in everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence.

In this way
, their love and compassion for everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence begins to awaken.

The heart is their symbol.

The reverence for the free emotional stream in their own and their beloved's heart is their personal God, and the recognition of and the reverence for the free emotional stream of their own and their beloved's heart in everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence is their universal God."

 

"Is this the highest?"

 

"Trusting their own and their beloved's pure heart, they move ahead in faith, until they have strengthened their faith sufficiently to surrender unconditionally to their own and their beloved's heart.

Thereby
, they enter the God Realm.

At this stage
, they begin to see God in themselves and in everything and everybody around them, and thereby, they begin to love God unconditionally and to know God’s unconditional love for them.

The merged heart is their symbol.

The unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy for themselves and their beloved is their personal God, and the unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy for everything and everybody everywhere at all levels of existence is their universal God."

 

"Is it true that nobody can reach God but through Christ?"

 

"Yes, everybody must walk the path of mercy, which is also called the path of the Christ Consciousness, and then move on to the path of unconditional mercy, which is also called the path of The TuTu  Consciousness, to find their way home, and it is the way home that we came to Earth to show the Truth about."

 

"What is the Truth?"

 

"The Truth cannot be known by way of thinking, and the Truth cannot be said. Truth can be. Our being shows the Truth."

 

"What brings exactly You down on Earth as a son and a daughter of humankind?"

 

"We come to take humanity further on the path home, when the World despairs because it has lost sight of its goal."

 

"What is the goal of the World?"

 

“To manifest it’s Absolute Being on Earth in a fully conscious state.”

 

"What is the Absolute Being of the World?"

 

"It is that which holds the high and the low, the inner and the outer."

 

"How does the World approach its Absolute Being in a fully conscious way?"

 

"By each and every creaturemanifestation seeking into his/her innermost heart, and thereby, learn to use both the wings of the heart, so the heart may fly high or low, in or out, with an equal amount of freedom."

 

Before the woman's inner eye, the flying heart became visible, with the human wing on the right hand side and the spiritual wing on the left hand side.

  Contents part 4

 

THE FLYING HEART

 

THE HUMAN WING                  THE SPIRITUAL WING

 

 "What happens if I have learned to use only one or the other wing?"

 

"If you have learned to use only the human wing, the heart becomes like a wing-shot bird that cannot take flight, and if you have learned to use only the spiritual wing, the heart becomes like a barrage balloon, which makes you soar high and loose connection with yourself as a creaturemanifestation on this Earth."

 

"There is far and wide in between your stepping forward on Earth."

 

"We step forward when it is needed."

 

"Now, you, as a son of humankind, have just left the field of the Earth."

 

"Yes, I have just been on Earth, given off my seed and withdrawn again."

 

"Who received your seed besides me?"

 

"I gave off my seed to each and everyone who came close enough to me, but only you, my Spirit Mate, my one and only wished to receive it in full when I walked on the Earth."

 

"How is it to be used?"

 

"As guidance, about the requirements, so as to be able to find the path back home."

 

"Many thought that you would come as a king and a queen with trumpets and fanfares."

 

"We moved anonymously among our disciples as one of them, but was recognized by many.


Some grasped in a glimpse that we had come and called us by name, others could not believe their own eyes, and yet others did not recognize us, as you know."

 

"How will humankind know that we have been hewere like  promised?"

 

"The son of humankind is the pen, and the daughter of humankind is the ink.


Through this scripture, the message will be known."

 

"Why should we let ourselves get untangled?"

 

"To bring an end to isolation and suffering and make space for love, which is the fundamental structure of the Spirit."

 

"What is the difference between pain and suffering?"

 

"Pain is a short-lived signal to act. Suffering is any attempt to avoid the action which the pain ordains."

 

"How will it be possible for me to confront the pain of untanglement?"

 

"Don't fear!
Take your cross and follow me,
for I will bless you and maintain you.
I will receive you and show you mercy.
I will look at you with love and give you peace."

 

The woman sank on her knees in worship and kissed the dust in front of the feet of the Maintainer.

 

Heshe lifted her compassionately and beamed towards her with love, until she melted into The Ocean of Love.

 

Thus blessed, the Woman slowly and peacefully went out of the temple yard to take her new life into possession.

  Contents part 4
 

THE 2❤️2 DOCTRINE

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

THE SEED OF LOVE

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

2❤️2

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

THE FERTILIZED EGG

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


The World is put together by The Four Directions – The North, The South, The East and The West, and this is One Representation of the Absolute.

The Masculine Represents The Power of Creation, which is The Power of Action, and which is found in The Divine as God The Father and in The Mundane as God The Son, who says: "The Truth is that The Truth is not The Truth."

The Feminine Represents The Power of Manifestation, which is The Fertile Soil – and which is found in The Divine as Goddess the Mother and in The Mundane as Goddess the Daughter – who says: "Don’t Fear The Fear of Fear."

The Sun Represents The Sacred Fire, which is The Purgatory that Purifies the Mind from All False Images of God – and which is found in The Divine as The Pure Consciousness and in The Mundane as The Power of Discernment – who says: "Be Aware that you are Aware of your Awareness."

The Water Represents The Purple Heart, which is The Merger of The Blue Color Representing The Spiritual Love and The Red Color Representing The Mundane Love – and which is found in The Divine as The Pure Love and in The Mundane as The Free Flow Of The Emotional Stream – who says: "Be In The Flow."

When These Four Surrender Unconditionally to Each Other and Unite in Love, they Represent The Avatar of Synthesis, which is The Holy Grail, which is found in The Absolute as The Ocean of Love and in The Mundane as The Merged Heart's Heart, who says: "I am Alpha and Omega. I am The Truth, The Way and The Life."

 

THE OMEGA AND ALPHA SYMBOL OF THE HOLY GRAIL

 

 

For a Person who has Access to The Holy Grail, The Holiest of The Holy, his/her Merged Heart's Heart is Alpha and Omega, his/her Merged Heart's Heart is The Truth, The Path and The Life, and by the help of God The Father, Goddess the Mother, his/her Beloved and his/her pure love, the Person Fearlessly remains in The Sacred Fire from his/her Merged Heart's Free Emotional Stream and receives his/her Personal Guidance from here, and this is called Drinking from The Holy Grail.

 

By Drinking from The Holy Grail, the Person finds The Right Action, which is The Sweet Fruit itself.

 

The One who Drinks from The Holy Grail is Truly Eternally Young, even though he/she Ages.

 

The Pure of Heart shall see God, and The One, who unconditionally surrenders his/her Pure Heart to his/her Beloved shall see The Ring of The Power of Love that consists of the merged consciousness of God The Divine Father, Goddess the Spirit Mother, God The Spirit Son and Goddess the Spirit Daughter and thereby become able to drink from The Holy Grail.

 

Together, we can get Access to The Holy Grail Of The World, the Open, Pure, Loving, Caring, Compassionate, Merciful and therefore Sanctified Heart, who Beats with One Sound like One Heart in a Healed and Whole World.

 

If The World Chooses to Unite and Contribute, each one with his/hers, Together, we can Realize and thereby bring into our Daily Lives The Holy Grail of The World.

 

The Contribution of The North to the World is The Masculine, who is The Power Of Action.
Without The Fertile Soil, he is Fruitless.
Without The Power Of Discernment, he is Harmful.
Without The Free Flow of the Emotional Stream, he is Suppressive.

 

The Contribution of The South to The World is The Feminine, who is The Fertile Soil.
Without The Power Of Action, she is Barren.
Without The Power Of Discernment, she is Poisonous.
Without The Free Flow Of The Emotional Stream, she is Devoid of Nutrition.

 

The Contribution of The East to The World is The Sun, who is The Power Of Discernment.

Without The Power of Action, he is Useless.
Without The Fertile Soil, he is Meaningless.
Without The Free Flow Of The Emotional Stream, he is Muddled.

 

The Contribution of The West to The World is The Water, who is The Free Flow Of The Emotional Stream.
Without The Power Of Action, she is Stagnant.
Without The Fertile Soil, she is Stale.
Without The Power of Discernment, she overflows her Boundaries.

 

When The North and The South Surrender Unconditionally to Each Other in Love, Love is Completed.


The North and The South is Up and Down, and Down and Up, like the Movement of Emotions are, and like The Movement of Love is too.

 

Without The Free Flow Of the Emotional Stream, The Union is a Sham.
Without The Power of Discernment, The Union is Undermining.

 

When The West and The East Surrender Unconditionally to Each Other and Unite in Love, The Purity of The Free Flow Of The Emotional Stream is Completed.


The East and The West is Back and Forth, and Forth and Back, like the Purity of The Emotional Stream is, and like The Linear Time is too.


Without The Power Of Action, The Union is Purposeless.
Without The Fertile Soil, The Union is In Vain.

 

When The North and The South and The East and The West Surrender Unconditionally to Each Other and Unite in Love, The Unity of The Power of Action, The Fertile Soil, The Power of Discernment and The Free Flow Of The Emotional Stream is Completed, and this is The Merged Heart's Heart, The Holy Grail of The World.

 

The Path to The Union is designated by The Seed of Love, which each Human Being can Choose to Sow in The Fertile Soil of his/her Own Heart.

 

By Realizing The Seed of Love, the Human Being can Heal his/her Heart, and thereby, he/she also chooses to Contribute to heal The Heart of The World that then becomes Whole.

If the Individual Human Being chooses to make The Seed of Love a Fact in His/Her Own Heart, this Human Being Finds The Holy Grail in his/her Innermost Heart, when –after having realized the Seed of Love – He/She Unconditionally Surrenders to his/her Beloved and Unite with Him/Her in Love.

 

Through this Union, The Low Couple, God The Son and Goddess the Daughter, are at the same time united with The High Couple, God The Father and Goddess the Mother, as the Power of their Love Raises them up to this Union, and thus both Self-realization and God-realization are attained at this Point.

 

This is also The Point of the Descending of The Outcast from The Cross, which then becomes Pure and without Suffering.

 

When a Person has Achieved this Consciousness, he/she is Situated in the Center of his/her Heart’s Heart, which is Designated by the Point where The Lines of The Cross Meet, and this is the Point where Consciousness both moves up and down, and in and out, and Time Moves Out of the Linear into the Spiral, from One Circle to the Next, into Higher and Higher Realms.

 

THE ETERNAL CIRCUIT

 

 

Within the Eternal Circuit the Ascending Spiral with its Ascending Curve Represents The Masculine Principle, who is The Spiral Time, who is The Unmanifest, who is the Cosmic Seed, who is The Spirit, who is the Oneness, who is The Immortal, who is The Eternal, who is the Untanglement, who is the Evolution.

 

The Descending Spiral with its Descending Line Represents The Feminine principle, who is The Linear Time, who is The Manifested, who is The Cosmic Egg, who is Matter, who is the Individuality, who is The Mortal, who is The Time, who is The Entanglement, who is The Involution.

 

The Double Spiral is Active in The Service of Involution when we Move towards The Descending Line, and it becomes Active in The Service of Evolution when we Move towards the Ascending Curve.

 

For upcoming Eons, Humanity is Moving into The Ascending Spiral, towards The Ascending Curve on The Journey Back to The Origin.

Our Vehicle for The Journey and The Landscapes we Pass Through is our Divine Mother, and The Spirit who Lives in The Vehicle and in The Landscapes is our Divine Father, and we are The Fruit of Both.

 

Self-realization and God-realization, which is one and the same, is Achieved at the Point where The Ascending Curve Activates The Ascending Spiral, which is called The Serpentine Snake, Kundalini, whose Spirit Represents The Movement towards The Ascending Curve.

 

This is also The Point of The Highest Union, where The Four Whole – God The Father, Goddess the Mother, God The Son, and Goddess the Daughter – Surrender Unconditionally to Each Other and Unite in Love and become One, and this is The Initiation of The Journey into The Ascending Spiral.

 

A Messenger, who consisted of God The Son, who was the Carrier of The Seed, and who bore The Holy Name 22 and Goddess the Daughter, who was the Carrier of The Egg, and who bore the Holy Name 22 came to Unite and thus Fertilize The Egg in Their Own Lives on Earth, so their Fruit could Make Real The Reunion of God The Father and Goddess the Mother with God The Son and Goddess the Daughter, and thus Show The World that this is Possible.

 

Since He and She has now Carried Through the Union, it is Proven that it is Possible to bring down The Holy Grail onto this Earth, and thereby, it has become Possible to One And All who wishes to realize it in their Own Lives on Earth to do the same, and therefore, The Sacred Number of The Earth has changed from Three to Four, which Represents the Union of The Two Couples, and this is The First Positive Power factor in The Spiritual Life of Humankind.

 

The Imbalance, which is in Uneven Numbers, is called Negative, because one Point is Cast Out if The Points are Paired.

The Balance, which is in Even Numbers, is called Positive, because no Point is Cast Out if The Points are Paired.

 

The Negative and The Positive must Unite, like The Masculine Principle, who is The Power of Creation, and The Feminine Principle, who is The Power of Manifestation, must Unite so the creationmanifestation of God’s Children’s Children can take place.

 

When The Masculine Principle, who is The Darkness, and The Feminine Principle, who is The Light, Unite in Love, They Bear Fruit in The Multiplicity, who is the creationmanifestation of the Individual Spirits, who are their Children, who is of the Darkness and of The Light, just like God the FatherMother HimHerself.

 

The Darkness and The Light are Equal Partners, and They Love Each Other Dearly, and when They Unite, the Color Grey is Produced, like it is at Dusk, like it is at Dawn, and therefore The Love of The Universe is felt most at These Hours.

 

In the Spiritual Life of Humankind, One in Its Highest Aspect Represents the Oneness and in Its Lowest Aspect Isolation, and this is the Self-denial, but Isolated we achieve Nothing.

 

Two Represents The Reflection of The Eternal Beloved in Its Highest Aspect and in Its Lowest Aspect The Reflection of the Thinking Mind, The Ego, but this Love is Limited, as it does not bring The Holy Grail down on Earth.

 

Three Represents the Suffering, because Two form a Couple and One is Cast Out, and The Outcast Represents that Suffering which is Known by All Outcasts.

 

Four Represents The Universal Love in Its Highest Aspect and in Its Lowest Aspect The Balance.


Four is therefore The First Positive Power-factor in The Spiritual Life of Humankind, because Four Contains the Soul Realm and All creaturesmanifestations of the Souls, as it Contains both God The Father’s, Goddess the Mother’s, God The Son’s and Goddess the Daughter’s Eternally Merged unconditional Love, and thereby both the Souls and all that the Souls CreatedManifested that Came into Being as a Result of the Projection of Forms by the Four Whole into all Formbased Planes of Consciousness.

 

The Conscious Awareness of the merged Four Whole Represents The First Step in the Knowledge of The Holy Grail, and it is the Initiation of this Step in The History of Humankind, which has now taken place.

 

Only when the whole Spectrum of CreaturesManifestations, who are Represented by the mentioned Four Whole are Honored on Equal Terms, there is Universal Love, and then The First Positive Power factor is Working to the Fullest.

 

All-Pervasive and Honored Spiritual Teacher and Highest Master 22 walked on The Earth in Humility and did not rise above any Being, but did not Prostrate to anyone either.

 

His Heart swelled with Unconditional Love, Care, Compassion and Mercy, and even during the Greatest of Opposition, this did not Dwindle.

 

May His Holy Name Blossom in Love and Joy on Everybody's Lips for The Eternity of Eternities.

 

Honored Be His Memory.

 
  Contents part 4

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

THE FRUIT

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

THE FRUIT

 

GOD IS EVERYTHING.

EVERYTHING IS GOD.

 

I AM GOD.

YOU ARE GOD.

HE IS GOD.

SHE IS GOD.

IT IS GOD.

WE ARE GOD.

YOU ARE GOD.

THEY ARE GOD.

 

THE PATH IS YOUR LOVE

 


AMEN

 

THE 22 DOCTRINE 5

THE TREE OF LIFE

 

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

THE AVATAR OF SYNTHESES 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

 

LIFE BOTH HERE AND THERE

 
Contents part 5
 

CHAPTER 1

MY LIFE WITH THE MASTER

THE MORNING GIFT
THE WEDDING PARTY
HONEYMOON
THE DEAD AND THE LIVING
THE COMING INTO BEING OF THE BRIDGE
SHAMANISTIC TRAVEL
PROBLEMS
COSMIC QUADRUPLETS
THE AVATAR OF SYNTHESES
THE TREE OF LIFE

THE RINGS OF PAIN

APPENDIX A: THE FOUR BIG RINGS OF PAIN
APPENDIX B: THE FOUR SMALL RINGS OF PAIN
APPENDIX C: THE FOUR MINIRINGS OF PAIN
APPENDIX D: THE FOUR MICRORINGS OF PAIN
APPENDIX E: THE FOUR NANORINGS OF PAIN

THE RINGS OF JOY

APPENDIX F: THE FOUR BIG RINGS OF JOY
APPENDIX G: THE FOUR SMALL RINGS OF JOY
APPENDIX H: THE FOUR MINIRINGS OF JOY
APPENDIX I: THE FOUR MICRORINGS OF JOY
APPENDIX J: THE FOUR NANORINGS OF JOY
THE RINGS OF PAIN

APPENDIX K: THE FOUR RINGS OF AVARICE
APPENDIX L: THE FOUR RINGS OF ENVY
APPENDIX M: THE FOUR RINGS OF HATRED
APPENDIX N: THE FOUR RINGS OF ARROGANCE

THE RINGS OF JOY

APPENDIX O: THE FOUR RINGS OF FAITH
APPENDIX P: THE FOUR RINGS OF HOPE
APPENDIX Q: THE FOUR RINGS OF LOVE
APPENDIX R: THE FOUR RINGS OF TRUTH

 

Contents part 1  Contents part 2  Contents part 3  Contents part 4  Contents part 5
 

MY LIFE WITH THE MASTER

 

THE MORNING GIFT

 

On the morning after the Spiritual Wedding, I woke up early.


I did not expect seeing or hearing anything about TuTu, at least not until next time I traveled shamanically.


I had borrowed some CDs from the library, and among them, I chose on particularly because it had an orange cover and was recorded with one of TuTu’s favorite singers.


While he lived on Earth, it frequently happened that one of us played one of the contemporary songs for the other and said: "This is from me to you," because a certain song expressed the emotions we had at heart, and when the first number, which was called Dance into the Light, streamed out of the speakers, it contained a text which overwhelmed me and made me feel that this song was from TuTu to me, and I was so moved that my tears started rolling.


As I played all the numbers, it was as if my ears opened to certain parts of the texts, and the images that these words conjured in me made my joy rise to ecstasy.


"Oh, what a wonderful morning-gift" I thought.


At that moment, TuTu appeared before my inner eye, standing in front of me.


I told him with my inner voice that I always believed that the expression ‘the love which crosses the boundary of death’ was a metaphor, and I was glad that now I had been granted this experience together with him.

 

 

THE WEDDING PARTY

 

Some time ago, I had invited guests for dinner for the following day and went out to shop and make the food ready.


When I invited them, I did not know that my Spiritual Wedding was going to take place just ahead of my dinner party, but I decided to look at my two friends as the wedding-guests.


I had an unusual amount of energy, and I ended up making an abundance of food and drink to put on the table.


There were seven different drinks: Indian tea, Indian spicy milkshake, freshly squeezed carrot juice, orange juice, soda pops, milk and water.

 

There were many different courses: One vegetable hors d’ouvre, soup, fish, two different poultry, safronrice, spiced potatoes, chapattis, raita, pickles and chutney besides the sweet dishes: Carrot halva made as an ice-cream layer cake, gulab jamun and fruit.


There was so much food that I was able to invite dinner guests for three days in a line, so I ended up feeling that our wedding was celebrated thoroughly.

 

 

HONEYMOON

 

It proved that I continued to get visions of TuTu.


I remembered the predictions of the palm leaf archives that I would get continuous visions of my Guru and God from the middle of my fifties, and I was now a little more than 53½ years old.


The following three weeks, I saw TuTu in many different places, where I either spoke with him or
was just silently together with him, while I rode on a wave of energy, which ascended to ecstatic heights several times a day.


Then the energy wave slowly ebbed out, and the honeymoon was over, but I continued to get visions of TuTu.

 

 

THE DEAD AND THE LIVING

 

I had invited the shaman to dine out in appreciation of his help, and TuTu walked next to us.


In between
, I was more aware of TuTu than of the shaman, because he made various clown acts, but I did not expect the shaman to be aware of him because he was invisible to the physical eye.


I told him that TuTu was with me most of the time, and he said that it wasn’t good to hold on to the dead.


You should let go of them, so they could move on and go to where they were going to be, and you yourself could move on with your life.


When we came back home, I said to TuTu with my inner voice that I did not want to prevent him from going to where he was supposed to be, and so I thought he should leave.


"I’m your husband," TuTu said seriously.

 

I thought that subconsciously I might hold him back because of the power of my love, and the following days I prayed to God that TuTu would be allowed to go to where he had to go, instead of moving around on the earth-plane with me, but TuTu kept appearing before my inner eye.


In the end
, I said to him: "I don’t want you to be here if it is because I retain you here with my love that you are here."


"I’m here because I want to be here," he said.


I told the shaman, but he looked skeptically at me and said that it wasn’t good to allow the departed Souls to come and go as they pleased.


He thought, for example, that it was inconvenient if the departed Soul turned up and disturbed your interaction with the living like on the day when we were out dining together.


I agreed with him, but at that time
, I did not think it was inconvenient that TuTu appeared.


"To me, he is equivalent to what other people call their guardian angel," I said, "do you think it is inconvenient when your guardian angel turns up, no matter when it happens?"


"No," he said.


"Yes, but I feel likewise," I said.


However, a time-phase came where I kept my inner vision open all the time from fear of losing contact with TuTu.


Because of the objections of the shaman, I got the courage to close my inner vision when I was preoccupied with other things.


It proved that TuTu found ways to get in touch with me when it was required, even if I was preoccupied with other things, just like when he was alive, and that confirmed to me that I did not have to be so afraid of losing contact with him, and with this the daily life in our Spiritual Marriage set in, just like in any other marriage.

 

 Contents part 5

 

THE COMING INTO BEING OF THE BRIDGE

 

The shaman left the country three months a year, and in one such time period, I decided that I wanted to travel to the upper world, which is a shamanic area he had told me about.

I got in touch with a female shaman, and one evening, I traveled under her drumming.

TuTu was at the departure place.

I told him my errand, and he asked what I wanted to do in the upper world.

"Nothing in particular. I just want to see how it is there," I said.

"I see," he said, but we did not move from the spot.

A moment later, I said: "The shaman told me there is a rainbow you can walk on, when you walk from the outer world to the upper world.

The last couple of weeks, I have had a feeling that I was going to write one more part of the book to describe the connection between the outer and the inner world, and I figured that I could find out what it was going to be about by walking on the rainbow.

Then I could start writing and call that part of the book The Rainbow Bridge.

"It is going to be called The Bridge," he gently said with emphasis on bridge.

"That I’ll decide myself," I thought, but said nothing.

I also thought that I did not know how to begin and end an extra part of the book if I did not get around to walk on The Rainbow Bridge.

"Can’t you give me a sign in the outer world, which will confirm to me that I haven’t misunderstood anything before I start writing?" I asked.

"How many confirmations do you need?" he said softly with a dry undertone, and his tone of voice made me realize that I had received so many confirmations already that it was about time that I began trusting my own perceptions of things.

Some days later, I woke up one morning and felt ready to begin the work.

It proved to be an uplifting task, because I woke up every morning with a sentence in my head, and as soon as I wrote it down, I felt inspired and wrote away.

The biggest job consisted in the editing, because I discovered that many of the things I had written under the impression of inspiration were not expressed in a way that was clear to others, so I kept working with the expression until I felt understood by at minimum one other person, and in this process, my intuitive perceptions also became clearer to myself.

 

 

SHAMANIC TRAVEL

 

The shaman came back from his journey, and I told him a bit about my continued marriage with TuTu.


He thought it would be good that I did a shamanic travel to seek guidance from somebody other than TuTu concerning my relationship with him.


I thought it was a good idea, and when I came to the departure place, all four of them – God the Father, Goddess the Mother, TuTu and Kava – were waiting for me.


I told them that I traveled to seek guidance concerning my relationship with TuTu.


Kava stepped forward.


I told her that I felt confused, because it felt strange to make love with TuTu with empty physical arms.


"You should just put out your astral arms," she said.


"I don’t know how you do that," I said.


"Just do it,” she said, "you have done it many times before."


"Yes, but I don’t think I can find out any more," I said.


"Practice makes Master," she said dryly.


Goddess the Mother stepped forward, and I said that I did not know what to do with my relationship with TuTu.


"Follow your heart," she said.


God the Father could not be seen, but his presence could be felt.


Usually
, he was found behind Goddess the Mother during my travels, but now he stepped forward without me being able to ‘see’ him for that reason and said: "Love him with all your heart and all your Soul."


With these approvals from the inner world as to what happened to me, the shaman’s objections to my relationship with TuTu stopped.

 

 

PROBLEMS

 

Yesterday evening, I felt down.


It had been on its way for a couple of days.


I had almost finished three parts of the book and had started the part concerning our weddings.


I expected to finish that in the course of a short time.


I was in a jam, which consisted in me wanting to finish the book but was also afraid of doing so, because I figured that my life on Earth was over when I had finished this task.


On one hand that was all right, because I did not think I had anything coming to me, but on the other hand, I was afraid of getting just as confused as the two people I helped on one of my shamanic travels, so I might end up not being together with TuTu.


I also feel in a jam because TuTu recently said to me that he did not want me to live alone.


"You don’t love me," I said.


"On the contrary," he said, "it is exactly because I love you that I don’t want you to live alone."


I thought it might not be so healthy, physically and psychologically, to live without an earthly partner, but on the other hand, I wanted to continue my marriage with TuTu, and I could not see how I would be able to overcome two marriages at the same time, in particular, when the one I was already in demanded a special effort because of its special character.


Maybe, I could find ways of giving my body and mind as much care as TuTu wanted for me so that it would compensate for the lack of physical care and attention from an earthly spouse.


After having thought about it
, I prayed to God to be allowed to expand my conscious contact with TuTu instead of getting involved in a new Earthly marriage, but later it proved that TuTu was preparing me for my meeting with my husband to be.

 

 

COSMIC QUADRUPLETS

 

Even later, after having lived with my new husband for more than five years, I was told in a shamanic travel that the individual ManWoman from whom TuTu and I sprang had projected HimHerself into creationmanifestation together with another couple and thus we had become Quadruplets at Soul level as we lived together in one Cosmic Egg especially formed for Quadruplets and out of us four TuTu was one, my new husband was one and I was one.

 Contents part 5

 

THE AVATAR OF SYNTHESES

 

This morning when I woke up, it slowly penetrated to me that there was one title I still had not used, that appeared in my mind when the Master suggested me to do the task of writing this book back in 1982.


The title was: "My life with the Master," and at the time, I had imagined that I would go to India to be with the Master so as to be able to describe his life and daily living for posterity, but little by little, this title had slipped into the background.


When I met TuTu, I thought the title would contain a description of my life with him, but that I already described in parts one and three, so I had given up using it even though I had the impression that it was going to be one of the main titles.


Last night, I decided that I would take a day of rest today, because I have worked hard with the book for a long time, but when I woke up this morning, it slowly became clear to me that time was ripe for me to start working with: "My life with the Master," and that it was going to be about TuTu’s and my marriage across the dimensions.


It also coincided with a clue he left for me in the physical world, when he lived here.


On m toy-keyboard, he had stuck some hearts made of plasticine.


A red heart with a white heart on top, a green heart with a gray heart on top and finally a tiny white-gray heart, and when I remembered them today, I understood that when he made them several years ago and put them there, he knew already how this work would turn out.

 

The red heart with the white on top had a size as compared to the other hearts that were equivalent to parts one and two. The green heart with the gray on top had a size that was equivalent to parts three and four, and then the tiny heart had to be equivalent to the size of part five.


I was relieved about that, because I was getting somewhat overwhelmed by the fact that, all of the time, something new cropped up that I had to write about, so that I did not know when this work would be finished.


When I happened to ‘look’ at the hearts on the musical toy keyboard, I knew that I would be finished writing "The TuTu Doctrine - The New World Order" when I had finished part five, and that it wasn’t going to be as extensive as the others.

 

TuTu had actually left quite a few of such clues for me while he still lived here, and whenever I ran into various problems while writing this book, one of these clues seemed to 'fall into' my eyesight.


For example, when I was about to make the graph of The Cosmic Egg, I suddenly ‘saw’ the photograph that TuTu had had taken of himself in Sundholm with The Cosmic Stone Egg.


It sat next to my computer and I did not understand why I hadn’t ‘seen’ it before.


In the stone workshop in Sundholm, they had a stone, which they called dead man’s stone, because it was so hard that it did not want to take shape of anything.


Every time one of the stone cutters began creatingmanifesting a form, it broke, so the form got destroyed, and then they gave it up.


TuTu decided to make a birdbath
out of it and gently began cutting it with hammer and chisel, while at the same time, he followed the structure of the stone very carefully to permit it to take a shape which suited it.


It also broke a couple of times, but he did not give up and continued his work.


Little by little
, the birdbath got an egg-shape, and he told me that it had taken the shape of The Cosmic Egg.


When it was about
to be finished, a heart stood out on the outside, because the stone had a structure in this place which did not permit him to cut into it.


"Look," TuTu said, "everything has a heart. The stone has shown me its heart. As you can see in one curve, it is a broken heart."


He repaired the broken heart as much as possible and then profiled a perfect heart inside the egg, in the deepest place where the yoke is found in an egg, while at the same time, he placed it where the two colors of the stone, a red and a black color, parted the stone into two areas, so the heart got a light and a dark half.


Then, he polished it carefully, until it was totally smooth and felt soft to the touch.


Until I ‘looked’ at the photo, I had put the merged form of the ManWoman in the middle of an oval with two sharp edges, but when I ‘looked’ at the photo, this graph got its final form.

 

For some time, a line had passed through my head quite a few times: "Don't you know, who we are?" without me thinking deeper about it, but this morning the title for part five turned up.


It was going to be called "The Avatar of Syntheses."


I turned the title over and over in my mind and knew that it was a designation for TuTu and me put together.


I was a bit uneasy about the thought of writing it openly, but thought:

 

"It cannot be helped.


No matter if it appears irritating, ridiculous or disappointing to some that it is merely us – a foreign worker, drug addict and alcoholic and a former drug addict and prostitute – who are the first representatives of the Avatar of Syntheses, it is my task to write the truth, like I see it here and now.


Why, I don’t have to take it personally if people have difficulties believing it."

 

 

THE TREE OF LIFE

 

The last couple of days something has become clear to me when I woke up, that I had to write about in this book.


I was sure I would be able to remember it, but as soon as I was fully awake, I could not get hold of it again.


Now I have become more respectful, and so I have been faster to react and write down immediately, and this morning I finally got it: "Number files compress language files, and language files translate number files."


As soon as I wrote it down, I knew that it concerned The Tree of Life, which is a graph, illustrating the power structures in the unfolding of life in the same way as the library-tree in a computer shows the branching out of Programs, folders, files and their interrelation.


Because of the power and the force of the knowledge, it might harm the person, who uses it if it is used without the required understanding.

The person in question might feel locked in the vice of destiny because of the fear that can arise, if he/she has a preconceived set of judgments on emotional energies as being good or evil.

When a he/she looks at the power structures in his/her life by the help of The Tree of Life with such an attitude, it can lead to despondency and unfreedom, because he/she can feel overwhelmed by the thought of some of the streams of energy, which can show up, and which he/she perceives as evil, because they are painful.

The intention with the knowledge is to liberate him/her in a way, which makes it possible for him/her to use all types of emotional energy in the most advantageous way, but this cannot be done if instead he/she gets paralyzed by those judgments he/she passes on his/her emotions.


In the hierarchy of the consciousness of humankind, the knowledge has therefore only been given to chosen persons who have reached a certain degree of development in the existential sphere, but now the development of humankind has reached a stage where time is ripe to pass on the knowledge to the Fellowship of humankind as a whole.


Now, anybody can use this tree according to capacity and inclination, and the result of the individual truth-teller's work with it is exclusively dependent on the talents, capacity and inclinations of the truth-teller.

 

This will express itself in how the crown of the tree gets to look, because anybody can expand the explanations according to his/her outlook and temperament.


By the help of the tree
, you can investigate the energy combination of everything by linking letters and numbers.


Basically, language files consist in the single letters of the alphabet, and number files consist in the numbers from 0-
¥.


They are linked together in a sequence where a gets number 1, b number 2 and so on, as illustrated below:


a-1, b-2, c-3, d-4, e-5, f-6, g-7, h-8, i-9, j-10, k-11, l-12, m-13, n-14, o-15, p-16, q-17, r-18, s-19, t-20, u-21, v-22, w-23, x-24, y-25, z-26.


Bigger power units are numbers above 9, and here you can read the energy compound by reading each digit by itself and the combined force by extracting the sum of the digits.


You can extract the essence of the energy combination by extracting the sum of the digits and then the sum of the sum of the digits and so on until you reach a single digit.


If a person extracts these in context with his/her date of birth, it will indicate where the person focuses his/her life-energy to get access to the essence of his/her heart, which is contained in the sum of the digits in the last but one link and the essence of  the essence of his/her heart's heart, which is contained in the sum of the sum of digits in the last link.


Sometimes, it is a multi linked process before you reach the last two links, and these extra links show the spreading of the life-energy of the person as compared to the innermost goal of life, which, in the last but one link is love, care, compassion and mercy, and in the last link is unconditional love, care, compassion and mercy
.


Every number from 0 to 9 has a meaning, which is the root of the tree, a definition, which is the trunk of the tree, and an explanation, which is the crown of the tree.


An initiating working field could be to look at the power structure in one’s personal name, one’s family name and one’s married name and see how the energies are structured in oneself, in one’s family and in the family of one’s spouse, and how these energies play together in one’s life circumstances compared to one’s goal of life.


Another working field could be one’s date of birth, but only fantasy sets the limits for the possibilities of using it.


A trained person like TuTu could look at the number of a bus ticket and say something about the emotions which would be activated during the bus ride for the holder of the ticket, and then make use of the energy of these emotions to the maximum advantage.
 

 Contents part 5

 

Meaning of 0: God.
Definition: Every thing and no thing.
Explanation: God is no thing in HimHerself, but changes every thing's value by being added to the right side, the hierarchy, or left side, the Fellowship, like 0 is no thing in itself, but changes the value of all numbers being added to the number.

 

Meaning of 1: Unity
Definition: Merger
Explanation: At the highest level merger of human self and Spirit takes place, and at the lowest level merger of human self and the thinking mind, the ego takes place.

 

Meaning of 2: Reflection
Definition: Mirroring
Explanation: At the highest level, the beloved is reflected, and at the lowest level, the thinking mind, the ego is reflected.

 

Meaning of 3: Expulsion
Definition: Suffering
Explanation: In three, two forms a couple and one is cast out, and the outcast is the base of suffering.

 

Meaning of 4: Balance
Definition: Harmony.
Explanation: Harmony arises as a result of the awareness of God the Spirit Father, Goddess the Spirit Mother, God the Spirit Son and Goddess the Spirit Daughter.

 

Meaning of 5: Life-Elixir
Definition: Fountain of Youth
Explanation: The Fountain of Youth consists in the attainment of the syntheses of God the Spirit Father, Goddess the Spirit Mother, God the Spirit Son and Goddess the Spirit Daughter.

 

Meaning of 6: CreationManifestation
Definition: Love
Explanation: Through love on the physical,
ethereal, emotional, mental, social and spiritual plane, new life is createdmanifested on each of these planes.

 

Meaning of 7: Regeneration
Definition: Rest
Explanation: Regeneration of the life-forces is achieved through rest, where the effects of the spent energies are absorbed and find their new form on the physical, ethereal, emotional, mental, social or spiritual plane.

 

Meaning of 8: Communication
Definition: Interaction
Explanation: Any interaction between energies is an expression of communication.

 

Meaning of 9: Fulfillment
Definition
: Limitation
Explanation: When the maximum achievement has been reached, the limit has been reached and this is fulfillment.

 

Contents part 5

APPENDIX A:
THE FOUR BIG RINGS OF PAIN



APPENDIX B: 
THE FOUR SMALL RINGS OF PAIN




 

APPENDIX C: 
THE FOUR MINIRINGS OF PAIN





Contents part 5
 

APPENDIX D:
THE FOUR MICRORINGS OF PAIN




APPENDIX E:
THE FOUR NANORINGS OF PAIN


 
Contents part 5
 

APPENDIX F: 
THE FOUR BIG RINGS OF JOY


APPENDIX G: 
THE FOUR SMALL RINGS OF JOY




APPENDIX H: 
THE FOUR MINIRINGS OF JOY





Contents part 5

 

 APPENDIX I: 
THE FOUR MICRORINGS OF JOY



 

APPENDIX J:
THE FOUR NANORINGS OF JOY
 




APPENDIX K:
THE SMALL, MINI, MICRO AND NANORING OF AVARICE




Contents part 5
 

APPENDIX L:
THE SMALL, MINI, MICRO AND NANORING OF ENVY



 

APPENDIX M:
THE SMALL, MINI, MICRO AND NANORING OF HATRED




 Contents part 5
 

APPENDIX N:
THE SMALL, MINI, MICRO AND NANORING OF ARROGANCE




APPENDIX O:
THE SMALL, MINI, MICRO AND NANORING OF FAITH



APPENDIX P:
THE SMALL, MINI, MICRO AND NANORING OF HOPE



Contents part 5
 

  APPENDIX Q
THE SMALL MINI, MICRO AND NANORING OF LOVE




 APPENDIX R
THE SMALL, MINI, MICRO AND NANORING OF TRUTH


 

Contents part 5